Family

In human context, a family (from Latin: familiare) is a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity, or
co-residence. In most societies it is the principal institution for the socialization of children. Extended from the
human "family unit" by affinity, economy, culture, tradition, honor, and friendship are concepts of family that
are metaphorical, or that grow increasingly inclusive extending to nationhood and humanism. A family group
consisting of a father, mother and their children is called a nuclear family. This term can be contrasted with an
extended family.

There are also concepts of family that break with tradition within particular societies, or those that are
transplanted via migration to flourish or else cease within their new societies. As a unit of socialisation and a
basic institution key to the structure of society, the family is the object of analysis for sociologists of the family.
Genealogy is a field which aims to trace family lineages through history. In science, the term "family" has come
to be used as a means to classify groups of objects as being closely and exclusively related. In the study of
animals it has been found that many species form groups that have similarities to human "family"—often called
"packs."

A family name (in Western contexts often referred to as a last name) is a type of surname and part of a
person's name indicating the family to which the person belongs. The use of family names is widespread in
cultures around the world. Each culture has its own rules as to how these names are applied and used.

In many cultures (notably Euro-American, Middle Eastern, South Asian, and African) the family name is
normally the last part of a person's name. In other cultures, the family name comes first. The latter is often
called the Eastern order because Europeans are most familiar with the examples from East Asia, specifically
China, Korea, Japan and Vietnam. Since family names are normally given last in European societies, the term
last name is commonly used for family name. family name and surname both mean the patrilineal (literally,
father-line) surname, handed down from or inherited from the father's line or patriline, unless explicitly stated
otherwise. Thus, the term "maternal surname" means the patrilineal surname which one's mother inherited from
either or both of her parents.

Family law is an area of the law that deals with family-related issues and domestic relations including:

• the nature of marriage, civil unions, and domestic partnerships;

• issues arising throughout marriage, including spousal abuse, legitimacy, adoption, surrogacy, child
abuse, and child abduction
• the termination of the relationship and ancillary matters including divorce, annulment, property
settlements, alimony, and parental responsibility orders (in the United States, child custody and
visitation, child support and alimony awards).

Procreation

One of the primary functions of the family is to produce and reproduce persons, biologically and socially. Thus,
one's experience of one's family shifts over time. From the perspective of children, the family is a family of
orientation: the family serves to locate children socially and plays a major role in their enculturation and
socialization. From the point of view of the parent(s), the family is a family of procreation, the goal of which is
to produce and enculturate and socialize children. However, producing children is not the only function of the
family; in societies with a sexual division of labor, marriage, and the resulting relationship between two people,
it is necessary for the formation of an economically productive household. A conjugal family includes only the
husband, the wife, and unmarried children who are not of age. The most common form of this family is
regularly referred to in sociology as a nuclear family. A consanguineal family consists of a parent and his or
her children, and other people. Although the concept of consanguinity originally referred to relations by
"blood", Cultural anthropologists.have argued that one must understand the idea of "blood" metaphorically and
that many societies understand family through other concepts rather than through genetic distance. A
matrilocal family consists of a mother and her children. Generally, these children are her biological offspring,
although adoption of children is a practice in nearly every society. This kind of family is common where
women have the resources to rear their children by themselves, or where men are more mobile than women.

History of the family

Main article: History of the family

The diverse data coming from ethnography, history, law and social statistics, establish that the human family is
an institution and not a biological fact founded on the natural relationship of consanguinity.[9][10] Early scholars
of family history applied Darwin's biological theory of evolution in their theory of evolution of family systems.
American anthropologist Lewis H. Morgan published Ancient Society in 1877 based on his theory of the three
stages of human progress from Savagery through Barbarism to Civilization. Morgan's book was the "inspiration
for Friedrich Engels' book" The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State published in 1884. Engels
expanded Morgan's hypothesis that economical factors caused the transformation of primitive community into a
class-divided society. Engels' theory of resource control, and later that of Karl Marx, was used to explain the
cause and effect of change in family structure and function. The popularity of this theory was largely unmatched
until the 1980s, when other sociological theories, most notably structural functionalism, gained acceptance.

COST OF RAISING A CHILD

Developing countries

According to Globalissues.org, "Almost half the world — over three billion people — live on less than $2.50 a
day."[1] This statistic includes children. On this number, it costs roughly US$900 to raise a child for a year, and
US$16,500 to raise a child from birth to age 17.[original research?] Half of all children in the world live in poverty.

