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QUESTION:

What is Attachment Parenting and how does the infant benefit from being
attached? Discuss both the short and long – term benefits.

How does our society regard this way of parenting? Discuss, including
recommendations.
Introduction

The aim of this literature review is to discuss and explore the


attachment parenting. Discussion will include how the infant benefits from
being attached, the short and long term benefits and how our society regards
attachment parenting. To begin to understand what is attachment parenting
one must first define what attachment is and the theory behind it that leads to
attachment parenting.

Attachment

“Attachment is defined, as a lasting psychological connectedness


between human beings" (Bowlby, 1982). It can also be defined as a
relationship that when felt to its deepest degree causes the mother to feel that
the baby is part of her. This feeling is so strong that, at least in the early
months, the attached mother feels complete when she is with her baby and
feels incomplete if they are apart (Sears, 1987).

Parenting
Parenting is defined by Shonkoff and Phillips (2000) as the 'focused
and differentiated relationship that the young child has with the adult who is
most emotionally invested in and consistently available to him or her'.

Attachment Parenting

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Attachment parenting is a style of parenting that develops an infant or
child's need for trust, empathy and affection in order to create a secure,
peaceful and enduring relationship. This style requires a consistent, loving
and responsive carer, ideally a parent, especially during the child's critical
first 3-5 years of life (Ezzo & Bucknam, 1995).

Attachment Theory

Attachment theory explains how we become secure, first as children


and later as adults. Attachment theory is based on the belief that the mother-
child bond is the essential and primary force in infant development, and thus
forms the basis of coping, negotiation of relationships, and personality
development (Bowlby, 1982). Attachment theory provides not only a
framework for understanding emotional reactions in infants, but also a
framework for understanding love, loneliness, and grief in adults. In
comparison, Wikipedia (n.d.) in Sigmund Freud proposed that attachment
was a consequence of the need to satisfy various drives. Attachment is
considered a biological system and children are naturally attached to their
parents because they are social beings, not just because they need other
people to satisfy drives. Therefore attachment is part of normal child
development.

Development of Behaviour

Bowlby (1973) described four infant behavioural systems:

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The exploratory system where the infant explores the world around him; the
affirmative system; where the infant learns to be with others; the
fear/wariness system, that gradually helps the infant learn about dangers and
to stay safe; the attachment system that assists the infant to seek proximity to
their attachment figure and develop a sense of security. He identified the
attachment system as the most important one of all the four.

Family

The family is the basic institutional unit of society primarily


responsible for the child-rearing functions. When families fail to fulfill this
responsibility to children everyone suffers. Families are responsible for
providing physical necessities, emotional support, learning opportunities,
moral guidance and building self-esteem and resilience (Kumpfer et al
2002).

Having a child is one of life's most emotional events. It transforms


individuals or people as parents in a relationship. During pregnancy parents
must adapt physically and emotionally to proceed to what is probably the
greatest responsibility in their lives. Preparation for becoming a parent
begins long before childbirth. It includes healthy lifestyle choices in all the
areas of wellness. There is no single framework or model used for teaching
parents skills or strategies. This has been a controversial area of discussion
in the early childhood intervention literature, where the emphasis has
changed from a child-focused to a relationship focused approach ( Kelly &
Barnard, 1999).

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One common strategy for coping with changes and challenges during
pregnancy is to attend antenatal classes and visits. Antenatal classes may
come in various forms, but all have the same aim - to help prepare parents
for both the birth, and early parenthood. Antenatal classes should not only
focus on the help to prepare the mother for labour, birth, and early
parenthood but also on the communication skills of early attachment
relationships to assist and motivate the new parents to be more connected
with their newborn infant and understand more their infants needs.
Motivated parents can usually be more able to provide a far richer and more
nurturing social and intellectual environment for their children (Garbarino,
1992).

We believe as a group that parents can be served best by sensitive


leaders during ante-natal classes and visits that willingly help to develop and
maintain a creative learning environment and encourage participation. Both
parents must choose to participate (Kaiser& Hancock 2003). Whenever
possible both parents must attend to these classes and visits as many
information can be gained by them from these interactions with the health
care staff and other experienced parents. Like the mother, the father can also
benefit from knowing what to expect when the mother goes into labour - and
how to assist in that process.

