202D PROJECT Commented [ZDP1]: Bracy, I’m gonna start off with a

very generic note here: *follow directions*, always. I

very clearly specified numerous times (1) WHEN I
wanted this and (2) HOW I wanted this – i.e., an MS Word
doc, along with the rubric at the bottom. You’ll only be
Rhetorical situation: my student for another couple of weeks, but I need you to
get on the ball. Since this is *very* late, I can only
squeeze in some quick comments here too, FYI. In all
likelihood, you’ll need to revise a considerable amount of
more work than what I’m commenting on. Please use my
● Exigence: Proposal Acceptance comments as a general guide for how you can take this to
the next level.
● Writer: William Bracy as Borough Manager

● Primary/Intended Audience: Local Government Council Also, why didn’t you include your name, course, date, etc?
Unless otherwise instructed, include that on/with
everything. It’s also a smart idea to name your
● Secondary/Peripheral Audience: Taxpayers/Voters fields/attachments.

● Author’s Purpose/Goal: Elementary School Improvements Commented [ZDP2]: This sounds like the name of the
genre. Exigence: what triggered the need to write this
● Context/Background Info: Taxpayers/Voters would like to see their money go towards thing?
Commented [ZDP3]: Good! This seems very realistic.
the education system that is building the foundation for their children
Commented [ZDP4]: What improvements? And what
about them? The Borough Manager wants people to
FUND this? Or does he want them to EXPEDITE
(hurry up) the plans? Or is this to start a BID for
TEXTUAL GENRE #1: contractors? Get specific.
Commented [ZDP5]: What voters>? What school?
What kids? How much money? What’s the story
here?
PROPOSAL:

Dear local governing council, Commented [ZDP6]: Is this an email? If so, emails
have subject lines…
Commented [ZDP7]: Is this a proper noun? An official
group? If so, capitalization,..
As manager of the local borough I would like to say our taxpayers and voters have collectively

chosen to heavily push a change in the education system for the local school. More than 70%

are ready to see a more advanced and in depth way of educating students. Students more than

ever have been turned off from the “old system”. Change is necessary not only to support the

young minds for the future but, to satisfy their parents as well. We now have enough support to

pay for the necessary improvements from community. This will be a huge benefit. This

education system is designed to implement real world applications. Instead of learning out of a

book written with one perspective at hand. Students will be able to specialize in each of their

interests and grow into who they need to become. While still staying centered in the same
schooling system. Technology will be more available so that instant communication is how

students will learn. Rather than reading books that are not being read anyways. It is time to

listen to the students and the parents that feel it is time to move on. We need to realize that the

current system is not as effective as it could be. And we now have the support financially and

ethically to make the right choice for the community. Commented [ZDP8]: What tech? What books?
What/how much support?

I need you to get specific here, Bracy. It’s also not

clear what you’re trying to accomplish in writing this
Best Regards, email.

William Bracy

TEXTUAL GENRE #2:

ACCEPTANCE:

Dear William Bracy,

As the local governing council we have taken into account that the community is ready for

change. This looks like a great place to start since the students are being educated for the

future. We will allow this new education system to take place as long as this system is able to

account for every student. Each student needs an equal opportunity to learn. So, as long as Commented [ZDP9]: I agree, so what, exactly, needs to
change? That could be how you revise the PURPOSE
each has that opportunity we will unanimously support this movement into a new education driving this TG.

system. We would also like to see weekly updates and reports to stay inside the loop and make

sure all is going as it should. The community is ready for change and we fully support the way it

should be implemented.

Sincerely,

Local Governing Council

TEXTUAL GENRE #3:

DENIAL: Commented [ZDP10]: Denial of what? What’s the

situation? You’ve got to lead me through your ideas
Dear William Bracy, here.

As the local governing council we feel even though community as a whole is supporting a new

education system. We need the resources beyond finances to make this movement happen.

