How does this change what we are doing now?
Nothing has to
Spring 2011
Welcome to our first ever Missouri Survivor’s Outreach Services
(SOS) Newsletter!!!! This is for you. You are the only ones who
know what helps, what doesn’t and what you need. So make this
your voice and submit articles, photos, suggestions for
improvements, artwork, share your memories or just read it and
hopefully you will have a smile when you put it down after
learning something useful. Your input is encouraged and
welcome.
SOS News
More SOS to go around.
SOS now has over 350 staff members to assist and support
Surviving Families worldwide, what an amazing team. What this
means for Missouri Families is we have more SOS so you may
not have to travel as far to receive the services you want or need.
Let me introduce the whole team:
Ray Wadley is a Support Coordinator with the National Guard in
Jefferson City. (573) 638-9500 ext. 7784
Raymond.Wadley@us.army.mil
Regina Turner is a Support Coordinator with the National Guard
in Springfield. (417) 496-7940
Regina.Turner1@us.army.mil
Robert Sheahan is a Support Coordinator with the National
Guard in East St. Louis. (618) 558-4196
Robert.Sheahan@us.army.mil
Mark Dunlop is a Financial Counselor with the active duty on Ft.
Leonard Wood. (573) 596-0212
Mark.Dunlop1@us.army.mil
Jody Carmack is a Support Coordinator with the active duty at
486 Replacement Avenue, Ft. Leonard Wood, MO 65473.
(573)596-0212 Jodeen.Carmack@us.army.mil
Wendy Davis is a Support Coordinator with the active duty on
Ft. Leavenworth. (913) 684-2821
Wendy.Davis2@us.army.mil
Stacy Gilbert is the Financial Counselor with the active duty on
Ft. Leavenworth. (913) 684-2820
change if you don’t want it to. We can and will leave you on the
Ft. Leonard Wood mailing list so you receive the information
about events in Missouri. You can continue to work with your
current SOS if you want to. Or you can use the SOS nearest to
you and they will be happy to assist you. We can add you to as
many mailing lists as you want so you have a huge choice of
events and offerings to choose from.
We are all here for you. You have control over who you work
with, what events you attend, and what services you want. You
can call or email Ray, Regina, Rob, Mark, Wendy, Stacy or me
and we will be happy to help you figure out who the SOS closest
to you is so you can get in touch at your convenience.
Vehicle Decal
The SOS in coordination with the US Army has developed and is
implementing a Vehicle Identification Decal which is provided to
you with the utmost gratitude for your sacrifice and that of your
loved one who died in the service of our Nation. If you do not
have a Department of Defense identification card, use of this
decal should make it much easier to gain entrance to Army
installations by eliminating the requirement to obtain a
visitor/temporary vehicle pass whenever you come on post. For
more information on this initiative, call Jody Carmack or Wendy
Davis.
2011 Annual Project, “Recipes for Remembering”
Our Missouri Survivor’s Memory Quilt from 2010 is an amazing,
beautiful and resonating symbol of the love you have for your
Service members. It was an honor and a privilege to share your
memories and see their lives through your eyes. With your
permission and cooperation, let’s learn a little more about these
wonderful people who were taken from you too soon. Who does
not have a memory that relates to food? We are looking for
photos, memories, stories, Family Traditions, recipes, whatever
you want to share with us that pertains to your life with your
Service member and food. One Survivor told me that no matter
where they were stationed, or how small the balcony or yard was,
her father always found a way to fire up his grill because it was
his passion and reminded him of home. This is an example of
what we are looking for. We want to put all of your memories in
one original book (scrap book format) which we will keep here at
Ft. Leonard Wood with the quilt and future projects for
exhibition. We will print a copy for each participating Family to
have and cherish. This book will not be for sale, no money will
ever be generated with one of our SOS projects. Be thinking of
your memories, recipes and photos and sorting through which
ones you want to share with other Survivors and SOS. I am
asking for all submissions to be in my office no later than March
30. These can be by postal service, email or in person. If you
have any questions or need any clarification, please contact Jody.
