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Bad Teacher

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{{Movie Corner}}

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Alright folks, can we all settle down for a second?

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Oops! I know that you... hey you settle down

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C'mon everybody settle down

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Sandy..c'mon..now now guys its is not
a time to make silly jokes ...

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its a time for a little bit of talking before
we really get to the important part.

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Here we go,
well its been another great year here at JAMS.

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Who can forget Mr.Pinkus's haunted classroom

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Thank you Sandy, for that.

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And I ain't afraid of no ghosts.

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Or the wild success of

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the book drive for womens prison
which mrs.Pathacheks class sponsored

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Thank u Beth, but as summer droves upon us,
its time not only to say goodbye to another school year

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but sadly also to say goodbye
to one of our faculty members

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Yes,..Elizabeth..is Elizabeth Halsey here?
There she is..

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Elizabeth can you come on up here?
Yes thats appropriate applause, I think.

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Elizabeth, even though you are
only with us for one short year..

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Please know that we will always
consider you part of the JAMS family.

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And we got you a little something.

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Oh! Thank you.

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Wow..almost $40, thank you.

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You're very welcome, speech?

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Ok well, i'm really terrible at this types of thing
so, i'll make it quick

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Ah, i know i've only been here a year,
but there's so much i will miss.

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My students, probably most.

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And I wish that i had gotten to know
all of you better.

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But, between four classes and planning a wedding
my plate was full

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still, I know that our students are
in good hands.

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And even though i'll never teach again professionally.

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I've realised that i dont need a blackboard or
a classroom to set an example.

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Adios, bitches!

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Baby doll..
I'm home.

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In here..

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Get yourself hot coz i'm gonna suck
your dick like i'm mad at it

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Oh! Look, your moms here.
Hi Mom, what a fun surprise.

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Suitcases, honey are we going on a trip?

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Aah..Elizabeth, we need to talk.
- Sure.

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I'm starting to think that
maybe we need to take a break
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Forever...

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- Mom! Tell her what the accountant said.
- Mom!

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Steven said that you
spend $16,000 last month.

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He thinks you're bad news
- I know women like you.

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Damnit Mom! I told you i could handle this
- I just want to ask her something.

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You truly love my son?
- I love him so much it hurts.

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Alright then, when is his birthday?
- Mom...

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i'm not..you know..that is just
offensive that you would even ask me that

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It's today..

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I know..
Thats why i got you this okay

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honey, happy birthday

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Austin Market?

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Okay fine, i'll sign the prenup.
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It's over, Elizabeth.

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Mark, I'm pregnant.

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- Bullshit
- No you're not

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Okay fine, I'm not actually pregnant.

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You know what, i'm starting to wonder ...

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whether this is always been about the money.
You never loved me.

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I dont love you?

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I have been listening to you
whining about opera for the last year.

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Okay, If the younger generation doesn't get into opera
then guess what? No more opera!

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An art form just has died

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If opera goes away, we're fucked.

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I want my ring back.

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What am i supposed to do? Huh?
Where am i supposed to go?

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3 MONTHS LATER

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There she is, Elizabeth Halsey.
Wooooo...

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I am so excited we're gonna be across-the-hall mates.

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But I'm so sad..it's because
your relationship ended

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Who are you again?
- Amy Squirrel.

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Squirrel?
- Yeah, you know.

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Don't worry, you were..kind of a long bolf last year
and so... busy planning the ... wedding

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I found him in bed with somebody else
- Oh my Gosh

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It was a another man
- shut the front door!

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Look..I know you kinda skated by last year
doing the bare minimum thing

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but i just wanna say, now you're back, I just know
you are gonna get your teaching on

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I thought the teachers were supposed
to get the apples

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well, i think the students teach me
at least as much as i teach them

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That's just something i say sometimes
- Stupid.

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Uh sorry..I just wanted to know
if you wanted to grab some lunch

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I'm kind of in the middle of something, Lynn
- my treat.

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You know, Lynn
when I first started teaching

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i thought that i was doing it
for all the right reasons

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Shorter hours, summers off,
no account credibility...

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oh, I love my summers...
fresh corn... mmmm

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from now on, my full time job is finding
a guy who's gonna take care of me

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God i pray for that

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You know i spent my entire summer
hanging out at bars near where the Bulls practice

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Had some fun, got some cool souvenirs
But those guys are not looking to settle down

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i mean.. They all wear condoms..then, they take
the condoms with them, thats how paranoid they are

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like its so easy to get pregnant from
some dude nutting into a condom

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yeaa... ugh! You're gonna find someone great
Right?

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I've been thinking about it a lot, i'm like an 8,
8 and a half..but if I got a new pair of tits.. Right?

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You!..don't wanna do that,
you're already so pretty

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You have no idea how difficult it is to
compete against these Barbie doll types

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yea..that's true, we're not getting any younger
yea..we should finish up

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Wally's got that big orientation in
the auditorium

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Yea, I'm not gonna hear that
- Oh..it's mandatory.

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I'll probably won't go either.

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Huh..no i might, i probably
going to sit in the back, maybe leave early

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maybe stay the end half..play by Yer
or just stay the end.

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Okay..oh! This was fun, huh?

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Welcome to Air 7th Grade Social Studies
I'll be your captain, Miss Squirrel.

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Crews announce tour for the world
geography through current events, we may
have a way over in civics, so buckle up

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cause its gonna be a crazy ride

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The photographer who was like... so nice
he made me feel like really really comfortable

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I might get flown to Kansas City
for their Fashion Week

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Kansas City.
- Stalk much?

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Bhuhhrr!
Loser..

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Hi, I'm Sasha Abernathy,
My mother baked this cookies for you..

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Just leave them on the desk..

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You need something?

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Anyone seen Stand and Deliver?
Show hands..

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..You kidding me?
Edward James Olmos?
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Lew Diamond Phillips?

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Well, alright.. You... and you
grab the TV and roll it up front

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we're watching a movie on the first day?
- I think its awesome.

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You rock!

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These cookies suck

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incoming..

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Elizabeth
Hey,.. Russell

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Russell Gettis, gym teacher
We did busted together last spring

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Yea - So, I heard about the whole engagement thing ...
that blows.

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Know i walked in on him trying to fuck his dog?
Peanut butter everywhere

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thats gross...
anyway ...

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hey, uh.. May be too soon, but
you wanna like..grab a bite or something sometime

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you still a gym teacher?
- I am, yea

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then No

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I dont date coworkers
- I wont tell anyone

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I also said no..
- Okay cool, well its been awesome

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something's got a
case of a sleepyss.

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What?
- Did you see the colsaw of education?

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Yea, one kid ..hit the
other kid with some colsaw..

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You were'nt at the orientation the other day.. Okay!

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Boy, Elizabeth...
You midssed a boat load of stuff

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anyways, at the orientation i suggested
a new system for supervising lunch

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it's a quadrant system

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i tell you what... why dont you just
send me memo and if i have any questions, i'll find you

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Oh! OOh! Yeah
Meant to ask..
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Did i hear you were showing a movie this
morning on the first day of school?

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How do i know what you heard?

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Listen, I dont wanna tell you
how to run your class but..

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Maybe it might be fun to try
some icebreakers..

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Like telephone charades,
or this string game..

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Are we gonna have a problem,
me and you?

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No,..eli.. If i gave you that impression
well.... ah!.. I'm so sorry

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because ..actually i was really hoping we could be
more than just across the hall mates

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I don't know what you heard
but I don't need muff pie (vagina)

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No, of course not
I don't even know what that is..i..

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Just meant friends
- tell you what, friend..i've gotta get going, cover me

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Elizabeth, lunch isin't for
another seven ...minutes...
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...whos gonna watch your quadrant?

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Hi, there.. You look like Losty MC Losterson..

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I know right?
Can you tell me where room 107 is?

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I'll take you there
- Oh. You dont have to do that

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Oh! Stop it, be my pleasure.

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Scott Delacorte.
- Elizabeth Halsey.

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I am the new sub.
- Welcome welcome

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Thank you.
- Is that Jaeger-LeCoultre?

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Good eye

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thanks, I love men's watches, its kind of a hobby

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you know sometimes I get self-conscious about it but...

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My grandfather made it, so..
- Oh your grandfather designs watches?

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The family business, yea my mothers
maiden name is lecoultre
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shut up! So did you and your wife just moved to town?
- I'm not married

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I actually just got out of a relationship.
Catherine

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its been a year, she's still
the wallpaper on my phone

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she has such a big heart
- Looks like enormous

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As you can see the weight is evenly
distributed and there is minimal scar...

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Dr. Vogel, best hands in Chicago

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May I?
- Absolutely, take em' for a spin

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God! Wow! Yea..these are amazing
- Thank you.

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And the nipples..oh..
- I know

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I'll take two

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the total is $9300 for the surgery,
plus one night stay at our facility

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00:15:41,927 --> 00:15:43,179
How would you like to pay?

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Thats absurd.. I'm a teacher
not a drug dealer

178
00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:53,238
We accept all major credit cards
- yeah well.. My credit situation is little.. Complicated

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I'm sorry, but if you cant pay,
then i can't schedule the appointment

180
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I'll be back

181
00:16:01,262 --> 00:16:06,141
I'm rooming with a guy i met on craigslist
all i'm asking you for is 10,000 dollars

182
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you owe me for breaking off the engagement
you know how humiliating that was?

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Lover... lover look, I dont wanna fight..
Its only $10,000... it would mean the world to me

184
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Lover... are you there?!

185
00:16:25,104 --> 00:16:28,315
Fucking troll
- did you call my name?

186
00:16:28,658 --> 00:16:33,727
No, i said fucking troll
- Oh, I thought you said Kirk

187
00:16:35,115 --> 00:16:39,050
Do you have 10 grand?
- Nope

188
00:16:39,084 --> 00:16:44,470
And also i might be a little short on
rent this month, like a lot short

189
00:16:44,782 --> 00:16:51,105
This might help. Wanna get wasted?
- Uh..Yea...

190
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:53,623
Cool, see ya.

191
00:16:55,662 --> 00:17:01,430
We are in a state of emergency, and my word is law
There is only one boss in this place, and that's me

192
00:17:01,431 --> 00:17:03,703
The HNIC

193
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:09,667
Alright..We'll pick this up again tomorrow

194
00:17:11,891 --> 00:17:14,016
Can I help you?

195
00:17:24,548 --> 00:17:27,893
What?
- I am the student leader for the trip to Springfield

196
00:17:28,127 --> 00:17:31,085
Shocker!
- We're having our carwash this weekend

197
00:17:31,085 --> 00:17:32,638
If you're around, maybe we could
wash your car.

198
00:17:32,638 --> 00:17:35,143
The Springfield trip is the best part of 7th grade...

199
00:17:35,178 --> 00:17:37,746
...last year's car wash raised 6000 dollars

200
00:17:40,234 --> 00:17:44,218
bringing these magazines to school is not the way
you are going to make friens, those 8th Grade boys..

201
00:17:44,218 --> 00:17:45,865
Are just using you

202
00:17:46,783 --> 00:17:49,436
so i go now?
- Yes, you go now.