Most importantly we need the right staff at the local school. If the teachers are not qualified to be

experts not only in their field but, to be able to look past the “old system” then it will not be Commented [ZDP11]: What is this “old system” you’re
talking ab out/. It’s not clear to me why they’re
rejecting/denying anything. (And I’m not sure, exactly,
feasible for the students to learn even if they are ready and accepted in that field. Also, what the initial propsal is FOR.)

specializing each student is very difficult enough in their current system. And now, a new People write to each other to accomplish GOALS.
Goals are specific hopes, desires, plans, etc. What are
the plans here? What’s going on?
system would be that much more difficult. We understand everyone is ready to see change.
I very, very, very strongly suggest looking up some
However, we need resources and expertise beyond finances to make this happen. articles about local politics and governing boards and
all that --- the roles + organizations you’ve created in
this project – to learn more about what they all
communicate about.

Sincerely, Context is crucial. Specifics are necessary.

Commented [ZDP12]: What does this mean? Is this a
Local Governing Council lot of fluff?
Commented [ZDP13]: What resources? And what
expertise?
Commented [ZDP14]: You didn’t capitalize this in an
TEXTUAL GENRE #4 earlier TG. Why not? Consistency is key.
Commented [ZDP15]: Commas (and punctuation, more
generally) helps to guide a reader’s understanding of
the relationship b/w the ideas within each sentence.
SUMMARY OF ANALYSIS REPORT: One way you can bring more clarity here could be to
show the “If X, then Y” relationship
Dear Local Governing Council,
Please check out this badass resource on commas:
https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/commas/.
Really, don’t blow this off—commas can be tricky and I
bet that this resource will help clear it up for you.
As a new and innovative education system our first priority will be the staff that directly works
(As a new and innovative education system, our first
priority will be the staff that directly works with the
with the student body. With this in mind we are recruiting only the most capable, driven, and student body.)
synchronistic candidates. There are not many that are qualified to meet the necessary Commented [ZDP16]: Bracy I want you to make friends
with paragraphs! They’re your friends, I swear!
challenges that the new and advanced education system requires. Teachers must see our
Multiple paragraphs here—separated their
function/purpose—would likely enhance this genre and
cause on an eye-to-eye level. This may seem unorthodox to most teachers as they have been (similar ones).

taught to teach within an already established system. And on top of that it requires a certain Para 1- intro
Para 2 - overview of what’s going on
Para 3 – your plan/purpose - -the specifics
amount of personality and aptitude to start teaching in a new manner. This is where most will Para 4 – the next steps
Para 5 – gratitude
have a difficult time coming to a full understanding of how and why this system is being (*note: this is just a suggestion – it’s NOT a fixed
formula.)
implemented now. After that is acquired, then and only then we will consider the skills and
Including specific details in your “next steps” paragraph
is your best chance of getting a favorable response.
experience that they have to offer to the student body. Students will not be given letter grades or

number grades. They will be assessed by hands-on experiences. Students will choose what Commented [ZDP17]: Interesting! Such as?! Tell me
more! This could be a whole “next steps” paragraph!
they would like to do from the start and go from there. At first, we will only be able to allow a

certain amount of versatility for the students. However, we make this as rounded as possible

and the more our schooling excels; then we can too.

Best Regards,

William Bracy

TEXTUAL GENRE #5 Commented [ZDP18]: This sounds like a cool TG that

solves a problem (on what basis are people
“qualified”?)

But are you talking about to GET hired? Or to

GENERAL STAFF QUALIFICATIONS FOR EMPLOYMENT MAINTAIN employment? And what kind of
employment are you talking about?
● Respect- all staff must be in alignment with the system that is being implemented for it to What is this document? Is it a handout>? A flier? Is it
in people’s contracts? Who wrote it? How was it
work properly as designed developed?
Commented [ZDP19]: You have an opportunity to
● Integrity- staff must be open, honest, and accurate with their skill-set and experience integrate parallelism into this.

● Honor- must support the aptitude levels of establishing a new system Staff must be able to…

What you’ve got right now is a bit random:

● Versatility- staff must be able to flex around the student body in order teach effectively\ - all staff must be
- staff must be
● Discretion- staff must be able to make decisions strategically and/or on the spot as well - must support
- staff must be able
in a balanced/fair manner
 ● Skills- Each member of staff must present the necessary skills in their field

● Experience- Each member of staff must have the required grounded experiences to

support themselves through the new education system

Metacognitive Moves Analyzed and Explained

Commented [ZDP20]: Moves = writerly decisions that
you made. “Students are ready for a change” isn’t a
decision that you made. What do you want to get
The first metacognitive move I would like to focus on for textual genre #1 is that students across here? I need you to focus on your
***language**** : key words, phrases, sentences that
you purposefully tailored in a particular way – to
are ready for a change. Every day since I was a kid, I have been pulling my teeth out to force
accomplish a particular goal.

