Professional Documents
Culture Documents
The samples below are papers by students, unless specifically noted. They are examples of "A" level
undergraduate writing or entry-level professional work. To get a better idea of how this type of paper is
written, you will want to look at all the samples. Then compare the samples to each other and to what the
"Basics" part of this chapter says.
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author.
Unless otherwise noted, sample papers do not necessarily meet all requirements an individual instructor
or professional supervisor may have: ask your instructor or supervisor. In addition, the samples single
spaced to save room; however, a proper manuscript given to an instructor or supervisor normally should
be double spaced with margins set at or close to 1" unless another format has been requested.
SPECIAL NOTES: This short, rough-draft critical review examines only one short, argumentative essay
and has no other sources.
University of Minnesota
Eng 3027, Advanced Expository Writing
Critical Review
© 2001 by Petter Woll
Review of "Condom use will increase the spread of AIDS"
by Petter Woll
Introduction
The use of condoms to prevent unwanted pregnancies and, even more important, the spread of
sexual transmitted diseases (STDs) has been controversial. This critical review examines an article that
links condom usage to the spread of AIDS. The article, "Condom use will increase the spread of AIDS,"
was written by Anthony Zimmerman, a Catholic priest. As the title of the article indicates, the author is
against the use of condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS and other STDs. In fact, he claims that
teaching children how to use condoms will eventually increase the spread of AIDS. Although the author
has some good points, his article is biased and contains some misinterpretation of data from others’
analysis of the effectiveness of the condom.
Summary
This sections contains a summary of the article "Condom use will increase the spread of AIDS." In
his introduction, Zimmerman says that condom usage "may break its [AIDS] spread in the short run; but
accelerates its spread in the long run" (p. 111). He bases his conclusion on an analysis done for the
World Health Organization (WHO) published in Population Reports. The results from this analysis
indicated that condoms users have a one-third lower risk for acquiring STDs compared to non-condom
users. This, however, provides small comfort for the author. He says that using a condom is like playing
Russian roulette.
There are two reasons why condom usage will increase the spread of AIDS. Firstly, the promotion
of condoms by the authorities, like teachers and health workers, increases sexual promiscuousity. This
leads to miseducation of adolescents, breaking down their natural and cultural barriers against sex before
marriage. Secondly, condom usage promotes a false sense of security and a pseudo-responsibility.
According to the author, the most prevalent HIV virus is the one that spreads more easily through
sodomitic (anal) intercourse among homosexual men. However, if today’s trend continues, the African
type, which spreads through heterosexual intercourse, "may strike our schools like the atom bombs which
devastated Nagasaki and Hiroshima" (p.113).
In his conclusion, the author draws parallels to the Black Death that haunted Europe during the
fourteenth century. This is the scenario he pictures if schools promote sexual education. It is already
happening in Uganda, he says, where AIDS is endemic.
Arguments
This section looks into the author’s arguments and what these arguments mean to the general
population. In addition, counterarguments from the public and professional spheres are contrasted with
those of the author.
AUTHOR’S ARGUMENTS AND IMPLICATIONS
The main purpose for the article written by Zimmerman is to abolish the promotion of condom use
in the society. He argues for this by saying that promotion of condom use will increase the spread of
AIDS. According to the author, there are two reasons for this. One is that the promotion of condom usage
will increase sexual immorality: that is, more sex before marriage. If people are more frequently exposed
to sex, they will have sex earlier in adolescence, compared to if they are exposed less frequently.
Exposure increases the risk of acquiring HIV and, thus, developing AIDS. The other reason why condom
usage will increase the spread of AIDS is that it leads to a false sense of security and something the
author calls pseudo-responsibility. People, he says, who promote condom usage advertise condoms as
reducing the risk of transmitting HIV. This, according to the author, misleads ordinarily people to think that
all sex is safe, and therefore it increases their sexual behavior.
The implication of the author’s arguments is that to reduce the spread of AIDS and avoid a future
catastrophe having the same devastating effects as the black plague in Europe on the 14 th century,
promotion of condom use must be stopped.
CONTRASTING OPINIONS
Zimmerman has a very moralistic view on sexuality that is not compatible with the public’s view.
The trend today is that young people start having sex earlier than before. Also, there are few people who
wait to have sex until they are married. This trend was illustrated by the controversial movie, "Kids," made
by a sixteen-year-old American boy, which has been highly debated by health workers.
