Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Nicole Baysa
Socio 197
OUTLINE
I.Misconceptions on Loneliness
II. What is Loneliness?
III. Alone in the City by Klinenman
IV.The Lonely Crowd by Riesman
What are the
misconceptions on
loneliness?
Misconception 1:
WEBSTER’S DICTIONARY
DEFINES LONELINESS AS “…A
STATE OF DEJECTION OR
GRIEF CAUSED BY THE
CONDITION OF BEING
ALONE…”
Loneliness is not grief
Loneliness is a reaction to the absence of the
cherished figure rather than the experience of
its loss while grief is the syndrome of shock,
protest, anger, and painful, searing sadness
produced by a traumatic loss. Grief subsides as
time goes on while loneliness continues as long
as no new relationship is formed to replace
what has been lost
Loneliness is not depression.
Loneliness is the drive to rid oneself of one’s
distress by integrating a new relationship or
regain a lost one, once achieved, they are no
longer lonely while depression prevents them
from seeking new or regain old ones because
they are unwilling to impose their unhappiness
on others.
Loneliness is not caused by being alone.
Loneliness is not caused by being alone but by
being without some definite needed relationship or
set of relationships.
Random sociability is not an antidote to loneliness,
in some circumstances, in can exacerbate it.
Ex: Someone who is not married and in
consequence feels outside the society of settled
family life may find that being with married couples
only intensifies his feelings of marginality of having
no valid place
Loneliness is not caused by being alone.
Loneliness is often uninterrupted by social
activity; the social activity may feel “out there”
in no way engaging the individual’s emotions. It
can even make matters worse.
Ex: Someone who is not married and in
consequence feels outside the society of
settled family life may find that being with
married couples only intensifies his feelings of
marginality of having no valid place.
“The exceedingly unpleasant
and driving experience
connected with inadequate
discharge of the need for
human intimacy.”
Misconception 2:
LONELINESS IS CAUSED
BY ONE’S FRAILTIES OR
WEAKNESSES.
Loneliness is not simply caused by one’s
frailties or weaknesses.
1. Our image of the lonely often casts them as
justifiably rejected: unattractive, shy, intentionally
reclusive, undignified in their complaints, self-
absorbed, self-pitying.
2. It is assumed that chronic loneliness is chosen.
It is easy to be acceptable to others. All that is
necessary is to be pleasant, outgoing, and
interested in others rather than in oneself. Why
can’t the lonely change?
Loneliness is not simply caused by one’s
frailties or weaknesses.
The rejection of the lonely is caused by the
wrong image of lonely as those who move
against others or away from others, they then
feel bad because they are alone so they are
told to simply be pleasant, outgoing, interest in
others, etc. if they can’t then they ought to
enter psychotherapy, change and learn to be
outgoing.
Loneliness is not simply caused by one’s
frailties or weaknesses.
For those who suffer from loneliness, advice of
this sort seems oddly beside the point.
No matter how much the lonely would like to
shake it off, they find themselves possessed by
it. No matter how devotedly they may count
their blessings, no matter how determined they
may be to put their minds to other things, the
loneliness remains, an almost eerie affliction of
their spirits.
Loneliness is not simply caused by one’s
frailties or weaknesses.
Loneliness is not simply a desire for company,
any company, rather it yields only to very
specific forms of relationship.
The responsiveness of loneliness to just the right
sort of relationship with others is absolutely
remarkable. Given the establishment of these
relationships, loneliness will vanish abruptly and
without trace, as though it never existed. There
is no gradual recovery. When it ends, it ends
suddenly, one was lonely, one is not any more.
What is Loneliness?
Loneliness
Loneliness is a response to a relational
deficit.
Response to the absence of the provisions
of a close, indeed intimate, attachment
Response to the absence of the provisions
of meaningful friendships, collegial
relationships, or other linkages to a
coherent community
What are the types of loneliness?
2 Types of Loneliness