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Think in general they tend to be less polite. My generation was brought up to


use words such as please and thank you. Yes and no sir, excuse me, pardon
me were the order of the day. Holding a door open or helping an older
person with parcels was second nature. I also would have not been allowed
to call an older adult by their name. As my Mom says, "Good manners and
politeness will carry you far in this world."

Politeness and good manners were valued more previously than they are
today. But whilst many topics have rued the youth of today and their
disrespect can I just say that there are plenty of adults who are disrespectful
too!

But whilst there is a place for being polite children should NOT be taught that
it is expected in all situations as I was. They need to know that if they are in a
situation in which they feel threatened that it is ok to scream and fight if
necessary. That may seem obvious but research has shown that very polite
children are unable to "make a scene" in such situations. So take your child to
a field and teach them to respect others on a day to day.

Not all teenagers will be rude or disrespectful, but some disrespect is a


normal part of teenage growth and development. Your child is learning to
express and test out his own independent ideas, so there will be times when
you disagree. Developing independence is a key part of growing up.

Also the teen mood can change quickly. Because of how teenage brains
develop, your child isn’t always able to quickly handle her changing feelings
and reactions to everyday or unexpected things. And this can sometimes lead
to over-sensitivity.
Teenagers are starting to think in a deeper way than they did a few years
earlier, and they can have thoughts and feelings they’ve never had before.
Some young people seem to burst into the world with a conflicting and
radical view on everything. This shift to deeper thinking is a normal part of
development too.

Things to avoid with teenage disrespect

 Arguing rarely works for parents or teenagers. When we get angry, we


can say things we don’t mean. A more effective approach is to give
yourself some time to calm down.

 If you’re angry or in the middle of an argument, it will be hard to


calmly discuss what you expect of your child. A more effective
approach is to tell him that you want to talk, and agree on a time.

 Being defensive is very rarely useful. Try not to take things personally.

 Even though you have more life experience than your child, lecturing
her about how to behave is likely to turn her off listening. If you want
your child to listen to you, you might need to spend time actively
listening to her.

 Nagging isn’t likely to have much effect. It might increase your


frustration, and your child will probably just switch off.

 Sarcasm will almost certainly create resentment and increase the


distance between you and your child.
When to be concerned about teenage disrespect

 If your child’s attitude towards you and your family doesn’t respond to
any of the strategies suggested above, it might be a warning sign that
there is a deeper problem.

 You might also be worried if there are changes in your child’s attitude
or mood, if he withdraws from family, friends or usual activities, or if
he runs away from home or stops going to school regularly.

 If you’re concerned about your child’s behavior, you could:

 Consider seeking professional support – good people to start with


include school counselors and teachers.

 Discuss the issue as a family, to work out ways of supporting each


other.

 Talk to other parents and find out what they do.

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