The view on condoms in the sphere of public health is that they are our best means of reducing
the spread of sexual transmitted infections like HIV. In one study that looked at the transmission rate
among heterosexual partners with one partner infected by HIV, among the 123 couples that consistently
used condoms, none of the partners became infected, whereas 12 of the 122 who didn’t consistently use
condoms became infected.
For optimum effect in using a condom, correct use and storage is a necessity. Therefore, health
workers travel around to schools to teach adolescents to use condoms correctly. This method belongs to
the principles of harm reduction, which says: "You should not use, but if you do…." Several studies have
confirmed that up to the present time, this is the most effective method for preventing the spread of STDs.
Some people go as far as to say that condoms should be made as common as toothpaste and toilet
paper, in order to protect us against infections.
Evaluation
This section contains an evaluation of the article. Firstly, the author’s arguments appear to be
biased towards his Christian beliefs. He is a Catholic priest and has a very moralistic view of sex. In his
opinion, sex before marriage is immoral. A minority in the American population would support this kind of
view. His views on sexuality are, in short, not consistent with current views within the population.
Furthermore, he shows prejudice against homosexuals and Africans. He holds these two groups as the
source of the HIV virus. The fact that the virus is more prevalent in these two groups does not mean that
they are the source of the spread. In his article he says that "the ghetto of sodomites is going into
extinction, and that could lead to the extinction of AIDS." This is an extremely prejudiced statement, and it
has parallels to Hitler’s statements about Jews: if we eliminate all the homosexuals, we can get rid of
AIDS.
Another negative point about this article is that it is very argumentative with little support. The
author throws out statements, giving no evidence or supporting details for them. This is bad writing, and
the author loses his creditability.
Finally, he misinterprets information from other data and gives the wrong information or only parts
of the truth. The data from the analysis done for the WHO indicate that condoms significantly decrease
the risk of transmitting HIV. However, Zimmerman overlooks this, and instead interprets it to show that
condoms increase the spread of HIV. Furthermore, he refers to the endemic situation in Uganda, and
claims that this is the situation we are going to experience in the future if the promotion of condoms
continues. What he fails to mention is that the situation in Uganda could have been avoided with the
promotion of condoms. The number one cause of the spread of HIV is unprotected sex, and with the
correct use of condoms, the spread can effectively be reduced.
Conclusion
This critical review has evaluated the article "Condom use will increase the spread of AIDS" by
Anthony Zimmerman. The arguments in the article show the presence of bias, prejudice, argumentative
writing without supporting details, and misinformation. These points weaken the author’s arguments and
reduce his credibility.
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SPECIAL NOTES: This critical review examines three essays and has additional sources.
University of Minnesota
Eng 3027, Advanced Expository Writing
Critical Review
© 2000 by Sarah Pearson
A Critical Review of Three Articles on Music and Feminist Pedagogy
by Sarah Pearson
Introduction
The importance of feminism in music has come to the forefront in many colleges and
universities. However, for several reasons, one of which is that scholars hold differing views on the
relevancy and appropriateness of feminism in the musical realm, feminism has not been included as
quickly in music as in other fields. Neuls-Bates offers another reason for this lack of speed: "The
discipline of women's studies has been slower to develop in the field of music . . . mainly because of the
necessary, time-consuming tasks involved in obtaining performances of composer's works" (265). In
other words, music is slow to incorporate women’s studies because of the intense effort required to
change an already well-respected, dependable curriculum. This critical review will examine three different
articles on this issue and evaluate their contents based on a set of criteria. Each of the articles, published
in College Music Symposium, is written from a feminist viewpoint. The authors discuss the importance of
including a feminist curriculum within the college setting, noting the positive benefits of using it in the
classroom. Their main argument is that not enough of this type of teaching is being used in
conservatories. One article is well written with supporting details and potential solutions, while the other
two include only general observations and offer no solutions.
Background
Some background about this issue is useful. Prior to the 1970’s, white middle- and upper- class
males dominated colleges. Because of this, women’s issues often were ignored. In the early 1970's,
joint efforts were made by women across the country to try to persuade colleges and universities to
incorporate women’s issues into their curriculum. They felt that this incorporation would fill a vacancy for
women attempting to earn a degree. Many people believed that exploring the numerous ways women
helped to shape society would result in higher self-esteem among women and give them a better
understanding of the world. Slowly the schools began implementing programs for women and started
using textbooks that focused more attention on women’s achievements in particular fields. Currently
many departments within colleges have at least a small part of their curriculum devoted to women.
