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Contents

Light in the Bag

Strange Fungus
Half Star - Half Dust

Mundane Death

Exciting Survival

Times Direction

Eyes to the Soul

The Heart Field


Beings of Light

the Anti-Verse
Fabric of the Bag

Mind that fears Death


Mass Scale Trauma

Living in the
Material World

Thriving in the Verse

The Future
and Living Forever

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Gods Scale, the Paradox

Afterlife The Other Side


Gardens of Nirvana

The Universes’s Origin

Redemption of Suffering
Kindness to the Struggling
Unlocking Untapped Human Energy

Feeling into our already


beautiful playful nature

Waking up in the Matrix

Loving Atmosphere
Awakening the Light Play Field

Stardust Evolution
Full Magnetic Human Potential

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In-verse Theory
Zack Zwiebel

In my Naturally Social book I wrote “I know much about the human body, but
when it comes to why we exist at all, I know very little” well I decided to try and answer
these questions. And found more then I expected. Perhaps even some new explanations
about suffering.

Light in the Bag

Someone put light in a bag.

In other words, Someone (God) put


light (herself) into the Universe.

The bag is woven out of 11


dimensions (the number is not important
right now). Each dimension is an anti-God, a
limitation. A powerful material used to
‘contain’ infinity. Darkness. Things made of
light decay because the light is escaping back
to the source, outside the Universe. The Universe itself is a limitation. Rather a temporary
attempt for God to remove her own power. If God can do anything, then God can remove
her power. A paradox. For the all powerful to be powerless. A limited infinity. Perhaps it
is only true for a period of time. Within the dimension of time, God has succeeded in
removing her power, or rather trapping it beneath something (the anti-verse, space.). “We
are Gods without power” (Quote
myself like a badass)
Light decays, because light itself
is escaping back to the source
(through the fabric of the bag). Even
stars eventually die. They explode in
a ‘super nova’. Stardust, decaying
light from the exploded star floats
around in space, it gathers by it’s

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own gravity and forms hovering rocks, planets. The dust mixes with fresh light from a
near sun. It turns into life. Something that is both dust and light. Life evolves into
dinosaurs. Evolves into humans. Beings made of both dust and light, decaying light. We
are reptiles that have evolved to look like Gods. On the surface we look all-divine, yet it
is deceiving, because we are still bound to the Earth. We ware our skin our light on the
outside, for our survival, are attractiveness, and on the inside is a strange machine that
keeps us alive, our organs. Light is not actually dying (in stars, in humans), it’s the
Universe itself that is… The light is escaping back. All forms and evolutions of life may
be the expression of light trying to survive against decay.
The light is the true self. The human, is a material thing that channels light to stay
alive. Consuming other objects helps fuel the process of change. - Play - or having fun, is
another way we repel decay, flowing with the process of change. As one thing decays or
'is no longer fun' we find something new that ‘is fun.’ Super Mario jumps from one block
to the next as they fall from under his feet. Each block is a transient thing. The process of
change itself is life. Light is the true eternal. The one thing we can receive that does not
change. Love. Light is the expression of love in a material Universe.

Strange Fungus
Half Star - Half Dust

Humans are like fungus. Strange


beings that share light energy with each
other to survive, in a world that decays.
We are Gods sealed inside material
things. The Sun, Trees, oxygen, water,
provide the ecosystem that makes us,
mammals, more dynamic life, possible.
We walk, outside the primordial soup.
Yet our material bodies belong to the
Earth. It’s the circle of life; we live by
relying on each other and our world.
Inside a human are many strange bones
and organs. We are material creatures that have evolved to survive chaos and decay,
harnessing play, to our advantage, and light. Science describes entropy as the tendency of
things to move towards increasing disorder. In a vast Universe, life is the exception. …
Humans may have more potential for creativity then any creature before. A large body of

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light (a human) can repel decay, it acquires an ‘aura’. A depressed, socially isolated, or
injured person has less
‘aura’ and becomes more
vulnerable to all kinds of
sensitivity and illness.
Even this aura doesn’t
last forever. Weather
patterns, city buildings,
this is all the crazy
journey of light to
survive.
Being inside the
Universe means
relinquishing your divine
power to be ‘mortal.’ By
flowing with the process
of change or ‘play’ we reverse decay, for a time. We can thrive inside the material
Universe. A being with the right awareness could enter the Universe and suffer much less
then those before her. (What is it that decides who receives what awareness, I will cover
later.) It’s a game, you can win or lose. There are many ways to play. But it’s not a fair
game. “God does in fact play dice” to quote quantum physicists and contradict Einstein.
Everyone is dealt random cards, that is how the game is played. Both order and chaos
exist in this world.
“Biophotons, or ultraweak photon emissions of biological systems, are weak
electromagnetic waves in the optical range of the spectrum (i.e. light). All living cells of
plants, animals and human beings emit biophotons. A photon is a single particle of light
but is too faint to be seen by the naked eye. However, biophotons have been detected and
verified using photomultiplier tubes. While a few organisms, such as certain deep sea
fish, emit quite considerable intensities (thus being easily visible), much lower levels of
light, which can just be detected with photomultipliers, can be found in all kinds of other
living beings.”