United States

Based on a survey by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the table below shows the estimated annual costs of
raising a child. The table shows costs based on a family with two children on a per-child basis. The data comes
from the Consumer Expenditure Survey by the U.S. Department of Labor, conducted from 1990-92. The figures
have been updated to 2001 dollars using the Consumer Price Index.

These figures from the USDA go up to age 18 and before any college education. It does not include any
estimates for sending your children to college nor does it offer any cost estimates if your child remains in your
home as a dependent after the age of 18.[4]

There are two tables, the first for two-parent households, the second for single-parent families.[5]

Dual-Parent Family

Age Child care

Housing Food Transportation Clothing Health Miscellaneous Total
of Child /Education
Before-tax income: up to $39,100
0 to 2 2,500 910 780 370 460 840 630 6,490
3 to 5 2,470 1,010 750 360 440 820 680 6,630
6 to 8 2,380 1,300 880 400 510 560 680 6,710
9 to 11 2,150 1,560 950 450 560 340 720 6,730
12 to 14 2,400 1,640 1,070 750 560 240 900 7,560
15 to 17 1,940 1,780 1,440 660 600 400 660 7,480
Total 41,520 24,600 17,610 8,970 9,390 9,990 12,720 124,800
Before-tax income: $39,100 to $65,800
0 to 2 3,380 1,090 1,160 430 610 1,380 980 9,030
3 to 5 3,350 1,260 1,130 420 580 1,530 990 9,260
6 to 8 3,260 1,600 1,260 470 660 980 1,030 9,260
9 to 11 3,030 1,890 1,330 520 720 640 1,250 9,190
12 to 14 3,280 1,900 1,450 870 720 470 1,250 9,940
15 to 17 2,820 2,110 1,840 780 770 810 1,010 10,140
Total 57,360 29,550 24,510 10,470 12,180 17,430 18,960 170,460
Before-tax income: $65,800 and up
0 to 2 5,370 1,440 1,630 570 700 2,090 1,630 13,430
3 to 5 5,340 1,630 1,600 560 670 2,270 1,650 13,720
6 to 8 5,250 1,970 1,720 610 770 1,560 1,690 13,570
9 to 11 5,020 2,290 1,800 670 820 1,090 1,720 13,410
12 to 14 5,270 2,400 1,920 1,100 830 840 1,900 13,170
15 to 17 4,810 2,530 2,330 1,000 870 1,470 1,660 14,670
Total 93,180 36,780 33,000 13,530 13,980 27,960 30,750 249,180

All numbers are in US$.

Single-Parent Family

Age Child care

Housing Food Transportation Clothing Health Miscellaneous Total
of Child /Education
Before-tax income: up to $45,100
0 to 2 2,240 1,010 730 330 220 530 380 5,440
3 to 5 2,550 1,060 640 350 330 720 500 6,150
6 to 8 2,710 1,340 740 410 390 650 670 6,910
9 to 11 2,600 1,550 530 420 490 310 540 6,440
12 to 14 2,600 1,550 620 710 520 400 520 6,920
15 to 17 2,760 1,690 970 830 520 300 600 7,670
Total 46,380 24,600 12,690 9,150 7,410 8,730 9,630 118,590
Before-tax income: $45,100 and up
0 to 2 4,820 1,560 2,220 470 510 1,290 1,580 12,450
3 to 5 4,820 1,650 2,130 500 690 1,620 1,690 13,410
6 to 8 5,290 1,980 2,240 570 790 1,510 1,870 14,250
9 to 11 5,180 2,380 2,030 580 950 880 1,740 13,740
12 to 14 5,190 2,380 2,110 950 1,000 1,260 1,720 14,560
15 to 17 5,340 2,470 2,290 1,090 990 1,030 1,800 15,010
Total 92,850 37,110 39,060 12,480 14,790 22,770 31,200 250,260

All numbers are in US$.

FUNCTIONS OF THE FAMILY

Economic functions
Anthropologists have often supposed that the family in a traditional society forms the primary economic unit.
This economic role has gradually diminished in modern times, and in societies like the United States it has
become much smaller, except in certain sectors such as agriculture and in a few upper class families. In China
the family as an economic unit still plays a strong role in the countryside. However, the relations between the
economic role of the family, its socio-economic mode of production and cultural values remain highly complex.

