SPEECH 150 THX Group 2

FRANCO | GERONIMO | ILAGAN | LINAZA | MADAMBA | YARA

MANAGING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS: FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

I. Definition of Family (Verderber & Verderber, 2001)

a. Definition by: Galvin and Brommel (1996 as cited in Verderber & Verderber, 2001)
i. Galvin and Brommel (1996) defines it as - Group of intimates who generate a
sense of home and group identity. Complete with strong ties of loyalty and
emotion, and experience a history and a future
b. Definition by: Yerby, Buckrell-Rothfuss, and Brochner (1995 as cited in Verderber &
Verderber, 2001) as network of people who share their lives over long periods of time
bound by ties of marriage, blood, or commitment legal or otherwise, who consider
themselves as a family, and who share a significant history and anticipated future of
functioning in a family relationship
c. Brochner defines it as - a multigenerational social system consisting of a t least two
interdependent people bound together by a common living space (at one time or another)
and a common history , and who share some degree of emotional attachment or
involvement with one another

II. Types of Family (McCornack, 2010)

a. Nuclear family​- a wife, husband and their biological or adopted children
b. Gay or lesbian family-​ two people of the same sex governing the household and serving as
parents to their adopted or biological children of at least one of them
c. Extended family​- when relatives such as aunts, uncles, parents, children and grandparents
live together in a common household
d. Blended family- often called “stepfamilies” or a “remarried” family, this is a family type
wherein a husband and wife parent at least one child who is not a biological offspring of both
adults
e. Cohabitating couples- consist of two unmarried, romantically involved adults living together
in the same household, with or without children
f. ​Single-parent- ​only one adult resides in the household and serve as main caregiver for the
child/children
g. No children family- ​consist of a couple who choose not to have, or simply can’t have children
but may have extensive relations with their nieces and nephews or take on the responsibility
of pet ownership

III. Sets of Beliefs Regarding Meaningful Family Interaction (Koerner & Fitzpatrick,
2004).
Regardless of the family type one has, its members possess beliefs about how they should
communicate and interact. This results into specific family communication patterns which are
also influenced by two underlying sets of beliefs regarding family interaction. These are the
following:
a. ​conversation orientation:​ the degree to which family members view communication as the
principal vehicle for maintaining family bonds
· high conversation orientation- a family communicate regularly with each other, sharing
innermost thoughts and feelings and debating on a broad range of ideas and viewpoints
· low conversation orientation- a family view interpersonal communication as irrelevant and
unnecessary for a satisfying, successful, family life
b. ​conformity orientation: the degree to which families believe that communication should
emphasize similarity or diversity in attitudes, beliefs, and values.
· high conformity- a family use their interactions to highlight and enforce uniformity of
thought
· low conformity- a family communicate in ways that emphasize diversity in attitudes,
beliefs and values and that encourage members’ individuality and independence
IV. Communication Patterns in Families (Koerner & Fitzpatrick, 2004).
Family communication patterns evolve as family members co-create shared views of appropriate
and meaningful family interaction. The aforementioned sets of beliefs give rise to four possible
communication patterns which include the following:
a. Consensual families​- ​These are families high in both conversation and conformity. Members
may be encouraged to share their views with one another as well as debate these beliefs but are
eventually expected to share a single viewpoint. They address conflicts as constructively as
possible to preserve family unity.
b. Pluralistic families​- These are families high in conversation but low in conformity. They
communicate in open and unconstrained ways and discuss a broad range of topics and beliefs,
regardless of whether they mesh with other member’s attitudes. They resolve conflict in a
productive, mutually beneficial way.
c. Protective families​- ​These are families who are low on conversation and high on conformity.
Parent-child differences are firmly enforced, and children are expected to obey quietly. Members
of such families avoid conflict as it threatens the conformity they value.
d. Laissez-Faire families-​ ​These are families who are low both in conversation and conformity.
Few emotional bonds exist between their members since there is a lack of interaction and
communication. Because members infrequently interact, they also rarely have conflicts.
However, in rare cases of disagreement, they usually just ignore it.

V​.​ ​Characteristics of Family Communication (Peterson, 2009)

1. Communicate Frequently
a. Lack of time is more than of a problem than lack of money in most families
2. Communicate Clearly and Directly
a. Indirect and vague communication will not only fail to resolve problems, but will
also contribute to a lack of intimacy and emotional bonding between family
members.
 3. Be An Active Listener
a. Being an active listener involves trying your best to understand the point of view
of the other person.
4. Be open and honest with one another
a. Without trust, families cannot build strong relationships.
5. Think About the Person With Whom You Are Communicating
a. Not all family members communicate in the same manner or at the same level.
b. It is also important to take into consideration the ages and maturity levels of
children.
6. Pay Attention to Nonverbal Messages
a. Facial expressions or body language may be telling you something completely
different. In cases such as these, it is important to find out how the person is really
feeling.
7. Be Positive
a. While it is often necessary to address problems between family members, or to
deal with negative situations, effective communication is primarily positive.
b. It is very important for family members to verbally compliment and encourage
one another.