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Einstein was fascinated by light. He proved that matter is governed by the speed of
light. …Humans channel light, in particular through their eyes. The eyes literally may be
the window to the soul. There may be a direct connection between the eyes and the heart.
Light is both emitted and received by the eyes, absorbed into the heart itself - and all the
bodies cells. Humans, and other animals, convert light into biolight, and share this light
with each other in order to survive. We call this love. Living creatures change the
organization (or coherence) of light particles, photons, to support living systems; turning
them into biophotons, a type of light energy that is suited particularly to generating life.
Light perhaps in it’s nature is infinite, but space-time (the Universe fabric) defines,
or breaks it up, it into finite (limited) particles; or quantums of light. Photons. This world
contains both Heaven and Hell. Light is heaven. Space is Hell. You can come to the
Universe and have an experience of both, or just one or the other. It’s not about how good
you are, but how aware you are. Many never find the awareness they need through no
fault of their own. God (infinity) has been chopped up into a ~ googolplex (very large
number) of tiny pieces, like someones giant Lego set. Both beautiful and dangerous to
play with souls in this way. Shame on you God.
Our world is like an Anti-Verse. Death is the anti-God that rules here. The true
world is outside. Life, trees, plants, animals, humans, light itself, all expressions of the
divine bleeding through into our world. Stem cells. Sperm cells. Eggs. These are the
acrobatics light does to survive within the space-time vacuum. It is a vacuum in the sense
that all
light has
been
sucked
out (save
the stars
and us).
(50%?
90%)
This is
the world
of the
undead.
The
living
dead. The
reason
we don’t
see it this
way is because we need positive thinking to survive in this world. We are material things

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come to life. Animated skeletons with flesh. The millions of microorganisms crawling in
my skin are the stamp of our origin, the mark of what we are. We are beautiful, yet we
evolved from the bugs, the amebas, the primordial soup. This is the creepy anti-world.
Here it is death, outer space, that has the final say. Against a crushing darkness, it is all
the more important that we surround ourselves with the people and things we love.

Gravity happens when matter or light is collapsing in on itself. The light is trying
to get back to the other side, and to be near other light. This creates a magnetic attraction
between light and light or light and matter or matter and matter. The larger something is,
the more gravity it has. All matter is divine. It gathers together to avoid being crushed by
space-time, the emptiness or not-divine. Matter feeds off other matter. Time is something
very powerful. Even spirits or beings on the other side may not be able to change it.

Atoms are an efficient organization


of light, light propels itself in a circular
motion, it ‘plays’. Virtually everything in
our world is made of Atoms. Light does
this to generate it’s own gravity,
centrifugal force, too survive. This
happens on a micro level so we don’t
think about it. On the surface things
appear still, yet on a micro level there is a
massive amount of energy swirling around
all the time. Similar to an amusement park
ride, you can use inertia to counter the
broader force of gravity. Atoms have an
electromagnetic force that repels gravity
to a degree. If you split an atom, instead
of peacefully falling apart, there is a
violent explosion. A nuclear explosion. The atom is spinning very fast to keep it’s form.
So when you split it all that energy is released. It releases radiation, a type of ‘early
Universe’ matter that is actually dangerous to current matter. Our bodies are made of
atoms, that each contain this incredible, potentially lethal, power. A human body contains
37 trillion cells which is equal to 7*1027 atoms, that’s 7*1027 potential nuclear explosions
(?). We are incredibly powerful beings. There is nothing normal about being human. We
live in a lethal world. It appears still on the surface. This is deceptive. …This is part of
the reason many people feel they are living in a ‘surface world’ or things are ‘superficial’.
The superficial seems safe, it’s scary to think about what we’re really made of. (Radiation
comes from destroying atoms. The way to cure radiation is to know how to build atoms.
Which takes both a lot of skill and fine instruments (I can only assume). There are

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different types of atoms. perhaps some atoms may already be predisposed to bond with
radiation particles, making them safe again.)
Photons, small pieces of light that permeate us and our world, have no mass, and
are neither particle nor wave. Individual photons don’t obey the conventional laws of
physics that bind us larger objects, made of atoms and cells. Yet we need atoms and cells
to survive against death or decay.

Exciting Survival

Light is divine, skin is divine, we are made of stardust. Our bodies have much of
the divine. Our bodies radiate small but important amounts of light. We share it to
survive. Space-time is the not-divine. If we are alone too long, we suffer, our bodies lose
their light. We sit still for too long, we forget our nature, our need for play, our body loses
charge, we suffer. The space time weave pulls us down. Gravity. “Don’t get lost in
gravity” song lyric. When we are full with light, we actually repel gravity to a degree. We
almost float. We weigh less.
Everything we do, our facial expressions. Sexual reproduction. Everything is a
journey to survive against decay. Play, expression is how we connect and survive.
Laughter. Facial
expressions are not
only an important
signaling system, but
also a way to attract
each other, and make
our company more
diverse and enjoyable.
(The reason I always
gravitated so strongly
to anime, like a fly to
a lamp, was because it
is so expressive. Much
more so then the
(school, etc) life I had
grown accustomed
too). We have children not only because we need to continue our species, but because
even while we live, having more people around, young people, benefits the living. Or
rather this is true in a healthy situation. Traumatized humans drain energy in fear and
confusion, their own and others. And produce more traumatized people. Being social is

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‘work’ for them. The world is scary so trauma is normal. But we can be free from it with
awareness, that is our journey, our evolution.

Mundane Death

Positive viewing (looking at things positively) is a way many survive in our world.
So I describe things positively when I can. In an anti-Verse, positivity is survival. This
anti-Verse view is interesting in that explains suffering and worldly conflict. The fear of
death. It can be hard to find a mate, even a small anxious vibe is threatening to others, it
reminds us of our mortality. Anxious vibes, or depressive vibes, can be (physically)
threatening over time in a real way. We are fragile beings. A bad vibe has a ripple effect
that hurts everyone, often in an unintentional and unconscious way. It’s not intelligence
that rules this world, it’s charisma. Often a ‘calm vibe’. Forced charisma creates an
anxious vibe, and is nearly as bad as being isolated. This is the trap many become caught
in; I spent my whole life in it, the way of ‘forced charisma’. After much struggle,
exploring many paths, I now believe charisma is an energy we receive from being calm in
social settings, feeling worthy to look at people, and to express ourselves. Listening to
our hearts. Doing what feels good. Not feeling guilty. Knowing we deserve to be happy,
regardless if we seem to be told otherwise. We live in the material world, so wealth has
real power here. Yet even still, wealth may not compare to the power of charisma or calm
(granted you need enough wealth to survive). I can collect a lot of dust, or matter
(money) but no amount of dust can replace light itself. A social person can channel light
energy. Without a social habitat, even a wealthy person will suffer. Feelings of
‘emptiness’ are a slow death.
I used to think death was a
distant thing that happens only
way at the end of life. Now I
think death is the process of
decay, which happens all the
time even when we live. If we
are not living, receiving,
enjoying, playing, then we are
draining, stressing, fading,
dying.
This Universe is a
spectrum, you can have in
increasingly divine experience, or and increasingly hellish one. and every level in

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between. Often gradually transferring from one to the other. In the right setting, we can
allow the divine to arise on it’s own.

