Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Tollefson
preached January 25, 2015 @ the UU Society of River Falls
revised 1/29/15
Reading #1 The Shadow Knows
Who knows what evil (and good) lurks within the human heart?
The Shadow knows.
To confront a person with their own shadow is to show them their own light.*
Light that wants to shine needs darkness.*
Without dark skies, how could we see the stars?
Without the darkness of sleep, where would we search for our dreams?
Wholeness for humans depends on our ability to own our own shadow.*
The shadow is the long black bag we drag behind us through life. **
The light which puts out our eyes is darkness to us.***
The sun is but a morning star.***
We do not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,
but by making the darkness conscious.*
_______________________________________________________
* = C.G. Jung ** = Robert Bly *** = Thoreau
I. Two Shadows Not One
There are two ideas of “Shadow” not just one and that duplicity leads to some
confusion. Shadow #1 is our dark, instinctive sometimes destructive sidethe
parts of ourselves that we fear and loathe and sometimes loan to others. This shadow is
often destructive. As Freud saw it, our unconscious is often driven by two impulses:
the desire for pleasure/love/sex (eros) and the desire for power/aggression/dominance
(thanatos). Freud realized in the wake of World War I that this dark side of humanity
could be civilized but often at a high psychic cost. Repression, sublimation and
submission may lead to a loss of vitality, joy and originality. This dark Shadow is
closely allied to the famous opening of “The Shadow” radio series: “who knows what
evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows.” But notice that the character of
“the Shadow” actively fights against evil and injustice.
Shadow #2 includes all parts of our selves that we are “in the dark about”,
that we are not conscious of. This Shadow may be good, bad or indifferent. It
includes both instinctual and spiritual impulses that we may be tempted to loan to
others when they slip into the unconscious . The “dark shadow” is colored by a dark
cloud of fear, loathing, even hared. The “bright shadow” is often viewed through a
golden haze of admiration, idolization or envy. For Jung and many Jungians, the
Shadow is our “buried treasure” both good and evil, creative and destructive, but
usually outside the scope of our consciousness.
II. The Dark Freudian Shadow
Long before there were psychologists, the Dark Shadow has been known and
used by religions for centuries. Jesus warned his followers repeatedly: “Don't worry
about the dust moat in your neighbors eye,worry about the large beam in your own
eye.” [Matt. 7.3]. Jesus often asked his followers to be critical of ourselves, and to be
gracious, kind and forgiving of our neighbors.
The Hebrew ancestors of Jesus understood the “dark shadow” and turned this
tendency into an annual ritual. Each year a goat was selected and all the people of the
village would lay their hands on the goat and thereby transmit their sins to the goat,
then the goat would be thrown off a cliff and killed. Thus evil would be “cast out”,
exorcised for another year.
Out of this ancient ritual, comes a canny understanding of how the dark shadow
turns into shadow projections. It's called Scapegoating: we feel some negative quality
in ourselves, we begin the search for someone who has a little of that quality, we
project our own negative quality on someone else and then we attack them and
sometimes kill them, for carrying our own projections. For those with impossibly high
standards, it's an efficient way of preventing selfexamination.
Have you heard about American white racists,who slap themselves in the face
to prove that they have pure “white blood”? One of them [Mr. Craig Cobb, formerly
from Canada] was invited to a British Black tv show. He volunteered to take a genetic
test to prove that he was “pure white”. In a live interview, he was confronted with
the laboratory results showing that his ancestors were 14% African! After some pitiful
denials, he did something truly wonderful. Between his own protests, part of Mr. Craig
Cobb began to LAUGH outloud at himself and his racist folly. He was promptly offered
high fives and “hey bros” by his African American hosts! He turned them down say
“oil and water don't mix” but his Shadow and his Blood knew better.
When we reclaim our dark shadows we become more humane, we can let go of
some of our perfectionist fantasies. When we don't have to find someone else to blame
and punish we become less dangerous as family, friends and neighbors.
III. DARK SHADOWS in FAMILY LIFE
American psychologists like James Hillman and poets like Robert Bly have
reminded us that Shadows do not develop in a vacuum. They grow and thrive in the
petri dish we call “families”. Robert Bly says that our personal shadow is like a long
black bag that we drag behind us through life. When we are children, says Bly, we are
like a golden ball of energy and delight, mischief and magic. Kindness and cruelty.
But we grow up in families who have very strong opinions about who we are
SUPPOSED TO BE and NOT SUPPOSED TO BE.
Whenever a parent, teacher, preacher or powerful adult says NO! to a child and
shames them for being who they are, something happens that changes our lives for
years to come. We take out the Scissors of Punishing Perfectionism and SNIP/SNIP
we CUT OFF just a little part of ourselves The CUT OFF parts go into the long black
bag that we drag with us through life. By the time we're 40 (says Bly), there might be
more of us “in the bag” than out we lack energy, vitality, joy, spontaneity. We become
hollow, truncated men and women able to play a part in the games of our culture
but we just don't know who we really are.
Take a moment, if you choose, to remember some of part of yourself that was
labeled “unacceptable” or “bad” in your family of origin, your former school, church or
first marriage. What if that rejected part of yourself is a key to the next step
in your life's journey?