203
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:52,084
But if i see these again,
I'm gonna call your parents

204
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Do you understand?

205
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Go to class.

206
00:17:58,038 --> 00:18:02,934
Hey hey..Hey! Go to class.

207
00:18:06,228 --> 00:18:08,884
Another exciting day in the Principal's office

208
00:18:09,513 --> 00:18:10,699
Do you have a second?

209
00:18:10,699 --> 00:18:16,756
Uhh yeah. Oh! You know what I wanna
talk to you too, did i hear that right, that
you were showing movies all last week?

210
00:18:16,756 --> 00:18:19,038
Hmm.. Some clips, maybe

211
00:18:19,073 --> 00:18:23,098
But you know in a lot of ways
i think that movies are the new books

212
00:18:32,858 --> 00:18:37,128
Is this new?
I love it

213
00:18:37,503 --> 00:18:40,895
You know,I've always said that
dolphins are the humans of the sea

214
00:18:41,104 --> 00:18:45,385
I have a bumper sticker that says that
- No way?

215
00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:48,251
I'm not kidding.
It's on my car.

216
00:18:48,676 --> 00:18:51,483
Come on...

217
00:18:51,842 --> 00:18:54,367
Hold on a sec...

218
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:05,108
His name is Simon and he lives
in the Cayman Islands..

219
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With his brother, Ajack

220
00:19:10,687 --> 00:19:14,900
What a great story.
- What did you wanna talk about?

221
00:19:15,515 --> 00:19:17,836
I was thinking that I wanna get more involved

222
00:19:17,836 --> 00:19:23,675
You know..I don't know... Something like ...maybe..
Supervising the 7th grade car wash.

223
00:19:24,179 --> 00:19:29,225
Uhh..you know Amy has been running after like..
Two years - Yea, but she does so much already.

224
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,966
It might be nice to give her a little rest

225
00:19:32,203 --> 00:19:36,907
It's so nice to see you becoming a real
member of the JAMS family.

226
00:19:37,141 --> 00:19:39,990
It just feels so good to help.

227
00:19:56,377 --> 00:20:00,704
Holy shit!
- Alright, let's do this.

228
00:20:53,956 --> 00:20:57,452
Hey, Mr. Delacorte, yes!

229
00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:00,442
Hey, kids.
- Hey..

230
00:21:01,333 --> 00:21:02,987
Hey, You better not take it for a joyride

231
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,700
- Are you sure?
- I'm watching you.

232
00:21:05,393 --> 00:21:08,600
Miss Halsey..I'm impressed.
- Thanks, I've been working out.

233
00:21:08,650 --> 00:21:12,884
What a turn out.
- Oh yeah, the kids are just having a blast

234
00:21:12,884 --> 00:21:14,422
Well, that's what it's all about.

235
00:21:14,422 --> 00:21:17,421
God, you know we should go get a drink tonight
I feel like getting drunk

236
00:21:18,509 --> 00:21:22,688
I mean not "drunk" drunk, strong buzz
still be able to drive.

237
00:21:22,896 --> 00:21:27,777
I'm sorry... I can't get em'.. Just not ready
but if you're patient..

238
00:21:27,778 --> 00:21:29,371
I think i might be worth your while

239
00:21:29,824 --> 00:21:34,333
- You're worth the wait
- I think so too

240
00:21:56,567 --> 00:22:03,289
Wally, it's Amy Squirrel.
- Amy? What are you do...? Get out of here!
241
00:22:03,289 --> 00:22:05,092
This will just take a sec...

242
00:22:05,092 --> 00:22:09,685
Umm..I happen to be pedalling past
the 7th Grade car wash this Saturday

243
00:22:09,685 --> 00:22:14,318
- Kill it! Can we talk about this later?
- Later we'll all die said the gator to the fly

244
00:22:14,318 --> 00:22:18,583
Fuckk! What?
- Just go

245
00:22:20,824 --> 00:22:26,399
Now, i don't want to speak out of school
but ..from where i was sitting, i think ...

246
00:22:26,534 --> 00:22:32,819
It seemd like Miss Halsey was getting
pretty chummy with the money

247
00:22:33,092 --> 00:22:38,400
Are you accusing Elizabeth of embezzling
from the 7th grade car wash?

248
00:22:38,689 --> 00:22:44,993
Wally..we barely know anything about her
- Hey, you know what they raised almost $7000.

249
00:22:44,995 --> 00:22:50,500
So whatever she did, worked. Lee Mathews dad called,
he said the car wash was a raging success.

250
00:22:50,532 --> 00:22:54,643
And Lauren Lisman's dad called and he said
we should have car wash every weekend.

251
00:22:54,643 --> 00:22:58,543
So instead of accusing her,
you might wanna ask her for some pointers.

252
00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:02,759
Well if those pointers include
wearing provocative beach wear..
253
00:23:02,759 --> 00:23:03,865
..For money, i think i'll pass.

254
00:23:04,641 --> 00:23:09,800
This is ridiculous, this is the one place in this building
where I'm allowed to be alone with my thoughts

255
00:23:09,871 --> 00:23:13,986
I only had this once a day..
If I'm lucky.

256
00:23:13,986 --> 00:23:18,350
Next time you accuse one of my teachers of stealing,
you better have some evidence.

257
00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:21,354
God damnit! We are done here.

258
00:23:23,185 --> 00:23:28,085
Alrighty, have a super awesome day, you two.

259
00:23:33,914 --> 00:23:36,484
Holy fuck! I thought she was never gonna leave.

260
00:23:41,333 --> 00:23:44,660
What's going on with you?
Need a tissue? Huh?

261
00:23:45,658 --> 00:23:49,203
She is such a phony.
- Yeah, major phony

262
00:23:49,497 --> 00:23:52,551
But she also cares a lot too.

263
00:23:56,389 --> 00:24:01,296
I love how his eyes sparkle when he smiles.
- I wanna sit on his face.

264
00:24:01,296 --> 00:24:03,150
Hey, guys.
- Heyy.

265
00:24:03,185 --> 00:24:07,380
Lynn, will you go grab me some milk?
- What kind of milk do you want?
266
00:24:07,380 --> 00:24:10,948
The skim, whole, 2 %, chocolate?

267
00:24:10,983 --> 00:24:14,048
Surprise me.
- Okay, i'll get you skim, no 2 %..

268
00:24:16,485 --> 00:24:20,833
So...
- Holla, fellow educators..

269
00:24:23,676 --> 00:24:25,813
Is everything okay with Gaby?
- She will be fine.

270
00:24:26,062 --> 00:24:30,809
I told her, Gaby if you're not happy with yourself,
you cant expect others to be happy with you.

271
00:24:31,305 --> 00:24:34,491
It starts with you.
- I'm sure she appreciated that.

272
00:24:35,328 --> 00:24:41,842
And it's exactly what i told Elizabeth when she
told me about this upcoming fake breasts job.

273
00:24:42,541 --> 00:24:47,453
Sorry... sorry I thought you were telling everyone.

274
00:24:47,788 --> 00:24:48,660
Did you?

275
00:24:48,660 --> 00:24:51,999
Well i'm prochoice, i believe everyone should choose
whatever makes them happiest..

276
00:24:52,506 --> 00:24:54,270
Except abortion, of course.

277
00:24:54,304 --> 00:24:56,252
Of course.
- Of course.

278
00:24:56,731 --> 00:25:00,829
Looks like algebra is calling.
I hate math. Wish me luck.

279
00:25:00,962 --> 00:25:05,159
Hi, I'm a math terrortist
with close ties to algebra

280
00:25:05,159 --> 00:25:08,852
I have weapons of
maths instruction

281
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,974
Here, i'll walk you.
- Man..Everyone is so nice around here.

282
00:25:19,609 --> 00:25:22,600
Of course, hey watch my quadrant!

283
00:25:22,605 --> 00:25:24,941
Here you go.. 1 %... Surprise!

284
00:25:25,984 --> 00:25:30,084
Hi, my name is Elizabeth Halsey.
Any questions?

285
00:25:30,691 --> 00:25:33,081
Hi, I'm Sashas mother.

286
00:25:33,081 --> 00:25:37,181
I am a little concerned at the importance you're
placing on movies.

287
00:25:37,279 --> 00:25:40,617
I was just wondering whats your plans
were for the state test?

288
00:25:40,979 --> 00:25:44,388
Listen, the school hired me because...
i'm amazing at what i do

289
00:25:45,222 --> 00:25:47,000
i used movies as one of my tools

290
00:25:47,002 --> 00:25:51,765
but i also use a variety of
other multimedia techniques
291
00:25:51,766 --> 00:25:55,929
Listen, i could take you day by day through
my entire syllabus, but that's not just how i do things.

292
00:25:56,310 --> 00:26:00,546
So "if I play it" as the Jews say.

293
00:26:01,165 --> 00:26:04,539
Please, help yourself to some
delicious snacks and drinks in the back.

294
00:26:06,443 --> 00:26:08,996
Class dismissed.
- Excuse me, Miss Halsey.

295
00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:11,468
Hi, i'm Morgans dad.

296
00:26:11,468 --> 00:26:14,749
Morgan.

297
00:26:14,750 --> 00:26:19,867
Great kid, so precautious.
- I just wish Morgan's grades were reflected.

298
00:26:19,867 --> 00:26:24,876
If i know Morgan, and i think i do.
Ah!... Morgan will get there.

299
00:26:25,260 --> 00:26:28,171
Listen, i'm sure you have full paid
along with a rocking hot body.

300
00:26:28,406 --> 00:26:32,806
But if you could just keep an eye on Morgan?
My wife and I would really appreciate it.

301
00:26:33,249 --> 00:26:37,262
For supplies and whatever.

302
00:26:38,547 --> 00:26:42,518
Supplies?
You're Chase's parents?

303
00:26:43,765 --> 00:26:48,021
You know a student like Chase would
benefit so much from some extra attention?

304
00:26:48,410 --> 00:26:50,999
So you think we should hire a tutor?

305
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:54,478
You know i'd be happy to do it myself,
but its just so hard with a class of 20..

306
00:26:54,843 --> 00:26:59,179
25 or 30, whatever.
- To be a teacher?

307
00:26:59,412 --> 00:27:02,812
God, it is so hard on my salary
to have to pay for my own supplies

308
00:27:03,104 --> 00:27:05,940
and my fiance, he cheated on me with his sister

309
00:27:06,294 --> 00:27:10,802
as your personal tutor, i guarantee
personally that she will get an A.

310
00:27:11,148 --> 00:27:14,551
Or your money back

311
00:27:16,225 --> 00:27:18,685
Say no more.

312
00:27:20,292 --> 00:27:22,536
Make it out to cash.

313
00:27:56,974 --> 00:28:09,089
For unlimited celebrity sex videos visit
WWW.CELEBRITYSEX.TK

314
00:28:10,696 --> 00:28:14,995
Amy, hi.
- Hi, I got you something.

315
00:28:15,092 --> 00:28:20,642
What? You dont have to do that.
- It's nothing, its my favorite book.

316
00:28:22,332 --> 00:28:29,315
Eat, Pray, Love?
This is my favourite book too.

