My Blog Book

Rosenvaldo Simes de Souza

From Blog to Book.

rosenvaldo-english.blogspot.com

Contents
1 2004 1.1 May . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.1.1 1.1.2 1.1.3 1.1.4 1.1.5 1.1.6 1.2 Before the light turns o ... (2004-05-27 02:14) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . What this blog is and what it is not ... (2004-05-28 00:51) . . . . . . . . . . . . . What this blog is and what it is not ... - part 2 (2004-05-28 00:53) . . . . . . . . . General - what I mean by general ? (2004-05-28 06:55) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . General: Space-time: now! (2004-05-29 07:17) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . General: Help me Im a rock! (2004-05-30 07:32) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 9 9 10 11 13 15 17 18 18 19 21 22 23 25 26 27 28 30 30 31 32 34 35 36 38 39 3

June . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.2.1 1.2.2 1.2.3 1.2.4 1.2.5 1.2.6 1.2.7 1.2.8 1.2.9 General: all very simple... (2004-06-01 11:57) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . General: The ills of technology (2004-06-03 12:00) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . General: A lot of things - part 1 (2004-06-07 05:51) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . General: A lot of things - Part 2 (2004-06-07 13:32) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . General: nobody until now... (2004-06-10 06:44) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . General: In search of a new soul... (2004-06-17 07:22) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . everything more simple (2004-06-19 09:32) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I hate this blog (2004-06-23 09:49) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Strange nostalgia (2004-06-27 10:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

1.3

July . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.3.1 1.3.2 1.3.3 1.3.4 1.3.5 1.3.6 1.3.7 1.3.8 I know nobody reads this blog ... (2004-07-03 11:02) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Staying alive... (2004-07-10 11:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Happy birthday! (2004-07-12 12:11) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . What forbids me... (2004-07-14 05:31) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Them or us (2004-07-18 06:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Orkut and conceptual horizons (2004-07-23 06:54) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terrorism and the digital void (2004-07-26 09:33) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Stillborn (2004-07-26 10:19) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

1.3.9 1.4

Opera, Francis Crick and futility of existence (2004-07-30 11:23) . . . . . . . . . .

41 42 42 44 45 45 46 47 48 49 49 51 51 52 53

August . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.4.1 1.4.2 1.4.3 1.4.4 1.4.5 1.4.6 1.4.7 1.4.8 1.4.9 Envying Bill Gates and Bertrand Russell (2004-08-01 11:47) . . . . . . . . . . . . Communities (2004-08-07 06:42) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I, Robot (2004-08-08 07:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Questions that do not want to shut up (2004-08-13 09:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jim Carrey - Eternal Sunshine (2004-08-14 10:36) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ecological Thought (2004-08-19 12:43) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Memory and popcorn (2004-08-22 13:46) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The lack and the excess of information (2004-08-25 05:50) . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Olympic ambitions (2004-08-28 05:49) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

1.5

September . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1.5.1 1.5.2 Collateral (2004-09-05 07:14) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Olga and information in a Blog abandoned to the ies (2004-09-14 08:07) . . . . .

2 2005 2.1 April . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2.1.1 3 2007 3.1 July . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.1.1 3.1.2 3.1.3 3.1.4 3.1.5 3.2 Still active (2007-07-13 12:18) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The public record (2007-07-13 12:30) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Blog and movies (2007-07-16 13:25) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Buying time (2007-07-30 13:49) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Well worked day (2007-07-31 14:20) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Long time! ... (2005-04-08 08:41) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

53 53 55 55 55 55 56 57 58 59 59 60 60 63

August . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.2.1 The inert bureaucracy, the old man and the corpse (2007-08-01 07:08) . . . . . . .

3.3

September . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.3.1 Credulity on the written word (2007-09-05 07:59) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

4 2008 4.1 February . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.1.1 4.1.2 4.1.3 4.1.4 4 A some cultivated blog (2008-02-20 08:13) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Long life, new look (2008-02-20 08:33) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Building the future from the past (2008-02-25 13:51) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Why use an agenda? (2008-02-25 14:44) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

63 63 64 64 65

4.2

March . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.2.1 4.2.2 4.2.3 4.2.4 4.2.5 4.2.6 4.2.7 False News: My blog about lies (2008-03-05 12:34) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I know you will kill all these lions, but... (2008-03-18 13:06) . . . . . . . . . . . . The addiction of the storyteller (2008-03-24 13:20) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The eternal backup (2008-03-24 18:50) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The cover of the agenda (2008-03-24 19:32) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The moral of the story (2008-03-24 19:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Awakening to the present (2008-03-25 20:37) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

66 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 74 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 83

4.3

April . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4.3.1 4.3.2 4.3.3 4.3.4 4.3.5 4.3.6 4.3.7 4.3.8 The Day of the Lion (2008-04-03 11:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A productive day (2008-04-04 18:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Perseverance and blographies (2008-04-07 16:38) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The deterioration of the things (2008-04-09 12:28) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . too many things (2008-04-10 14:08) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The price of success (2008-04-23 13:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The look of success (2008-04-23 19:59) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Backup is a hard work (2008-04-24 19:27) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

5 2009 5.1 June . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.1.1 5.1.2 5.1.3 5.2 Im not writing much (2009-06-04 00:15) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . My forgotten blogs (2009-06-04 00:22) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Disenchantment of the rock (2009-06-04 00:52) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

83 83 83 83 84 84 84 87

September . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5.2.1 5.2.2 Fruitless plans (2009-09-16 21:42) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Listbot (2009-09-16 21:55) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

6 2010 6.1 May . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.1.1 6.1.2 6.1.3 6.1.4 6.2 Apparently dead, but hibernating... (2010-05-15 02:11) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . six years (2010-05-17 09:08) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

87 87 87 88 88 89 89 91 5

Exploring the world with ngers (2010-05-17 09:45) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The dicult task of eternizing the past (2010-05-19 08:40) . . . . . . . . . . . . .

July . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.2.1 Alternative theories (2010-07-17 17:35) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

6.3

August . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

6.3.1 6.3.2 6.3.3 6.3.4 6.3.5 6.3.6 6.3.7 6.3.8 6.3.9 6.3.10 6.3.11 6.3.12 6.3.13 6.3.14 6.3.15 6.3.16 6.3.17 6.3.18 6.3.19 6.4

More doubts (2010-08-15 20:26) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cloroles (2010-08-15 20:40) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Useless Philosophy (2010-08-16 18:03) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Poor Zappa (2010-08-16 18:31) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The fate of the blogs (2010-08-16 18:53) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Metamorphose: the facts (2010-08-16 20:30) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The online marketing (2010-08-17 18:39) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Defend yourself! (2010-08-18 21:23) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A blog with a mission (2010-08-18 21:35) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Unpleasant surprises (2010-08-18 21:49) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . An innocent life (2010-08-18 21:58) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . To get to tomorrow (2010-08-29 16:51) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Longevity (2010-08-29 16:54) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dangerous times (2010-08-29 16:57) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Adherence to rules: your personality help you? (2010-08-29 16:59) . . . . . . . . . Rules and more rules (2010-08-29 17:04) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The circle of reciprocal protection (2010-08-29 17:07) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The learning process (2010-08-29 17:10) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Liking Paulo Coelho (2010-08-30 22:41) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

91 91 93 93 94 94 96 96 97 98 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 107 108 108 109 109 110 111 111 112 112 112 113 113 113 114 114

September . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.4.1 Zago: Online! (2010-09-22 21:39) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

6.5

October . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.5.1 6.5.2 6.5.3 6.5.4 Consumers (2010-10-07 18:54) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . My MP3 (2010-10-07 19:13) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . About the things I wrote (2010-10-14 20:20) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I love airplanes (2010-10-14 20:49) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

6.6

November . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.6.1 6.6.2 6.6.3 6.6.4 6.6.5 6.6.6 6.6.7 Confused blogs, lters of socialization and urgent questions (2010-11-16 19:47) . . Prolix, I? (2010-11-18 16:24) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . My passion for books (2010-11-18 16:34) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . In English... (2010-11-18 18:18) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Self-help books (2010-11-26 22:29) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Storyteller (2010-11-26 22:41) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tujuguaba (2010-11-26 23:50) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

6.7

December . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.7.1 The Firm (2010-12-04 16:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

7 2011 7.1 January . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.1.1 7.1.2 7.1.3 7.2 Happy new year (2011-01-09 18:17) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Where to begin? (2011-01-09 19:13) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Og Mandino: the story of a book (2011-01-27 18:29) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

117 117 117 118 119 121 121 122 122 123 123 124 124 124 125 125 126 126 127 128 128 129 129 130 130 130 130 131 132 133 134 136 137 138 138 7

May . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.2.1 7.2.2 7.2.3 7.2.4 7.2.5 Old times, old places (2011-05-07 06:37) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . About stop smoking... (2011-05-31 18:22) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nuclei from Conchal (2011-05-31 18:52) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . My dear Outlook (2011-05-31 19:02) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Exploring the world at home! (2011-05-31 21:04) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Little ant from So Paulo (2011-06-02 02:01) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Violated tag (2011-06-02 02:13) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Buying more books (2011-06-02 02:21) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Huberman and mans worldly goods (2011-06-02 02:35) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mind maps (2011-06-03 02:22) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I do not wanna, I do not like, I need to let go ... (2011-06-03 02:43) . . . . . . . . Italian Renaissance and Shopping Malls (2011-06-04 00:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . No one will be remembered for what not did (2011-06-04 01:02) . . . . . . . . . . Finally a cold day (2011-06-09 23:59) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cradle Rock (2011-06-26 15:10) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Privacidade (2011-06-26 16:59) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Doctor Feelgood (2011-06-26 17:07) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Towards a grand human past (2011-06-26 18:37) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

7.3

June . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.3.1 7.3.2 7.3.3 7.3.4 7.3.5 7.3.6 7.3.7 7.3.8 7.3.9 7.3.10 7.3.11 7.3.12 7.3.13

7.4

July . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.4.1 7.4.2 7.4.3 7.4.4 7.4.5 7.4.6 7.4.7 Another anniversary (2011-07-11 20:56) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Disbelief in humanity (2011-07-20 06:34) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Recycling and the power of ignorance (2011-07-21 11:38) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nice to meet you, Im your intranet ... (2011-07-23 06:02) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Advices (2011-07-23 06:40) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rock seventies (2011-07-23 08:12) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Amy Winehouse: Too Young To Die (2011-07-26 14:16) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

7.5

August . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7.5.1 Space is not enough in the world (2011-08-02 23:26) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

7.5.2 7.5.3 7.5.4 7.5.5 7.5.6 7.5.7 7.5.8 7.5.9 7.5.10 7.5.11 7.5.12 7.5.13 7.5.14 7.5.15 7.5.16

Passwords of life (2011-08-02 23:39) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Management and Ecology: the conuence of the waters (2011-08-03 00:22) . . . . Philosophize a little about Ecology (2011-08-03 01:21) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Unnished truths (2011-08-03 02:20) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

138 139 140 145 146 146 146 147 148 148 149 149 150 151 152

Many books (2011-08-03 04:18) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Me and my computers (2011-08-03 04:48) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Entropy and creaking cars (2011-08-03 05:06) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Fat, mysterious and cannibal brain (2011-08-03 05:41) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The third attitude (2011-08-03 06:14) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . What are diskettes? (2011-08-03 19:33) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . New look (2011-08-13 14:04) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jani Lane: Too Young To Die (2011-08-13 17:42) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Super 8 and the best of worlds (2011-08-13 21:37) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Conserving energy (2011-08-14 12:09) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rights and duties (2011-08-14 12:39) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter 1

2004
1.1
1.1.1

May
Before the light turns o ... (2004-05-27 02:14)

The idea is simple: I need perpetuate my ideas, even whether it are poor, even whether it are simple, even though it dont interest to anyone else. See each idea as a seed, which launched, can grow or not. Is my rm hope that I can put some order in an old 1999 agenda that I have used in recent years as a trunk of ideas, memories, conjectures, dreams and theories. So, there are many things in this agenda, and if it lose, the world loses together ...

[1] I intend to, and heres something more formal than just a I intend, I promise to be loyal with this blog, and make it fruitful and become a beautiful, organized and updated personal web page, because one thing is certain: I write a lot, always, every day, and I think it would be foolish not to share this with the universe ... is a matter of socialization ... Cmon ...

1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TPbvXnaN_GI/AAAAAAAAAHs/IfNbe9deNBg/s1600/20040527-0314.jpg

1.1.2

What this blog is and what it is not ... (2004-05-28 00:51)

I think that I write a second text for this blog is already an advance ... many blogs, I think, do not go beyond a dozen posts for a week or two at most, and then they are abandoned. I have also had one in the [1]IG site and I literally continued not beyond the rst posting. So why to have another? And anyway, what is exactly a blog? Going by parts: why to have a blog? Of course, the question refers only to me. Everyone can have his blog to put whatever he wants, but why I, Rosenvaldo, would need a blog? Depends on what is exactly a blog, and then we go to the second question: ultimately, what is even a blog? Before, to not lose the opportunity, Im listening to Cradle Rock, played by an unknown band called The Heartbreakers, who ourished - ourished is a way of speaking that the ancient Greeks used to refer to people they did not know exactly when they were born, but they had a moment of glory in their lives about to be remembered - in short, a band that I believe that ourished in California in the 50th in the last century. It means some kind of bee-bop style... and the music Cradle Rock is a great ballad... who that want to know where to nd, just look in the bookstores for a Frank Zappas CD called Cucamonga... something rare and ne ... But, what is a blog?

[2] The rst thought that comes is that it is a sort of online diary. A diary that the owner uses to tell the world his daily hardships and adventures. The second idea is that it is a kind of personal page, except that it is much easier to do and we no need to know any HTML code. The third idea is that it is a personal forum where the owner puts texts to visitors opine. The fourth idea is that it is an online book, that the owner uses to go on adding new pieces every day, until it is complete, at his taste. The fth idea, a little more exotic, is that it is a online notebook, and serves more as an electronic le that the owner keeps in some server in some place outside your home, to those his memories are preserved for posterity. Each idea has its merits and demerits, and I still do not know what Ill do with this my blog, but this text is a start yet. 10

1. http://www.ig.com.br/ 2. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TPbvmm_3v-I/AAAAAAAAAHw/et599okf22s/s1600/20040528-0151.jpg

1.1.3

What this blog is and what it is not ... - part 2 (2004-05-28 00:53)

The idea that a blog is a diary has the advantage that it is an electronic and public diary, but I personally do not see my blog as much as a diary. It can be a diary in terms. I can not conceive that I use my blog the same way I would use a personal diary, made in paper, that colored little agenda that comes with a sheet for each day, and at the end of the night when were already in bed, ready to sleep, pick it up from a drawer of a nightstand and philosophically noted our emotions during the day, our not solved problems, our secret dreams, our little crimes that we do not have the courage to tell anyone alive, but we think are worthy of being noted for any future use. I think writing a diary is a boredom. To be honest, Id written already a diary during a certain period of my life. It was a very strange experience, but Ill let to the next opportunity the story of my 1992 old diary. In short, it was dull to write every day, while reading it today, I see its as something valuable and that worth the eort of having been written. But I never would put it in public on the Internet. Maybe after some years of the facts, or with some lines and phrases censored, but then it would lose much of its originality and spontaneity. But it does not mean that this blog can not be another kind of diary. It can. Who knows, I can use my blog not to record the details of my day-to-day, or my innermost feelings, but I can use to record my rational thoughts, the ow of my ideas. It can be my diary that report my relationship with the outside world. I can register my perception of what happens in the world, on TV, at work. But in this case, it would be as closer to a daily newspaper as a diary. But has not that same newspaper which is considered a diary? In fact, they are very similar. But I will not write a newspaper. It seems to me that the Internet is already too full of this kind of subject. Unless Im somebody incredibly important, an authority on something of interest to the general public, as is the case of famous from politics, from journalism, from media, like Allan Greenspan, David Letterman, among many others. I do not think I would have something to contribute in this matter. The second idea, that the blog can be a personal homepage, seems partly true, but it is not. Sure, a blog and a homepage have something in common, namely both are in HTML format, can be accessed through a browser, are public, can be updated, enhanced, edited, etc., but I think a personal page contains more freedom of production, more organization in terms of technologic resources, and does not have the urge to be constantly updated as a blog. I mean, one not uptadet blog has no harm for it, but it does not arouse any interest to the public, only for the owner. Without being updated, the blog is like an old newspaper that we usually see on the counters in butcher shops, but we can not wrap meat in it. Already a homepage can contain most enduring subject. It is more like a book to a newspaper. Of course, depending on their content, a blog can be more durable in terms of interest, and a page could be more futile and disposable. Then both would be more like those monthly or weekly magazines than daily newspapers or eternal books. But this is not a magazine or a newspaper that I have in mind when Im writing a blog. At least for now, no. 11

[1] The third idea is that the blog is a forum, but I think that the blog as a forum loses much agility to competition. There are sites where we can create our own forum, which sorts by area of interest and is visited by people who share common interests. The fact that an owner who can have some control over what is published in a blog turns it in a more organized tool than a forum, where everyone usually normally have enough freedom to publish whatever he wants, including things that have no relations with the theme of the forum. These are the famous o-topic. By have an owner, the blog looks more like a guest book that accompanies a work of art that is exposed to the public and serves as a presence list book, with the advantage of it not merely receive a signature and a date. But remains the idea that the public must have no more prominence than the owner. The owners text is the art. Who wants to receive more attention than the owner must to create your own blog and go to make your show there. In this case, the blog is a kind of showcase for the owners texts. Partly yes, everyone likes to show o a little, and I am no exception to the rule, but this is not the main intention to start my blog. I see it more as a forum than a showcase. And I like the idea of having control of what the public adds to it because, face it, we can not discriminate based reviews and critical to our ideas and texts, but do not want people criticizing us in our own home, or be warned in public that a word is not written with x, but with two s. I like the idea of a blog as a forum. The fourth idea is that it, our dear blog, can be a book that will make over time. An e-book written almost live, with nearly simultaneous electronic applauses as well, via comments. This is not exactly my plan. Who has written a book, any monograph or any other written work that requires time and lots of pages and any organization knows that the Microsoft Word working oine is much more appropriate, and that writing something unnished and subject it to criticism before maturing this text is, in my view, a kind of masochist and dull. If you want applause, better is to publish something really carved and polished, not something primitive and unnished. Not that anyone would not want to do a book in this manner. Its just a matter of personal taste, and besides, I do not want to write a book. I have written one, and I know how it is. But the story of this book is also for later. The fth idea, that the blog might be an online archive of texts and notes, in order to preserve data for the distant future is not a bad idea, but a le no need be public and receives comments. If the intention is to preserve, to keep, he can type notes in Word and print it, put in an envelope and send it to a mailbox, or store in a safebox, in other words, you can save his writings and ideas anywhere you want, as a time capsule. But its still an interesting idea to see a blog as a time capsule. So, that prole will have my blog? It will be in part as a diary of my new ideas, in part as a draft to test ideas for my future personal page, which I promise that I will make the way I always dreamed, in part as a forum to discuss my ideas with people who I think have something to contribute and discuss, and in part as a book, in which I write provisory texts 12

for a truth book in the future, and nally as a time capsule, where I keep my ideas for posterity in form of bits. I know it has a strong tendency to want to be much less than this, but I also know that it can become something much more interesting than anything I have mentioned. It depends of me. For now it is suce. Im glad I have written so much!
1. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TPsShCvfWmI/AAAAAAAAAH0/dsJ233iA4xA/s1600/20040528-0153.jpg

1.1.4

General - what I mean by general ? (2004-05-28 06:55)

Message of the day: The Universe is made of stories, not of atoms Muriel Rukeyser Who is Muriel Rukeyser? I dont know yet, but I promise Ill nd a way to know who is. It is a matter of education. Anyway, we will talk more about the use of messages from famous people and the implications behind this costume. But what the mean of this general in the title of this post? Well, explain it is the reason for this post ... In previous posts, I considered the various modes that a blog can be used. I thought better about it and realized that I want to use my blog in at least four dierent ways. The rst way in which I intend to use this blog is to talk about general things that I think, but without any more organized aspect. It is the blog as a forum of generalities, or a column of a newspaper dedicated to amenities, comments, explanations like this, ultimately, the texts written in this way will be texts belonging to a section called General. Thus, this explains the general in the title of this post. The second way in which I intend to use this blog is like a memoir. Thats right, an online record of my memories from the time of the caves to today. Why? Because I think my life is unique in experiences, as well as all life is unique, but how much worth to have lived unique things if I dont share these experiences with anyone? And then, since I can use this blog as a time capsule, I will use it, because I want to be immortalized in the world of bits. I want that in a thousand years in the future people might know who was Rosenvaldo. Because otherwise, I will be forgotten, and the idea of being forgotten upsets me greatly. I think the fact that the death exist is a drug, but more sad is to die and be forgotten. If physical death is not enough, we run the risk of dying in memory of the time. So. I think this blog can and should be my time capsule. All right, you dont need to read anything that has relation with my memories. Who knows someday in the future a lightning burn Googles servers and no one has a copy of my memories in some HD Backup. Done, goodbye, Rosenvaldo... it will be my second death, my digital death, but thats all right, we do not need to worry about it for now... Peoples memories are vast. My memories will be subdivided - incredible as it sounds bureaucratic! - in Genealogy and homeland, and ve thematic memories. Then it will be better explained. This blog will also have a third section called Agenda 99. Why? What does it mean? 13

This section is intended to - and it also sounds very bureaucratic ... - aims to move to a digital and public environment things wish I have recorded in my paper agenda that I bought to use as a normal schedule in 1999, but started to use it as a notebook of ideas and a lot of things that I think deserve to go public to be discussed. Of course, as I go coping through the items on the paper agenda to the blog, one day I end up coping all of it, and then I will not have why to have this section. It will have only historical value, as well as the paper agenda. By the way, it, the paper agenda of 1999, is to be lled soon. A few days more and it will be completely packed with stu. So, I have a lot to do with it.

[1] But if it lls up, where I will write my new ideas? No, I will not buy a new 2005 agenda. Of course, Ill have to write down my ideas where I can put my hands more quickly, because ideas come to mind anywhere, anytime, and I can not aord to lose an idea, however odd it might be. Then I will write it down on some piece of dirty paper and then move on it to my famous and versatile White Board - in capital letters, because it henceforth becomes an important person to the world, and deserves to be treated with the respect it deserves - , to then after I copy the idea now clean to, thats right, this dear blog, but not anywhere. My new ideas from a certain point will go to this blog under the control of a section called Essays. Thats right, my ideas come to light as soon as they come out of the oven. I mean, as soon as they come out of my head, they will go rst to our friend White Board, then to a Word le, where they will be lapidated, and then they will come to this blog, to be submitted to the scrutiny of the universe, to become hardened and sharp as foils, or die, under the rubble of unsustainable arguments crumbled by lack of organized reasoning. Of course, each essay will be themed properly, because the ideas are many, and varied, and I will weave my mental cobwebs over a wide range of themes, from the simplest to the most profound, not always, obviously, with the same rmness and conviction. But no matter the strength of the arguments, they will come under the command of the section Essays. This is it, all explained, except the Message of the day, which comes to the fore, after the title, but before the text itself. Messages are beautiful. When it come in the beginning of a text, whether in a book or in a blog, it give a classic air to what comes next. Like those big letters in gothic style, called chaptulars, which appear in the rst word of every chapter in literary books. These letters, extremely ornate, are like a kind of breath that comes before anyone starts a long speech. The initial messages are it. They have the power to enchant anything where appear, since these are relevant to the subject. Ill try to be creative with my messages. 14

But make no mistake. Ill put my own posts, in the end, because I also feel that I can contribute with my modest ability and mastery. If the initial messages are the sigh at the beginning of a speech, my nal messages will be a sigh of relief, surprise or, who knows, of boredom. It does not matter. They will be the last breath of each post. Thats it. I try no escape the theme, and if possible, make by my way messages like those opening sentences of famous personalities. Anyway, they, my sentences, will always come at the end. Matter of modesty, and not that they are the last things to be said. No, they are not closing remarks. They are trial balloons. Maybe pleasing, maybe not. If they proliferate, as well, but if not, so they not proliferate. But if they proliferate, do not forget to quote this author, because I am also esh, bone, and ego. Ive never seen anything being mentioned about me by anyone before, and I think if one day I see a sentence in any place whatever, that has not been raised by myself, even in a dirty truck fender, I think Ill feel accomplished. I never received this award before, but before I never wrote any kind of sentence. So, how do expect to be awarded if I have no bet before? Now, I decided to bet ... My message of the day: The stories of our lives are our guarantee of eternity Rosenvaldo Simes de Souza
1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zux7y8ojoDk/T05ANqhYJTI/AAAAAAAAAJc/5RPEFDWDgbg/s1600/1.jpg

1.1.5

General: Space-time: now! (2004-05-29 07:17)

Message of the Day: Millions long for immortality but dont know what to do whith ours lifes on a rainy Sunday afternoon Susan Ertz Again: Who is Susan Ertz? I dont know. I simply read the phrase in an old copy of a Readers Digest magazine. But the phrase makes sense. Where am I now? Or, what my reference in space-time at the time I writing this text to this blog? The time is always the present time. My present moment now is a relatively cool dawn of 29 May 2004. In the measure that the present slides into the future and leave the past as a trail, this date will become increasingly older. My descendants living a thousand years from today are not even able to imagine how all which is commonplace today could have existed and occurred. But all existed and occurred. Further, all exists now while Im writing and is occurring in real time, while Im typing each letter of this text. Yes, time is indeed relative. And about the space? Where am I standing now, at this moment? What is my physical reference in the space? Im sitting in a comfortable black chair in front of my PC - a Pentium 266, something quite outdated for 2004, but which working still very ecient and reliable - with a headset, listening to a Frank Zappas CD. Im using an old dark green shirt, black shorts, a watch and glasses in the face. In describing these things in this way, it seems the description of the material goods left behind by Gandhi when he died, and that turned the world admired for his frugality and generosity. But it is not so simple. Im in my bedroom-oce, a room of my house I use to keep my computer and my books. 15

My house is located in a relatively poor district in Goinia, a city in Brazil. A set of combined new, but small houses, in a corner resulting from two narrow ugly streets, where dozens of children and adolescents play part of the day. One block down there is a group of houses in form as a small slum next to Meia Ponte River, the main river that runs through the city. It isnt a known neighborhood. In fact, it exists more as an appendix to larger and more structured neighborhoods, but because it is locate in a down part next to a river, it grew as a kind of marginalized area. I live in Villa Monticelli already since one year and a half ago. It is close to the Agricultural Park, the place where occurs the famous annual agricultural fair in Goinia, an event regarded by many people as the high point of the agricultural world in the State of Gois, Brazil, and even one of the largest event in the Midwest Region and in Brazil. But, forgotten, so next to the park, stays Villa Monticelli, where I live and shelter myself dayly. I have few friends at this stage of my life. Very few, for the sake of the truth. No more than ve. Maybe one or two. None of them live in the Village Monticelli. Around my home, I know a dozen people, including a couple owner of the small grocery store where I make small purchases along the day. I believe that, in community terms, I am an illustrious stranger. A kind of ghost, seen by some people in the neighborhood with a certain frequency, but unknown as a ghost. Im connected only physically with these people, I mean, we share the same neighborhood, but thats it all. My life spin around spheres others than the Community.

[1] And where is my mind? My body is on a chair, in a room full of books, in a simple house located on a corner of a overlooked neighborhood in a large city in Brazil, a large country on the Eastern side of Latin America, a continent, a large mass of rm land in the South region of the planet Earth, a planet that, well, in a thousand years ahead I hope they still knowing what is and where is located the Earth. This brief description is a bit like the life of some people who lived in a distant past, whose biographies tell us that lived their lives even more common than the live we think we usually get in our day everyday. Many great men have lived simple lives, without luxe, without friends, without fame and without glory. No one power, and a recognition that only consolidated sometimes centuries after they died, and a recognition that they could not even contemplate, or maybe even desire, nor enjoy. Humankind has this strange behavior: it is relatively blind to the present, and in a way, aspires to a great future, but do not know what to do, in fact even dont know see, its great men in their rainy Sunday afternoons. We do not know what the future will reveal. Which of us alive today will be remembered in ve thousand years?And for what reasons? We cant know beforehand, but one thing seems certain: no one will be remembered for what he didnt, or because, he can or ought to be done, failed to do so, regardless for no reason by the history books, however convincing and persuasive it sounds. It would be very curious to read in any history book the name of some 16

famous person who was famous for, may have been a great scientist and have invented the penicillin, not invented it because he could not have been a scientist, because his mother died when he was a young child and he had to adapt to the reality of his time being a humble farmer of lands, who died without having done nothing more that cultivate land. Even Jesus, being a humble carpenter, did not become famous in history for being a great carpenter. Maybe one day we can, by a ingenious and unimaginable way, to rescue the memories of people who have gone before and know what they thought during every second of their lives. In this case, it is possible that humble strangers who did not were in the history books henceforth could come to be in it, by virtue of what we will learn about what they thought, but this knowledge is still far from being possible. But this doesnt mean it is impossible. In this case, would be good that we took better care of what we think. Although we are not put on pedestals and worshiped in the distant future, we may be execrated as large evils and villains. But Im not talk serious about that possibility. The universe might be such that it will never allow it occurs, for good and for evil of our descendants, and our name. For good or evil of our own name, because this is all that is left of us, whether a lightning does not erase our latest information from a large database server in some department of government archives. So, we die for the third time... My message of the day: No one will be remembered for what he didnt Rosenvaldo Simes de Souza

1. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iJm5qM2OGRE/T05CjZ1WDzI/AAAAAAAAAJk/RFer5xrVHF8/s1600/2.jpg

1.1.6

General: Help me Im a rock! (2004-05-30 07:32)

Message of the day: Help me Im a rock Frank Zappa This is it: I decided to rename the blog from Metamorphose to Master Flow, because, after all, is more related to the kind of subject that Ive been writing. And Metamorphose has nothing related. It means nothing. I watched some movies in last weekend. The rst of all was in Telecine Channel, in Net, a cable TV. Mothman, or The Prophecy, in Brazil, with Richard Gere. Its a movie that deals with interesting things. Id watched the movie before, but, anyway, it made me perceive details which I had not perceived in others two previous times I had watched it. It deserves a full separate post. I promise that one day Ill talk more about this movie and its implications. Another movie I watched is The Day After Tomorrow. Very nice, with great eects, although with some inevitable cliches. Some comments are appropriated in respect to the military world, the political world and the scientic world. The military aspect of the movie made me see a second strategic role for the military paraphernalia of the world. The political aspect left in the mouth a taste of naivety come from the First World. The Mexico border would never be closed as occurs in the movie if an eventuality forced Americans course in mass to the South. Certainly things would be politically very dierent. And the scientic aspect, apart from the obvious issue of time taken in the process, suggest me a second chance for the climate model, 17

and could also generate a great movie in the future: imagine the weather does not cool o, but turned it up, until 60, 70 degrees Celcius in few weeks? How does a movie like this would unfold? It would certainly be quite fascinating to watch. But all these ideas deserve to be discussed and developed. Of course, I also dreamed with a fabulous group of helicopters rented for geological exploration companies. A show of aircraft design. Only a 3D software could shows what I saw while I slept. This is it. My message of the day: Without being updated, a blog is like an old newspaper we usually see on the counters of grocery stores, except that we can not wrap meat in it Rosenvaldo Simes de Souza

[1]
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1.2
1.2.1

June
General: all very simple... (2004-06-01 11:57)

Message of the day. Blessed is who invented the sleep! Cervantes Why something about sleep? Because Ive been very, very tired lately. Its all very simple: I need to install version 6 of Internet Explorer. Only then I can arrange this blog. Indenting texts, bolding, etc.. It is very ugly. And then, Im arranging also my books, my magazines, my CDs, my folders with documents, in short, Im starting to warm up the engine. 18

Now I know where is my money going: it has drained into the hands of owners newsstands, bookstores and CD stores. I think I spent more than the value of a car only with those baubles. Simply I am not able to enjoy everything I bought. It would take a decade to be able to enjoy everything. At least ten years to read everything, hear everything, play everything, install and use everything. I am a compulsive nerd, but thats okay. I go ahead. I need download Internet Explorer 6, while I hear Burnt Weeny Sandwich, by him, himself, the great Zappa!!!! My message of the day: If being dead is like being asleep without dreaming, then it should not be so bad Rosenvaldo Simes de Souza

[1]
1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGcc_tSy2AI/AAAAAAAAABE/zMsx3ZyMS3Y/s1600/20040530.jpg

1.2.2

General: The ills of technology (2004-06-03 12:00)

Message of the day: Our knowledge destroy us. Drunk us with the power it give us. The only salvation lies in the wisdom Will Durant Who is Will Durant? Ah! I know him. I have two fabulous books of this great American writer. A good idea is, instead of talking about the man, we just go to the ocial website made in his memory and in memory of his great work. Just go to [1]Will Durant and see who he was and what he wrote. Searching in Google, I typed Will Durant and found for pages only in Portuguese. The majority of founded pages bring his name linked to his quotations, phrases like this above I put in the message of the day, phrases extracted from his delightful books of Philosophy and History. Im rereading one of his most important books, The Mansions of Philosophy. 19

The sentence above comes immediately in the introduction, and it makes sense in this moment, because I have reason to fear the power of knowledge. Anyway, the time marches forward, always, and in the meantime, I upgraded my PC and installed Internet Explorer 6. Thereafter, I tried to give a better nishing in this blog, from the aesthetic point of view, but the possibilities are so great that, if I do not restrain myself to the above sentence, from the wise Will Durant, I would now be penetrated at sites about XML and related things, trying to catch up new ways to make beautiful pages, when in fact, my most important job, which is write the contents of this blog, is to be done for lack of time. I have been greatly disturbed in my sleep time. There are days that I sleep less, two, three hours a day at most, and there are days that I sleep too much, twelve, thirteen, fteen hours straight. This is simply unacceptable, so I decided to buy a book about the problem. Well see if things will improve. My brother is a father now, and I, a uncle. It is memorable. A new and powerful living being is added to our world. I hope he is everything that he might in goodness and greatness. I have thought about precognitive dreams. And I thought about politics, and airplanes. To tell the truth, this blog does not contain the whole set of things that I thought. Therefore, I will make my personal webpage, where I will can write freely. And this blog will be a kind of newspaper, where I will put links to my writings. I have much to write. I have a lot of things to think about and to do. I have to make time for everything, and I can not go through life asleep or yawning. More, I can not go through life decorating blogs, just because thats what everyone does. Im not a graphic designer or creator of sites. Im sure the UOL website think well about it before it create these templates for users, and if a blog is not made to be practical, it would not be useful. It, in fact, is practical, unless we decide change it visually every day. There is just a little problem with it: I would like to make backups of all my texts on my hard drive, and then it would be helpful if it had something like a process of exporting text from blog to my hard drive, as it has from the hard drive to blog. But okay, Ill live without it. What matters is the content. Lets go ahead. My message of the day: I do not know yet what exactly is wisdom. If I knew, I would be a wise man Rosenvaldo Simes de Souza

[2] 20

1. http://www.willdurant.com/ 2. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGcdMjH3b_I/AAAAAAAAABM/I5M-CO1x_dM/s1600/20040603-1209.jpg

1.2.3

General: A lot of things - part 1 (2004-06-07 05:51)

Message of the day:

Wisdom is the understanding of self and world. Neither can be ignored Miroslav Holub Who is Miroslav Holub? Again, I do not know who he is, but I know where I got the phrase: from a Readers Digest magazine. I think it is a good attempt to dene what is wisdom, though it is not a complete denition. But then it is asking too much. What Im doing? I am listening to Creed and Evanescence too much. How come I cant knew Evanescence before? As I said in my last post, Ive been thinking a lot about sleep and dreams. Im trying to put in order my sleep. It is dicult, but I am struggling. About precognitive dreams, I want to remind, as a memory, my dreams that I had about tornadoes, like those which devastate Los Angeles in the movie The Day After Tomorrow. It was very, very coincidental. I had seen lots of tornadoes rocking a big city in my dreams. Exactly like in the movie. Of course, my dream was crazier and cooler than the movie, but that is another story. Believe it! Another very strange dream was one I had about 25 years ago, about a very strange cemetery on a hill. I had a feeling of deja vu when I was in Joinville City (Santa Catarina State, Brazil) in early 2004. Who knows Joinville should knows that in this town has a cemetery on a hill inside the city. It is almost surreal. And I dreamed of something very, very similar to the Joinvilles cemetery when I was ve, six years old. I had never even heard about Joinville. At that time I lived in Tujuguaba village, in So Paulo State, and we had no TV at home yet. Another coincidence: talking to my brother, he informed me about our cousin, who had a recent heart attack and was not feeling well. I had spent all day thinking about this older cousin. I dreamed about him. In the dream, I hugged him lovingly, and my brother hugged him together. I found it a very strange dream, and could not understand the aection I felt for this my cousin, which we have never had, my brother and I, a great intimacy, because my cousin is older than us. Then everything gained an air of premonition with the news of his health. And my brother, who became father in those days, dreamed he was on the back of a friends motorcycle who he did not see from a long time, who lives in Limeira city, in So Paulo State. When my brothers son was born, a few days ago, for a fortuity reason he, the baby, came to be born in Limeira, and my brother, as another accident of fate, suddenly found himself really on the back of his friends motorcycle with whom he had dreamed some time before. My brother reported that mysterious sense of deja vu accompanying these strange coincidences. Premonitory dreams? Continued on next topic ... 21

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1.2.4

General: A lot of things - Part 2 (2004-06-07 13:32)

Continuing ... Changing the subject to the policy, I thought maybe the best thing that could arise from the merger of the Web with the Policy would be the end of the representative system. Thats right: each citizen votes for himself, without the gure of the professional politician, corrupt, false, treacherous and unreliable. That would be the glory of Democracy. The subject is long and deserves close attention. I have to report my passion for airplanes. In these cold months, the sky in the Midwest of Brazil is almost always clean as a crystal. And as the air of the upper atmosphere is always very cold, occasionally I can see the trail of condensation left by the passage of a airplane some very, very far away. Its just amazing. You see nothing, unless a little trail far, far away. How many kilometers is the plane where from I am? Fifty, a hundred miles? A show. But show even in the sky was passing over Goinia, Brazil, such a cloudy afternoon, a squadron of eight ghters of the Brazilian Air Force (FAB). A V-formation, with ve AMX inside two Mirage ghters. A third Mirage, several miles further back, laggard, accelerating almost to break the sound barrier in seeking to achieve the other. A Show! Passed and gone in seconds. I had a dream very crazy. I dreamed of a future world, a thousand, two thousand years ahead of our world today. Yes, but no obvious technologies. Moreover, in general, everything up very much like our world of 2004, except for some things, like, say, the candies and chewing gum, or the pens of the ocers of the parks, or even the way the kids controlled the ball in soccer. All very, very bizarre and crazy. And also dreamed with a U.S. thematic park. Yes, I dreamed of the Thematic Park on September 11. Believe it or not. I dreamed also with the deep abysm, and it was slippery. But we won, I and my rotweiller, Schubert, Good Dog! And besides, a milky African Marsh and his unnished palace. 22

But it was not all dreams these days. On Saturday night, the real life showed a little of his nightmare side. While my girlfriend and I were walking through the crowd of women at the famous Fair Moon of Goinia, someone very clever reached into her purse for my girlfriend and stole his wallet with everything. Documents, all, money, etc.. We record the occurrence in the police on duty, and wondering what it all means in the long term, lost hope in Brazil. To tell the truth, I never believed for one second that this litanyve been hearing since I was six years old, that Brazil is the countrys future. Brazil, now Im sure, was, is and will always be a failure. The last to leave it o the light. I sincerely hope that everything will be resolved through a civil war, a war that breaks out this huge mess in ve or six pieces, like Yugoslavia, and every ghetto is their turn to. Or that a plague, a megavrus, decimate a third of the population, for my good or my evil. One thing is certain: without a deep trauma, a social earthquake, this country is denitely doomed to follow Somalia and Eritrea. I think Ive exceeded a threshold considered irreversible. Speaking of social despair, lack in Brazil an ecient system of lost and found objects. I do not think this can be done by the government, but I think the industry does not arouse nancial interest in the private sector. But it is a social need, that is. And nally, I dreamed of my advertising cutlery. What is this? It is the fusion of two real ideas in the world of dreams. The idea of advertising cutlery is a marketing strategy that, according to my theory, can be a cool thing. But in the dream, the thing became more sophisticated, and became something very curious and crazy. advertising dishes ! My message of the day: I dreamed of the bounds of the abyss, and it was slippery. But we won... Rosenvaldo Simes de Souza

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1.2.5

General: nobody until now... (2004-06-10 06:44)

Message of the day: 23

For days, I asked myself what could be done, but at the end of each meditation, I saw clearly that I, unknown as I was, had not the slightest basis for any useful action.

