Professional Documents
Culture Documents
I I Boundaries
PSYCHOLOGICALDISTANCE
Often the way family members sit in a sessionindicates family mem-
bers' affiliations. This is a soft indicator, which the therapist should ac-
cept only as a first impressionthat must be investigated,corioborated,
or dismissed.The therapist will monitor spatial indicators,and also a va-
riety of others. When a family member is talking, the therapist notices
who interrupts or connpletesinformation, who supplies confirmation,
and who gives help. Threseare, again,sofbdata, but they give the thera-
pist a tentative map of who is closeto whom, what the affiIiations,coali-
tions, and overinvolveddyads or triads are in this family, and what pat-
terns expressand support the structure. He can then useeither cognitive
constructsor concretemaneuversto create new boundaries.
The therapist with the Hanson family uses a cognitive construct to
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148 Family Therapy Techniques
"Since the mother and child are usually together when you are at work,
it would be nice for you to join with me in observinghow they resolveit,"
or, "Sincethe mother and daughterare both womenand neitheryou nor
I has had experiencein being a four- or 27-year-oldfemale, the mother
must understandyour daughter better. Let's observetheir danceand see
what we can learn."
Or the therapist may decidein this situation to expand the definition
of the problem from the mother-child overinvolvernentby introducing
the father's participation in maintaining the child's symptomatology.In
this strategy,he will keep the focuson the child but increasethe father's
participation in the parental subsystemso as to separate the overin-
volved dyad. He might say to the parents,"When a four-year-oldis taller
than her mother, maybe she is sitting on the shouldersof her father," or,
"A four-year-oldis no match for her parents if they pull together," or, "If
you cannot handle a young kid, maybe you are pulling in different direc-
tions," or, "You two must be doing somethingwrong: I don't know what
it could be, but I am sure if you think together, you will find out wtrat it
is, and moreover,you will find out the solution," or, "As things go, you
are defeatingeachother, and in someway you are hurting and exploiting
a child that both of you love very much, so we will need to find a way in
which you help each other so you can help your child." This support of
the parental subsyslem aims at increasingboth the psychologicaldis-
tance between the mother and child and the proximity between the
spouses,giving them a common task as parents.
If the therapist decidesto concentrateon the spousedyad and their
dysfunctional transaction and in that way to separatethe overinvolved
mother-child dyad, he will have to handicap the child's detouring strat-
egy. He may say to the child, "You are a nice, protective, and obedient
child by misbehaving. . . having a headache. . . failing in school,when-
ever your parents fee[ uncomfortable with each other," or, "When you
explain your parents' behavior, or when you support your mother or fa-
ther, I am fascinatedhy how fast you move from being ten years old to
being 65 or 208 years old, and then running back to becomefour years
old. But isn't it strangewhen you becomeyour mother or father's gtand-
mother? I will help you grow down. Bring your chair near me and be
quiet while your parents deal with issuesthat concernthem, where you
don't have any reasonto be, and no competencewhatsoever."Or the
therapist can tell one or both of the parents, "I want you to help your
child to grow down by askingher to be quiet while you two discussyour
issues."
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151 Boundaries
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Farnily Therapy Techniques
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153 Boundaries
ventions by calling to the attention of Bonnie and all other family mem-
t
5 . bers the incapacitatingeffectsthat their help has on Bonnie.
:l -,{i :'With the Brown family, the therapist usesa number of techniquesfor
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',rvt 4r "' boundary making: rearrangementof physical spaceto indicate subsys-
'
tems, utilization of himself to protect the subsystemfrom the intrusion
of other family subsystems,and a reasonfor his support of the subsys-
tem. The first two interventions are concretemaneuvers,the last a cog-
nitive construct.In this situation they are sufficientto activate a family
member, Bonnie, to protect the father-daughtersubsystem.trn the
, tfiempe'utic precess, a nunTbercf different bourdary'ma.king techniq*ses
5
will need to be employed and used repeatedly before they can acLrieve
sufficient intensity to producestructural change.
l At times,the utilization of spatial metaphorsmay take the form of the
rearrangementof chairs in two circlesto protect two subsystemssimul-
taneously,or the turning of a chair 180o to isolate or protect a member,
or the removal of an empty chair or an ashtray or a pocketbook from
betweenspousesto indicate the needfor proximity. The closenessof the
therapist to a member,his kneelingor touching her, or his standinghigh
above her are all indicators of connectedness that do not require verbal
or cognitive qualifiers.
In situations in which the executivesubsystemincludesan incompe-
tent member and an intrusive, helpfiJ, and competent member, the
therapist may ask the "competent one" to observe from beyond the
one-waymirror how the "helpless" member handlesthings when she is
without the "competent" help. Another nonverbaltechniqueis simply to
ask parents to bring to the sessiononly certain membersof the farnil3"
and not others,indicating in that way a separationof subsystems.Or the
therapist may indicate who is to participate in different sessions.