317
00:28:29,912 --> 00:28:35,290
What's your favourite part?
- Love.

318
00:28:49,333 --> 00:28:52,600
What do you want?
- Is that marijuana?

319
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,799
No, it's medical marijuana.

320
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,655
I have a prescription and everything.

321
00:28:56,656 --> 00:29:00,000
And i'm not gonna tell you why because,
it's between me and my doctor.

322
00:29:00,222 --> 00:29:03,719
Oh..ok.. Well feel better.

323
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,000
Thanks.

324
00:29:05,001 --> 00:29:07,514
My mom and i made some holiday cookies.

325
00:29:08,135 --> 00:29:10,796
Those oatmeal rasin again?
- Gingerbread.

326
00:29:13,594 --> 00:29:15,695
Let have it.

327
00:29:15,696 --> 00:29:16,938
Watch the bowl

328
00:29:20,593 --> 00:29:22,358
Do you have anything to drink?

329
00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:26,381
Listen, word to the wise
330
00:29:26,382 --> 00:29:29,000
Stop dressing like you're running for congress

331
00:29:29,002 --> 00:29:31,839
I dont wanna run for congress.
I wanna be President.

332
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:35,895
See, that's what i'm talking about.
Keep saying shit like that you're gonna get punched.

333
00:29:37,234 --> 00:29:40,423
You really wanna be a President
or is that something your parents want?

334
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,333
Look you don't have to decide right now.

335
00:29:45,334 --> 00:29:48,999
Then who knows one day you wakeup
you decide you want to be a missus.

336
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,000
Salary plus tips.

337
00:29:51,001 --> 00:29:53,066
Think about it.

338
00:29:53,067 --> 00:29:56,157
If i think about it,
Will i get extra credit?

339
00:29:56,555 --> 00:29:59,527
Hopeless.
Watch your feet.

340
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,981
This is indeed a winter wonderland.

341
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,222
Wanna get high?
- Yeaaah.

342
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,644
Give me a nug..
I'll go smoke it in my car.
343
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:34,607
Wow..No, I meant
Do you wanna get high with me?

344
00:30:45,130 --> 00:30:48,000
Hey, they don't make songs like this anymore, right?

345
00:30:48,001 --> 00:30:50,106
You know thats not actually true Scott?

346
00:30:50,107 --> 00:30:55,755
I'm writing a song right now called
855,8241777.

347
00:30:55,856 --> 00:30:57,832
Extension 777.

348
00:31:00,411 --> 00:31:02,103
So you guys having an awesome time?

349
00:31:02,103 --> 00:31:05,353
Yes, Oh my God!
I love to dance, i could dance all night.

350
00:31:05,353 --> 00:31:07,222
Hey can we go somewhere and talk?

351
00:31:07,223 --> 00:31:09,258
I'll totally go for a talk right now

352
00:31:13,259 --> 00:31:17,999
What's up?
- Okay..whoo

353
00:31:18,142 --> 00:31:20,764
I do not know how to say this.
I'm a kind of nervous.

354
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,655
Feels it's all happening so quickly.

355
00:31:22,655 --> 00:31:26,297
You can tell me anything Scott,
you're one of my best friends
356
00:31:26,297 --> 00:31:28,350
i'm crushing on someone

357
00:31:28,350 --> 00:31:31,515
i think you're pretty great too
- Thanks. It's Amy.

358
00:31:33,266 --> 00:31:35,666
No running in the hall!

359
00:31:36,746 --> 00:31:38,554
Kids.

360
00:31:38,554 --> 00:31:40,859
She's been amazing helping me do with my breakup.

361
00:31:40,859 --> 00:31:43,874
Yeah, i don't know her that well I know all the
other teachers really hate her fucking guts ...

362
00:31:43,875 --> 00:31:46,000
But i stay above all that stuff

363
00:31:46,111 --> 00:31:49,207
Can I be honest with you?
- Of course.

364
00:31:49,207 --> 00:31:53,165
It's nothing personal, but ...

365
00:31:53,165 --> 00:31:55,812
i don't think that you're Amy's type.

366
00:31:55,812 --> 00:31:58,405
Really?
- Yea

367
00:31:58,493 --> 00:32:02,000
She seem so..i don't know... sympathyco.

368
00:32:02,001 --> 00:32:05,590
Trust me
She's only using you for your money.

369
00:32:06,043 --> 00:32:08,256
What?

370
00:32:10,208 --> 00:32:14,128
Well I feel stupid.
- No, Scott... Scott

371
00:32:14,130 --> 00:32:17,444
Look at me. I'm gonna get my breasts enlarged
in a couple of months..

372
00:32:17,445 --> 00:32:18,997
...and when i recover from my surgery...

373
00:32:18,998 --> 00:32:23,432
...you and i are gonna go out and we are gonna
find awesome people for each other.

374
00:32:23,544 --> 00:32:25,220
That sounds nice.

375
00:32:25,333 --> 00:32:27,500
You're out of your mind.

376
00:32:27,502 --> 00:32:31,532
There is no one in the LeBron who'll ever be Jordan.
Nobody will ever be Jordan.. Okay?

377
00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:33,790
Ok, Lebron is a better rebounder and passer

378
00:32:33,791 --> 00:32:36,717
Will you let me finish?
Can?..Can you let me finish?

379
00:32:36,718 --> 00:32:39,821
Call me when Lebron has six championships
- That's the only arguement?

380
00:32:39,826 --> 00:32:42,155
It's the only argument i need, Shawn!

381
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:47,768
Let's get baked.

382
00:32:49,311 --> 00:32:53,268
Goods... we're gonna go get some baked goods
383
00:32:54,893 --> 00:32:57,489
You got this?

384
00:32:58,308 --> 00:33:02,715
Just try it..tyr it!
- Just..please stop pressuring her

385
00:33:02,716 --> 00:33:04,990
How does she know she doesn't like it
if she has never tried it before?

386
00:33:04,991 --> 00:33:10,281
You know, we should probably be getting back.
- Just fuckin do it.. Weed is awesome.

387
00:33:20,905 --> 00:33:23,596
Hold it in. - Just blow it out
Hold it in. - Blow it out

388
00:33:25,723 --> 00:33:29,371
Okay..Lynn, I'm gonna take this.

389
00:33:29,768 --> 00:33:32,255
I'm gonna go find a hot dog.

390
00:33:35,150 --> 00:33:37,999
Well, that's definitely impressive
- Like you can do better?

391
00:33:38,660 --> 00:33:41,031
Really? You sure you wanna do this?
- Yea, gym teacher.

392
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:47,515
You understand this's what i do?
- Yea i got it - Like for a living

393
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,110
You have no upper body strength.
- Yes, i do..

394
00:34:02,111 --> 00:34:05,000
Just not in my arms or my chest. 395 00:34:05,001-->
00:34:08,000 Well I have cat like reflexes accept for it

395
00:34:19,222 --> 00:34:23,334
So, all this is mine, by the way
As far as the eye can see.

396
00:34:23,335 --> 00:34:28,798
Really love with what you've done with
the place - Ya if you notice the nets,
that's a brand new nets i had installed

397
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,000
This's original wood.

398
00:34:31,001 --> 00:34:33,110
See those championship banners?

399
00:34:33,111 --> 00:34:36,000
When i first came to the school, they were'nt here.

400
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,788
They were over there,
I have moved over there

401
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:48,269
So.. Russell, what has to go wrong in someone's life for
them to end up being a middle school gym teacher?

402
00:34:48,332 --> 00:34:53,630
Well ah.. Granted it wasn't the original plan
As a young boy I wanted to be a professor..

403
00:34:53,777 --> 00:34:56,176
..Of physical education.

404
00:34:56,677 --> 00:34:58,944
At Harvard, but ...

405
00:34:59,641 --> 00:35:01,769
I dont know... i like it here.

406
00:35:01,770 --> 00:35:05,223
What wend so wrong in your life
that you ended up educating children?

407
00:35:05,224 --> 00:35:09,564
I dont know.
Maybe i was a bad person in an other life.
408
00:35:11,393 --> 00:35:14,323
We should like.. Go have a drink.. Sometime.. Together.

409
00:35:14,324 --> 00:35:16,333
Like over winter break.

410
00:35:16,444 --> 00:35:20,555
Naah.. Got something going.
- Can I say something for the record?

411
00:35:20,556 --> 00:35:24,265
Fine.
- It's about ...your... ttt

412
00:35:25,333 --> 00:35:28,697
The big fake titties
Are you really gonna do that?

413
00:35:29,222 --> 00:35:31,223
Why would you do that?
Your tits are fine.

414
00:35:31,222 --> 00:35:34,222
I like your tits..
Ask my roommate.

415
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,344
Seriously?

416
00:35:45,222 --> 00:35:47,159
Seriously?

417
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,884
Come on.

418
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,187
Seriously?

419
00:35:56,170 --> 00:35:59,984
Hey... Why are they closed?
- It's Christmas?

420
00:36:00,292 --> 00:36:02,726
Whatever...
Hey you got a lighter?
421
00:36:02,916 --> 00:36:07,999
Miss Halsey, its me Garette from school
- It's Garrett. Having a nice Christmas?

422
00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:09,323
Aces..

423
00:36:09,324 --> 00:36:11,907
Ahh! What're you doing rest of day
you gonna see your family?

424
00:36:11,908 --> 00:36:16,777
Ahh... Yeah i'm gonna go see some people
We're having like a big..pot luck so..

425
00:36:17,879 --> 00:36:22,158
Miss Halsey? Would you like to come
and spend Christmas with us?

426
00:36:39,548 --> 00:36:42,222
That we remembered
Have we ever forget.. What is that? Haaha

427
00:36:42,222 --> 00:36:47,222
Guys, i'm really sorry i have to eat and run
I gotta head over to the shelters so..

428
00:36:47,223 --> 00:36:50,421
Awww..
- The shelter, Ah, thats so inspiring.

429
00:36:50,422 --> 00:36:52,922
Yeah, i really love helping bums.

430
00:36:52,923 --> 00:36:55,835
But you'd have to wait for dessert
we have a real treat.

431
00:36:55,836 --> 00:37:00,634
Garrett, why don't you run and get
some of your new poetry.. - I dont want to hear it

432
00:37:00,635 --> 00:37:04,418
God..I'm so embarrassed
- Don't be shy, marbles.

433
00:37:04,452 --> 00:37:07,978
This is called the The Chase by Garrett Tiara.

434
00:37:09,166 --> 00:37:14,420
XOXO, my love for you is XOXO.

435
00:37:14,421 --> 00:37:17,855
About her smile
that I would walk a mile for.

436
00:37:18,135 --> 00:37:22,887
About her personality
that makes me see the best in me.

437
00:37:22,887 --> 00:37:30,756
One glance, one dance
because together we can achieve... balance

438
00:37:30,757 --> 00:37:32,384
Thank you.

439
00:37:35,053 --> 00:37:38,027
I loved it
and i usually hate poetry.

440
00:37:38,028 --> 00:37:41,926
Oh Philip, hate on Christmas?
- Oops..Sorry, Santa.