Adolf Hitler

I need not ask who is Hitler. The above sentence, in context, explains the feeling I have on this blog. Hitler wrote the sentence above in his famous book Mein Kampf, or My Struggle. Thepassage above refers to the period when he, in Munich, decided to enter politics. So, I use this passage to illustrate that all beggining causes dismay, disbelief and a willingness to give up. Why keep writing this damn blog if no one, unless I, read, criticizes its or know of its existence? The Internet, with over 4 billion pages, has become the largest barn in the world. Nobody cares for anybody, and all we see are our electronic mailboxes crammed with spam, petty and desperate attempts to sell us Viagra, courses, solutions, mobile phones and megabytes to our ignored sites. Sooner, or later, there will be 100 billion pages in the world and every citizen of the planet will attempt to highlight this huge window using its various gig of photos, texts and broken links. All will be part of this immense global lottery, seeking his 15 minutes of virtual fame, a fame characterized by page views, hits per day, number of members, number of users or, perhaps, the number of dollars in sales. This battle is daunting and we do not have the slightest basis for any useful action, but to write more and more things about us, add more and more digital photos on our blogs. Each blog is a little straw in the great global haystack. Another product in a world of products. The web has democratized free enterprise, but no one can consume whatever is produced. The search engine Google is worth billions of dollars just to be able to say that if you want something on the web, that something exists. But its worth the mere existence? Web sites are extensions of ourselves. Mediocre people are also virtually mediocre. I have heard Carole King, The Doors, Hendrix, and now I hear Def Leppard, Animal, a classic. I love Def Leppard! But lets move on. I have read about lucid dreaming, and I see that is not easy to have them. And I sense a lot of hate, a dangerous hate. A social and political hate. I want to go into policy and try to change things, but at the same time I feel a huge discouragement. I think maybe I should move to another country, but at the same time think that its a defeat. I hate my job and I do not see a honorable way and peaceful solution to the problem, but I know that any attempt to move only makes me more mired in this swamp of shit in which I get into. Chance puts us in every situation. Or we are not the only responsible ones. I do not know. Just know that I would decapitate some people unhesitatingly in Brazil. Send into space with ten tons of explosives a group of buildings that I hate, in Brasilia, Brazil, with a few specially chosen people inside. I know how some old french revolutionaries felt, like some opposition politicians feel, like a lot of problems can be eliminated altogether, rather than solved. But the problems are there to be attacked, not eliminated. I do not have the slightest basis for any useful action front of a series of problems, but it is symptomatic as a fever. Something ahead.

Meanwhile, Im downloading dozens of wonderful wallpapers!

My message of the day:

Each blog is a big straw in a global haystack Rosenvaldo Simes de Souza 24

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1.2.6

General: In search of a new soul... (2004-06-17 07:22)

Message of the day: People do not change, they become more themselves Murphys Law applied to Psychology This is a Murphys Law that makes me think deeply, because it makes sense. At least for me, it does. I do not change. I become more myself. And if I change every day, I become more myself, a constant shifting. Even a metamorphosis is increasingly a metamorphosis, and a rock is a rock just because it does not change. This law is a disgraceful intriguing. Ive seen in my last days as it is dicult to abandon certain habits, and how it is very dicult to acquire others. I have a slight tendency for depression whenever I see a dead end, and an undesirable behavior, but unchanging, is a disappointing dead end. Exemplifying: Suppose I hate my job. If I do nothing, never leave my job, and it alone will never change so much that I will come to like this. So, I imagine, for example, I would rather quit my job and live abroad. For this to work, I have to start moving. Learning a new language, raise money, etc.., But in time to implement any of these small steps, it does not work. The days go by, I keep complaining about life and can not change a comma in my daily routine, in my way of acting, in my behavior, in my way of thinking. I am determined to get good at English. But its not easy. Not that English is dicult. The problem is me and my ingrained habits. I can not have two souls. I hate this situation, but I know that anger does not solve anything. But it is hopeless. I feel sleepy all day, no matter how much I sleep. I have a mild depression, but chronic. I have no energy. Thats it. Nothing arouses real enthusiasm as ten years ago. I must have a very large unresolved trauma. Ah, I got it! Meanwhile, Im living viscously, sleepily, with a weight in the bottom of the eye. One day, a few years ago, I decided to do a tomography of my brain and in fact, there is a region behind 25

my eyes that run a little slower than the rest. This region means slower depression. It is a vicious circle: the brain chemical causes psychological depression that refeeds brain chemistry and so for years. I think an electroshock could be an option not yet attempted. Or is it simply a question I get to play sports? Who knows is this: all about new habits. Simple, except for the fact that I hate sports. Another vicious circle. I slowly trying to change my life. Gradually, Im listening to all the twenty-ve Zappa CDs that I bought in a promotion a few years ago and until today have not heard anything. Incredible my lack of motivation: I love Zappa! I need an electroshock!! Urgent!! My message of the day: I do not change. I become more myself. Rosenvaldo Simes de Souza

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1.2.7

everything more simple (2004-06-19 09:32)

No more initial messages. No more create and then save and then copy, paste, etc.. Now, I type this blog directly here on blog, without frills, online. And I changed the name again, from Master Flow , a provisional name, to Ro.SS, which I think has more relation with me. Well, Im studying a lot the Front Page and I will put a new site in the air, a new project, another one mine, another one in global web, another one in the world. It may be that to work, but now I have a prole more polished. 26

I have no doubt that it will be a long and laborious process, but I have no other way: the answer is the Web, I have no doubt. I arrived late, I have a whole world competing with me, but go ahead. I trust in my shot. Yes, because it is on the web, whether on television, in politics, soccer elds and on the stage and trade, mediocrity is the rule. The garbage reigns. Ill try not to produce more ... Good luck to me. Its all a Grand Wazoo!

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1.2.8

I hate this blog (2004-06-23 09:49)

I hate ... I just hate this damn blog. No... I hate Universo Online ... Blame it on UOL... No. .. I hate all web designers, responsible for creating, conguring, and maintaining this blog. Dude, if you are responsible for this blog, if I put my hands on you, I butcher you! Im just angry!! I spend twenty minutes writing a text for this shit, I put my heart in this shit, I think beautiful words and everything, and when you click on this button crap save and publish, I lose everything. Go to hell! I have already entered the fucking password. Why should I lose everything just because its been ten minutes since I entered? Why chickenshit who created this blog will not let me write in peace? I lost everything: the story of the vicious circles, the story of the wonderful comments received, the story of my dogs and my cats, in other words, I lost everything. 27

But for the asshole of the UOL, which created it, no matter: the ten minutes passed, you must login again. Security. The world has a hacker on every corner nowadays. Paranoid asshole. And where is my lost texts? Fuck her hackers. I want my text back. For these and others that one day I will have to change provider. No, I will not leave the UOL. He is going to abandon me. One day, without warning, everything will be closed. The bankruptcy awaits them, incompetent! And will be fair! Go to hell...

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1.2.9

Strange nostalgia (2004-06-27 10:12)

First of all, I mean I think horrible writing this blog. The way we edited the text is weird. I do not like to have a xed time to save what I write or have a limit to my texts. In fact, if I only knew how many letters is the maximum size allowed, it would be a good thing, but do not know. This blog requires me to write fast, wrong and, worse, forces me to write so gross and ugly. This has to change. I do not want limits or deadlines. Otherwise, go ahead. Today I was at Anpolis, a city in Brazil where I lived for eight long and bitter years. I hate seeing the word Anpolis printed in any place whatever. I was there today. It was not so bad. I talked to a stranger woman who works at a company where I worked seven years ago, when it, the company, was still in its infancy. I felt a strange nostalgia for a time that I had any illusion, while it had no real hope. But fate is so interesting! Of my illusions, theres nothing left, and of the lack of real hope, a unexpectedly exit came out of that tomb in which I lived for ve years. A tomb of ve oors, cement and glass, in a forgotten corner at night, and full of amorphous and eeting faces during the day. Fate took me out of my Anpolis grave, and put me in another, where nowI live, in Goinia, Brazil. It makes little dierence. Simply I vegetate dierently. Im listening to Creed, but I was listening to Linkin Park, Hybrid Theory, a CD that I bought almost a year ago, and it was still with the protective plastic from the store. I never cared to hear it before. I just felt a 28

compulsion to buy it, the original, then I bought a version of it, pirate, and my friend stole it from me, still on the table from a bar, before I had time to hear it. I bought the pirate CD from a ambulant salesman who sold their crap from table to table, and went to the bathroom. When I returned, the CD was missing. My friend, who was half drunk, like CD and hid it, and I was pissed, cursed God and the world, and he, my friend, cursed together, but was quiet and kept the CD. Then I was at the mall and bought the original CD, I paid ve times more expensive in the store and put together with my other CDs too, next to my computer, and he stood there, unheard yet. No, it was the only one who I bought and still have not heard. Theres another Linkin Park, Meteora, this, yes, pirate, who has not yet been heard. But thats nothing.

I know that, in a sense, I am a compulsive buyer of certain things that please me. Not that I lose interest. It is something like: Im going to buy now when I can and when I want I will really use it. It is actually a sort of poor mans pulse. Something like a squirrel, which gathers acorns to eat in winter. Basically, I do not think I will have another opportunity. My fear is not to nd what I seek in the future, but do not have the money to buy what I want to come to. Not that I care about losing the product, because I know there will always be products to be purchased. Maybe in ten years I did not nd the CD of Linkin Park, but there are other good bands with their CDs for purchase. The issue is not that. What I do not want is to lose the opportunity to spend my money so enjoyable now that I have something good in the hand. Its like a poor man who has to sell lunch to buy dinner. I like this example. I have to take the chance to spend my money right now because I do not know if Ill have money tomorrow. This means an obvious psychological problems.

Its hard to say this, but I think I have a good relationship with money, but this is subject for another story. The truth at the moment is that I was right to leave Anpolis, I was right to leave the small company where I liked to work, and that was the only illusion that I had. The only ocial who left from the time I worked there is the boss today. He, this big shot, my friend, is a nice guy, and I know that he, or I, we would, sooner or later, one of the two, but not both at the same time, the head of this company, because we gave the blood for it. In the end, I was right: he got there.

On the other hand, now I earn double what he earns. Who won? But fuck it, who won, who lost. Perhaps the ght has not even started for us. One thing is certain: for the Mirages in Anpolis Air Force Base, the end arrived: an old unity of them, an old monster, pointy beak, gray and with delta wings, is now serving as a toilet for the pigeons in one of the main squares of the city . A sad end to one of those birds. And imagine that were the glory of the national aviation. To think that arrogant pilots felt like Top Guns when they climbed, playing war games and then descended from one of them! How much vanity!

Yes, I felt a strange nostalgia ... 29

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1.3
1.3.1

July
I know nobody reads this blog ... (2004-07-03 11:02)

... but nevertheless, I insist.

Ive been working hard. I have not done anything useful for me, except Im not spending a lot and my house is clean and the clothes, all washed and ironed, except a few. I slept a lot and taken medicine for dizziness, allergies, vitamins and ointment for bacteria. I tried to read, but I can not x anything. Anything.

I have taken a look at some things on the web. I probed Looking Glass from Sun, and today I lost a lot of time downloading wallpapers of planes and textures to work in design softwares. Ill work on my wallpapers. I have heard Zappa, and Dirty Sleep is good, so jazz.

Moreover, all is more or less okay, but Im working too hard. I stamp thousands of invoices, open boxes, count goods and take a bus to and fro. This accomplishes nothing, except that it makes me feel useful and productive. I think I may change my own reputation for myself, going to see me less as a vagabond and more like a serious man. Im almost 34 years and not know if Im still a man mature and responsible as I think men should be. I know Im lazy and I think everyone at my work thinks Im a Sao Paulos tramp. But what hurts most are my dark circles. If only it was like Benicio Del Toro, purple and at ...

Ah, my damn dark circles which denounce me as a bum ... 30

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1.3.2

Staying alive... (2004-07-10 11:45)

Still alive, dispite of all, and writing, and working as an asshole, fucking other peoples lives, and mine too, but all within the expected and planned. It is to be like this, anyway. Soon I will complete my 34 years. This is good and bad. Everything is a question of point of view. But I have not seen the good side of it. By the way, Ive been buying a few trinkets to present me, because buying is good for the ego, increases the amount of dopamine in the brain and keeps me happy, except for the damn new keyboard plug PS2 that I bought, which has no place to t. Otherwise, the wireless mouse is good and the expensive wireless phone, looks like, will be good too, if it come to work. I think everything is going well. All wireless ... My brother walked in fabulous mental trips. I was exchanging some ideas with him and decided to myself, with or without consent, but denitely without his knowledge, he, from this hour ago, will be my virtual partner, for whatever comes ahead. I need a parallel mind that my self mind ows better. Ive been buying cool books. One about estereophotography and other about emerging synergy. It was all very crazy. I think within a few weeks after I put the damn Money in order, I will be able to begin to put my hands in my crazy projects. And there are so many! Zappa keeps rolling: Im listening to you are waht you is... this cd is perfect. 31

This, if Im still alive ... meanwhile, stay everybody in stand by ...

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1.3.3

Happy birthday! (2004-07-12 12:11)

Congratulations to myself! I am currently completing my 34 years of life. I dont feel anything more nor less for this, because it is a Monday and soon Ill be stamping notes as usual, but thats okay, on Saturday and Sunday I could enjoy a bit of this my new year. I bought my electronic trinkets, my electronic scale, my wireless phone, etc.., and all are working, including this keyboard Im using now, with ergonomically and softly curved keys. And, of course, I ate my eighteen pieces of pizza in a buet that I was to not waste the opportunity. There was a little girl sitting at the table next to mine, and she should have eaten more than eighteen pieces, but thats okay, I gladly accepted my defeat by this girl. Its a new year. In hindsight, I think a birthday and pass a reveilon are things very similar, because it mean a change of date. Of course it are articial timeframes that are more sentimental and marketing goals which properly utilities. But these dates may be signicant in terms that, if we are really conscious of them, we can make a kind of balance, and propose changes, etc.., but I already do this all the time. One thing is certain: 34 years is no small thing. This blog is still going strong. I thought that a homepage is a good thing, but until I dont do a better job, go ahead with this blog. My question is: how to pronounce blog? On the one hand, I see the populace, including the TV, just pronouce something like blog, as one who pronounces block, but I prefer to pronounce something more americanized, something like beelog, or b-log, 32

where the letter b means something that does not know, but the log is simply a log, a record as many others who have in our hds, made by anti-virus programs, by Windows, etc.. and that is obtained before the log, whatever that means, perhaps business, maybe something else, but it should be pronounced as a English letter b, or bee. Therefore, it is not blog (like block), but b-log (like beelog).

But this question is not really a question. There are other questions. I took my handheld, a sort of manual agenda, but with almost the power of a PC 386, a gadget I bought, but I used only a few times, to re-use it. And by chance I saw there were reminders that I noted a few months ago and even not remember anymore. I read and saw that they were things I had noted to be made one day, and really deserve to be made . That is the question: if I want to do all the things I like to do ... You know what? Ill save this blog ...

Being saved this blog, go ahead. I think that b on blog mean bersonal... personal ...

Funny like writing is dierent than speaking and acting. I know Im a dull and I do not know if it would be a good actor, and I do not know if it would be a good speaker, or jokester, but I like to write, and writing, I can write funny things with ease. The humor by words is possible. But not all are like that. A famous guy for his humor, Steve Martin, can be funny on tv, acting, can be a good joke-teller, as in the Oscar ceremonies, but writing he is a shame. I read an excerpt from an article from him long ago, but I was disappointed. Whats more, there are national jerks who write books and publish in the newspaper strips, such as Millor, and others, who are guys personally without any grace. It is curious how humor can ow in dierent ways by dierent media.

but now we need to stop talking about it. This blog is left to the ies. Where is the UOL moderator to put a link to this bi-log on the main page of UOL? I need to get some page views like a gift in this my birthday! Come on, moderator, be a fellow guy and do this favor for this birthday boy and good paying customer here, which contemplate you with seven years of canine delity in a world where pop up free portal servers. Wheres my gift once in a lifetime? Sure, I received an email sent by some articial software that seeks birth dates on databases of UOL customers and sends a few friendly words, but this was only it. Even the Submarino site also sent me another, and how good they are in business, know that a birthday client usually has a kind of ...

First, I need to save this blog again ... after, I speak about compulsion ... Continuing, they, from Submarino, know that birthday clients have a compulsion to indulge themselves in the days of their birthdays and buing things more impulsively, then, slyly, cleverly, unkindly, roughly, to summarize, they, from Submarino, sent me an email of congratulations and invite me through a link, to go shopping on that date so beautiful. Speaking about these questions, UOL is a word in Portuguese language that requires an a or an o before, to identify the genre? UOLs, UOL website, the provider, the portal, or UOL is the page, the lth, the Leaf? This also does not deserve the importance ... I tried, but I failed. This message exceeded the character limit allowed by UOL. So, this text follows in a another next message... Oh, how it is hateful ... 33

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1.3.4

What forbids me... (2004-07-14 05:31)

What forbids me to do what I need to do? Be careful only to youself and nobody else. We bring our worst enemies inside us. Charles Spurgeon. I do not know who he is, but I know who was Frank Sinatra, Im hearing now, a wonderful duet with a woman also surnamed Sinatra. Nancy Sinatra is her name. Does your wife? His daughter? I do not know, but the duet is wonderful. As Frank was lucky to have a voice so beautiful and is so charismatic. He died in his ninety-eight years with an Amish beard worthy of Abraham Lincoln. Great, this Frank Sinatra! But back to Spurgeon, who I do not know who is or was, but he makes a forceful warning against our internal weaknesses. But this is not new. The famous watch and pray without ceasing Biblical is nothing more than a warning to be vigilant with ourselves and our thoughts, and not only that: we need a helping for us to succeed. She, the Bible does not say just to watch, but asks that we pray to God. I mean, watching is not enough. In fact, we are volatile as leaves in the wind. Walking through a crowd around a bus stop, in a urban bus station, I could see how everyone is able to focus on their daily problems. They embark at all costs. They squeeze themselves like sardines, because they have to move on with their lives. They have to get to the job, or at school or at home, at all costs, and nothing thwarts it. They can not lose precious minutes waiting for a bus less crowded. They are stubborn. Where is the volatility in this? Its they are obstinate for the wrong goals. Easy targets are almost always wrong targets. Right targets, yes, are dicult and require patience and strength. So, the mob on the buses are not concentrated? No. Theyre just moving on. And my goals? Are they dicult? Require much concentration and willpower? 34

And Sinatra? He sang so naturally ... where was there stress in your life? It appears he to have lived as a feather, singing, dancing and making love for decades, as anyone ... Really? Am I mistaken, or he faced the addiction of drinking? I do not know, but other lives always seems easier. I also wanted mine could look easy ... Indeed, it seems ... But is not. This does not mean Im not struggling to make it really light and beautiful like a Sinatra live. No, I will not become a singer, though not a bad idea. Fate no rewarded me with a beautiful voice like Frank. But Ill go ahead anyway. Im going, as he says, making my way, and, who knows, when I have my ninety-eight years, I can say, like him, I made my way, or I did my way .. . I know it will not be easy, but Ill make it look like it was ... Yes, it is my way...

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1.3.5

Them or us (2004-07-18 06:12)

Or better: Them or us. This Frank Zappa cd is just great. Before I thought the You are what you is be the craziest, but this Them or us, from 1984, is pretty cool. It has some great songs. For example: the rst, The Closer You Are, is a 50s beebop, perfect. The second, In France, is a joke. The singer is kind of stuttering, it seems that I can see his face, his teeth forward. The third, Ya Hozna is very, very bizarre. The sound is heavy, a very good guitar, but the voice is from another 35

world. A macabre set of voices singing something in reverse rotation. A storm from hell. And, of course, the seventh, Stevies spanking, where Stevie Vai (pronounced ai like i) simply explodes on guitar. But not only: it has a great Frogs with dirty little lips and all the other nine, a total of fteen great songs. I recommend! Ive been putting Money in order. I know Im capable to do dicult things, but this is only a proof of my potential. Im really good, when I decide to be. I will get everything I want, because I know how to control myself. I did not sleep this night, and Im writing when I should be sleeping. Im hungry and have a headache, but its obvious! Im pushing it. Im reading Finite and Innite Games. Is life really a game? Who knows? But I can not read much this book. Money takes all the time. I bought a rubber dumbbell with a garish orange color, and with a Beep-Beep inside, to BJ, my dog, my black german shepherd. He becomes crazy with the toy. BJ is a good dog. Black dog ... Its it. I bought a soul music hits cd, very cheap, and other with hits of Ella Fitzgerald, and other with sounds of rain, everyone here at Extra Supermarket, in Goinia, Brazil. But after I comment on what I thought about them. Now I go to sleep, listening to my digital rain ....

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1.3.6

Orkut and conceptual horizons (2004-07-23 06:54)

At last, I got, through a trick, make the top of the screen where you type text for our blog appear ... it was missing, and I can imagine that is only one more bug from UOL programmers, always failing. But okay, here I am ... Ive just been invited to join Orkut, Googles friends group. I made my prole there and wanna see what happens. Nothing much, just the reputation of being something quite ripe for web standards. I invited my brother and see if we join the gang of our childhood and adolescence only in one place. I feel it hard, but we 36

will try. I still think there is nothing more practical and ecient than traditional e-mail, but even so, Ill try the Orkut. Fernando, from Fernando Homepage, which sends me jokes every day via email, who invited me. He is a nice guy. Thanks, Fernando! And also I keep entertained with Money. Finance is not easy and this work will consume many hours of my sweat.

Ive been taking a look at a possible upgrade of my computer which I write. I have a lowly, but faithful, Pentium 266 (believe!!) that works truly. It no owes nothing to any more modern machine, except for games that are heavy to run, and the damn XP, but this I do not use. Indeed, neither games I play, then it do not make any dierence to me. My old Pentium has about eight, ten years of use, but it dont lets me in bad situation, except in some extreme moments. But I have to think about upgrading my technological apparatus, because now its cheap. Lets see, maybe I buy something out there. I nally read Finite and innite games by James P. Carse, and found it was a self-help book, but it is not. It is philosophy, and very hermetic. This book have his twin brother, or anti-brother, Respect your limits, by Ricardo Peters. These books are about a philosophy impregnated with religion. They are writers, theologians, philosophers or theologians, or something. But it is not easy reading, and Carse style is repetitive and unclear. It leads to anything, except the concept of horizon. In fact, what the limits of a horizon? He is versatile and changes according to our point of view. In this case, the visual horizon is used as a metaphor for what should be our intellectual or philosophical horizon: open, changeable, without limits. Therefore, Peters book, which obliges us to respect our limits, is a kind of counterpart of Carses book. But I can not further comment on the subject, because I need to read some contemporary philosophers, which I did not do yet. there is a hermeticism in twentieth-century philosophy that reeks of Hegel, which I detest, which was detested by the sage Schopenhauer, and that even at the time they both lived in the same country. Heidegger, Witgeinstein, Sartre, these guys seem to still somewhat confused in their philosophies. Sartres not much, but Heidegger, yes. Maybe a few more books later and I can better understand this Finite and innite games. For now, the lesson that remained is conceptual horizon. But its something.

I bought a Natalie Coles cd, Unforgettable, and it is not a big thing, except for two or three songs. Unforgettable is the best, no doubt more by Nat King Cole to Natalie. She has a voice no strong enough, but its cute, and everything is ok. Why do I feel a shiver when I hear the Wagners overture The Master Singers? Why classical music is so good, so much better than everything else? I think the only thing that compares in impact to a drum in an orchestra are guitars from Metallica and Slayer and Sepultura. Any other music owes a lot of power and strength. Jazz is a luxury, but its only it.

I go to sleep. Its cold, and this is rare in Goiania, Brazil. I have to enjoy and drink a lot of chamomile tea and others avours I bought last year, hoping the cold that never came. Extremes aside, my teas are not so old, but they are not eternal. They need to be drunk while they may have the ability to produce some avor, else certainly I will have only a cup of hot water that tastes like dry grass. Not bad, but it is not enough. As Carse, or, saying good-bye in Carse style : I will not sleep, I will wake up to my dreams ... 37

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1.3.7

Terrorism and the digital void (2004-07-26 09:33)

Im disappointed with UOL. I lost one text again because some Tyrannosaurus, a pigs spirit, a miserable bastard stuck daring to be a webmaster decide that we can not write our blog as long as we want ... the text is born, growing, getting cool, and then a unwanted asshole message warns us that our time ran out and then we lost it all, and a damn password is requested I do not know why the hell stupid necessity that someone has to trouble our lives. Alright. Lets try again. Im not going to close my account on UOL today. It will not be necessary: some more days, or later, comes a Venezuelan or Mexican tycoon and buys UOL and put these incompetent webmasters on the street. And then the thing will be really good.

Ill try to write my text again ... 38

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1.3.8

Stillborn (2004-07-26 10:19)

The text was a stillbirth. I was talking about nice things, but I lost everything. This is what might be called virtual legitimately terrorism: Al Qaeda does not need hacking, he simply needs to learn from the sta of the UOL to do real shit. Ah!, this trashy vagabund site... Digital void: second try... Here we go: I said that the Internet has suered from a lack of creativity from its users, because Ive been doing some research with Google and was attended with a dozen pages about Charles Spurgeon, I did not know who he is or was. I had read a sentence in the rst chapter of his book The University of Success by Og Mandino, but I did not know who was Spurgeon. The research showed me that he was a famous British preacher who lived in the nineteenth century. The problem is that there were dozens of pages with the same text. Just one copy of each other. Someone once said that after Microsoft Windows, nothing is created, everything is copy and paste. I think thats true, and even more on the Internet. I tried also something about James P. Carse, and I was surprised at how many phrases that people use, often out of context, or even in a context totally wrong. I thought it was a brazilian vicious, because brazilian people are lazy, but the pages in English are also repeated to innity. This business, use phrases from famous authors, is relatively dangerous. I think the Internet could be better exploited, and that people should think about and discuss the canned ideas with many authors present us. I say this because if we take any two books, Im sure youll nd them absolutely contradictory guidelines. Even in the text of only one book, of only one author, there are terrible contradictions. Follow any orientation without doing a little meditation on its meaning can be dangerous. The greatest danger is that we do not perceive the contradiction at rst glance, and even after much rereading. The contradiction is subtle, therefore dangerous. 39

Where are the critical readers of the globalized world? Nobody ever contests Og Mandino. Where can I nd a text about a Mandino lucid text written by someone who read it, thought about it and realized that what was written was not quite the right thing to do? Okay, viewpoints are viewpoints, but it is very important to have dierent viewpoints and not just simple phrases and simple sentences extracted from books by authors who maybe we do not know who they are. Just a curiosity, I found that Mandino was an alcoholic, became a millionaire and died in 1996, and that Csar Romo, Brazilian writer, is almost a disciple of his. I never read Romo, but nevertheless I was not tempted to read him. But whereas were talking about reading, and to criticize, I suggest you to read Irving M. Copi and his delightful and instructive (and thick) book Introduction to Logic. I guarantee that after reading it, you will have a new vision of what youve been reading around, and also guarantee you will have a new idea of Sherlock Holmes. You do not swallow more phrases without rst giving a thought about it. If you want to read Copi, be brave and try to solve the exercises he proposed . Your mind will blow (and will be sharp!)... Meanwhile, I keep doing my research in this digital void, wich Internet gives us. Okay, it could be worse. This text, my friend, was dierent in words, but have the same content. The former text was better written, more beautiful and poetic, but time ran out and I lost it. If this second text was not so good, you thank UOL webmaster, a genius who created the time limit that force us write running... Ah!, how much desire to see this portal in Mexican hands, a man that will do a good job, or a Spanish businessman. UOL has passed: it grown, matured, but did not work. Like a fruit, I think it will die rotting in the dead branch in which clings to stay... a pity...

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1.3.9

Opera, Francis Crick and futility of existence (2004-07-30 11:23)

I hope I do not miss anything this time... Im listening to opera: Wagner, Puccini and Mascagni. Ive heard this cd almost a million times. It was the rst cd I bought in life. Sure, I liked classical music before, but there were no cds, and I listened to LPs. So once I bought my stereo with a cd reader, I bought this The Best of Opera, a collection that gradually I learned to love it. Do not know music more powerful and brighter than the overture of The Master Singers of Nuremberg, by Wagner. It is absolutely perfect. And has many other beautiful pieces in this album. Excuse me, but who does not know classical music, does not know the true beauty in form of sound. It is a kind of person who has not experienced in musical terms the best that humanity can oer. But there are more: Francis Crick died, one of two fathers that discovered the DNA molecule. Who does not know a little about science does not give a damn about it, but for many people his dead is a great loss. Crick is one more of the great men of twentieth century. He was great not only in genetics, where he worked little. He was particularly great in areas such as neurology, where he sought to understand the human brain, a long research career. Thinking about Wagner, Crick, operas and books, and works and researchs, about time and memory, I wonder about the futility of life. For billions of people on this damn planet, for the most part, Wagner and Crick did not mean anything. Wagner had spent months composing each note carefully, grinding his work, researching his mythological theme, and all that could be a composer, he left a legacy that can only be enjoyed in a small portion of a small human group. All admit that he was great, that Wagner was a monster of the nineteenth century, but nobody knows anything about his work. Nobody heard anything about him. And if someone heard, turned the nose up. And about Crick, nobody knows, and all his work, the result of thousands of hours of reading, research, thoughtfulness, wit and intelligence, distilled in the form of books and articles, are relegated to a handful of privileged peolple who have the chance to meet a small part of what a great man thought, a lind of man which there is not one in a hundred million. Brazil, with its mass of humanity, I feel privileged. I feel a healthy jealousy to be like the greats. That a century from now someone might say: humanity does not know the works of Rosenvaldo, but those who know are privileged because they have the best that humanity can produce about that topic. I wanted to be the reason for this privilege. Just do not know how ... But wait a time...