In certain families with a chaotic style of communication,where theire
is continual inte,rmption arrsimultaneoustalking, the therapist may find
that the threshold of noiseis abovehis capacityfor comfortablecornmu-
nication. He can then use artificial devices,such as inventing a game in
I Whichpeoplesit silently in a circle and only a dyad or a triad may go into
the middle to communicate;or the therapist provides the participants
with an objecu''ihat,chalk, key) to indicate which family membershave
the right to taik. In addition, wheneverthe stresstrna sessionincreases
beyond the therapistfscapacityto be effective,a brlninution in the num=
ber of participants immediately createsa different subsystemwith dif-
ferent alternativesfor the reduction of stress.
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L54 Family Therapy Techniques
DURATION OF INTERACTION
Extending or lengtheninga process,which is one way of increasingits
intensity, ffiaY also he utilized to demarcate subsystemsor to separate
them. In thesesituations,the content of the transactionis lessirnportant
than the fact that the transaction occurs.
In the Kuehn family, after the mother is able effectivelyto control her
daughter, the therapist brings in puppets and encouragesthe mother
and daughter to play. This processis kept up for over r\4'entyminutes
without any intermption by the therapist, except for the introduction
after ten minutes of the father as a playmate. The therapist is concerned
not with the content of the transaction but only with keeping first the
mother-daughterholon and later the mother-father-daughterholon in a
pleasurablesituation long enough to establish a complernentarycoun-
terpoint with the accustomedcontrolling rnother-daughtersubsysrem.
The previous techniques occur within the therapeutic system in the
therapist's presence.The therapist is involved in monitoring the bound-
aries, if he is not actually a boundary himsetf. But to be effective,ther-
apy must be maintained outside of the session.When a therapist is con-
cerned with maintaining a particular subsystern,he may give the family
homework to support the processesinitiated in the session.His "ghost"
then carries the thera.peutictask. Practicing unaccustomedtransactions
in a natural setting facilitates structural change.
Like techniquesusedwithin the session,interventions outsidethe ses-
sion can affect affiliations in spaceor time. In the Pulaski farniJy,a wid-
owed mother is overinvolved with her hypochondriacal lg-year-old
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daughter. The therapist gives the mother a task: find somethjng to do
that involves only herself.The mother, who is somewhatoverweight,in-
forms the therapist at the next t she has joined a diet group.
The task in this situation i up to the mother to select
what is appropriate withirr her own life ntext. A task to increasethe
proximity of spousescould be an assignmen ch is to relate for a week
in a way that will give satisfactionto the ot but without telling the
other what the plan is. In the next session,the sesare askedto de-
scribethe changesin eachother.
In other cases,the therapist will in-
stance,in a family with an overinvolved er-sondyad with a periph-
eral husband,the therapist may direct the father to help the boy with his
homework, or contro.l the boy when he misbehaves,or teach the boy
how to play soccer on"do carpentry, with the explanation that, ,,since
you are a man and your son will grow to be a rnan, you should discipline
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. . . or teach . . . or play with him for the next week." A task of this sort
can be supported by a statement of concern for the mother, such as,
"since your wife has been working so hard with Billy, it is important
that she should take a week or two of rest." The specificationof a time
Ifunit givesthe family the framework of transition and experimentation
and facilitates their participation in the searchfor alternative solutions.
A different techniquefor creating boundariesin overinvolveddyadsis
the use of paradoxicaltasks,in which the therapist suggestsor directs an
increasein the proximity of family membersof an overinvolveddyad or
e+*beyetem.F€,r'k*et&s€€-she m*y drs€€€an everpr.etee€ivemotlrer eo irr-
creaseher attention to a child's minor needs,or instruct an overinvolved
spouseto keep close.rtrack of his spouse'swhereabouts.The aim of this
technique is to increasethe conflict betweenparticipants,which will be
followed by an increasein their distance.
Various techniques of boundary making are used with the Hanson
family, after the therapist has asked Alan to talk to his father.
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156 Family Therapy Techniques
Since the therapist, by this point in the session,has seen thab three
dyadic subsystemsin the farnily operate with intrusive overprotection,
he will automatically look at all transactionsthat occur in terms of their
ability to support or curtail competenceand autonomy. As a result, he
supports Pete's autonomy by blocking the unnecessaryhelp from Peg
and by affiliating with him in his competence.Then the therapist moves
back to the mother-daughtersubsystem.
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The therapist blocks Peg frorn taking her habitual position as the
thhd person in the spousesubsystem.
Father: Much as I feel I have to changean awful lot, I think you have to
change.
Mother: In what way?
Father: Oh, general mannerisrns,your attitude toward me personally. I
feel very deeply hu:rt many tirnes.
Mother: How?
Father: I feel you don't feel I am a fuII man-a full husband. I feel you
look down on me rnany, many times.
Mother: How do I act that makes you feel I look down on you?
Father: Sometimesyou don't have to act, you can just look.
Mother: But I don't understandwhat-like what do I do that givesyou
that impression? How do I-<bviously I-
Father: I'm trying to look for an answer here.
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