Feminists spent countless hours convincing departments to add these issues. It has particularly been a
struggle for both feminists and music departments to agree on what subjects should or should not be
included in an already well-established field.
Summary
A summary of the articles shows that the first one, "Feminist Scholarship and the Field of
Musicology: I" by Jane M. Bowers, discusses the issues of feminism and its place in music. Published in
College Music Symposium, this article focuses on the subject of music history. Bowers argues that the
"great" male composers dominate music history, and almost nothing is said about women
composers. That music history lacks a feminist viewpoint is not surprising, she argues, as nearly all the
disciplines in the arts have little emphasis on women’s issues. One reason for the void is that many
scholars have felt that it was not suitable to incorporate women’s issues into their particular field.
According to Bowers, "[T]he scope of musicology is . . . not defined by lived social realities, and hence its
purview, like those of philosophy and literature, is similarly less suited to the incorporation of women . . ."
(83). She believes this presents a dilemma to feminists, who must now explain why women’s studies are
relevant to music. Bowers goes on to discuss historical ideas about women and their function in music.
She cites recent discoveries about the influence of women musicians in the nineteenth century. In her
conclusion she restates the argument that there is a lack of research and studies being done on women
in music. She suggests searching for ways to emphasize women’s compositions by focusing on the
differences between men and women’s compositional styles, and looking at the instrumental music of
women.
The second article, "Women, Women's Studies, Music and Musicology: Issues of Pedagogy and
Scholarship" by Susan Cook, also focuses on the importance of including women in research. Also
published in College Music Symposium, this article contends that women's studies need to be included in
more music courses. Because of a lack of research of women in music, teachers are unable to integrate
the subject into their curriculum. Even with some research available, professors are unsure how to use it.
According to Woods, whom Cook quotes, "We continue to operate within a conservative methodology,
whether compensatory or contributory, that is not necessarily feminist and not specifically female. Rather
it tends to relate and relocate women to the accepted canon of great artists and great works" (95). Instead
of incorporating women into the canon, Cook believes professors are pushing them to the fringes,
including them only when time will allow. Cook then mentions numerous studies done recently that have
helped advance feminist ideas in the classroom. She feels this is a start, but much more research is
needed in order to push professors into using the information in their lectures.
Cook also discusses ways in which feminism has changed teaching styles. She believes the
traditional lecture has begun to give way to an open forum, with the teacher leading the discussion. There
is also an emphasis on equality in all classroom situations: for example, teachers offer students more
freedom concerning grades, class management, and lecture (98).
The third article, also published in College Music Symposium, is "Application of Feminist
Pedagogy: An Introduction to the Issues" by Barbara Coeyman. It looks at ways of incorporating
feminism into the current curriculum. Unlike in the first two articles, the author does not emphasize
research and its importance to changing the curriculum; rather, she focuses on possible outcomes if
feminism is applied in the classroom. Her main argument is that the current music curriculum can be
enhanced and can lead to an enlightened classroom if feminism is applied.
Throughout the article, Coeyman attempts to justify feminist pedagogy by contrasting it to
traditional teaching. She argues that "[traditional teaching] emphasizes formal constructions, static
content, and context-free artistic creation" (77), whereas feminist pedagogy emphasizes students'
creativity and encourages professors to become more involved in the actual learning process. Coeyman
further promotes feminist pedagogy by discussing its four main principles, which, according to her,
include diversity, a voice for everyone, responsibility, and application to real life situations. She suggests
several ways of applying these ideas through personalizing classroom lectures, including women
composers in the canon, and allowing students to "learn by doing" ( 83).
Analysis of Arguments
All three of these articles contain similar arguments about feminism and music education. First,
the authors believe that more feminist issues need to be incorporated into music classes. Second, they
imply that a music student’s education is not wholly complete without the feminist viewpoint. Lastly, Cook
and Coeyman argue that feminist pedagogy can unite students and faculty inside and outside of the
classroom.