The 2010 Annual Project, Missouri Survivor’s
Memory Quilt Exhibition Schedule:
* 12 February to 25 March at Hoge Hall, FLW
* 26 March to 3 April at Lincoln Hall, FLW
* 4 April to 16 April at Riverside Regional Library, Jackson, Mo
* 17 April to 6 May at Lincoln Hall, FLW
* 7 May to 1 July at Mahaffey Museum, FLW

Missouri Survivor’s Memory Quilt
At Thurman Hall on Ft. Leonard Wood
Survivors Helping Survivors
We are hoping to start a peer support program in an effort to
expand our assistance to more Survivors. Some of you need to
help and nurture others while some of you need to be on the
receiving end of this love. Peer helpers will be Survivors who
are more than a year past the loss of their Service member who
are willing to mentor a recent Survivor. Be a helper who knows
what they are going through. The training and coordination will
be through Ft. Leonard Wood SOS, but the program will be for
all of our Survivors. The peer helper position will be a volunteer
position and a minimum of 1 hour per month (but you set the
amount of time you want) time commitment once you are
assigned to another Survivor. The type of contact will be up to
you the mentor and your Survivor. Rules of confidentiality that
the SOS program abides by will apply to this program. For more
information on this please contact Jody.
“Book of the Fallen”
The Commanding General of IMCOM, LTG Lynch, has
requested that each Army unit begin their own Book of the Fallen
to honor and remember the duty and sacrifices of their Soldiers.
Each book will be passed from commander to commander along
with the unit flag. We are asking all Survivors to help us to make
sure we don’t miss anyone. If you would please let Jody know
what military installation and what unit your Soldier was in when
they died, she will be able to contact them and make sure that
unit has good contact information for you so they can get the
photo and background information they need.
Upcoming Events for Survivors
Saturday May 21, 2011
At 4:00pm is a Survivor Family Pot Luck Picnic followed by a
Family and Morale, Welfare and Recreation (F&MWR) concert
featuring Darryl Worley, the Country music star. This event is in
recognition of Armed Forces Day. SOS Survivors will meet at
Memorial Grove Park for an old fashioned Pot Luck Picnic
complete with family games, mosquitoes and fun. Then we will
have VIP seating at the concert that F&MWR is hosting. It is
free and open to the public. Please RSVP to Jody by May 13.
Saturday June 18, 2011
At 11:00am “A day in the life of a Soldier”. SOS Survivors
will experience some of the training that the Soldiers of today’s
Army go through. Our day begins with a tour of Terry-CBRN
Training Facility which is a mock up of several different types of
sites where the Soldiers learn about the chemical and biological
threats that are out there while learning to safely assess and
disarm the threat. Lunch (at your expense) will be at Tony’s
Dining Facility where our Soldiers eat their meals. After lunch
we are off to tour Stem Village which is a mock up of a typical
military shopping area where the Military Police Soldiers learn to
patrol, assess and disarm volatile situations. Our tour will wrap
up with a stop at the Engagement Skills Training Center where
all of our Soldiers learn about and gain skills with the weapons
they will be using. Yes, it is a simulator, and yes you will be
able to have a turn. Families will have the choice to head home
now or get dinner at their choice of locations on or off post at
their expense. At 8:30pm, the Family & MWR will host a Movie
in the Park which is free and open to the public. SOS Survivors
will have reserved seating, but bring your blanket or lawn chair
and bug spray. Please RSVP to Jody by June 10.
Tuesday July 4, 2011
At 1:00 pm we will have our Annual Project “Recipes for
Remembering” Presentation. We will meet at Gammon field
on Ft. Leonard Wood for a Survivor Social and Presentation
Ceremony. This will be followed by the huge 4th of July
community celebration. Lots of food vendors, games, a play area
for the kids, dunking booths and fun for all. There are many,
many Soldiers getting a break from Basic Training, permanent
party Soldiers with their Families and people from all over the
state will fill the field enjoying the fun at a typical military
celebration. Survivors will be encouraged to participate in all
activities offered but any food will be at the Survivors own
expense since this is a major fund raiser for many of the non-
profit Family Readiness and military organizations on post.
Survivors will be invited to attend the official opening
ceremonies in VIP seating or they can stay in the SOS area. This
is followed by the Army Soldier Show, again VIP seating is
available and concluding the evening is the largest Fireworks
display in the state. Please RSVP to Jody by June 24.
Ft. Leavenworth, KS SOS Events
Saturday, March 5 - Parents of Patriots (Potluck)
Friday, March 18 - Surviving Spouse Social
Saturday, March 26 - SOS Road Show
Saturday, April 9 - SOS Child Recognition/Children’s Festival
Friday, May 20 - Surviving Spouse Social/Military Spouse
Appreciation
Saturday, June 18 - Parents of Patriots/Father’s Day Recognition
For more information and to RSVP for the events at Ft.