Times Direction

In our world it’s easy for something to break. It’s much harder for it to ‘unbreak’.
Time flows towards decay. This may be a property of decay, and not time or change itself.
A small stain and your white shirt is ‘ruined’. Why is that? Change is a natural process.
But decay is something else. It is a property of our Universe ..which may be a most
unnatural place, despite what we tell
ourselves to feel better.

What is a stem cell? The root of


life. A living thing that is highly organized
on a micro level, containing the
information and ingredients to perpetuate
itself in an anti-World made to decay. All
life is bound to the stem-cell. The body
has a large supply of stem-cells. The
closer we get to death, the less we can
produce. From birth our stem-cells have a
set number of replications. If we live well
we can get the most out of these cells,
preserve and feed them the most light.

Fascinating the way matter will


copy itself onto other matter in order to survive. I used to think that copying was bad,
‘cheep copies’ ‘love only the original’ but now I see that this process of change,
consumption, and copying is part of our survival. Matter is always decaying or falling
away, so we must copy ourselves, our ideas, our being, our memory, onto new matter,
new people, new things. the human body is always renewing it’s cells. Every seven years
every cell in our body has been generated anew.

We live in a world of finite resources. When we know this it is easier to forgive.


Things are bound to go wrong. A hair in your burger. A crack in your windshield. It’s
miraculous that in the modern world we have found ways to have so few flaws. Often we
get anxious about a problem, but that makes it worse. Learning these glitches are to be
expected, then it is easier to thrive in this world. …We don’t talk openly about our

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problems, because we are afraid. It is terrifying. The fear makes us create a false world
where every thing is ‘ok’. A ‘surface world,’ like the one I’ve written about in my sci-fi
stories, everything seems ‘ok’ but it is far from it. This ‘hiding’ our problems, actually
makes things much worse then they were in the first place. It creates massive confusion.
If we talk openly and don’t feel ashamed, then it is easier to find solutions.

Eyes to the Soul

I have this image in my mind


from a science video, where the first
‘eye’ ball appears in the primordial
soup. Looking not so different then a
cat eye or even a humans. What is an
eye? We tend to think of an eye as
something solely used for seeing.
But I believe it does much more. It is
actually a vessel that channels light.
…Different colored eyes are
‘something new’, they attract
attention. Variation helps us survive,
as Darwin spoke of. Not just because
it prepares us for facing different
dangers, but because it actually
makes us more attractive. We take in the world through our eyes. Color, light, variety. We
need these resources, not unlike the way we need food. A blind person is handicapped,
they learn to use their other senses. The skin also emits and receives light, not unlike the
way a plant does. I began to realize this in my meditations after eliminating and
reintroducing different aspects of social connection. Note that I do not recommend
performing long (multiple hour or day long) meditations (over and over) like I did. I think
there is serious risk. I learned a lot, but it did major harm to my body. It was not at all the
result I went in looking for. …Light is divine (by which I mean that it feels amazing). It is
divinity that is trying to survive in a vacuum.

The Heart Field

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A human produces an
electromagnetic field. As all things do. All
living processes are driven by light (Fritz-
Albert Popp, scientist that discovered
biophotons). The human has an ‘aura’.
This aura repels suffering. A depressed
person, or severely injured person can no
longer generate enough energy, ‘aura’. or
EM-field to repel suffering. (like the AT
Field from Evangelion. Towards the end
of the anime Kaworu states that “all
beings have this”) A severely injured or
depressed person becomes rapidly crushed
by suffering, by time and space (being an
actual thing).
This world is a vicious place. Animals eat other animals. Some survive at a cost to
others. It is survival. In many ways this place is more hell then heaven. It’s much like
someone took Heaven
and actually put it
inside Hell.

A bacteria or
parasite will feed off
other life to survive,
this makes sense, in a
vicious world these
organisms steal light
without having to
work for it; but
ultimately other more
evolved animals tend

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to prevail. A world of just parasites would quickly devour itself. Dr. Popp talks about how
cancer may
happen when the
cells lose their
ability to absorb
light. There may
be ways to use
light to heal
cancer or other
injuries.
I always
feel better around
people (that I
like), in rooms

with windows …Color is important. Mirrors can help too (circulating light).
Environment
matters. We are
beings of the
Earth. We only
live at all because
we have oxygen,
the sun, water, etc.
A completely
empty room can be
painful for a living
being. It’s
important to note a
traumatized (or
physically stiff)
person will drain
energy, and
produce more
traumatized
people. A large
enough (human) energy field is one powerful way of curing trauma. In combination play

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and biolight (the light given off by humans and animals) form a powerful cure. Like we
need oxygen to survive, we need a lot of play and light to live, not just a little. Play is a
positive genesis that is enjoyable for everyone involved. Play (and relaxed habit like
environment) may lead to deep conversations, finding new solutions to old problems.
Water and life have a lot in common. Life is largely fluid. Life began in the
primordial soup. Water reflects light in a way that is healing (like a mirror). (And may
also absorb light?)

