Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Hey everyone, I’m Sophilia Lark-Woodbury and this is episode 25 of the S.O.S. podcast on
Monday May 7th 2018. Last week we dove into ways to exude positivity in our daily lives on our
way to becoming the best version of ourselves. Today, we are going to focus on a very
important area that many of us have struggled with at some time or another in our lives, and
that is How to stop caring about what other people think when it comes to you and your child.
Do you constantly worry about how people will look at you or what they will say or think
I know the feeling, and that was precisely the reason I became a hermit and isolated
I felt that no one wanted anything to do with me and my child anyway, so I just figured
it’d be best to suffer alone and see if I could make it through somehow.
You endure the stares, the judgmental attitudes, and even rude comments that people
think they have a right to throw your way just because something about you and your
Instead of asking if they can assist in some way, people either ignore you or look at you
as if they want to punish you for allowing your child to “act like that in public.”
wondered, “Why do people have to respond so negatively? Why can’t they see human
first? Why can’t they see what’s happening as an opportunity to be a good citizen and
All those questions constantly ran through my mind, and as I would later discover, there
really were no definite answers. I tried to make meaning out of people’s responses, but
the truth is that I didn’t really know, and I frankly got tired of guessing.
I stopped giving a damn about what people thought. I realized that I was giving people
My son could not help that he had a disability that influenced sensory, emotional,
communication, and behavioral challenges, and I was not about to sit up there one
And I certainly wasn’t going to allow other people to make me feel like I was inadequate
or a bad parent.
So, it was about me getting my mind right. Because when you have the mental clarity
and stability to circumvent the noise from the outside world, then you are able to
effectively navigate crises, buffer stresses, and deal with others in a way that empowers
So, what can you do to stop worrying about what other people think about you and your
child?
1. Focus on your child’s personal needs and seek out/mobilize the resources to get
those needs met. Don’t give time to things that have nothing to do with meeting
your child’s/family’s needs. The chatter from others, looks, grunts, laughs,
2. Connect with a supportive network that can champion your cause and help
parent. This can include attending parent support groups, community advocacy
3. If family and friends are interested in helping you, educate and train them on
how to best help your child. It is wonderful to have kin and close friend support,
especially with raising a special needs child. Some families shy away from helping
another family member with a special needs child because they don’t
understand the child’s diagnosis and what the parent needs in terms of support.
4. For those who offer nothing, they don’t matter to your cause. Now, these are
people who simply ignore you as if you or your child don’t exist. It’s really not
beneficial for you to try to figure our why. Just know that some people in the
world really do not care about special needs issues and they would just as soon
capabilities and personality, and accept that you cannot change another person’s
It is neither your job nor your problem to change others’ minds. If they are the ones
taking the time to have a negative response to your situation then that is their problem
These new ways to thinking and behavior have changed my life and empowered me to
focus on the things that matter and to always remember to See Human First. I hope
Next week, I’m going to turn my focus to the experience of fathers in parenting a child
on the autism spectrum. It is well known that dads’ voices are heard less than the voices
of moms when it comes to expressing their feelings and needs with parenting a child
with autism.
I’m going to discuss why dads are less heard and what we can do as moms and as a
community in general to support fathers. Believe it or not, dads have needs that are
I’m looking forward to diving into ways to support and understand dads’ experiences and
their coping abilities when it comes to parenting a child on the autism spectrum. I hope
you’ll join me as I do my best to lay out the challenges, successes, and needs of fathers who
are also a vital part of the autism community. I can’t wait to get back here in just a little bit.