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1.4
1.4.1

August
Envying Bill Gates and Bertrand Russell (2004-08-01 11:47)

Im reading The Conquest of Happiness by Bertrand Russell. A delightful book, written in the 30s of last century, but amazingly refreshed. Were set at that time, at least in the United States, the foundations for the current century XXI, of Bill Gates. What Bill Gates has related with it? Well, there is a chapter in the Russells book in which he comments about the envy we feel we can not have what others have. I have a couple of feet, but the neighbor has a pair of s and a pair of shoes. And other has legs, shoes and a car, used to neither to spend your shoes nor to do not tire your feet. And another has a private jet, to no waste time traveling by car. And also, at the end of the line, he, himself, Bill Gates, that if is not the most envied man in the world, is one of the most. To be precise, is not the man who is envied for what it is, but his fortune which is coveted by size it is, even though, according to the very billionaires say, nothing you can buy in the world today with a fortune of a billion dollars can not be bought by one who is only ten million. In short, very rich people admit that no need so much money to have almost everything that money can buy, except some irrational extravagances. So why would we want so much money? And why so much envy and greed? I, for my part, realized a long time, and Russell had the same opinion forty years before I was born, that the best that money can buy is time and security: just that I had enough to not need more work and live in relative safety, and it would by enough. Why? According to my calculations, a citizen with two or three million dollars can live happily forever... if so, why would we want more? Segundo meus clculos, um cidado com dois ou trs milhes de reais pode viver feliz para sempre... se assim, por que queremos mais? The problem is that we do not have these two or three million, or shadow of it. If we had a tenth of that value, here in Brazil, we would be lucky people. So the problem is not the jealousy, but the misery. It reminds me of a story I read in in a old Readers Digest magazine many years ago, when I was a child, and that has aected the way I see the nancial world and life. I should was twelve, thirteen years old, not more. And the magazine was old, very old, from the fties. A cousin of my mother, well o, had in his basement a cardboard box the size of a refrigerator completely full of old Readers Digest magazines, probably from the forties to the most recent time, in the early eighty. He left me to play comfortable with it all, and in them I read an article with a strange name: Have you seen arusty clip? It was a text that said that probably we never saw rusty paper clips because they have a so derisive value that are discarded before to rust even by time and use. This text told me something today lost its importance, it is the habit of using in fact what we have. The text tell about a pair of leather sandals that the owner used comfortably for decades, although occasionally a band unstick and he became to repair it. Nothing during that time was done that these leather sandals loses its real utility, and beyond that, beyond its usefulness, there was no reason to replacing it, exchange it, throw it out the other younger. Nothing that new could oer the old no longer oered. Finally, the text has taught me that we should use things, rather than just have them by the desire to have them. Many years later, I discovered I assimilated that text so deeply. I have personal items that simply are with me, in use, for decades. A pair of glasses that I bought ten years ago, was only now retired, a few days. My contact lens is almost six years! My PC is a Pentium II 266! And I have no car ... in a city like Goinia, where there is a car for every two inhabitants, I am a rare case. Simply I live without cars. 42

After, I came to conrm this way of life when I read that there are two objectives to be achieved in life: rst, to get what you want, and then enjoy what you got. Only the wisest conduct the second a thought by Logan Pearshall Smith, who I do not know he is, but whose sentence is in the University of Success, by him, himself, Og Mandino. I know that quote phrases is easy, but I see it as a challenge rather dicult to be achieved. I think we live in a world of excess in every way. All excuses to consume wantonly are just it: excuses. I do not believe in asceticism, in detachment, in the abandonment of our lifestyle, but I think mindless consumerism is a bullshit. We should only consume once we reect on the very real need to realize that consumption. We should only buy more clips after our old clips were too rusty to be useful. Speaking about consumption and even about recycling, and about old and good things, Im listening to Music of the Gothic Era from Deutsche Gramophon collection, one that appeared in magazines a few years ago. Yes, I bought a hundred fascicles, patiently. I knew I had something to be consumed for the next hundred years. I do not regret it.

Studying classical music involves studying its real history. You take an ordinary book on the history of music and see that before Eminem and Skank (a terrible brazilian band) came many good composers. Most better than Eminem and Skank. In this historical context, the collection of the Deutsche oers, rst, in chronological order, a CD of Gregorian chants. The Gregorian chants came before the gothic music. And before Gregorian chants there was music, but there is nothing in the collection period prior to the Gregorian chants. Maybe a CD with Greek music is a good way to complete this pre-Gregorian, but there is nothing from Greeks in the Deutsche collection. Moreover, Deutsche, for market issues, have not released the the fascicles in a historical-chronological order, so that if we are listening to CDs in the order they were released, we ran without a comparative reference between the various styles of the time and the various composers, and works of these composers do not know what it was composed at the beginning or end of their careers, which is not very good in terms of learning and appreciation of works of art. The correct, in my opinion, is always to study what we hear. So, a book of history of music and an Internet search on the works of a particular composer are fundamental things to do if we want to appreciate classical music.

Yes, gothic music, with ve hundred years old or more, are good to hear. Very good. Pairs and trios of voices that make the mind y to the realms of Peter Pan, castles and forests, innocence and purity. Art is it: a millennium does not make it worse or better than modern art, just dierent. And if it is good art, is still worthy of being consumed. Bertrand Russell, a great philosopher, logician, mathematician and writer, is also still worth reading. He, who, wise, learned to live up to its 98 years old. Someone who lives so long and teaches how its can be done can not be overstated. And to think that a Gothic music cd costs a few dollars and a book by Russell, no more than a cd, and I feel privileged again, and doubly: rst, to be able to dispose of the necessary money to by to myself these wonders of art, and second, and more importantly, by being able to enjoy the pleasures of art, and feel happy to do it, though I do not have a billion dollars.

I doubt that someone with just money and nothing else is able to make this money turn into pleasure and satisfaction the way I make with mine . Now, I envy Bill Gates less. 43

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1.4.2

Communities (2004-08-07 06:42)

I keep me busy with Orkut. I know I could be part of a lot of friendship groups and sites and newsgroups on the issues Ive been looking for, but in Orkut this thing is easier. We have to admit, he is a well organized site. Ive been looking for ideas to build my new personal page, and Im looking for ideas to develop my war game. And Ive been racking my brains to adjust my accounts in Money, and Im willing to buy my rst car! Ah, now it go! I have been also reading about money. Nothing too deep. And Im continuing the registration of my books. Already 78 of them are registered! But I have more than four hundred! And I have eaten lots of vegetables and fruit. I have to maintain weight. And speaking about to be t, I signed up a group of nerdy friends. I know that I should be a nerd. They speak my language and I speak to them. Sure, Im too old for certain activities that adolescents nerds engage, and I do not have more passion for collecting things, and Im not see a thousand times the same movies and series , but generally, I am a real nerd. And Im glad Ive been psychologically well balanced since I decided to take seriously my things that need to be taken seriously. But I have some doubts. First: what do I do that has value to the world? Second: where I actually want to get? Speaking this way, I look like Stephen Covey! 44

One thing is certain: the nerds will rule the world!

1.4.3

I, Robot (2004-08-08 07:16)

I just watched the movie I, Robot. Movies about scientic ction are special cases. Moreover, cinema is a case apart, I think. It is paradoxical that a science ction movie can make a real fact seems to be ction, and thus, make that ction resembles fact. Ill try to explain. When watching a science ction movie, I see four interesting things: First: that the creators of science ction movies really can make the future look incredibly dierent and wonderful, at least at the time the movie is playing. Of course, when it is released, the movie with futuristic scenes is what best portrays the future for your exact present. After a few years, if we watch the same movie, we will probably see that the future he promised did not materialize, or that promise was absurd, or ridiculous, or too advanced, but at launch, they actually manage to capture our best expectations about the future. Second: that although they concern the future, that future, however far in the time that is, it is still too close to that we will see it materialized into reality. There are scenes in movies that take place in 2020 and we think that they actually become fact in 2020, then a wonderful future awaits us, but in real life things are much slower. Movies that show things in 2020 show us, in fact, things that will occur only in 2200. We always get a slight feeling that, over the years, the movie promised good things too much, too soon, to be possible, and we feel a certain frustration. But we can only see it after a long time the lm was released. Third, the cinema industry, by itself, was never considered as part of a possible future. We do not do ction about the movie industry, and therefore do not feed expectations about its future, but this future came: fty years ago nobody could imagine the advances that the graphics computer and special eects would be achieved. Watching a fabulous ction movie is also attend to this present. After all, the movie was made just now, and it is real. It was possible to do it! Behold the future becomes the present! And nally, fourth: we do not even realize it, that the future has arrived, at least in certain areas. We do not have a lot of men in space, but we have the Internet, computers, e-mail, cell phones, the special eects in theaters, and not even realize it. And we have popular cars! And why do not we realize this? I think because we are mired up to our necks in all this thing we call technological development. To be frank, we are undergoing the biggest revolution that humanity, the planet, the cosmos has ever seen, and even have awareness of the scale of this revolution. The size of the thing is fantastic, and Will Smith is just part of the process Where does it end?

1.4.4

Questions that do not want to shut up (2004-08-13 09:56)

I wonder: 45

After all, what is the purpose of a blog? What are people willing to take a blog seriously? What is the time required per day to make a default blog a custom, cool and attractive blog? And then, if it is much visited, what to do with the thousands of e-mails of praise, congratulations and criticisms? What aspires a blogger? Is the only purpose of a blog the ghting for fteen minutes of fame and then a count of page views great and sad? What have we really important to add to the world, and in particular to the Internet? Its worth the eort to spend hours every day browsing for new pictures to the blog, new ideas for the blog, new contacts for the blog, new disclosure about the news of the blog, new animated gifs again and more and more disclosure? Can someone in good conscience really believe that a blog be a source of fame and money? Why to think that someone who has to manage his own blog, and everyone have your on the Internet, may be interested in reading other peoples blog, your direct and immediate competitors? Who may be curious to know what goes on in my life, except those who know me personally and also know everything that is on my blog, because they live here beside me, watching things happen in real time ? A blog generates more questions than answers. Alright! Whats matter is experience. I think ten years from now we will remember blogs as things did not work, like cars that could y, or as small dinosaurs, fossils, which have evolved to better and more ecient forms of virtual communication. I hope that blogs evolve, because the way they are today, seem to me something without identity, without purpose, without personality. And a photolog, then? Where does it end?

1.4.5

Jim Carrey - Eternal Sunshine (2004-08-14 10:36)

I watched the new movie with Jim Carrey. I must admit he has a charisma that makes any movie shine, even if the theme itself is not the most inspired. I do not know if this is the case. The idea turns around a possible technique to erase our undesirable memories. Well, suppose that one day it becomes a reality and we have a girl tired of girlfriends face looking for a clinic and asking them to forget it, literally. The consequences are not so dicult to imagine. From it I take three conclusions: First: movies are currently making some sort of subliminal brainwashing, something that, without paranoia, would make a good theme for a movie about the fourth power and the media in general. Each lm that suggests a plausible future reality is, even if unintentionally, preparing his audience for a situation when 46

ction one day will become reality. A movie like Signs makes that if a few years we contact aliens it does not seem so absurd. And not just Signs. Contact, Aliens, Enigma of Another World, and even not Independence Day and Men in Black do this: prepare humanity for the day of real contact. And they make that amazing discovery, such as spacecraft do almost daily in the sky, pass undetected because no dazzling from the movies point of view. A computer like Hall 2000, from 2001: A Space Odyssey, makes our modern Pentium seem old valve radios, while even Bruce Willis in The Siege has not been able to prepare us for a September 11. But in general, the movies atten the ground, leave the work more manageable. In the eld of medical advances, a highlight is Vanilla Sky, trying to prepare ourselves for the day of our immortality. And Tom Cruise tries again to prepare for the day that dominate the extra-sensory powers, in Minority Report. This, with Jim Carrey, try doing the same, though very quietly, very subliminally. My second conclusion: that if one day we have available a feature like that, it would actually no use more than a cardiac debrillator or a medical ultrasound monitor screen. I do not know if normal people would want to forget something, even undesirable. Sure, there are traumas that must be forgotten, but whats the point you forget a bad relationship, a bad boss, a bad day? I think really, we are our memories, and not without reason that a blow to the head that makes one forget all that life is lived is a bizarre event considered of a medical point of view, and thus this citizen does not has a personality, from the social point of view. He has a past, it is true, but only in the others minds. He, from himself, is a no one: a simple blank slate. We are what we are exactly because we are the sum of our good and bad memories. Who would not be surprised when you hear an old song, reread an old book, watching an old movie, meet a face long forgotten, travels back to the places long forgotten, rereads a yellowed forgotten letter in a drawer somewhere? Even a bad memory that will be remembered in these cases is still welcome. So... I make my third conclusion: that our problem is not a forgetfulness machine. This we already have: the time. Just wait and all will be forgotten sooner or later. Our problem is the opposite. We need a machine to remember. We need to dig deep into our minds and nd out, put saved forever all what a day we live, even if when we put saved on a sheet of paper, in a journal, in a speech with our grandchildren and even in our blogs, why not? Imagine the day when we have a remembrance machine. Sit back, pay your session and have good memories! And save them on video! Show the world what you really lived! When this day will come?

1.4.6

Ecological Thought (2004-08-19 12:43)

In the rst text posted on this blog, I mentioned an agenda that I have used since 1999. It is a paper agenda, plain, with a picture of small shes printed in a hardcover common leaves tied in a spiral of wire. I bought it to write foolishness. Its called Ecoagenda 1999. Well, early, at the beginning, on the rst pages, there is a space to write down or we plan our ecological attitudes in 1999. Once I started using this agenda, I noted ve items, ve future attitudes, ve small projects designed so immediately. Nothing too elaborate. Just simple things that any mortal can do without much eort. After almost six years, I look at the short list and come to several conclusions rather curious. However, the rst conclusion I reach reading the short list of ve promises is that of the ve attitudes that planned to adopt in 1999, I really ended up coming to adopt over that time virtually all of them. If not all 47

are being used in its most perfect form, at least in part they are. These small actions taken mean that people change, albeit slowly and unevenly, over the years. Ive changed! My rst item on the list was stop smoking. And I stopped it, ve years ago. I know that there is little relationship between ecology and smoking, but the fact is that I concretized what I set out to accomplish. Have changed provokes a sense of hope in the future, since our present today in part is better than our past, in what we had for him undesirable. If in the past we change for the better, we can continue changing and hope a little better future than today in what we actually do not want. But not only. I came to interesting conclusions about the process of ecological awareness, or ecological marketing, as well as irreversibly the ecological mentality has penetrated the minds of all people, and how this mentality is partly correct, but partly not. However, these conclusions are too long to discuss in a simple blog. In so far as to put them in writing, and I will put them, Ill be releasing them on my personal website [1]http://rosenvaldo.simoes.sites.uol.com.br/ (for now, only in Portuguese). For now again, we get the conclusion, simple, but true, that we can change, and we change. Only the time scale of our personal changes is that it is too slow to realize that and we can congratulate ourselves for them. greetings to our changes for the better!
1. http://rosenvaldo.simoes.sites.uol.com.br/

1.4.7

Memory and popcorn (2004-08-22 13:46)

Ive been looking around on old ideas that I have also written down in my also old agenda. Things on the excess of knowledge, about algorithms and on axiomatic theories and object orientation. All because I do not think a way to sort my ideas. I am a perfectionist. I do not like taking risks. I thirst for knowledge. Anyway, I had a dream last night that is so crazy, forced me to get out of bed. Once I realized I had nished dreaming, I took pen and paper and wrote down everything that I was able to remind myself: I needed to register the crazy dream not to lose it. It was better than the best lms. And so I spent more time writing about dreaming the dream itself, and as I wrote in my old diary, she nally, after ve and a half long years, sold out in its ability to record things. She Is complete from beginning to end. She begins with ecological promises and ends with a hallucinatory dream. Very well. But my memories are not only in this agenda. Days ago, I felt curious to reread a lot of letters I have saved as souvenirs, letters written by me and my family and friends, letters exchanged between the years 1987 and 1995 and who were forgotten in a corner. I put them in chronological order and read one by one. What a surprise! I was impressed with the amount of detail youd forgotten about how my life was, and indeed still is, rich in experiences, but remembered well, without much eort, it seems obscure and uninteresting. No, I did not have a so boring life, I now realize, because of those old letters. Happy for my past, I now realize a good use for blogs. They now seem boring and I do not get many visitors, but in ten years will be very happy revisiting it, reading the same things that I will have written ten years ago and not remember more, and I feel grateful to have it done . The fact of receiving a visit is a mere side won. Of course, not everything is lost forever in our weak memories. Today I had a proof. Without help of a calendar, a diary, letters or a blog, I was able to remember something that surprised me: I made a bag of popcorn in the microwave and then putting them in a plastic bowl, I added salt as usual, but the salt was next to a glass of red pepper sauce. Bingo! Remembrance rescued. Yes, I remembered that as a child and lived in the sleepy village of Tujuguaba, in the State of So Paulo, we, citizens, used to go on Saturdays and Sundays to the church of St. Anthony, the only Catholic church of the place. A simple little church 48

surrounded by a nice little park with nice benches, where children played and adults walking. Next to the stairs that gave access to the garden, a popcorn vendor usually appeared. It was Pigeon, the popcorn seller, a thin and quiet man that lived near the church, and took the opportunity to earn a few bucks. There, we ate our popcorn with salt and pepper sauce, and remember now, it was good! I moved from Tujuguaba when I was 14 years old. I spent twenty years without remember in popcorn with chili, and even less in Pigeon. What is the advantage of it? I do not know, but I was happy to remind me of my childhood, popcorn with chili, and thats enough. We can not misprise these little moments. We are what we remember who we are.

1.4.8

The lack and the excess of information (2004-08-25 05:50)

I have tried to focus on a productive activity, but I always have with me a slight feeling that no matter what I do, Im in the wrong direction and wasting my time. I mean, not that I do not see a value in what I do, but looking at things from an existentialist perspective, everything is meaningless. No matter what I do, so I nd myself doing some hard questions: Why am I doing this? Where will this lead? Whats the point? What do I gain? And if it is an illusion? Indeed, my problem is everyones problem, although not everyone knows this problem: the death. Not that Im afraid to die. I do not want exactly the opposite: to waste my life on something not worth it, but I just go nd that it not worth when on my deathbed. This feeling of not knowing what is really worth in life has haunted me for years. In Epito, the song of the Tits, one brazilian rocknroll band, have a clear example of the embedded message behind this idea of urgency and alert. The lyrics are like the poem Moments, apparently Nadine Stair. We should do certain things and not others, or rather, we should do more things and less others. But what guarantee do we in the end? No one. Its a beautiful letter, but dont serves as a foundation for leading a life. Incidentally, this is the subject of this message: lack and excess of information. We lack information to guide us, and this precisely because we have an oversupply of information. We have the self-help books, and we have religions, and philosophy, and psychology, and we have gurus, and we still have a million other sources of information bombarding us with compelling messages. Do this and be happy, do it and be rich. Leave to do A to do B. Forget C. How to separate the wheat from the cha? And who ensures that there is wheat in the midst of so much cha? We could aord to test these requirements. Practice is the best proof. But life is too short for testing. And at the end of a test that can take a lifetime, we nd that the trick does not work? Too late, you missed ... Doubt has immobilize me. I have to start something, but I arrest myself in a logical vicious circle wich not allow me to leave it. How to get out of a wheel of rats? Where to start a circle? Im stuck with my own intellectual limitations. Im not smart or wise enough to nd a way out. Meanwhile, time passes ... Decipher me or I will devour you!

1.4.9

Olympic ambitions (2004-08-28 05:49)

At the time of the Olympics, when we see the constant images of athletes receiving medals and laurel wreaths for their incredible victories, it is not uncommon to feel in ourselves a mix of emotions, starting 49

with national pride, through the individual respect, empathy, envy and ending with sorrow and regret for not being ourselves the winners. We feel that someone who receives a medal is in truth a mere human being, although an exceptional athlete, and feel that, like them, we had our windows of opportunity, but let it close. We know its too late now, but then console ourselves. After all, how could it be otherwise? We are mortals and we have our lives to care. How could we have been Olympic athletes?

What is the role of ambition in this context? Perhaps the ambition has no place in the spectrum of feelings of ordinary mortals like us, but, why not, if we envy the winners? If envy, why not be like them? The most common answer is that indeed, we are content with what we have. We are pleased with our small achievements and somehow, the ambition is a dangerous feeling. She can bring medals, but can also bring war, death, and it may be the cause of all misery in the world. Take any problem, personal or global, and ambition serves perfectly as a cause to take responsibility. We can not justify the misery of world hunger as a result of the greed of the rich countries who do not want to give up a small share of their wealth? And our diculties of day-to-day? Of course, we always attribute our problems to the ambition of the boss, wife, husband, the government or the driver with a newer car. But what we can achieve in life without a little healthy ambition? Pure and simple humility is the outright disgusting and undergrowth. Even animals are humble in relative terms. No living thing had a intend to give up what nature bestowed upon them by right. No gazelle surrender meekly to a lion to be devoured. Everyone has the right to be ambitious. Maybe the evil of ambition is when we aspire to achieve our ambitions at the expense of others. From a social point of view, this is the best ambition: that allows us to win, but not prevent the next win as well. Made this distinction, ambition is not at all a bad feeling. It is natural that is not socially encouraged in our country. A tradition of political and religious makes us, Brazilians people, more humble than ambitious (unlike our dear brothers from Argentina). In a way, the ambition goes against certain Christian religious principles. But this Christian reading of the ambition is nonsense. If we think that the founder of Christianity himself says God, then it is perhaps the most ambitious men, if not even a god. And if he asks us to be like him, so why not give space to our healthy ambitions? The main question is: is it worth? In most cases, we will not receive any laurel wreath for our eorts, and the overwhelming majority of our investees, we fail, with no right, sometimes having as award only damages. But the few times that we are successful, then the eort will be compensated. At this time, we will be envied and admired, and respected, and be the pride of the nation. And we feel proud of ourselves, and we will be explosively happy, which is what matters most, in the end. As a accessory prize, humanity wins with this, because whenever we do great things, these things tend to be good things, and of which not only we, but all benet. So from where start? We have no basis whatsoever to assume that we will succeed, but some lessons our fellow Olympic athletes teach us. First, that even a superatleta can at most be a pent-athlete, but a versatile athlete, a superatleta. I mean, it increases your chances of success when he decides to be an expert in running, or swimming, or basketball, but not all at the same time. Focus is what they teach. Second, there is amateur athletes and professional athletes. And if we want to be a professional athlete, the work must be full time, not just on weekends, and not only when we want. Dedication is what they teach. I wonder, because I have no ambition to shape other ideas or suggest other opinions: what my focus? When will I start to dedicate myself to it? About laurels , I think them later ...

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1.5
1.5.1

September
Collateral (2004-09-05 07:14)

I just watched Collateral, with Tom Cruise. A movie that has nothing more, unless senseless violence and sadness. However, there is at least one deeply philosophical scene. The close death of people hatches, and we feel bad in front of a corpse. This past week I had the misfortune to see in person a corpse wrapped in a blanket on a street in the path between my house and my service. One man died of cardiac arrest at around nine in the morning, sweltering by the heat of Goinia, Brazil, by the fat in the blood, the blood pressure, by age, by a set of factors. Nothing could be done and the body was there, in the street, when I go to the service. This is not common. Death is not pleasant. But Vincent, the assassin played by Tom Cruise, reminds the shocked taxi driver that in Rwanda thousands of people died in a very few days, a human massacre only surpassed in quantity and speed for the massacres of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but the taxi driver felt nothing against Rwandan catastrophe. Vincent also claims that we are nothing in a meaningless cosmos, and that to kill or die means nothing, pessimistic like Schopenhauer. At the end of the movie, after watched the Beslan massacre, there is impression that its a sad time. Since September 11, exact three years we have witnessed massacres continuosly. New York, Washington, Pennsylvania, Madrid, Beslan, Moscow, Baghdad, Fallujah, Najaf, Stambul, Abu Grabi, Guantanamo, Tel Aviv, Gaza, just to name the most famous. In fact, we need not even refer to our cosmic insignicance to minimize the death of a single human being. Just take it in comparison to the atrocities that we are almost getting used to seeing every day in the international news. We live in a new crusade? Maybe, but either way, we are going through dicult times. And what about Brazil? I do not know which is worse: terrorism militancy with political and religious and even economic background, or cultural terrorism that silently plagues our country. In fact, this kind of terrorism makes me appalled and outraged that massacres of tens of innocent civilians. No, I am not indierent to the death of anyone, but I am especially outraged by the culture massacre that are submitted, we, Brazilians, by the media of our poor country. I felt that we are on a dangerous course when I watched for a few seconds, by chance, a Gugu Liberato tv show, one Sunday, seven in the evening, at the height of the weekly general audience, when millions of citizens from all social strata are glued to front of the TV. It is not dicult for someone who does not see the open and free television programs to realize that what the media does, or tries to do with all of us is much more cruel than what they do in groups of suicide bombers ghting for their causes, whether are. I believe that is not Gugu himself who is behind something so low, so horrifying, as the program that has the job of presenting. Brazilian television as a disservice to the nation that actually we, brazilians, do not need enemies, our own media is our enemy more powerful than any other form of threat, internal or external. Subtle, it condemns generations of millions of citizens to ignorance, pettiness, superciality, banality on such a scale that does not surprise me to see Brazil go through a process of stupefaction of the population such that it will eventually lead the country to a state of barbarism in which we never in our entire history. We will be, or already are, a stupid country whose range of values was turned upside down under a subtly brainwashed led by a lot of Gugu and Fausto (Big Faust, a plumper and horrible guy, showmaker) by Big Brother and Artist s Home, by ridiculous soap operas in afternoons and nights, by pornographic musical groups, the culture of malice and double entender, the apology of trickery, stuck in the queue and the bad check, the deication of Nelson Rodrigues, a pornographic writer, and its popular and cheap movies, therefore, a pseudo-culture of a country that has never produced anything has cultural value and timeless character globally recognized. Yes, we have culture, but not in quality and in sucient quantity to make our people better citizens. And if the television as a means unquestionable technological eciency, can not contribute, should not therefore harm. The ruling elite of Brazil and the medias businessmen will prove the 51

own poison. The monster that Gugu and Fausto feed one day will eventually eat all of the elite rst, and yourself, then, in his eagerness to ignorance. But ignorance is just a collateral eect in the search for one more point in television audience measurement.

1.5.2

Olga and information in a Blog abandoned to the ies (2004-09-14 08:07)

This blog goes abandoned to the ies. Suddenly, it gave me feeling I having nothing to say to the world, not worthy subject to be discussed. Not that Ive had no living in the meantime. Not so. Ive been doing things: reading compulsively, buying books compulsively, thinking about unsolvable problems until you have vertigo, watching movies, like Olga ... Oh, Olga deserves some comments. She, the actress, is beautiful! Talking Seriously, I think it is symptomatic the fact that a German woman has become a brazilian heroine. Why? Is missing native women with courage? Have we our own prejudices? I think sometimes that yes: another hero on the brazilian screens was Guevara, who just happens to be an argentinian. And lets be honest, Cazuza, a relatively famous brazilian singerman who died with AIDS, there was not no hero. An anti-hero, say, but not an example to follow, I think. Yes, we have Senna, that the Globo TV insists want to do he is like a national hero, and people urges to swallow this bullshit. I think, in fact, its just a matter of time before he leaves the screen, like Renato Russo, another supossed loved brazilian leader band who died with AIDS. But what about the heroes? Lacerda, a comunist? Maybe, I liked him ... Speaking seriously about Lacerda, imagine that an avenue or a main square of modern Germany in Berlin was called Avenue, or Square, Adolf Hitler. What about that? A scandal, is not it? For Brazil, the stature of a dictator like Getlio Vargas, one president, still arouses longing, fty years after his suicide. Why? Insucient heroes in politics? Or, Vargas was not actually a real dictator? Oh, every little town in Brazil has a square or avenue named Getulio Vargas. Why? Oh, he was a man of vision and modernized the country. Sure, but China is also modernizing under the communist boot. I could bring progress wrapped in blood. Its Enough. For those who had nothing to say, I already said too much ... One thing more holding my attention: the explosion of knowledge. The biblical apocalypse predicted: ... and knowledge shall increase ... Adding this multiplication to the fact that there is not in fact true knowledge, but only propositions that the authors want us to accept as true, and we must resign ourselves to the work of ltering from the information explosion what really matters. I think the explosion of knowledge may be a problem very soon. Our knowledge will destroy us like a biblical plague if they do not restrict ourselves to its potential eects. But this explosion is a topic for another day. For now, let me away the ies from that blog with the little words I have on hand.

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Chapter 2

2005
2.1
2.1.1

April
Long time! ... (2005-04-08 08:41)

Long time no write anything on this blog ... What happens is that Ive not to much to say ... and this is what I said on September, 15, 2004, in the last post that talked about the movie Olga. Its seven months of symptomatic silence: something happened in the meantime, but what? I do not know. Just know that Ive been reading my previous writings on this blog and I thought I write nice ... Ill move on ... Greetings to Pope John Paul III! And heres a prediction: the next pope will be North American, to joy and sorrow of many! I tell you...

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Chapter 3

2007
3.1
3.1.1

July
Still active (2007-07-13 12:18)

Still alive, and writing. Ive been putting into words a series of dreams Ive been having in recent years. But to make things public, I created the blog Amazing Dreams. Is still in early stages, but it is rm.

3.1.2

The public record (2007-07-13 12:30)

It seems that what is not written falls into oblivion. So why not register incredible dreams? I know that dreams are very personal things, very intimate, but also cool stu to be shared. Of course I will not put on the Internet no dream too intimate or anything outrageous or compromising. But what is a dream compromising? To dream that commit a crime, and then confess that I am, in a dream, a murderer? No, this is not the most serious problem. If something like that, it seems quite interesting ... I know if many people read about my dreams, could have a peculiar idea of my personality, my person, and also there are dreams that, for being too personal, did not arouse interest in anyone, may be dreams taxed as dumb, silly dreams, dull and stupid dreams, but thats okay. In fact, nobody reads anything that comes from me, because I do not advertise and Im not very regular with my blogs, but if they read, I would certainly be criticized. Of course the rst dreams were also published on the blog were the rst to be recorded on the day that were dreamed, and therefore, I did not have much tact in the choice of the dream. The rst are not up to much, but there are indeed very nice dreams. I think anyone who likes fantasy, exoticism, mystery, horror, science ction, futurism, disaster, panic, will have fun with the reports. Try it! 55

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3.1.3

Blog and movies (2007-07-16 13:25)

Lately, Ive been writing about dreams. But not only: Ive been watching DVD movies like never before. I also have heard a lot of cool music. My blog, Amazing Dreams, goes well. I put some pictures that give some guidance to the reader, and I think dreams are legal. Movies are many, but even those who are bad, end up being good. It has one, The Hills Have Eyes, which is pretty trash, with much fake blood and a lot of insanity and sadism, but has some very interesting scenes. Thinking that the United States did 331 open-air nuclear tests from 1945 to 1962, an average of 20 tests per year, it is still scary. The lm is a critique of this, and the scenes of the New Mexico desert, with its old houses with dolls, its craters and burned their cars is frighteningly nostalgic. I think the 50s were the most idiotic years of the century. Sure, the 20s were very silly, and the years before 1914 were also naively romantic and Victorian. But the rise of the American way of life and their trinkets and their boasting was tragic. Scenes from the beginning of the lm is staggering, although the rest is hurting bad. Finally, Im listening to classical soundtracks. Very good, if I think I bought a box of six CDs with only songs that were classic movie themes for a pittance. But who would buy this kind of music? Further, who would buy any kind of music today? Even I, who not like much gadgets, won a MP4. It is inevitable ... Finally, there is my computer, which does not help. Migrate data from an old Pentium 266 to a new PC is not easy. At this time, I think the MP4 will be more than useful. And there remains the question of the lottery. What question is this? Well, lets to the next post ... 56

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3.1.4

Buying time (2007-07-30 13:49)

If there is something I appreciate, is the time. But it was not always so. There was a time I did not understand the brevity of life. Thinking as I think today, I was as naive, and I also see how many billions of people do not realize this fate: the time is short, very short. Too short ... I try to enjoy the time, but it is scarce. Not that I have a lot of things to do. Yes, it is true, but even the few things elected to be made primarily require more time than we imagine it would take before the choose to do. The day is short: I sleep eight hours, and work another eight hours. I spend another hour in trac and another hour for meals. I shower and go to the bathroom, and is done: remaining four, ve hours at most. I can not sleep less. If I could, I would sleep even more. Sleeps quality of life. So the secret of life is not working eight hours a day. But how? One idea is to make lots of money, and then stop working, living from income. But what chance we have to make lots of money and then stop, winning with it nine or ten free hours more per day? I do not know, but this question is the center of my thoughts recently. If I want to do more than Ive been doing, I need time. But rst I need to buy it. Money, then, means freedom. Until I gain a few million and I retire, I live with my work, stealing bits of time between a little job and another, like a bureaucratic rat, a small saboteur of the system, which insists on doing more than it should, but not exactly what the system needs. Ah! I have to do something that compensates for this small crime, but what? 57

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3.1.5

Well worked day (2007-07-31 14:20)

You know what is a well worked day? It is the day that you did not see the hours pass, involved in a sea of paperwork, and after many phone calls and a lot of query in databases, you can send that pile of document folders that was on his desk since 2003, with yellow covers and weighing ve pounds. One of these days is remarkable. Nobody thanks, nobody notices, nobody celebrates, but it is a milestone in your ability to work, proof that you can start things and that things can be concluded, despite the endless bureaucracy. You do not going to let the world succumb to slumber worthy of The Trial, by Kafka, because you do not submit to this philosophy, you are not compliant, or consent to this national crime, who is the incompetence. You will not admit whether to build the bridges connecting nothing to nothing, and you will not admit that a airport, it cost 100 milion dollars, be stopped one year depending upon your simple signing, or a meaningless and unknown bureaucrat. No, you do not allow ... With you, every day is a well-worked, even if you is a mere civil servant. No, you are not allows for less ... 58

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3.2
3.2.1

August
The inert bureaucracy, the old man and the corpse (2007-08-01 07:08)

Close my hours today with a urry of writings on bureaucracy. Id like to make life simpler, but I can not. Theres an inertia that is from life itself: nothing changes overnight. It takes years and years for the changes are noted, and we are more like trees than with rats. We are slow and not very adaptive, but yet with all this slowness, we are as plentiful as rats! But who said that the slower trees are not plentiful? Slowness does not imply scarcity. In the morning, I heard Bach and his violin concerts. They give an incredible peace, and wondering what he had in mind when he composed his works in anonymity. I saw an old man being supported by a young girl for a morning walk. I thought of the day it occurs to me: live long enough to be supported? Do not know, but a fragile body still deserves a little sunshine on a cold morning. I was mulling over the day is in our Darwinian world, we should reward the victors or to punish them, helping the losers. The State should seek equality of citizens, but will be a mission possible? So I gave to myself the answer: if I were poor, would nd it bad to be helped by stronger through the State? The answer is obvious: Ive been helped ... Then, nally, a body buried by mistake in a little city in So Paulo State ends just like a lot of bones inside a dark hole. Treated as the remains of an indigent, the body was mixed in a world of other bones, and the family can never give the bones a decent and nal place. The lesson is clear: even in death, you can get into trouble! 59

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3.3
3.3.1

September
Credulity on the written word (2007-09-05 07:59)

I always had respect for the written word. It seems that no one can conceive idea of someone blatantly lying through texts, how to make friends in a group, in bars and pubs of life. There is not have bouncers in the world of literature. But then, that I believed everything I read? Yes, I believed, until I read that we should not believe everything the books say. Of course the books are not intended to lie, nor the authors want to deceive us. What I learned is that sometimes what is said is no true. The reason for telling untruths can be good, but even a well-intentioned lie remains a lie. The rule is: we must read almost everything critically. Of course, not everything needs to criticism, but there are dangerous texts. A dangerous branch is one which have appearance of true knowledge, but not is. For example, the selfhelp books, psychology books, books on politics, economics, administration, catch-phrases and sayings, the arguments of scientists and authorities. Take any sentence and make the race. But then, skepticism becomes the rule. We read, but there is no evidence, or warranties. Where then is the truth? 60

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Chapter 4

2008
4.1
4.1.1

February
A some cultivated blog (2008-02-20 08:13)

My blog is almost four years and, unfortunately, is not the most visited in web: only 910 visits. If we do the math, they are only 250 people per year, or something around one person per day. Its not enough ... What impact causes my texts in people who read them? I can not say. As for me, I have not read anyones blog, I can not assess the degree of inuence that texts in blogs usually have on people. Anyway, the best way to face a hit counter to a small value is with a mixture of patience and challenge.

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4.1.2

Long life, new look (2008-02-20 08:33)

This blog already has a long life and needed a new face. Looking back, reread my rst posts on this blog, I realize that: The layout is bad. My name is not complete. My mood of the day has never been changed and no longer reects reality. My appearance, my avatar is a waste. My promises were not fullled. Texts without pictures are visually poor. Somehow, there is no harmony of fonts, sizes and colors. Thus imbued with spirit and time, I decided a shakeup in this blog. I took the following action: I changed the layout to something simple and basic, adult, serious and monochrome. Only text and images without explosions of colors and themes. Simple ... The name of the blog now reects my full name. What have I to fear? Theres no one my mood of the day, but what I write. I ended up with him. My appearance does not matter. Disappeared with her. My promises were not kept, I admit, but at least they were not forgotten, thanks to this blog, which is a real time capsule. I will resume my promises ... Im adding images in each text. It looks so much better ... Im harmonizing the fonts and sizes. It is also better. I hope it lasts for a few long years!