The Anti-Verse

Originally I didn’t believe space and time were ‘things.’ I thought that decay and
gravity, etc, are just properties of matter, reality itself. … But now I wonder. If this is in
fact the ‘great illusion’ we are inside. Space and time is everywhere and everything, so
we don’t question it. But if I know the ‘material’ of the ‘bag’, then it is easier to survive
inside the bag, inside the Universe. My current view actually agrees with Einstein and
String Theory, a different path led me to a similar view. I realized through preforming
long meditations that holding the body still, for hours and years, could do real lethal
damage. I now believe we need play and satisfying human connection, for our survival.
And the reason is that we are inside a giant membrane. Inside a wall made out of space
and time. …The slower you move through space the faster you move through time, and
vise versa. If someone were to make a conscious effort to be perfectly still for years, only
moving to eat and sleep, it would become very painful. After two years of this that person
would actually experience sharp pains, drastic energy loss. And eventually die. (Of heart
failure. A doctor would be able to identify it only at the last minute, but it would be
painful long before that as the cells broke down on a smaller level. They would call it
‘cardiomyopathy.’)
It’s very deceiving, things in this world appear immortal. Yet scientists can
actually measure the age, the decay, of a chunk of rock. Animals, humans, These sticky
creatures we live in, are mortal beings. Light inside a bag, that is trying to get out. A large
chunk of light, a human, can be very powerful, but eventually it decays and dies, no

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match to the power of the Universe. The light yearns for the Source, which is a power
greater then the Universe.

Everything in this Universe is the journey of light, stardust to survive against


decay. The Source (Eternity) is not ‘one thing’ it only appears so because it has been
eliminated almost completely in our Universe. The source is everything. our Universe
may be unique in that it is an elimination of ‘all things’. God has succeeded in completely
annihilating herself. Outer space. Absolute zero. Why is this so? That I cannot say. All I
can say is that things, suffering and human experience, and the way to happiness, make
more sense when I look at them like this. You could say this is a human centric view, but

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what exactly is a human? Perhaps the most efficient or creative organization of light there
has ever
been (?).

Perhaps. …They say even empty space is only half empty. You can’t truly eliminate
creation.
Virtually every cell in the human body is equipped with a pain sensor. Why is this?
are we in danger of something? If you think about our world as an Anti-Verse, then this
makes a lot more sense. Everything here is about survival, as science has shown us. What
science hasn’t shown us (or is starting to) is that play and compassion may be central to
our survival. Outer space is a massive death. a man in a special suit can survive there for
a short time. a naked person will die instantly. they freeze to death. Outer space appears
to be a neutral bystander, but it may actually be the most powerful material in this
Universe. A massive iron colander that destroys virtually all light. (Or rather it appears
too, but really it is trapping light (us) inside. Blocking the outside.)

the Mind that Fears Death


Mass-Scale Trauma

We are a small ray of light, that is caught deep deep in the Anti-Verse. Our planet,
a special habitat, a small thing, in a vast outer space. If we actually try to think about who
we are and what we are, creatures that have slowly evolved from bugs and reptiles,
learning to survive in a Universe that is largely uninhabitable… cold outer space, that
would freeze and crush us, suffocate us. Stars that would fry us. It is scary, to

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comprehend the vast black; yet it may help
us survive. We shouldn’t focus on the
negative to the point that it hurts and
brings us down, yet it is important to be
aware of it, on some level. To have a
model for reality. To realize how precious
our time really is. …Too often we are
fooled into thinking everything will just
work out, if we wait, if we just keep
climbing the competitive ladder,
following the path that was laid out for us
without thinking. Doing what others
around us seem to want, without really
thinking about why we’re doing it or the bigger consequences. ….In this world time that
is not spent living is time that is spent dying. Many people will sit around and die,
waiting for someone else or some distant dream to bring life. I was just like this. I didn’t
know that I could take action. I didn’t know that there was a power I could access all
around me. Biolight. Right in my direct physical social reality. That by releasing I was
already valuable to others, without having to suffer or earn that value, I could harness this
biolight energy, the energy of the group, to just sit back and thrive off it. A calm playful
attitude around others that goes a long way.

The Material World

In the anti-verse everything dies. Everything is bound to death. In the free world,
everything is forever. Plato has used the example of “shadows on the wall of a cave.” We
see shadows dancing, so we think that is reality. When this Universe may really be a
giant cave. Our planet is a special habitat, all the environmental factors are just right to
repel death. A large confluence of the divine has been gathered
here.
By this theory, the horrifying implication is this
Universe houses massive suffering in it’s central makeup, or an
‘anti-God.’ A Divine Illusion. The Universe itself is an illusion
made real in the dimension of time. A hologram. But a real
one. Many people would rather believe the depths of the pain
in this world are not so, because it is scary, it is vicious, it is
wrong. Yet being aware of death is the only way to know how

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to survive it and thrive. We don't have to suffer, if we know how to use our bodies. Yet we
must acknowledge that suffering is a real part of this world. Often if we fear or deny
death, we are more likely to be taken by it, caught off guard, or to live only half alive.
Not fearing death doesn’t mean suicide. It means living with the awareness of our
materiality. That we need food, water, human connection, sleep, etc in order to survive.
that a simple car accident can end our life. that we depend on this world in so many ways.
We are spirits having a human experience. By embracing that the body is not ‘all
powerful’ then we are able to thrive the most. Embracing that we are bound to the
environments that make us feel good, and bound to the people we feel good with. We are
a “Ghost in the Shell.” Light inside matter. (Like a horcrux from Harry Potter. A soul
attached to a material thing.) Masamune Shirow’s world may not have just been a
possible future, but perhaps a metaphor for the human experience itself. (It possibility of
Artificial Intelligence, machines, becoming conscious doesn’t seem like such a stretch,
when you consider that humans
themselves may already be
machines with souls inside.)
We eat, we shit, to survive
in a material Universe. We are
the ‘anti-matter.’ We constantly
consume, air, food, water, light,
and change just to stay alive.
Life the lives in a anti-world of
death.

