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Kelly Duong

Professor Beadle

English 115

10 February 2019

Happiness: A Spatial Duality

We are all chasing after this grand idea that we call “happiness,” but are we really doing

everything we can to be happy? While “happiness” is subjective and what makes someone happy

varies from person to person, there are crucial changes everyone can make to both one’s internal

and external space to achieve a higher level of happiness. David Brooks, an accredited journalist,

and Sonja Lyubomirsky, a Stanford graduate and psychology professor, focus on ways we can

transform our internal space, or mental states and perspectives to be happier. On the other hand,

Graham Hill, a “journalist, entrepreneur, and designer,” targets how we can change our external

environment to increase our happiness level. They discuss in their essays internal and external

changes that everyone can make to achieve a higher level of happiness, however, the one concept

overlapping across all three essays is the importance of interpersonal relationships.

In order to be happy, we first need to understand what makes us happy, and strangely

enough, this understanding comes from the opposite of happiness: our suffering. David Brooks

in the essay, “What Suffering Does,” argues that while everyone chases after happiness, the force

that really shapes their being and mental state is their suffering. He states that,“The theologist

Paul Tillich wrote that people who endure suffering… find they are not who they believed

themselves to be” (285). In other words, we learn more about ourselves through the suffering we

endure. He further explains with a metaphor comparing the human psyche to a multiple story
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building, or a ​internal​ “space,” that as we all endure higher levels of suffering, we break through

floors of this ​mental​ building, which leads us to understand ourselves at a deeper level (286). He

suggests that as we get to know ourselves better through suffering, we grow to understand our

own limitations. By understanding that we can’t control everything that happens around us, we

can learn to let go of things easier. This may also help decrease our stress levels, and keep us

from being too hard on ourselves. Simply coming to understand the abundance of contributions

suffering makes to our character and changing our perspective of it from a negative one to one of

appreciation can increase our happiness level. Brooks also discusses his concept of “holiness,”

which he explains as “...trying to redeem something bad by turning it into something sacred.”

One example he uses is ​that​ of parents who create foundations for their past children (286). He

demonstrates​ the good that can come from suffering. By seeing suffering in a different

perspective, as something that forms us, as something that we can grow from, and as something

we can repurpose to benefits those outside of ourselves, we can reach a new level of

understanding about ourselves. Understanding ourselves, is a critical step that leads us to

understand what makes us happy, and in return we can work towards it with more direction.

Sonja Lyubomirsky argues in her essay “How happy are you and why?” that whether we

are happy or not is completely up to us and the changes we make. She explains that people have

trouble attaining happiness because they’re searching for it in the materialistic world while in

fact, “The reason that it’s [happiness] not out there is that it’s inside us… happiness, more than

anything, is a state of mind… So, if you want to be happy tomorrow… you can do it by choosing

to change and manage your state of mind” (Lyubomirsky 185). Her argument can relate to the
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concept Brooks was trying to emphasize, just how important it is that we understand the ​internal

space of our minds and inner selves​ on a deeper level, because it will allow us to have a better

idea of what makes us happy. Lyubomirsky further reinforces her argument when she states

that,“50 percent of the differences among our happiness levels is determined by set points

[genetic predispositions] (and 10 percent, let’s not forget, by circumstances), fully 40 percent is

still available to us to mold” (Lyubomirsky 189). She supports her claim with multiple genetic

case studies with both fraternal and identical twins to prove that our genetics play a huge role in

determining our happiness set points. While our set points, or genetic predispositions do make up

fifty percent of our happiness capacity, whether it affects us negatively depends on if we let

ourselves be exposed to an environment that will activate those predispositions. By removing

ourselves or limiting the amount of exposure we have to stressful situations and stress in general,

we can increase our happiness level. One of the changes she suggests is that we teach ourselves

to stop blaming our external environment and circumstances for our unhappiness because they

only make up ten percent of what influences our happiness capacity. ​She writes, “If you’re

unhappy with your job, your friends, your marriage, your salary, or your looks, the first step you

should take toward reaching greater lasting happiness is to… keep reminding yourself that these

things are not really what is preventing you from getting happier” (186)​.This also extends to the

understanding that materialistic items will not necessarily bring us extended amounts of

happiness, and to stop blaming our lack of wealth for our unhappiness. Overall, the main point

she stresses in her essay is that happiness is a ​choice.​ By transforming our mental perspective

from just accepting we are unhappy due to our happiness set points and external circumstances,
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to taking action and working towards our happiness, we can ultimately control our happiness

level.

While Brooks and Lyubomirsky focus on how changing our internal spaces will increase

our level of happiness, Graham Hill discusses in his essay, ”Living with less. A lot less,” the

effect of our external environment on our mental state and happiness level. Specifically, he

argues that by simplifying our external space to be easier to maintain in order to decrease our

stress levels and carbon footprint, it will ultimately increase happiness. Hill used to live a very

lavish and materialistic driven life before simplifying it after realising that his external wealth did

not bring him extended amounts of happiness. According to Lyubomirsky, his happiness did not

remain because “...people readily and rapidly adapt to positive circumstantial changes.” (195).