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4.1.3

Building the future from the past (2008-02-25 13:51)

There is a phrase that struck me in a profound way: To plan your future seriously, it is necessary to understand and evaluate your pastThis phrase was coined by Og Mandino, in his book The University of Success. Evaluate the past is a concept that recalls Freud, psychoanalysis, childrens trauma and developmental stages with strong sexual connotations, an approach of human being which I do not like, although I not a 64

psychologist. But, in general, for some time that sentence made sense. Of course I now do not take it so seriously, but it was the basis for serious eorts I have done since I read it. Seeking to understand the past, I began rummaging through forgotten things, characters already killed, remembrances and written memoirs. I do not know if this trip to the self-museum served for a good planning to the future, but the tour made me realize that the past worths by its own, regardless of the utility that may have as support for future planning. Where starts my past? The question has no clear answer, but in search for answers, I inevitably come to a period of time prior to my existence. I was born in 1970, but my past is remote. Until where memories are still preserved, my past begins in the nineteenth century ... May no longer be the case for believing that should build a future based on the past, but it seems to me that is no longer possible to live without rst reconstructing the past from the ruins left over in the minds which are slowly fading . Reconstructing the past is to ght for the light is not extinguished. It is, therefore, a worthy and honorable task to be performed.

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4.1.4

Why use an agenda? (2008-02-25 14:44)

I started using a agenda in 1999. What is an agenda, exactly? Basically, its a notebook with some facilities, but like any notebook, your goal is to receive notes that deserve to be remembered. We do not need to write down things, but is always best to note them, because we do not have a reliable memory. The fact that we can forget things like names, phone numbers, dates and appointments is not a triviality. Forgetfulness is a strong indication that our brain does not contain an excessive mass of information for a long time. Hence the importance of writing as an extension of our memory. We think, remember, note, and then forget safely, because we just need to open the schedule and our memory is instantly recovered. 65

But in what moment of my life in particular I had awareness that I needed an agenda? Because until then, Id survived quite well without one, and millions of people continue to survive without their. There was some fact that has induced me to use a calendar? Or I come to the conclusion that I needed a paper extension of my memory based only on my conjectures and experience? Who or what inuenced me? How great was my need to record information on a piece of paper at the time of my life? Original date of creation of this text: Saturday, September 17, 2005 18:49:39

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4.2

March

4.2.1

False News: My blog about lies (2008-03-05 12:34)

I just gave a renewed on my blog False News. Now hes with photos and is pretty cool. The address is [1]False News and I think his idea is very valid. Check it. 66

[2] The government conrms: freedom of expression will be taxed. Editor: The government intends to tax the freedom of expression, but no society should shut up. If the rate falls on the news, the tax cheat is lying. Lie: come cheap and its fun! Population adheres to the wave of false news. Liars gather in public and play for free.
1. http://ro.s.s.blog.uol.com.br/ 2. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGdpsCzVWLI/AAAAAAAAAE8/tpS5z889r3k/s1600/0001.jpg

4.2.2

I know you will kill all these lions, but... (2008-03-18 13:06)

One step at a time, as if life would never end. Thats how things should be done. You control your nances? If not control, should control. And if you control, you lose a lot of time, you know that could be used to see some cool movies on television, or to hear a pleasant sound in the room, or to give that journey that you are promising yourself for a long time. What comes rst: the nances or health? No matter: you do not have time for any of the two. If you make a monstrous eort, Youll have money and health, but not time to spend money and use your body healthy for anything else, but to work. And the songs? And the movies? Make an eort and put a CD with those tasty ballads while sending emails, receiving bills, take a walk. And their dreams and infallible plans? Projects are in the drawer, I know. Or are in the agenda, well-noted, because you know its a hardworking person and one day put into practice all his plans. One day you will do everything, will go to everywhere and be able to establish order and everything. Everything will has a label, because everything is in your corner, and life will ow like clockwork. 67

But everything has its time and in the end, you will write your biography, to your great grandchildren to know that the good world they live in was built with hard work and sweat by the ancestors, and that they should stop being lazy and potheads. Yeah, I know you will do the trick. Good luck, but do not forget that old CD of ballads in the mountain of junk near the TV. Think about tomorrow without forgetting today. Sing a little.

[1]
1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGdqxsJuBxI/AAAAAAAAAFE/M5KTbPGn4jI/s1600/20080318-1450.jpg

4.2.3

The addiction of the storyteller (2008-03-24 13:20)

I think that writing is actually an addiction. Ive always been a person thoughtful against addictions. Ive been a smoker and I know there are addictions and addictions. Smoking, drinking, using drugs, eating or not eating, exercising or sleeping too much, talking on the phone or driving a car, car care, wash car rubbishs, using internet, pornography online, games, chat and messenger, and write blogs. All the above examples are vices, but the vice of writing is interesting. You do something and think about this as something would make a good story. You remember something and think how cool would be that memory in your blog, in his biography, on the television screen, in a mini-series, in a movie. They are journeys without any fruit. But we have other addictions, such as the organizations damn addictive, the habit of the order, the vice of all-knowing, and the habit of right making, not to mention the addiction of no-take-out, or rather, the habit 68

of saving all. And because every addiction consumes a world of time, we are not happy people. Attend an addiction implies disregard others who are itching in our minds as open wounds. I will think a little more about these damn addiction ...

[1]
1. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGdrvxHWsQI/AAAAAAAAAFM/pLqgsUx-Cls/s1600/20080324-1820.jpg

4.2.4

The eternal backup (2008-03-24 18:50)

I lost some time today doing a backup of this blog. Anyone who has lost something that liked and that was seemingly secure in HD from any computer or on any server on the Internet? One day you wake up and your HD is gone. Where are your loved les? No, there is no insurance against lost drives. It is a drama that can make a person crazy. But the data that are on the internet? And our dear blogging? And if one day I go with my browser to the page of my loved blog and he no longer exists? Where are my perfect writings? The provider will regret and apologize and give discounts, but will not make born again he inspired and sublime text. If I do not do a backup of these beautiful texts, and do it fast, I run the risk of falling into oblivion after a bug or virus. Fire, bugs, viruses and neglect companies can destroy the work of years of innocent people. So do not be afraid to make a backup of everything you produce, whether in HD, or in the blogs of life. One day they might be gone. But, and after? One day, when I die, everything I wrote would be deleted. The things I write are important only to me. I can get a crowd of fans, as a famous poet or old singerman, but nobody will care to put my writings available to the world. Everything will be forgotten. 69

And my papers, my documents, my tax bills, my nancial bills, my paid bills, my property tax? What will become of my paper les? Nothing. Nothing will be done them. Someone with a bit of bad humor will put everything in the nearest garbage can. Why think that? Ah! Its just an addiction in strategic thinking. Its just habit of thinking in long term. Thats it.

[1]
1. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGdsjbCQMjI/AAAAAAAAAFU/wOM-_6VSuRk/s1600/20080324-1850.jpg

4.2.5

The cover of the agenda (2008-03-24 19:32)

Whenever I think about this blog, I remember that I have somecalendars with nice notes. I also remember that I have three computers and many hundreds of books. And I have many music CDs, CDs with softwares and games, DVD movies and documentaries and curiosity by millions of cool sites on the Internet wich are waiting me to be seen. Thats a lot, but the day has only a few working hours. But since was thinking the agenda, I could at least put her photo in this blog. But how? I have a atbed scanner, but it is the old PC, but old PC is too slow and not allow me to transfer data to new PC, because it has no USB port. Scan a cover of an agenda seems dicult? To me, its a problem. Transfer the old PC scanner for new PC? No way, at least for now. Takes a long time with cables, drivers and settings. Forget it. I still have a 9-megapixel digital camera. But I still do not know uses it. Just bought it and I left in a drawer. I dont have time and patience to install the software on a CD that comes with the camera, and still need to read manuals and Helps to operate both the camera and the software. Finally, now I has a webcam, those used in Microsoft Messenger. Is that good? I do not know. Never tried it. But the problem remains. It takes time. Here is a task that challenges me to face it. I know its only the cover of a calendar, but she refuses to turn into a jpg image of my dear blog. If you take the trouble to read my next posts, do not be surprised if you see the cover of the agenda in one of them, because now I was challenged publicly. Lets see if life is so dicult as it sounds. But, magic: look at the cover of the agenda! 70

[1]
1. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGdtZF4FTLI/AAAAAAAAAFc/Ypugwg6QLQw/s1600/20080324-1930.jpg

4.2.6

The moral of the story (2008-03-24 19:56)

I have a lot of stories to tell. I still have a lot of ideas to be thought, preached, diused. And have a lot of plans, all very good. I have a lot of books with a lot of cool things to be discussed. My stories and ideas are poor? I do not know. Perhaps they are, maybe not. So why write them? Because it feels good. For that reason alone. But, if I do only what I think good, how I nd time to do a thing what needs to be done, but it is not hot? But what is not good? What I nedd to do, but not like to do? Finances? But I like it! What I dislike is the monopoly of a single vice. Yes, I can admit that what I do constantly ends up being part of me as an addiction, even though the word addiction is not exactly appropriate, because it has a bad connotation. What is habit then. My habits make me? I do not know, but a habit that monopolizes all my time is not a good habit. Only a habit that produces something valuable can have a monopoly of the time, but if the habit is to write, which valuable produces a history? Sometimes, I think the best you can produce is a moral at the end. But a mania must have a moral justication for its existence? 71

The stories that I write need a moral background that justies them, as they are rst written to satisfy my selsh compulsion to write? And if they have no moral background? What is the problem? A moral background is just a gimmick for the readers? What sin in writing for pleasure? I read Alice in Wonderland. I will not go away talking about this book, but the theme of morality necessarily lead me to it. There are between their characters an ugly Duchess lives trying to nd a moral to each story. I can not tell if the author, Lewis Carol, had someone in mind when he created this character. In this case, it was the opposite: the addiction was not the stories without morals, but the search for a moral obligatory. A story without a moral was not a story. I do not know if facts need a moral at the end. Some things just happen, but we cant draw any kind of lesson from them. They are mundane or amazing by themselves. Moral of the story: stories need not be moral. This conclusion brings me a very suspicious relief and sounds like a sign saying smoking is good for health. Would you believe in an announcement like this?

[1]
1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGduftuebCI/AAAAAAAAAFk/oGCEWtnwTUM/s1600/20080324-2015.jpg

4.2.7

Awakening to the present (2008-03-25 20:37)

Have you ever suddenly realize that you live in a world where things are easier than you think? It may sound like not, but life is easier today than yesterday, at least in some respects. When I started writing some texts, as a teenager, he used pen and paper. I still use, but then I have a fucking job to type everything on your PC. It is double work. 72

Now, I use the PC, but there was a time I used a typewriter. Yeah, I know to type properly. I took a typing class in an ancient Remington machine. My teacher has already died a long time. Today, neither the place of the school exist. It was in 1984. But when I decided to use a PC, was a revolution. Who ever typed some text in the Edit, from DOS? Not? Neither knows what is the Edit? Yes, it is a long time that nobody uses more Edit, but everyone uses Notepad, or Wordpad, do not use? But the good thing is Word, starting with Word 7, Word 97, Word 2000, Word 2003 and Word 2007 now. I stopped in Word 2000 and I think its more than enough. And you know why? An Oce suite costs just 500 dollars in Brazil. Thats why ... But there is a huge gap between writing and publishing. Yes, I published in 1996, when the Internet was in diapers. And now, its so easy! How many people aordable! A wealth of communication and distribution channels! How many audience! I need just overcome laziness. This time, I blame laziness,changing the standard excuse: lack of time. I hate cliches, and lack of time already bored. Laziness? Me? No. Is it lack of time, and to hell who does not like the buzzwords. With you, it, the machine which I learned typing.

[1]

1. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGdvjhGjzPI/AAAAAAAAAFs/6eMgV8b_YZE/s1600/20080325-2035.jpg

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4.3
4.3.1

April
The Day of the Lion (2008-04-03 11:45)

There was no way. I spent the day curled up with the reading old news, with the payment of bills, and nally hit the front with him, the brazilian Lion of Income Tax (lion is the animal-symbol of the greed of the Brazilian government for taxes). This time, I have not had to shell out anything, but I will have a meager restitution. It is not easy to stand rm today. Anyway, I still relatively lively. Just been stubborn, I will open a dozen more blogs about any and every kind of subject that I like a lot, because this is my business. By the way, I open one about safety: Defend Yourself! Actually, I just put links and safety tips that I myself do not forget that I can handle myself, but anyway, it costs nothing to share with others this type of information. I also thought about doing another blog about health tips, but I thought better and gave up the idea, because in this case, Im not in the health area and talk about what you do not know very well is risky and can harm people unwittingly . So I set myself on issues that I like, such as computer, internet, business, ying saucers and ghosts. Speaking about computers, I managed a remarkable feat: I repair my Outlook 2000. It is curious how a simple computer program that everyone has and uses can disrupt our lives. The story goes like this ... I bought a new PC with Windows Vista. But I use Oce 2000. So, whenever I would do anything in Outlook 2000, how to create a new task, I received an error message that idiot talking about the lack of Wab.dll. I tried to nd a way, but as I always do, I went to Google in search of the same or similar problems. I typed wab Outlook 2000 error. No wonder that Google is swallowing the world. He searched in Portuguese, as commanded, but seems to have understood the problem, so that also showed a response with one or two links in English. Moral of the story: I do not nd anything that resolves the error on sites in Portuguese. But I found a forum in English and a guy, Rollin, gave some hints. It was fast and easy. I copied two les from one folder to another, I copied and pasted two registry commands on the command line of the Start menu and go. The Outlook was round. Now, two interesting things. First, that an English prep school I attended for almost two years now is making a dierence. Not that I embowel all in English, but what I learned is useful today.

And second, that American kids can have their problems, and everything else, but it seems that in Brazil there is no one really knows computing in depth as required by the market need. Brazilian kids can be good playing video games and hacking counters visits in famous sites, but to solve important things I do not see any progress. But no matter. What counts is that the lion is dead this year. Or not? 74

[1]
1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGdwvebDz3I/AAAAAAAAAF0/HpQ09Sffxug/s1600/20080403-1145.jpg

4.3.2

A productive day (2008-04-04 18:12)

For the rst time in a long time I slept early and woke up early at home. Of course we wake up early and sleep more or less early in the service, but at home is another thing. I took a look in my mail. I have led about 8,500 e-mails since 1999. Of this total, I read only about 5,000. I stopped reading them in early 2007. There are 3500 to reading yet. Not only that, I took a look at my nancial control. Ive been taking notes and managing my nances from early 2002 until late 2004. But I have everything written down on paper since then. Now, is three and a half years of nancial notes to be arranged. Why? Do not ask me. Also I had a mania for control my weight in a spreadsheet in Excel. Ive been writing down my weight daily since mid-2002. I was with the data on paper. So I moved it to the worksheet data accumulated since the beginning of 2007. If to note the weight solves anything? I do not know, but I note it anyway. Why all this delay? Because of lack the time. A person who works every day of the week from morning till evening can not aord to control anything. If you try to maintain any nancial control, health or even read e-mails and go to the gym with any regularity, will fail to do something important at home, playing with the children and help them in homework. You also will not have time to surf the Internet, nor the time to talk to your wife. Nor can sleep early. And, as said an expert on stress very famous: there is no coee enough in the world. The other day, there is not even coee enough. By the way, I went to the gym and read something while riding for forty minutes. In break, in the way to home, I bought and carried a gallon of 20 liters of mineral water, because the house is over. 75

It is not an easy life. Ive been looking around in the community on personal safety, but found nothing interesting. I wanted to share my blog on them, but as I have not seen anything with the right prole, I decided myself to create a community on the subject. Its called Living Safely. I hope people will participate. This is the image of the community:

[1]
1. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGdyVy9qpEI/AAAAAAAAAF8/6zOa8NdIko4/s1600/defenda-se.jpg

4.3.3

Perseverance and blographies (2008-04-07 16:38)

Thinking about blogs, I think if a person wanted to write the story of her life, she could use a blog? I think not, unless readers begin reading about life in the direction opposite to the clock. I dont know if there are blogs that allow organizing the posts in order of oldest to newest, so that anyone start reading the older things and then come to the newest. But thats the way should be read any biography. Okay, we can write the other way, but it would be no cool. Then there are always stories to be inserted between one period and another in a time line, because our biographies are formed based on our memories and our memory does not work exactly in chronological order. Then suddenly I remember a cool story that happened back in time, but the blog does not allow me to put a new story in the middle of the old, because he, the blog, is tied to a dierent concept of time. Another interesting thing Ive been doing has been visiting blogs of people in UOL, using the criteria of categories such as economics, hobbies, family and others. In fact, nobody cares to sort your blogs correctly. And then, as I imagined, few people put more than a dozen messages. Blogging requires patience, perseverance and content. I think Ill risk creating my biography as a site. Although it is technically more dicult, one site is more exible than a blog. By the way, heres a cool product to work in the web. A blog suitable for biographies. Something like Blograes. Cool! 76

[1]
1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGd0S_qxpOI/AAAAAAAAAGE/7wFlvT14EP8/s1600/20080407-1640.jpg

4.3.4

The deterioration of the things (2008-04-09 12:28)

As I said, I have thousands of emails archived. The oldest of them was a return message, 1999, sent by ListBot after I joined a newsletter about conspiracies. Today, the ListBot no longer exists, the site with the newsletter is not updated for almost a decade and his owner is now involved in a project altogether. It also has a lot of emails from the same time it when I applied on the Stock Exchange, via homebroker in ancient Nettrade site. I tried to follow the old links of e-mails, but there are no more Nettrade or Patagon.com or anything. You can search the emergence of Nettrade and Patagon in Google, via trade magazines of that years, such as Voc S/A and others, but thats it. The site is just an empty page. All projects of that era have disappeared. Also ListBot was bought by Microsoft, and online brokerage that time today must belong to a large bank. This is proof that there is a kind of deterioration, corrosion that is slowly destroying sites and projects in the virtual world the same way we see the physical things around us deteriorate. Yesterday I spent a few minutes very unpleasant repairing the water outlet of the washing tank in loundry room at home, which was leaking and was dead for months, waiting for my nal action. I had bought new plastic connectors, but the thing, the building, the place where the tank is installed, too close to the wall, it was so poorly done that I could not use the slots the way they should be used. I had to saw, cut, open, in short, I had to do a juggling such that at the end the pipe is tted, but still the same damn leak that led me to take the old tubing, leaving everything exactly as it was in the beginning. Yeah, things rot and stink. Stir with drains is not a cool thing. But we can not let things crumble around us. Even sites, blogs, emails and folders with old documents. In fact, I spent two hours separating documents that come together over many years. It was a simple 77

separation, which still need another two or three steps to be perfect, but it was a good job. I also put the scanner on new PC. Now, I can scan things and play out the papers. It is also a good start. Finally, I scoured the IG site looking for an e-mail account I forgot I had there. I checked it and I had even this account, with 36 e-mails accumulated since mid-2007. I do not even remember it. I used it once to try to create my rst blog, but failed. About this blog, no sign. I have no idea what Ive been writing in my single post. To close the day, I found a site that I really needed to know: Alexa. But let the Alexa later. The fact is that things deteriorate, no matter if these are material or virtual things. We must keep them. Or not.

[1]
1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGd2A2EVR6I/AAAAAAAAAGM/khh3q9BCl9Y/s1600/20080409-1230.jpg

4.3.5

too many things (2008-04-10 14:08)

I spent the day surng the internet, researching too much. I have the impression that everything is already done in the net. Think in something new. This is original only in your mind. Not on the Internet. Use Who.is. Try to create a domain with a creative name and you see that someone create this same name before you a long time ago, in several versions and variations and forms. Use Alexa and look at the world ranking of sites. Its disheartening. Go to Google and type anything. Anything at all! He will nd. 78

Then try on Wikipedia. Its the same thing. What is missing to appear? Type the letter A in Google and you will see that it is nd several billion sites, somewhere around 9 billion. A little more, maybe. Its really disheartening. It seems we have reached a point where we no longer do anything. Simply we consume the billions of things at our disposal, for free, that the world strives to provide us, in exchange for a few clicks. Search engines solve our problem providing billions of pages. Encyclopedias solve our problem providing innite knowledge. Social networking solve our problem conecting people. Finally, blogs solve our problem related with anonymity. Now, we try to be famous, or useful, or whatever we want to be. What other problems have not yet solved using internet? This is a question that is worth billions... Ive been thinking of an answer for it, but it is not easy. Not at all! They are too much things...

[1]
1. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGd3LQCzadI/AAAAAAAAAGU/nP4sFnGDM_8/s1600/20080410-1410.jpg

4.3.6

The price of success (2008-04-23 13:16)

Of course the success is a cool thing, I guess, because I do not know if we can say that we are successful in all aspects. Must be nice to have an Orkut community with over 5 million participants. A community like that makes people respect you. How can someone be so competent as well? 79

I do not know, but from a certain amount of success, some people pose as stars, and then start to be harassed. The harassment must do a darn well for the ego, I guess. But at what cost? A community owner should have some control over the content of what is posted on it, but when I glanced at the history of a great forum in a community on Orkut, I was impressed. I would not wish people want the death of their families in my community. I would not want children hate their parents and put it in writing for the world to see. Not in my community. I would not be successful using the drama and suering of teens to draw media attention, satisfy my ego and make some money on advertising of mobile phones and pen drives. If you have problems, everybody has. Now, if the way you want to solve their problems is not the right way, do not count with me to support you or to disseminate your distorted ideas. Success is not success without responsibility: is failure.

[1]
1. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGd4W2d7VBI/AAAAAAAAAGc/wLfVz2-12U8/s1600/20080423-1320.jpg

4.3.7

The look of success (2008-04-23 19:59)

Appearance is not everything, but it helps in the achievement of success. At least this is true when we talk about internet. Ive been taking a look at award-winning blogs around the world, and it became clear that a blog do not necessarily need good content, but without a good visual, he is nothing. So, I spent a few hours giving improved in the look of my blog. I know it was not very pretty, but it is much better than the old look, old-fashioned and serious. To give a nice visual takes time and ends up making us pay more attention to appearances than to content. There are blogs that belong to 12 years old boys wich seems to be made by a master of design. Of course the content is 80

pure nonsense, but the look rocks. Moral: The rst hen that cackles...

[1]
1. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGd5QLoTi4I/AAAAAAAAAGk/fvWM_3N4umU/s1600/20080423-2000.jpg

4.3.8

Backup is a hard work (2008-04-24 19:27)

I spent all day thinking of a way to make a decent backup of my data on computer. It may seem like something a bit paranoid, but only those who have lost a hard drive with no backup or had stolen a micro know what Im talking about. The problem is with Windows Vista Start Edition, which does not come with a decent backup program. Incidentally, does not come with any backup program. All right if Baixaki and SuperDownloads sites have hundreds of backup programs, but I think I have to think of something more secure than a simple backup to DVD. Every good backup site states the obvious: a backup on DVD only makes sense if it is done in at least two copies, one to be kept in a safe and another to stay somewhere else on the planet, in case of any missile fall in the building where the main computer. One option seemingly secure is online backup, but seems to be a risky business, because it usually is paid and have a size limit. And then, a company that provides this type of service must be a safe company. Tomorrow she closes the door and put our data in risk. The size issue is much more serious. Before making a backup, I thought, how many les I have on my HD? The answer is somewhere around 90,000 les. It seems little, but it is not. I wanted a software to show me my les today, then save the entire listing in a text le. Within a month I would run it again and record a second record of the les on my HD and so on. The idea is to monitor what emerges and what disappears from my les over time. Only a history. The problem is that a list containing the names of 90,000 les is simply too great. Even for a simple text le type. Its almost One megabite only with lines of names, which equals, if it were printed, a good book of some three hundred pages. 81

Its too much. Of course, almost everything is bullshit. Thousands of les belong to Windows, other thousands belong to other programs that we can easily install. That leaves a few thousand who are our e-mails, photos, spreadsheets, school works, and presentations from the company where we work. But we do not want to miss anything. After all, it represent many hours of sweat and anger in form of stored les. In the end, few programs have worked satisfactorily. I ended up with a simple little program that you can not list everything, but at least the list more used folders without stay much. Now, I have to think a way to select between good les that worth something and bad les that worth nothing. Then, do the backup. Then, hope you never have to use it to restore a detonated HD, or replace data from a stolen PC . This digital life is not easy.

[1]
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Chapter 5

2009
5.1
5.1.1

June
Im not writing much (2009-06-04 00:15)

Interesting how were wrong. My rst text on this blog saying that I write a lot every day. This is not true. Never was. What exists is only a will to write a lot every day, but desire is just it: desire. A year ago that this blog is to ies. Lets make an eort and try to keep it active. Today is a good day to start writing again. Writing much, every day.

5.1.2

My forgotten blogs (2009-06-04 00:22)

One day I questioned whether I really needed a blog. The answer comes in the form of facts. If they are needed or not does not matter. What matters is that I have six blogs misdeeds, treating a wide variety of subjects, all without depth and without any continuity. What to do? I think the solution is nish them. Finish all, except this. I can not be polyvalent.

5.1.3

Disenchantment of the rock (2009-06-04 00:52)

Rocknroll, for me, does not matter anymore. I do not like Frank Zappa anymore, or any band. 83

I dunno. Its over. I see a hairy guy, some rare laggard, one of the few remaining of the many who showed up for that last over, and he seems anachronistic, out of place, out of tune, out of the scheme of things. I think Ill change my CDs for a few books out there in somewhere old books store. Rock is out-of-date.

5.2
5.2.1

September
Fruitless plans (2009-09-16 21:42)

I just delete a link in my Favorites menu in Internet Explorer 8 (yes, Im already in the eighth version!). It is a page no longer exists. The subject was: Flyex 2008. Its a long and sad story. One day she will be counted. One day ...

5.2.2

Listbot (2009-09-16 21:55)

I have an old email from 1999, when I aliated as the ListBot, a sort of old database of e-mails. Today, no longer exists. I know that the Internet is dynamic, but everything related to computers is nostalgic, and it is surprising that it age so fast. Theres another email from the same period, which is a subscription to OneList. I clicked on the link [1]http://www.onelist.com/ and it directed to, well, you know where: Yahoo! Groups. The ListBot, well, was purchased by, well... Microsoft... There is a third email that remind me my eort to send my link to a lot of search engines pre-Google, is that where we had to inform the search engines about our existed sites and if they were in the air. Google killed it and a brazilian search engine, [2]http://www.aonde.com/ is to ies. I lost interest in being part of the generation that created the web. What discouraged me was the failure of the Dot Com in 2000. Internet seemed like magic, but did not , and still does not, make money in the short term. And I, a frustrated businessman, never risked nothing but a bit of my time in this leaky boat. I do not think I did wrong, but by no means cease to blame myself for lack of courage. All because of Steve Jobs. Speaking about her, our great Steve Jobs, unfortunately, seems to be to serious health problems and can not survive as Patrick Swaize, who died two days ago. Both victims of pancreatic cancer. Life goes leading the people. Well, Jobs once convinced a large executive of Pepsi, Sculley, to go to Apple. But that is another story. It is for later. I have my roast chicken dinner that my dear wife just bake. Life goes on in Ribeiro Preto! After I tell about Jobs and Sculley. 84

1. http://www.onelist.com/ 2. http://www.aonde.com/

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Chapter 6

2010
6.1
6.1.1

May
Apparently dead, but hibernating... (2010-05-15 02:11)

This blog is still alive. He is still alive because Im still alive, very alive and active, and keep it current, active, is only a matter of time and priority. Just this loved blog is no longer a priority for some time, but it is still important. I still need to register my ideas, my things, my words. But not today. Now its late, I have to rest and sleep. But tomorrow this blog will have the time and attention it deserves. I promise. Good night (and good luck ...)

6.1.2

six years (2010-05-17 09:08)

It may seem a lie, but true: this blog is on his 6 years old birthday. This is not a healthy blog, I must admit, but still in the air, though. Meanwhile, not too useful stu has been posted, and this is due more to my neglect than properly due to lack of the talking. But times are changing. The world is changing. Not so fast, but not so slowly. He is in his proper rhythm. More than for slow to fast. And nally, Im changing. But thats another story. In these six years much events has happened. Im still having lots of ideas, and old ones need to be polished yet. I do not writing in rhythm I like, but for a good reason: I was doing other more important things. My agendas(yes, there are many ...) continue to be lled with important scribbles. I keep reading so much and life has progressed. So this blog enters its sixth year with the expectation of receiving a healthier stream of posts than in previous years. Happy birthday and long life to me and him. And no more misery. 87

6.1.3

Exploring the world with ngers (2010-05-17 09:45)

It is true that a blog is not all. It is not a suitable environment for certain types of literary work of greater importance as an article or a book. So, I can not say that I am or will be faithful only to this blog. I must admit that I have written things and posted it on other sites more suitable for their intended purposes. I have posted things on [1]http://www.scribd.com/. The result has been modest, but honest. It also has something simple in [2]http://www.bookess.com/. And then theres something in the embryonic state, not yet posted on any site. Only small text in Word. But its a start. I have another two or three other blogs on specic topics scattered around, but stillborn. Unless ... Unless I reinfund it life. Blogs, after all, are not biological entities. They just stop, hibernate, but do not die or rot or smell, although may contain a lot of rot and rubbish. Well, I do not know yet, but I think I can x at least two of them. Moreover, I think I have been somewhat daring with regard to my participation on the web. Ive been better at it awhile ago, participating in interesting discussion forums and communities, especially in Orkut. I think the debate is always more exciting than a simple blog, because the feedback from board postings is faster and more personal. Blogs are not interactive, except for shares of commentators, which I think is very limited. A comment is far from the excitement of a real debate in a forum. Anyway, even in foruns and communitys my participation is reduced to almost nothing. It remains I take courage and return activities. After all, this is the demand of our time. Must be live the time, must makes the time and that makes it one time only. After all, we will leave and never return. We need to be remembered forever by the time we live. These are just a few decades, and time is running against us. Therefore, all ambition is not enough. We need to be vandals, barbarians, goths, mongols, and conquer all possible spaces, even if virtual. After all, this is the space that must be conquered. Explore the virtual world is the challenge of an era, and posterity will never forget those who paved the rst. Keyboard in hand, we must hit! Hitting is needed, not live!
1. http://www.scribd.com/ 2. http://www.bookess.com/

6.1.4

The dicult task of eternizing the past (2010-05-19 08:40)

I know its a very dicult task, but I at least started: tell the story of my past. Why? But why not? I start a text telling about my birthplace. This location is named Tujuguaba and is a village within the State of Sao Paulo, near Campinas, in Brazil. The text is still small and full of errors, but once I give it a polished, I will make available to the world, be it with ten or a hundred pages. It does not matter. But the thing is harder than it looks. 88

The reason for this diculty is that I know almost nothing about what happened before I existed. Just I do not know enough to answer my own curiosity, and I see no means of supplying this lack of knowledge. My past before me, I mean, past the place where I was born and where lived my distant relatives, I is not accessible. I left Tujuguaba when I was 14 years old and simply do not have any contact with anyone there. Even with my family. And every day that passes, has more probability that little that remains of that past is lost by the death of people who still have important memories to be recorded. What can I do? Nothing. It comes down to deductions based on what I know after I was born and the famous Internet searches. But the Internet is far from oering the ease of research I need for work of this type. The Internet records very well this time, but the past is out of their records. So I gather crumbs from those which came before me. Ah, but how would it be simpler if I could just talk to people ... But that no longer exists. It is true: the conversation is gone. I am a witness of this fact and say with all category this reality. No one else is available for a simple conversation that lasts more than ten or fteen minutes, more enjoyable or important that it is. The rush in the world swallowed us. People have commitments, need to do thousands of things at same time and the dialogue is not part of any list of priorities. Phone calls are expensive, and chats online are not even a shadow of what would be true talk in a room or kitchen, watered with cakes and cups of coee on a quiet afternoon in a common weekend. I will never forget the day I visited an elderly and widow aunt, and she just disappeared from her home to the street, because he had a third age meeting. He ran hastily in search of a dance or something and left us, me and her daughter, brooding recent memories, while she might be telling us beautiful and lost in time stories, inaccessible to Google and MSN and Orkuts and Facebooks of modern life . My aunt just did not have time to talk about the past. So, my record work goes by leaps, and as awed as an old comb. I think the best thing to do is ensure that what I experienced personally. It is true that there is nothing as old or spectacular, but I have unlimited access and is an available and reliable source. I still do not have to run to the dances of the best age...

6.2
6.2.1

July
Alternative theories (2010-07-17 17:35)

I like science. I like the surprises embedded in reasoning that are beyond the normal. So I decided to start a blog about science, but he did not prosper, as almost all blogs worldwide. He was called Alternative Theories and died with 69 visits, probably all mine. He began: September 9, 2009 89

Have you ever wondered if ... Imagine that everything that was said about something may be wrong. Written by Engels at 15:15 Engels was my nickname used in net forums out there. October 9, 2009 How are things Things really are as they are? There exists a God or not? The reality is as it seems to be? Science has answers to the questions above? What is man? What is the universe? We are able to understand it? These are metaphysical questions? Perhaps, but what exactly is Metaphysics? Is the universe confusing or simply we refuse to accept his almost childlike simplicity? Answering these questions and others require much thought, but can we venture to try to answer them? And why not do it, and why not right here? After all, we are in the midst of a technological revolution, and perhaps the debate on a global scale will help to clarify the confusion about what we know or we think to know. As a rst proposal, may wish to resume less complex questions. The question naturally tend to be increasingly larger over time. But what were our initial and simple doubts? Each one has his own doubts, and there is not always a commonality about what the most mundane questions over peoples lives. From my part, the rst question was a religious question. My rst big question was a simple question: even if the Bible is a holy book? This doubt, commonplace, ordinary, typical of a teenager in his meager eighteen years old excels in simplicity and could not be otherwise with a view look to my background. I, like so many millions of other human beings, a Brazilian citizen born in the second half of the twentieth century in Brazil, so far, a typical Catholic country. I was raised in the Catholic Church. So why the doubt? This is a simple matter, as we shall see. Written by Engels to 00h59 After that, I did not write anything else. Today I decided to exclude it from the blogosphere, because I can not keep it active. But the idea remains valid. So whenever I can post something about science here, on this blog, which is more consistent and durable. Goodbye, Alternative Theories.

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6.3
6.3.1

August
More doubts (2010-08-15 20:26)

As I said in previous post, I ended up with a blog called Alternative theories, because I think you can not keep a lot of blogs scattered around the net without continuity. It turns out that when I delete it, had still not posted a message, in draft form, yet unnished. Not to get rid of it, I nish and publish it now, because it deserves to be immortalized. Here: Saturday, October 10, 2009 The rst doubt Unlike Descartes, who preached the methodical doubt, I used a common question, because I did not know Descartes yet. My question was originated by practical activity. As a Catholic, always knew that prayer was a desirable thing. Communion with God should always be strengthened, because we men are weak creatures and need help from a higher being. As a Catholic, I learned to pray standardized prayers, and was oriented to usually do them at night, every day, before bed, in the silence of my room. When I left home, by the time I was eighteen, I began to suer the consequences of daily fatigue that tasks of adulthood provide all day, and asked myself the question: was it really necessary to pray every night without fail? Why pray had become a kind of uncomfortable obligation? Thus, ended my failed blog. You see, the blog has failed, but not the ideas that should be conveyed in it. Therefore, I must inform you that these ideas will be aired here in this blog, for good or evil of all, including my own. Now, it remains to nd a way into another failed blog, Cloroles. On second thought, when I decide post something about Cience or Ecology, I will remember these two old blogs. They will live here forever ...