More in Curriculum
First, each author states that music courses do not emphasize women’s issues enough and need
to begin incorporating more into the curriculum. Bowers states, "If more than scant attention were paid to
the interaction of music history with social history, as well as to the attempt to include music as an aspect
of and in relation to culture in the large-areas which are virtually neglected within musicology-women
would also become a more relevant subject for study" (84). By this statement Bowers shows her belief
that feminist ideas could be incorporated into music curriculum if scholars would exert a little more effort.
Both Cook and Coeyman agree with Bowers that most music courses do not place enough
emphasis on women. The main argument among instructors is that there is not enough research
available to be able to add it to the curriculum. However, according to others such as Neuls-Bates, "[A]t
the present time there are quite sufficient materials to implement courses about women in music . . ."
(Zaimont 265). Thus the authors' arguments in this regard have some validity.
Complete Education
Second, the authors imply that a student's education is not complete without the feminist
viewpoint. While neither directly state this, both Cook and Coeyman allude to this idea. Cook closes her
article by stating that feminist pedagogy can add to the overall musical experience (98). Coeyman follows
the same lines by stating that including feminism in the classroom can inspire both students and faculty
and can benefit the overall person (77, 85).
Bowers, unlike the first two, does not focus on the education aspect, yet she promotes this idea through
her constant emphasis on continued research of women. Commenting on a survey of articles focusing on
women, she states, "Their central concern was the degree to which research on women had achieved a
place in the mainstream of the disciplines where it had previously been absent" (81). This statement and
numerous others throughout the article show her belief that research is important and can improve the
overall education of a person.
All of these authors argue fervently that feminist ideas can enhance music students'
education. However, none offer any evidence that this is true.
Unity of Students and Faculty
Lastly, the articles by Cook and Coeyman offer the idea that feminist pedagogy can unite students
and faculty. They both propose this through discussion of alternative classroom teaching techniques.
Cook suggests that a more nontraditional lecture format can provide an encouraging atmosphere
in which students can learn. She states that nontraditional teachers can " help all students to find their
own answers and give birth to their own ideas" (97). Thus she is arguing that if teachers use feminist
methods, they will stimulate students to think for themselves and producing better communication in the
classroom.
Coeyman also argues that letting students become more involved in the classroom allows for
better communication between the professor and student, creating a feeling of shared power (83), again a
feminist method. By emphasizing these and other feminist methods, such as a relaxed, non-threatening
classroom experience, these authors promote the belief that feminist pedagogy can bring the professor
and student together.
Evaluation
Although all of these articles offer well-supported arguments, they also have weaknesses. At
times some of them appear to lack solid solutions to the problem, tend to show bias towards the feminist
viewpoint, and may exaggerate the oppression of women composers in music.
Lack of Solid Solutions
A lack of solid solutions appears to exist in Bowers' and Cook's articles. Bowers, in particular, fails
to offer a solid solution as to how to incorporate more feminist issues into the music history
curriculum. While she suggests alternatives to research within music, she omits discussing solutions to
changes in the current curriculum.
Like Bowers, Cook also neglects to provide any solutions to the problem. She focuses on the
differences between traditional teaching and feminist pedagogy, discussing possible types of alternative
teaching methods. Though she notes that change is necessary, she fails to offer suggestions as to how
these changes could be integrated into the classroom (98). In contrast to the first two articles, Coeyman
does focus on possible ways to begin incorporating feminism into music courses. She suggests using
women's compositions during lessons, offering non-musical courses that can amplify students' music
classes, and giving students a larger voice in how a class is run (83-84). Combined with some aspects of
traditional teaching, these methods could help enhance music students' education.
Bias
All three articles are also infused with a bias towards feminism. In her article, Bowers portrays this
bias when she states, "However inadvertent the neglect of women ensuing from these patterns of
musicological research, the result has perpetuated the myth of female insignificance" (83). Her use of the
words "neglect" and "female insignificance" show her strong feelings about feminist issues.
Cook and Coeyman use this same type of wording in their articles, but also show their bias
through ignoring the positives of traditional teaching. They comment only on the negative aspects,
making their suggestions seem more valid. Coeyman especially uses this tactic when she describes
ways to change traditional lecturing. For instance, as quoted before, she labels traditional studies as
"static," "context-free," and "dictatorial" (77). By using these terms she degrades standard teaching and
enhances her own ideas about alternative methods.