VI. Importance of Family Communication ​(Verderber & Verderber, 2001)

1. It contributes to self- concept formation
a. Role of communication in the formation of one’s self-concept.
b. One of the major responsibility that family members have to one another is to
“talk” both verbally and nonverbally in ways that will contribute to the
development of strong self-concepts in all family members especially young
children (Yerby, et. al, 1995)
c. Self-concepts are established, maintained, reinforced, and/or modified by
communication from family members.
i. Can be enhanced by statements
 1. Praise
2. Acceptance and support
3. Love
ii. These positive verbal statements can undermined by nonverbal gestures
and tones of voice.

2. It supplies needed recognition and support (Verderber & Verderber, 2001)

a. Recognition and support help family members feel that they are important, and it
helps them get over the difficult times they will face.
b. Usually, with family members are the people with whom we feel safest, and we
turn to them when we need praise, comfort, and reassurance. Yet, in some
families, this responsibility is forgotten because of the rush of the day-to-day
living
c. Family members must feel a sense of recognition, support, assurance and reliance
within the family, because if not, they go outside if this family to look for it.
3. It establishes models of communication behavior
a. It is important that parents serve as models of comm behavior.
i. “Do as I say, not as I do” - children imitates what their parents do, for
example if the child hears the mom saying bad stuff about their neighbors,
the child will also imitate that kind of behavior.
ii. Modelling behavior is especially important in managing conflicts

VII. Dealing with Family Tensions (McCornack, 2010)

Within all family relationships, ongoing tensions exist between competing impulses, known as
relational dialectics: ​autonomy versus connection and ​openness versus protection.​ As we mature,
we must balance our desire for autonomy and the connection we have with our families as well
as the expectations and obligations we face as family members. We can strike a balance by
applying the following techniques:
a. Balancing Autonomy and Connection
Although we want to feel connected with our family, we also have the dilemma of creating our
own separate identity. Hence we might ask ourselves how to manage the tension between
autonomy and connection in our family. This could be solved by using three relationship
maintenance strategies namely: ​sharing activities, sharing tasks, and cultivating social networks.
However, we should strike a balance between family relationship and outside involvements for
each.
Ø ​Sharing activities​- implementing special family rituals can give a family a shared sense of
identity and closeness. However, don’t share routines ​only with family members as it could
erode the sense of independence you need as an adult. Learn to establish routine and rituals
with romantic partners, friends and coworkers as well.
Ø ​Sharing tasks-​ balance your dependence on family members to help you carry out everyday
tasks (chores, work, errands) with reliance on yourself and other people outside your family.
Too much dependence could erode your self-reliance, self-confidence and independence.
Ø ​Cultivating social networks-​ examine your social network and evaluate how many family
members constitute the closest people in your life. As with shared activities and tasks, a
balance between family relationships and outside connections is ideal

b. Balancing Openness and Protection

Even in family relationships, we want both to share personal information and to protect ourselves
from the possible negative consequences of such sharing. The balance between openness versus
protection is typically defined through ​family communication rules.​
Family communication rules delve on the following boundary conditions:
1. What family members can talk about
2. How they can discuss such topics
3. Who should have access to family-relevant information
To improve family communication rules and bring about a better balance of openness and
protection:
Ø First, all families identify both approved and taboo conversational topics, certain viewpoints
that they want to espouse over others, and people whom they include in and exclude from
receiving information about the family.
Ø Second, be respectful of the varying opinions and preferences individual family members
have regarding openness and protection.
Ø Finally, if you believe that communication rules should be altered to allow greater openness
or increased protection, avoid abrupt, dramatic, and demanding calls for change.

VIII. Featured Study

Family Meal Practices and Well-Being in Hong Kong: The Mediating Effect of Family
Communication by Ho et. al (2018)
1. Examined associations between family meals and positive family individual outcomes.
2. Studies have found that family meal frequency is positively associated with family
functioning, family connectedness, psychosocial well-being, positive social skills,
engagement in school, and healthy eating behaviors, and is inversely associated with
depressive symptoms, poorer mental health, problematic social behaviors, and unhealthy
eating behaviors
3. Family members who share meals together are likely to have more family support,
positive communication, and parental involvement, guidance, and monitoring
4. Furthermore, having meals together enables family members to exchange information
and express emotions to foster a supportive and stable family environment

References: (Alexa)
1. Peterson, R. (2009.). Families First-Keys to Successful Family Functioning:
Communication.
2. Caughlin, J. P., Schrodt, P., & Fitzpatrick, M. A. (2002). Interpersonal Communication in
Family Relationships. SAGE Journals.
3. Verderber, K. S., & Verderber, R. F. (2001). Inter-Act: Interpersonal Communication
Concepts, Skills, and Contexts (9th ed.). Canada: Wadsworth.