6.3.2

Cloroles (2010-08-15 20:40)

I also started a blog about Ecology, which I called Cloroles. Despite the cool name, he did not prosper, as was expected. So, I decided to delete it now. For the two older posts of Cloroles not fall into the digital void, post them here, now, so that last ad innitum. Sunday, October 18, 2009 Cloroles This is a good place to talk about Ecology. Posted by Rosenvaldo Simoes de Souza at 17:46 This was the rst post, then the second and last: Sunday, October 18, 2009 A collection of vague problems 91

You turn on the television on the night of any day of the week and there they are, local and world news. Its inevitable. There are problems. Torrential rains never seen before ood towns everywhere. Youve never seen anything like it, and you can only conclude the obvious. Something very bad is happening, because it never rained so much. You also see a story about a terrible car accident at some busy road somewhere in the country. This happens every day and seems to have no end. Also, you conclude, there are so many cars! One limit is necessary, it seems clear. People can not have a car for each one . There is no space, there is no sucient streets, and there is no sucient education for all . All these cars can only end in accidents. And how much oil is burned! It is necessary to do something. But who? The government? But he hardly realizes the basics! His conscience weighs: you need to do something. But what? Walking only by feets? Use less electricity? Vote best? Educate yourself? Teaching someone less savvy? Act alone? Acting in a group? Being part of an ecological community? Yes, this might be the solution. After all, you do not know much about ecology, correct? You only realize the consequences of environmental problems that appear daily in the news, right? Which way to help? Yes, the communities! You go online and look for something about animals. You nd out Greenpeace and the World Wild Life. Youre convinced that gifts made with animals or animal parts such as skins, bones, hair, etc.., are not cool. You think the great Harrison Ford can not be wrong. You resolve to do your job. After all, you know nothing about Ecology, is not it? That his search for a environmental education community is perhaps his rst mistake and his rst hit. After all, what is a environmental education community ? Better: what exactly is Ecology? Let the facts. Posted by Rosenvaldo Simoes de Souza at 17:46 Seriously: is fascinating, is not it? So I will keep talking about ecology here on this blog, keeping in mind the ideas that could have been conveyed in Cloroles, but were not because you can not want to keep many sparse blogs. They do not working and do not thriving. Goodbye, Cloroles, but that come ecological ideas.

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6.3.3

Useless Philosophy (2010-08-16 18:03)

Once I said that my rst blog was on the IG site, and I never got around to posting anything there. Just created the blog and had nothing to say at that moment. I do not even remember the name of that blog, as soon dead at birth. Now, taking a look at some folders on my HD, I remembered him, and his name. Was Useless Philosophy. Why this name? Because at the time I was reading a lot about philosophy and thought it would be cool to create a blog to discuss certain issues, but went forward. Thus, it is hereby announced that it existed. See, its a good title consistent with the theme. I think the philosophy in general is always useless, although pleasant to discuss. So whenever I talk about something related to philosophy, the digital spirit of Useless Philosophy will be present.

6.3.4

Poor Zappa (2010-08-16 18:31)

I read old posts on this blog and much has changed in my life since the rst post in 2004. I still enjoy writing. Very. I also said that the rock is gone. Well, at least for me, I do not enjoy rocknroll today. And still looking for a reason to continue writing this blog, or whatever. But, thinking well, some things never change. What does not change is my love of writing and, as taste is taste, I can say that as time passes, I forgot the things that I wrote and then when I reread them, generally I like what I produce. You know, Im my most loyal reader. Thinking about it, I strongly recommend you read my writings, because they are good. I know they are good because Im a picky reader, and when I read someone text mine, old and forgotten, I like what I read. Its only reason I recommend my text to everyone. But Zappa was reminded twice these days, though I no longer heard him. He was remembered by me when I saw three dvds with their shows and movies that I knew existed, but until then I did not know were available in Brazil. All thanks to ... FNAC. Marketers say that a satised customer speaks well of a company for just three people, while a dissatised customer tells a bad company for thirty-three other people. This alleged data about consumer behavior may be true, but I refuse to be part of it. So, speak well about the companies and products that please me, and nothing about that disappoint me. Oh, that I necessarily leads me to my another blog (that, that, thats right, I had another blog lost out there yet), related to our consumerist habits, which I baptized Consumers! He, the blog, was born ... but he died. Stillborn. But I talking about him after. Now, talk about Zappa. Well, the second time that Zappa was remembered today was in the Saraiva Bookstore(yes, I live in bookstores!). As time passed, I saw a great book, of art, with ne nish, titled Too Young To Die, or something. It was about celebrities from dierent elds who have made fame and died earlier than normal. It is a tragic book, and I and my wife saw him with a mixture of curiosity and sadness. Not coincidentally, the book was organized in alphabetical order. Thus, the last name on the list was ... yes, with the letter Z. Frank Zappa died of prostate cancer at age 52. 93

Mr. Zappa, I can no longer be in a good rock stage, but I admire him, and you will live forever in the gallery of the great who died early, too early, too early, leaving a bitter and sad void... Lennon, Callas, Elvis, Cobain, Zappa, Michael, Diana, Mercury ... the list goes on. Here is my recognition and gratitude for all these people have existed and worked hard at what they set out to do and be, leaving a legacy that time will not erase. This blog salutes them!

6.3.5

The fate of the blogs (2010-08-16 18:53)

I have questioned the reason for the existence of blogs since a long time, and although did not reach a denitive conclusion, arrived at least to some partial conclusions. A blog can be used for a wide variety of interest. Now, one thing is certain: it is very dicult to nd time and energy to keep up more than a single blog. Keeping two blogs requires a damned determination, and in addition, with three or more blogs, you sure do not keep any of them based on date. Thinking about it, I decided to give a stop in my stuck blogs. But thats not all. One thing I learned is that writing a blog is dicult, but even harder is to make it popular. A blog, however updated it is, is no match in terms of attractiveness like a MSN or MySpace, Facebook or a news portal, like UOL or IG. People just come to a blog by chance, then nd it cool and move on. There is no reason for someone to be faithful to a blog, unless it is specialized in any subject. But this specialization is another tricky thing that deserves to be well studied. As always thought blogs confusing, though attractive, I decided to buy a book of an American author named Hugh Hewitt. His book is Blog - understand the revolution that will change your world. Ah, to not lose the habit, it is good to remember and recommend: bought it for a pittance in the book section of Wal Mart. Well, I read the whole book and learned a lot of interesting things to comment here in future, but doubts remain yet. Just know that I gradually putting an end in my old blogs, posting here whats left of them and simplifying my life. Useless Philosophy, and Alternatives Theories and Cloroles already ended. Now, there is, well ... let me see ... I must have another four or ve lost blogs and sites out there. By the way, before blogs we had to make do things with dry sites, which we created in raw html, or with FrontPage. Well, my rst site was [1]Metamorphose. It was a site with thousands of jokes and some comic texts that I invented, a littlemuzzy, but in the air until today. On second thought, they are already in the air too long. Soon, Ill post here some of Metamorphose jokes and over time, give an end to it too. I think the fate of the blogs to serve as a dumping ground for old sites and old ideas. I think its a good use, though. So let the jokes...
1. http://rosenvaldo-ss.sites.uol.com.br/

6.3.6

Metamorphose: the facts (2010-08-16 20:30)

My rst site was [1]Metamorphose. I created him in a common text editor, in Notepad, using my nails, using basic commands of HTML language. I learned a few things and I stop in it. One of the little things I learned was that a website in pure html is rapidly exhausting if you do not undergo 94

changes from time to time. But, then, to change a whole lot of html tags was a very complicated thing. Then I thought of a way to create sites that were simple to upgrade, because there were not even the easy technology of blogging. So I ended up giving a CSS researched and found reasonable, but insucient. Then I thought about programming sites, something like javascripts and nally found Zope, but it was enough. All very complicated and consuming much time. One day I will talk this arid and technical but fascinating, matter about programming to internet sites. I created few content for this site. It was something kind of adolescent, but I put a hit counter on it and for almost eight years I followed their evolution. The thing was simply too slow and random, that is, the visits were pure chance. I never made any disclosure at all. I studied business administration and always liked the subject, as always been interested in marketing. But everything I knew about business and marketing was about real companies, before the Internet era. Few things of marketing experience real work well in practice when applied in the virtual world. But for me one thing is certain: it is not easy to make a bad site or blog moving forward. This is a golden rule and it is very dicult to follow, because very few people actually have something useful or interesting to say to the world. Thus, few sites can a signicant number of siteviews, while to do a lot of online or oine advertising. People simply dismiss bad blogs just as discard bad products and services in real life, either because they are no good or because they somehow do not matter. So what Metamorphose proposed to oer? He proposed to provide humor. Now, you immediately say: how can such a boring guy named Rosenvaldo to write or produce humor? He must be kidding ... But still, I posted my hundreds, thousands jokes, and they were in the air for eight years, and seen by tens, hundreds people during that time. Look: Metamorphose aired on August 19, 2001 and was last updated on April 06, 2008. In fact, it was almost entirely done in 2001 and only had a few links embedded in 2008. At the moment I write these words, Metamorphose counter brand 1002 visits, and a good part of these visits is mine, because the counter does not know who enters and tells the whole visit, including me, as a new visit. Thus, reinforcing what I said in previous post: I am my most fan and assiduous reader. My stats tracking a bad site as Metamorphose suggest that he received on average one visit every two days. Thats too few, because in fact it does not mean that a visit would represent a real person reading the contents of the site. A person can simply click on a link by chance and fall into it, and leave immediately, without reading anything, cursing the loss of time. My deleted blogs were no better. Alternative Theories and Cloroles were never released, and ended with 76 and 13 visits in counters, respectively. Negligible numbers, although they could suggest good content. If a visitor on the other hand, felt attracted by the subject, I disappointed him, because I could not keep blogs with new posts. Thus, it is another lesson: even a cool content needs to be updated and released. People can not be coming to your blog every day hoping that you have published something new. They get tired and move on. But I learned some cool tricks in html, so that it was not a lost experience. Now, what are these tricks, is for another post. The fact is that Metamorphose was unsuccessful. That was his opening logo (horrible, by the way): 95

[2]
1. http://sites.uol.com.br/rosenvaldo-ss/ 2. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_klzN8DvHxfE/TGoA0IXqxyI/AAAAAAAAAG0/RmwDvsaGPmc/s1600/metamorphose.gif

6.3.7

The online marketing (2010-08-17 18:39)

Ive been taking a look at my blog and I have seen a series of images in certain posts. However, as an honest guy I am, I have sinned in not noting where I got the images. Copy and paste is nice, but people who provide content on the internet also want credit for their work and eorts and that includes the due recognition of authorship of texts, photos, drawings and anything else that no belong to us. So I apologize if Im using something that was created by you, the reader. Well, I make this observation because today, in order to make an exchange of visits between blogs, just entering a community on Orkut called [1]Promote your blog. Here there are about 13,700 members and works on the basis of divulgation, visits, comments in chain, and just entering a blog of a fellow named Maatheus, [2]http://www.variedadesinf.blogspot.com/, and I recommend him to identify his sources of information, since he was certain that he was not directly responsible for the news that stood on the blog. I think the hint applies to all bloggers who get information borrowed from others. Its always good to cite sources, and the tip goes for me too. Just to do not looks like a boring guy, I will talk about a subject that is do not have expertise , and Ill test a new form of exchange of visits: the synchronized texts. Then Ill explain better what this idea. Lets see what happens ...
1. http://www.orkut.com.br/Main#Community?cmm=44420097 2. http://www.variedadesinf.blogspot.com/

6.3.8

Defend yourself ! (2010-08-18 21:23)

I am an ordinary citizen, and I am subject to the same types of violence to which they undergo all Brazilians every day. But even so I thought I should not make things easier for banditry. I think Bandit is opportunistic and does not like hard work by denition. So, I always tried not to let things easy for them. But one day they gave lucky and I ended up being robbed. It was a horrible experience and I took all the measures which I thought important to avoid further problems. I am a person who is detail oriented. I do not like unpleasant subjects such as urban violence, banditry and their causes, the inuence of drugs and poor culture in generally on the increase all forms of violence, anyway, I always preferred to do my part and avoid risks without going into the merits of causes and possible solutions to the problem of violence in the world in general, but after being robbed, things like death penalty, car theft, drug use, gang formation, began to interest me, at least for a while. Today I am not quite so intensely interested in this stu, but do not neglect the events and ways of prevention. So at the time of the assault, I searched on violence prevention. It was disappointing that so little talk about it on the internet. People just choose to ignore that there is a real big problem lurking at all. If you 96

want to draw your own conclusion about it, think of it in this way: have you been the victim of some kind of violence? If not, you are very lucky. Pray to this luck continues in your side, but anyway, try to prevent. The odds of being a victim for the rst time is greater as each day passes and is best not to rely solely on luck. Now, it you have been the victim of theft, assault, rape, kidnapping, blackmail by phone, or any other form of contemporary violence and genuinely Brazilian, think again: if there was a wide and general education on the subject, you could have avoided event in which you became a victim? Think, for example, that instead of losing two hours in any one year seeing a reprise of soap opera or a football match on television, you had seen a documentary with tips for preventing violence displayed by experts in this matter, such as police investigators, jailers and repentant ex-felons? This subject is large and painful, but rarely discussed. I thought in researching the subject and create a blog with compilation of safety tips covering basic principles and actual cases. So, I created the blog Defend Yourself!. But I am no expert on the subject, and the internet is lacking in this theme, and Id be hurting more than helping by giving tips on a subject in which I am no expert. I chose to leave him. But I intend to post the ve or six texts that I provided in the air, lest they fall into oblivion. The theme is, unfortunately, current and urgent. Today, watching the news, I could not avoid noticing two news warning of the escalating violence in large cities. This rise was expected and even inevitable, nothing is done to alert the defenseless population. Here is registered my concern with the subject and my initiative in order to alert the ordinary people about what they can do to make life dicult for criminals, since we can not eliminate them, nor there are enough prisons for them. I will return later to discuss the issue of violence in this blog, but I anticipate the suggestion to everyone. If youre a security professional, do your part and help in educating the society. Teach basics of security, which is not limited to not let thegarage light on during periods of travel, or ask your neighbor collect your mail when on vacation and the like. We need to be realistic about the facts: thugs are dangerous, ruthless, unfeeling and incorrigible. Defend yourself!

6.3.9

A blog with a mission (2010-08-18 21:35)

That was my rst post in blog Defend Yourself!. April 02, 2008 A blog with a mission If you think that what matters is tomorrow, then know that to get to the future, it is rst necessary to survive to the present day. This is not an easy task. Not today. Therefore, rst of all any cautious person should doing your homework and stay safe, and should also promote the safety of your family. Helping people to defend themselves is the mission of this blog. Written by Rosenvaldo Simoes de Souza at 18:37

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6.3.10

Unpleasant surprises (2010-08-18 21:49)

This was the second post in blog Defend Yourself! April 03, 2008 Unpleasant surprises People are always full of dreams. Most of them spends much time thinking and acting in pursuit of things that only happen in the future. It is true that many dreams will never be realized, but this is not a real problem. Dreams come and go. It does not matter. One thing is certain: to live as much as possible is a direct of all, even a duty. It is a right that nobody should question or violate, but unfortunately the real world does not work that way. And then, as you strive to work, saving every penny, do the right things the right way, comes the unexpected and brutal threat. What threat is this? And were you prepared, at least mentally, to respond to this threat? Probably not. That trip of dreams can turn into a nightmare of life or death because of a simple at tire in wrong time, in the wrong place. That delicious beach can also hide a sneaky thief who takes his wallet and makes her tan smile turning a look of pain and despair. You go out to buy bread at the bakery next door and not even notice, but forgot the window open. Once back into the house, whistling, without realizing a gure that runs from the kitchen to the backyard, with a revolver in his hand. You talk cheerfully with his favorite girlfriend in a nice restaurant in a pleasant evening. When it comes to where you left the car, he seems to have evaporated. And you search him, sure you are in the wrong location. But no way. The broken glass in the oor denounce the crime. You were robbed. And now? Are you prepared to respond these unpleasant surprises? If not, you should think better in the way your life has taken. Whatever your dreams and future plans, they are too precious to be jeopardized by a negligent attitude that you take here, now, in this present. A defensive vision of the world can make dierence? We believe so, but if you are not convinced, we can understand your way of thinking. Gradually, we will treat objections, but for now, its good you know that the neglect your safety is a mistake too expensive to be done very often. Sometimes a single error may be the last. Written by Rosenvaldo Simoes de Souza at 9:35 a.m.

6.3.11

An innocent life (2010-08-18 21:58)

This was the third post in blog Defend Yourself!: April 04, 2008 98

An innocent life It is a fait accompli that we spent much of his life under all kinds of threat from risks. When we are born, we are fragile and only survived because we are protected by the world around us. The rst lessons we learned, when we are in our infancy yet, is that we should not do this, we should not touch it, we can not go to that place, and that the world is a dangerous place. A few more years, and we go to school to learn to read, write and add up, but we keep hearing the same recommendations. Do not talk to strangers, be careful when crossing the street, watch your step, beware with stairs, do not leave without warning, do not eat anything that does not know the origin, stay out of trouble. Then, when we are teenagers, we began to challenge all these lessons. And later yet, we think we are prepared adults and stop worrying. The big message that will be etched in our minds is this: It will not happen to me We do not stop to think is we are adults only because we have careful people around us, safe institutions where we attend, healthy homes and environments where we could grow fairly smoothly. It is also true that not everyone had these conditions, but if a person grew up in a dangerous environment, then much of the credit for being alive as an adult is due more to luck than to any other skill. An adult can never forget that times have changed. At the time when we were kids, life was easier. There were so many people in the world. The values were not so damaged. There was some social control. Today, things are innitely more dicult. Accept that life before was easier also means accepting that the carefree way in which we were created is no longer valid for today. In other words, accept that the world is more dangerous today than yesterday means admitting that we were not educated to deal with the risks of today. And if we admit that we are not prepared for the risks of today, so how did can we survive? Again, we should not attribute the success to any personal merit. Basically, we survived without being prepared more due to luck than anything else. But this situation can be changed. Maybe theres a lot of things you can learn along the time, but the most important lesson that should break the blurred glass that not allow us to see the reality. And that broken pane will show that there are risks, yes, and many. The lesson would be something like: If it happens to others, it can happen to me too Admit that the sentence above is correct may be an excellent new beginning. Accept it simply may save your life. Written by Rosenvaldo Simoes de Souza at 10h51

6.3.12

To get to tomorrow (2010-08-29 16:51)

This was the fourth post in blog Defend Yourself!: April 07, 2008 To get to tomorrow To get to tomorrow, we need to survive today. This statement may seem trite, trivial and innocent, but is not. Do you agree with her with all the force of his reason? If you have small children, should dream of one day seeing them big, healthy and happy. You do your best to 99

everything goes well with your job, to do not miss the income for savings to college for children, but leaves open a bottle of insecticide, a bare wire, a window cracked. What child has never had a domestic accident in life? The statistics are frightening. Children need security. We adults often think more in the future than at present. We neglect small things. We put in risk our future and our family when we focus too much on material, nancial and social security but forget physical security. Accidents at home are very common things. Should not be. We should have a minimum of security in our homes on a day-to-day. Of course we care for the health of children. But accidents happen. The excess of accidents of all kinds, with innocent children, healthy adults and frail elderly shows that people are not prepared to protect each other, even when there is not any threat from outside our homes. We were not raised to be wary. Our culture does not teach us to keep us alert to possible risks to our physical integrity. And if we think about it, we see that in a situation of physical insecurity, not worth much any social, economic, nancial and material security available. Break an arm and all the resources of the world can only remedy the consequences of injury. It is true that you could avoid having a broken arm, and without investing a single penny of your nancial security. The prevention often costs nothing, because, as we shall see, it depends much more on our way of thinking than the use of physical mechanisms to protect us. A health plan can do nothing to prevent a child, a bottle of alcohol and a match to end badly. So you need to assimilate this truth: your future plans, whatever they are, depend on your eort to remain physically intact today. You can nd a way to repair that broken window that threatens to fall on the bed of someone at any moment? Imagine a loved child with a gash caused by a shard of glass from a window cracked. You may not get to tomorrow if you are not physically secure today. To get to tomorrow, you and your loved ones must be physically intact. Think of your physical body as something valuable that must be constantly protected by a dome, a force eld. Everything that surrounds you can reach it, unless this force eld is turned on. This force eld is his alert mind, which scans constantly and tirelessly, every day, every day, the possible threats to their physical integrity, whether real or potential. This mentally alert is trained to see future risks where now there is only a remote possibility of problems, but you know it, the force eld, your defensive shield, ashes a red light always senses something wrong. This is the time to act. This is the time to take action. When the red light comes on, its time to make provision against damage that does not interest us. A ashing light should always have this meaning: a threat that can endanger an entire wonderful future ahead. Not worth putting plans and dreams for the coming decades at risk just because you do not have the time or courage to act now. But if you want, just relax. Bad things do not happen to you. Only with others. Written by Rosenvaldo Simoes de Souza at 12h32

6.3.13

Longevity (2010-08-29 16:54)

This was the fth post in blog Defend Yourself!: April 08, 2008 Longevity 100

If we think about that every morning we wake up in our beds, we are actually survivors of yesterday, so the longer we live, more we prove our competence to survive. If so, then a proof that you are doing well and surviving, despite the problems, is your age. How much you are old, more competence you have. Of course, competence is not cumulative. It mean, a person does not accumulate skills to survive, because the chances of problems are so great that there is no experience in the world can protect someone from everything. When we are young we do not know a lot of things that can help protect us. So were most vulnerable. Insofar as we gain experience of life, we learn to avoid problems and increase our chances of life. But this increase of chances has a limit. We must remember that some risks are constant and independent of our experience. For example, everyone should look at both sides of the street before crossing it. This is basic and we all learn it since we were small children. But experience teaches that even in one-way street should look at both sides and not just to one side, because theres always the risk of something coming in the opposite direction. Very well. Although an adult can learn this more sophisticated rule, he must look at both sides anyway. Knowledge must be followed by action. He can not be neglected just because he knows more than someone younger than him. His experience does not immunize him against things crossing in the wrong way. This leads to an accumulation of rules so that helps explain why older people are so conservative, fearful and wary. Over time, they accumulate so many rules of safety and survival that simply overwhelm their actions and plans. Simply not worth the risk for them to do things that most younger people do. Another consideration to make is that the risks are always dynamic. The threats of yesterday can be known and avoided, but the present always provides us new problems. Thus, it is not enough to assimilate the lessons of the past. You need to accumulate knowledge about current risks. You must know what is happening today. The threats are not necessarily cumulative, but tend to increase. Something that was a risk to our grandparents may not be a risk for us today, but probably still is, perhaps on a smaller scale. We will see later as time passes, the world population growth, degradation of social values and development of technology has created a better world in certain aspects, but also generated threats that our grandparents are unable to assimilate. The lesson to be learned is that the world of yesterday may have been simpler and easier to live, but we can not belittle the achievements of a person who has lived for decades in a safe and quiet way. It is true that there are factors such as gender, income, inheritance, education and location, among others, which aect the chances of a person survive, but certainly an elderly of today should be seen as a survivor. The next time you have the opportunity to talk with any of them, ask about how the security was fty years ago. Probably you will hear that life was easier, but probably also hear stories of heroism, bravery, courage, suering, pain, perseverance and luck that will leave you amazed. Longevity can really even be a matter of luck, but it certainly is rst of all a question of love for life. Written by Rosenvaldo Simoes de Souza at 12h08

6.3.14

Dangerous times (2010-08-29 16:57)

This is the sixth post in blog Defend Yourself!: April 09, 2008 Dangerous times 101

Are older people right when they say they lived in much more secure and peaceful past? This is not an easy question to answer because on the one hand it seems obvious that many problems we face today are the result of a lifestyle, a culture and a technology that did not exist a few decades ago, on the other, an optimist person might argue that we are being partial. In fact, this same technology has done wonders in terms of security. We can not deny these advances, but can we restrict the advances only to technology? Also would we been partial? In part, yes. There have been advances in education that have improved our culture and lifestyle. Before people had less access to better quality education. There is a link between education and safety? Apparently yes. Although the culture itself can not be considered a pure form of formal education, safety culture does not seem a reality. Rather. What we see is a culture of violence. So on the one hand today we have more formal education accessible, but we have an indirect form of cultural learning that points to a contrary direction. And there is something behind this culture that we call lifestyle. Are theremore risks in current lifestyle? No doubt, yes. The lifestyle is now much more based in large groups, mobility, daring, risk-controlled and almost dangerous adventures. There is an early maturing youth and a sexualization of behaviors that is not necessarily a bad thing, but anticipates risks to an age group that is not yet prepared to face it. So, are our grandparents correct? We can say that in part, yes. They no had an advanced medicine to protect them, but did not have so many thugs in the streets, so many human contact that provides a friction is not always healthy. They no had the news in rst hand from internet and television, but they were not forced to watch terrible scenes between a range and other of the newscast. On second thought, each time brings his challenges, and this discussion will not make our world better just because we are discussing the subject. On the one hand we can not go back in time, on the other, we can try to recreate what was lost, but it was good. This is a sensible eort. We can not never do certain things, but we can do others. Anyway, we survived from the past. The risk is now. Can we at least learn something about the risks of the past? Can we really learn to live safely? This is the real issue. Written by Rosenvaldo Simoes de Souza at 12h56

6.3.15

Adherence to rules: your personality help you? (2010-08-29 16:59)

This was the seventh post in blog Defend Yourself!: April 10, 2008 Adherence to rules: your personality help you? Living safely means that you and your family should act according to certain rules that really provide security. However, the adhesion of people in general rules often not very large. 102

A security rule is not a statutory requirement. There is no law requiring a person to follow it, except in some cases, such as trac laws, possession of weapons, consumption of certain substances and the protection the State and adults should provide to other people, like children, women, elderly and physically handicapped people. Therefore, a security rule, however obvious and simple that it, can not be imposed. Try, for example, require any person to look at both sides of the street. It is simply not possible. Even the legal security are not realistic in relation to consequences of their violations. I mean, there are certain rules that exist by law, but which are not fullled. However, make it be fullled is a task almost impossible to be accomplished. Violations of these rules are dicult to prove and therefore hardly punishes the breach. Are rules without punishment only innocuous rules? Many of them are, but the safety rules are often more to serve as a warning then exactly something to be strictly followed. People, after learning about them, come to realize that there is a concern or a real risk with a certain subject. We all realize that probably we will not be punished if we do not comply them, but we come to know that there is some risk involved in breaches them. For example, there in our Trac Code a restriction on the occupants of a vehicle to ow with the arms out of windows. This is a rule wich is clearly dicult to control. So many people do not give a damn about her. Some people know they will not be punished for any monitoring. On the other hand, many people came to realize that there is indeed a real risk of letting one arm out. What is this risk? Only after hearing some sad stories of broken arms by motorcycles at high speed is that some people start to worry about it. So, we went to the point that interests us. The vast majority of safety rules are not written, or codied, nor are in laws, nor take the oenders to be ned. But all, without exception, point to a potential risk if we violate them. Respecting or violating safety rules is a matter of how willing a person is to remain alive and safe. A person may violate many rules and survive without a scratch. But sometimes a single violation of an ordinary simple rule can mean instantaneous death. Trampling is a clear sign that even a simple rule like look both ways before crossing a street is neglected. Is adherence to rules a matter of personality? Yes. What turns a certain person to be methodical, disciplined and hardworking in relation to rules in general? What leads another person to be lazy, sarcastic and cynical, indolent and procrastinator, irresponsible and insensitive when the matter is preservation of human life? This is a disturbing question. You, in your intimate, you know how you feel about rules in general and about the security rules in particular. How are you? Admit that you are exactly what you are maybe is a good start. If you do not like to be like you are, then it is time to change. Written by Rosenvaldo Simoes de Souza at 12:43

6.3.16

Rules and more rules (2010-08-29 17:04)

This was the eighth post in blog Defend Yourself!: April 22, 2008 103

Rules and more rules It is true that we already live in a society where there are too many rules. Consult a lawyer and will know that there are millions of legal articles prohibiting or allowing almost everything. After all, we still have social rules and work rules, rules at home and in institutions. Simply we not live without rules. Rules imply learning. You can not talk about rules without proper implementation. They exist to be fullled. So, if we not fullled them, we must learn to obey them. Failure usually involves punishment. A security rule is something subtle and almost transparent. Disobeys them implies something almost pleasurable, because when we disobey them, we get rid of the burden that is respect them day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute. However, we must not forget that they bit hard when we overlook them. A security rule, a survival rule, does not require a written law to enforce. No one is prohibit to walk at dawn in a bad neighborhood using expensive jewelry and lots of money in your pocket. But almost everyone knows the risks. You break a safety rule and the chance you go punished by error is very large. Because they are hard, the punishments are of course educational. A person who neglects a security rule and suers some kind of problem for this neglect will be going through an experience almost always painful, violent, traumatic and frightening. This experience will serve as a learning. A normal person who learn a lesson by this method dicult to commit a second mistake. This is not a widely recommended method, we must admit. If safety rules are even relentless, follow them implies a constant monitoring. This state of constant attention inevitably generates a high level of stress. There is no doubt: much of modern chaos is due to this high level of stress coming from the constant state of alert in which people live. Surviving in a large urban center is not an easy task. Hence, people living in cities are much more nervous and stressed that those who live in quiet and less violent places. So we live a dilemma: if we observe the safety rules we live under stress. If we do not observe them, sooner or later we will be victims of accidents, violence, aggression or crimes. The condition of the victim will end up generating a burst of stress, and trauma of a bad event will take anyone to a situation of near-paranoia, seeking not to suer again another bad event. But there is no doubt. The stress from observing rules is far less than the stress from pick up the pieces after being victimized by a bad experience. So we can only be conformed to this reality and make the task of observing safety rules experience less stressful as possible. But how? The answer lies in learning. For now, it is enough to know that a well-learned rule is a rule easier to follow. If by chance you do not agree with this understanding, talk to any person who has suered from violence of any kind, whether accidental or criminal. Ask about the trauma and the time this person took to overcome the crisis, if he really overcome in fact. Learn by pain will always be the worst way of learning. Written by Rosenvaldo Simoes de Souza at 16h51

6.3.17

The circle of reciprocal protection (2010-08-29 17:07)

This was the ninth post in blog Defend Yourself!: April 23, 2008 104

The circle of reciprocal protection It would be great if we could limit to care of our own personal safety. This, by itself, is not an easy task. But in real life, we must care for more people besides us. In addition to we keeping us alert against all kinds of dangers, we have to look for others yet. We can deny this truth? We can. But it is a right attitude? Every man for himself and God to look for others? No. We simply can not. We live in the community and the vigilance task is a task in two-way. We care for us and for people around us and people around us care for them and for us, even we do not realize this kind of surveillance. Selshness in safety is a serious problem and must be fought with great severity and diligence. It is a cultural heritage that must be unlearned. It is not just a matter of caring for the weak. It is not just a matter of protecting women, seniors and children. The concept of circle of protection goes beyond that. We look for us, but when we are on alert, we see potential risk involving other people. These other people in general are people from our midst. They are relatives, neighbors, co-workers. But without realizing it, we do more than simply protecting known people. Someone alert can protect a unknown person and may in turn be protected by someone who does not know him. The concept of circle of reciprocal protection involves a maturing of our selsh and individualistic personality. We have a natural tendency to think that we can not change the world and therefore do not act when we could act. Overcome the barrier of individualism in security is a fundamental step in improving our quality of life and the people around us. If well implemented, the concept can even improve the quality of security of people who we will never cross again in the remains of our lives. Who does not know at least one story of an anonymous hero who appears from nowhere and tells us to take care, stay alert, advising us to avoid a certain place, or we take some action, or to protect ourselves to some risk ? We can be this anonymous hero for someone who, for a moment of distraction, can be in danger. We choose, however, cowardice and failure, selshness and laziness. What do you choose? Written by Rosenvaldo Simoes de Souza at 20h29

6.3.18

The learning process (2010-08-29 17:10)

This was the tenth and last post in Defend Yourself! In time: the counter never showed more than a few dozen visits, all mine, and no one has posted any comments. April 24, 2008 The learning process 105

Living safely means learning certain habits and unlearn some others. Is the learning process in safely possible or feasible? Yes, the process is possible. We can learn rules and safety procedures as we learn a lot of other things. It may be a little slow for some people, or even dicult for others, but there is nothing in the process itself that makes it dierent from any other learning process. Is the learning process in safety feasible? It is feasible only to the extent that has been encoded. I mean, like any learning process, a rule or safety procedure should be studied and organized in order to attend the basic principles of learning. But in this feature our modern culture fails painfully. Think in computers and how dicult is to operate them for someone who never approached one of them. However, it seems commonplace for experienced users. The dierence between a beginner and an experienced user is simply that the experienced user has gone through a learning process that made him able to understand the use of a computer. The same is true with any kind of knowledge. In terms of safety, perhaps the best prepared people to use safety procedures are the people who work with the hypothesis of violence. They are the military and civilian police, the military armed forces, private bodyguards, the federal police, security bank, the night watchmen, employees of companies wich transport high values objects and money, reghters, among others. These professionals are trained to be able to adopt eective security procedures, and use weapons and security equipment, but initially, they are people who know nothing about it until you receive the proper training. What training is that? In fact, there is not only a single workout, but a set of them. So what learn these professionals wich that in fact become professionals, not amateurs with uniforms, batons and guns? What learn they that we, ordinary citizens, can also learn? What can they teach us? Who can teach us? Is feasible a mass learning process that makes people so familiar with security actions that the process will really make a dierence in quality of life for its users? These are important questions that deserve an appropriate response. Written by Rosenvaldo Simoes de Souza at 13h57

6.3.19

Liking Paulo Coelho (2010-08-30 22:41)

I just saw an interview with Paulo Coelho, in Rede TV!, with Kennedy Alencar. Well, maybe I even do not like something in his books, but I like him, denitely. Actually, Im being unfair. I read only one book of his, The Alchemist, and thinking well, is not a bad story. In fact, by the time I read it, around 1996, I did not like especially his literary style, which was not as rich as a Victor Hugo or a Proust. I did not know that he actually does not care for literary styles. At the time I thought that I could easily write by myself the same book in a much more elegant way. But to think something is one task, but to do this something is another task, very dierent. The truth is that, well or poorly written, with elegance or not, Paulo Coelho has conquered the world and it is worthy of all credit. Seeing him, I think the great work that he did to become the writer who is in a country 106

that read books very little. But he did more than this: his books are read worldwide. I always say that if I had a basket to put only ve or six Brazilians living and worthy of being admired for his achievements, I would include Paulo Coelho in the group. Who else? No matter now. Paulo Coelho has the right place among Brazilians who I like and admire. Of course, in the basket is not always necessary to get people that I necessarily have to like it, but it does not matter. I like Paulo Coelho. But Paulo Coelho himself explains this change in my taste. Actually, the thing has more to do with Raul Seixas, who with Paulo Coelho. Everyone in Brazil who likes rocknroll and spent his adolescence in the 80s knows that Raul Seixas was a controversial guy. But I wonder if this whole legion of ex-teens knew at the time that Raul Seixas, a man already established in the 70s, was our dear Paulo Coelho as a partner of letters. So I had a certain dislike for Raul Seixas and his fans, but what annoyed me were the letters of Paulo Coelho, wish in that time I did not know they were write by Paulo Coelho. When Paulo Coelho has emerged as a writer of ction novels with spiritual feature, I was in other places, learning to write my own stu. I disdained his simple way of writing. Now, I admire him, the man, although I admit I never read anything about him other than The Alchemist. But he, the man, has also changed. Talking about drugs in this same interview, he did it with a transparent honesty. And he surprised me to say that under current conditions, he was against the liberation of drugs such as cocaine. He deemed himself as having conservative opinions. Now, my dear Paulo Coelho, theres nothing wrong with being conservative. Not that thou are conservative: is that you are a ambulant metamorphosis. If so, then I am also this ambulant metamorphosis. Maybe I will read his books, maybe not. We have common interests. Although we are of places and of dierent generations. I also love writing. I love books. I admire sincerity and believe in almost everything that I can not see, from Aleph to Christ. There are truths that do not require evidence. And it seemed to me at some point thou were speaking of something dierent in a dierent language, it was a slight mistake, excusable to young men, naturaly arrogant. We speak the same language and about the same signs, just it. Things tend to converge to a center where everything makes sense. So I wish long life and success to this brave, who armed only with his enormous willpower and hard work, could prove to himself that he can make the rain fall on the desert. And wasnt there someone before us that said that faith could move mountains? Id rather be ... I prefer ... I choose ... I decide ... like Paulo Coelho! Now, faith!