Political functions

On the other hand family structures or its internal relationships may affect both state and religious institutions.
J.F. del Giorgio in The Oldest Europeans points out that the high status of women among the descendants of the
post-glacial Paleolithic European population was coherent with the fierce love of freedom of pre-Indo-European
tribes. He believes that the extraordinary respect for women in those families meant that children reared in such
atmospheres tended to distrust strong, authoritarian leaders. According to del Giorgio, European democracies
have their roots in those ancient ancestors.

FAMILY TYPES

Family arrangements in the United States have become more diverse with no particular household arrangement
representing half of the United States population.[16]

The different types of families occur in a wide variety of settings, and their specific functions and meanings
depend largely on their relationship to other social institutions. Sociologists have a special interest in the
function and status of these forms in stratified (especially capitalist) societies.

NUCLEAR FAMILY

The term "nuclear family" is commonly used, especially in the United States and Europe, to refer to conjugal
families. Sociologists distinguish between conjugal families (relatively independent of the kindred of the
parents and of other families in general) and nuclear families (which maintain relatively close ties with their
kindred).

EXTENDED FAMILY

The term "extended family" is also common, especially in the United States and Europe. This term has two
distinct meanings. First, it serves as a synonym of "consanguinal family". Second, in societies dominated by the
conjugal family, it refers to kindred (an egocentric network of relatives that extends beyond the domestic
group) who do not belong to the conjugal family. These types refer to ideal or normative structures found in
particular societies. Any society will exhibit some variation in the actual composition and conception of
families. Much sociological, historical and anthropological research dedicates itself to the understanding of this
variation, and of changes in the family form over time. Thus, some speak of the bourgeois family, a family
structure arising out of 16th-century and 17th-century European households, in which the family centers on a
marriage between a man and woman, with strictly defined gender-roles. The man typically has responsibility for
income and support, the woman for home and family matters. According to the work of scholars Max Weber,
Alan Macfarlane, Steven Ozment, Jack Goody and Peter Laslett, the huge transformation that led to modern
marriage in Western democracies was "fueled by the religio-cultural value system provided by elements of
Judaism, early Christianity, Roman Catholic canon law and the Protestant Reformation".[17] In contemporary
Europe and the United States, people in academic, political and civil sectors have called attention to single-
father-headed households, and families headed by same-sex couples,[citation needed] although academics point out
that these forms exist in other societies. Also the term blended family or stepfamily describes families with
mixed parents: one or both parents remarried, bringing children of the former family into the new family.[18]
Also in sociology, particularly in the works of social psychologist Michael Lamb,[19] traditional family refers to
"a middleclass family with a bread-winning father and a stay-at-home mother, married to each other and raising
their biological children", and nontraditional to exceptions from this rule. Most of the US households are now
non-traditional under this definition

POLYGAMY (from πολύς γάμος polys gamos, translated literally in Late Greek as "often married"[1]) is a
heterosexual marriage which includes more than two partners, which is a monogamous marriage.[1] When a man
is married to more than one wife at the one time, the relationship is called polygyny, and there is no marrige
bond between the wives; and when a woman is married to more than one husband at the one time, it is called
polyandry, and there is no marrige bond between the husbands. If a marriage includes multiple husbands and
wives, it can be called group marriage.[1] Though there are three or more parties to such marriages, sexual
activities between the parties are normally only heterosexual.

The term is used in related ways in social anthropology, sociobiology, sociology, as well as in popular speech.
In social anthropology, polygamy is the practice of a person's making him/herself available for two or more
spouses to mate with. In contrast, monogamy is a marriage consisting of only two parties. Like monogamy, the
term is often used in a de facto sense, applying regardless of whether the relationships are recognized by the
state (see marriage for a discussion on the extent to which states can and do recognize potentially and actually
polygamous forms as valid). In sociobiology, and zoology polygamy is used in a broad sense to mean any form
of multiple mating.

FORMS OF POLYGAMY

Polygamy exists in three specific forms: polygyny - where a man has multiple simultaneous wives;[2] polyandry
- where a woman has multiple simultaneous husbands; or group marriage - where the family unit consists of
multiple husbands and multiple wives. Historically, all three practices have been found, but polygyny is by far
the most common.[3] Confusion arises when the broad term "polygamy" is used when a specific form of
polygamy is being referred to. Additionally, different countries may or may not include all forms in their
Polygamy laws.