441
00:37:41,927 --> 00:37:43,749
Sorry, Jesus.

442
00:37:44,952 --> 00:37:50,057
Umm..why don't you two give me a hand with dessert?
And we can let these two ..discuss.

443
00:37:51,112 --> 00:37:52,600
Fuck!

444
00:37:53,221 --> 00:37:57,796
So, the poem's about that girl?
- Yea, Chase.

445
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:02,015
I could just talk to her and tell her how i feel

446
00:38:02,016 --> 00:38:03,864
I knew she'd understand

447
00:38:05,111 --> 00:38:07,870
Listen, thats not gonna happen, buddy

448
00:38:07,871 --> 00:38:12,628
I was that hot girl, hotter... even
and i would never've gone out with you

449
00:38:12,629 --> 00:38:15,380
And i'm not saying that to be mean,
i'm saying that to be helpful.

450
00:38:15,381 --> 00:38:17,599
What do you know?
You dont even know our names

451
00:38:17,599 --> 00:38:21,313
I'll tell you what i know ...a kid who wears
the same gymnastic sweat shirt 3 days a week....

452
00:38:21,314 --> 00:38:24,057
...isn't getting laid until he's 29
that's what i know..

453
00:38:24,058 --> 00:38:27,897
Sweat shirt was my dad's.
Thats all he left me.. When he left me

454
00:38:27,898 --> 00:38:30,511
There's a reason... he didn't pack it.

455
00:38:31,191 --> 00:38:32,749
Just saying.

456
00:38:32,750 --> 00:38:37,530
Welcome to the number one
New Year's Eve Party in the entire world.

457
00:38:37,531 --> 00:38:42,632
This is literally the biggest party ...
- Aren't you going out with the other nurses?

458
00:38:42,633 --> 00:38:44,550
I'm not a nurse.
459
00:38:44,832 --> 00:38:46,587
I thought you were a nurse.

460
00:38:46,588 --> 00:38:48,363
I am a teacher.

461
00:39:22,221 --> 00:39:24,930
Hey
Welcome back.

462
00:39:25,555 --> 00:39:29,687
Many of us are going out tonight
to see Period 5 play, Do you wanna come?

463
00:39:29,899 --> 00:39:32,270
Period 5?
- Yeah the teacher band.

464
00:39:33,512 --> 00:39:35,999
I already got shot on the face.

465
00:39:41,111 --> 00:39:45,104
So, are you guys coming to the palace tonight?
My band's gonna do few songs...

466
00:39:45,105 --> 00:39:50,036
You are in Period 5? - You're looking at the
new rhythm guitarist and backup vocalist.

467
00:39:50,037 --> 00:39:53,316
Should be fun.
- Should be amazing. Lynn you wanna come?

468
00:39:53,317 --> 00:39:55,296
Yes..yes

469
00:40:20,457 --> 00:40:24,751
Like you guys..
You should go talk to someone, Lynn.

470
00:40:24,752 --> 00:40:27,000
I'm fine ...here.

471
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:31,277
Come on Lynn, you need to loosen up and live a little.
When's the last time you had a good dicking?
472
00:40:31,278 --> 00:40:34,577
A good dicking?
- Go talk to those guys over there.

473
00:40:35,444 --> 00:40:38,001
With the cowboy hats?
- Yea.

474
00:40:38,744 --> 00:40:41,172
Come on.
- You come on...

475
00:40:41,173 --> 00:40:44,109
Go talk to them.
- What am i gonna talk about?

476
00:40:44,110 --> 00:40:46,056
It does'nt matter.

477
00:40:46,057 --> 00:40:50,492
You go... you start with one of em' and you start talking
to the other one... and then you go back to the first one

478
00:40:50,493 --> 00:40:54,785
but still be touching the other one
and then you just choose.. Text book.

479
00:40:54,786 --> 00:40:57,449
Yea, from the world's weirdest text book

480
00:40:57,500 --> 00:41:01,192
Lemme finish my drink.
- Now Lynn! -Second

481
00:41:01,193 --> 00:41:03,000
Now..Go!
- I like it here.

482
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:07,311
It is really fun over here.
- Lynn, get your ass over to those cowboys.

483
00:41:08,261 --> 00:41:12,169
Oooo..well..Glad i wore my fun underwear

484
00:41:18,104 --> 00:41:22,555
So, call me crazy, but this might be the
best Period 5 show of all time.

485
00:41:22,556 --> 00:41:25,000
What are you doing here, anyway?

486
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,333
I thought it was poetry slam night.

487
00:41:27,333 --> 00:41:31,111
I was gonna get drunk and mock them.
- Sounds fun, actually

488
00:41:31,111 --> 00:41:34,784
I'll let you know, next time i go.
- Not that fun.

489
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:39,111
Okay..just so you know..
That shit does not face me at all

490
00:41:39,111 --> 00:41:43,185
I'm like the fuckin Terminator dude.
I'm just gonna keep coming after you.

491
00:41:43,186 --> 00:41:45,067
Just so we're clear.

492
00:41:45,068 --> 00:41:46,760
Good luck with that.

493
00:41:47,403 --> 00:41:50,733
Oh Shit!
Check it out.

494
00:41:51,046 --> 00:41:53,963
I'll be damned.

495
00:41:53,964 --> 00:41:56,052
That shit worked!

496
00:41:56,053 --> 00:41:58,266
Super fast

497
00:42:04,333 --> 00:42:09,207
Wow, thank you guys for coming out
What a turnout, right? Umm...

498
00:42:09,364 --> 00:42:16,891
I just wanted to take this oppartunity to thank the
guys from Period 5 for letting me join the band and

499
00:42:16,892 --> 00:42:19,752
Also i have an original song

500
00:42:19,753 --> 00:42:25,183
It is my first cracket song writing so.. Be kind.

501
00:42:25,391 --> 00:42:29,669
And it goes out to someone very special.

502
00:42:31,638 --> 00:42:36,843
There was a girl i met sometime ago

503
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:44,000
Sympatheco
She helped me heal, she helped me grow

504
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:51,253
Sympatheco how do you know and
you know and again you just know

505
00:42:51,624 --> 00:42:53,520
Sympatheco

506
00:43:00,248 --> 00:43:04,000
Sympatheco
Exotico

507
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,593
Erotico

508
00:43:06,594 --> 00:43:10,132
You're my narcotic, Ohhh...

509
00:43:10,222 --> 00:43:16,786
Ask me how much i feel
I'll say ..a lot-a-co..

510
00:43:17,426 --> 00:43:22,029
We can never in the world be too much...
511
00:43:22,743 --> 00:43:25,072
...before I met you...

512
00:43:25,925 --> 00:43:27,399
fuck!

513
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:31,934
Is it me? I mean there's something wrong with me?
- I don't think so.

514
00:43:31,935 --> 00:43:35,176
I mean, sometimes you talk to people and...
- Thank you.

515
00:43:35,177 --> 00:43:40,197
Forget him, at least now you can stop
worrying about him and be the best teacher you can be..

516
00:43:40,198 --> 00:43:42,604
Who knows.. Maybe you'll win the bonus.

517
00:43:42,999 --> 00:43:45,311
What bonus?
- For the state test

518
00:43:45,312 --> 00:43:50,607
Which ever teacher has the highest scoring class
gets a bonus. Amy wins every year.

519
00:43:50,608 --> 00:43:53,591
How much?
- $5700.

520
00:43:54,222 --> 00:43:58,139
Son of a bitch... 5700.
Yea..Goddamn it! Lynn.

521
00:43:58,409 --> 00:44:00,355
You never tell me anything
- Yea..

522
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:10,581
Come on.
C'mon c'mon c'mon...

523
00:44:11,011 --> 00:44:13,862
Let's go, We had a lot to go over.
Everybody sitdown, come on..

524
00:44:14,321 --> 00:44:19,455
Where is the TV? - Now everybody open
your "To kill a mockingbird" to page 1.

525
00:44:21,131 --> 00:44:22,715
Good, now..

526
00:44:22,716 --> 00:44:27,471
Who can tell me why Jem cries when the hole
in the tree is filled with cement?

527
00:44:27,472 --> 00:44:28,989
Because he's a crybaby?

528
00:44:30,227 --> 00:44:31,476
Get out!

529
00:44:35,401 --> 00:44:37,552
We're here to learn

530
00:44:37,914 --> 00:44:40,395
Anybody else have a problem with that?

531
00:44:41,223 --> 00:44:44,049
Good
Now who has the answer to my question?

532
00:44:45,562 --> 00:44:48,097
Nobody's read this book?

533
00:44:48,333 --> 00:44:52,107
It's on the syllabus.
- Well..You never asssign it to us.

534
00:44:52,108 --> 00:44:53,907
Well now..
I am

535
00:44:53,908 --> 00:44:56,215
And we have a quiz tomorrow.
- What?!

536
00:44:56,216 --> 00:44:58,253
On the first 100 pages.

537
00:45:01,222 --> 00:45:05,000
You can't do that
I have band and jazz band tonight

538
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,333
We haven't had
homework all year

539
00:45:07,334 --> 00:45:08,990
o

540
00:45:09,418 --> 00:45:12,374
Things are about to change around here.

541
00:45:12,375 --> 00:45:15,000
Recess is over.

542
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,541
Because bird symbolize freedom?

543
00:45:18,111 --> 00:45:19,888
Good.
Good okay..

544
00:45:19,888 --> 00:45:22,675
Is anyone have anything to add
to what that girl just said?

545
00:45:25,154 --> 00:45:29,371
So, what are the limitations of having
Scott as the narrator?

546
00:45:30,286 --> 00:45:31,882
You, Chapz.

547
00:45:31,883 --> 00:45:34,888
Because he ...
- EEEH! 549 00:45:36,228 --> 00:45:38,197 Okay go..

548
00:45:44,869 --> 00:45:48,050
Don't flinch... seriously..
You and you.. Hold his arms down

549
00:45:49,483 --> 00:45:51,838
Next question.

550
00:45:51,872 --> 00:45:57,214
Because Atticus is always the voice of
reason and justice?

551
00:45:58,180 --> 00:46:00,592
Correct..here

552
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:02,903
Nothing in the face

553
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,252
Woooh!
Wait!

554
00:46:06,333 --> 00:46:10,245
Miss Halsey.. Really?
Wow!

555
00:46:11,002 --> 00:46:14,077
I never ...
- We're in the middle of a lesson.

556
00:46:14,111 --> 00:46:16,722
Twilight, look at me

557
00:46:16,723 --> 00:46:19,106
What do we talk about in class?

558
00:46:19,110 --> 00:46:23,567
Your weight should be evenly distributed
You have to throw off the back foot

559
00:46:23,567 --> 00:46:26,540
Don't throw at her
Throw through her

560
00:46:26,541 --> 00:46:28,660
Hit her!
Hit her!

561
00:46:28,661 --> 00:46:29,851
Nail her!

562
00:46:31,444 --> 00:46:36,500
This is so funny, cause I love
raisins and he hates rasins.

563
00:46:36,500 --> 00:46:38,630
Ying and Yang.

564
00:46:38,631 --> 00:46:41,333
You guys are so cute.
- So cute?

