Christopher Bailey

Marriage and family

12/02/2018
To make the data easier for viewing a just put each person
on one survey and used 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 for each person
next to the answers that they chose.
For questions 2-5, only answer the questions that apply to you.

1. What is your current marital status?

Married 1 and 2 Divorced 3 Remarried 4 Widowed 5

2. If remarried, how many times have you been married? 1 time

3. If currently married, how long have you been married? Person 1=5 years, person 2=5
years, person 4 2 years

4. If currently married, do you currently have children living in the home with you?

(Yes) person 1 and 2 yes (No) Person 4 no

If yes, what are their ages? 5, 3, and newborn for persons 1 and 2

5. If divorced or widowed, how long was your last marriage?

5 years

If divorced or widowed, please answer the following questions based on your last marital
relationship.
If remarried, please answer the following questions based on your current marital
relationship.

6. Do you (or did you) express your love verbally? (I love you)

a. Always 1 and 2
b. Often 3 and 5
c. Sometimes 4
d. Rarely
e. never

7. Does your (or did your) partner express their love verbally?

a. Always 1 and 2

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 b. Often 5 and 3
c. Sometimes 4
d. Rarely
e. Never

8. Do you (or did you) hold hands with your partner?

a. Always
b. Often 1 and 2
c. Sometimes 5
d. Rarely 4
e. Never 3

9. Do you (or did you) kiss (including quick pecks on the lips to romantic kisses) your partner
outside of sexual intercourse?

a. Always 4
b. Often 1 and 2
c. Sometimes 3
d. Rarely 5
e. never

10. Do you (or did you) cuddle (on the couch, in bed, etc) with your partner outside of sexual
intercourse?

a. Always
b. Often
c. Sometimes4
d. Rarely 1 2 3 and 5
e. never

11. Do you (or did you) express your appreciation for your partner?

a. Always
b. Often 2 and 5
c. Sometimes 4
d. Rarely 1
e. Never 3

12. Does your (or did your) partner express their appreciation for you?

a. Always 5
b. Often 4

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 c. Sometimes 1 and 2
d. Rarely 3
e. never

13. Do you (or did you) express your admiration for your partner?

a. Always 5
b. Often 3
c. Sometimes 1 and 2
d. Rarely 4
e. never

14. Does your (or did your) partner express their admiration for you?

a. Always
b. Often 5
c. Sometimes 1
d. Rarely 2 3 and 4
e. never

15. Do you (or did you) share more about yourself with your partner than you do with any
other person?

Yes 1 2 4 No 4 and 5

16. Do you (or did you) offer your partner an emotional support system? In other words, are
you there for them in times of illness, difficulty and crisis? Are you generally helpful and
nurturing – devoted to your significant other's well-being?

a. Always
b. Often
c. Sometimes 3 and 5
d. Rarely 1 and 2
e. Never 4

17. Does your (or did your) partner offer you an emotional support system?

a. Always 1
b. Often 3
c. Sometimes 4
d. Rarely 2 and 5
e. Never

18. Do you (or did you) express your love materially? In other words, do you send cards or
give presents on more than just routine occasions? Do you lighten the burden of your
partner's life once in a while by doing more than your agreed-upon share of the chores?

a. Always
b. Often

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 c. Sometimes 1 and 2
d. Rarely 4 and 5
e. Never 3

If yes, explain what you do.

Person 5 said they would bring flowers to her.
Person 1 said that they gave small gifts here and there
Person 2 said gave flowers, sweet messages, and poems
Person 4 said they flowers

19. Does your (or did your) partner express their love materially?

a. Always
b. Often 5
c. Sometimes 1 and 3
d. Rarely 2 and 4
e. never

If yes, explain what they do.

Person 5 said all kinds of things. Candy, out to eat, letters, clothes and dates
Person 1 said that they received flowers
Person 2 said they got candy and food
Person 4 said they got flowers and food
Person 3 said they got small things but usually food

20. Do you (or did you) accept your partner's demands?

a. Always
b. Often 1 and 2
c. Sometimes 3
d. Rarely 5
e. Never 4

21. Does your (or did your) partner accept your demands?

a. Always
b. Often 4
c. Sometimes 1 2 3 and 5
d. Rarely

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 e. never

22. Overall, do you (or did you) put up with your partner's shortcomings? In other words, do
you love your partner for who they are, not an unattainable idealization of him or her?

Yes 1, 2, 3, and 5 No 4

23. Overall, does your (or did your) partner put up with your shortcomings?

Yes 1, 2, 3, and 5 No 4

24. Do you (or did you) take time to be alone together? (Just the TWO of you)

Yes 3 and 4 No 1, 2, and 5

If yes, how often?

