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Q uiet L ightning
sPARKLE
& bLINK
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Nov 3 10
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contents «
maisha johnson
jeremy hatch
t HE s CHEMERS
hollie hardy
h OW t O l AND a p LANE
t HE e XCISION
chris cole
n OTE t O s ELF
xX
nic alea
h OSPITAL
l IGHTS o FF
a T w HAT p OINT
amanda snyder
t HE n OSY n EIGHBOR
matt stewart
o PENING a CT
andrew o dugas
a FTER t HE m USEUM
seth fischer
p APERCLIPS
hk rainey
t HE d IVER
ml heath
f ALLBACK a FTERNOON
i NTELLIGENCE
m Y g REATEST f EAR (p ART 47)
daniel ishofsky
s PRING c LEANING
Maisha Johnson
a t HOUSAND g IRLS b
EFORE
and even when we think we’ve missed our train
we are
where we were always meant
to be
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« 8»
Maisha Johnson
t HE o NE w HO w AS w
ATCHING
you were the one who used your eyes like
wind over grass to lift the hairs on my body
in waves down my spine and you thought i
knew you were watching and maybe i did,
maybe i sensed my corner window didn’t
stare into darkness but into your eyes, and
that’s why i never undressed completely
before it, always kept some cloth over my
body like it was silk and not gravity that
would keep me bound to the earth. those
nights when i was alone, i found myself
hovering above ground, awake and severed
from the threads of the universe tied
together by sleep. and now that you’ve told
me you’ve been watching i’m not afraid, like
you expected. you’re in my room all dressed
in black and i’m smiling to think that you
were the one who saw me dancing, saw me
speaking by moving my body, not my lips,
and now i can get that devil off my shoulder,
the one that says no one’s listening. did you
think i was dancing for you? did you think i
belonged to you, your sparrow in a cage,
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« 10 »
Maisha Johnson
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Jeremy Hatch
t HE s CHEMERS
At nine in the morning he sat at his kitchen
table and drank his coffee, early for him, the
previous night he had gone to bed early and
sober, because the prior night he had gone
to bed late and drunk, and now he was
drinking coffee and not hungry for breakfast
yet, so he decided to leave it at that, just the
coffee, with no intention of leaving the
house even though the day was bright and
sunny and cold and windy, his favorite kind
of day.
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« 14 »
Jeremy Hatch
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Jeremy Hatch
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Jeremy Hatch
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Jeremy Hatch
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Jeremy Hatch
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h OW t O l AND a p LANE
It’s the small things that hold us. Handcuffs
and leftover puzzle pieces. Names like
fences that keep us home. Always the
stories are about freedom. How to
disentangle. How to unglue.
t HE e XCISION
I can still hear the searing sound of the saw
splintering through the bones, the cracking
crunch, like a fortune cookie breaking open,
as my rib cage pried apart. My heart did not
come out easily. Arteries snapped and
popped. Bright blood, splashed scarlet on
pink curtains, a Jackson Pollack Valentine.
Blood in my mouth, a bitter tang, thick as
motor oil. Blood in my eyes, blinding. Blood
in my hair, knotted sticky with clots.
Handfuls of blood.
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Hollie Hardy
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« 28 »
Hollie Hardy
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n OTE t O s ELF
dear self,
worked out
if we wanna see this thing through
but
when you look at the big picture
genocide
war
famine
floods
you can see that there are forces of nature
out there
lurking
or maybe even looking
for us
we have gone through so much
and i'm not trying to lessen the pain you've
felt
i've felt
the distance that has grown between us
hasn't made it easier to deal with
well
you know
i'm just saying
i was reading the news
and it made me think
which i know you said not to do
but
i was able to think and feel
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« 32 »
Chris Cole
we are on a budget
but that isn't the point
ok
well
at least not the point i'm trying to make
i think we've been looking at this whole
problem
between you and i
the wrong way
we need help
help from the outside
maybe if we got a few people on board
started one of those think tanks
maybe we could begin to fix things
it's just an idea
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alright
well maybe we can talk about this tomorrow
by the way
that girl you liked
she said she would totally be into
you know
both of us
she just wants to meet you first
much love,
your better half
« 34 »
Chris Cole
xX
there are moments
when i want to break away
from where the path seems to be going
not because i know where it leads
or because i don't know
but because
there is a feeling
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is comforting
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h OSPITAL
my mother used to be an employee of the
hospital
now she is a patient of the hospital
dad drives slow to the hospital
drink coffee at the hospital
know secret passageways at the hospital
dad looks ancient at the hospital
sister looks lost at the hospital
body’s all bones at the hospital
everything’s so quiet at the hospital
used to make tally marks
from quill pens
scraped deep into my hipbones
count the times
i’ve stood outside the hospital
because the outside of the hospital
reminds me of
the inside of the hospital
the outside of the hospital
reminds me of
the inside of the hospital
of the inside
on the inside
on the inside of the hospital
i send overnight packages
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Nic Alea
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l IGHTS o FF
the last time you cut yourself was,
the last time you cut yourself was,
the last time you cut yourself was because
« 40 »
Nic Alea
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« 42 »
Nic Alea
bushes,
do you ever call yourself brutally beautiful/.
do you ever call yourself naked body,
hold your calloused fingers to your razor,
do you call yourself lover/.
and your name is something that i said once,
and your name is copper on my tongue
and your name is rose bush
and your name is
you don’t need a confessional booth
as long as no one’s watching
and you cut yourself
as deep as when
he touched you
and he touched you
and you cut yourself
because he touched you
and you can’t sleep with the lights off
because if those lights are off
you can’t find your razor,
can’t see your cuts with the lights off
can’t stop thinking with the lights off
and every time he touches you
you are a little bit more dead
but each time you cut yourself
you are a little bit more alive
and each day now
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« 44 »
Nic Alea
« 45 »
Matthew James DeCoster
a T w HAT p OINT?