6.4
6.4.1

September
Zago: Online! (2010-09-22 21:39)

After 14 years in limbo, nally I managed to get my little and loved book Zago, complete online. It was a hard work, and lacked commitment on my part, but now its done. I wrote it in 1996 directly in Word, but we have so many problems in life that nally I was only with the paper version, which no one reads and no wonder. Now, slowly, I hope the people aware of it, and are taking notice of Neurons in Fury! and Six Simple Poems. 107

Id like to write more, but it is impossible. Writing is impossible ... Yes, my friends, writing is a human act almost impossible. Oh, if you know Zago, use Google: nd my name ... Zago is in Scribd and Bookess. Long live Zago!

6.5
6.5.1

October
Consumers (2010-10-07 18:54)

Once day I thought writing a blog about consumption. Not that the idea was original. No. There in the United States, at least Ive heard about it, there are magazines that specialize in testing products for popular consumption and then put expert opinion or simple consumer praising, criticizing, or simply giving opinions about what they consumed. My idea was to post my impressions on the site about what I would consume, but, as always, the idea went no further. I created the blog on UOL, posted two small, minimal text and lost a darn time ddling with templates and other tries, and he remained in the air from April to September 2008. He remained with only two posts and received only ve external visits. A failure. One more failure. But, to not say that theres nothing left of it, I post here, as a kind of obituary, the two small text les that existed for this brief period. They are: Consumers, a blog for consumers You like to consume? This is your blog. And: Consuming since the uterus We are born consumers and can not deny this fact. There are many people twisting the nose for consumerism, but still consuming things that are to be consumed in this world. There is simply no way for non-consumption. Even a hermit uses the gifts of nature. We consume from the womb. We do not stop consuming even after death. What are the things we consume? What criteria do we use to consume what we consume? Perhaps these questions are quite personal, but the exchange of experience is nonetheless an interesting thing. So, go ahead. But we ended up not going ahead. Farewell then, Consumers, the blog that was to be for all consumers, but that turned out to be nothing at all.

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6.5.2

My MP3 (2010-10-07 19:13)

A few years ago I posted here that liked to listen to Frank Zappa. Then I posted that I do not hear more rock. Let the facts: I still hear music? Yes, I still hear music, and quite. I live traveling and while enjoying for long hours my music on my MP-3. So if someone came and asked me what Ive been listening, I would say: - Well, in my MP-3 you can nd Pavarotti, the soundtrack of the movie Batman Begins by Hans Zimmer, the soundtrack of the movie Letters from Iwo Jimma, the soundtrack of the movie Star Wars Episode IV, by John Williams, more a collection of thirteen songs by John Williams composed for motion pictures and still Laura Pausini and Andrea Bocelli. But it has also Rene Flaming and Brin Terfell with Under the Stars, and a compilation called Classicals 2009, with several famous musicians and performers such as Pavarotti, Carreras and Domingo, Sarah Brightman, among others, playing a lot of known works. I love Chi Mai, by Morriconi. It also has Emma Shapplin with Carmino Meo, very good to hear. Finally, there is Backstreet Boys with his Backstreet Boys and Millenium. Yeah, I heard Mussorgsky, Richard Strauss and Carmina Buranna of Orf. Rock? Well, theres Bon Jovi. Viva Bon Jovi!

6.5.3

About the things I wrote (2010-10-14 20:20)

I said in my rst post in this blog I write a lot, every day. It is not true. I wish I could write all day, but I can not. I have much to do, although this to much does not mean its necessarily more important than writing. Much of what I do is trivial, but still, the banalities are important part of life. Still, writing is not the most important thing I do in life, denitely. Anyway, we should not now discuss why I do not write every day. It just convenient to make a summary of what I wrote. So, after this overview, I have a real idea of how much I write and how much I wrote. In retrospect, it seems little. Looking from another angle, it seems like a lot. I started writing when I was literate, at preschool. But nothing remains of that era. I have a few books in high school, and I confess that I did not even look at them in search of some writing or text that was my original authorship. Maybe there are some. It would be interesting to read them to see the young man I was, or what I thought a long time ago. Whats sure is that from July 1987 I started to write enough letters to my family, because this time I left home and went to the barracks, and then even use the phone was something forbidding. So, I used a lot of paper and pen to communicate with my family and some dear friends. Well, I have kept dozens of these letters since that time. I keep them as precious, and I want to scan them and save them in digital format for posterity. I think this a very cool thing to read about what we thought about old joys and old problems, now all resolved and forgotten. As life goes on! I started writing hard in the barracks, in writing courses. The methods adopted were the most stringent possible, and interestingly, did awaken in me the creativity and dreams. I then proceeded to write short stories, small annoyances, which served as entertainment for my brother as I nished my course in military training and went to work at an air base. There were dozens, perhaps hundreds of absurd short stories. 109

In the end, I put it all together and created a book whose more appropriate name to be given was Neurons in Fury!. Never had the courage to show it to anyone, but my brother liked nonsense and showed few stories to my friends of youth. Finally, I ended up passing the text from paper to computer and now Neurons in Fury! is available for the whole world, for free, in two very popular sites: Scribd and Bookess. I have not stopped writing. But I wrote after deserves a post aside. I think I have written a book of concatenated short stories as Neurons in Fury! even when I was 22 years old was a beautiful done. Of course after that I gave a polishing in text, x some things, and when I jointed stories together I had to use some amendments that did not exist in the original texts, but even so, the bottom line was built even when I was 21, 22 years . But rst we must remember the letters. Ah! The letters!

6.5.4

I love airplanes (2010-10-14 20:49)

I said I wrote many letters from the time I left home when I was seventeen and went to the barracks. Yes, I went to the Brazilian Air Force. I loved airplanes. I still love airplanes. I can not say exactly what happened to my life that led me away from them as a profession, since I left the Air Force in 1995. I do not know what led me to reconnect them, but I can not but admit that I love airplanes. I also loved the wars. I did not understand, I could not understand, I was really too young, too naive, too raw to understand intellectually the wars as they really are, so loved militarism in general. I loved everything about studying World War II, about the Vietnam War and especially the Falklands War. Its a long story. I was twelve years old when the Falklands War broke out. It was this war that I had contacted all about militarism. Hence wanting to be military was a leap. I ended up being one of them, but something went wrong along the way and the dream faded quickly. Today, I do not believe in war. I study them with great curiosity, but I do not see them as a deed of glory, but made of pain and suering, and do not wish to be wars carried out or extended, or planned, nor romanticized. Wars are all bad, without exception. But airplanes are a separate story. Whether civilian or military aircraft, are magnicent machines. Interestingly, I have no desire to y. Or like simulation games. I do not know, but there is something interesting in my interest in stories of war and aviation technology. Indeed, at one time I loved astronautics, space race, rockets and satellites, spaceships and probes. I dreamed of being an astronaut, like all boys have dreamed one day. But that dream has passed. As life goes on! Now, Im a bureaucrat, a government ocial, a accommodated, a cynical and skeptical. I am a sort of mulch stripped of illusions. But the letters show that I has been dierent. And the piles of magazines prove that loved aviation aircraft more intensively. If only I had become a mechanical engineer, but no. I ended up became a business administrator. A businessman who insists on bureaucracy, without faith, or heat, or hopes. Why follow our life so strange directions? 110

6.6
6.6.1

November
Confused blogs, lters of socialization and urgent questions (2010-11-16 19:47)

I have broken my head with this blog, because, as I try to understand what exactly a blog is and what it serves, I can not reach any rm conclusion. Whats more, Ive done an honest intellectual eort to understand this new tool, not so new as well. This my eort includes to read a specic number of books on the subject, written recently by leading experts, but still seems very unclear. Then Ive had a number of diculties in organizing what I call simply my ideas, my memories, my agenda 99, etc.. It is not so simple as it sounds, because my ideas are a lot, my memories even more and my agenda is extremely confusing. I have had great diculty in organizing my thoughts in a clear way so that I can put any kind of useful text in my blog. It is true that much of what leads me to write a blog is happy to just write and then post what I write to the world, except that nobody reads, except me. Not even my wife takes the trouble to read my posts, because I not do some advertising to anyone in an active way. At most, now and then I put some kind of link in a disclosure group on Orkut and stop in it. No one reads or comments, or anything. Only I do read my own writing. So even though the world has access to my blog, he, the world, is not very interested in knowing what is in it, nor do I have much interest in releasing it to the world. The thing will be right only by chance, and I do not know no case of online success driven by chance. Im not so good that takes half a dozen souls to spread to the world what I write only because it is this or that. In fact, the web is full of good people writing, and people far more tenacious and ambitious as well. In short: I can not count with luck if I want someone reading my blog, including people very close to me. People simply have more to do. But my blog could be useful to me at least, its most loyal and interested reader. But he has not, necessarily. My blog has not been useful because it reects the disorganization and lack of goals that reigns in my own thoughts and ideas. How can I organize a blog if my head is not organized? And then, not everything that I think should be published. Not everything I do must be made public. So heres another problem: what to publish and what not to publish. I have still no control on this lter that Im sure, must apply to everything I think. So here we go. Everything is a matter of socialization. What does this mean? What is socializing? I have read and thought about it a lot lately too. As the subject blog has been a problem for me, the socialization issue also has me intrigued. What socializing has to do with what rank or leave to post in my blog? What socializing has to do with the lter I use to decide what to publish or no publish? In other words, what asking a lter must do to a text or a subject or idea in order to reach a denitive answer like: this subject, text or idea can or should be made public, be disclosed, socialized, promoted, advertised, or should not? This is a good question and needs to be answered quickly. What question is this? But the answer to this question is not exhaustive. It remains to organize my thoughts, goals, my lot of intellectual input that clutter boxes of emails, drafts 111

in digital les, diaries and notebooks, PDAs and Web sites, books and magazines, papers and boxes of les, objects and memories. It is much to be organized. How to organize it all? These simple questions are already helping to organize ideas, and there is already a relatively organized, despite the apparent confusion. So this blog is not as useless as well, at least for me. It remains to become socially useful. So what is it that can be both useful to me as to others? I do not know, but I think better on this issue, but not now. Stay for a next post, which I do not know when will come. Wait, wait, wait ...

6.6.2

Prolix, I? (2010-11-18 16:24)

I have a strong tendency to be a prolix writer. I start thinking in something and end up losing the way. I think people in general already do not like to read, further read about things that no interest them and over, confused things. Then I need to be more short, sharp, dry. Thats what I try to make with my writings from now. No, that does not mean Im gonna be posting on Twitter. I do not know what this means ...

6.6.3

My passion for books (2010-11-18 16:34)

Ive talked about some of my tastes, such as listening to music, writing, etc.. I said I like airplanes and I was military. I posted about my failures sites and some issues that I have been addressing: ecology, safety, consumerism, mysteries. But I do not talk about my passion for books. Yes, I love to read. I love bookstores, libraries, old books stores and e-books websites. I read a lot, really. All the time. I have hundreds and hundreds books in my house. I have hundreds and hundreds e-books on my computer. I have a widely varied interests related to almost everything that is written and published. I do not know exactly how many books I have, nor how many I read. But I know that books are fundamental things to me. Read, I think, is almost an addiction. Here is a good use for this blog: talking about books. Thats what I intend to do. If you also really likes to read and would like to exchange ideas about books in general, this can be a good blog to follow. Soon, Ill post about my rst readings. It is this: without much delay. No ddle-faddle.

6.6.4

In English... (2010-11-18 18:18)

For all intents and purposes, Im translating this blog (originally written in Portuguese) into English. I created a new blog, identical to that one, with the same posts in the same order, nally, I clone it, only 112

using Google Translator. Yes, I know, it does not work so round, and no, Im not a big star in English, but better something is awed, but overall, than something perfect, but limited. Lets see what happens ...

6.6.5

Self-help books (2010-11-26 22:29)

I said I like to read and actually read a lot. Then one day I came across a book of self-help and he helped me very much. Now, I do not know if Ive learned is still useful or not. I do not know, and I think this is a good place to talk. Yes, talk about self-help!

6.6.6

Storyteller (2010-11-26 22:41)

I like reading, but also love to write. Many of the things I write here are written in a supercial and random way. In fact, I would like to write short stories, short stories from my real life. I enjoy writing, realy. For example, why not tell how I came across my rst self-help book? Better, why not tell the story of my rst encounter with a real book? Yes, I guess blogs are not suitable for telling stories, so I created a website. There is nothing in it yet, but the sites are the best places to write stories. About what could I write? About everything. Where to begin? By the beginning? But then, I never get the latest stories, because I think any thing is worthy of interest, since I remember this thing. What is the reason to write about everything? Write about all for simple pleasure of writing? I do not know, I do not know. But Ill write my stories and I will publish them on my site and Ill disclose it at this blog for myself, because no one will read anything at all, neither the blog or website. Ill do it from my way...

6.6.7

Tujuguaba (2010-11-26 23:50)

I just made available on [1]Scribd what Ive written about my past until I was fourteen years old, in the village of [2]Tujuguaba. I know its not enough, when I think of much that I might have written if I had more desire and more time, but otherwise its very up, knowing in advance that no one cares for it and nobody will even read anything that is writing. 113

No matter, because I promised I would write and make available to the world what I wrote. Its a few, I know, but it is a promise that will be fullling. Yes, I try to keep my own promises.
1. http://www.scribd.com/ 2. http://www.scribd.com/doc/44129655/Tujuguaba

6.7
6.7.1

December
The Firm (2010-12-04 16:16)

I am a person who likes money. Let me explain. Not that I do not like to have the money itself, that we have in our wallet and the current account, and we gain expending a lot of sweat. I like this kind of money too, and too much. But when I say that like money, is the sense of liking to study how the wealth is often created, stored, accumulated, transferred, lost and destroyed. I like money from an economic standpoint. After all, while I am not exactly an economist, I have a degree in Business Administration, and the two areas are closely linked. In fact, I might as well have done economics, but fate did not allow things went in their normality. I wanted to be an economist, but I changed my mind and went to study management. But economics is a science more theoretical than practical, and manage companies is one way of doing economic theory turn in action. Once I understood that money has relation with economics and business, it was as if I had discovered the wheel. Interestingly, there was not one thing quickly or early. I was living a life of a young adult, working and supporting me, but without a track in hands to touch the rest of my life. So, since I chose to be a business administrator, they, the companies, have fascinated me. But one thing is to study companies. Administer them in fact is another task, far more complex. I ventured to open The Firm. Like many millions of people make around the world all the time, I risked to join my knowledge and luck and tried to make money, lots of money. Nothing more welcome in our capitalist and competitive world. But it did not work. Lacked luck, lacked knowledge, lacked maturity and remaining problems of all kinds. The result was not a failure, but an abortion. You see, abortion is a kind of failure, but in this case, we can not even speak of a rm in its real sense. There was never any rm. Simply there was a name and a public record, a formality. It is as if a child had his birth certicate recorded before birth, but still in the womb. Simply nothing happened in the real world. Only in the legal world, the papers and documents. Look: abortion is a kind of failure, but in this case, we can not even speak of a rm in its real sense. There was not any rm, never. Simply there was a name and a public record, a formality. It is as if a child had his birth certicate recorded before birth, but still in the womb. Simply nothing happened in the real world. Only in the legal world, the papers and documents. I changed my mind, I changed my plans, I left the rm of paper and walked with my life in other ways. But the rm of paper was still there, registered as a skeleton, an X-ray of a skeleton, a mere image of what could have been a rm. As a radiograph does not grow, does not evolve or enrich anyone, she did not die. The rm continued for years in its inactive formal status. All radiographic years of hibernation were marked by negative statements of income tax of legal entities, a kind of macabre ritual in which we testify that something is dead, but we can not yet rid of its skeleton. 114

Then one day I decided to remind me that I needed a kind of exorcism. For an administrator, or at least to me, a manager, a failed rm was like a certicate of incompetence. Of course, now I think dierently about companies that do not work, but for many years I tried to forget this company and all the pain that involved, abandoned dreams and chronic problems unresolved. I have created it on paper and never have been able to go ahead and have tried to do some of my dreams come true for me was cause for great sadness and frustration. And Im not accustomed to give up, fail and lower my head, overcome or defeated. Maybe thats why I only remembered it when I got the month of income tax declarations. At this time, a friend, an accountant, called me and said that I needed to do the damn negative statement. One day, I noted in my le of Microsoft Outlook, in a task folder, a reminder: close rm. This was my most important task, but remained purposely ignored for over many years to come, because, I admit, it was painful to put a denitive end to it, closing it denitely in the record companies. While hibernating, there was always the possibility of turning it back on and restart some grand project through it and their roles. Then life took a new turn and changed my plans. No business, no business, ever. So even the roles hibernating were a problem because with the new course, I could not legally have no company, and in this case even a single record was a potential problem. So, I took courage and decided to face the huge bureaucracy that was to close a company in Brazil. In fact, some years before I even tried to tackle the problem, but gave up. It was too much paperwork, too much money, too much work. I gave up. This time, I would go ahead. So I was surprised, because the laws had changed, and the thing was simple, quick, cheap and painless. Today, I am an administrator who had a rm, which never came into work, and which is formally closed, in perfect accordance with the law. I feel less frustrated now than I did a few years ago. This rm existed for twelve, thirteen years. At this time, the pain left behind and what was a trauma seems to have disappeared with time, as any trauma. Do not know if I dare engage in business today, but I also not see why I could not get involved. After all, Im still a businessman, working intellectually in this eld, though not directly. If one day I venture to meddle with business, did I open a new rm? I do not know, but this, for all practical purposes, will not exist again. The Firm is denitely closed.

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Chapter 7

2011
7.1
7.1.1

January
Happy new year (2011-01-09 18:17)

In [1]my fourth [2]post in this blog, in 2004, I used a quote from Muriel Rukeyser at the opening of my text. I said I did not know who was this author and promised to nd out. Well, Muriel Rukeyser was an American writer and activist, feminist rights advocate. She wrote a series of poems when was young and, well, I also said in the same text that would speak more about using phrases from famous people and the implications behind this custom. I will, but not now. Before, I must to remember that we are already in January 2011. A new year begins and I hope it is a very good year. I hope its better than 2009, a bad year and 2010, one of the worst imaginable year. We must be realistic: not all years are good years and there are years really tough. I want 2010 to be remembered as a year personally dicult, but at the same time productive. A year of sowing, of struggle, achievement not eective yet, but in promise. Achievements to be fruitful in the years ahead. I also remember that Im on vacation. Im in a premium lay-o, actually. The rst of my life. Im home with absolutely no commitment, but by no means peaceful, calm or happy. How can I be calm with a life so dicult? How can I be at peace when also 2011 promises to be one most very tumultuous and uncertain year? How can I feel happy with so many challenges? How could I be happy just to be able to ght? I do not know whether the mere struggle for life is in itself reason to be happy. Anyway, Im insecure, frustrated and without direction. I see no solution to my problems in the short term, and they, the problems, are many, though not necessarily fatal. So that 2011 be a year of change, though not of peace and tranquility. But this view of the uneasy future is just that: a vision. The world continues as it always followed, unmoved front of my life and my problems. I do not mean a thing and I step through life as a y passes its existence in a vast and dense forests. Im in my forties and living an existential crisis more severe and painful that I have lived in my last year. Yes, life is for me an eternal crisis. Im hairy, bearded and fat. Im terrible. My chaotic life remains chaotic. Just to try to lessen my feeling of guilt for not fullling my promises, for not having the courage to chase my dreams and for being a coward by not making decisions that could change my life for the better, so today I decided to tidy my books . My bookshelves were and are crammed. I buy books compulsively, as if the mere presence of them forming one pile on a shelf would solve my problems. 117

Then, with free time and plenty of guilt, I decided organize this big disorder. Then I counted the books. Yes, I counted my books! I gured it had something around 700 books. But no: I have about 1330 books. Thats right: 1330 books or so. So I came to a conclusion. I need time to read them, but this is not the main problem. The hardest thing now is space. I need space. I desperately need the space. I can not stand to live squeezed into my little rented apartment. Ill have to change soon. I live in rent and I can not aord sucient nancial and professional stability to the point of buying my own property. We live in a speculative real estate bubble in Brazil and buy anything right now is pure idiocy. But one way or another, I have to move to another location within a few months. It will have the opportunity to get more space. Oh, how I need space! Incidentally, Ive been playing Sim City 3000. I have my little town called Tujuguaba, obviously, and it was stagnant for years, with its 25,000 inhabitants. So, I took the day o and took a few hours to play. Its a cool thing. I actually have hundreds of computer games that, like the books I bought and never played. In fact, even took the packaging. I always hoped that one day I would play them. Compulsive shopping. Mania of accumulate things. Inability to enjoy things that could bring me pleasure. Afraid to get involved in vices. Yes, I have a lot of trouble. I hope that in 2011 I at least try to address them. Merry 2011, even though delayed by nine days long.
1. http://www.blogger.com/goog_1915837904 2. http://rosenvaldo-english.blogspot.com/2004/05/general-what-i-mean-by-general.html

7.1.2

Where to begin? (2011-01-09 19:13)

I said in my rst post in this blog that we need to record our ideas so we can eternalize them. However, by the time I started this blog, also started a personal page. This page still exists, but is to ies and virtually anyone visit it. Neither myself. Just out of curiosity, the access address is [1]http://rosenvaldo.simoes.sites.uol.com.br/ and as I write this post, this site was visited 178 times, probably most of the time only for me. He begins with a declaration of intent equal to the rst post of this blog and then follows with a Where to begin?. This second text is an attempt to justify the reasons which lead me to write about my life and my ideas. I do not know if I have time or motivation to comply with this plan to record my life and my ideas, but the text justication is reasonable and so I make available here now: Where to begin? Everything has a beginning. Have a beginning, however, does not mean that this beginning is simple or known. In fact, things happen exactly in reverse. All beginnings are mysterious and complex, even when they appear otherwise. Just that we pay some attention to this supposed simplicity, and it will fade away like smoke. Endless causal chains, multiple interactions between very many causes, most unknown, makes the origin of things is always foggy, slippery, vague. How much deeper we dig in the past, less we know about everything. Time erases the traces left by the sequence of events that generate things, and what remains are ruins that tell little, speak little, clarify little. Hence the importance of memory. 118

We need to record the facts. But not only the facts. We need to register the complex inner world, that we call mind, because is in the mind that things do happen. But it is not easy. Starting where our work record? What we have to add to what is already registered? The answer to this question may be what we have to add to what is recorded is exactly what no one has yet recorded, nor may record, better than ourselves, namely, that which is not accessible to anyone else that we for ourselves. Finally, there are facts and facts. There are facts that are accessible to all, and there are unique facts of each one of us, our mental facts. Perhaps we need not record the facts of the real world, because there are a lot of eort in the world toward this purpose, but any eort in the world will be able to record what goes on inside our minds, but to ourselves, if we are willing to do so, obviously. But what the reason for this? What have we in particular to oer that is original to the world? What information should come to the fore of our minds to the knowledge of the world? If we divide the contents of what is recorded in our minds, we would have two categories of information: the rst would be composed of our personal history and the second of our ideas about the world. No one may be able to meet our personal history better than us, and nobody can know the result of our reasoning, unless we have disposition to reveal them to the world. But again, what the value of these informations? We do not know. Humanity may have had thousands of great men, great thinkers, who lived and died and were forgotten by the simple fact that there are no records available about them. But not only the quality of our reasoning counts. Our personal story is unique as we are unique and have our own value for our uniqueness. The mere fact that we existed and have lived is itself a priceless good. Not that those who lived and left no records have not been valuable lives, but it is human nature to want to share experiences, whatever they are. Our biographies may not be the most exciting, but still, naturally, are valuable and deserve to be shared with the rest of humanity. From where do we begin our biographies? In how many ways the past can be described? Will we see ourselves in our past from the standpoint of which lens? How many lenses have we? These are dicult questions to answer. However, we have to answer them. The quality of our records depends on how we look at our past. Have we some basis to start something with this complexity? What are the tools available for the task? History, as a science, may be the answer. Well, history as science may have some answers on how to describe our past, but rst we must study the methods that history as science gives us. This is a long issue and I will not be now that Im going to detain me ( la Hegel ...) in it. I think Ill kill this site UOL. indeed, Ill leave all that refers to UOL back. But not now. Now I have more to do ...
1. http://rosenvaldo.simoes.sites.uol.com.br/

7.1.3

Og Mandino: the story of a book (2011-01-27 18:29)

My rst contact with the book by Og Mandino, The University of Success, occurred around October or November 1990, in the city of Guaratinguet, State of So Paulo, Brazil, during my training course at the School of Experts Sergeant in Air Force, the EEAR. It must be clear that this was obviously not the rst book I read in my life, nor the last. It was, however, the rst book that really opened my mind to possibilities not previously thought. It was the rst self-help book, so to speak, that I read in my life, and had a great impact on my thinking and living. Actually, I did not give much attention to the book when I saw it in the rst time. Simei, a classmate and one my friend, had a copy, with a beautiful and bright blue cover, along with their study material, and 119

occasionally I saw the book very quickly. I had a great taste for books since 1982, when I read my rst book, and from then on, always frequented libraries and always liked to read, so that the mere sight of any book ever called my attention as a promising source of pleasure. But all I had read so far was limited to novels and textbooks, technical books, never a self-help book. On the contrary, self-help books did not look great things at the time, as some titles were not strangers to me, nor I looked cute. Veja magazine had and still has a service of sales ranking of books on their pages, and reports weekly sales of books according to three categories: ction, nonction and self help. Thus, as occasionally I read a magazine Veja in some place, and as I always interested in books, I always take a look at the sales rankings, and there were the self-help books. Those are not books that attract my attention. There were books on witchcraft, Paulo Coelhos books, a writer who is known as a magus, as well as books about crystals, angels, kabbalah, numerology, astrology, reincarnation, spiritualism and other mystical and esoteric subjects, subjects who never received much attention by have spiritual connotations, religious. As someone brought up under the rules of Catholicism, and then, after having had some less supercial knowledge about religion, something in me was marked by the idea that mysticism, esotericism, New Age spiritualism, were subjects not very healthy over Christian viewpoint. Prejudice maybe, but that was my opinion at the time, so I saw the ranking of self-help as merely a listing of dangerous books to people who had suspects religious grounds, something like a sort of spiritualist books, voodooists, new hippies, people linked to drugs and who like a head talk, sophisticated philosophical and mystical conversation, but at the same time little useful thing, full of fantasies and delirious travels. It was a biased view of a teenager, I admit, and today I forgive me for having this vision one day. Anyway, I never heard about Og Mandino. Indeed, his book was originally published in 1982 and launched by Record Editor in Brazil in 1985. So at the time of its release, which probably would have some chance of appearing among the top sellers in the ranking of the Veja magazine, I certainly have not read his name, or if I read, I did not pay attention to the subject, so for me it was just a beautiful book with a inviting blue cover and nothing more. We were at the time of graduation from EEAR. One or two months and we would be formed. We have not took studies in such a breakneck pace and for two years I had not read anything interesting, no one book at all, I remember. So, that book seemed very timely. I asked Simei that allowed me to skim through it. It was a nice feeling. The volume of over ve hundred pages seemed to invite me to read, with their leaves yellow and uy. I read the cover and Simei, who was reading it, informed me of its contents, with some excitement. I read some more and I do not remember it at the same time or a few days later, I ended up taking the book borrowed from Simei, and read rapidly it. It was like an electric shock! I read it in one stream, and realized that would never be the same type of reader like before. Few things in my life and experiences have had much impact in terms of changes in my way of thinking and of behaving as it. I ended up recommending this book to Roni, my younger brother, and because he could not get the book in Conchal city, who had not, and I think still has, a bookstore, I bought a copy just for us. So, Roni could read it and ended up sharing the same enthusiasm with me, although I believe that this enthusiasm was not as intense as mine. For some months, until April 1991, I believe, I was still under the eects of what he had read. Gradually, however, the impact of his reading was losing strength and two or three months later, had fallen almost into 120

oblivion. Of course, I still had the book, looked at him with a mixture of joy, gratitude and pride, like a treasure chest of gold, but his teachings ultimately not solidify properly, and soon fell into oblivion, in the common grave of the great books read and soon forgotten. I think only two or three stories, as the text of A letter to Garcia, the texts of Dale Carnegie and something about organization, planning, schedules and order remained in memory. But my view about the self-help books has changed, and my relationship with them does not stop there, in Og Mandino only. In 1994, Roni moved to Canada and took the copy of Mandino on luggage. It would be of some use in the uncertain future that he lay ahead, and it would be best used by him than by me. Roni did not broke up the book and brought it back in 1998 when he returned from Canada. I do not know if it was helpful or not, if Roni came to reread it or not. Anyway, the book remained with him for some reason, and only a few years later, in 2000, on a visit I did to his home, was that I could make contact with Mandino again. When I looked at his small personal library, there was the book without cover, blue cover, older, more yellow, with lots of blotchs and patches, inviting me to read it again. I took it back and I still have it until today, as a dear and valuable object. Study it never ceased to give some good results. But it is a book that should be studied, then, as deeply as possible, not just read. While studying is always more tiring than just reading, it is always a more rewarding. I never tire of ipping through him and reread small portions, and to meditate on his words, phrases, themes and suggestions. A book that does not change, but it contributes to change myself, I believe, and therefore has a dierent avor with each new reading. Incomplete, it is true, because nite, his words have served as seed for new reading on new books, in search to know deeply some theme, to clear better some reasoning. Anyway, he has been the a-b-c in the school of thought, the spelling book which I started reading new lessons, and although it sometimes may seem simple in its recommendations many times reread, he can also save valuable secrets, since we know to study it properly. Document created: Feb 16, 2006 Document modied on Feb 1, 2007

7.2
7.2.1

May
Old times, old places (2011-05-07 06:37)

After long months out of time and motivation to write this blog, nally decided to post something on it. Yesterday I had the time and cool head enough to do something I think the best: get the car on a wonderful afternoon and go aimlessly, with my wife and my brother-in-law. We do not plan anything, but that is wheres the fun of it. We went to an event in the vicinity of Ribeiro Preto, the city where we live, but changed our mind and ended up taking a dirt road and we went on it. It was pretty cool. Old houses, mansions, abandoned coee plantations, beautiful landscapes. Finally, a trip to Pirassununga, unto the Emu Falls (Cachoeira de Emas). Fish for dinner in front of the Mogi-Guau River. How much I love this So Paulo State!

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7.2.2

About stop smoking... (2011-05-31 18:22)

I said I have an old Agenda 99 and that one of its rst pages is dedicated to what is called armative actions. The schedule called for us to write some actions that we would do at the beginning of the year and that would help save the world from environmental collapse. I, with the naivete of a good consumer, listed ve attitudes that I thought ecological attitudes. The rst act was to stop smoking. What relation has between stop smoking and ecology? Ive asked this question before in this blog, but not answered. How does a smoker to contribute to the destruction of planet Earth? I think the fact that smoking and destroying nature are tangents things. These things are dierent forms of unacceptable aggression. Both are things that must be fought. They are problems with dierent causes and dierent solutions, but both urgent and delicate. There is between the smoker and the destroyer of nature a close relationship. It is a subtle relationship, but critical. Solve a problem is a precondition for the solution of another problem. Otherwise, lets see. I understand that a smoker, and I was a smoker, undertakes an action in smoking that represents a serious attack on his own health. It seems that nowadays there are few smokers who admit to ignore the evils that smoking produces. They may disregard the risks, can claim that they are long-term risks, but can not say that there are no health risks. Now, a smoker is in a hurry to an addiction. A chemical addiction, it is true, but a destructive addiction. In my quick thinking, it seemed inconsistent that someone can take ecological actions without rst taking most urgent attitudes quest to save yourself from a clearly destructive addiction. They are real risks arising from the ecological destruction of the planet, but a smoker is much more subject to risks that a non-smoker. Furthermore, it was for me a matter of self-love. How can anyone love nature and not love his own health? How can someone saving the world and not save himself before? Worse, how can we expect to save the world before dying needlessly from an addiction? The ecological thought should rather be subordinated to the thought of a healthy life. Sick people should take care of yourself rst, then take care of the world. Thus, it seemed to me that I could not hold on ecological actions without rst taking care of my own health. But if smoking is an addiction, and Iwas not born smoking, how fell I in so expensive and painful mistake? This is another question. But not now. Moreover, that my reasoning about the relationship between smoking and ecology is relatively correct, but incomplete. Anyway, I stopped smoking. This is the main issue, and that really has made me think to much.

7.2.3

Nuclei from Conchal (2011-05-31 18:52)

Ive been making serious eorts to understand where I came, why I had the life I had and how things are today and why they are so. The relationship between past, present and future is a complex web. There are past facts that are levers to our present and future success, while there are others, or possibly the same facts, which are stones in our path that we are almost unable to transpose. Ive been writing something about my past, but I left for a while. Recently, Ive been traveling to my hometown, and had the opportunity to rekindle the curiosity about my 122

past, the past of my family, my city, my state, my country, my world. It is not an easy search, but it is gratifying to know that there are more people working on the same issues, the same search, and that are kilometers ahead. It was good to know that someone researched about the past of my city and recently wrote a book on the subject. A magnicently well written book. Nuclei from Conchal, see Google ... How I wish I could take time and conditions for dialogue with these people! It seems incredible, but how dicult are the dialogues today! I know who wrote the book, I know how to access it, but things do not work. The Internet has become a sort of large garbage barn where penetrate it and nd something useful is painful, frustrating and discouraging. We live in something like a lonely online. People connect every day, but do not connect with each other. People talk nonsense in chats and MSN and over, but it is just this: nonsense. Know better how did my city is a major step towards knowing about myself and my own past, and how to make my future. This is serious. This deserves my best eorts. How to dodge rocks that prevent me from walking?

7.2.4

My dear Outlook (2011-05-31 19:02)

I always talk a lot about my schedules, but never spoke about my Outlook. Outlook has been for me a source of progress and diculties. It is where I recorded my hundreds of tasks, chores, goals, projects and plans. I do not look at these notes every day. In fact, as this blog, I am sometimes pass months without opening it. But whenever I have some quiet, give a neat in my notes. I review priorities, look things already dismissed and write down new tasks. Because my life is not a company, no need to follow certain hours or days. So, Im not a dedicated worker. I have plenty of time, but use it in the most good-natured and fruitless as possible. I sleep a lot, ride a lot, Im doing nothing for long hours and talk platitudes most of the time. If I am a failure, the fault is entirely mine. I know Im not going to accomplish almost anything that promise to myself. I have lost hope. At best, I attack something more urgent here, a bureaucracy there, a broken pipe there, a late document there again and thus will lead to life. The Outlook is the proof of my failure.

7.2.5

Exploring the world at home! (2011-05-31 21:04)

I have spent long time on the internet doing something that gives me much pleasure: Navigating in Google Earth. The guys at Google are pretty smart. So they launched Google Maps, I thought the best, but after they launched the Earth, with the globe that rotates, with the earth in relief and the millions of photos uploaded by Panoramio, it was impossible to escape. I also made some contribution to the Wikimapia. Its pretty cool too, and although not the best way of knowing the world, is still faster and cheaper way. If we want to delve a little and see the thing in motion, add Youtube and is almost perfect. If you want to know something written on the subject, use Wikipedia and Google itself. Thus, we became good expert in anywhere in the world. 123

I have visited a lot in Earth the region where I live, Ribeiro Preto, and I lived, in Conchal, all in Brazil. But Ive been to varied places. Lately Ive visited Amap State, Serra do Navio and its manganese mining. I have many photos on my HD, but still not have released any on Panoramio. I hope to do it soon. I have that book with the 1001 Places to Know Before You Die. He is a kind of script. The book itself is limited, but if we go ahead and follow the links that the author provides, more photos of Google Earth and Youtube videos, is magnicent. This is one of the best things to do in life: to know the world.

