1/26/2011 Picks of the Past: Stephanie Pakrul

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Picks of the Past: Stephanie Pakrul

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Stephanie Pakrul

The problem with being a music fan who doesn‘t possess any musical talent, is that continuous
exposure to genuinely accomplished people can be damaging to one’s already pathologically low self-
esteem. Not that I’m like that, of course. No siree...that was just a “hypothetical”. However, if I were
like that, then Stephanie Pakrul would be the type of person who could potentially make me question
what I’m doing with my lame existence.

That’s because Stephanie Pakrul is something of a Renaissance woman. Music is just one facet of
her life -- a life that she has made available to the world, with a sense of unabashed openness, via her
impressive personal website. Therefore, no review of Ms Pakrul’s music would be complete without at
least mentioning this portal to the rest of her life. “Steph the Geek” indeed!

On to the music: Not A Victim is the self-released debut from this multi-talented Toronto resident. The
stories told are mostly autobiographical, and they focus primarily on the interpersonal and sexual
dynamics of relationships. And while just about every artist out there has songs about sex, far too few
of them have the kind of refreshingly progressive attitude about it that Ms Pakrul does.

Although the album does not fall neatly into the Goth genre, Not A Victim certainly has its darker
moments. Most of the songs use piano as a foundation, and Ms Pakrul seems to prefer the black
keys. Guitar, bass and drums are then layered in sparingly (or not) for the proper effect. Vocally, she
sounds disarmingly sweet. Some of her intonations are reminiscent of Kate Bush, particularly from
the latter’s younger years -- when she was Stephanie Pakrul’s age, in fact.

The song structure is often unconventional. This is not a crime. In fact, it reminds me of the band
That Dog -- not the music, but the fact that Anna Waronker and Petra Haden once admitted to being a
bit embarrassed that none of the songs on their first two albums contained a chorus. Hey, that was
one of the reasons I lik ed That Dog! Anyway, while Ms Pakrul does grace most of her songs with a
well-conceived chorus, she still eschews the traditional verse-chorus-verse-hook-bridge-chorus
structure. Of course, if traditional song structure were an absolute prerequisite for your listening
pleasure, then you probably wouldn't be listening to this station in the first place.

In terms of production, “Return to Myself” is the gem of the album. It’s the sort of big, grand ballad that
one might hear on the soundtrack to a major Hollywood drama. This is quite an accomplishment,
considering the extremely limited studio time that Ms Pakrul admitted to having for this album. Also
outstanding is “T.P.E.”, with its extended, “Tubular Bells”-esque intro. A sexual psychodrama – or a
psycho sex-drama – the song deals with the breakdown of a dom/sub relationship, in which the
dominant experiences more discomfort than she would normally inflict. Although it is difficult to see
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1/26/2011 Picks of the Past: Stephanie Pakrul
how her partner could not take her seriously when she says, If you ever say her name / I will
personally mak e sure / That you never speak again.

Relationships can suck, but being single can be worse. In “A Schoolgirl’s Plea” we see how the act of
dating brings out conflicted feelings of angst and bravado in a young woman – and ultimately, the
recognition of how lonely she really is: You must be wondering how I sleep at night, k nowing how
lonely / I’ll be when morning comes.

But one of the best tracks, “Anthem for the Perverted”, is saved for last. At first, it lures you in with the
opening bars of “Return to Myself”. Then, right when you’re about to check if your CD player or iPod is
working properly, the song shifts into its real intro, which is an even darker, sparer melody. Lyrically,
however, the song is the opposite of a tease: Come inside my dirty mind / You might find that you lik e
it.

Not A Victim is clearly not to everyone’s taste, and I won’t pretend that it is. Still, if this is sounding
like a puff piece, it’s because Stephanie Pakrul the person impressed me as much as Stephanie
Pakrul the artist. If all artists were computer geeks, then they would all probably share every aspect of
their lives with the public, as Ms Pakrul does. The fact that everyone doesn’t do this is what makes
Stephanie Pakrul a little bit more special.

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