Polyandry

Main article: Polyandry

Polyandry is a practice where a woman has more than one husband at the same time. Fraternal polyandry was
traditionally practised among nomadic Tibetans in Nepal, parts of China and part of northern India, in which
two or more brothers are married to the same wife, with her having equal sexual access to them. Polyandry is
believed to be more likely in societies with scarce environmental resources, as it is believed to limit human
population growth and enhance child survival.[4] It is a rare form of marriage that exists not only among poor
families, but also the elite.[5]

Group marriage

Main article: Group marriage

Group marriage is a marriage where the family unit consists of more than one man and more than one woman,
any of whom share parental responsibility for any children arising from the marriage.[citation needed] Group marriage
is a form of non-monogamy and polyamory.

Another possibility, which has been conceived in fiction (notably in Robert Heinlein's The Moon Is a Harsh
Mistress), is a line marriage, where a deceased or departing spouse in the group is continually replaced by
another so that family property never becomes dispersed through inheritance.

Family planning is the planning of when to have children,[1] and the use of birth control[2][3] and other
techniques to implement such plans. Other techniques commonly used include sexuality education,[3][4]
prevention and management of sexually transmitted infections,[3] pre-conception counseling[3] and management,
and infertility management.[2]

Family planning is sometimes used as a synonym for the use of birth control, though it often includes more. It is
most usually applied to a female-male couple who wish to limit the number of children they have and/or to
control the timing of pregnancy (also known as spacing children). Family planning may encompass
sterilization, as well as pregnancy termination.[5]

Family planning services are defined as "educational, comprehensive medical or social activities which enable
individuals, including minors, to determine freely the number and spacing of their children and to select the
means by which this may be achieved."[

Family Life. A family is a household of people related by blood or marriage. More specifically, we can define a
family as husband and wife (or one parent), with or without never-married children, living together in the same
dwelling. A household may contain more than two generations of people.

1. PURPOSE OF FAMILY
2. BAHA'I STRUCTURE AND NORMS
Structure of family
Norms (behavior)
3. SPIRITUAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL AND SOCIAL WELL-BEING
Sources of harmony and marital health
Sources of disharmony/strain
4. THE BAHA'I FAMILY AND THE WIDER WORLD
The family in the Bahá'í Community
The Cultural Matrix
Bahá'í view of current trends in family life
5. DEMOGRAPHIC ASPECTS OF BAHA'I FAMILY LIFE
6. BAHA'I LITERATURE ON FAMILY

1. PURPOSE OF FAMILY

The family is given great importance as it should form the basis of both the individual's spiritual
development and happiness, and society's cohesion and advancement. It constitutes "as the bedrock of the whole
structure of human society" (KA: 223). Attitudes and relationships developed in the family, when transformed to
ever-wider circles of the community, can have a direct bearing on the order, peace, and wealth of an entire
nation (SWAB: 279).

The Bahá'í view of the family is best expressed in terms of the position of each individual member to each
other to be equivalent to their relationship to God. Thus, the efforts of parents to educate their son and daughter
should be seen in the same light as educating God's children.

The family provides a fertile ground to nurture children, the future adults, to love the Creator, to become
spiritually minded, to "conform to the rules of good conduct," to acquires "all the graces and praiseworthy
qualities of humankind," amongst other virtues (PTF, 63).

2. STRUCTURE AND NORMS

a. Bahá'í Structure of Family. There is only a general sketch that defines the structure of the Bahá'í family.
Bahá'í Writings suggest that the extended family, rather than the nuclear family, will be the norm. The
distribution of inheritance, for instance, suggests the importance of the extended family.

Although the father is the "head" of the household (Ltr from House of Justice, 28 Dec. 1980), both parents
carry the authority and primary responsibility for the family. The Kitab-i-Aqdas enjoins parents to instruct their
sons and daughters to read and write (KA, para. 48) and to "rear them in the bosom of sciences and arts"
(SWAB, 127). It is expected that counselling children takes place over a long period (SWAB, 135).

The mother, as the "first educator of the child" (SWAB, 138), occupies the most important position during
the early years of family life, responsible for the spiritual and material education of her children. She should
"nurture the health" of her children and guard them from disease" (SWAB, 126). The mother has the right to be
supported by her husband, while he has no such rights.

The husband's primary responsibilty is to "provide for and protect the family" (Family Life, 30).
Fatherhood is forefeited when a father fails to assume these responsibilities.

Children have the duty and moral obligation to obey their parents (Ltr from House of Justice, 28 Dec.
1980). According to Bahá'u'lláh (Bahá'í Education, 4), children will not learn to obey their Creator, if they do
not obey their parents. The eldest son, in particular, has the moral obligation to see to the needs of his mother
and her offspring.