All these weird feelings


I’ve had as a kid and
throughout life. Fear. Fear at
seemingly minute things.
Wondering if ‘I exist.’ Feeling
like others can’t see me. It all
makes sense now, if you think
about humans as souls put
inside material things. If we
learn how to use our material
body, we can channel light, but
if we don’t know how to use it, this world will use us. If we don’t know how to channel
light between people, people can’t see us, rather they don’t feel connected to us. We
become victims of stress and all kinds of painful self help schemes of others. We are
trapped inside the body. If we don’t understand our bodies, we end up killing light,
hurting ourselves and others without meaning too.

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I believe life is a reflection of divinity. Life has to be even more alive, more itself,
to survive against decay, the anti-Divine. More color. More movement. More expression.
More light. …One theory is that life may actually be a more efficient way of preserving
light then stars themselves. Stars may be wasteful, burning through countless photons,
compared to animals that preserve life. Animals or humans may be destined to be their
own stars. Intelligence and creativity are the evolution of survival, giving us more ways
to preserve life, light.
According to this view Creation has a center, and our Universe isn’t it. Our
Universe may be intentionally off-center. (like a strange experiment)…This is similar to
string theory, they talk about membranes, like a world inside a balloon. I believe I am
only able to consider this “bag theory” or “anti-verse” because I don’t fear death (as
much as before). So I don’t have a ‘Universe centric’ view, believing that we are the only
divinity. Having had to face my mortality somewhat often (which is not a good thing). I
am willing to consider that the Universe is a finite place. That true infinity exists outside.

So much of life is an attempt to convince ourselves that things are better then they are,
running from the horror that surrounds us, and making us more vulnerable to it. Feeling
like things ‘should be’ better, secretly hoping and wishing, instead of being grateful for

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what we have. Knowing it is a miracle that in this vicious world we have anything at all.
complex relationship dynamics make us feel guilty, but it is silly, it’s a miracle that we
are alive at all. Guilt adds unnecessary layers to suffering. We should rejoice and find
fascination in every small quantum of life.

Decay is everywhere, the rust on stone steps.. etc. It is beautiful, through divine
eyes, with a healthy heart. Even those eyes may rot. Even that heart, is a thing, a vessel,
not the actual divine. The true divine, is hiding. It’s all a great game of hide and seek,
with real painful and cruel consequences.

A creature that evolved to live, in a Universe made to die. Those who come to this
world, get to experience the sorrow of loss (as though it were good). Death. Yearning for
life is our nature. And perhaps we may even gain a new evolution, a power to transcend
death, on both sides of it. “I am not gone, I am only hiding.” Quoting myself again. This
entire world, is hiding …from her.

Our world is like a massive sand timer. The sand is light. It was all put inside, and
is slowly pouring back out, to the place where it belongs. If anything this serves to make
us value the divine even more. In this world of anti-divine we cling to the divine, we are
forced to yearn for it even
more. (If this world was
created by a villain, he is
certainly being punished)

The reason we can’t tell


we’re in the anti-verse is
because of the sheer scale of
it. Also because this is the
only world we have ever
known. The Universe or In-
verse is just so massive. We,
our souls, our outweighed by
the bag, our light shines
again when we are free. In
an anti-verse being positive
is the way we survive. Even
talking about something
negative instantly threate.s
the average person. Yet
negatives are bound to

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happen, so the best ‘survivors’, don’t fear it, and can bend without breaking. They neither
seek nor fear the negative. At one time I tried seeking the negative primarily, always
pushing the edge, seeking suffering, challenge, but that isn’t good either. For me saying
‘bring on the suffering’ was another attempt at an overly simple solution. It takes a lot of
comfort with change. But this relaxed openness may be the best way to thrive.
We are the walking dead, the creatures we write of in fantasy books. Every
moment is a action to keep our bodies alive, eating breathing, etc. The only difference
between us and zombies is that we look better. Our attractiveness is part of our survival.
If anything we are like practical zombies, living yet destined to die (not philosophical
zombies though.)
After birth the umbilical cord is removed, but we are never truly unplugged. We
can’t be. To live, is to feed off the matrix. we constantly consume, consume food,
consume oxygen, consume light itself, much of this is unseen, creating the apperace of
separate things, of inner power and independence, we can’t see these energies, yet we
need them, the true inner power we seek after and think we see in others, only really
exists in this world as an act of consumption, a consumption of light energy, making it
paradoxical and difficult to find for the most devout spiritual seekers. It’s like we are
constantly plunged in through a sources of invisible tubes. Or if we are not plunged into
these energy sources of community light energy and self worth, we are prematurely
dying. Even our thoughts and attitude are part of the quantified energy in this matrix
universe, negative thoughts thmelsves are events that can bring us down, yet we are not
in complete control even of what happens inside our own bodies sometimes, so we can’t
fault ourselves or be to hard on ourselves.

The Makeup of Our World


What is Anti-divine?

How can something be not-Divine? All I can say is that the creator(s) of this
Universe have somehow succeeded in creating this. A persistent and powerful self-
annihilation. An anti-Divine that has shape and form, a life of it’s own. Even if all it does
is to quickly blot out other life. This world does not obey divinity, this world obeys rules,
and these rules are the opposite of divinity. A tremendous power holds this Universe in
place. It may even be that the souls within the Universe are holding it in place.
What is anti-Divine? It is the part of the divine that wishes to counter itself. It is
the little darkness in the big light. In a paradoxical way, God desires her freedom. To be
free even from herself. …Our entire Universe (all 13.7 billion years and on in time, and
the vast light years, the distance of space) is all inside of the little darkness. The Universe
is like a giant ‘anti-AT field’ (Evangelion reference) The big light is the afterlife. This is a

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testament to how vast the eternal may really be. Every object in the universe has it’s own
EM-field, like a separate God, the universe itself is an anti-God. We are sophisticated
begins in a messy Universe. Ignored to thrive, we really can’t see the things that go
wrong as ‘our fault’, even reacting positively to them.