7.3
7.3.1

June
Little ant from So Paulo (2011-06-02 02:01)

I did something I should have done before, and was noted in my Outlook: credit in my checking account my percentage of VAT tax that the Government of the State of So Paulo return to us because we buy goods and take invoices with our tax identication number. It is called So Paulo Fiscal Note. So, since this government program came out, my wife and I have asked patience in all places where we spend money that we provide the So Paulo Fiscal Note. It has lasted about four years. And it should represent some money to receive. So today I decided to indicate a current account and the government will deposit an interesting amount of money in a few days. That is, slowly, Ill fulll some tasks which I propose. My wife and I made our work of ants. Now, is time to reaping the rewards. Maybe we buy an IPad 2...

7.3.2

Violated tag (2011-06-02 02:13)

Another small task to accomplish what I set out was to change my E-ZPass tag. What is this? Well, the So Paulo highways are excellent, but they are privatized and tolled. So whenever we traveled, we lost some time in tolls, counting coins and small money and it ended when we began to pay for the service from Easy Way and Without Stop companies. For a modest monthly price already discounted in the current account, the company provides us an E-ZPass electronic gadget we preach in windshield of our car and when we go through tolls, we drove to a special band and we own the track without stopping, literally. An antenna reads the number of the gadget, called tag, and then electronically charge the owner of the tag. Well, since some time to now, always we passed in tolls some electronic charts were informing us something like Free passage: violated tag. I called the company of tags and I was told that possibly the gadget was removed from where it was preached and represented a violation of the tag. He could not be removed in any way, because people could use it illegally. How so? Now, if someone steals your tag, he will pass through the tolls normally, but the bill will come in your name. If the tag, the gadget, does not have this safety mechanism, a real market for stolen tags could form. After all, we are in Brazil. Since with the security mechanism, it becomes more dicult to misuse, because sooner or later, some toll gate will lock and your violated tag will be investigated. 124

Many people, like me, move the tag for some reason, and then puts it back. I did this once time fearing that smart bandits, but ignorant of technological advances, tried to steal the tag, which is always visible on the windshield, thinking it a GPS or something. But removing it was a mistake. Well, the solution was to change the tag at the risk of being barred sooner or later at some toll worldwide. Today, we changed the tag. My wife called the company again, noted a number of protocol and with that number, we went to a Without Stop kiosk in a mall in the city and changed the gadget. We left the mall very happy, certain that we will never see the damn warning violated tag the next time we travel. And will travel soon, because soon my grandmother will one hundred years old. Thats right: my maternal grandmother is a centenarian. This deserves a trip. So, no violated tags... change your tag and travel easy.

7.3.3

Buying more books (2011-06-02 02:21)

I went to FNAC bookstore. But before I have coee in Paraler bookstore. The coee there is better, and the dark atmosphere of the coee shop too. In FNAC, the coee shop is Franz Caf, and there everything is cold and clear and does not combine with coee and cold nights. I ended up taking a look and found in Paraler the book I was looking for: Mau, Entrepreneur of the Empire, by Jorge Caldeira. In break, I discovered another interesting book: Petroleum, by a foreign author whose name has not memorized yet. I bought both. I do not know when I read them, but they are part of that kind of books which deal with subjects that seem irresistible. I must read them ... MUST read them! Ah, my wife bought some little books about tourism: one about the South of Brazil and another about Paris. They are also trips that seem irresistible. We must to do them ... Reinforcing: MUST to do them! It is the power of positive thinking and wrote thinking making things happen.

7.3.4

Huberman and mans worldly goods (2011-06-02 02:35)

I nished reading Mans Worldly Goods by Leo Huberman. It is a classic book and was written in 1936. Long time. The world had not yet left the crisis of 1929 and had not entered in World War II. Huberman wrote the book then at a crucial moment of the twentieth century. He made impressive predictions on various subjects. A curious thing: Russia was a communist baby-country, and Stalin was just Stalin. Curious though communism is not seen by the author as an economic aberration as the way that is seen today. Although not treat in detail of socialism, in the end looks a little like To the Finland Station, by Edmund Wilson, another American who comes to the topic. I made myself the question: these books really are historically relevant outside Brazil or simply are successful only in Brazil and only because they were written by some of the few American writers who do not openly speak about communism as a bad? It gives the impression that there is in the mind of the Brazilian people, and even more in the mind of the Brazilian intelligentsia a passionate desire that Brazil turns in a communist country. How can they feed this truly innocent passion? 125

How can a person with a PhD and well informed to believe that socialism and communism a la Fidel and Che Guevara can be viable here? I dunno ... it smells as a disguised theology...

7.3.5

Mind maps (2011-06-03 02:22)

Ive got much time and is the end of the morning. Therefore the sun will appear. Free time helps me think clearly and then I thought a lot about many things. I told my mind is confused. She is confused because life itself is confusing. I am a meticulous and rational person, and I have a sort of compulsion to try to put order in my mind, and then put order in my life, and then chase my dreams and projects and everything else. This blog is not exactly the right place to order the life, but is in it I reported some of my deepest thoughts. Assuming that my confusion needs to be organized, I used a feature that stands out as something very modern and advanced: the mind maps. It was my friend Renato, from Brasilia, who rst told me about the mind map software. Then it was just moving forward. Today I decided to use FreeMind, a software, to try to order my spread ideas in this blog. After much meditation, I came to interesting conclusions. About these ndings I will speak in the next posts. Good luck to me in my arduous mental work.

7.3.6

I do not wanna, I do not like, I need to let go ... (2011-06-03 02:43)

Thinking more about what means the past, I came to the conclusion that the past itself may or may not be used as an indicator for the present and future. However there are certain historical records that have value for themselves. There are records, though useless as a source of future predictions, they are still very interesting and provide a lot of interest and pleasure to be known and studied. The problem is that life is too short to we live only by hidden pleasures in things of the past. Moreover, the past makes us want to continue it in future. If I see something great that has happened, I think, why not do something big too? How to do something that will be record in the History in a few decades, some centuries, a few millennia? But why bother to do something great when we are not alive ourselves to relish our own greatness? There is a dilemma then, between past, present and future. Balancing these point of views and consider the adequacy of time we devote to each of them is essential. This equation must be solved. There are things that I have already registered and that in fact are part of my story. But today, I no longer have any interest in rescuing any recollection or project related to them. But what to do with them, since they are not forgotten, because they are properly registered? Then I said I do not want to talk about certain things, or thinking about them, because they are overcome. And there are things I do not like to deal with, and does not bother me want to be harping on them. I want to forget them, but I can not because they are registered. How to let go of those uncomfortable things, if I can not simply ignore the records that they are mentioned? 126

Detachment, neutrality and curiosity with regard to our own past seems a very dicult thing for me. Although I try to put certain things that are already completed in what I call the Archive. The archive is dead, but not forgotten. So why look at the archive? I watch the archive because it is curious. Its something like the Titanic: we all know that is sunk, we do not have any relationship with him, but it no means that we do not want to see the movie and not be impressed with what happened. Then, why the past is so interesting? Why did he fascinates us and holds us in his long story full of endless details exactly when we know that life fades away between our ngers? Im inebriate for ages that are gone. But I can not live without just leaving my mark. How good is being a spectator of life. But how painful knowing it is to have lived only as a spectator of life ... What a dilemma!

7.3.7

Italian Renaissance and Shopping Malls (2011-06-04 00:12)

Im with sleep messed up, again. I have plenty of time so Im doing some things that I like. Reading too much, sleeping too much and playing on the Internet. I am also trying to put order in my ideas, many of them expressed in this blog. Im making a huge mind map of things I have written here. I just want to see how it goes. O to sleep, I went to Saraiva bookstore in the Santa Ursula Mall, here in Ribeiro. I go there almost every day. With time to spare, I took two big books very interesting. The rst about the Italian Renaissance architecture. Dozens, hundreds of pictures of fantastic palaces, castles, churches and monasteries. Unfortunately it was an expensive book and the pictures were all black and white. Then I saw another book about design of shops in malls around the main cities of the world. This time things colorful and beautiful. Worth the price, which was also expensive. Why all this interest in design and architecture? Well, because I was a professional artist for seven long years, the time I was in our nostalgic Brazilian Air Force. Of course, I was just a designer with very little technical knowledge of architectural drawing and design. But for a while now, because without the commitment to have the design as a profession, I liked what even I got not start learning in the Air Force. Oil painting, art history, architecture, sculpture, nally, a set of knowledge that now seems delicious. Sad is not possible to take advantage of some of that knowledge today. In fact, I would need to be giving way to earn much money, because thats what really matters. It is painful to say this, but its my reality today. One thing that my mind map has appointed me is that my interests change. Today this, tomorrow that, and I follow through the life, doing nothing whole, nothing complete, nothing valuable. Only insignicant snacking on things that arouse my frivolous interest. Oh, I act as if Ill live a thousand years!

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7.3.8

No one will be remembered for what not did (2011-06-04 01:02)

This is an important phrase. It is important because it makes me think about things I actually did. It forces me to make an inventory of my accomplishments and achievements. And perhaps the only way to do this inventory is just telling my personal story. Otherwise, how will I know what I did in my life? How will people know who I am or I was? But rst, why this compulsion to be remembered? But this is not where the problem lies. The problem is that Im forty years old and with a strong sense of having lived a lot and have done nothing. So it is not to tell people that I report my deeds, but to give myself a sense of accomplishment, not to have lived my life in vain. If so, what should I say to myself? But, am I the best and most impartial judge? I do not know. We have to be cold this time. First, and now goes all the scientic theory of history to support me, I must contextue me, that is, I enter the in world and in time. Who am I? This is perhaps a fair question, but is not the most important. I must rst ask why I came to be who I am, and then what I can be. So why am I who I am? And then, what can I become? Who I am: one of seven billion people living life without a dened direction. So why come to nd myself in this situation? After: I can be anything I want? If yes, what should I be to do something to be remembered? What deserves to be remembered? I can make that something that deserves to be remembered? It is the riskiest of the bets: bet a life on something worth doing do be made. Look: is not doing something that is worth remembering, because I do not must be remembered. I just need to satisfy my concept of duty, of a life that was worth living. So what I think that should be worth a life? Write a blog about amenities? Not at all. Writing about my dull life? Not at all. Write falsely about my dull life in order to convince myself that my life was, is and will be the most worthy of all lives, because it could not be dierent from what was, is and will be, and so convince myself that fulll my mission on Earth? This is not the worst ideas, but by no means the easiest, because I am a hard man to be convinced that a lie can be made true. So, this is a challenge: to prove to myself that my life was, is and will be worth living. Thinking well, why should not be? After all, what I failed to do that would make me unworthy of life? Being born under the conditions of my birth, I do the best I can. Or not? This is the moment of truth.

7.3.9

Finally a cold day (2011-06-09 23:59)

Its hard to feel cold in Brazil. Even living in Ribeiro Preto, the cold is rare, because Ribeiro is a hot city. But today it rained, blowed, cooled and maybe volcanic ash from Chile falls from the sky. How good to see 128

the world active! I went to the mall, bought a nice bag for my wife and a game, a ight simulator to me. It is this: simulators that I buy and never install or play are my last wishes in the world of aviation. Moreover, downloaded computer books and now I try to keep this blog alive. Sure, I built some streets in Wikimapia, but that was it. I will live a thousand years...

7.3.10

Cradle Rock (2011-06-26 15:10)

Nothing like killing the nostalgia ... [1]http://youtu.be/TL7Sk1rwqgk This is a song by Frank Zappas Cucamunga. A charm, right...
1. http://youtu.be/TL7Sk1rwqgk

7.3.11

Privacidade (2011-06-26 16:59)

Ive been concerned about my privacy. Ive been worried about everything Ive been posting on this blog and everything else on the Internet. I think there are many things that are online and that should not be. Sure, theres nothing I did or is doing that is illegal or immoral. Thats not it. I think a smart person can learn a lot about someone just digging a lot on the internet. If I can nd a lot of things about people, they can learn a lot about me too. But why the fear? What I have to fear in the fact that people may know about my life over the internet? It is that life changes. What I thought ten years ago does not reect my reality today. Important issues in the past are no longer relevant today. I changed and still changing. But people know that? No, people do not know. They do not know this because in general people do not change. They become more themselves. And why then only do I change? Not that only I change. There is a minority group of people that change more than other. So one thing that was important to me ten years ago does not mean anything today, but it is dicult for a person who does not understand this change. So Im going erasing my digital past. Perhaps even this blog will disappear. I do not know. We do not live in a safe world. Do not live in a easy world and I am one of few friends. The rest are neutral people, when not hidden enemies. So would not surprise me to have to end this blog. There are times when we have to disseminate our ideas, but there are times when our ideas can kill us. It remains to go ahead and see what the future holds.

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7.3.12

Doctor Feelgood (2011-06-26 17:07)

Yes, they are still alive: Mtley Cre. I bought a DVD with their concert in Salt Lake City. Very nice, although the drummer Tommy Lee has pulled out. Mtley without Tommy Lee is not exactly the same thing as Mtley with Tommy Lee, but thats okay. I heard a lot Girls, Girls, Girls and Doctor Feelgood in the late 80s. It was a great American band, but that did not make any success here in Brazil. They were sort of a copy of Kiss, Van Halen, all very nice, and then copied by Poison, who was also very, very cool. In the rock world, copying is not a defect: it is a tribute. I pass years without heard them, but thats okay. Things come and go. A toast to Mtley Cre !

7.3.13

Towards a grand human past (2011-06-26 18:37)

To understand the present and prepare the future, is must understand the past. Well, what past? My past? But to understand my particular past, I need to know the past of my parents, and then to my grandparents. Actually, I have to understand the past of the places where I lived, and the places where my ancestors lived. Therefore, I need to know the past of my state and my country. But to understand the past of my country, I need to understand the past of the world. But, how deep in the past the world need I to go? Actually, I need to go really deep. The human species is ancient. We bring habits which are not new. Our present was designed in the past. Our future is partially traced many thousands years, millions years back. I can not change this path, but I can try to understand it. This at least allows me to navigate on the ocean of time without the feeling of being lost. So Im not only Rosenvaldo, son of somebody and born in a such place. I am not only a Paulist, or just a Brazilian. Im not just a Western. I am from the last batch of humans, these great plagues that defy the cosmos with his stubbornness, curiosity and wit. We are, in fact, some kind of monsters very curious to know.

7.4
7.4.1

July
Another anniversary (2011-07-11 20:56)

Im celebrating my 41 anniversary. What about this? First and foremost, is that, despite everything, Im surviving. Despite what? Despite the lack of perspective, the lack of options, of hopelessness and pessimism that usually accompanies me. Its all right. The important thing is to survive. One more year. I remember having celebrated my 34 years on this blog, seven years ago. What has changed since then? Much supercial things has changed, I admit, but deep down, I do not changed much. If I changed, it was to worse. I am now an older, more bitter and more pessimistic than it was seven years ago, and I do not see any 130

solution in sight. So, Viva my forty-one years, and that I continue to live long. That I live a long, up to one hundred years, until two hundred years, until a thousand years. That I live forever, if possible. Come on that life is a dicult and bitter thing, but better alive than dead. After all, I am still a curious person, and the world always surprises me. Fascinates me the innite stupidity, the tenacity, ingenuity and weirdness of the world. If I am not an actor in the world, I am at least a good spectator. I want to live a lot yet, watching this eternal wallowing and this ow of tears that never ceases and further deepens the valley already so dark and dreary. Viva my little 41 years, and that come another one, a hundred, a thousand more. I do not get tired of living.

7.4.2

Disbelief in humanity (2011-07-20 06:34)

There are chances that draw the attention for not seem chances, but meaningful coincidences. These days, one of those coincidences occurred to me. And it seems to me signicant. On the one hand, I and my ruminations. On the other, Joo Ubaldo Ribeiro, the famous Brazilian writer. The intersection: disbelief in humanity. But how did this intersection? Then, what is the signicance of it? Finally: what consequences? I am a person who likes to read and write. So whenever I can, I follow the literary national, international scene, nally, I like literature. I like so much that in 2010 I was in Paraty city, near Rio de Janeiro, to participate in the FLIP, the Book Fair of Paraty. However this year I did not go. Could not: appointments, important tasks, life changing, other concerns. But I could have gone. There not seemed, however, so interesting the names of guests. Lie: I did not get time to see the names. My ignorance: I do not read anything about modern literature. No time. Summary: I did not go. But the news I read. And one of them caught my attention. Joo Ubaldo Ribeiro, who I knew that was and is a great Brazilian writer, Immortal of the Brazilian Academy of Letters, but whose books I do not have any and never read them. Joo Ubaldo Ribeiro had already his supposed texts widely disseminated on the Internet. Who has not received an email with the text Wanted manpower to build a country, with those powerful statements, that we, brazilians, are a smart people and here the thing is hopeless? Until then I did not know that the text Wanted ... was not his. I read the text about ten years ago, but I thought it quite hard and honest. And then, the news of FLIP corroborate this my impression about Joo Ubaldo, that, despite I knowing nothing about his literature, I had him as a person, a citizen very wise and fearless in his statements. After he assess the Brazilian people as sly trickster, he was going now with this: the pessimism in the face of humanity. This was a big chest, great courage, great honesty. But it went no beyond this simply reading, this simple statement released by all the newspapers and magazines across the country. What the hell, a phrase taken from its context can mean something quite dierent from what it really means in context. So, to not take John Ubaldo like a gritty guy based only on a short text and a line of impact, I decided to research some more. I found via Google that the text Wanted manpower to... is not his, as he conrmed on one occasion some time ago. If the text is not his, thats ne. The text itself is not the problem. The problem is an intellectual, a national gure to say what nobody wanna say, but in deep down everyone knows. There is not the issue of 131

the Brazilian trickery that is the question here, but the courage to say it and criticize it. Yes, because it is easy to criticize politicians. Dicult is to call rascal a common housewife. This requires honesty and courage. But Joo Ubaldo did not do it. So, left the phrase about the pessimism in relation to humanity. Pessimism in what context? I did not found the video recordings with his speech on FLIP, but I found the transcript. In fact, he was brave. It was even a hard phrase to say, but he said and took the credit for it. But he is neither the rst nor the most famous, nor the last of the pessimists. Then, why this his statement was so important? It was important because this is not what is expected of a Brazilian, even more now, with the economic fervor. But, even more, it was important becausein this same day, I came to a painfully similar conclusion, by other ways and by other reasons. I and Joo Ubaldo Ribeiro have some power over the destinies of the world? He maybe, I certainly do not. So what does it matter if am I or not pessimistic about humanity? And then, what does it matter to the rest of the world? Oh, the hypocrisy! Ah, the famous and bloody cognitive dissonance! I need to talk more about it all...

7.4.3

Recycling and the power of ignorance (2011-07-21 11:38)

In my green agenda I listed my second item through which I could contribute to a better world, for a world more environmentally tolerable. My item 2 says only: agenda printed on recycled paper. What I mean by that? My green agenda, as paradoxical as it seems, is not made with recycled paper. So that was my rst idea. I should think of the trees, in nature, on air quality. I thought my next diaries, notebooks, paper should be made with recycled paper. So I would save the world from destruction. Does this make sense? Does. If I spend the rest of my life using paper made from other recycled paper, I will spare many trees, which will remain alive oxygenating the planet. But why only recycle paper? Why not recycle all that I am able to consume, and it is possible to be recycled? Recycling is a great idea. She is a great idea because it refers to a natural process that is already running by nature since a billion years. In nature, recycling matches the buzzword of Lavoisier, that nothing is created, nothing is lost, everything is transformed. But look! Pay attention! Who was Lavoisier? He, see Wikipedia, is considered the father of modern chemistry. It was he who coined the buzzword of nothing is created .... However, only did so after much study. Now, many buzzwords are coined by countless people, with or without much study. So whats the merit of Lavoisier? His merit is that his buzzword was correct. Today, with over two hundred years of research in chemistry and physics and other sciences of nature, his statement remains as an unquestionable truth. So what can we say of Lavoisier? That was a lucky person? That was a genius? Well, heres what Wikipedia says: [1]Joseph-Louis Lagrange, an important mathematician, a contemporary of Lavoisier said: A century will not suce to produce a head equal to that brought down in a second. Lagrange was and still is considered a genius. So we have a genius talking about another. But look better. Lagrange states that Lavoisier was a genius of those who come around once every century or more. Mankind has to wait ages to get a head that can be made to fall in one second. Why Lagrange said that? 132

Because in fact the head of Lavoisier fell into a second, guillotined during the French Revolution. Lets see what Wikipedia says: He (Lavoisier) lived at the time they began the French Revolution, when the Third Estate (peasants, burghers and merchants) would take the power of France. He was killed by it, because it was so poorly regarded by the people, who thought that, being of a noble family, Lavoisier, also participated in the corrupt system full of taxes on society. He was beheaded after a summary trial on May 8, 1794. Then, Lagrange was right. Just one second of ignorance by losing centuries of work from the nature and decades of tireless and genial human eort. Im condemning the French Revolution? No. But Im making a connection between this text and the previous one, which I quote disbelief in humanity, quoted by Joo Ubaldo Ribeiro. The dog bites the hand that feeds him, the saying goes. How is it possible to feed hopes in a humanity that plow their best heads? If so, have hope in humanity is an exercise in faith. But look a little more! This saying, Dog bites the hand that feeds him, I know a popular saying, but from where? From what mouth it was delivered? From which culture emerged? I do not know, but I went on Google. Try it you too. It is a thankless task. But if youre smart, you will read another, as instructive as this. You will read, as a comedy, that the noblest of dogs is the hot dog: it feeds the hand that bites. It seems a joke, but it is not. So, we do not fear the collapse of the planet due to lack of paper. We can always resort to recycling, this clever mechanism that allows us to use somethingad innitum. And do not worry, because Lavoisier taught us that nothing is lost. You may want more and more with your consumerist impulse, because as much as you want, will not be able to consume all that is oered, because the universe is greater than your greed. See! There are more stars in the sky than grains of sand on Earth! Farte yourself, because we can recycle! And do not bite the hand that feeds you: always praise Lavoisier, our genius that, more nobly than just a hot dog, fed us with his wisdom, though he had to pay with his head and his life for the opportunity to serve the ignorant mob. The power of ignorance scares me, but then again maybe Lavoisier is the answer: a day, who knows, over the next centuries, because geniuses are rare and time-consuming things, a genius who will examine the nature of ignorance and be able to recycle human minds. And then, become ignorant in nobles, and some light will shine for humanity in the millennia to come. For now, defend yourself! Beware the guillotine! It is much more dangerous and imminent that the lack of oxygen and trees for our dear agendas. Beware the power of ignorance.
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Louis_Lagrange

7.4.4

Nice to meet you, Im your intranet ... (2011-07-23 06:02)

Hello, nice to meet you, Im your intranet ... With a sweet smile, so it presents to the world my personal intranet. It sounds chic and sophisticated? As well, an intranet? Oh, thats a nerd thing. Ah, this is also something of a writer. Yes, I have a small intranet, a site of my own, where I put in order a lot of things. My intranet is a strong competitor against this blog, because not everything I write I have interest in disclosing to the world immediately. Rather, the idea cooking on low heat over the months on my personal PC, to then go have a 133

presence in the online world. It is the evolution of concepts. First, we write with paper and pencil, then with pen, then with typewriters, and then we went to the computer. On the computer, we start from DOS Edit (at least I start ...) to Notepad, then to the World, then to Internet pages. So everything must end in an HTML format in somewhere site. And when it got cool and we want to do something more beautiful and denitive, we use PDF les. This is the cycle. Thus, people typically use the World doc les to keep your things more or less organized, but nothing like an intranet controlled by the Front Page to be really professional. Now, to the facts. My intranet gives me some work. It is important, but it takes time and requires some mental eort to be organized. She is not versatile in terms of organization such as Outlook, which we have explained here, but it allows a clearly very important. I have a routine of life, and I also have a routine in front of my computer. We can not live without the internet. So often we sit in front of the PC and then open our browsers, for news of the world in general. Today, for example, the main story is about the terrorist attack in Oslo, Norway. Then we go to any other sites. I, in particular, use Microsoft Internet Explorer. He has a favorite links bar. My favorites sites are arranged in sequence in my window. First, I enter the site of UOL, to read news. Then go to Google and read more news. Then take a look at Orkut, and Facebook. This is where that enter the intranet. I could spend hours browsing through thousands of interesting pages, but what my duties and obligations? They are forgotten in Outlook, which is not an application for the internet. So what I thought? I thought about using my intranet as a reminder to take care of my things in Outlook. So, after seeing my favorite sites, I go from the Facebook link to my intranet link. My intranet just gives me the warning: take care of your routines, open Outlook, do a backup, consider the millions of pending little tasks that promised to yourself realize. And nally, when Im not happy with something on my intranet, just one click and add or edit a page directly to the Front Page. This is a good routine. Then, there is this blog. But no matter. What matters is that we can not live without computers, we can no longer live navigating as if we were live a thousand years and we can not miss the millions of resources that provide us with all these technologies. If I can be more ecient and responsible with use of my time through technology, that is. My intranet, then, is there, ready to remember everything. Gradually, we know her better.

7.4.5

Advices (2011-07-23 06:40)

I read a lot. I always read. I come from a family of simple people. I had no parents with a lot of instruction. As I grew older, I learn more from books than by the teachings of others. Of course, the books are written by people, so I learned 134

things with people, but not directly. The books are then as my advisors. And I am a dedicated student. Always have been. But giving advice is one thing. Following a advice is another. Someone saying that you must do this or that is correct, but does not mean it will be easy for one who accepts the advice. Being disciplined with our learning is a hard work. A lot of work. Now, for exemple, I am struggling with my backup. This is the third or fourth time I talk about backups in this blog. This backup bothers me and scares me. It is not simply a matter of paranoia. Its a safety issue. Preserving our data is a security issue. As I said in previous post, we can not live without our computers, and if they lose, we lose part of our lives together. Moreover, how can I do anything productive today that does not involve the computer? Try to think in something that is a task and does not involve internet, technology, computers? Its hard. So how can I venture to do something knowing that I can not nish it and see everything lost for any problem? This is unacceptable. Ive been through this before and I know that when it comes to computing, it is better to do nothing than to do something and then lose everything by not having a copy of what was done. This blog is evidence that even a simple post that is lost while typing is an inestimable loss. There is no contesting the urgency of saving volatile digital data. In any case, this awareness that I need digital security is a awareness that is part of a greater consciousness that tells me I have security not only digital, but in all aspects of my life. Physical security, nancial security, emotional security, all sorts of security. No, Im not a coward. Not so. It is that I am too old to ignore the risks of the world. I do not fear losing my safety, but even so I stand waiting my security go, in any aspect of my life. Living is just this: keep yourself whole until we can, until our last breath. Then there is another problem. In so far as I know I need to take care of my safety and do not care, I can not fool me. Here is not the story of self-deception. I know Im being careless with something in my life and it is foolish to think that Im lucky and nothing will happen to me. If I careless of my safety, I worry. But I can not worry. Worry does not solve anything. Worry is like fever we feel when we are deseased. It signals something wrong with us. The solution is then not continue worrying, but to uproot the causes of our worry. But back to the advices. How do I know that any advice is useless and counterproductive? I know because I read, I studied Dale Carnegie and his book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Thats the problem. I am a disciplined student. I read, I learned and now I apply what I learned in my life. Coincidentally, I read a sentence in those days, a Chinese saying: Think of the best, prepare for the worst and move on. It is the same teaching, the same lesson, the same warning. Then I have a degree in business administration. Get a common manual of administration and will see the famous SWOT method. What says the method? Go, get out your strengths, leverage them. Take your weaknesses, minimize them. Analyze opportunities and external threats and it is ready, you already have a diagnosis for their strategic planning. SWOT is easy to recommend. Minimize weaknesses, not so. But things only happen to others. Two days ago landed the last American space shuttle, Atlantis, on his last trip, and last of all U.S. space shuttle project. It was with relief that we saw a big project end well with a soft landing and no explosions. Who does not remember the Challenger and Columbia? 135

Now, Norway account their dead, just the quiet, peaceful and rich Norway. Not that we are alarmists. Is that bad things happen to everyone, even to good people, even with the peaceful people. So, it is best to follow some advice and minimize our risk to we can maximize our potential? Yes, of course, except that everything is too much work, too much work to be taken seriously. We run the risk of fail, because there are too many threats, vulnerabilities and other risks too. Is it really worth all this eort? I do not know, but I feel that there is something that still does not t. Is missing a balance in all these advices. I smell something missing but I can not dene. I have thought about moving amoebae, but it is still early to draw conclusions. Wait ...

7.4.6

Rock seventies (2011-07-23 08:12)

Yesterday I had the opportunity to buy a DVD in Americanas Stores here in Ribeiro Preto, in Santa Ursula Mall. I say this because I write this blog not only to the world, but for me too, to after a few years I can remember I had a life like any other, and not only labor and sorrow. Yesterday, just to conrm, I did not suer one bit. It was a normal day. I bought a DVD with 70s rock. There were big names of which I had heard and even knew a few songs, but never seen on video. Black Sabbath, who had heard something. Kiss, that I love, with the classic Rock and roll all night. Deep Purple, Ive seen live in Goinia. Slade, with Cum on feel the noize, that I had heard long time ago. Grand Funk Railroad, who had never heard nor seen. Lynyrd Skynyrd, with the classic Sweet Home Alabama, which I love, had seen the video and knew the lyrics perfectly. T. Rex, who I had heard talking about, but never seen nor heard. MC5, ditto. David Bowie, who knew the legendary in 70s, but only heard and saw in the 80s, and a little bore, by the way. Suzi Quatro, I knew nothing. Alice Cooper, like Bowie, but way cooler. Peter Frampton, that I love, with Show me the way. Talking Heads, with their typical nonsense over the 80s to 70s. And nally Ramones, who knew in the 80s. You know what? I thought the look of everyone the cornier thing in the world, but in same time the most authentic thing in the world, while the most chic thing in the world. And the sound? Kiss is a show, its fantastic and are eternal. I loved Lynyrd review, and as the backing vocals are beautiful! Black Sabbath is really a classic, as well as Deep Purple with their basic guitars. I loved the old fashioned Slade. The singer looks like a werewolf. But its a nice guy, singing a lot and music is very great. It is shocking to see the mismatch between powerful sound and naive and innocent visual. 136

What a deal! I loved Slade! And I loved listening to Frampton again. Since my seven, eight years Ive heard their music. They are in everywhere. He sold millions, broke all sales records at the time and was the guy. Then disappeared from the scene. He was a legend. I see Rick Sambora from Bon Jovi and remember that weird tube, the talk box, and no denying it: rock inspired by Frampton, and the best. No extremes of Radicalism, of Puritanism, of Satanism. Only a good sound to take a road, to enjoy the energy and lift the mood. Rocks it. Long Live Peter Frampton.

7.4.7

Amy Winehouse: Too Young To Die (2011-07-26 14:16)

I told in one of my previous posts I saw a book about people who died young. And I wove my respects to them. Now its time for another tribute. Now is time to salute Emy Winehouse. Yes, Amy, you were young, too young to die. Sometimes it may seem opportunistic, but no. I actually was already a big fan of Amy before she died. I love rock, but also like a lot of other styles. I like music, like good music, without distinctions and labels. Enjoy Amy means before to enjoy all a vast musical legacy left by countless masters. I always heard the divas of jazz. Who never heard? But, music, like sports and advices, is to be experienced. A sport is to be practiced, a council is to be lived and a song is to be heard. I heard a lot of divas of jazz. I say it is not easy, because we are not accustomed to strive to establish our ears and learn to enjoy something that is excellent, but requires skill and eort. Try to listen, for example, Aretha Franklin. It is not easy. Its harsh, is smooth, it is bitter. But it is perfect. Thus, we are striving and learning to enjoy what the world has as best to oer. So when we are accustomed with divas sing, instinctively know when we hear one. Amy was so. Forget the looks, forget the hype, forget the drugs and forget about awards and video clips. Concentrate only on the sound. My wife and I spent long hours traveling across the country listening to this all, but learn to feel a particular fondness for Amy Winehouse. Your music helped make it less harsh our long and tiring hours on the road. I personally, when alone, preferring to put the song Love is a losing game to repeat endlessly. His voice was softer hard times and the heat more bearable. I never tired of hearing it, and as for Amy, I knew she was still alive, but dangerously pushing her luck. I know, we know, we all know that we expected more from her. We expected, optimistic, that all would be ended well and that we would have her for many years. But we underestimated the fragility of life, human frailty. We have seen in real time the sinking of a young woman as we have seen a reallity show, believing that everything was nothing more than another marketing ploy, a balcony over the media, another factoid to keep her in evidence in the spotlight. But we deceive ourselves. We lost Amy and now is late for any consideration. We do not end up with drugs, we will not save the world and will always remember her untimely death as more a matter of disappointment with this way of life jerk in which people live today, based on a consumerist, supercial and destructive culture. Disappointment, without further consideration, because, of course, nothing will change. So it remains salute her, recognizing that she lived as a true diva and certain that their songs will be with us 137

for a very long time, because they shine as works of excellence. It certainly will be with me for long time, I have no doubt. Amy, I salute you. Now, you are eternal.

7.5
7.5.1

August
Space is not enough in the world (2011-08-02 23:26)

I am struggling with a problem that I thought it would be trite, but it is: a lack of physical and virtual space. The lack of physical space is obvious. We are paying an absurd rent in an apartment not too big and its crowded. Many things, many books. I thought, moreover, certain that I could replace paper books for digital books. It seems that a single ash drive the size of a nger can hold my entire library that occupies an entire room, correct? But not quite. Indeed, the pen drive can contain the entire library, but if I lose the ash drive? Then I lost my entire library. So, I have several ash drives. Sure, but where Ill read the books ? I read on the screen of my PC. So, my computer, where there is much more space that a pen drive, may well have a copy of all my library, right? Not so much. I bought my computer about ve years. At the time he had a 80-gigabyte hard drive. At the time I thought it was an absurd place. But it was not. Today, there is little space in it. Somewhere around 15 gigs. It is a small space, because the operation of the micro starts to get slow, it takes time to nd things. It is distressing to know with so little leeway. Then we have another serious problem. A disk of 80 gigs with 65 gigs in use can not have a copy on a USB drive. I need an external hard drive. Then has more. Copy 65 gigabytes of information to wherever place takes a long time, and can not be done every day. And then, whats so important in these 65 gigs? I do not know, but every day my 80 gigas HD looks smaller and more crowded. This lack of digital space takes time and leaves me spellbound. Well talk about it much on this blog, you can be sure.

7.5.2

Passwords of life (2011-08-02 23:39)

My precious schedule, my precious information can not be at the mercy of a hard drive that can fail at any time. So I thought Id leave some important information in a online storage site. Well, these websites, like anything else on the Internet, requires a password to have access to our data. Then imagine that someone has access to all our online information simply because we do not create a password secure enough? So the solution is to create strong passwords. But strong passwords are dicult to remember. The solution is to write them down somewhere. But where? On paper? Not a chance. In the micro? Yes, but a list of 138

passwords need a password itself. So a long time I have used a very small program to store passwords. He is very ecient and safe, but if it fails, Im in serious trouble. Relying on a computer program that we do not know how it was created and who created it is one of the most complicated things that exist. So I lost a good time reading on how the program works, who created and how it was created. I have been searching how safe Im with him. There is a sta in the security world that says that a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. This slogan is true and deep. Digital security is a fascinating subject and Ill talk about it much in this blog.