Birth Bonding

Mothers are biologically and genetically designed to nurture their


babies. A newborn's mother has everything a baby need – arms to hold him,
breasts with human milk to feed and comfort him, a human body to share

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with him, a person to protect and be there for him. The best way to start a
relationship with their baby is for the mother and father to be informed and
be active in their baby's birth. If both parents are present at the birth, and
there is a positive birth experience, the mother and father are very likely to
fall deeply in love with their baby (Barker, 1991).

The decision of parents regarding their child’s may depend on how


they themselves were raised as children, what they observed in other
families, what they had been taught, and their cultural background. Every
family is different; a different father and mother each with their own genetic
inheritance, beliefs, values, background and education. What might work for
one family does not necessarily work for another. Learning about our early
attachment relationships with our parents can give us insight into our own
adult relationships, and especially into our marital relationship. Parents'
skills and needs vary widely. According to Bowes (2000) a couple normally
builds their parenteral skills from their own experiences as a child, thus
becoming a major influence on their own parenting style.

Shonkoff & Phillips (2000) stated that ‘what young children learn,
how they react to the events and people around them, and what they expect
from themselves and others, are deeply affected by their relationships with
parents, the behaviour of parents, and the environment of the homes in
which they live'. Both parents must invest in quality time to promote healthy
relationships, social and emotional development in their young children.
Failure to do so is both costly to children and society. Being loved, valued
and understood by those closest in childhood is perhaps the strongest
protection against our emotional disturbance.

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Parents not only need to foster a secure attachment with their child,
but they also require: the personal skills to interact constructively with their
children, the organizational skills to manage their lives inside and outside
the home, and the problem-solving skills to address the many challenges that
children present. Doing this requires co-operation with the child’s needs and
how the child is responding to the world. It also requires support, like child
care and social networks, and resources that come with economic security.

The infant and his parents benefit from attachment parenting in various ways both in the short and
long term.

Relationship

With good relationship the parents and their baby, will experience mutual sensitivity, mutual
giving, and mutual shaping of behaviour, mutual trust, more flexibility, and more lively interactions and
brings out the best of each other.

Benefits for Baby

The baby will feel more trusted, more competent, grows better, feels
right, acts right, is better organized, learns language more easily, establishes
healthy independence, learns intimacy and to give and receive love.

Benefits for Parents

Parents may become more confident in responding to what levels of


parenting their baby needs. They will be more sensitive and will be able to
detect more efficiently their baby’s cues so then they can respond intuitively
and flow with baby’s temperament, can find discipline easily and become
keen observers of their child. Parents will be able to know their baby's

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competencies and preferences and will also know what advice to take and
which to disregard for the benefit of their children (Sears, 1987).

Babies communicate in various ways for their needs such as body


movements, facial expressions and crying. Young babies need lots of
physical contact through mutual giving. Mutual giving is where baby
enjoyment begins (Sears, 1987). Babies learn to trust when their needs are
consistently responded immediately and with sensitivity. Building a strong
attachment with a baby involves not only responding consistently to his
physical needs but also spending enjoyable time interacting with him and
thus meeting his physical and emotional needs as well. The baby also needs
to be handled and caressed frequently in order to thrive.

Breastfeeding is another important intervention that meets the baby's


physical and emotional needs. Breastfeeding is more than a physiological
process. It is a learned activity that involves a dynamic interaction within a
complex set of social, cultural and experiential factors (National
Breastfeeding Advisory Committee, 2007). Much of the literature that
promotes breastfeeding focuses on the physical benefits of the process,
particularly the transfer of nutrients and immunity. According to Ezzo &
Bucknam (1995) breastfeeding also has a critical significant role in
attachment, early brain development and the overall healthy child
development. Breastfeeding is one way for a mother to nurture an infant by
responding to his attachment behaviours. It is an attachment practice – an
important practice that the mother can use to develop a deep and lasting
connection with her child and thus respond to his needs. When the mother

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breastfeed, she holds and caress her baby, and gives her baby nourishment
and comfort. The baby, in turn, "gives" good things back to his mother.

Klaus and Kennell (1976) claims that mothers who have close contact
(preferably skin-to-skin) with their babies during the first hours and days
after delivery are more likely to breastfeed their young and they also show
significant long term differences in mothering behaviour compared with
those mothers who had a "routine" separation from their babies in maternity
hospital. While nutrients and antibodies pass to the baby, beneficial
hormones are released into the mother's body which further enhances her
mothering behavior. The hormones associated with breastfeeding (prolactin)
help mothers to feel calm and loving by having a more peaceful parenting.

