Health Care System in the Modern World Commented [Lisa J.1]: I propose this new title.

What do you
guys think??

Health care, apparently, is one of the most important issuesmatter for every people in the Formatted: Centered

world’s population, especially in poor countries. DespiteIn spite of great stridesimprovements
inof health care in today’sthis era of globalization, millions of impecunious impoverished
people die from diseases that are actually preventable and curable diseases. This issue
ensuesd mainly due to the financial incapability possessed by most of society that leads to the
health problems. Unfortunately, some countries have not developed do not have effective and
Commented [Damian H.2]: Just a suggestion. Should you
provide examples of poor countries that this sentence is referring
to?
Commented [Damian H.3]: Not sure what this words mean?
Commented [Lisa J.4]: I changed the word to impoverished.
Does this sound okay?

efficient health care system compared to other developed countries. Either complete Commented [ADI M5]: Which society? Poor society?

prevention or medication towards health threats is indeed difficult to accomplishbe done

since the amount of people infected exceeds the limit of ability to provide care. As a result, a
considerable number of people have not receiveddid not get proper treatment, leading to the
deterioration of their condition and thus may provoke aggravated condition. Nevertheless, Formatted: Highlight

hHampered tendance could also cause worsen the situation by accelerating the infection
process. The rate of epidemy transmission is more likely faster than what we could have
imagined and until we know, the contagion can no longer be controlledcontained. The Commented [ADI M6]: Know what?

problem is not necessarily extends beyond just a mere national or regional concern, yet it Know the solution?
could be classified as international problem since the infection has strong potential to affect
reaching out countries all over the world.

There are multipleseveral explanations for arguments trying to explain the causes to of the
health problems. As a matter of fact, one of the main factors that causes disreputable health
services is connection. Why is connection such an important factor? The epidemy Commented [Damian H.7]: Should you be more specific on
what “connection” means here?
transmission rate is obviously proportional with connection between of people, that is the
more connection someone is linked with another individual(s), the higher probability that he
or she will become infected. Limiting physical contact with another person would greatly
lower the risk of being infectedPeople with few relations, roughly speaking, will surely have
lower chance of getting infected. Thus, connection indirectly has power to control the
transmission rate of diseases. In addition, some organizations such as the World Health
Organization (WHO) andor World Neighbors was intentionally establishedheld to eliminate
poverty, famine, diseases and manyany other things that related to health matters by either
supplying technical supports or by providing education regarding health care and
improvements. Connection, once again, is a signifant factor for those organizations
administrations. Unconsciously, through the power of connection, the supports and services Commented [Lisa J.8]: I do not think unconsciously is the
correct word here. Any suggestions?
would be more convenient. For example, a staff from a certain health care organization
Commented [ADI M9]: Need more explanation why this would
intends to give counsel concerning health at a poor region that. It turns out that the region was be more convenient before the example statement
overpopulated. Instead of giving information to a large-scale mass in person, the staff would
rathercould avoidskip the difficulty and select by picking out the chiefs fromof each smaller
district, merely passing the information upon them and assigning the chiefs to deliver the
information through to the rest of the population. Considering that many poor countries
haven’t yet to getreceived proper health care, the idea applied by the staff could produce Commented [ADI M10]: Need to state the specific idea..

more efficient ways to improve world-wide health standards in the world. the idea of …… could produce

idea of connection?