In April my partner and I helped you pull off
a sensational wedding, the second for you
and your new bride. You were surrounded by
family and friends, all shining more than the
magnificent Malibu sea. The guests were
also gleaming with satisfaction and joy that
you and your bride had finally found
happiness with the “right one.” We, never
just guests, were called upon to decorate
with perfect swags and centerpieces. The
night before the nuptials, I drew your bride’s
scented bath to soothe her anxiety over
proper coffee cup placement. We made 80
salads; I lovingly brushed your tuxedo with
my lint brush. I assisted with seating
arrangements and happily kept your bride
away from her dour sisters she didn’t want
to see.
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« 48 »
Matthew James DeCoster
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Matthew James DeCoster
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« 52 »
Matthew James DeCoster
« 53 »
t HE n OSY n EIGHBOR
So maybe it’s because I’m bored or maybe
I’m just nosy, but the fact that I don’t have
cable probably has something to do with it: I
found myself two nights ago with my ear
pressed to the hardwood floor of my second
story apartment. Ah, the joys of city living.
You see, my neighbors were fighting
again. I heard some slamming, then a
“JESUS CHRIST!”, then some more
slamming, then a very adamant, “Now listen
to me.”
They are a couple, downstairs from me.
A woman about my age and a man probably
10 years older. True to every big-city
stereotype, I have lived above them for
three years and I don’t know their names.
But due to the thin ceilings and floors
though, I know they like big band and swing
music with the occasional John Denver track
thrown in. I know they have birds. Birds!
Who has fucking birds? I know that when I
fall over three times in a bananeira
handstand and go crashing to the floor, they
bang on the ceiling. I know when they fuck
and I know when they fight.
And maybe it’s because there’s no
Amanda Snyder
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o PENING a CT
She let him get her drunk. It was easy with
martinis. One hour and the floor shimmered;
two hours and the chandeliers danced. He’d
selected a hotel bar, murmur-filled and
businesslike, the sort of place that stocked
forty brands of Scotch and no jukebox.
Cleaner than her usual dives and accordingly
more expensive, but over the course of their
35 pre-date emails he’d insisted on paying,
and she was inclined to let him.
They were both working entry-level. He
was in finance. She was in PR. He told her he
hated his job after the first martini. She told
him she liked that he told her he hated his
job, then admitted that she also hated her
job but had been scared to say so. Not
exactly scared, to be precise, rather it hadn’t
occurred to her to admit she hated her job
so early in their first date. Maybe she hated
her job less than he did. Definitely, he
jumped in, explaining that his dream was to
own a coffeeshop, rising early to review
pastry deliveries and chat up customers and
tinker with coffee-bean combinations, in the
evening hosting art receptions and bluegrass
« 58 »
Matt Stewart
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Matt Stewart
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a FTER t HE m USEUM
We are caught in the moonlight
like classical statues,
bloodless and bone-white.
Where am I?
« 64 »
Andrew O. Dugas
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p APERCLIPS
I once worked writing memos for a politician
who wouldn’t let us use paperclips. She was a
powerful and decent woman. I liked
paperclips, but I didn’t complain.
« 68 »
H.K. Rainey
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t HE d IVER
His body was dimpled
pale as a dumpling.
You could
still see
part
of the
medal-decorated
diver in
him:
« 70 »
H.K. Rainey
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caught up
instead
in a flurry of wind,
and was dashed//against
the clapboards of the neighboring house.
« 72 »
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f ALLBACK a FTERNOON
Past the bedroom window, a flash of colors:
balloons on a fast motorized cable car
shaming the sunset.
« 74 »
M.L. Heath
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i NTELLIGENCE
My intelligence is jewels and barbed wire
Dub vapor of Tubby and Scratch
the tube amp rasp of Link and Childish
And yet
Though a clearly resilient thing
Why do past mistakes not register
Set me back onto another detour in
the ratrace maze
« 76 »
M.L. Heath
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M.L. Heath
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s PRING c LEANING
If you're going to burn everything you own in
a fire pit on Ocean Beach, do it on a Monday.
On the weekends, people stake out pits as
early as 9 AM. Also, per budget cuts and
recent activity in Oakland, the police do not
comb the beach during the week.
If you can pack everything you own into
two large duffel bags that would be ideal as
you don't want to have to make more than
one trip from the bus stop, as even though
you're burning everything, it would be a
shame to have anything stolen. Gift the
items you are too weak to burn: Your copy of
The Prophet. Your fishing rod and tackle in
the hopes that someone will learn and feed
themselves for a lifetime. The first, and only,
Playboy you ever bought when you were
sixteen with Cindy Crawford on the cover.
You bought it along with a post card of
Times Square, and a pack of gum so the
cashier would think you bought Playboys all
the time. After about half an hour of ogling
the pictures, you got bored, and now the
shreds of the postcard hold the places of
your favorite jokes and an interview with Ray
Bradbury. Put the magazine into a manila
Quiet Lightning » sPARKLE & bLINK
« 82 »
Daniel Ishofsky
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« 84 »
Daniel Ishofsky
« 85 »
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