565
00:46:41,333 --> 00:46:43,222
It's like ..too cute almost

566
00:46:43,222 --> 00:46:46,136
Last week when we went for a drive

567
00:46:46,631 --> 00:46:51,599
We had no idea where we were going,
We left the maps at home ...

568
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:56,737
What! No way..
- It was fine. I have a GPS navy system.

569
00:46:56,800 --> 00:47:02,000
Oh, Thank God.
- And we discovered this new Ethiopian restaurant

570
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:05,604
They finally got their own cuisine
Progress..

571
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:14,565
Your shirt's misbuttoned
Her shirt is misbuttoned

572
00:47:15,222 --> 00:47:19,227
Thank you Amy, for pointing that out
- You're so welcome.

573
00:47:19,229 --> 00:47:24,222
Gosh! Its been such a mess this week.
You know, Just working myself to the bone

574
00:47:24,222 --> 00:47:27,111
Yeah, its been quite a change.
- Well i think it's great.

575
00:47:27,111 --> 00:47:33,000
I just love people who are so passionate
about what they do.. It's so inspirational

576
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:37,079
Thanks. Yea you know, some teachers
just sail by doing that bare minimum thing...

577
00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:40,074
I don't know, it's just not me..

578
00:47:40,111 --> 00:47:43,578
It's good to know there's still some
actual educators out there

579
00:47:45,333 --> 00:47:48,210
What else, Sasha?
- I think I've told you everything.

580
00:47:48,210 --> 00:47:52,222
Anyone know where Danny Morebox is?
- Any more movies in class?

581
00:47:52,222 --> 00:47:57,222
No, we're actually learning. Hey do you know
Animal Farm isn't even really about animals?

582
00:47:57,222 --> 00:48:01,222
Animal Farm?
Sasha, that's not even on the syllabus.

583
00:48:01,222 --> 00:48:03,900
Yeah, I know you're forgetting something.

584
00:48:05,523 --> 00:48:09,222
One extra credit on your diagram, want or not?
- I do I want it.

585
00:48:09,222 --> 00:48:12,001
Okay, okay think.
- Let me think.

586
00:48:13,002 --> 00:48:16,000
Well there was... Never mind.
- What?
587
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,878
Well it was okay..It was medicinal.

588
00:48:21,033 --> 00:48:25,728
And if she claims it's medicinal,
I would demand to see a prescription.

589
00:48:25,729 --> 00:48:27,515
That's what I would do if I were you, Wally.

590
00:48:27,516 --> 00:48:31,499
Do you have any proof other than what one student
thought she saw?

591
00:48:31,500 --> 00:48:37,152
Well this one student is in line to be editor
of The Daily Musket next year.

592
00:48:37,447 --> 00:48:39,719
She's got a lot to loose
going public with this

593
00:48:39,753 --> 00:48:44,406
If the Teacher's Union found out
that i was administering a drug test
to a teacher with this little proof...

594
00:48:44,407 --> 00:48:46,798
They would make my life a living hell, Amy..

595
00:48:46,799 --> 00:48:48,893
So, you're just gonna let her walk free?

596
00:48:50,008 --> 00:48:52,361
That's it!

597
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,417
Amy, Stop that
Stop it!

598
00:48:58,418 --> 00:48:59,655
Sorry.

599
00:48:59,656 --> 00:49:01,753
Sorry.
- Sit down.

600
00:49:03,262 --> 00:49:09,402
Amy, Do you see this beautiful
little glass dolphin figurine?

601
00:49:09,403 --> 00:49:11,016
Mmmm...
Look at it

602
00:49:11,759 --> 00:49:13,385
Yeah.
- Look at it.

603
00:49:13,386 --> 00:49:16,603
Looking at it!
- Elizabeth gave this to me.

604
00:49:17,056 --> 00:49:20,866
She is a thoughtful young woman
and she is teaching for all the right reasons.

605
00:49:21,025 --> 00:49:26,502
Wally! Can't you see? She is
manipulating you through the use of dolphins?

606
00:49:26,502 --> 00:49:31,258
No, what i see is that you are getting worked up
And what i would hate to see...

607
00:49:31,259 --> 00:49:34,945
....is for you to get overwhelmed...

608
00:49:35,547 --> 00:49:37,850
...like you did in 2008

609
00:49:38,622 --> 00:49:41,746
Gotcha! Thanks Wally,
for bringing that up.

610
00:49:43,144 --> 00:49:45,554
For i'm all about that.

611
00:49:47,991 --> 00:49:50,448
Do not do that with your mouth.

612
00:49:51,907 --> 00:49:53,437
Regular mouth.

613
00:49:58,957 --> 00:50:03,444
"Atticus Finch is a good lawyer because
he is a good person...

614
00:50:03,444 --> 00:50:05,346
...who's a lawyer."

615
00:50:07,321 --> 00:50:12,210
Stupid point, misspelled.

616
00:50:13,569 --> 00:50:16,328
"Stupider"

617
00:50:16,329 --> 00:50:19,607
Is this English?

618
00:50:24,288 --> 00:50:29,526
Are you fucking kidding me?

619
00:50:32,405 --> 00:50:35,718
Pathetic. This is why the Japs are overtaking us.

620
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:37,443
And believe me i don't mean you.

621
00:50:38,891 --> 00:50:41,225
But, we're working really hard.

622
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:45,320
You're not working hard enough.
I need results.

623
00:50:45,321 --> 00:50:47,079
Class dismissed.

624
00:50:55,165 --> 00:50:58,135
OFFICIAL PRACTICE TEST MANUAL

625
00:50:58,136 --> 00:50:59,853
I need that test!

626
00:51:07,333 --> 00:51:11,555
Good afternoon, Illinois standard student test
How may I direct your call?

627
00:51:11,555 --> 00:51:15,333
Hi, my name is Marjarie Goodman and
I'm calling from the Chicago Tribune

628
00:51:15,333 --> 00:51:20,929
Who could I speak to regarding the allegations
of racial bias on your standardised tests?

629
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,619
Please hold..

630
00:51:32,111 --> 00:51:34,064
Marjarie?

631
00:51:34,333 --> 00:51:36,322
You must be Carl?

632
00:51:36,333 --> 00:51:40,882
Thank you for meeting me on such short notice
- Of course. Sure..

633
00:51:41,117 --> 00:51:44,905
Did you find the boys okay?
Was it a good drive? - Great drive

634
00:51:44,999 --> 00:51:50,000
Listen Carl, I know that you are a very busy man
So, i'm just gonna get right down to it

635
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:55,000
I've been speaking to various....
ah..black... citizens... who

636
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:59,222
..alleged that your test are biased
towards white people and orientals.

637
00:51:59,222 --> 00:52:04,555
Okay..lemme tell you something right away
A: Orientals tests better ...

638
00:52:04,555 --> 00:52:10,038
B: Every couple of years we get these cockamamy
charges coming in from various parts of the state
639
00:52:10,039 --> 00:52:13,333
Lemme dat daa..
Usually here, the things that they call me

640
00:52:13,333 --> 00:52:18,000
Racist, faggotron, faggy Hitler, dick breath ...
Okay..?

641
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:23,111
But I am not racist. I voted for Obama,
you can quote me on that in your article

642
00:52:23,111 --> 00:52:25,020
You know what i think would help..Carl..?

643
00:52:25,021 --> 00:52:27,397
For me to see one of
this year's tests

644
00:52:27,397 --> 00:52:30,648
Oh! Sure, i can get you one easy
No problem

645
00:52:30,649 --> 00:52:32,269
Great... great!

646
00:52:32,270 --> 00:52:37,000
Umm..The day after the schools administers them,
I will shoot one right over to you.

647
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,684
I was hoping to see it sooner.
I'm on a bit of a deadline.

648
00:52:39,685 --> 00:52:45,405
No, no... that is absolutely classified Unless,
..unless you have one of these bad boys, right here

649
00:52:45,405 --> 00:52:50,625
Wow! You know Carl..
Enough business for one night, don't you think?

650
00:52:50,626 --> 00:52:55,312
Oh..oh tell me bout that.. - I think i'm gonna
have another drink before i hit the road
651
00:52:55,877 --> 00:53:00,590
..It's like the freedom and the wind in your hair
obviously the image... you don't wanna...

652
00:53:00,665 --> 00:53:04,111
But then there were others like..just..
Like hopeless or scary..so i..count me out

653
00:53:04,177 --> 00:53:07,880
But you seem like such a wild man Carl..

654
00:53:09,510 --> 00:53:12,421
What turns you on Carl?

655
00:53:13,454 --> 00:53:17,846
Eh..Everything.
- You wanna know what turns me on?

656
00:53:17,999 --> 00:53:19,444
Sex in an office.

657
00:53:19,670 --> 00:53:24,545
Getting fucked really hard against a wooden desk

658
00:53:25,402 --> 00:53:28,853
Mine's metal.
- Even better.

659
00:53:29,287 --> 00:53:31,866
And voila.
So..

660
00:53:34,828 --> 00:53:35,999
This is the desk.

661
00:53:37,555 --> 00:53:39,500
Do you have anything to drink?

662
00:53:39,778 --> 00:53:43,686
Uh Uhh! Yes i do!

663
00:53:44,788 --> 00:53:46,301
Voila.

664
00:53:46,302 --> 00:53:49,989
White wine in the office? Bad Boy...

665
00:53:49,990 --> 00:53:53,246
Do you have any music Carl?
- I have the Internet radio.

666
00:53:53,517 --> 00:53:56,572
I love Internet radio

667
00:53:57,149 --> 00:53:59,805
You.ve..come to.. The right place.

668
00:53:59,806 --> 00:54:01,543
Cause i have that

669
00:54:02,176 --> 00:54:04,944
See, I am not a wiz' at this computer here

670
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:12,439
Umm.. It's relatively new and Grace
who is ah.. Work with me on Mondays
and Wednesdays and Thursday and...

671
00:54:12,535 --> 00:54:18,290
I share her with Greg across the way
Greg across is actually the guy who got me into spinning

672
00:54:18,691 --> 00:54:20,381
Oh, there we go.

673
00:54:23,689 --> 00:54:26,000
Shall we toast?

674
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,923
To new friends
And new lovers

675
00:54:44,871 --> 00:54:48,386
I'm gonna take off my shoes, is that okay?
- Whatever man. I'm gonna go hit the ladies room.

676
00:54:48,387 --> 00:54:52,490
Okay..There's a handicapped one..which is way closer
use the handicapped one, its way closer

677
00:55:18,730 --> 00:55:21,635
I took off my shoes?
- Oh Carl...

678
00:55:22,042 --> 00:55:24,558
I wanna fuck you baaside desk

679
00:55:24,882 --> 00:55:26,208
I wanna fuck you against the desk

680
00:55:26,474 --> 00:55:30,151
Carl..I'm gonna need you to pass the fuck out

681
00:55:30,152 --> 00:55:35,657
Marji..I am going to rock your vagina

682
00:55:37,020 --> 00:55:39,334
Ohh..The wine is good

683
00:55:48,887 --> 00:55:51,646
Hello titties..