myself to attend torturous lectures from a book. And not only did I notice this in myself. I Commented [ZDP21]: OK, so how is all this stuff
manifesting within your project? How do these ideas
wind up directly appearing in the language that you
recognized it in my elders and my fellow classmates. And to this day it is has become even used in your project?
Commented [ZDP22]: <~~ I like how you’re bringing up
worse. Nobody likes school plain and simple. There is a reason for this and we collectively have your interview here. Q: since you’re changing gears
here, is it worth starting a new paragraph? You’re,
the power to change that for the current generation and more importantly for the next generation now, focusing on a different big idea – dividing your
“papers” into *chunks*/paragraphs is a great way to
make something a *lot* more reader-friendly.
as well. This will not only benefit students. But, in teachers and the educating staff as well.
Bottom line: paragraphs are your friends!
Teachers are more and more likely to agree that this is a time of instant-communication. I have Commented [ZDP23]: How are these 2
ideas/statements connected? I’m not seeing how
also been led to this in my interview with the Borough Manager of North Wales. Christine Hart sentence 1 connects to sentence 2.

stated to me that the biggest issue she has in her current daily operations is instant
communication is being stressed more heavily than ever. This leads me to question how
effective the current schooling system actually is. I ask myself questions like.. What would
Remember: in life, your readers will never be YOU –
that’s the ultimate ongoing struggle of communicating
effectively. It’s important that, as writers, we put
ourselves in our readers’ shoes as much as possible. How
can we best lead them through our thought process?
What information do they need first? Next? Etc.

school be like if students attended classes with passion rather than dread? How would this Commented [ZDP24]: Did you talk about the
educational system during your interview? If so, what
was talked ABOUT? I need to see some specifics in
change the way teachers structure their classes if students wanted to be there, rather than fight your TGs, otherwise it comes across as vague fluff.

the assigned work? Would both teachers and students be able to focus on the material better? Remember what we’re doing in this project: you’re
moving your interview knowledge FORWARD to create
scenarios of what “business writing” looks+sounds like
Would teachers enjoy their careers with heightened attitude and/or fullness? These are all
in actual organizational contexts.

questions that I ask myself after moving through these experiences personally. And then the What do people communicate about? What ideas do
they bring up? What are their goals? How do they try
to persuade each other?
next questions follow the next steps into actually making a change. How can such a system be

implemented? Is it possible? Are both teachers and students able and willing to support such a

change? Will the school system comply with such a change? And to what extent? I think after

these questions are asked we can take it to the next level. Breaking down the last five

questions. Actually coming up with a plan. That makes sense and fits together like a puzzle.

What will we keep and what will we change. Coming up with an idea is only the first step. The

journey between where you are at right now and the completion of that idea is how to do it.

Once that is successfully completed you’ll make it from point A to point B. How you get there is

the challenge. Elon Musk has already taken steps and created and developed his own school
Commented [ZDP25]: What does any of this have to do
without any grades for his kids and a few others. You can click HERE to read about it. He titles with your project, Bill?

For real – you can’t fluff your way through this. The
his school Ad Astra School. And says this is where traditional schools do not exist. If you are not purpose of this “moves” is to get you *reflecting about
the choices you’ve made as a writer.* To do THAT,
aware of who Elon Musk is, he is the owner of Tesla and SpaceX. A very influential individual you’ll need to make specific references to YOUR
LANGUAGE (i.e. cite yourself).
who works on the frontlines of the technological industry. He believes even private schools are <~~ All this stuff might be interesting, but it’s not giving
me any insight whatsoever into your writing
not proficient in education his children for the future. And I couldn’t agree more. development.
Commented [ZDP26]: General note: I need you to
analyze a LOT of moves in each genre. For TG#1, in
other words, you should be examining 3-5 moves you
The second metacognitive move I would like to make will also focus on textual genre #1. made.
Commented [ZDP27]: Commas (and punctuation, more
This will be aimed at the parents and guardians of students. From my eyes parents see reading generally) helps to guide a reader’s understanding of
the relationship b/w the ideas within each sentence.
One way you can bring more clarity here could be to
and face-to-face communication as fundamental ways of communicating. While I am on board show the “If X, then Y” relationship

for this. The world is changing like never before. This means we will have to take a closer look Please check out this badass resource on commas:
https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/commas/.
Really, don’t blow this off—commas can be tricky and I
into the future rather than dwelling on the past. Previous generations have grown up in an bet that this resource will help clear it up for you.