Babies and young children will detach themselves from breastfeeding


when they are ready, and not when the mother decides to stop. It is crucial
that the mother will be emotionally responsive to her baby's emotional needs
that are the cornerstone to attachment parenting. Here the father can give
valuable emotional support to his partner when breastfeeding. In most
families the primary attachment figure in the early years is the mother, but
the father also has a crucial role.

Most of the children are suffering from not having a father-figure at


home, particularly in their early years of development, where human
bonding is of prime importance. The role of the father in the early days and
weeks of the infant is crucial. This is the time where the father will put
“shared care” into practice. It assists the father to get to know his new baby
and is an invaluable time to create a relationship with the baby and establish

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an active parenting role. According to Granju & Kennedy (1999), like
mothers’ sensitive care giving, fathers’ sensitivity predicts secure
attachment. It is an effect that becomes stronger through the time the father
spends with his baby. The father can give his wife or his partner a much
needed break, and re-integrates the emotional balance between the two.
During the early weeks after birth, the father can make the effective use of
his entitled parental leave. Parental leave can positively give the fathers an
opportunity to build a better relationship with his newborn baby and his
partner by mutual shaping. By being involved in the shared care of their
newborn with his partner, the father at this time can also handle any feelings
of exclusions he may encounter.

After becoming parents, both partners will never be the same – and
they want the change to be better parents through mutual shaping. An
example of mutual shaping is well illustrated by how the father and his baby
learn to talk to each other. A baby's early communication is a language of
needs. Crying and smiling are the earliest tools used by the baby to
communicate and reinforce the father’s responses to his needs. As the father
learns and responds to his baby's language, he may feel that he is regressing
to the level of his baby. The hard work of looking after the child feels much
less hard when both parents communicate effectively with each other.

The father can also help during feeding. If the mother is breastfeeding,
the father is to try to help as much as possible and provides his wife the
emotional support she needs such as preparing frequent drinks and healthy
snacks, as feeding may be difficult at first. If the mother expresses her milk

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in a jar or the baby is being bottle-fed, the father can play a more active part
during day and night. Taking turns, particularly with night feeds, which are
the most exhausting times, will make a big difference to the morale of the
mother in the future. She may easily feel overwhelmed at the enormity of
her responsibilities.

Children who receive trust and confidence through the early touch of
both parents are more likely to express confidence, security and
independence as individuals very early in their lives. The father can also
assist the mother in changing nappies, bathing the baby and soothing away
inexplicable crying fits. Being involved also means having fun. Playing with
his new baby, the father will have the opportunity to observe his child’s
rapid development. Apart from being a fascinating moment, it also helps to
build a stronger relationship.

The father can also strengthen his relationship with the new baby by
learning to spend quality time massaging the baby’s body. It gives him a
wonderful way to soothe and calm his child. Karen (1994) in her book
‘Becoming Attached’ stated that the father is a role model for his son and in
an innocent way is also the first romantic figure for his daughter.

Parents may find out that through all their love, care and affection,
make their child more mature to focus on his life in the future from a better
perspective.

Emotional Needs and Security

Ainsworth et al (1978) discussed crying as the baby's way of


communicating that he or she is distressed. A secure infant depends upon

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his parents when in distress; the parents, in turn, are attuned to the infant's
needs and can respond in a sensitive, responsible way most of the time.
Emotional development refers to giving a child an opportunity to love other
people, to care, to help generously and feel secure. Parents must be
responsive to their baby's needs with their physical presence (Isabella &
Belsky, 1990).

Being loved is achieved through: physical needs, emotional support,


encouragement, caressing, hugging and touch. Cook (1997) states that some
emotional needs can be summarized under five A's: affection, acceptance,
attachment, appreciation and approval. From the time speech develops, he
adds a sixth - the child sometimes also needs an apology. This can serve to
restore a relationship when one of his parents makes a mistake. One must
remember that a child not only needs to be loved but also to feel loved.

Co-Sleeping

Co-sleeping has many benefits for both parents and the baby. A good
way of understanding 'attachment parenting' is to look at the significant issue
of the family bed. Those who believe in attachment parenting consider it a
wonderful opportunity to bond with kids and to teach them good sleeping
behaviour. Parents and infants may sleep well near each other. Pursuant to
the proximity presence of the mother, babies do not have to fully wake and
cry to get a response. As a result, mothers can attend to their infant before
either of them is fully awake (McKenna 1990). Mosenkis (1998) stated that
it is both normal and healthy for a child to be dependent upon parents until
he, not his parents, feels safe enough and independent enough to separate.