This observation shows and gives an explanation to why we rarely continue to be satisfied and

happy with our wealth. Hill himself is an example that supports Lyubomirsky’s argument that

only ten percent of happiness comes from our external circumstances. Hill also talked about how

stressful maintaining his lavish lifestyle was and how it was a hassle for him (309). He had

“lawns to mow, gutters to clear, floors to vacuum, roomates to manage” (309). Hence, a simpler,

less demanding lifestyle would mean less stress, minimal complications, and conclusively an

increase in one’s happiness and satisfaction. While Lyubomirsky argues that only ten percent of

our happiness is from our external circumstances, Hill discusses how the changes he made

externally h​ ave​ changed his mentality​ and made him happier. Living in a smaller space, and

owning less material items has heavily de-stressed his life, but another plus to living smaller is

minimizing one’s carbon footprint. According to “experts… consumerism and all that it

entails… plays a big part in pushing our planet to the brink” (Hill 310). Hill directly addressed
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this issue and said,“I feel better that my carbon footprint is significantly smaller than in my

previous super-sized life” (Hill 311). In other words, according to Hill, wasting less resources

has a positive correlation with one’s happiness. Seeing Hill as an example of how minimal living

and accepting that external wealth does not bring extended periods of happiness, we learn that

we can increase our individual happiness levels by living with less. To conclude, Hill suggests

simplifying space to be easier for the owner to maintain, which will decrease stress levels,

increase happiness levels, and cause less guilt about leaving a carbon footprint.

While all three authors argue about how we can increase our happiness level from

different aspects and angles, there is one constant idea emphasized between them: the importance

of relationships. Relationships between people can both increase one’s happiness and benefit

from suffering ​through their duality as both internal and external spaces​. In Lyubomirsky’s

essay, she discusses an interview she conducted with a woman named Angela and wrote, “Still,

with all that has happened [verbal and physical child abuse from ​her​ mother, and a divorce] and

all the challenges that have come to pass, Angela considers herself a very happy person. Her

daughter, Ella, to whom she is extremely close, brings her endless joy”(180). It is her

relationship with her daughter that makes her happy so she chooses to focus her life around her.

She is choosing her environment and choosing to control her happiness through her relationship

with her daughter. ​The physical act of being with her daughter can be categorized as an external

space, however, the relationship has a positive benefit to Angela’s mental state, or internal space.

Hill gave a personal anecdote about how he fell in love with a woman named Olga and that his

relationship was what put his life into perspective (311). He said, “...my life never looked the

same. I live smaller and travel lighter. I have more time and money…” (311). His relationship
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with Olga showed him that he does not need material things to be happy because it was the

relationship itself that made him happy,​ in other words, his external relationship changed his

internal reasoning. ​ Brooks discusses how “Often, physical or social suffering can give people an

outsider’s perspective, an attuned awareness of what other outsiders are enduring” (Brooks 284).

He supports his claim with the example of how “Franklin Roosevelt came back deeper and more

sympathetic after being struck with Polio”(284). When people are more empathetic, their

relationships grow stronger as they are able to put themselves in other’s shoes to relate and try to

understand them better. Brooks also argues that suffering is all about encouraging connections

with others when he says, “Even while experiencing the worst and most lacerating

consequences… They [people] hurl themselves deeper and gratefully into their art, loved ones

and commitments” (Brooks 287). Brooks ultimately argues that suffering brings people together

and strengthens relationships. ​In this instance, it is one’s internal space changed through

suffering that affects how they address their external space and their external relationships.

Across all three essays, it is stressed that happiness can be found in others, in building

relationships, and through how they form us, ​showing that it is the duality of relationships as

both external and internal spaces that leads to an increase in one’s level of happiness​.

From changing our mentality to appreciate suffering and learning to take more

responsibility over our happiness to minimizing our external material uses, we can all increase

our happiness levels. Brooks argues that happiness can be found through appreciation of our

suffering. On the other hand, Lyubomirsky argues that we choose if we are happy or not. They

argue the mental aspect of happiness while Hill discusses how “living with less” elevated his

happiness level. However, the one main constant that positively correlates with happiness is our
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relationships to those around us. As Hill says, “Intuitively, we know that the best stuff in life

isn’t stuff at all, and that relationships, experiences, and meaningful work are the staples of a

happy life” (311) .

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Work Cited

​ ursuing Happiness,​ edited by Matthew Parfitt and

Brooks, David. “What Suffering Does.”​ P

D​awn Skorczewski, Bedford St. Martin’s, 2016, pp. 284-287.

Hill, Graham. “Living With Les. A Lot Less.” ​Pursuing Happiness​, edited by Matthew Parfitt

a​nd Dawn Skorczewski, Bedford St. Martin’s, 2016, pp. 308-313.

Lyubomirsky, Sonja. “How Happy Are You and Why?” ​Pursuing Happiness​, edited by Matthew

P​arfitt and Dawn Skorczewski, Bedford St. Martin’s, 2016, pp. 179-197.