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TeAnn Smith
https://teannsm62.wixsite.com/final-portfolio
Critical analysis DRAFT ( my computer doesn’t allow track changes)

Since the pre-historic times women have played the role of being around as an asset to
man. (women have played a role as the asset to men)Still today there's a gender imbalance
between how men and women are seen in society. Therefore, people like Priyanka Chapro and
Olivia Emin address the injustices they see still today. They influence their peers and
constituents through heavy use word play in their speeches and evoking a conversation that can
be controversial. Emin a young student more specifically indicates to her peers how slut shaming
is a main problem of sexism today. The Priyanka a well-known actor and UNICEF advocate,(
change where a well known actor “ a well known actor and UNICEF advocate , Pryanka) talks
about the how the education system lacks room for women. Both speakers are females who have
witness and had been victims of gender bias. However, Priyanka’s argument is more valid than
Emins because she doesn’t argue her claim with emotional experiences; she effectively focuses
on how woman have been systematically susceptible to injustice; she supports her claims using
statistics of inequality in education, incorporating her own brand to raise awareness on social
inequality and includes a story of her of encounter with sexism; in all to evoke her audience to
see the problematic doings of sexism.
I like my paragraph and I think I got my point across with addressing whose side I am on
and I think due to my outline i adress all parts of my intro paragraph and it lets the audience
know what to expect. I thik that with this part , I adress the SLO 6, I learned how good revising
and using an outline esepcially when writing your intro is crucial nd alls me to be straight
forward when I adress what I plan to talk about in my paper. I also employ SLO 5 when I change
the first line and try to shorten it so I wont make my reader confused and I stick to what my
content is about) Then I also change around what I say for clarification.
Priyanka tells her speech to a large audience, its televised for the world. (Change the first
line to “Amogst her large telvisezd aduience, Pryinaka---”)In her argument she talks about some
of the things she has endured being a woman in the television industry. She has been judged on
her darker skin complexion and her body while many of her male cast members had more
leniency on their looks. There had been an instance when she had been told that since she was a
female she was ( by a well-known Bollywood director) easily replaceable in a film. All uses of
pathos that shows her experience. To add to her use of pathos, she discusses growing up in India
and helping her family take care of lower-class citizens, she had often witnessed seeing many
girls quite school, get denied health care because the social statues of a a female was inadequate
to men. She has even seen young girl prepare to get married after hitting puberty. “Meanwhile
they boys continue to live their lives as kids.” (Prynaka) As the speaker talked about her life as a
woman she connects to the audience of women who can also relate to being treated unfairly by a

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man. She uses emotion in her voice when talking about the everyday lives of female children,
using children to bring the emotional aspect to her point of stating sexism is emphasized at a
young age. With that she includes examples of synecdoche when talking about the role of men
her tone is sensationalistic. She motivates her crowd to see the socio economic aspects of 3rd
world secism vs developed countries to emphasizes the necessity (Had to fix spelling for
“neccessity”) to understand how sexism is worst for the impoverished. However her tone is of
gentleness with concern as shes address’s her concern. Though the topic of gender bias was very
popular in 2014, it’s something that’s still very prevalent in India today. “Women just don't have
a voice” (Priyanka); that’s due to systematic oppression.(I thik that I should improve the middle
part to give a bettetr summary and with that I will implement SLO4, I would summarizee what
she said throughly because the speaker spoke a huhge portion about what her expierence), Also
again SLO5 I wnt to change the way I say certain things so i can be more clear, especailly ith my
topic sentences.
More than 15 million girls primary school age will never learn how to read and write
compared to 10 million boys who don't. The education system is also another way that Priyanka
evokes the audience to understand that the issue of sexism runs deep into education.
Emphasizing on how education should be a choice and is something that should not be an
unreachable attainment. Priyanka says that tend to women, serve as the motherly figure, the one
who takes care of the house and children and that would be it. People, especially in third world
countries lack rights to education as it is. That leaves many female children to be uneducated,
due to the fact the male holds a role of being the base of the family. Therefore, since boys are
valued more highly than girls and it has been that way for years, sexism in education is rooted
deep.
From the lack of support due to male dominance, Priyanka has created her own
foundation geared to support education for women. Her foundation is geared toward motivating
and uplifting women who has endeared some sort of tribulation due to gender bias. In short, her
foundation tends to health and education. As a woman and a celebrity Priyanka shares with her
audience vulnerability and openness about why she feels the way she does about the role of
women. How her own career has been conflicted by stereotypes and doubt on her accountability,
being that she was a woman “on set”. Her brand is backed up by UNICEF and she is a UNICEF
ambassador. “Girls have the power to change the world” (Chapro) is uplifts and motivates her
crowd. She speaks to and for the voiceless as she puts it. She uses her platform to encourage
people to recognize the abuse of women by using repetition of words like “Power” and
“advocate” in which influences women to succumb negative implications of stereotypes of
gender.
In Emin speech she speaks on the intolerable acts of her peers, how words such as slut
have double standards. She says, “Women in society aren't allowed to be explicitly sexual on the
grounds of lacking morality unlike guys”.
( Yes equality is necessry for civil rights. Emin later even adresses the repetitious history
of how the female gender has been pushed down all throughout the beginging of relgion and pre-
historic times.)
 Thus also is the start to her logic behind her claim. Then for her use of pathos, she starts
of saying “we are smashing the confidence of young girls each and every time we stand by and
let them be called sluts”. Relating to how young girls are subjected to slut shamming before they
hit puberty. Her words are very powerful, they can also be termed militant. She brings he
repeatedly uses young girls and slut shamming in the same sentence. Then after stating that she
gets into her experience. From then she includes examples of how slut shaming is problematic.
“Male peers don’t think”, or “Boys are offended by women standing up for themselves” (Emin).
These generalizations repeat throughout the speech, she continues to make statements and not
clarify herself about them.
( I think that by adding more about emins logic will ahere to the concept of rhetorcal
triangle, I wasn’t very specific when talking about Emin is trying to say before she throws all of
her opions. So on page 2 I added more context on her logos to give emin a more complete
anaylsis)
Therefore, Emin anger towards her claim overshadows her ethics behind her argument,
she doesn’t address any ethical issues. Other than her being a girl who has been subjected slut
shaming. Her argument is only supported by experience. Not that it isn't valid however, her
emotional aspects are redundant, and they don’t vary in context. She constantly talks about men
and how they are the suspects of slut shaming. Basically “men are the bad guys” in the situation,
it’s almost contradicting when talking about one gender oppressing another as she degrades men
and generalize them. To further explain, the point of her speech is to end slut shaming. There for
when Emin talks addresses how using the word “slut” is heavily wrong. She addresses men only
and only point out her feelings behind it without context of the history sexism. That could leave
the audience to question, their freedom of speech. Furthermore, Emin is also young and she is
specifically speaking to her male peers. She had experienced slut shaming and it had s lead her to
see the problem of gender bias, just not the global scale like Priyanka.
To conclude, Prinkaya gives as story, she gives her audience back round on her topic and
validates her statement with statistics. She doesn’t come off as angry but engaged in her topic.
Emin and Priyanka both want to prove their point on the inequality of women today. But the
word play, tone and figurative language used by Priyanka allows for women to relate to the topic
and gain a sense of confidence from it. The topic of education is relatable to everyone and
pryanka holistic approach is motivational. Priyanka does that and still incorporates all three
aspects of ethos, pathos and logos. She calmly speaks to her audience and uses more than one
aspect when proving her points. Thus, her argument stronger because she can validate it better.