684
00:55:51,937 --> 00:55:54,011
ONE MONTH LATER

685
00:55:54,012 --> 00:55:58,111
If anyone has any information
regarding the missing Anne wig...

686
00:55:58,111 --> 00:56:01,000
...please..let me know ASAP

687
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:04,104
Come on, guys.
There's a wig missing

688
00:56:04,111 --> 00:56:10,799
Because if that wig isin't found, you can bet your
bottom dollar the sun will not come out tomorrow.

689
00:56:11,333 --> 00:56:13,222
Back to you, Wally.

690
00:56:13,222 --> 00:56:17,555
Ahh..Okay thank you, Amy. I'm sure everybody
wants to get home so i'm gonna be quick
691
00:56:17,555 --> 00:56:20,574
Four scores, seven years ago.

692
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:27,222
That's a ..Goddamn it! Sandy..

693
00:56:27,223 --> 00:56:29,607
Sandy's so funny.

694
00:56:31,168 --> 00:56:35,000
Huh... I have here
I have here the results of the state exam

695
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:39,444
And I'm happy to announce that the..
John Adams Middle School, that's us ...

696
00:56:39,444 --> 00:56:42,727
Scored in the top 5 %
of the whole state

697
00:56:45,220 --> 00:56:48,222
Nice..
Good job, guys..

698
00:56:48,222 --> 00:56:51,444
And i wanna single out
i wanna single out one of our own

699
00:56:51,444 --> 00:56:54,111
Who show that with hard work and dedication ...

700
00:56:54,111 --> 00:56:57,377
One teacher can make a difference.

701
00:56:57,555 --> 00:57:01,777
And this teacher is now
$5700 richer

702
00:57:01,777 --> 00:57:05,515
With the highest scores in cookcounty
That's the whole county

703
00:57:05,881 --> 00:57:09,735
I want everyone to give a big round of applause
704
00:57:09,736 --> 00:57:11,878
To Elizabeth Halsey.

705
00:57:17,308 --> 00:57:20,439
Well done
- Thank you.

706
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,679
Congratulations, Miss. Halsey.

707
00:57:26,756 --> 00:57:28,625
Thanks dude.

708
00:57:29,548 --> 00:57:34,233
Well if it isn't Professor Smarty pants?
- Don't mess with me, I'm a lot stronger than I look.

709
00:57:35,500 --> 00:57:39,661
Elizabeth, i am so proud of you.

710
00:57:39,668 --> 00:57:45,951
I mean if someone told me at the beginning of the year
that you..'you'... will get the bonus ...

711
00:57:45,952 --> 00:57:52,000
Won't have had to say to whom ever
it was "No way".."Absolutely not" and..

712
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:55,000
Now, here we are..

713
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:57,370
We should go out and celebrate.
Your treat?

714
00:57:57,371 --> 00:58:04,172
Yea, unfortunately Elizabeth, Scott and I have to go
over the itenerary for the Springfield trip

715
00:58:04,223 --> 00:58:07,638
We're the chaperones
we're going together.

716
00:58:07,689 --> 00:58:10,819
We're dating..so..
It'll also be romantic.
717
00:58:10,852 --> 00:58:16,213
Have fun.
- Yea, You're not seeing anyone now, right?

718
00:58:17,931 --> 00:58:21,348
Almost... done..

719
00:58:21,375 --> 00:58:25,999
Okay..so that's endorsed
And put the rest on these

720
00:58:26,382 --> 00:58:27,999
Just put it
- Alrighty

721
00:58:28,700 --> 00:58:31,306
Okay.

722
00:58:32,888 --> 00:58:34,520
"Ms. Squirrel says reading is fun"

723
00:58:52,503 --> 00:58:55,000
"Learning is Fun-tastic"

724
00:59:02,263 --> 00:59:04,455
Who did this?

725
00:59:04,555 --> 00:59:10,704
Aww... Come on.
Anyone wants extra sticker on their wall star board?

726
00:59:10,704 --> 00:59:15,391
What brings you here?
Mr. Apple.

727
00:59:18,481 --> 00:59:21,502
What was that, Mr. Apple?

728
00:59:22,081 --> 00:59:24,918
You want me to take a bite?

729
00:59:25,197 --> 00:59:27,726
Alrighty roo..

730
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:34,444
Elizabeth, I just want to thank you again
for stepping in today, you really saved us here

731
00:59:34,444 --> 00:59:37,656
No problem.
Is Amy gonna be okay?

732
00:59:37,657 --> 00:59:41,807
Yea, Amy's gonna be fine
- Well, let her know she's in my prayers

733
00:59:48,318 --> 00:59:51,557
Someone's calling my name.

734
00:59:52,095 --> 00:59:55,900
I dare you.
- I'm not afraid of your dare, Fabrigo

735
00:59:59,829 --> 01:00:02,055
That's really dangerous, Russell

736
01:00:02,123 --> 01:00:05,222
I'll call you from the hotel.
- Bye, Amy.

737
01:00:05,222 --> 01:00:08,554
Yea, she's sitting right next to me
- No

738
01:00:08,555 --> 01:00:11,437
Thanks for calling again

739
01:00:12,264 --> 01:00:16,338
Amy says "hi"
- Well she sure calls alot

740
01:00:16,339 --> 01:00:19,485
So, are you excited about your surgery?

741
01:00:19,555 --> 01:00:22,005
I've never been more excited
about anything

742
01:00:22,005 --> 01:00:25,055
It's a pretty inspiring message
to the kids
743
01:00:25,077 --> 01:00:28,000
We should never stop working on ourselves.

744
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:33,267
Like you, with your little boobs
or me experimenting with ethnic food.

745
01:01:13,095 --> 01:01:15,815
Gosh!
I never loose my keys.

746
01:01:16,994 --> 01:01:20,111
Such a dingaling

747
01:01:20,111 --> 01:01:23,329
What's wrong with your face?
- What is wrong with your face?

748
01:01:23,364 --> 01:01:26,075
Hey..I'm
Just trying to make conversation.

749
01:01:26,076 --> 01:01:30,077
We're all done
- Super, thanks a bunchames

750
01:01:38,663 --> 01:01:41,218
I knew it.

751
01:01:51,230 --> 01:01:56,671
Well that is definitely Marjarie, only with kind of
weird hair here In real life she's actually very pretty.

752
01:01:56,848 --> 01:02:02,687
She in some kind of trouble? - Marjarie? I think
you're the one who might be in some kind of trouble.

753
01:02:02,899 --> 01:02:06,872
Did you or did you not give her
a copy of the state test?

754
01:02:07,759 --> 01:02:11,984
No, no... no
absolutely not, no I..

755
01:02:11,985 --> 01:02:15,449
I did give her some quotes for her article

756
01:02:15,449 --> 01:02:20,124
What article? - Her..article for the Tribune.
She's a reporter there, right?

757
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:26,111
Test tampering?
At JAMS?

758
01:02:26,111 --> 01:02:29,812
This time I have a witness and
like I said Wally, she stole the Anne wig

759
01:02:29,813 --> 01:02:33,000
We're dealing with
a criminal mastermind

760
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:36,161
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news Wall..

761
01:02:36,211 --> 01:02:39,882
You know.. How much we all love her.

762
01:02:40,620 --> 01:02:43,242
Okay, well ..You know
I have to call the superintendor

763
01:02:43,243 --> 01:02:47,000
We're gonna have to cross check
her entire class's scores

764
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:49,195
This is a real shit sandwich!

765
01:02:49,865 --> 01:02:52,061
Course, you know what scares me the most, Wall?

766
01:02:52,062 --> 01:02:54,068
This is just what we know, right?

767
01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:58,243
Who knows what else she's capable of?

768
01:03:00,704 --> 01:03:02,501
So aweful

769
01:03:10,049 --> 01:03:11,706
Fruit Roll-Up?

770
01:03:11,707 --> 01:03:14,021
You know, when President Lincoln
abolish slavery ...

771
01:03:14,022 --> 01:03:17,579
It was not a popular opinion

772
01:03:17,611 --> 01:03:21,563
- Hmmm
- I just hate slavery so so much.

773
01:03:21,637 --> 01:03:24,233
Slavery's the worst

774
01:03:24,234 --> 01:03:27,890
If I could go back in time
and undo slavery? I would.

775
01:03:28,999 --> 01:03:30,657
I hate it.

776
01:03:30,658 --> 01:03:31,733
I hate it.

777
01:03:31,734 --> 01:03:36,906
Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt you guys, but...
I couldn't help it over hear your conversations

778
01:03:36,935 --> 01:03:38,659
Can I tell you guys what I hate?

779
01:03:38,660 --> 01:03:43,751
Sharks.
- Well sharks can tear families apart.

780
01:03:44,246 --> 01:03:47,348
But they're also so majestic.
- They are beautiful creatures.

781
01:03:47,382 --> 01:03:50,720
But they're also so ferocious
- So ferocious

782
01:03:50,937 --> 01:03:54,483
One of nature's
cruel joke i guess..

783
01:03:58,624 --> 01:04:01,171
Thank you, Elizabeth, for listening.

784
01:04:01,747 --> 01:04:05,661
Scott, I want you to know
You can talk to me about anything.

785
01:04:26,082 --> 01:04:29,369
Your jeans feels so good
against my jeans.

786
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:33,788
Totally
- Hey, your body feels so good.

787
01:04:33,789 --> 01:04:36,302
Oh, I need some water.

788
01:04:57,044 --> 01:05:01,936
Oh i'm dryin' the shit out of you
- Oh Dry Fuck the fuck outta me, Scott.

789
01:05:01,990 --> 01:05:05,753
Just stop talking.

790
01:05:06,333 --> 01:05:10,540
I'm close.
Don't move.

791
01:05:11,111 --> 01:05:15,222
Here i go. ..Almost.

792
01:05:15,326 --> 01:05:16,475
Wait for it.

793
01:05:18,476 --> 01:05:21,916
Really close.. Ready?
- Mmmm..Yea.

794
01:05:21,917 --> 01:05:23,153
Just stop talking

795
01:05:25,870 --> 01:05:29,587
Almost there.

796
01:05:36,923 --> 01:05:40,010
That was great
- More like amazing

797
01:05:40,513 --> 01:05:46,200
Well, i'm gonna get going
I don't want the kids to see me leaving your room - Yea

798
01:05:49,983 --> 01:05:52,349
You're so symphatico.

799
01:05:52,350 --> 01:05:56,455
Maybe next time
we can dry hump without our clothes on.

800
01:05:56,488 --> 01:05:59,949
I'm pretty sure I'd like that

801
01:06:07,409 --> 01:06:09,909
Even your forehead is sexy.

802
01:06:11,231 --> 01:06:13,628
Oh, time for bed

803
01:06:14,274 --> 01:06:18,088
All right then
- See you in the maniano

804
01:06:19,164 --> 01:06:23,861
Elizabeth, don't let the bed bugs bite

805
01:06:33,803 --> 01:06:37,529
I was just going over some stuff for tomorrow.

806
01:06:37,667 --> 01:06:39,757
Yeah, cool..