Leavenworth, please contact Wendy Davis.
In Memory Of . . .
Grant's Garden
By Kim Townsend, Proud Mother-In-Law of SPC Grant Yohnka.
The death of an active duty Service member presents a unique set
of circumstances, often not realized, even by the Survivors.
When my daughter's husband passed away, he was stationed at
Fort Leonard Wood, MO; in fact, he did his Basic Training and
AIT at Ft. Wood, as well as it being his first, and only duty
assignment. His wishes, understandably, were to be buried in his
hometown in Illinois.
For the first few years we made the fourteen hour round-trip to
visit the gravesite, but family circumstances and financial
burdens made the trips less frequent, leaving a guilt and a
emptiness that presented a whole new aspect of the grieving
process.
The idea to create our own memorial came to me after seeing a
local business display customized sandstone rocks, mostly
engraved to advertise businesses, schools, and other
organizations.
It started with the sandstone monument, and every year we add
something new. The first year it was a flag-pole, and a concrete
soldier we found at the Post Thrift Shop. This was followed by a
weeping willow tree, a lilac bush, morning glories that climb up
two antique iron wagon wheels, and the latest addition was the
ornamental grass.
"Grant's Garden," is our living memorial to an incredible man
who left us much too soon.
Grant's Garden
In Memory of SPC Grant A. Yohnka
January 15, 1981 - July 3, 2002
Financial News
Identity Theft Resources
Personally Viewing Your Credit Report: Every 12 months
you can order a report from each credit reporting agency
for free. Most consumer experts suggest staggering your
reports (every four months). Use the free, official site only:
www.annualcreditreport.com NOT www.freecreditreport.com
Fraud Alert: This is a ‘flag’ you can place on your credit report
after being victimized. This alerts potential creditors that you are
a potential fraud victim. Unfortunately, creditors aren’t required
to abide by (or even check) the alert.
Opting Out - Phone, Mail, & Credit Offers
The National Do Not Call Registry allows you to
register both land lines and cell phones online at
https://www.donotcall.gov or over the phone (888-
382-1222) - calling from the number you are
registering. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC)
and the state of Missouri each operate a No Call
registry. In order to achieve maximum protection from
unwanted calls, it is best to sign up with both. To sign
up for Missouri No Call:
http://ago.mo.gov/nocalllaw/nocalllaw.htm
Registration won't stop all telemarketer calls. Banks, phone
companies, airlines, insurance companies, nonprofit charitable
organizations, and politicians are not under the jurisdiction of the
FTC, and won't be impacted by the list. The National Do Not
Call Registry list only applies to calls across State lines. Sales
calls within a State will still be permitted unless you also opt out
of solicitations through your state. Here are two good ways to
stop [or at least slow] offers for credit: (1) Go to
www.OptOutPrescreen.com (or call 888-5-optout). These are the
credit reporting agencies opt in/opt out resources to stop the
agencies from selling your information to direct marketers. You
can opt out for a five-year period or permanently (you can
always opt back in if you decide you miss the mail!). If you use
the website provided, you can fill out a very brief, simple form to
opt out. It will then provide a screen with the information you
provided that you will need to print out, sign, and mail to the
address provided in order to permanently opt out. If you don’t do
that last step (print and mail), it will opt you out for a 5-year
period instead. (2) Direct Marketing Association (DMA) Do Not
Mail file https://www.dmachoice.org This site also shares
information for getting off commercial e-mail lists
http://www.ims-dm.com/cgi/optoutemps.php
Tax Issues
If you have a military ID card, you can visit or call any military
installation and receive free tax assistance. If you don’t have a
military ID card, you can call your SOS with specific questions
and we can help you find the resources to answer your questions.
Publications of interest to military: Pub 3, Armed Forces Tax
Guide; Pub 559, Survivors, Executors and Administrators; Pub
590, Individual Retirement Arrangements.
Financial Questions
If you have any financial related questions ranging from
budgeting to investing, from insurance to estate planning, from
health care expenses to savings accounts, please feel free to
contact your SOS or Stacy and Mark who are our region’s
Financial Counselors.
