Self concept and success

We are always responsible for everything we think, say do, or feel. We alone hav
e the power to choose what happens to us. Often, we shortchange ourselves becaus
e we believe we are less than we actually are. We are the enemy.
It is important to have faith in our abilities, to believe in ourselves. Now, I
am not suggesting conceit that rare disease affecting everyone but the person wh
o has it. Rather, I want to build a reasonable confidence in your own power to r
each your goals. How can you do this? Success begins when we learn what it takes
to build a stronger self-concept.
We don t perform according to our actual abilities. We perform according to our pe
rception of our abilities. Dr. Joyce Brothers, a noted psychologist, in a Parade
magazine article says, An individual s self- concept is the core of their personal
ity. It affects every aspect of human behavior the ability to learn, the capacit
y to grow and change, the choice of mates, friends, and career. It s no exaggerati
on to say that a strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation fo
r success in life .
We have a blueprint of our abilities. We have our own perceived set of plans, ou
r own life-building code. Rarely do we question its validity. We follow the plan
and allow that blueprint to control every talent we have.
We must learn to control the way we think.
Our thoughts program our subconscious mind, the storehouse of all impressions. T
he subconscious concept without question, all thoughts received and stores them
for future use. By repeating thoughts often enough, we assemble the blueprint of
our belief system. Soon, right or wrong, our thoughts build our reality and bec
ome a major influence on the construction of our self-concept.
By properly controlling our thinking, we can eventually correct falsely develope
d deficiencies and turn our thinking around. By mastering our thoughts, we begin
to master our life. The end result of this process is a blueprint that we can u
se to build a strong house. All the huffing and puffing by the big bad wolf you
r wrong beliefs will never blow your house down.
Don t add difficulties to your life by fabricating a poor self-concept of your abi
lities. Be a master architect working from correctly drawn plans. That is the on
ly way to complete your house of success.

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Self confidence in children

Self-confidence is a very essential element in life of any human being. It not o
nly determines our movements in life but also every step taken by us during the
course of our life. Career, success, inter-personal relationships, value system
and thousand other things which are determined by the level of our self-confiden
ce. It all begins in childhood. It s extremely imperative for parents to instill t
hat small dosage of self-confidence in child. But remember, this is not a one ti
me process.
Confidence level of any kid is determined and developed by several solid steps t
aken by parents. Specially often we have seen, a child who is all chatterbox and
involved in several activities like dancing, mimicking, acting, singing but he
does it only at his home in the comfort of his parents. But once, he is in schoo
l, he is all quiet and does not participate in any activity. That s a sign of lack
ing self-confidence. He performs at home where he does not care about opinion of
his parents but when in school he starts doubting his own capabilities and comp
etence and that in turn robs him of his self-confidence.

There are several steps which need to be taken by parents.

- Creating a set routine for child. It develops discipline and child starts enjo
ying that.
- A very critical step is exposing him to the world. This needs to be done with
proper care and in a slow way. Once parents start playing with their kids, they
should encourage them to play with their family members, friends and other child
ren. Similarly, he can be asked to act, dance or recite some rhyme in front of o
thers. Once he starts getting appreciation then, his social skills and confidenc
e will automatically develop.
- Parents should ensure a certain time limit for watching television and playing
computer games. These things tend to diminish social communication and conversa
tion. Excess of these also make child aloof.
- Asking your kids to help in household chores and other works will make him fee
l wanted and important. He will also feel competent. Apart, a sense of partnersh
ip and responsibility also starts developing in child.
- Another crucial step is preparing a list of things your child is good at. Also
create a list of the things he or she likes to do. Encourage the kid to create
a list on his own. Afterwards, match the two lists and find if the kid has misse
d anything. If he has, make him aware that he is also good at other missed thing
s as well. In hindsight, if parents have missed anything, they would be more awa
re in future.
- Whenever a child is starting a new thing, parents must encourage him or her. S
upport them, assure them of their capabilities, show them your confidence in the
m and you will be surprised with what they manage to achieve.
- Parents must push kids for extra-curricular activities like team sports, music
lessons or art lessons. One of them may find his true calling or at least reali
ze that he has got talent for certain activity. Apart, in the process he will me
et new people and new kids and will learn new skill as well.
- At the same time parents should never doubt on their kids ability. Interfering
in his work according to your way might not be such a good idea. Last but not th
e least a child should never be compared with other kids.