From the Darkness to the light of Islam,

A journey of the mind and the body and soul of a man that once lived in the darkness of the deepest of
all hells.

The world can be a dark place. War, greed, racial hatred, oppression… these are expressions of social
ignorance on a sweeping scale. Sometimes it feels like the world is being consumed by the forces of
darkness, doesn’t it?

Then we have personal suffering, abuse, and selfishness – manifestations of spiritual darkness at the
most intimate level. Because these ills strike at our friendships, in our homes with our wives and our
children, and in our own hearts, they are even harder to deal with than global disasters.

There’s only one refuge, one source of protection, comfort, and guidance. The only true light comes
from Allah (God, and Creator of all). Only Allah’s light can defeat the darkness. All other promises of
hope and salvation are illusions.

“Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth.” – Quran 24:35

“Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The example of His light is like a niche within which is a
lamp, the lamp is within glass, the glass as if it were a pearly [white] star lit from [the oil of] a blessed
olive tree, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil would almost glow even if untouched by fire.
Light upon light. Allah guides to His light whom He wills. And Allah presents examples for the people, and
Allah is Knowing of all things”.

Can one find comfort in material luxury, physical sensation, or intoxication? Not really. Those are
distractions. Whatever pleasures we may get from them fades away so quickly.

Can you find relief in nature? Perhaps, but only because the beauty of nature is a reflection of Allah’s
mercy and creative genius. The creation is a sign that points to the Creator. When you’re sitting there on
a mountain top looking out over the land below and thinking, “This sure is beautiful. I feel at peace,”
what you’re really doing – whether you realize it or not – is praising Allah and sensing the beauty and
wonder that He placed in His creation.

One other note, do some fools commit evil in the name of religion? Yes, but Allah is exalted and glorified
above what people do.

Our refuge from all of this is Allah’s light. The following is an authentic dua’ which the Prophet (sws)
used to supplicate in sujood:

“O Allah, place light in my heart, and on my tongue, and in my ears, and in my eyes, and above me light,
and below me light, and to my right light, and to my left light, and before me light and behind me light.
Place in my soul light. Magnify for me the light of your goodness, and amplify for me your light. Make for
me the light, and make me the light. O Allah, grant me the light, and place the light in my heart, and in
my body O Allah, make for me a light in my grave… and a light in my bones. Increase me in the light of
your forgiveness.”

It should be noted that this light has nothing to do with skin, hair or eye color. It is a reference to Allah’s
light, which Ali ibn Abi Talib (ra) said was the gift of Allah’s guidance in the heart of the believer. Allah
says,

“Allah is the Wali (Protector or Guardian) of those who believe. He brings them out from darkness into
light.” – Quran 2:257

It seriously disturbs me that people – and Muslims are not immune – continue to equate lightness and
darkness of skin to goodness and badness of character. A person might have skin dark as ebony, yet be
filled with Allah’s light, so that the noor radiates from her face. And a person might be white as bone,
yet thoroughly evil. Anyone who believes differently is confused and spiritually lost. May Allah protect
us from such corrupt ways of thinking.

We seek refuge in Allah’s light from the darkness of the world. In practical application, seeking Allah’s
light means that we seek the guidance of the Quran (which is a manifestation of light). We love and
follow the Prophet (sws). We strive to be present in our worship. We try to be kind to Allah’s creatures –
not only other humans, but the animals and plants as well, as we were placed in stewardship over them.
We struggle daily against our own negative impulses, and we try to make the world a better place.

Now I will give my travels from the darkness to the light of Islam. It was in 1998 and I was in a battle of
the evils of Satan, I was drinking alcohol and doing drugs, I was on a daily basis. I was told that I was a
manic depressive person that I had a destructive personality, and I was prescribed prescription drugs
that would one bring me to a low the next would bring me back too normal and then there was a drug
that just relaxed me, I was at a point in my life that I was taking 10 pills in the morning just to leave the
house to go to work.

I had a friend that was from Somalia and he saw that I was so depressed and destructive even he as a
strong Muslim he told me he was afraid of me. He could see though that I had inside me a good person
and he said to me he was going to bring that person out of me. I told him for several months that I was
fine, and that I did not need to find myself I was right here. He laughed and said yes your body is here
but is your soul. I had to think about that for a while. He called it, I just heard it a

He continued to talk to me offer me Dawah at first as gibberish. After several months of him talking to
me and telling me about the God Allah, I finally said to him, ok ok let’s go to your masjid and let me see
what you are talking about, let me meet some people that you say can help me.

So we went to what is called Jummah prayer which I came to find out was the holy day in Islam as is
Sunday is the holy day in the Christian religion. I went, I listened it was at first in Arabic then the person
(whom I later found to be the Imam) started to talk in English, I remember the lecture as if it was
yesterday, the topic was about how in Islam we are people of peace and people of honesty. I started to
listen more and more, and I started to feel this sensation that I could not explain. At that point I excused
myself and left and was a little in shock that I had these feelings inside that I had never had before, I was
at first scared. My friend chased after me and came to me and asked me what was wrong, and I told
him how I had felt and that is when he looked at me and said to me that is the person that I have been
telling you about that is inside of you. I was not ready at that point to accept what he was telling me, so
I went home and for the next few weeks I would go to the Masjid for what reason I could not tell you
but there was just something that was pulling me to the Masjid, and I would just sit in the back and
listen to the lectures and would have people come to me and talk to me as if I was just one of their
brothers. It is at this point that I started to finally start to feel the acceptance and brotherhood that I
had been searching for all of my life, I grew up Christian and would go to Christian school up to 8th grade
but I had never really felt a part of the religion. Here I had only been here for a few weeks now and here
these men were coming to me and talking to me and actually talking to me and not judging me, which I
found that in the Christian religion they are a very judgmental people. If you did not contribute the
amount of money for example that was prescribed by the priest, you were put in a certain metaphorical
group that were not as good as the next person who gave what was prescribed.

As I would attend the daily prayers and watch the actions and the way that the men would congregate
and talk about this person that is named Mohamed (pbuh) I started to listen more intently and started
to realize that this is where I need to be and where I wanted to be. After about 6 months of listening
and talking to people and my friend, I took my Shahada and became a Muslim and I cannot even begin
to tell you the feelings that overcame me when I said those word, that to me just a few months ago
where just that words, that had no real meaning to me.

After I stated my Shahada I was overwhelmed with joy and a feeling of comfort that I had never felt
before in my life. I was taken in to my friends house along with his father I was taught the way to pray,
the way to live and then I started to change and the people that where around me before could see that
I had changed and that I was not the same person as before, I would not go to the clubs and the bars as I
did before I stopped the drink, I stopped the drugs and I stopped the medications and found that if I just
put my faith in this new god (Allah) that was shown to me all would be good, and that he would take
care of me from now on I did not need to self-medicate as I did before.

I lost a lot of friends at first but what I lost of my friends from my past Allah gave me 3 fold for my
future. But at this point I was left to my own to learn, I found that people that where there to talk to me
after I became a Muslim were gone. So I came to find out that people really did not want to help for the
further of my learning and that I was in fact left to my own accord to figure out. I would spend the next
10 years just doing the basics of prayer and that I thought was enough and that I thought I was doing
good. I had gotten to a point in my life that I was embarrassed to ask for help for I had been a Muslim
now for 10 years and I thought that people would judge me and say that I was a bad person for not
knowing this.

Now I can say that I have finally come to a point in my life that I have some knowledge but not the
correct knowledge and I have asked for help. Put aside my shyness and stated to live my life as I should
and that I deserve to have.