TriCare News
Retired Reserve
New TRICARE Coverage for Retired Reserve. Members of the
Retired Reserve who are not yet age 60, the so-called "gray area"
retirees, can purchase TRICARE health coverage for themselves
and their eligible family members with the recent launch of the
TRICARE Retired Reserve (TRR). Retired reservists may
qualify to purchase TRR coverage if they are under the age of 60
and are not eligible for, or enrolled in, the Federal Employees
Health Benefits program. They also must be members of the
Retired Reserve of a Reserve component and qualified for non-
regular retirement. For instructions on how to qualify for and
purchase TRR, visit the TRICARE Retired Reserve webpage.
http://www.tricare.mil/trr
Survivor Coverage
If you have TRR coverage when your sponsor passes away, you
may purchase or continue TRR until the day your sponsor would
have turned age 60.
If you have TRR member-and-family coverage at the time of
your sponsor's death, DEERS will automatically convert it to
TRR Survivor coverage. To opt out of TRR Survivor coverage,
a written letter or a Reserve Component Health Coverage
Request Form (DD Form 2896-1) must be postmarked or
received no later than 60 days after the date of your sponsor's
death. Premiums will be refunded if there have been no claims
for health care submitted during this 60-day period.
If your sponsor had TRR member-only coverage at the time of
his/her death, you may qualify to purchase TRR Survivor
coverage. Your application must be postmarked or received
within 60 days of your sponsor's death, and TRR Survivor
coverage will be effective on the date your sponsor died.
TriCare Young Adult
Now, qualified dependents who age out of TRICARE at age 21,
(age 23 if a college/university student and dependent on sponsor
for more than 50% of financial support and is not eligible for
employer-sponsored health care coverage) and are under age 26,
can purchase TRICARE Young Adult coverage based on the
sponsor’s eligibility and enrollment status. Premiums under the
TriCare Young Adult option are “in the process of being
approved by DoD leadership,” said Austin Camacho, a
spokesman for the TriCare Management Activity headquartered
in Falls Church, Va. “In general, the full-cost premiums will be
based on the historical cost of TriCare claims for a similarly
aged” person.
For more information, please check out the TriCare website
listed above or call your SOS.
Inspiration
From time to time we all need a good, uplifting story to give us a
little boost or make us say, “Hmmm”. The following story was
submitted by one of our Survivors, saying it is one of her
favorites. Thank you Kim Townsend for this story and the input
in this issue. Without her spearheading our newsletter and
working with the layout, format, and editing, we would not have
been able to get this off the ground. Again, thank you Kim!
The Mayonnaise Jar - Author Unknown
When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle, When
24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar
and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some
items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he
picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded
to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it
was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them
into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the
open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students
again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the
jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once
more if the jar was full. The students responded with a
unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the
table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling
the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the
important things - family, children, health, friends, and favorite
passions, things that if everything else was lost and only they
remained, your life would still be full..
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house,
and car.
The sand is everything else --The small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no
room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, You will
never have room for the things that are important to you.
So...
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play
with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take
your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
'Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee
represented.
The professor smiled.. 'I'm glad you asked'.
‘It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may
seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a
friend.'

“Memories are the most beautiful pictures our minds can paint,
cherish and share them.”
Resources
There are a number of organizations who are out there to assist
Survivor Families with a myriad of issues. Each newsletter we
will try to list a few that may be of interest to you. If you have
found one that was particularly helpful to you, please let me
know and we will be happy to include it in a future issue.
www.fascholarship.com has education scholarship info for the
children of Fallen Soldiers.
www.http://www.operationhomefront.net is a non-profit
organization SOS uses quite frequently for miscellaneous
resources when we can’t find any traditional ones to help.
http://www.griefshare.org is a grief support group in your area
that has agreed to waive fees for SOS Survivors.
http://www.taps.org Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors,
is for all military Survivors. It has 24/7 hotline manned by
trained Survivors as well as a magazine with articles and events,
plus info on camps and gatherings for children and adults.
Family & MWR Appreciates You
Fort Leonard Wood Special Events would like to say thanks to
all Survivors of Service Members and their Families.  We would
like to extend a special invite to any and all special events held
on the installation and encourage you to share these events with
everyone you know.  We look forward to seeing you out at our
next event!