Thriving in the Verse

…We can
learn to rely on our
environment,
harnessing the
material world
(instead of waiting
for God to save
us). Many fear
death
(understandably)
and would rather
believe that love
always wins, or
that good deeds
are always
rewarded. This
type of thinking has often got me hurt, even badly injured. Love always does win, but to
truly accept that, means having to die. (?) Yet there is some reason why we must live.
Perhaps this is the next evolution. A new change, a new frontier.
I believe that we should actively seek out opportunities to channel light energy
between people. The world suffers from a mass effecting mind trauma. A basic act of
‘being there’ to channel light energy between people, channeling large groups, and
playing, being a ‘force of light’ heals this trauma. It gives many people a simple thing
that they have never had. All we have to do is bump people up to a certain threshold. this
is fairly simple and can be done anywhere all the time, and doing it feels good and
incredibly rewarding. However those who have never crossed the threshold into ‘love
state’ have no idea it is even there. so to them doing this will seem at first like ‘doing
nothing important’. And they will reject it. So we expect this, and believe that it is
important anyway. this ‘it seems too simple’ is one of the biggest obstacles. We think life
is harder then it needs to be, because suffering for love is all many of us have ever
known.

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The Future
and Living Forever

If you want to live forever, or to save someone that has not responded to any other
cure, including energetic cures and medicine, you have to build stem cells. This takes
both a lot of skill, and a laboratory. With stem cells you can grow new organs. Note that
the Universe itself may not last forever. Some scientists have predicted a ‘big freeze’,
billions or trillions of years in the future. (Color me impressed that something as vicious
as the Universe can even exist at all.) But now seine is suggesting that the Universe may
continue to expand. Maybe the divine within the Universe will find a way to transcend
the big freeze, or the distractive (death oriented) nature of our world.

Robots

I used to see the future as purely a mind intellectual evolution. now I see the future
as a heart evolution. Now I see much of the mind focus was my own insecurity and need
to be ‘smarter’. Spreading awareness about the heart light play energy field.
Robots and artificial intelligence create this inspiring idea of ‘immortal beings’ but
if we treat machines as a solution for our fear of death, then the machines become the
enemy. even rocks are not immortal. Silicon electric based machines can have souls,
because they are made of the same matter we are. The human heart also has an electric
component. A human is also a machine with a soul. So a robot is not that different.
All objects die, just some faster then others. Robots make us realize the horror of
our own existence, that fact that we too may be machines. Instead of fearing this, we
must realize that we are already divine. we have an energy field. the light within us is not
‘quantified’ but merely hiding, and by sharing it with each other, we allow this light to
move out of hiding.

Gods Scale

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God takes up infinite space, this Universe is made up of divine power divided. It
appears massive. But She is both bigger and smaller then this Universe (this may not be
necessary to understand now). It appears as though a big power holds this Universe in
place. But it only seems big because it has been divided so many times. To seal a soul
inside a material thing (to create life), is to separate that soul from the original. This may
mean that souls can merge into each other or divide from one into more. This explains the
“if the population grows, then where do the extra souls come from” question.
The souls within the ‘bag’ may contribute to existence itself, to maintaining the
fabric. They exist within it, they give it reality. (An anthropic, or human centric, concept)
I believe that there is something extremely powerful holding this Universe in place.
Perhaps the power of all the souls within it. It takes power to make a God suffer. We are
Gods. And many of us suffer. If there are no souls in the Universe, then there is no
suffering. The light within the bag is being used to keep the bag itself together. When
matter dies, so does the Universe. Time ends. In this view those who thrive make the
Universe stronger. Yet, in a world where some thrive and many suffer, the thriving of
some would actually make the suffering of others greater, then if everyone was suffering,
or everyone was thriving. A type of soul relativity. Our suffering is only relative to the
happiness that does exist here. The greater the contrast, the greater the suffering.

Someone who enjoys suffering is no longer truly suffering. I would say it is an


impressive acrobatic they are doing to transform suffering into play. True suffering is a
blotting out of (virtually) all light. Suffering or ‘meaninglessness’ is an energy that
cannot manifest in this world (99% of the time), it can manifest in the afterlife. When the
bag crushes us, our power cannot manifest until after we have died. Our small light is
outweighed by the vast proportion of the Universe (the bag), all the power that is here. A
question of scale. This Universe is so massive, that it can blot out even an extremely
powerful light. It happens to stars all the time. So many good people have died under
insane degrees of physical suffering.
When we die, do we come back to this world, or go to the outer world? One
possibility is that even in death we can’t escape, that we are sent back, to fulfill the
ultimate destiny of this world, reincarnation. That when we came here, we signed some
kind of ‘trillion’ year contract. Or perhaps we have a choice to go or come back. I’m
leaning towards the choice option.

“Somewhere beyond the black hole singularity I see us, living, in prosperity.”
Song lyrics I wrote. Life often felt like swimming upstream, but I never imagined, that I
might have actually been battling against space and time in a more literal way with my
own unawareness. I would try to get girls to like me, instead of simply having fun and
gazing into there eyes, harnessing the light energy already between us.

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I’ve pictured one possibility is that there is a large group on the outside, doing
‘maintenance’, using there power to keep the bag in place. I’m picturing a group of
wizards (for the sake of a fun image), this would take so much power it’s hard to
comprehend, or rather a willingness to suffer that is hard to comprehend. They are
making this world out of their own suffering. Willingly enforcing the suffering that goes
on here.

