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Questions to Ask a Prospective Spouse

1. What is your concept/understanding of an Islamic marriage?

2. What are you expectations of marriage?

3. What are you expecting of your spouse (religiously and otherwise)?

4. What can you offer your spouse (religiously and otherwise)?

5. Do you want to practice polygamy?

6. What is your relationship with your family?

7. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?

8. What do you expect your spouse’s relationship with your family to be?

9. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?

10. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?

11. What is the level of your relationship with them now?

12. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?

13. Will you want to "check out" your spouse’s friends and only let him/her visit those
of whom you approve?

14. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?

15. Do you agree on the halal meat issue? - some people will only eat halal meat,
whilst others will eat any meat of the Jews and Christians as long as it's not pork.

16. Do you smoke/drink/do drugs?

17. After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings?

18. After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?

19. If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?

20. If someone has wronged you, how do you want them to apologize to you?

21. How much time passes before you can forgive someone?

22. How do you make decisions? Do you rely on your own wisdom? Would you be
willing to consult with your spouse?

23. What makes you angry and how do you deal with your anger?

24. How do you express anger?


25. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the
conflict get resolved?

26. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?

27. Is there any history of major illness in your family?

28. How do you spend money?

29. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?

30. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?

31. How do you feel about women driving?

32. Do you want to have children? If yes, how many? If not, how come?

33. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?

34. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?

35. What is your view on dowry?

36. What is your view on women wearing jilbab/abaya?

37. Whats your take on music?

38. What halal entertainment would you like to do as a couple?

39. How would you like to raise kids?

40. How cultural is your family?

41. Do you follow a specific school of thought in Islam?

42. How can we get each other to improve our deen?