Exaggeration
Each author also exaggerates the oppression of women musicians in the nineteenth
century. First, Bowers continually comments on her belief that women musicians have not been treated
fairly throughout history. She states, "Further, women's compositions were frequently reviewed in
gender-biased ways, and overt discrimination . . . was used against women who tried to enter male
domains" (87). This statement is only partly true. Clara Schumann was one example of a woman who
composed and performed across Europe. According to Green, "Clara Schumann . . . was the
acknowledged peer of the top male performers of the day" (60). Many other women musicians were also
well-respected in the music field such as Fanny Mendelssohn, Cecile and Natalie Chaminade, Amy
Beach, and Sofia Gubaidulina. Bowers fails to acknowledge the impact these women had on music and
ignores the freedom they had in performing and composing.
Cook and Coeyman do not directly exaggerate the oppression. However, they often allude to it.
Cook comments on continued open hostility to women's studies programs in higher education,
while Coeyman describes the field of music as a white male- dominated scene (Cook 93; Coeyman 75).
While neither openly state it as Bowers does, they still assume that all women were excluded from music
and have just recently begun to be accepted. Contrary to this, in recent years many universities have felt
it imperative to include women’s studies in their curriculum. According to the College Music Society, for
example, "To combat the trend toward tunnel vision [in music] and to ensue that students and faculty
integrate knowledge from various disciplines, educational requirements need to be expanded and
reinvigorated" (6). Contrary to Cook and Coeyman’s beliefs, many music departments have realized their
curricula need to include more than just one race or gender’s point of view.
Conclusion
This critical review has considered three different articles. Each article focuses on the issue of
feminism and its place in the college music setting. Bowers and Cook look at the research aspects,
observing that a lack of research inhibits inclusion of women in the classroom. Coeyman concentrates on
the importance of including women in history lectures and offers suggestions for alternative teaching
methods. While all three articles are well written, they fail to discuss the benefits of traditional teaching,
focusing only on the positives of feminism. They believe feminism will foster growth in the education of
many students. According to Ropers-Huilman, "[F]eminist teaching provides options for teachers and
administrators as they seek to educate and encourage respectful communities grounded in difference"
(19). However true this may be, to say that this will only happen by using a feminist pedagogy is one-
sided, and this one-sidedness is evident in the arguments of all three authors’ articles. Their arguments
insinuate that feminist teaching is the only solution to improving a music school’s curriculum. This
misleads the reader and focuses the attention on feminism while ignoring all other viewpoints.
Works Cited
Bowers, Jane M. "Feminist Scholarship and the Field of Musicology: I." College Music Symposium 29
(1989): 81-92.
Coeyman, Barbara. "Applications of Feminist Pedagogy to the College Music Major Curriculum: An
Introduction to the Issues." College Music Symposium 36 (1996): 73-90.
College Music Society. Music in the Undergraduate Curriculum: A Reassessment. Boulder : College
Music Society: 1989.
Cook, Susan C. "Women, Women’s Studies, Music and Musicology: Issues of Pedagogy and
Scholarship." College Music Symposium 29 (1989): 93-100.
Green, Lucy. Music, Gender, Education. Cambridge : University of Cambridge Press, 1997.
Neuls-Bates, Carol. "Creating a College Curriculum for the Study of Women in Music." The Musical
Woman: An International Perspective. Ed. Judith Lang Zaimont. Westport : Greenwood Press,
1983. 265-284.
Ropers-Huilman, Becky. Feminist Teaching in Theory and Practice. New York : Teachers College Press,
1998.
Additional Sources
Banner, Lois. Women in Modern America: A Brief History. 2nd ed. Orlando: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich,
1984.
Kimball, Roger. Tenured Radicals. New, York: Harper & Row, 1998.
Langer, Cassandra. A Feminist Critique. New York: Harper Collins, 1996.
Levine, Lawrence. The Opening of the American Mind. Boston: Beacon Press, 1996.
Mark, Michael L. Contemporary Music Education. 3rd ed. New York: Simon & Schuster Macmillan, 1996.
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Sample Four: Critical Review of Four Essays Using APA Style
SPECIAL NOTES: This critical review of four professional journal essays is in APA format. There is no
bibliography, as all sources are sufficiently referenced in this semi-formal paper. Main subtitles are
underlined; sub-subtitles have all letters capitalized.