education system focused primarily on books. And most parents still to this date have not even
Commented [ZDP28]: I need you to read this:

had a computer available to them in school as a student. Technology is taking a leap and it is
not slowing down. In fact, it is accelerating as time continues. This means that the future will
meet reality faster than we can expect it to linearly. With all this in mind, including my personal
experiences relating to schooling. I believe there needs to be a change that occurs sooner than
https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/sentence-
patterns/
This is an incomplete sentence, and in some instances,
they’re perfectly legit – magazine articles, for instance,
are full of them. But I need you to KNOW that you’re
using incomplete sentences, and I’m not sure that you
do.

This is important, Bill. Formal writing instruction can

later. Schooling setups careers for students. However, the big problem is how can we teach only take you so far; the rest is up to you.
students with a teacher that is not from the future? We simply find the teachers that are willing

to address this issue on an eye-to-eye level. If teachers see the purpose and cause they are

supporting by doing this then it can become reinforced by experience. But, it takes a leap of

faith to enable this to happen. Commented [ZDP29]: How is this tied to the language
that you used for this project?

Building off of the last metacognitive move I will focus on textual genre #2 now. At first,

everyone will not be in agreement with this. It may be because of doubt, insecurity, comfort, Commented [ZDP30]: What’s this? “This” refers to
something you already mentioned – you haven’t
perception, or beliefs. This has to be recognized because it makes sense. Every major change mentioned anything yet.

(As the writer, you’ve gottttttta put yourself in a reader’s

that occurs anywhere starts small and grows larger over time. And it is not because everyone is shoes.)

on board at first. It takes a special category of personnel to start such a change. Then after

being successful and fulfilling what they said they would do by actually doing it. Then more and

more people will be attracted to this. However, there will still be those who do not accept it yet.

This will change over time and more will join the movement as well. Being a pioneer on the

frontlines requires one to step out of what is considered the “norm”. It takes ability, drive,

personal experiences, and tenacity.

Moving on to textual genre #3 I would like to focus on expectations, respect, and ability.

And before let you into mind about the following three principles I would like to say that all three

are based and grounded on top of perception. Expectations are extremely important. These are

our limits to what we can or what we can not do. I think that it would be possible for a 1-2 year

old child to speak in complete sentences. However, I cannot expect that to happen.

Expectations take possibility into acknowledgement. But just because it is possible does not

mean it is going to happen. Expectations guide one to make what is a perceivable goal actually

happen in real life. So with the local education system in mind. Expectations will have to be Commented [ZDP31]: How does this connect back to
your TG?
broken. With that in mind teachers and students will have to have the ability to expand their

minds beyond what is expected under “normal standards”. It is a more advanced way of
thinking, doing, and allowing. This can be adopted into an education system that is ready for this

kind of change. And it can set the golden standard for all other education systems. Living inside

this type of education system to me would be much more fulfilling. Respect is the most

fundamental quality/principle/value that any entity/person can have. Respect grounds everything

that is built upon it and within it. There is quote “Respect is Everything” and I hold myself to that

standard. Respect allows form to be created and designed. And immediately following respect,

ability will play a huge role as well. Ability does not just mean capability it is more than that. I

had a gym teacher in high school that said “When someone tells me I have potential, I see that

as an insult”. Because potential means that you can do it but you’re not able to do it. Ability

means you can do it and you are able to do it. So with this being said, these are the qualities

that need to be looked at for the local education system. People with these qualities will be the

best candidates to implement this system.

Rubric for 202D Final Project Commented [ZDP32]: Why weren’t these rubrics
included? Follow directions.

Rubric for Rhetorical Situations

Did Not Meet Met Exceeded

Expectations Expectations Expectations
 Company Profile X

Have you provided relevant background

information to help bring your organization to life?
What’s the name of this organization/company?
What’s their field, industry, or “line of work”?
Where are they located? Who is their clientele?

Exigence X

What prompted the writer’s need to communicate?