Sometimes what we now call a “Midlife Crisis”, “Divorce” or “Spiritual
Emergency” is actually a search in our Big Black Bag for parts of our selves, that are
now desperately needed for a more wholesome, humane and energetic life.
IV. Reading #2: “Our Deepest Fear”
By Marianne Williamson (adapted by TT)
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be?
We are a child of the Universe.
Our playing small
Does not serve the world...
We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of the Universe that is within us.
It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
V. Bright Shadow, Golden Shadow
The “dark shadow” of Freud is only part of the story. As the second reading
suggests, we also have within us oceans and rivers of light. Freud's perspective on the
“dark shadow” is informed by and limited by his roots in the Jewish tradition where
matters of conscience are primary. Jung comes out of a different family tradition
of Swiss protestantism and German philosophy were consciousness, not conscience, is
primary.
Applied to the nature of Shadow, for Jung and most Jungians, Shadow is
everything that we do not know about ourselvesthat we are temporarily “in the dark”
aboutdarkness and light, destructive and creative.
Jung's understand of “shadow” reminds me of a favorite game that I played on
summer nights when I visited someone who had a cabin on a lake or river. We used to
bring the most powerful flashlight we could find and shine it across the open water.
Wherever the pencil like beam was directed things stood out, while everything outside
the circle of light was cast into darkness. We could move the beam of light around
and illuminate different aspects of the night landscape but without using a different
lens there was always a tiny beam of light while most of the landscape was hidden in
the darkness.
The “Golden Shadow”of Jung and Transpersonal Psychologists is like that
childhood game: whatever we are in the dark about, whatever we can't see because
our attention focused elsewhere becomes part of the Shadow, part of the unconscious.
Our “bright shadow”, our “golden shadow” is the splendid, creative, lifeenhancing
qualities hidden within ourselves that we cannot yet see and therefore cannot yet
claim as our own.
In some cases, our families of origin or our childhood faith encouraged us to loan
our best qualities to others or to God and only focus on what was bad about ourselves.
But as our reading from Williamson/Mandela suggests, how can we possibly change
our world if we our constantly giving away our Light to others?
If you'd like to start reclaiming your own “Bright Shadow”make a list of people
you really admirethe people who you admire and sometimes imitate. In a less refined
version, these are the people who you envy because they more fully embody a quality
that you desperately want for yourself. After you've got several people on your “heroes”
list add two or three qualities that you associate with each. When you've got at least
10 qualities you admire or envy then sort of similarities. What emerges is a picture in
words of your Bright Shadow, your idealized self.
VI. Shadow in Community
I will close with a few words about shadow in community. One of the great
advantages of communities like this one is that our inner work gains a social context
that is filled with people both like and unlike ourselves. When someone or something in
this community “pushes your buttons”, makes you irrationally angry or judgmental
consider the possibility that part of your dark shadow has been activated. Rather than
ranting at the person who is carrying your projection, why not take a step towards
your Personal Endarkenment and ask the question: how does this trait that I find
so irritating or even disgusting reveal something about my own rough edges?
And likewise, in this free and responsible community, when you are tempted to
give away your best traits by idolizing someone else or envying them why not take a
step towards your own Awakening? Instead of dwelling in the warm glow of
unconscious projection, ask yourself how are these qualities that I so admire in another
person also present in me? How could I realize these qualities in my life rather than
waiting and hoping for my “bright shadow” to do it for me?
“My Shadow” written by Robert Louis Stevenson
VII. Resources for Personal Endarkenment
Robert Bly, A Little Book on the Human Shadow. 1988.
C.G. Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections. 1973
William A. Miller, Your Golden Shadow: Discovering & Fulfilling Your Undeveloped Self.
1989.
MarieLouise von Franz. Shadow and Evil in Fairtyales. 1974.
Connie Zweig and Jeremiah Abrams, Meeting the Shadow:
The Hidden Power of the Dark Side of Human Nature. 1991
“The Shadow” radio series, 247 episodes for free listening.
Shadow,The (not forsale) | My old time radio shows
www.myoldradio.com/old-radio-shows/shadow-the-not-forsale
5 Ways to Meet Your Shadow
© 2015 Ted E. Tollefson
1. Make a list of your “shadow chorus line”the people who really push your
buttons and generate strong negative feelings of dislike, anger, disapproval,
disgust. Identify 2 or 3 core qualities that makes each one vile. Then sort for
similarities. The convergence of repeated qualities is a snapshot of your
shadow.
2. Ask your X. Ask someone with whom you've had a serious “falling out” (in
love, marriage, work) what your dark, unsavory side looks like. Take careful
notes especially if you disagree. If you talk to 2 or 3 X's, what are the similarities
in their portraits of your shadowy side?
3. Notice when you rant. Notice the next that you start ranting about someone,
where your reaction is vastly stronger than the situation might merit. Ask
yourself: how does this person reflect an aspect of myself that makes me queasy?
Once you get a clear of sense of the quality that 'bugs you', notice when and how
this quality emerges in your waking life or your dream life.
4. Daydreams or Nightdreams. Look for characters in your day dreams or
night dreams who arouse fear, hatred, disgust, aversion. Jung says that most of
these characters will be of your own gender and about your age.
5. Least developed function. If you know your highest score on the Myers
Briggs Type Indicator, what is its opposite? Notice how tasks that require skills
that you don't have can raise stress and tend to bring out negative emotional
reactions.