Shakira Moreta

Multicultural Issues in Student Affairs

Dr. Lee Brossoit
Social Group Membership Paper

Growing up I always identified as a Puerto Rican girl, although many of my friends have

always been bothered by it because I am half Puerto Rican on my mother’s side and half

Dominican on my father’s side. I was only raised by my mother and her side of the family and

my father chose not to be a part of my life. It wasn’t up until the sixth grade that I began to admit

that my father was Dominican. Even though I lived with my mother, I was mainly raised by my

grandparents. I spent most my weekends, school vacations and holidays with them. Because I

was raised by my grandparents, my first language was Spanish. They knew enough English to

get by because they came to the United States from Puerto Rico in their late twenties, however at

home they spoke Spanish and that is still how I communicate with them. My mother is fluent in

English and Spanish because she came from Puerto Rico when she was about 6 or 7 years old,

however the rule at home while I was in elementary school was that I was only to speak Spanish

at home and English at school. My mom wanted to make sure that I did not lose my ability to

speak Spanish. Being that I speak Spanish, I have always identified as Hispanic, although I was

not aware of the reason why up until about three years ago. I learned that being Hispanic refers

to anyone that if from a Spanish speaking country. Latino or Latina on the other hand, is

someone from a country in Latin America. Being that my family is from Puerto Rico, I also

identify as a Latina. Growing up, I believed that Latino and Hispanic were interchangeable.

It wasn’t until my junior or senior year of college that I came to understand my racial

identity. My confusion about my race started when I was one second or third grade. I began

taking standardized tests such as the MCAS and prior to taking the test we had to fill out a page

for demographic information. I remember raising my hand at one point because I realized under
race the options were White, Black or African American, Asian, Pacific Islander and Other.

Below that question, I saw the question “Are you Hispanic/Latino?” I asked my teacher for help

because I was confused. As far as I knew, my race was Hispanic/Latino because I identified as

Puerto Rican. My teacher told me to pick whichever option I felt was right. From then on, I

always filled in the bubble that said Black or African American. I finally began to understand my

racial identity in a Cultural Psychology course I took some time during my third or fourth year at

UMass Lowell. It was in that class that I learned race was identified with physical characteristics

such as skin color, hair texture and facial features, whereas ethnicity refers to your family’s

cultural background.

Growing up in a community where the majority of the population is made up of

Hispanic/Latino immigrants, when someone says you’re American it means you’re White and

for that reason I never identified as American. Although now I know that being American means

you are a citizen of the United States, I do not identify as American because I grew up

associating the word American with being White. Up until my freshman year of college, when

asked what my nationality was, my response was always Puerto Rican. Just like I believed

Hispanic/Latino were to be used interchangeably, I believed race, ethnicity and nationality were

used interchangeably as well. Now when I am asked about my nationality, I make sure that my

response is “I am an American citizen.” The reason I emphasize citizen is because I do not want

to be associated with being White. Hispanic/Latino’s who weren’t born in the United States tend

to always bring up that I was born here therefore at times they refer to me as a “gringa” which

means white girl in Spanish. I always hated that. Interacting with my friends who were born in

Dominican Republic and having that conversation always upset me. As a proud Puerto Rican, I

actually get offended by it. Being called American makes me feel like my culture is being
pushed aside and my culture if everything I am; therefore, I feel like I am being pushed aside.

Another reason why it upsets me is because of the judgement I have received from White people

my entire life. Because some of my friends were born and raised in the Dominican Republic, that

judgement is new to them. However, they have a free country they can “tie” themselves to. My

country was taken from me long before it was mine. So, when someone associates me with the

people that did that (although I know it wasn’t the people in my life-time), it feels as if

everything I am is being erased.

That being said, my ethnic identity is what is most important to me. Being Puerto Rican

is something I take pride in. I love how my people find the bright side in every situation. I love

being able to fluently speak Spanish. I love our music, our ways of dancing and our pride. One

thing I have realized that I loved about being Puerto Rican my entire life, but realized it when I

was older, is the connection we continue to have with our roots. Our folkloric music is rooted in

our African heritage along with the dances that go along with it. There are also art pieces I

noticed around the island that are tied to the Taínos, who were the natives on the island prior to

the Spanish invasion.

Another sense of identity I believe to be important to my identity development is my

socioeconomic identity. My family wasn’t poor. I’d say we were lower-middle class, however

because my mother had support from my grandparents with raising me, I’d say we got by

financially. Compared to other kids I grew up with and friends I have made throughout my life, I

rich and spoiled. Living in one of the poorest cities in Massachusetts however, has negatively

influenced my self-perception. Lawrence being one of the poorest cities in Massachusetts, not

much is expected of the individuals that live there. Growing up I was very aware of the fact that

the street I grew up on was filled with drug dealers and abusers and gang members. But no one
really knew where I lived, so that’s not what bothered me so much. Which looking back at it, it

terrifies me now that I didn’t let that affect me. What damaged how I perceived myself was the

education I received, even though growing up all I heard was getting an education was going to

guarantee me a great life. From first through eighth grade I had no clue what it felt like to get a C

on my report card. All I got were A’s and B’s. Then high school happened. I realized things

weren’t as easy as they used to be. My eighth-grade teacher recommended me for Honors

Algebra and I could not keep up. I absolutely loved math up until then. From then on, each year

my math teachers got worse. They refused to use a different strategy to help us understand and I

was so frustrated that I never bothered to open the book and attempt to teach myself.

