Importance of Parents In Islam

- Respect and Be Kind to Your Parents

( And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but
Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of
them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to
them a word of disrespect, nor shout at
them but address them in terms of honour.
And lower unto them the wing of submission and
humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow
on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when
I was small.” Your Lord knows best what is in your inner-
selves. If you are righteous, then, verily, He is Ever Most
Forgiving to those who turn unto Him again and again in
obedience, and in repentance )
The Quran 17:23–25

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All religions and all societies have given parents an
honorable status. From a purely material viewpoint, we
find ourselves indebted to our parents, particularly our
mother. She not only nourished us in her womb, but went
through pain and suffering. She loved us even before we
were born. She toiled when we were totally helpless infants.
She spent sleepless nights caring for us. Our parents as a
team provided for all our needs: physical, educational,
psychological, and in many instances, religious, moral, and
spiritual.

Our indebtedness to our parents is so immense that it is not

possible to repay it fully. In lieu of this, it becomes
obligatory for us to show the utmost kindness, respect, and
obedience to our parents. The position of parents, and the
mutual obligations and responsibilities, have been
addressed in Islam in great detail. The Qur’anic
commandments, as well as the sayings of Prophet
Muhammad (pbuh) guide us in this matter. The parent-
child code of behavior in Islam is unique, since rules were
laid down by divine command.

References to parents have been made at least 15 times in

the Holy Qur’an. There are numerous traditions of the
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) on this subject. I will first quote
some of the Qur’anic verses here:
“And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents.
In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in two
years was his weaning.Show gratitude to Me and to thy
parents; to Me is thy final goal”
( The Quran 31:14 )

According to the above verse, gratitude to God and to

parents go hand in hand. Gratitude to God is incomplete
without showing gratitude to one’s parents. Since being
grateful to God is a form of ibadah (worship) which earns
heavenly rewards, it can therefore be said that being grateful
to one’s parents also earns heavenly rewards.
“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him,
and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or more
attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt,
nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out
of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say,
“my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they
cherished me in childhood.”
( The Quran 17: 23–24)
“ We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in
pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him
birth.”
( The Quran 46:15 )

Thus, God has enjoined on us to show

kindness, respect, and humility to our parents. We
are commanded to do this, even though they may have
injured us. The only exception to the above command is
made in the following verse:
“We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; but
if they strive (to force) thee to join with Me anything of
which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not.”
( The Quran 29:8 )

Some of the traditions of Prophet Muhammad, and of

the learned members of his family, about our
responsibilities toward our parents are quoted here:
“Paradise lies under the feet of the mother.”

“God’s pleasure is in the pleasure of the father, and

God’s displeasure is in the displeasure of the
father.”

“He who wishes to enter Paradise through its best

door must please his parents.”

“It is a pity that some people may not attain

Paradise, on account of not serving their old
parents.”

“If a person looks with love at his parents, God

writes in his favor the reward equal to the
performance of one Hajj.”

[Someone asked, “will this promise be good if one looks at

his parents one hundred times a day?” The Holy Prophet
(pbuh) replied, “even if one does so a hundred thousand
times a day, God gives the reward accordingly.”]

“A man or woman is bound to be good to his or her parents,

even though they may have injured him or her.”

According to one of the Hadith-e-Qudsi, the following is

reported about the status of parents:
 “ God has commanded that if anybody prays equal to the
invocations performed by the prophets, such prayers will
do no good if that person has been cursed by his or her
parents.”

It has also been related that the very first words which
have been written on the Lauh-e-Mahfuz (The Heavenly
Preserved Tablet) are:

“I am God, and there is no deity except Me. I am

pleased with those with whom their parents are pleased,
and I am displeased with those with whom their parents
are displeased.”

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is reported to have said:

“ On the Day of Judgment, my person will not be seen by

those who drank liquor, those who on hearing my name
did not invoke the blessings of God on me, or those who
were cursed and disowned by their parents.”

According to a reliable tradition, it is related that a man

came to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and asked him to
whom he should render kindness. The prophet told him to
be kind to his mother. Three times he put the same question
to the prophet, and three times he got the same answer.
When he asked the question the fourth time, he was told to
be kind to his father, indicating that the mother’s right took
precedence over that of the father.

Parents’ duties: Islam has assigned certain duties to parents

that they must fulfill. If they fail in those, they will be
questioned about it. Besides providing the basic necessities
of life, Islam requires that the parents teach their children
about the Oneness of God, the Quranic commandments,
values, the Prophets and their teachings, and the moral code
of Islam as according to the Quran and the Sunnah
(teachings) of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

Let us pray to God that He guide us to be respectful, kind,

and obedient to our parents, and that we continue to show
them humility regardless of the power, position, wealth, and
influence we may possess. Let us also pray that we be
patient, kind, thoughtful, and friendly with our children, as
we guide them through their lives, and that we discharge our
responsibilities towards them as required by our religion, so
that God may be pleased with us, and may He Bless and
reward us, both in this world and in the Hereafter. Ameen.
When asked about the people who taught us the most, who
were there for us through hardships, who laughed with us
during the good times, who put up with us on our off days,
most of us think immediately of our parents. And it is true:
our parents are the ones who have been with us through
almost everything in our lives. Our mothers carry us for nine
grueling months before we are born, and for at least
eighteen years afterwards, our parents, to list a few things,
take care of us, teach us, help us, and provide for us
financially and academically. Without them, most of us
would not be in the places we are today.

