The Proposition of Certain Atmospheric Revisions

& Code of Conduct Amendments

By Isaac Szijjarto

In recent weeks, I have been asked if I would be interested in participating in the

current reformation of the Code of Conduct (henceforth referred to as the “Code”). As
such, I wish to accept this invitation to offer my opinions in an attempt to improve the
atmosphere, productivity, and competence of this institution. In the first place, I have
several propositions that are intended to decrease the volume of the classrooms. Second, I
propose to improve the quality of conversation, insofar as our female counterparts have
many reasons to despise modern (de)masculinity. Finally, I propose to exhort my peers to
be more productive with certain and appropriate forms of positive pressure. I believe that
these amendments to the Code will serve to increase the productivity, competence, and
sanity of the students that I interact with on a daily basis.
When it comes to the matter of volume in the classroom, I propose to amend the
Code in the following ways, insofar as most people share my disposition towards
increased productivity when the classroom is quiet(er). Firstly, I would ban conversations
determined by the staff to be excessive, irrelevant, irreverent, trite, and unconstructive in
a classroom’s atmosphere. Secondly, I would ban the use of mp3 players, iPods, phones,
and Walkman CD players in the classroom when such technology is used to distract one’s
own person and to disrupt his peers. (I have no quarrel with those who are on standby
with regard to their employers or those who use outdated technology to utilize their
pleasure.) Thirdly, and lastly, I would encourage students who have been asked to switch
seats or to leave the classroom to postpone their law careers and debate club participation
until a more appropriate time insofar as the principle of “Sola Magister” (“Teacher
Solely;” that is, the sole authority of the teacher) applies within the confines of the
classroom. It is quite obvious that the results of negative peer pressure have a most
unseemly effect upon relationships between teachers and students. In sum, I believe that
these measures would, if implemented, improve the sensibility and competence of the
classroom’s operations, which will therefore improve the productivity and scores of the
students, insofar as students may enjoy texting, instant messaging, and Gothic hip-hop
during the graveyard shift in the comforts of their own caves, trees, bomb shelters or
wherever else they may reside.
Then, when it comes to conversations outside of the classroom, the tastelessness
of my peers, especially when in mixed company, can be extremely despicable. While I do
not expect my peers to familiar with chivalry or old-fashioned forms of etiquette, I do not
believe it is an unreasonable thing to discourage unruly conversation. Thus, I propose to
ban the use of certain unseemly adjectives and derogatory terms that are widely
considered inappropriate in any context, much less the context of a Canadian institution
as distinguished as the Education Centre. This is the least that my male peers could do, if
we intend to have any chance whatsoever of undoing our deservedly negative reputation.
Thus, I think that this will indirectly improve productivity, but more specifically, I think
that this will improve the social aspect of our educations.
Finally, it seems apparent that we, as fallen humans, are inclined to be lazy and to
procrastinate. However, we are also prone to being influenced by hints and small
reminders. Thus, in an attempt to help young people resist their inclinations towards a
lack of productivity, I would encourage the use of slogans on posters, teacher’s shirts,
bulletin boards, etc., that would promote good study habits. For example, would the
statement, “The harder you work, the more pleasure you will have later,” not provoke
 The Proposition of Certain Atmospheric Revisions
& Code of Conduct Amendments
By Isaac Szijjarto

thought? What would happen if peers were encouraged to use peer pressure to encourage
higher productivity? I propose that these measures would contribute to student
productivity.
In conclusion, we must understand that productivity is the principal thing when it
comes to education. Education is about being productive now to improve productivity
later. Thus, institutions and schools should aim to improve productivity by implementing
a variety of measures. Insofar as today’s average young person is less prudent than
yesteryear’s average young person was, there should be an even greater emphasis on
productivity. Therefore, it is upon these grounds that I am in favour of shushing the
classroom, eliminating distractions, emphasizing propriety, and using positive peer
pressure – all to improve the productivity of my peers and myself. I implore you to be
innovative and to utilize “radical” methodologies to improve productivity.
Addendum: Insofar as the majority of the people I interact with on a daily basis
are simply unable to endure literary torture, as exemplified in this document, I wish to
thank you for taking the time to read my admittedly lengthy thesis, tolerating my unique
and dry sense of humor (even if the winter climate here is quite damp!), and being patient
with my long and drawn-out explanations.

Isaac Szijjarto

February 18, 2011