Where I really began to feel affected by my education was my first day of my

undergraduate career at UMass Lowell. I went from classrooms where everyone looked like me

and came from similar cultural backgrounds, to being one of about three minorities in each of my

classes during all four years. I hated it. I never felt so stupid and disadvantaged up until then. I

thought maybe because most of my classes were mostly filled with women, I’d be okay. Not at

all. I received the same scared and disturbed looks I was used to getting from White people,

except now it happened throughout a majority of my day for four years. What I hated the most

was the first day of class each semester. Introductions were the worst. “Your name. Where

you’re from. What high school you went to and your major.” All I had to say was Lawrence and

the disturbed looks never failed to appear. As if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, they were all

prepared for what was to come next. It was as if they knew what to expect from college. I had no

clue. It was rare if I ever raised my hand to make a comment, ask a question or even emailed my

professors to ask for help. I preferred to struggle and figure it out on my own then show them

exactly what they expected of me; an uneducated Hispanic/Latina. If there are any negative
expectations that were associated with my racial and ethnic identity, this is what I have accepted

and continue to struggle to let go.

Being a first-generation college student was no help either. Although my family offered

their support I felt like I was going through this experience on my own. I had to deal with

financial aid and filling out any forms necessary because no one else in my family attended

college. The support I received from my family felt more like pressure. They had no idea what it

college was like, but they were proud simply because the first daughter, first granddaughter and

first niece was in college. Trying to please them made making myself happy so much harder.

My gender, sexual orientation, ability and religious identities are some of my identities

which are considered to be dominant identities. I identify as a straight, Catholic female. I wasn’t

brought up in a religious household, but my family has always identified as Catholic. I do believe

in God and pray every night before I go to sleep, but I wasn’t brought up going to church every

Sunday and I didn’t start participating in Lent until my freshman year of college. I take part in it

as my own personal connection with God, not necessarily because of my religious beliefs.

Although it is one of my identities that I think about the least, identifying as “able” is an

advantage. Because of my ability, there are certain opportunities that are available to me that

may not be available to people who identify as having a disability.

Jones and McEwen (2000) presented a model of multiple dimensions of identity. In Jones

and McEwen’s model, your “core” consists of your personal attributes, characteristics and

personal identity (Jones & McEwen, 2000). The context that influences your core consists of

family background, sociocultural conditions, current experiences and career decisions and life

planning (Jones & McEwen, 2000). Context includes sexual orientation, gender, race, culture,

class and religion (Jones & McEwen, 2000).

 Harro’s Cycle of Socialization of socialization (2000) is similar Jones and McEwen’s

model of multiple dimensions of identity. There are multiple factors which influence your

“core.” In Harro’s cycle of socialization (2000), your core is fear, ignorance and insecurity.

There are seven factors which influence your core; the beginning, first socialization, institutional

and cultural socialization, enforcements, results, direction for change and actions. In the

beginning stage, we are born into a world which already had biases, stereotypes, prejudices,

history, habit and tradition, in place (Harro, 2000). During the first socialization stage in Harro’s

cycle of socialization (2000) we are taught by our parents, families, teachers and other people in

our lives, about the expectations, norms, values, roles, rules and ways to be. Referring back to

the identities I stated I self-identify with, I see that my mom and grandparents instilled their

values, rules and model of ways to be on me. I was taught to value who I am ethnically, as well

as to value honesty, education and family. I was also taught to treat others the way I would like

to be treated and to always stand up for myself. These lessons and values were reinforced during

the institutional and cultural socialization stage as well as other cultural factors. For example, my

grandmother, mom and aunt love listening to salsa music. I heard it everywhere I went. On the

weekends, it would be my alarm clock. I’d wake up to my mom or grandma cleaning with salsa

music really loud and I’d be forced to dance along, which I appreciate. It’s my favorite music to

dance to. My mom also reinforced speaking Spanish at home. I believe until I was in third grade,

I was allowed to only speak Spanish at home. I didn’t understand it at the time, but speaking

Spanish fluently, is one of the abilities I have that I value the most and I plan on having the same

rule in my house whenever I decide to have children. Enforcing some of these cultural values

could lead to discrimination (Harro, 2000). The results of these enforcements lead to anger,

dehumanization, guilt, stress, self-hatred, violence, crime or internalization of patterns of power

(Harro, 2000). Once you experience these feelings, you can head in the direction for change and

then take action (Harro, 2000).

After breaking down the different identities I self-identify with, I see my life in Harro’s

cycle of socialization. Although I am very proud of my racial and ethnic identities, there are still

times where external perceptions lead me to internalize my insecurities, fear and the confusion

caused by my identity. Some of my identities such as my ethnic, racial and gender identities

dictate how I act. I view context as how external influences contribute to my sense of identity.

There are certain stereotypes pushed on me from external influences such as society, that I try to

avoid proving are try. For example, I made it a point to make sure that even though I felt

discouraged during my undergraduate experiences, I was going to get my bachelor’s degree

because it was not what was expected of a Hispanic/LatinX woman. What was expected what

that I drop out of high school and become a teenaged parent.

I do fear that part of my internalized feelings regarding the external perceptions of most

of my identities will influence my career. It will influence my career positively because it

motivates me to want to help students who share similar experiences as me. However, I think my

identity may have a negative influence on my career when it comes to collaborating with faculty

and other staff members. Being in the same field doesn’t necessarily mean that my colleagues

and I will share the same values. I also think being a racial minority will put me at a

disadvantage because the student affairs field is predominantly White.

My socioeconomic, racial and ethnic identities have influenced my decision to pursue a

career in student affairs. My reason for wanting to become a student affairs professional is to

support students like myself during their college experience. Finding the support that I needed in

college was difficult for me, since I was unaware of what resources were available to me. I hope
to use my own experiences with my identity, the positive and the negative to create a welcoming

environment in which students will feel comfortable enough to seek my help.