807
01:06:40,444 --> 01:06:43,407
I'm serious.
- Okay
808
01:06:44,295 --> 01:06:46,635
Cheers.

809
01:06:48,748 --> 01:06:53,324
They forgot to re-stuffed my minibar.
How's yours lookin'?

810
01:06:53,420 --> 01:06:57,652
You know, i'm super tired
I'm just getin' in the sack

811
01:06:57,821 --> 01:07:02,223
I'll see you tomorrow then
- Good night

812
01:07:03,701 --> 01:07:07,787
And 17.

813
01:07:07,870 --> 01:07:15,340
Oh, hold on. Shelly ...Ooo
Shelly, someone's got a message.

814
01:07:16,887 --> 01:07:22,475
Ah! Dry humpin' the shit out of you
- Yeah, Dry Fuck the fuck outta me, Scott.

815
01:07:24,230 --> 01:07:27,583
I wasn't always president.
Oh! No!

816
01:07:27,584 --> 01:07:32,100
I had many jobs when I
lived here in New Salem

817
01:07:32,100 --> 01:07:36,557
My fave..My favorite job was,
'Splitting rails'.

818
01:07:36,557 --> 01:07:40,399
Which is why they call me 'rail splitter'.

819
01:07:41,549 --> 01:07:44,645
Anybody know... anybody know
any of my other nick names?

820
01:07:44,704 --> 01:07:49,529
"Honest Abe".
- Yes, obviously. Honest Abe.

821
01:07:49,529 --> 01:07:51,774
That was the big one
Honest Abe

822
01:07:51,807 --> 01:07:55,201
They always called me that because
I said what was on my mind

823
01:07:55,377 --> 01:07:58,172
Even if it made me unpopular.

824
01:07:58,192 --> 01:08:05,248
Remember, a great man always has the courage
to say what is in his heart.

825
01:08:05,749 --> 01:08:07,546
Yea?

826
01:08:08,901 --> 01:08:15,395
I love Chase Rubin Rossy
- Great.

827
01:08:15,491 --> 01:08:18,690
Who would like to see Mary Tod churn butter?
Churn butter?

828
01:08:18,786 --> 01:08:22,634
I love you, Chase.
I wanna yell it from the mountain tops.

829
01:08:22,634 --> 01:08:28,442
And even though you pretty much stop talking
to me in fifth grade... I don't care

830
01:08:28,539 --> 01:08:31,338
I remember the Chase
that wrote me a card

831
01:08:31,338 --> 01:08:34,686
When my dad was overweight and
had to go to the hospital because of his heart

832
01:08:35,488 --> 01:08:38,670
And a year later, when he left my
mom and moved in with his trainer ...

833
01:08:38,671 --> 01:08:40,695
You wrote me another card.

834
01:08:40,753 --> 01:08:42,877
What happened to us?

835
01:08:42,878 --> 01:08:47,027
Remember, in the second grade when we
had a sleep over and you wet the bed?

836
01:08:47,123 --> 01:08:51,372
And you were so embarassed, and you made me
promise never to tell anyone?

837
01:08:51,830 --> 01:08:55,588
Well, I never have
and I never will

838
01:08:55,659 --> 01:08:59,462
So there it is
My heart honestly

839
01:08:59,982 --> 01:09:02,082
Don't let me leave
- Oh! Please don't

840
01:09:02,428 --> 01:09:06,051
Always
believe

841
01:09:06,726 --> 01:09:08,936
Gross..

842
01:09:08,969 --> 01:09:12,121
Buuhhr!
Loser.

843
01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:14,440
Guys, c'mon
settle down

844
01:09:14,441 --> 01:09:18,427
Okay..Let's see how Mary Tod's
doing with that butter
845
01:09:18,500 --> 01:09:21,555
Okay..That's enough.
We get it, you're crying

846
01:09:21,555 --> 01:09:23,403
She just laughed at me
and called me 'gross'

847
01:09:23,499 --> 01:09:27,862
Yeah! Did you hear your speech? Come on lets go back.
- No

848
01:09:27,958 --> 01:09:29,605
No, I'm not going back.
- Come on.

849
01:09:29,701 --> 01:09:32,457
Just leave me alone.

850
01:09:37,307 --> 01:09:39,798
Get your ass back here

851
01:09:48,029 --> 01:09:50,000
We done running?

852
01:09:50,377 --> 01:09:54,860
Ah? Everything okay in here?
- It's okay, I'm his teacher.

853
01:09:54,957 --> 01:09:56,973
Oh Okay
Take your time.

854
01:09:57,455 --> 01:09:59,445
She's never gonna like me, is she?

855
01:09:59,541 --> 01:10:02,440
Are we still on this?
- She's my everything

856
01:10:04,406 --> 01:10:11,114
Here is the deal man..I cannot keep sugar coating this
for you. This girl is never gonna be interested in you.

857
01:10:11,292 --> 01:10:18,011
Never. You clearly have a... rich
interior life with the poems and the whatever but..

858
01:10:18,107 --> 01:10:23,106
She wants a guy like Ian.. What's his face?
- Ian Mentelbaum? The rapper?

859
01:10:23,190 --> 01:10:26,026
He's an idiot.
- Yea, he's a fuckin' moron.

860
01:10:26,122 --> 01:10:27,663
But she doesn't care

861
01:10:27,664 --> 01:10:30,156
She's superficial and
her priorities are all fucked up

862
01:10:32,827 --> 01:10:36,692
She likes him because he's
hot and popular dude. You...

863
01:10:37,517 --> 01:10:40,439
...are sensitive.
- Yes, thank you

864
01:10:40,474 --> 01:10:42,876
It's not a compliment.

865
01:10:43,395 --> 01:10:45,538
You have some rough road ahead of you

866
01:10:45,572 --> 01:10:49,241
Seventh grade is not your moment.
- Yeah, eighth grade will be better.

867
01:10:49,337 --> 01:10:51,999
Probably not.
I think in college

868
01:10:52,213 --> 01:10:55,655
That's your window
be ready.

869
01:10:59,560 --> 01:11:02,340
..If I go back out there
everyone's gonna laugh at me.
870
01:11:10,093 --> 01:11:12,565
Maybe this will help.
- What are you doing?

871
01:11:12,661 --> 01:11:16,192
I'm giving you a gift.
Oh wow..

872
01:11:16,610 --> 01:11:19,980
We are gonna change the new cycle

873
01:11:20,745 --> 01:11:22,900
Trust me on this.

874
01:11:25,551 --> 01:11:27,196
I thought it would be heavier.

875
01:11:27,197 --> 01:11:32,067
Don't be weird, and take this off
never fucking wear it again, what are u, crazy?

876
01:11:36,143 --> 01:11:39,581
Everything okay with Garrett?
- No, it's not

877
01:11:39,673 --> 01:11:44,364
I found him hooking up with an eighth-grader
from another school. She was jerking him off

878
01:11:44,461 --> 01:11:49,819
Yea, I'm gonna give him detention when we get back
- That's probably a good idea.

879
01:11:49,921 --> 01:11:52,615
Garrett Portman, I was a kid from
an old boys school.

880
01:11:52,712 --> 01:11:56,004
Yea, and he was wearing this
- What?

881
01:11:56,738 --> 01:12:00,470
Awesome
- It's real..

882
01:12:02,625 --> 01:12:07,177
It's a nice thing you did.
- I don't know what you're talking about?

883
01:12:07,274 --> 01:12:11,902
Really? Cause i couldn't help but
notice that you're not wearing a bra

884
01:12:11,924 --> 01:12:14,921
And those...
Those kids are there playing with it

885
01:12:15,909 --> 01:12:20,391
Much people don't wear bras.
- Definitely. Much teachers.

886
01:12:20,471 --> 01:12:24,000
Well if you must know, i was helping
a student through a tough time

887
01:12:24,145 --> 01:12:26,407
I'm going through such a tough time.

888
01:12:26,504 --> 01:12:30,627
Can I have your panties?
- I'm not wearing any..

889
01:12:39,769 --> 01:12:43,148
Amy, what are you doing here?
- Scott, talk to the hand.

890
01:12:43,928 --> 01:12:46,587
Amy?
- I know ...

891
01:12:46,654 --> 01:12:49,247
Ev-ery-thing.

892
01:12:49,248 --> 01:12:51,566
Carl Halabi.
The state test.

893
01:12:51,567 --> 01:12:54,321
The blating disregard for the school syllabus

894
01:12:54,322 --> 01:12:57,949
And lets not forget..
The sleeping with my boyfriend
895
01:12:59,246 --> 01:13:01,844
Scott, your phone accidentally
called me last night

896
01:13:02,485 --> 01:13:06,016
I can't believe you
let her take advantage of you like that

897
01:13:06,698 --> 01:13:12,649
You are too trusting
- I am. I didn't know what was happening

898
01:13:12,744 --> 01:13:16,066
I hope you haven't spent that bonus check
on anything because you're about to give it back

899
01:13:16,066 --> 01:13:20,568
And then some...
jail time..Jail time!

900
01:13:21,466 --> 01:13:26,996
Did you ever think that maybe ... - Save it doll face
you can explain it all tomorrow to the principal

901
01:13:26,999 --> 01:13:28,143
And the superintendent.

902
01:13:28,144 --> 01:13:33,970
When you got your meeting with the principal
and the superintendent tomorrow.. At the meeting ...

903
01:13:34,242 --> 01:13:36,371

904
01:13:44,394 --> 01:13:48,621
I need you to go to this guy's office
and scare the shit out of him

905
01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:50,698
Tell me my mission again

906
01:13:50,794 --> 01:13:55,257
Hand him the envelope.
- I'm gonna need a couple bucks for gas

907
01:13:58,595 --> 01:14:01,601
And a couple bucks for snacks

908
01:14:24,748 --> 01:14:28,046
Oh my God!
Sir?

909
01:14:28,284 --> 01:14:31,058
Oh my God, are you okay?
- I got fucked up my knee.

910
01:14:31,443 --> 01:14:34,356
Easy
Easy does it, easy...

911
01:14:35,416 --> 01:14:38,095
You need an ambulance?
- Ambulance is not necessary.

912
01:14:38,187 --> 01:14:41,550
I walking on - Walking on is number
1 worst thing you should probably do

913
01:14:43,945 --> 01:14:45,731
Please don't touch my mirror.

914
01:14:45,829 --> 01:14:50,755
Please sir? What the ff? What the fuck, who does that?
- I'm a friend of Marjorie's

915
01:14:52,328 --> 01:14:55,288
Oh! Friend of Marjorie?
Well get then... Fuck you man

916
01:14:55,926 --> 01:15:00,000
Huh fuck you..fuck... You like that?
- Stop kicking it..You stop fucking kicking it

917
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:04,845
Fuck your scooter and fuck Marjorie. She drugged
me and she stole from me.. Then she's going down

918
01:15:04,942 --> 01:15:07,642
Let me think.

919
01:15:11,324 --> 01:15:16,930
Take it.
And open up..open up

920
01:15:18,191 --> 01:15:24,195
Ya, not bad... for a camera phone Huh?
You can keep those too -Fuck!

