From: d9rd@dtek.chalmers.

se (Robert P L Danielsson) Newsgroups:

rec.humor,eunet.jokesSubject: 70 viticisms guaranteed to offend almost anybody
Summary: OffensiveKeywords: Offensive, racist, sexist, etc ...Message-ID:
<C1Iw2C.15L@news.chalmers.se> Date: 27 Jan 93 17:18:11 GMT Organization: Chalmers
University Of T echnologyLines: 454Are you sure you want to read this ?
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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ?A. Hold on to your nuts, this is
going to be a hell of a blowjob !
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Whats the difference between a nigger and a tyre ?A. T yres don't sing when you put
chains on them ...
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Why did the Irisman refuse to be a Jehovas Witness ?A. Because he didn't see the
accident ...
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Why do Iraquians carry shit in their wallets ?A. For identification.
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How do you get a kleenex to dance ?A. Blow a boogie into it.
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Why did the poof get fired from the job at the spermbank ?A. He was caught drinking
on the job ...
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Whats the definition of a perfect woman ?A. a) T hree feet tall with a round hole
for a mouth and a flat head so that you can put a pint of beer on it. b) T he
sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in. c) T he economy model fucks
all night and at midnight turn into a roastbeef sandwich and a sixpack.
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How do you get four poofs on a barstool ?A. T urn it upside-down ...
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Why don't Westindian cheerleadergirls do the splits ?A. T hey would stick to the
floor !
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Why do blacks wear widebrimmed hats ?A. T o prevent birds from shitting on their
lips.
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Why do blacks wear platform shoes ?A. T o stop their knuckles from dragging on the
ground.
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What do elephants use for tampoons ?A. Sheep.
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How do you say "fuck off" in jewish ?A. "T rust me!"
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Whats the definition of jewish foreplay ?A. T wo hours of begging.
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What do you get if you cross Bo Derek with a nigger ?A. 10 of spades ...
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What do you do in case of fallout ?A. Put it back in and take shorter strokes !
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What has six legs and eats pussy ?A. You, me and Billy Jean King.
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What's the brown stuff between the elephants toes ?A. Slow natives.
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What's better than roses on your piano ?A. T wo lips on your organ ...
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What do you get if you cross a nigger with a gorilla ?A. A dumb gorilla.
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What does it say inside a nigger's lips ?A. Inflate to twenty pounds.
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Why brixton niggers have such small steeringwheels ?A. So that they can drive with
their handcuffs on ...
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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza ?A. Pizzas don't scream in the oven.
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Why do Jews have such big noses ?A. Air is free ...
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What did Adam say to Eve ?A. You'd better stand back, I don't know how big this
thing gets.
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What do you have when you're up to your ankles in niggers ?A. Afro turf.
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What's old wrinkled and smells like Ginger Rogers ?A. Fred Astairs face.
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What's yellow ugly and sleeps alone ?A. Yoko Ono.
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Where is an elephants sex organ ?A. In his feet. If he steps on you, you're
fucked !
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Whats black and white and has three eyes ?A. Sammy Davies Jr. and his wife.
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What do Hockey goalies and westindian girls have in common ?A. T hey both change
their pads after three periods.
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What do you get if you cross a nigger with a monkey ?A. Nothing, monkeys are too
intelligent to fuck niggers.
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Why does Barbara Bush always get on top ?A. Because George can only fuck up.
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Why did god create the orgasm ?A. So that niggers should know when to stop fucking.
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What do you do if you see a drowning nigger ?A. T hrow him an anchor.
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How do you save a drowning nigger ?A. T ake your foot of his head.
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What do you call an Irishman with half a brain ?A. Gifted.
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What do you call an Irishman with four 'O'-levels ?A. A liar.
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Why do women have two holes so close together ?A. In case you miss.
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What do you call a beautiful girl in poland ?A. A tourist.
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What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook ?A. 100 way to wok your dog.
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How can you tell if a woman is wearing tights ?A. If she farts, her ankles swell.
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How do you know if a woman is wearing underwear ?A. Look for dandruff on her shoes.
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Why don't niggers drive convertibles ?A. T hier lips would slap them to death in the
wind.
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What's the definition of mass confusion ?A. Father's day in Brixton.
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Whats the ultimate rejection ?A. Your hand falling asleep while your having a wank.
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How do you kill a westindian ?A. Slap the toiletseat over his head while he's
taking a drink of water.
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What happens when a jew walks in to a wall with a full erection ?A. He breaks his
nose.
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How many blacks does it take to pave a driveway ?A. It depends on how thin you
slice them.
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What's the difference between a bowlingball and a westindian girl ?A. You can only
get three fingers in a bowlingball.
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What do lesbians like more than Levi Jeans ?A. Billy Jeans.
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How do you know when the barman is really pissed off ?A. When you find a string in
your bloody mary.
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Do you know how to save a drowning nigger ?.. No ?!? Good!
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Why is Italy shaped like a boot ?A. Because you couldn't get that much shit into a
shoe.
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What's natural dentalfloss ?A. Pubic hair.
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How did god make puertoricans ?A. He sandblasted niggers.
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Why did the homesexual leave home ?A. He didn't like the way he was beeing reared.
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Why don't niggers have chequebooks ?A. Because it's hard to sign your name with a
spraypaint.
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What do you get if you cross a Jew with a gypsy ?A. A chain of empty stores.
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Why do Iraquians smell so bad ?A. So blind people can hate them as well.
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What are the three greates lies ?A. 1) Black is beautiful 2) T he check is in the
mail 3) Of course I won't come in your mouth.
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Why do women have two holes so close together ?A. So you can carry them home like a
sixpack.
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How do you brainwash an Irishman ?A. Give him an enema.
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Why wasn't jesus born in the U.S.A ?A. Because god couldn't find three wise men and
a virgin.
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Why do Italians wear hats ?A. T o know which end to wipe.
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Why did god give the niggers rythm ?A. Compensation because he fucked up their
hair.
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How did the Irish acid-bath murderer loose his hand ?A. Pulling out the plug.
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What is blue and fucks old age pensioners ?A. Hypothermia.
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What is the only bad thing about the '69' position ?A. T he view.
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Whats the definition of a vicious circle ?A. A cunt with teeth.
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you've read this far and got pissed of, see the Keywords-line ...Disclaimer: I'm
not a racist, I just enjoy all kinds of raw homur.If anyone has some rasist jokes
against white folks (Read honkies) , PLEASE sendthem to me, I've only heard one and
it has to bee seen 1st hand ... Rob.--#include "std_signature.h".