BOOK REVIEW

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

by

Dr John Gray, Ph.D.

Book Reviewed By

SS-48908N
Lt Sandeep Singh Gulia
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ABOUT THE BOOK

Name of the Book : Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

Author : Dr John Gray, Ph.D.

Publisher : Harper Collins Publisher Limited

Year of Publication : 1993

PREVIEW

1. Introduction.

2. About the author.

3. Theme.

4. Characters.

5. Literary Qualities.

6. Social Sensitivity.

7. Production Values.

8. Verdict.

9. Conclusion.
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Intro.

1. Although almost everyone would agree that men and woman are different, how
different, is still undefined for most people. It is necessary to create an understanding
of our differences that raises self esteem and personal dignity while developing natural
trust, personal responsibility, cooperation and greater love. This is mandating to
improve relations between sexes. Falling in love is always magical, it feels eternal. But
as magic recedes and daily life takes over it emerges that men expect women to think
and react like men and vice versa.

About the Author.

2. Dr John Gray is a lecturer and relationship counselor. He holds a Ph.D. in

Psychology. He has authored many books on human relationship and behaviour. His
other books are “What You Feel, You Can Heal: A Guide for Enriching Relationships”
and “Men, Women and Relationships: Making Peace with the Opposite Sex”. The
Author is a practicing counselor of couple and individual and gives advice in how to
counteract differences in communication styles, emotional needs and mode of
behaviour to promote a greater understanding between individual partners.

Theme.

3. The book is based on practical experience of the author in respect of human

relationship. As such this book has its theme base of human relationship, especially
relationship between men and women. To present this human psyche in more
understanding language the author has co-opted a narration of Martian and Venusians
beings and this has turned out to be a sub theme used to explain main theme of the
book. Using this metaphor to illustrate the commonly occurring conflicts between men
and women, Dr John Gray explains how these differences can come between the
sexes and prohibit mutually fulfilling loving relationship. As summarized by author the
theme can be stated in one statement as “Love is magical and it can last if we
remember our differences.”

Characters.

4. As mentioned in the theme the author has used a narration of Martian and
Venusian being. These imaginary beings are the main characters of the book. The
author has used these character to explain various differences between opposition
sex and hence achieved his goal of simplifying complex psychological terms. The
character themselves represent the traits of a particular sex and helps reader to
understand the book better. They also help putting human psychology in simple words.
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Overview.

5. This book is a result of several years of research, successful concealing of

couples and individuals by the author to help develop and refine the insights about
men and women.

6. The author has divided this book in Introduction and thirteen chapters. The
introduction gives us the insight of the reasons behind the book and helps us to
understand the circumstances that forced the author be pen down this book. The
thirteen chapters’ deal with different psychological aspects of the human beings as
follows:

(a) Chapter 1: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. This
chapter builds the narrations and imaginary characters including the story line
of the book.

(b) Chapter 2: Mr. Fix-It and the Home Improvement Committee. It

explores how men’s and women’s values are inherently different and try to
understand the two biggest mistakes we make in relating to the opposite sex.
Men mistakenly offer solutions and invalidate feelings while women offer
unsolicited advice and direction.

(c) Chapter 3: Men Go to Their Caves and Women Talk. It discovers

the different ways men and women cope with stress. While men tend to pull
away and silently think about what’s bothering them, women feel an instinctive
need to talk about what’s bothering them.

(d) Chapter 4: How to Motivate the Opposite Sex. It explores how to

motivate opposite sex. Men are motivated when they feel needed while women
are motivated when they feel cherished. It also discusses the three steps of
Motivation, Responsibility and Practice for improving relations.

(e) Chapter 5: Speaking Different Languages. It teaches how men and

women commonly misunderstand each other because they speak different
languages of expression.

(f) Chapter 6: Men Are Like Rubber Bands. It discovers how men and
women have different needs for intimacy. A man gets close but then inevitably
needs to pull away.

(g) Chapter 7: Women Are like Waves. It explores how a woman’s loving
attitudes rise and fall rhythmically in a wave motion.

(h) Chapter 8: Discovering Our Different Emotional Needs. In this we

discover how men and women give the kind of love they need and not what the
opposite sex needs men primarily need Trusting, Accepting and Appreciation
while women needs Caring, Understanding and Respect. It also discovers six
common ways one may unknowingly be turning off his partner.
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(j) Chapter 9: How to Avoid Arguments. It explores how to avoid painful

arguments. The anatomy of an argument is explored along with many practical
suggestions for establishing supportive communication.

(k) Chapter 10: Scoring Points with the Opposite Sex. It shows how
men and women keep score differently. In this chapter 101 ways to score points
with women are listed.

(l) Chapter 11: How to Communicate Difficult Feelings. It teaches

ways to communicate with each other during difficult times. The different ways
men and women hide feelings are discussed along with the importance of
sharing one’s feelings.

(m) Chapter 12: How to Ask for Support and Get It. This helps one
understand why women have a more difficult time asking for support and why
men commonly resist requests.

(n) Chapter 13: Keeping The Magic of Love Alive. It discusses the four
seasons of love. It also teaches how your past or your partner’s past can affect
your relationship in the present and discover other important insights for
keeping the magic of love alive.

7. The book in its each chapter discovers new secrets for creating loving and
lasting relationships.

Literary Qualities.

8. Literary this book explores human psychology in simple words with the help of
examples. The book can be viewed as modern classic. The use of Martian and
Venusian’s concept to explain human psyche and a simple language and vocabulary
makes this book a literary masterpiece of human relationship.

Social Sensitivity.

9. This book is an invaluable tool for developing deeper and more satisfying
relationship which will help in development of society. In the ever fast changing social
values this book provides a way to understand each other and learning how men and
women are different.
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Verdict.

10. This book discusses in great details differences between men and women.
Each chapter brings out a new and crucial insight in human relationship.

11. The book helps in learning in very practical and specific terms about how men
and women are different and shows how to:

(a) build lasting, loving male-female relationships.

(b) learn how to read moods and respond effectively.

(c) get what you need without seeming to nag or bully.

(d) communicate difficult feelings.

(e) avoid the pain of argument.

(f) understand your partner, colleagues or friends better that ever before.

12. The book summarizes common mistakes we make in relationship. The author
has used practical examples of clients to explain certain factors very effectively.

13. The author also listed some points in various chapter to guide the readers to
achieve a healthy relationship with the opposite sex. The book also helps to
understand the communication styles of men and women.

14. The language and vocabulary used in the book is simple and the simple layout
of the book make the book more presentable and also readable

Conclusion.

15. This book reveals new strategies for reducing tension in relationships and
creating more love by first recognizing in great detail how men and women are
different. It also offers practical suggestions about how to reduce frustration and
disappointment and to create increasing happiness and intimacy. Most important
throughout this book one learns about practical techniques for solving the problem that
arises from our differences.