7.5.3

Management and Ecology: the conuence of the waters (2011-08-03 00:22)

I graduated in Business Administration. Therefore, I am a trained professional in the eld of economics, which is a branch of social sciences. As a good scholar, a good reader, a good curious, I always thought that one time or another in my life I had to face the dark eld of knowledge called Philosophy. I have not studied Philosophy during the time when I attended college administration. So if I wanted to learn something about Philosophy I should be on my own. So over the years, I was buying and reading books of Philosophy. Oops! I must not lie. I was actually trying to ... just trying to read books of Philosophy. Reading a book is one thing, to understand a particular subject is quite another. Soon I begin to understand some rudiments of Philosophy, not for lack of reading, not for lack of time, nor the intelligence, that I consider reasonable. Is that the issue is thorny and I even picked out a few books very hard. But worth the eort. Fusion was made between Administration and Philosophy. Now, I thought I could start writing something about the Administration, but what? So I bought a book about Ecology. After all, I thought that everything that my little Ecological Agenda 1999 said it seemed a tremendously silly. I do not know. I always had this impression. There are some things in life that can not convince me that things are really genuine. It is always the impression that they are scams, frauds, lies and attempts to deceive us. That sounds like a kind of nose for conspiracy theories. And thats it. Ill talk more about conspiracy theories at another time, but the idea was it. Ecology has always seemed a scam, a big lie. So with the book of Ecology in hand, I went ahead. But I do not went from the rst page. Already in the rst paragraph the author, an icon in the business, promptly announces that Ecology and Economics are sciences whose names share a common origin, ie, the echo of Greek origin, meaning house, home, and are sciences that should be interrelated, but are not. Ready! I found a seam, a niche, a research opportunity, to deepen. And what did I do? I joined Administration with Philosophy and began to think something like Philosophy of Administration. Then I decided to philosophize about the connection between economics and ecology. This set of conuences has not happened in almost anything. I mean, things are always more dicult than I imagine. I bring up to now only three confused short texts and some draft with some pertinent questions. But as I said, philosophical issues are complex things. Even a small phrase can contain much hidden things. As I said, the texts are available on Scribd, but they deserve a more detailed attention here. 139

Welcome to the world of Transadministration.

7.5.4

Philosophize a little about Ecology (2011-08-03 01:21)

This was my rst text on Philosophy of Administration. ** Ecological Attitudes in 99 There are in our mass culture a desire to persuade, manipulate. An event can be analyzed under any dozens of approaches, and I could focus on a simple act, like buying a calendar, as a mere act of consumption without further implications, but I can not help analyzing this act under a point peculiar sight: the Philosophy of Administration. Why do I focus specically on the act of buying a calendar, and not in another, like smoking a cigarette or take a bus, or take out the trash? If we think we can take anything and analyze it from any angle, then why buy a calendar? And why an administrative and philosophical approach? Well, it is necessary to make a choice. Lets see. The acts and things are innite in number, and points of view, too. As a simple mathematical exercise, the combinations things x points of view also acquire innite proportions. What makes an arrangement thing x point of view especially among an innity of them, is that I made that choice. The act of buying a agenda is special interest to me in particular because of the implications that this agenda has caused. And the administrative and philosophical approach is chosen only because I am an administrator, and think from this point of view to me is a pleasurable act and more exciting than just an professional act. Aside from I being an administrator, I am, or better, I perform, several other roles in society, and can adopt a dierent approach and one other act or thing to consider, but do not feel so motivated. So it would be a waste of time trying to adopt another point of view and another one theme. Sure, I could not tell in advance whether this view is the most useful, or if there is another more productive. The question of the utility does not matter much here, since without motivation, it would not be right or guaranteed that I would be able to provide something useful from another point of view. The only guarantee I have is that, motivated, have a greater chance of producing something than being unmotivated. If I were to produce something, it is to check the post, if not useful, at least enjoyable to read. If it is pleasant, or useful, or both, my time writing was not a wasted eort. Id rather do something nice, but not necessarily useful, than something useful and unpleasant at the time of writing. Moreover, try to be useful to the world another way, if I can not be writing. Writing is, then, for me, more pleasant than a leisurely useful work. But if it can be useful, great, although it is a collateral gain. When I say that I analyze things from the viewpoint of the Philosophy of the Administration, I do it because it is a point of view that gives me pleasure, and under which it can be more lucid, creative, inspired, so to speak. I would not have so much to say or think from another point of view. But that view is this? What is the Philosophy of the Administration? Of course, as an administrator, I am a professional who attended college and completed the ritual required to perform ocially a profession. But there is no profession of philosopher of Administration. Ocially, I can manage, but philosophy is a very dierent thing. Is there some problem in an administrator to philosophize on your work area? Maybe, if he does not master the art or technique of philosophizing. Then, a professional philosopher would be more suitable to philosophize on the Administration, but then a problem arises: Administration is a technical matter that requires years of study. Can a philosopher who does not know Administration philosophizing about what he do not know? 140

On the one hand, lack to administrator the technical of philosophizing. On the other, lack to philosopher a body of knowledge on which to philosophize. Someone with training both in administration and in philosophy would be the ideal person, meet the qualications required to call himself a philosopher of Administration. In theory. In practice, we need not go that far. Owning a Business Administration course is a formality that does not give the guarantee to run well at all, nor is it an obstacle to the act of administering whatever. Administrators fail day and night, unceasingly, although administrators, and Bill Gates did not need a Administration course to get where he is. And the same is true of philosophy. Colleges put out of their classrooms thousands of Philosophy graduates every year, and we not seen armies of Platos or Sartres revolutionizing the world. And not really allowed to think. And the world continues to change with or without the help of philosophers. Ideas come and revolutions occur from as many dierent minds, most of them belonging to people who have never attended a school of Philosophy. So what prevents me from philosophizing? Or put it another way, which enables me to philosophize, since I must admit that a minimum of technique is necessary to think correctly? In fact, there is no impediment to philosophize about whatever it is, and the Internet is lled with millions of websites and forums about Philosophy, Administration, of all, where billions of people think about billions of issues. Aside from the pleasure of thinking, which is a gain to whose think, is there any gain to one who reads? I mean, the fact of thinking much does not mean to obtain as a result something interesting or useful worthy of going public. So what facts lead me to conclude that my ideas, in particular, are better, more interesting or useful than the billions of others scattered across the on-line ocean? Well, no facts beforehand can ensure the quality, so to speak, of my thoughts, but if there is any quality, it can only be evaluated and recognized if it comes to the world. While thinking, the most original idea, most revolutionary or useful to be what it is: a thought. It is inaccessible, unknown and therefore does not exist to the outside world. We need it, the idea, is verbalized, written, published, to it can be assessed. I can not be judged as a philosopher, without rst exposing my ideas. But why expose them? Why not just think them and save them to myself? Is it necessary to publish them? Well, not all. Not everything that we think is worthy of note. Some thought things should even be banned from the mind that thought. No. In fact, not all is good. So if I public something, is because apparently this is something already passed the scrutiny of some quality lter. This lter, I admit, there is. The mind is a volatile screen. We think all the time, but not everything is posting in our memory. Imagine that during a dream, is told the secret of something really rare, like a map of a very valuable treasure, the possession of which depends only to nd it. The map we see the dream is real, clear and perfect, but it is complex. Upon waking, I know that the dream is a dream, but why not register the complex map in a real sheet of paper? You never know... Ideas are, in some respects, such as treasure maps. They, like dreams, exist only in our mind. They, like maps, are complex and need to be passed to the paper, at the risk of losing the details. The ways of thinking are intricate, complicated, forked, faint. While we think, the reasoning is clear, but one minute of distraction and he dissolves like smoke. It is urgent and wise annotate them, reasoning and ideas, to x it permanently. But is the conclusion valuable? Or, put another way, does in the x of the map of the dream there is even a buried treasure? There is no way of knowing unless trying our luck and digging. It is true that we can not always test our ideas, nor we can nd for our treasures revealed in our dreams. The real world has real treasures, they know where they are, but we can not reach them, as we have wonderful ideas, however impractical. But we must not lose the map. One day, when technology allows, we comb the bottom of the seas in search of galleons full of gold and silver. One day, when possible, we will have cold fusion, lunar colonies and back in time. Good ideas and good dreams can not be forgotten. They worth 141

themselves as future promises. They challenge us to try. They are in themselves valuable treasures. Someone, an anonymous professional, decided to include in my 99 Ecoagenda a page titled Ecological Attitudes in 99. What led him to this? As I said earlier, there is in our mass culture, a desire to persuade, manipulate. Suppose this anonymous worker, when designing my agenda, was imbued with the most sincere sense of ecological awareness. Imagine that he is aware of the seriousness of the situation on the planet, decided, after much deliberation, it is not enough to do our part and inform the world about the seriousness of the situation. More is needed: we need people to change their habits. We must do something and that we do now. Yes, you know that the world is in danger, but so what? What are you waiting for action? What will you do now to help against disaster? What will you do to stop now, the black way of the situation? So stop whining and act! Make, in its Ecoagenda, a list of environmental attitudes for the year to come. Enjoy opportunity you are at the beginning of the year, are planning your future, are organizing your time, and prepare your list of good deeds. So, I suppose, was born the third page of my agenda. Fruit of the good intentions of anonymous professionals from socially responsible companies. This sounds correct and there is not much to discuss, except that, as a philosopher of Administration, I have to think a little further on the subject. As a philosopher of Administration, I see hidden connections, fallacies, implications, errors and hits in this simple schedule page, and I will dwell in it. Ecology is a global issue, and if it does not matter, should interest deeply every manager, if not all human beings on the planet. Sounds familiar? Yes, but the reasons which lead me to think this way are not necessarily those that lead the average citizen, or ecologist, to think the same subject. Again, the approach I take to Ecology is the philosophy of Administration. What is this approach? Its a dierent approach adopted by the ordinary citizen. But what the focus of the common citizen? The ordinary citizen, at least in the XXI century, live surrounded by information absolutely massive, incisive and relentless. If we approach any human being, anywhere on the planet, and ask whether he thinks the world is going well, and that the world does not present environmental problems, will be answered with a look of amazement: as the world goes well? How can it go well? As we have no problems? Of course, evident that we have problems. Everyone knows that. Children know, know the elderly, the urban and rural population knows well. As we all know this? As a perception can become so universal and unanimous? Ecological problems seem so certain as the sun shining in the sky: we all see, all feel, all conrm, and crazy is he who denies. I deny them? No, of course not. I see with my own eyes. How to deny them? Would be the case that, as geocentrism, be an environmental problem an universal error? We all know that the Earth revolves around the Sun and the sunrise and sunset only means that the Earth rotates around its axis every twenty-four hours. But we like to think and say that it is the Sun revolves around the Earth. It is more convenient and intuitive. The reason is A, and we accept A, but we like to feel and think B, we know rationally be just an illusion. Romanticism? Maybe. The ecological problem is an illusion that we intuit wrong? Would, indeed, the world has never been so safe and harmonious? Will humanity, indeed, the blessing for the planet and, polluting it, balancing an equation that never aligned itself, delivered to a Darwinian past of pure chance? I would not know the answer to that question. What is certain is that common sense intuit to the contrary, and struggle to rebalance a world being destroyed, whose cause is human, and personalized. Common sense intuit, and information ows is that we are guilty, 142

I, you, personally, to the cosmic drama of the Earth. We are guilty, and we feel this guilt, and make with this guilt a motivator for us to do something for the planet. We have to do something urgently. It would be too selsh to see the world going to sink and stay after watching passively, comfortably wedded to our habits of harmful consumption. We must do something and this something obviously means sacrices. As in religion, in ecological theology there is no space for salvation without sacrice. For the sake of greater justice the blame should fall on others, whether these other governments, companies or the devil, but we have to personally do our part. And we accept this guilt as a fait accompli, although not always we do specic acts necessarily according to this guilt, because, sometimes even we dont know how we are contributing to the boat sink. I did not began to sink the boat, but I have to get my bucket and do my part, otherwise, I sink together. They say the simple fact that I is on the boat makes me guilty for he was going to sink. I wonder how this is possible, and if it would be the case of my own weight to be helping to sink a boat overloaded. This may be the case, but deep down, I can not see the connection between merely existing innocently and be blamed for the end of the world, but yet I willingly accept the blame for exist, my share of guilt, democratically distributed, and try with my small bucket, help save the ship. This is common sense, but why do I accept in silent my democratic share of blame? In general, because I do not want to be seen as the selsh, the villain. I know that, in the end, if the boat sinks, the guilty will pay the price for failure, and I know everyone will pay, because all are guilty, just that they exist, but I also know that the selsh will take a greater punishment, because the boat could have been saved if these same selsh would have helped. I do not want to be an opportunist. But how can we be opportunistic if, by being selsh and not helping, we will perish together with the others? What is the gain of the selshness, if the selsh also dies in the end? Dying rested? So may he rest forever. Is that the disaster is not for today or tomorrow. Its for the day after tomorrow, and hopefully for next week. But next week, I will no longer be on the boat, I hope. But there is no way out of the boat. The boat is the Earth, the Earth itself, and there is no escape. And even if the disaster is for a hundred years, and we are no longer here, it is wrong to let our children and grandchildren pay the price for our neglect. And even if we have no children and grandchildren, is even more wrong than the children and grandchildren from others, who fought for the salvation of the world, pay the price for my negligence alone. Anyway, even if I, a villain, ardently wishes to end the chaos, it is not easy to admit my intentions publicly to a future grandmother, admitting to her that I want the chaos to his grandchildren and great grandchildren to come. You can be selsh and even the villain, but not publicly. There are limits to selshness and mankind does not admit unpunished selsh when it comes to ecology. The price is too high to admit traitors. Thus we are compelled to do something for the cause, are socially forced to take our bucket and at least pretend to do our part, though deep down, we may be worshiping the arrival of the inevitable chaotic end. And so, our anonymous professional, moved by altruism or fear, or even coerced by his boss, created a page urging us to ecological action in 1999. Many do not read it, many read, but did not make the list of good deeds. Many have made the list, but not followed through. Many followed the list and stop there. And many have been fullled the list and went ahead. The anonymous professional was, then relatively successful in its purpose. But what he did, after all? Why he did not merely do their part? He actually did more.

He does not show us that he is doing his part, because we do not know who he is and if he is responsible, ecologically speaking, in his private day-to-day. What he did, and we know for sure he did was encourage us to act. He told us, tried to motivate us, tried to convince us, or even tried to convert us, evangelize us. If he practices what he preaches is another question. Finally, ecological information does not mean ecological action, as reading a book about a marathon does not make us move a single step. Motivates us? Maybe. Command? Very likely. But we obey? Almost always, no. We act? Rarely. 143

We feel guilty? Indeed, in 99 % of the time. The action in the world of information is rare, but guilt is certain. Propagation of information is not the same as the propagation of action, I conclude, and in this nding, were not talking about ecology, but of psychology, sociology and even Administration, Policy and Marketing. We penetrated even in the eld of mathematics, if we allow ourselves to go a little deeper into the issue. Why the anonymous professional, aware of his ecological duty, not merely to do his part, without preaching to other about their duties, intruding thus into other peoples lives? But, say the anonymous professional in his own defense, but Im just doing my part, and it includes informing. Right. Do your part, but know that your part is subdivided into two other parts: action and inform. Act and report. That was the task of the disciples at the beginning of Christianity: to preach good news. And it worked. The idea is to act, and then propagate the action by using information. But why not just acting? Obviously, it seems that the simple act is not enough. What good is our anonymous professional been ecologically correct, he and he alone, in a world full of ignorant of their environmental responsibilities? There are actually a thousand reasons to inform, to preach and evangelize. Reasons ranging from the most altruistic to the selshness. And there are a thousand ways to spread some information. Ways that range from the most meticulous, artful, ecient and planned to unintended, unwanted, distorted and disastrous. Information, in a sense, is not under the control of anyone. An act can be interpreted in dierent ways, and seen the wrong way, even an oil spill, as in the case of the Exon Valdez, can be interpreted as an greener act. The interpretation of information is that gives it meaning. And unless you live in a cave, there is no way not to be seen, and thus have their actions, ecological or not interpreted by others who see it. View is to receive information, and who sees, interprets. Things propagate themselves. The secret lies then in the interpretation. But our anonymous professional was not simply seen and interpreted. He planned. He purposed to inform and convince us to act. Why? Because, is common sense, the ecological problem is too big to be solved by just one part of humanity. Not only governments, not only ecologists, not only industries, not just the heroic citizens. All, united, and only all united is the condition, without which you can not save the world. But why the problem requires much eort to be solved? Because it is immense. He is immense because a huge amount of people, for a long time, helped to provoke it. There is a clear intuition that a large amount of people doing the wrong thing for a long time in order to cause a big problem, if not corrected, will end up with everyone. Unless corrected, but as it is a big problem, the x requires a lot of people doing the right thing for a long time. It seems obvious. Hiroshima in the same category of problems? And Chernobyl? And the Exxon Valdez? Maybe then the Sahara? Or, the Armistice of 1918? Could it be that every problem must follow this same equation? Im not suggesting sleight of hand, but almost. The connection cause-problem-solving is not as obvious as it seems, and when we got in this connection, were not talking about Ecology, but the Philosophy of Science. For common sense, the ecological problem is obvious. For Philosophy, not so much. For the administrator, well, we still have not addressed the ecological problem from the point of view of the Administration. Even touched on the relationship. Until now, we limit ourselves to an approach from the point of view of common sense. But is the case that we face the ecological problem as a management problem? I think so, but rst we need to clarify what I mean by management, and I then justify my belief that the ecological problem can be seen as an administrative problem. Actually, I think that can be seen as more than a single problem. The ecological drama can be sliced in dierent 144

directions by the administrator, and have those slices analyzed by the philosopher of Administration. Maybe its time to think better about what we mean by the Administration. Again, there is the Administration from point of view of common sense and the Administration from point of view of the Philosophy of Administration. First things rst, from simple to more complex, in content and in time. *** Original date of creation of the document: Thursday, September 7, 2006, 19:00 Well talk in more detail on almost all issues discussed above, but not now. Now, lets change the subject.

7.5.5

Unnished truths (2011-08-03 02:20)

Ive always said here about the past, my past, past the place where I lived, the past of mankind. I also said that perhaps only the History, as organized science and with its own methods, is capable of allowing us to organize our ideas and our mass of information and record everything to the world, if we wish so. But beyond History as a science, there is the History as a collection of narrated facts. They are exactly the historical facts that are the object of study by History as a science. So I sought some help in both stories. And they have generated more questions than certainties. Lets see. I sought a book called What is History?, by a renowned British historian Edward Hallet Carr. But it is not easy. There is much doubt about what is a historical fact, and the questions are multiple. Also sought an Atlas of Human History. He begins not with History but with the Pre-History. Mankind existed long before written records on which is based on the traditional History. Our past is written in the rocks, the fossils, the bones, in the unfathomable. Thus, the methods of the science of History is not encouraged me to go deeper into the question, because I am not a historian, although the subject is fascinating, and the facts of prehistory (because we humans are shaped by an accumulation of facts which go back thousands, millions of years) did not allow me to go beyond what already had some notion, that we are descendants of a series of common ancestors, etc.., because I am not an anthropologist. Our past is not a lie. He is a unnished truth. Edward Hallet Carr died without completing a second edition of his important book. Much of the introduction of the issue at hand should have a commentator who is responsible for ensuring the intellectual legacy of Carr, who left only to this second edition a pile of boxes of clippings and notes and drafts that leads to the conclusion that much more could still be said, improved and enhanced on the theme of History as science, which is not surprising, but that a persons life, however much alive, is still too small to play forward even relatively small projects, such as a second edition of a book. And today I read an article about anthropology, actually one of many that are advertised week after week, about a new discovery, a new fossil, a new dental arch, a new subspecies, nally, one more link in the chain of ancestors lost in time and in the rocks around the world. Our history as a specie is still an unnished truth. It is also my life a unnished truth? I do not know, but I have to understand this business of unnished truth. 145

7.5.6

Many books (2011-08-03 04:18)

I have many books. Really many. Almost 1400 of them on paper and almost as much in digital format. There are nearly 3000 books. How this came to happen in my life? This mountain of things to read in a short and troubled life? Its that I bought no them all at once. They were gradually being bought. They are years and years buying books. But I read them all? No, of course not. But anyway, I read very, very much. The interesting thing is that I do not buy books by chance. I do not buy only to buy. I have a method. I buy and read books in a certain order. A book pulls other. A subject pulls other. A theme pulls another. A curiosity pulls another. A problem arises another. A novelty leads to another. A project takes another and so, Ill buy and read books without stopping. But what was my rst book? It was she, herself, the Holy Bible. Of course, the Bible was not the rst book I bought, but it was the rst that I read. My rst book, my right, was Adventures of Xisto, but even that was no bought, but earned. The rst book I bought was not exactly a book but a magazine, about electronics! There are so many stories behind so many books ... I have to tell all.

7.5.7

Me and my computers (2011-08-03 04:48)

I have said about my books, but I must tell about my computers. I bought my rst PC in 1994. Then I bought another in 1996. After another in 1999. Then another in 2006. Then another in 2007. Altogether, I had ve computers. Each one has a dierent story. Apart from dozens of machines which used in many places where I worked. My relationship with the computer, then, has lasted seventeen years. It is no small thing. How it all began? It started a long time ago, with concepts that are part of the culture of an era, dating back even to 70s. It is curious that we have no notion that were putting bricks in building something big and important, even though we know that the informatics and the computers are part of a revolution that we know to be happening. Build something without a plan is both exciting and scary. Informatics is a matter to which we are not stop talking abundantly here.

7.5.8

Entropy and creaking cars (2011-08-03 05:06)

I try to be productive, but it is not easy. Yesterday I spent all day running from shop to shop to solve minor problems in my car, which is not new, nor perfect. First, yesterday, a accid sound and squeaks in the tire front right. Flat tire? We stopped at a gas station 146

and calibrate the tire. But the noise continued. Untied cap? Could be. I avoid, but eventually end up rubbing the tires on the curb, in the rush to get out of the way in the crowded streets of the modern world, where there is one car for every two human beings. I take the hubcap and the noise decreases, but not at all. I look for a mechanic the next day. And so I do. I go to the rst store. Change all caps. Then go to one second store and change a light bulb. Then I go to a third store, and we have stirred the suspension, the exhaust, but nothing. The creaking continues. Lets go, because it is night. We tried a fourth store at a mall, and there they try a fourth way, and say the problem is over, but were leaving at ten oclock at night and the damn creaking continues. In the meantime, I could have made great strides in a lot of important areas of my life, but did not. Taking care of the car is urgent. But is it important? Now, all the textbooks about time management are clear: we must distinguish the important from the urgent. I say that the manuals need a little more depth. This distinction simply did not work yesterday. It did not work because life is not easy. There is not a single administration manual that talks about entropy. And the manuals do not talk because this is not a concept of social sciences, but sciences of nature, physics, more appropriately. But without understanding the entropy, it is dicult to understand that we must pass oss daily, as we keep our cars safe, but not let us save the world. Only the entropy explains the continuity of life requires eort, much eort. If administrators and economists knew more about the concept of entropy, life could be better. Urgent things are important. Are urgent precisely because they are important! Or not?

7.5.9

Fat, mysterious and cannibal brain (2011-08-03 05:41)

After studying a little about the human brain, it seems he is very, very mysterious. Then, suddenly, he surprises us with this news of a study done by researchers at the Department of Medicine at Yeshiva University in New York, published in the journal Cell Metabolism, that he can eat himself if we were to lose weight. This is surprising, though disappointing. Surprising, because I never imagined that a body could consume themselves to save the organism as a whole. All right, we burn fat, muscles and everything else in case of need, but eating the brain itself? This is very bizarre. Then it makes sense he sacrice himself, if the goal is to save the whole. There are even cases of people with brains nearly absent. It is also bizarre that we can survive with a minimum amount of neurons, which cut o chickens, or acephalous cockroachs, or like humans with tiny brains as lizards. On the other hand, it no makes sense to accumulate resources to the point of staying obese, with clogged veins and die of heart attacks. What is the logic to accumulate so much? But the most interesting is the consciousness. Whence come, how acquires identity and personality? Speaking more personally, because I am who I am and not someone else? Best: Why I am a person and not a cow or a sh? Speaking further, why be who I am today and not yesterday or tomorrow? How to unravel the mystery of consciousness? I tried The Mystery of Consciousness by Antonio Damasio, but the entropy does not leave. I have to back up and x squeaks and make nancial transfers and payments. Keep running modern life has a tremendous 147

cost in time. I need to read Damasio. I need!

7.5.10

The third attitude (2011-08-03 06:14)

The third ecological attitude that I proposed to myself in my 1999 Ecological Agenda was to recycle packaging (bags) plastic to garbage. What we have here? First, as I said before, here is the good faith and gullibility of a good citizen trying to do their part in saving the world before the global catastrophe of the destruction of nature. Now, plastic, poorly degradable, existing in millions of shopping bags certainly represents a threat to nature. It no makes no sense to simply throw plastic shopping bags in the trash. It is possible that we use them a few times, or at least that retain and recycle them. And, although I do not believe much in this whole story about these damn little plastic bags, did my part. Today, just have a large plastic bucket where I joined plastic bags day after day, year after year, so that if, and certainly when, they are thrown all together in a single day and collected by the usual garbage, they will certainly be exploited by those who have to use them, or be mixed with the rest of the garbage, and have the same fate as if they were not joined, but thrown in the trash every day, as I had never proposed to myself the task of recycling it. The third attitude, gentlemen, is a meaningless idiocy. So meaningless that the correct solution was given by a law that simply prohibits them. And I know that this law was only possible because many before me tried to do exactly as I did, and reached the same conclusion: there is no way of giving a target environmentally friendly to these damn little plastic bags. I even thought about solutions, but nothing has inspired me to go ahead. One of these days I talk about some ideas that I had to put an end to these little plastic bags . Then I saw that the problem was deeper. It seems a joke, but it was just a joke that made me think about it. Want to know the joke? It is to laugh, not cry...

7.5.11

What are diskettes? (2011-08-03 19:33)

I said one of these previous posts I had multiple computers over these past seventeen years. So, there are much tings stored in the form of bits. because I am curious, I remembered that I still have boxes with old diskettes of 1.44 mega, those old squares. Incidentally, my computer still has a drive that reads it. Something unnecessary and outdated, certainly, when a single and cheap ash drive with 2 gigabytes can store data equivalent to about 1,400 little bums diskettes. But I still have them: 43 of them. One part is in two plastic boxes, each seven disks. I read all obviously doing a virus scan, because these old things are not necessarily safe. In all, I read 14 oppy disks, but they were all empty. Mere relics of a time 148

gone by. What to do with them? Throw in the trash? Use in an emergency? I do not know. Maybe I shoot some pictures of them and then put it in the trash. Some have labels with le names. What do they remind me? Thats all thats left to do: remember how we use it, as objects of remembrance. Farewell, oppies.

7.5.12

New look (2011-08-13 14:04)

I changed the look of this blog. Now, use a pastel, which resembles paper, which inspires me to write more and better. Any kind of notebook, either on paper, such as 3M Post-it, or digital, such as Outlook, the Windows Taskbar, and others, like the IPad are all in that tone of brown old paper. This is a delight. Now, my blog is like that. Good reading.

7.5.13

Jani Lane: Too Young To Die (2011-08-13 17:42)

It is with regret that I got the news of the death of Jani Lane, the former lead singer of rock band Warrant. Yes, I know that hardly anyone knows about this band, the Warrant. I also know that nobody cares about Jani Lane. Another drug addict who dies due to abuse and wild living, they say. But things are not quite like that. I am of the generation that grew up listening to heavy metal in the late 80s. I loved the hard rock of bands such as Warrant. They, the hairy rockers could even be drug users or addicts beverages, hooligans, but no matter. This was and is part of rock n roll. But they were our idols. The Warrant was never a very famous band outside the United States, but even so, who was a fan of hard rock music knew them, and they had a great poser look. Many did not like, but many liked. I loved it. But Jani Lane is, personally speaking, even more important. People think of rock as people inaccessible. Yes, they are even, when they are at the height of his fame, and many of them continue to ee from ordinary people for all life. But not Jani Lane. Roni, my younger brother, left Brazil in 1993. Jani Lane left Warrant in 1992. They two met sometime between 1993 and 1998 in Winnipeg, Canada. My brother lived there and knew who was Jani Lane. One day, Jani was playing in a bar in Winnipeg in the vicinity of where my brother lived. And then, Roni went to the show. The bar was small and the public was not very big. At the end of the show, Roni had the opportunity to talk personally with Jani Lane. I do not know what they talked about, nor how long. But Roni told me about this meeting with great pride, because, after all, Jani Lane was a great singer from a great band that had great success and sold several million records. Its not everyday that we nd people like that. And is not every day that people like that allow ordinary people like me and Roni, to approach and talk like normal human beings. 149

After this meeting, I always had great aection for Warrant and Jani Lane. I bought their albums, now in CD format, which did not exist here at the time they were successful. Of course I dare not rock every day. In fact, I have many sounds I buy CDs and keep more fondly as a reminder to listen to every day. So, I got the CD and Warrant consider this a tribute to the band. They did a great sound. Now, after years, I have 41 years. Roni will be 39 soon. Jani died at 47. It was a little older than us.

He was a guy who was not in the media, but it does not matter. It was and will always be the Jani Lane, the guy from Warrant, the guy who played in Winnipeg and talked to my brother like a normal guy. And now hes dead. A guy too young to die. Jani Lane, here is my tribute. Now, you too are eternal!

7.5.14

Super 8 and the best of worlds (2011-08-13 21:37)

After getting curious about the poster of Super 8 lm, I researched a little about what would and, well, it was a Spielberg movie, talked about a train that derailed and something like an alien that would follow. Ready. That was enough for me. I love things about extraterrestrials. The movie hit theaters yesterday and I went watch it. My wife was disappointed. I, yes too, I can not deny, but not quite. Lets look at why.

In fact the alien spider-shaped (ops!, should not say anything about the rest of the lm not to frustrate the expectations of those who have not watched!) Is only a secondary character. What is cool, and this is clear in the movie all the time, is that something is happening in 1979 and it was before the digital age. It is a ood of nostalgia and its pretty cool. My wife lived her youth and adolescence in the 90s, so could not miss a walkman or recrackers and made models of trains for kids. But I, yes. I also made my models so I understood the message of the lm.

Yes, kids today are missing something important when it ceases to do many of the older things we did. On the other hand, the kids of today enjoy certain things that wed love to enjoy when we were kids. Who would not want to have Internet and video games like today? So, I concluded, the best of worlds, perhaps, would be a combination of the two best times. Yes, powerful gaming, but also cool places, cool activities, which currently do not have and not do anymore. I doubt very much that the kids today would dare to record a video like the kids in the movie, or do things that we, I, my brothers and our friends, we would in real life.

What we did? Oh, a lot. Nothing that looks like what a kid does today. We were terrible!

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7.5.15

Conserving energy (2011-08-14 12:09)

After I propose to stop smoking, using recycled paper notebooks and using better supermarkets plastic bags, I was forced to think of a fourth means of contributing to the preservation of nature. So, we lived the time of the risk of blackout energy of the Cardoso government, nothing more obvious thing to do: save energy. Okay, but how? Not washing our body? Living in the dark? Do not watch TV or internet? No, I could not think of anything very sophisticated at the time, because I lived in a cubicle that did not consume very little electricity. The only sensible action that I thought was replace my common incandescent bulbs with electronic bulbs, most economical, durable and expensive.

What was the result? I do not know. There are no real ways to measure the impact of isolated individual actions like this. Then, my life was increasing, I was moving to bigger houses, buying more electrical gadgets and today, I paid a fortune to use energy. I do not know if we still live so intensely the risk of blackouts in Brazil, but that time was important for learning the Brazilian people in general, who became more rational in relation to electricity. Still using electronic lamps, now a little cheaper. I think people should even do your duty and save what you can, but I think there are limits and there is no way in the end, we must build more electrical plants. This somewhat resembles these games administration of cities and farms, such as Sim City or Farmville, but what more can I think? What will live forever in the same level of consumption?

Sure, new technologies will reduce energy consumption through more economical products, but in the meantime, we consume without fear of blackouts. This reminds me of a story I once saw in TV in these news programs at lunchtime, when we normally see local reporters doing unimportant matters, but curious. A reporter bothered to mention the theme of the popular economy. How can people be economical. And of course, the thing descended into the anecdote. Soon, there was talk of the Avars, the miserable, the hand-to-cow, those kind of people who save not only out of necessity but for pleasure or addiction. This is a serious matter and well discuss it in the future, but back to the story, the reporter came, through clues from neighbors, at a poor and simple man, a resident of those little towns in countried areas, those that living in simple houses with used worn and old furniture.

It was not just a matter of saving, but of addiction, but a kind of addiction coming from a simple drug addict and worthy of compassion, because really simple and with not much money. The person in question, a thin old man sixty years old, more or less, looking worn out by life, was proud of his habit. Finally, the reporter asked for an example of their diligence in saving. The old man then came the little room of his house, grabbed the clock hanging on the wall and turned it around. He then placed two small batteries in the device and it started working. The reporter asked what that meant and he said that batteries cost money. Soon, there was no point getting the clock running, showing the time for no one and consuming the battery if the resident was not in home. So whenever he comes out, he took the batteries, and when he returned, replaced batteries, adjusted clock pointers and life went on. There is a profound lesson to be learned in this story.

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7.5.16

Rights and duties (2011-08-14 12:39)

When I talk about this blog and on their function or mission, it seems to me even if it exists so I can record my ideas. Maybe so, but I must tell myself that I do not live according to this blog, nor my agenda Ecological or 99 depending on the Internet, even according to record ideas or memories. No. All that is secondary in my life. I have more important things to do. The objectives of life are not things clear, but for me it is clear that I do not live in the light of saving the world atavs of ecological actions. Also do not live according to write blogs or anything. I do not think you can live in the light of what I write, and that nobody reads. I do not believe that I can also perform as a human being simply because of my work, which few know and never talk. Still do not know how I can make myself as a human being, but certainly not through work. Quando falo sobre esse blog e sobre sua funo ou misso, parece a mim mesmo que ele existe para que eu possa registrar minhas ideias. Pode at ser, mas preciso que eu diga a mim mesmo que eu no vivo em funo deste blog, nem de minha Agenda Ecolgica 99 nem em funo da Internet, nem mesmo em funo de registrar ideias ou lembranas. No. Tudo isso secundrio em minha vida. Tenho coisas mais importantes a fazer. Os objetivos de vida no so coisas claras, mas para mim claro que no vivo em funo de salvar o mundo atavs de aes ecolgicas. Tambm no vivo em funo de escrever blogs nem nada. No acredito que possa viver em funo das coisas que escrevo, e que ningum l. No acredito tambm que possa me realizar como ser humano simplesmente em funo de meu trabalho, do qual nunca falo e poucos sabem. Ainda no sei de que forma posso realizar-me como ser humano, mas certamente no atravs do trabalho. Na verdade, essas tarefas ecolgicas so imposies que vem de fora. A sociedade exige que eu tenha lmpadas eletrnicas. Somente isso. No fosse a dureza da realidade da vida e suas necessidades urgentes, no perderia um segundo de minha vida pensando em lmpadas e sacolas de plstico. Vivemos boa parte do tempo falando de sonhos e objetivos de vida, mas esses so apenas frgeis direitos. Na verdade, pouco podemos fazer por eles. Somos massacrados por deveres impostos pelo mundo moderno. Fazer um backup no um sonho, uma necessidade. Trocar amortecedores de carros, idem. Ento, vivo em funo de que? Eu vivo, ns vivemos, em funo de no deixar desmoronar nosso padro e estilo de vida. Vivemos como equilibristas, tendo como consolo nossas bugigangas, que compramos e mal compreendemos, porque nos falta tempo e nos falta pacincia. Eu me frustrei com Super 8 porque esperava mais de Spielberg. Perdoe-me, mas eu posso fazer melhor que isso. Posso escrever sobre co cientca melhor que a maioria das coisas que so mostradas todos os dias, baboseiras para adolescentes que nos fazem rir. Posso, mas no posso. Tenho o potencial, mas no o tempo, a determinao e a motivao. Escrever para que? como esse blog. Escrevo apenas para mim. Ningum o l. Ento, por que mais co cientca? Os deveres so mais importantes. As sacolas de hoje so urgentes e portanto no permitem que pensemos no futuro da humanidade. paradoxal: no morreremos devido a sacolas de plstico. Pensamos nelas porque nos preocupamos com as geraes futuras. Mas se nos preocupssemos com as geraes futuras, pensaramos mais no futuro e menos no hoje. Mas as sacolas de hoje, um problema futuro, no permitem que pensemos na soluo de problemas futuros. Bela situao!

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Edited: April 28, 2013