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There are also disadvantages associated with co-sleeping.
Epidemiological knowledge has implicated bed-sharing as a risk factor for
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (Mitchell & Thompson, 1995). Several
retrospective studies of sudden infant deaths have described the hazards of
bed sharing such as suffocation from overlaying and entrapment (Drago &
Dannenberg, 1999).

Therefore, decision making about infant sleep location has become


controversial for professionals and parents. As health visitors have
substantial contact with mothers and their infants, they are frequently asked
for information and advice regarding bed sharing. The information given to
them must be based on evidence, by labelling a practice as 'safe' or 'unsafe'
that may put infants at risk. Health visitors have an ethical responsibility to
provide parents with information based on evidence, and to empower them
to take decisions about how to provide a safe sleeping environment for their
baby, irrespective of whether they choose co-sleep or not (Simpson &
Garpiel, 2002)

Separation

Secure attachment can be damaged by long episodes of separation


between the parents and their child. Parents are the most perfectly attuned
persons in the child’s needs. Klaus & Kennell (1976) proposed that
separation between a mother and her infant in the first three days of life can
affect the long-term experience of the child. Being away from him during
stressful times deprives him or her from the most valuable support and also
deprives his parents of the chance to further cement their friendship.

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Long separations can cause their child to go through the stages of
grief and can affect their child’s attachment. If separation is inevitable, the
parents must willingly help their child to work gradually and then ideally,
the carer will be one that has a consistent loving attitude and can give
continuity of care to the baby.

Discipline

Discipline provides developmentally appropriate boundaries linked


with natural or logical consequences, allowing children to mature into a
secure and successful independence. Parents should treat their children the
way they want to be treated. Positive discipline is an overarching philosophy
that helps a child develop a conscience guided by his own internal discipline
and compassion for others. Positive discipline is rooted in a secure, trusting,
connected relationship between the parent and child. Discipline, which is
empathetic, loving and respectful, strengthens the connection between parent
and child; while harsh or overly-punitive discipline weakens the connection.
Parents must remember that the ultimate goal of discipline is to help children
develop a self-control and self-discipline.

Responding to the Older Child

Some children enjoy “pre-school” or other programmes where parents


are not included, but these are not necessary for child development. Before
joining one must consider the child's readiness to separate, and the amount
and type of support provided by adults. Parents must continue to:

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• Nurture a close connection by respecting the child's feelings and trying to
understand the needs underlying his or her outward behaviours.
• Support explorations by providing a safe environment for discovery and
remaining close with their child.
• Show interest in the child's activities and participate enthusiastically in
child - directed play.

Nurturing Touch and the Older Child

Human touch and holding is really something we really never grow


out of. All humans (including children) thrive on touch and the reconnection
it provides. Observations have shown that babies and children who are
deprived from touch generally suffer from anxiety and its related disorders
(Dawes & Harrold 1990). Parents must play games to encourage physical
closeness. Frequent hugs, snuggling, back rubs and massage all meet the
older child’s need for touch. Teaching adults and children to use gentle
touch through massage techniques is a good idea. Massage can soothe babies
with colic, help a child unwind before bedtime, and provides opportunity for
playful interactions that increase the parent-child bonding and to prevent the
use of hurting touch such as shaking, hitting and spanking children (Dawes
& Harrold 1990).

Babies who are born through caesarean section, premature or


incubated, and who miss out on the massage through the birth canal, need
even greater amounts of touch and massage. It is believed that fast-birth
babies might later feel ambiguous about their body and be overly head-
oriented people (Dawes & Harrold 1990). They would benefit enormously

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from massage which would bring them back into their bodies and encourage
them to feel accepted towards their body.

How does our society regard this way of parenting?

The family is the basic human community through which persons are
nurtured and sustained in mutual love, responsibility, respect, and fidelity.
We affirm the importance of both fathers and mothers for all children.
Between March and June 1999, Misco International organized the fourth
wave of the European Values Study. A random sample of 1000 Maltese
respondents took part. These were asked about the importance of the
involvement of both the mother and the father in their child development.
Irrespective of the changing gender roles, respondents were constantly of the
opinion that a child needs both father and mother to grow up happily (Abela
1999).