Unfortunately, however, many people do not treat their

parents in the manner they deserve. Teenagers fight
relentlessly with their parents, often over extremely trivial
topics. Other young people ignore their parents, rather
spending time with their friends or online. As we get older,
we tend to forget that our parents are growing older as well,
and they are pushed aside to living on their own or in
nursing homes while we start our own families. Not only is
this disregard unfair to our parents, it is also strictly
forbidden in Islam. God has commanded us to treat out
parents with utmost respect, no matter the situation we are
in.

Respecting parents is one of the most significant aspects of

Islam. God says in the Quran:

Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but

Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one
or both of them attain old age in your life, say not
to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but
address them in terms of honor. (Quran 17:23)

The first decree in this verse is to worship none but God.

This is the first and most important pillar of Islam, and
enjoining partners with God is the only unforgivable sin.
The order right after this is kindness to parents. There are
other major sins in Islam that could have been mentioned
here, but the one God has forbidden us against here is
disrespect to parents. We are told not to speak
contemptuously to them: the word given in Arabic is “oof,”
and even this simple groan of scorn is forbidden. Instead,
God has told us to address them with honor and deference.
The next verse tells us:

“And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of

humility, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them your
Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood’”
(Quran 17:24).

The phrase “lower to them the wing of humility” has been

interpreted as an image of the way birds spread their wings
out of protection and love for their young. Our treatment of
our parents is shown in the same way: we should be humble,
respectful, and loving towards them.

Moreover, the prayer in this verse (“My Lord! Bestow on

them your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood”)
is extremely powerful, and many scholars say that Muslims
should say this after every prayer. It is truly a beautiful
prayer, as we are asking God to bestow mercy on our
parents, as they were merciful to us when we were young.
Holding one’s parents in high esteem is so important that,
even if they tell us not to obey God’s command, we are still
to treat them kindly. God says in the Quran,

But if they strive to make you join in worship with

Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey
them not; yet bear them company in this life with
justice (and consideration). (Quran 31:15)

Even if our parents strive to make us commit the worst act

in Islam, we must still treat them with justice. There is no
concept of leaving our parents in Islam, even if they are
disbelievers. To further elaborate this point, there is a saying
from the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (pbuh),
narrated by Asma, the daughter of the Prophet’s good
friend, Abu Bakr. Asma once asked the Prophet (pbuh) how
she should treat her mother, who was a polytheist. The
Prophet (pbuh) replied, “Treat your mother well.”

While we should obviously respect both our parents, our

mothers are given special treatment in Islam. This is
because our mothers carried us for nine months, and were
our primary caregivers when we were children. In one
saying of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), a companion
asked him who deserves the most good treatment and
respect. The Prophet (pbuh) replied, “Your mother.” The
companion asked again, and again the reply was “Your
mother.” The companion asked a third time, and once more
the Prophet (pbuh) said, “Your mother.” When the
companion asked for the last time, the Prophet (pbuh) then
answered, “Your father.”

Our mothers deserve the utmost respect and good

treatment, and there is no excuse otherwise. We are told this
three times over. In another narration, the Prophet
Muhammad (pbuh) said that paradise lies under the feet of
the mother. This further reiterates the fact that our mothers
are to be the most revered and cared for people in our lives.
In yet another saying, we are told that a man did the entire
pilgrimage, Hajj, with his elderly mother on his back. The
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) told him that this did not even
repay his mother for a single kick the man gave his mother
while she was bearing him in the womb.

This is not to say that our fathers do not deserve respect. The
story of Prophet Abraham (pbuh) in the Quran tells us that
his father was ready to kill him for destroying religious idols
and abandoning the pagan religion. Abraham, instead of
losing control, merely prayed to God to have mercy on his
father and to help him find the truth. Many youth today
shout obscenities if their fathers give them a stern lecture.
From our prophet we learn that this is never acceptable, no
matter the situation.

Finally, there are many ways to fix our relationships with

our parents. First and foremost, of course, we must recall
the importance our parents have in our lives, and the
various verses that remind us to be kind to them. There are
also many sayings from the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
that teach us how to act with them. In one narration, he
likened caring for parents to fighting for the cause of God,
the best deed a Muslim can do in his life. In another, we are
told that smiling kindly at our parents is as though we have
done the pilgrimage to Mecca, the Hajj. We should make it
a habit to do these small things in our daily lives. Talking to
our parents on a day-to-day basis, no matter our age, is also
a way to close any gaps we may have with them. Lastly, it is
always important to remember to pray for our parents. We
have been told that several people’s prayers will always be
answered, and among these is the child’s prayer for their
parents.

May God help us all to be more respectful to our parents.

Source https://medium.com/@Marytn/be-kind-to-
your-parents-ed240d9dcbd8