921
01:15:25,024 --> 01:15:28,888
And i was never here.
You hear me? -Fuck

922
01:15:31,603 --> 01:15:33,641
Don't... Stop fucking with my car.

923
01:15:38,492 --> 01:15:41,092
They're ready for you.

924
01:15:42,007 --> 01:15:47,614
Learning is fun-tastic.
- What did you say to me?

925
01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:50,792
Desk?

926
01:15:52,449 --> 01:15:57,488
Yea, I forgot that was there.
Such a dick sometimes

927
01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:05,132
This is very very bad, Elizabeth
- Incredibly very bad, Elizabeth

928
01:16:05,460 --> 01:16:07,674
..and observe it
Amy, you said you wouldn't speak

929
01:16:09,030 --> 01:16:12,102
Bring him in

930
01:16:17,247 --> 01:16:21,338
Mr. Halabi, thank you for your time.
- Most welcome.

931
01:16:21,347 --> 01:16:28,668
I guess i should begin by saying that my
statement from earlier in the week was not true

932
01:16:29,718 --> 01:16:32,180
What part of it, exactly?

933
01:16:32,245 --> 01:16:35,260
All of it..
Pretty much

934
01:16:35,977 --> 01:16:37,674
I've never seen this woman before in my life

935
01:16:37,770 --> 01:16:43,148
Baloney
- You seem..very certain a couple of days ago?

936
01:16:43,154 --> 01:16:47,583
I did, because ...umm...

937
01:16:48,641 --> 01:16:50,647
I'm a casual drug user

938
01:16:50,745 --> 01:16:54,500
That's my thing, and everybody
knows it. So..

939
01:16:54,501 --> 01:16:59,815
That explains me, making
absolutely no sense

940
01:17:01,459 --> 01:17:03,293
Thank you.

941
01:17:03,391 --> 01:17:06,906
You realise it..if we found out you're lying,
You're gonna lose your job.

942
01:17:06,907 --> 01:17:08,070
Plus jail time

943
01:17:08,166 --> 01:17:15,116
Yes i understand. I just don't want to see
an innocent teacher get hurt

944
01:17:15,808 --> 01:17:21,013
Thank you, sir.
- I don't want to see anybody get hurt

945
01:17:29,560 --> 01:17:34,550
What the hell was that?
- So, there you go. I guess that explains everything

946
01:17:34,550 --> 01:17:37,184
Retest!
Retest! Retest!

947
01:17:37,279 --> 01:17:41,011
Damn it! Squirrel.. I am not going
to have a repeat of 2008!

948
01:17:41,015 --> 01:17:43,778
Sit your ass down!

949
01:17:44,583 --> 01:17:46,500
A retest on? C'mon

950
01:17:46,500 --> 01:17:48,522
Do we really wanna tell our
young people ...

951
01:17:48,522 --> 01:17:49,923
...that if they study, sacrifice ...

952
01:17:49,924 --> 01:17:52,739
...and achieve the highest scores
in the state...

953
01:17:52,739 --> 01:17:56,310
...that they're rewarded
with suspicion?

954
01:17:57,311 --> 01:17:59,207
I don't!

955
01:17:59,207 --> 01:18:01,992
I find these kind of accusations troubling

956
01:18:01,993 --> 01:18:05,687
And quite frankly, reckless.

957
01:18:06,000 --> 01:18:07,795
I worked my ass off for this school.

958
01:18:07,796 --> 01:18:12,668
And I know I am not perfect.
But show me the perfect teacher.

959
01:18:12,711 --> 01:18:14,283
You can't.

960
01:18:14,283 --> 01:18:19,442
There are even teachers in
this very school who use drugs.

961
01:18:19,510 --> 01:18:24,784
They do, they do use drugs
- They do -They do -They do

962
01:18:24,836 --> 01:18:30,301
Wally, do you remember how I told you,
there are teachers here who use and abuse drugs?

963
01:18:30,313 --> 01:18:34,808
God damn it!
And I'm hearing about this now?

964
01:18:38,477 --> 01:18:40,142
Where is it Axle?
Where's it boy?

965
01:18:40,239 --> 01:18:44,038
No, no, no that's my class.
Axle's barking at the wrong tree there

966
01:18:44,412 --> 01:18:49,054
Ma'am! Please don't touch the dog.
- Your dog is mistaken

967
01:18:49,499 --> 01:18:54,087
We've got desk..
- He's not gonna find anything in here.

968
01:18:59,071 --> 01:19:01,989
Clean!
- Haa! I told you

969
01:19:02,311 --> 01:19:04,943
Maybe there's a false bottom.

970
01:19:14,884 --> 01:19:20,482
That is not mine.
This... ss thiszzz..This isin't even my desk, it's hers!

971
01:19:20,516 --> 01:19:24,362
Don't worry Amy..
We'll get you the help you need.

972
01:19:26,456 --> 01:19:27,652
You monster!

973
01:19:27,689 --> 01:19:34,000
Wow wooo woo wow Amy.... Calm down, Amy.
- Fucking damn it! What the fuck!?

974
01:19:34,135 --> 01:19:38,110
I stole her desk.
You can check my urine.

975
01:19:38,259 --> 01:19:41,000
Check it
Check my urine.

976
01:19:42,056 --> 01:19:45,197
Well its been another great year
here at JAMS

977
01:19:46,035 --> 01:19:49,589
With summer round the corner, it's time to say
goodbye not only to another school year..

978
01:19:49,590 --> 01:19:52,354
...but also to one of our own.

979
01:19:53,077 --> 01:19:59,111
Amy Squirrel, after six short years,
Amy is transferring out of the district

980
01:19:59,113 --> 01:20:01,660
Speech, speech
- Well..

981
01:20:02,128 --> 01:20:06,659
Aaah! Wally thank you for those kind words,
and thank you all

982
01:20:06,693 --> 01:20:11,328
My decision that i made myself to leave
was super difficult.
983
01:20:11,355 --> 01:20:16,919
But when the superintendent personally ask you to work
at one of the worst school in the state?

984
01:20:16,919 --> 01:20:18,648
Well... you say 'YES'

985
01:20:19,648 --> 01:20:25,670
Boy, i am looking forward to bringing
my brand of genie energy..

986
01:20:25,670 --> 01:20:29,303
..To those under priviledge students
at Malcolm X high school.

987
01:20:31,272 --> 01:20:33,084
Thank you.

988
01:20:33,296 --> 01:20:40,648
Hey, Elizabeth..Listen, since Amy's transferring,
maybe the two of us can start over

989
01:20:45,307 --> 01:20:51,130
Oh, hey there..Scott Delacorte. And you are?
- Leaving.

990
01:21:06,566 --> 01:21:11,200
- Elizabeth?
- Here.

991
01:21:11,222 --> 01:21:15,049
- Sign my yearbook.
- Hold my ball sack

992
01:21:16,388 --> 01:21:20,005
I'll write my number down
just in case you need a lift...

993
01:21:20,048 --> 01:21:21,711
..after the surgery.

994
01:21:21,809 --> 01:21:24,854
For second, an extra set of hands to make sure
the implants are settling properly

995
01:21:24,888 --> 01:21:26,007
Thanks

996
01:21:26,273 --> 01:21:30,008
Hey, aah!..You're not gonna teach
again next year, are you?

997
01:21:30,008 --> 01:21:32,235
I don't know..
It's the only thing i'm good at

998
01:21:32,236 --> 01:21:37,329
I'm just saying maybe.. To consider doing
something else ... like anything else

999
01:21:37,374 --> 01:21:40,751
Like any othe job ... in the entire world

1000
01:21:41,854 --> 01:21:47,137
You know? The two of us...
It's never gonna happen.

1001
01:21:47,971 --> 01:21:50,405
- Clearly?
- How would that even work?

1002
01:21:50,406 --> 01:21:55,115
Where do you even live? In some weird
apartment with some creepy roommate?

1003
01:21:55,115 --> 01:21:59,425
No,..My creepy roommate moved out.
So now its just..just me ..and the dogs

1004
01:21:59,516 --> 01:22:01,313
How many dogs do you have?
- Four.

1005
01:22:01,313 --> 01:22:04,417
Four dogs?
- Four Dobermans

1006
01:22:04,427 --> 01:22:06,458
Any family money?
- Yea, you bet?

1007
01:22:06,459 --> 01:22:11,898
We're talking like three figures..
Almost 700 bucks

1008
01:22:12,109 --> 01:22:15,402
So, basically, if i was gonna go out with you,
I would be making the conscious choice...

1009
01:22:15,402 --> 01:22:19,204
..to be dating a Gym Teacher
who lives in a shack with four dogs?

1010
01:22:19,241 --> 01:22:24,051
I prefer to think of it as two people
with amazing bodies...

1011
01:22:24,089 --> 01:22:27,183
...sharing those bodies with each other

1012
01:22:27,196 --> 01:22:29,029
Giving each other the gift of these bodies

1013
01:22:31,078 --> 01:22:36,627
Anyway, actually none of these really matters
Umm... I sort of ..started seeing somebody

1014
01:22:39,911 --> 01:22:44,138
Really that's..Congratulations
I didn't..I didn't realise that so....

1015
01:22:46,238 --> 01:22:50,811
- Those stupid... so..
- I'm just fucking with you

1016
01:22:51,360 --> 01:22:54,275
Guess i deserve that one..?
- Yea, you must certainly did

1017
01:22:54,380 --> 01:22:58,822
I think it's about time you realize,
that the whole world's just...

1018
01:23:06,417 --> 01:23:10,083
See you around Gym teacher.

1019
01:23:18,055 --> 01:23:23,327
Hey..
Let's do that again.
1020
01:23:28,100 --> 01:23:31,632
THREE MONTHS LATER.

1021
01:23:40,548 --> 01:23:43,969
Hey, Elizabeth.
- Hey Lynn, how was your summer?

1022
01:23:43,999 --> 01:23:47,412
Oh it was great. I went to the zoo
almost every weekend

1023
01:23:47,413 --> 01:23:49,021
Wow! Sounds great.

1024
01:23:49,132 --> 01:23:52,370
Oh!..You didn't get your..
Your titties..?

1025
01:23:52,466 --> 01:23:55,125
Yea..i thought about it, you know
Cause i don't even need them.

1026
01:23:55,208 --> 01:24:00,000
Plus they're really expensive, you know..per tit
- Yea, and you got to get two of them

1027
01:24:01,723 --> 01:24:04,780
And I met a guy.
- Oh! Tell me everything.

1028
01:24:04,880 --> 01:24:08,516
Did you find your Prince Charming?

1029
01:24:08,747 --> 01:24:12,600
Something like that

1030
01:24:12,692 --> 01:24:16,488
Hey, you wanna grab lunch later?
- Oh! Oh sure, yea, my treat.

1031
01:24:16,585 --> 01:24:19,123
Oh! You got it last time.
We'll split it. -Oh! Okay yeah

1032
01:24:23,466 --> 01:24:27,949
Hey, you in the cape
You're up first. Let's go

1033
01:24:36,111 --> 01:24:39,897
{{Movie Corner rules}}
Ava hmuhnawm em!

1034
01:24:39,993 --> 01:24:41,471
Mc Mc Mc