12 March Boxing Match
26 March Dueling Pianos
5 April BUNCO PJ Party
16 April Bunny Egg Hunt (Family Friendly)
22 April Donkey Baseball (Family Friendly)
3 May BUNCO De Mayo
7 May Movie in the Park (Family Friendly)
4 June Texas Hold'em
11 June Cardboard Regatta
To see what we have to offer anytime please visit us at:
http://www.fortleonardwoodmwr.com/
Or you can follow us on Facebook at:
http://www.facebook.com/mwr.ftwood
I Survived The Holidays, Now What?
By Jody Carmack
The Holidays are eagerly anticipated by some, just another day
for some and almost dreaded by some. We tend to think of them
as a time for Family, celebration, and warm fuzzy feelings. But
this is not true for everyone.
You prepared for the “I miss the way he looked on Christmas
morning” and the “She loved to be the first to light the menorah
on Hanukah”. You followed the advice of the professionals and
tried to socialize but not over do it. You accepted the fact that
the Holidays would be very difficult. You tried to lower your
anticipation and expectations so you would not be too
disappointed. You had hard moments and tears, yet you
experienced some new smiles along the way. In other words,
you survived the Holidays.
Now, with 2011 upon us, what are you going to do? Another
year begins without your loved one and you are looking for new
things to keep you going during your excruciating journey
through grief. You hear people say “Time to move on” or “Time
to start living your new normal”. But the reality is, your grief is
what it is. It takes as long as it takes. It is driving your bus and
you are hanging on as tightly as you can from stop to stop.
What you can do is keep your eyes open for interesting thoughts
and things along the way that may provide a nice detour. When
you see an article in a newspaper about a new restaurant, make a
special effort to go and check it out. You drive by a museum or
shop you have never visited before, park and go in.
A friend invites you to go to coffee all the time but you always
decline saying you have this or that you need to do, this time
don’t think about it, just go. You pass the same people in the hall
or on the street everyday without a word, now say Hi to some of
them or just hold a door open. Take one tiny step at a time to
ease yourself back into your surroundings and life.
You do not miss your loved one any less. You are taking a few
moments to do something you haven’t done in a while or
normally do. Think of it as rewarding yourself for having the
courage to get up and walk through another day. You allow your
heart to be lighter if only for a little while. This may help the
nice memories to come more freely. It is okay to allow yourself
to enjoy them when they do.
A goal for 2011 could be to attempt to experience the warm
memories with an inner smile for the wonderful time you shared.
Keeping your loved one in your heart and their memory alive is a
reward all in its self.
We Need Your Help
This newsletter is for you.
Your suggestions and submissions are enthusiastically
encouraged and welcomed. Share your stories, artwork, poems,
photos, tips, and resources with us, so we can share them with
other Survivors. Survivors have told us that knowing they are
not alone in their grief is one of the keys to healing. So please
send any submissions you would like printed to Jody Carmack.
Our goal as your Survivor Outreach Services Program is to keep
you connected with the Military for as long as you wish. We will
always try to find ways to improve our understanding of what
you are experiencing as well as help you find ways to heal some
of the pain while keeping the wonderful memories alive. We
will listen to you so we can find or create events you will benefit
from and enjoy, provide the services you need and want, and
always treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve.
Your comments are welcome anytime.
In closing, we would like to save trees so if you have an email
account and would agree to receiving this and other
correspondence electronically, please email me and I will switch
you from snail mail to email. Also, if you wish to be taken off of
the mailing lists in general, please let us know, you will always
be welcome to contact any of us whether or not we send things to
you. We are here to connect you to the military for as long as
you desire any way we can.

Survivor Outreach Services (SOS) works long term

with the Families of Service members who are no
longer with them. We provide support, information,
referrals, Survivor fellowship events and advocacy to
Moms, Dads, Spouses, Children, Siblings, and
Grandparents. As time allows, extended Family and
Friends can also be part of the SOS Family. We are
your connection to the Military for as long as you
desire.

Fellow Survivors out there.

If you know of fellow Survivors that have not been
contacted by SOS, please let us know. They may be
in your neighborhood or in another country. They
may be your friend or a Family member. Call or
email us and we can help them to get connected! We
do not want to leave anyone out; everyone needs a
little extra support or care from time to time. You can
call the Ft. Leonard Wood SOS at (573) 596-0212 for
help finding the SOS program nearest to them.

IMNE-LNW-MWA
Army Community Service (SOS)
486 Replacement Avenue
Fort Leonard Wood, Mo 65473