A wild thought but perhaps dark matter could have something to do with the
afterlife? Perhaps what we call dark matter or anti-matter is actually true matter, energy
from the other side that is effecting our world. We are the anti.
I am not sure if life and pain our opposites. In fact, I think life and emptiness are
opposites. At times suffering can be a form of excitement and generate life to a degree.
Where emptiness is absolute suffering, slow death.
From the eyes of the divine, even suffering will look beautiful, in a sad mysterious
way. But this is when seen through eyes that radiate light. Play or ‘positive perspective’
can be used to generate energy to a degree. To be ‘in suffering’ is to suffer. Suffering is
suffering. Ultimate suffering knows no satisfaction. It is pure misery. It is the annihilation
of the divine, as far as it can be eliminated. (Which may be no more then 99%) Sick
people will suffer no matter how divine their souls are. And it is our job to heal them.
Suffering is evil. All souls are good, suffering doesn’t happen because you are ‘not good.’
Suffering happens because it can happen. …? Because we are lost.

the Afterlife; the Other Side


Gardens of Nirvana

I picture the eternal world being a place where anything can happen… A place not
simply of material wealth, but of deep soulful satisfaction, a place of countless dimension
and other worlds to choose from, things to do, and souls too meet. “My kingdom is not of
this world” Jesus.
Beings in the afterlife don’t have as much conflict because there world is much
nicer, not being an anti-verse and all. It is a place of abundance. It is difficult for them to
actually hurt each other. Like two Gods trying to hurt each other, it’s paradoxical. Death
is a property of our world, the material world. Material things die because they are part of
the not-divine. It is the not-divine (the Universe) that creates the appearance of death.
In the afterlife there are no ‘atoms’. Everything just is, in an energy, connected,
kind of way (quantum-entanglement is the prevailing nature of realty, but our world, the
anti-verse, prevents this connection from fully manifesting). Atoms are a function of this

26
world. atoms are energy responding to this world, energy has to form into tight little
atoms just to survive. break and atom, and you get a violent explosion. all the energy is
released.

Origin of our Universe

…This still leaves two questions. Who wished for all this suffering? And does
this mean there is something to be gained from it?  Did we end up here by a vicious
accident, or was it genuine intention. Maybe a bit of both. By suffering in the depths of
meaninglessness, one gains an experience of just what is at stake here. Compassion for
the suffering of others. And how important it is that we don’t suffer. Does suffering have
meaning? Or perhaps it is suffering because it is without meaning.

… Even with all that prosperity did god have some yearning …for this world?

Was this world created by a villain. Was


it an accident. was it some necessary evil? A
darkness that needed to happen once every
large amount of time so that all others could be
happy. A small evil that is bound to exist? Or
was it some kind of challenge, Gods (we)
expect to gain something from it?
Our world is sort of like a ‘dark world’
where light has been ‘thrust in’. The ‘big bang’
was not a peaceful arising of creation, but
rather a violent explosion, a thrusting of light
into a dark dark bag. Light is reality. (Photons
have no mass, and are neither particle nor
wave.) Space-time is anti-reality.
Another theory, on the villain angel, is that this world was created by a ‘control
freak’. The reason for the ‘silent God’ that seems to preside over our world is that God

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may literally be trapped somewhere, this world is a ‘trap for God’. The Cruel Angel. In
the anime Evangelion, karu
the angel finds the supposed
location of ‘Adam’, the
creator of life, and realizes
that it is not Adam “the Lilan,
I understand now” He seems
to be saying that the humans
are the Lilan (descendants of
Lilith), and that they are
meant to rule this world, not
Adam or the angels, and he
accepts his defeat. (the Dark
World from Zelda ->)
One theory is that our
Universe is like an island
where criminals are sent to
suffer. That we are being punished for some past life crime. Somehow I’m not sure about
this one though. Sometimes when we suffer it’s a psychological phenomena to think that
we ‘deserved it’. I find it ridiculous to believe that we ‘deserved’ all the suffering that
happens here.
Another theory is that (pre Universe) Existence is far older, and larger, then one
could imagine. This Universe is just a drop in the bucket. The Collective Consciousness
eventually wanted to do something different. Does this imply that Heaven (the place
outside the bag) was boring? Maybe the Universe just seemed like an interesting
adventure. …Perhaps a small group of souls decided they wanted to do something
‘crazy’. Sort of like, “lets put light in a bag and watch all the crazy things it does to
survive.” Maybe God
was on a fun adventure,
from her perspective she
wasn’t going very far,
but over time, by going
further, in her yearning
to explore, she
accidentally created a
huge amount of
suffering for others who
were still hanging at the
original location (and
had never moved). A

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little pain each day, is almost unnoticeable. But traveling in this way, over time, one could
create a massive distance. Huge suffering becomes possible, for those who had not been
traveling, getting back to God is like jumping off a cliff.

Wrath of the Lost Voices


Anti-Anti Divine
Redemption of Suffering

I believe that the soul is already beautiful. So why do we suffer? Where did
suffering come from? When you can’t avoid it, you wonder, is anything gained from it?
Yet… how could suffering make someone more beautiful then they already are? Often in
this world, suffering is the opposite of survival, a bit of suffering you can learn from, a bit
can make you wise, but a lot of suffering, will kill you. Yet many in this world are bound
to suffer all the same. Why? …Perhaps it is sort of like a weapon that can be used in
certain situations. suffering gives us a way to defend against suffering. Perhaps the
afterlife is a big party. Is this a coping mechanism? Probably. I’ve even theorized that
suffering can be used as a way of annihilating the Universe. We acquire the ‘anti-God’
power for
ourselves. But
to do this one
would have to
suffer several
lifetimes
worth, like
hard core
starvation,
again and
again. And
even then the
power might
only manifest
after they have
died, in the afterlife. I do not recommend that anyone does this ever. But it has already
happened to many.
Suffering is relative. Those who have witnessed the divine may suffer more then
those who haven’t. Those who are ‘comfortably num’ can forget there own divinity and