Person 3 one day a week

Person 4 three days a week

25. Do you (or did you) feel that you take your relationship for granted?

a. Always 4
b. Often
c. Sometimes 1, 2, and 3
d. Rarely 5
e. never

26. Do you (or did you) feel that you make your relationship your first priority and actively
seek to meet your partner's needs?

a. Always
b. Often 5
c. Sometimes 1, 2, and 3
d. Rarely 4
e. never

27. Do you "do unto each other as you would have the other do unto you?" (or did you) We
sometimes want to give less than we get, or be treated in special ways that we seldom offer
our mate. Do you treat them the way you want to be treated?

a. Always
b. Often
c. Sometimes 1, 2, 3, and 5
d. Rarely 4
e. never

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28. Do you (or did you) find yourself showing contempt for your partner? (Definition of
contempt: lack of respect accompanied by a feeling of intense dislike) This means that you
do things such as rolling your eyes or do other things that make your partner feel inferior or
undesirable.

a. Always
b. Often 2 and 4
c. Sometimes 1 and 3
d. Rarely 5
e. Never

If yes, what do you do?

Person 1 said rolled their eyes and scoffed.
Person 2 said yelled
Person 3 said made jokes and rolled eyes.
Person 4 said was sarcastic and laughed
Person 5 said that they would do the silent treatment.

29. Does your (or did your) partner show contempt for you?

a. Always
b. Often
c. Sometimes 1, 2, and 4
d. Rarely 5
e. Never 3

If yes, what do they do?

Person 1 said their partner wont tell them everything and they have to pry to learn about
them.
Person 2 said that they their partner would do whatever they wanted even when they asked
them not to.
Person 4 said their partner used to lie, cheat on them, and call them names
Person 5 said their partner would walk away and stay away from them until she forced them
to talk about things.

30. Do you (or did you) find yourself criticizing your partner. This involves making
disapproving judgments or evaluations of your partner.

a. Always
b. Often 1, 2, 3, 4
c. Sometimes
d. Rarely 5
e. never

31. Does your partner criticize you?

a. Always
b. Often 1 and 2

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 c. Sometimes 3 and 4
d. Rarely
e. Never 5

32. Do you (or did you) find yourself preparing to defend oneself against what one presumes
is an upcoming attack?

a. Always 4
b. Often
c. Sometimes 1, 2 and 3
d. Rarely
e. Never 5

33. Do you stonewall? This means that you refuse to listen to your partner, particularly their
complaints.

a. Always
b. Often 4
c. Sometimes 1, 2, and 3
d. Rarely 5
e. Never

34. What is (or was) your BIGGEST complaint about your marriage?
a. frequency of sex 2
b. arguments about money
c. lack of communication or understanding 1 and 3
d. infidelity 4
e. lack of respect
f. other, please specify. 5 said that she felt she never got to live her own life as when she was
married it was always so dedicated to her husband and now that she’s old she wishes she had
focused on herself more now that he’s gone.

35. Overall, how happy would you say you are with your marital relationship? One being as
low as you can go and 10 being as happy as you can get.

1 2 3 (4) 4 5 (5) 6 (1) 7 (2) 8 9 (5)

10

Miserable Very happy

36. If you are happy with your marriage, what do you feel has been the key to your marital
happiness? In other words, what words of wisdom do you have to share?

Person 2 said forgiving their partner as much as possible and keeping the peace.
Person 5 said putting your partner above yourself.
Person 1 said the compromise was key.

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2. I think the ten rules did apply to them all. Reason being that the people who
were happily married all said one of the key reasons they all felt happy was that
they had one of the ten things listed as the key reason why it worked for them.
The two-remarried people seemed to more concerned with their own happiness
rather than the overall wellbeing of the relationship. The four horse men showed
up in both divorced parties but only at most 3 to one and 2 to the other. Children
made the couples that did seem happy seem to struggle more as they had to
spend more time with the kids rather than a lot more one on one time. They also
said that they made it easier to stay together too as they wanted to make it work
for the kids. Everyone with kids said that they felt the kids made them feel like
they had a sense of meaning and that they don’t know how their marriage would
have done without them around. All of the people that I interviewed had kids so I
can’t say how they compared to people with out kids.
3. I had three friends, my gma, and a friend of one of the friend’s friend did it for
me. I choice the friend of a friend as I wanted someone outside my circle of
people I know but the age groups were varied too. Everyone was in person
except for the one person via facetime chat. I had trouble finding the last person
to do the survey until a buddy of mine said that he would do it as I was talking
about it to him on facebook as he asked how school was going (as he is a vet
himself and he is going to school too)
I gave my best friend his wife surveys in person on the 23 of last month. I got
ahold of their friend on facetime a week later to do the interview on facetime. My
grandma I interviewed over thanksgiving break. And my other buddy I did on the
1st of this month.
4. Person 1 and 2 were in a time crunch so I had to ask them out loud, so I feel
like they were just placating each other for the most part. Person 4 seemed bitter
over their divorce so despite their answers being honest they felt jaded. Person
3 seemed to want the best out of things but felt uncomeatable with their partner
but they were honest as it was just him and I. Person 5 did as her husband had
passed away. Everyone made faces when being asked certain things, especially
when they didn’t like what they had to tell me for some questions.
5. What did you learn about marriages from this little questionnaire? I think I
learned that people whom do unhealthy habits are bound to have unhappy
marriages as well. Kind of like the bad blood breeds bad results. I also learned
that kids both make marriage harder and more fulfilling in marriages.