In a women’s activity held on the Women’s Day, Marian Theuma


and Sue Gatt spoke about various issues. Mainly highlighting:

• The need of having the continuous presence of a support person during


pregnancy, labour and after giving birth for both mother and father.
• The different needs of bonding, warmth, care and breastfeeding that are
so essential for the development of the security of a child.
• The difficulties women face today in reconciling family and work
responsibilities which are not allowing motherhood, the fulfilment that
was possible in the past.

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• The mother’s stress at a time when emotional support is so important
to develop attachment to the baby in a safe environment.
• The importance of parenthood education, to reach out to school
children and teenage parents.

A number of solutions at national level were recommended including


the need of educators specialised in mothering/fathering skills. These
educators in parenthood together with health professionals should seek ways
of complementing the services they offer to meet the needs of today’s
parents. (Theuma & Gatt 2002).

Recommendations

In order to aim in supporting attachment parenting in today’s society,


one must start from the very beginning; that of re-evaluating the knowledge
of the general public regarding this issue. Measuring the level of education,
local traditions and beliefs through questionnaires are all vital and important
for this aim. This will strengthen all aspects of family and community life by
building a network which assists parents to meet their obligation to each new
member of the family and raising healthy, confident children the natural way
through attachment parenting.

Health Authorities should start restoring values and of nurturing and


recognize that all our children’s needs. Professionally run, affordable
childcare services are therefore necessary to meet the needs of single
mothers and families where both parents work. The importance of training
staff at different levels to ensure that children below school age are given
‘education care’ that caters for their needs is imperative.

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Parenting education may reach the general public through various
ways. These include verbal information, telephone information, via e-mail,
written information, videotape, parent-held records and home visiting.

Mahoney & Wheeden (1997) suggests that standardised verbal


suggestions are effective in delivering information. Specific and relatively
simple content should be used. Verbal information alone is insufficient and
is best accompanied by other education methods such as counselling. Such
information should be given during ante-natal classes and throughout child
development. Advice is delivered best by a professional.

Telephone-based services can be delivered cheaply and are generally


viewed favourably by parents, including those targeting parents of children
with specific conditions. The advantages of such service include saving of
time and money on appointments and easy access for those who live far
away. Limitations to use this service include poorer and less educated
families. Booth & Booth (1993), emphasizes that telephone information
alone has not shown an impact on parenting skills and child functioning, but
is useful as part of a parent training package combined with other strategies
such as written material.

Written material consists of informational handouts. These can be


effective educational tools, particularly when they are accompanied by a
personalised approach and advice. This helps to engage parents’ interest and
motivation.

Instructional videotapes have been effective and increase parents’


education when shown in situations such as clinic waiting rooms. A

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combination of video series and verbal discussion groups appear to be most
effective in achieving such learning.

Parent-held records enable the parents to monitor their child’s


development throughout his first years. Also this helps in guiding parenting
skills and preventing or intervening with problematic chid behaviours and
development. Vaccinations records are also kept by the parents, therefore
this also motivate them in monitoring their child’s health.

Routine home visiting by health professionals is an effective way of


delivering non-medical aspects of care (Gross et al. 1995). Home visiting for
more substantive family and child problems can also be effective and can
minimize attrition with families most in need of intervention. Professional
training of home visitors, and setting defined goals, is associated with
improved outcomes for children across a range of important developmental
and social areas. This includes enhanced language, behavioural development
and decreased child maltreatment. Home visiting also helps in developing a
personal relationship between the home visitor and the parents, therefore
helps the goals to be reached.

Conclusion

Ante-natal classes are very valuable in the preparatory process of new


parents, and they must attend these sessions together in order to gain
experience to be able to care for their new born baby as well to share their
new experience with other experienced couples. Of equal importance is the
need for the new parents to reflect deeply on good communication between
each other so then they can work towards the goal of giving good values to

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their children. The fruits of good mothering and early nurture are among the
greatest blessings a person can have in life. In offering these to their infants,
mothers and fathers are setting patterns of relationships which can be
creative, mutually rewarding and lasting for the rest of their lives.

Our children need the best of our strength, our courage, our
intelligence and our fearlessness. They need our empathy, assertiveness and
self-confidence. They need the kind of support that only their fathers and
mothers can provide. What we all need as parents today are the tools, the
new know-how and new hope and happiness for our children. Therefore, it is
of the highest importance to hold the highest positive thoughts we can for
our children.

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