What’s the urgency behind the need to enact this
particular genre? Why this, why now?

Writer X-

Who is the writer? What’s their name, what

organization/company are they affiliated with,
and what’s their role/position?

Audience (Primary and Peripheral) X

Who is the intended/primary audience for this

genre? What’s their name, what
organization/company are they affiliated with,
and what’s their position/role?

Additionally, what other peripheral/secondary

audiences might play a role in how we can
understand this genre? Might other people be
interested in the message that’s being
communicated? Could the writer have additional
people in mind beyond the specific person(s) that
they’ve contacted?

Purpose X

What’s the writer’s goal? Is it realistic? Have

they identified a concrete, actionable outcome that
they’re hoping to achieve?

Context / Background Info X

What additional information is necessary to make

the most sense of this rhetorical situation? Do the
writer and their audience have a “history” of
sorts? Is there an upcoming deadline? Has a
company’s policy or personnel recently gone through
changes? Is there a current “hot topic” that’s
circulating throughout the news cycle that makes
this communication more urgent?

Notes and Score (X/5)

1/5

Rubric for Textual Genres

Did Not Meet Met Exceeded

Expectations Expectations Expectations

Genre Identification X

Did you (accurately) name/identify each unique

genre that you enacted?

Alignment with the Rhetorical X-

Situation

Does the genre that you created/enacted

accurately reflect the rhetorical situation (for each
genre) that you laid out?

Genre-Specific Conventions X-

To what extent did each textual genre include its

most important conventions? Remember: when we
think of “conventions,” we think of the unique
characteristics, features, patterns, or ingredients of
a particular genre. (e.g. a specific subject or an e-
signature line for an email)

Rhetorical Strategies X
Has the writer used various rhetorical strategies
to persuade their reader/audience in the most
effective way possible? From jargon (technical
terminology), to particular details (e.g. the specific
amount of $ due for a claim; timelines for a call
to action), to communication with internal vs.
external audiences, have you (the student)
brought each genre “to life” in realistic ways with
your language-based decisions?

Organization/Structure X

Is the writer’s communication

organized/structured in a clear and logical
manner? Does the organizational strategy best
support the writer’s goals of each particular
genre?

Mechanics + Punctuation X

Have you demonstrated a control of mechanics

and punctuation? Are you using complete
sentences (unless intentionally avoiding them for
stylistic reasons)?

Notes and Score (X/15)

5/15

Rubric for “Metacognitive Moves” Reflection

Did Not Meet Met Exceeded

Expectations Expectations Expectations

Focus on “Moves” X

What writerly decisions did you make in this

project? Did you identify numerous, consequential
“moves” that you made for this project? Did you
 articulate what you did and why you did it? (Or
didn’t do it?) do that

Examples of “Moves” X

Is your analysis of your moves connected to your

language? Have you quoted yourself to provide
concrete examples?

Learning and Insights X

The whole point of engaging in a metcaognitive

reflection (like this) is to better understand what
you’re learning and to communicate that with
others. What insights are you gaining about
written communication? About language? About
rhetorical situations? About genre? About
organizational structures?

Interview X

Think back to your interview.

How/when/where/why did you draw from insights
that came out of your interview? Indicate how your
interview informed this 202d project.

Connection to Assigned Readings X

Per the syllabus, did you make specific

connections to our assigned course readings? What
ideas, concepts, or strategies informed your
project? I’d like to see you paraphrase and
“quote” at least 5 different times from at least 3
different readings/chapters.!

Notes and Score (X/15)

0/15

6 / 35 - 5 (10 DAYS LATE) = 1 / 35

Bill:
I need you to step it up for your final revision. The portfolio is your last chance to prove to me that you’re
getting something out of this course. It’s not clear to me that your interview—which took us ~6 weeks to
prep for + analyze after—informed your project in any way. And if it didn’t do that, then there’s no way you
can have a successful final project. And if you can’t have a successful final project, that’s a very clear signal
that you haven’t developed the skills + awareness necessary to pass this course.

My advice: read the rubric 5x over. Study it. All the categories are precise + clear. What constitutes a
successful project isn’t a mystery; it’s all right there in the rubric. (For instance, why was there NO
connections to assigned readings?)

The ball is in your court. You can still turn this around if you put your mind + body + soul into this.