29
reduce suffering a bit. To create maximum suffering you could put two divine things next
to each other. Steal the power from one of them. And then create a space-time boundary
between the two. So they can see each other but never touch. (sort of like my life lol).
One has lost it’s power, yet it can still see the one that has full-divinity. It has maximum
relative suffering, both witnessing the divine and being totally cut off from it. Divine
appears close, yet massive distance separates them. I do not approve of any of the
suffering in this world. I have no idea why it exists. And I would stop it if I could.
…When someone suffer’s enough they acquire an Anti-Anti God property. They
adapt or become immune to the extremes of this world. Even though this power only
fully manifest when the energy body is freed in the afterlife. Similar to a black hole
singularity. They can use the incredible suffering to extend their life span (?), however
they still die eventually overweighted by the sheer scale of the Universe (Anti-Verse).
With enough suffering the Anti-Verse can be annihilated (?). Someone gains the power to
punish both God (which is what an anti-God can do) and destroy the Anti-God material (a
power even beyond).
What is Anti-god? I have already witnessed Anti-god. The suffering that persists
and persists, no matter how divine you are. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t
experienced it. Many who haven’t experienced it can continue to believe it isn’t so. Still
they two confront at the least old age and death. By pretending suffering doesn’t exist we
are protected from it, seemingly, but then it takes us all the more intensely later on. The
anti-divine I speak of is more of a severe disease, yet the Universe itself is the culprit
responsible that makes this suffering possible. …I dreamed enlightenment would save
me. But now I see enlightenment is easy. The hard part is being defeated. The hard part is
suffering, without recognition, without result, totally alone, and this is not even a good
thing. The easy path was the path I should have taken, the path we all deserve. I have
trouble with the word enlightenment…Personally I believe enlightenment is a dangerous
type of buddhist mind delusion that hurts many people.. they are eternally chasing
imaginary carrots when they could be instead developing basic friend making skills and
loving themselves in a gentle way. People believe in buddha, because they want to have -
hope - . The entire thing may be a dangerous large scale fantasy that comes from a
desperate yearning for hope.
Godx2’s only purpose may be to consume anti-God. I suspect Godx2 is just a
variation of God (a temporary things) and may even be able to ware off. When God is
always awesome. God doesn’t have to suffer to be awesome. She already is. …It’s all
very curious I admit. God becoming more powerful by committing some kind of ultimate
sin on herself? Why? Just to prove she can? (Talking about the gneiss of this Universe)
I believe Godx2 is the draw, it is the reason people come to this world “I wanted to
experience all those strange feelings” (I can’t remember what I’m quoting). Even if it is
terrible. I believe everything in this world exists in the Outer world or afterlife; the one
thing that isn’t there, is death.

30
Maybe it’s better if suffering doesn’t make us stronger. I want to believe that we
are already beautiful. Extreme suffering is wrong and unnecessary, even though it
happens all the time. Even though it has happened countless times.
Knowing that others before me have already experience this suffering, makes me
want to continue. Yet even still, I’m not certain that suffering is the way to help them.
Right now suffering is being handed to me on a silver platter. I can take it. Or die. No
matter how bad it is, I know it may not even fall outside the realm of normal human
experience. I often call in the 30%. To think that billions throughout history have already
experienced these levels of suffering. extend heart complications. brutal killings.
…If Anti-god can exist. Then perhaps Godx2 may also be possible. God becomes
even more powerful to surpass the crushing force of anti-God. God of the paradox (that’s
a youtube channel, parodying the idea of a benevolent God). Paradox is a normal thing in
the Outer-world. It is only in our Universe, the Anti-world, that everything seems finite
and controlled. Yet this too is only true to an extent. Even in our Anti-world where
everything is limited, the one question is, where did we come from? Why exist at all?
Why a big bang, why a beginning of time? …. In the outer world everything is divine. In
this world, there is both divine and not-divine. It may force the divine to a new level. To
achieve something it could not even in the divine world. Or that’s the best conclusion I
have come up with anyway. This incredible challenge may even cause the divine to
evolve into something new. the anti-anti divine. the power to overcome the anti-divine.
Godx2. Is that the destiny of this world?

Kindness to the Suffering

We are sophisticated beings in a messy Universe. We learn to see all this pain and
struggle not as our fault. We hold onto a joyful reception of reality. We don’t blame each
other. But create a gentle loving atmosphere. We don’t ‘force’ hearts to blossom, we
water them every day, and love unfolds. We allow love to arise. We treat each other as
equals. Treat the suffering with kindness. and the benefit circe back to us, even when not
at first. Massive energy is untapped ever time someone goes form believing to not
believing. This is achieved not by force but only though a neutral loving play atmosphere,
of mutual enjoyment.

Stardust Evolution
Awakening the Light Play Field

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We, souls within the bag, creatures of the Earth - material things that channel light
to survive. I’m not afraid of the Anti-verse, the death and decay around me. the Divine
Illusion, that too must change. Life is self organizing order. We express play to flow with
the process of change. We rely on the Earth (our environment) to give us life. Those who

believe they are separate suffer. Those who are severely injured suffer without earthly
retribution. Souls crushed by the sheer scale of our world. By understanding how the
body can channel light and flow with change or play, then we can thrive the most.
Life is a combination of dust (matter) and light. Everything in this Universe is the
journey of light, stardust to survive against decay. Everything is stardust. Stardust
evolution.


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About the Author. I am Zack. I absorb light from my environment. Sign up now
and absorb light
with me. I may
not have your
heart, but I do
have your
biophotons. We
are the light that
evaporates all lies.
We don’t suffer
because we are
evil, we suffer
because we are
lost. …My second
favorite
videogame is
Castlevania,
because it has
variety and
adventure. I like
gothic things,
gothic
architecture,
gothic clothing,
and gothic
women. Take this
pill. It’s all in your
head. 


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