`Abdu'l-Bahá (PUP, 168) emphasized the need to constantly consider the "integrity of the family," and the
importance of not transgressing the rights of any family member. Each member of the household has
prerogatives. If their rights and prerogatives are not maintained, it is impossible to sustain the unity of the
family. In the Bahá'í view, all members of the family have "mutual and complementary duties" (Ltr from House
of Justice, 28 Dec. 1980).

Bahá'u'lláh emphasizes the importance of blood lines, as indicated in the distribution of inheritance and the
need to obtain consent for marriage from one's biological parents, even when one is adopted.

The Kitab-i-Aqdas (q.v.) prescribes monogamy and forbids one's marrying his or her stepparent.
Cohabitation, and trial, companionate, and common-law marriages are not allowed.

b. Bahá'í norms. The division of labour and household tasks are not specified in the Bahá'í writings, except
for the education of children. Some Bahá'í authors (e.g. Hellaby, 16) have remarked that the Bahá'í teachings
place responsibility for the early, informal training of children in the hands of the mother, while the father must
see to the later, formal aspects of their education. Homemaking is "a highly honourable and responsible work of
fundamental importance to society" (KA, 193). Even when such a division is specified, family circumstances
and the course of family life, foresee a deeper involvement of the father in the early stages of the education of
children, and the mother's assuming tasks outside the home.

Hospitality constitutes a key ingredient of family life. Essential to hospitality is the ability to welcome
people of diverse background and offering food and shelter. When hospitality is offered to a gathering of
Bahá'ís, the home becomes a "congress of the spirit" (SWAB, 94).

Each household creates a physical environment which, in turn, reflects back on the family. A family
committed to providing a clean and safe environment, including proper physical nourishment and hygiene of its
members, benefits in ways that lend support to its primary goals. Cleanliness has an effect on spirituality. The
KA (para. 151) ordains that every 19 years, if possible, the furnishings of one's home should be renewed, to
promote "refinement and cleanliness."

Relationships within the family should be characterized as "not dictatorial authority but humble fellowship,
not arbitrary power, but the spirit of frank and loving consultation" (Ltr from House of Justice, 28 Dec. 1980).
Neither husband nor wife should "unjustly dominate" the other (Ltr from Guardian's secretary on his behalf, 22
July 1943).

While embracing advanced societal goals, family relationships appear to affirm traditional norms. For
example, daughters must be trained to become "more self-effacing, more humble, and will defer to and obey
their parents and forebears, and be a comfort and a solace to all" (PUP, 190).

Bahá'u'lláh gives children the obligation to serve their parents, and "categorically states that after the
recognition of the oneness of God, the most important of all duties for children is to have due regard for the
rights of their parents" (KA, "Questions and Answers"). These duties extend beyond the death of parents for in
return for the trouble and hardship endured by parents in raising children, children must "show forth charity and
beneficence and must implore [from God] pardon and forgiveness for their parents" (SAQ, Ch. 62).

The Bahá'í Writings have no explicit statements on family planning or birth control.

3. SPIRITUAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, AND SOCIAL WELL-BEING

a. Sources of harmony. A pattern of harmony in family life requires, in the Bahá'í view, conscious attention
to teach and develop spiritual qualities among its members. Of note are these qualities: truthfulness and
trusworthiness, a sense of justice, moderation, respect for others, good manners, obedience, self-discipline, and
kindness (Hellaby, 26). Ruhe (1986) lists 20 qualities.

Special prayers have been revealed by Bahá'u'lláh and `Abdu'l-Bahá for parents and children. In the face of
difficulties, prayers restore tranquillity in the family.

The development of the art of loving consultation is a source of harmony, and one of "the keys to the
strenghtening of unity" (Ltr from House of Justice, 28 Dec. 1980). It is a difficult skill, because it is premised on
trust and the need to know what the other person considers a valid area open for consultation. Unlike groups of
three or more, a Bahá'í couple cannot resolve their differences by a majority vote. Under those circumstances,
the Universal House of Justice advises that there are times when one should defer to the other (Ltr, 28 Dec.
1980).

It is instructive to note that the Bahá'í teachings clearly encouraged attention to one's family, if it came to
having to decide between doing Bahá'í work or family work. Yet, in some instances when a family experiences
difficulties, the family may well consider together devoting their time to Bahá'í work as an effective solution to
family problems (SWAB, 140).
 b. Sources of disharmony and strain. Since the Bahá'í writings encourage inter-cultural marriages, it stands
to reason that Bahá'í families can be subject to more cultural differences of the partners than is the case among
many other families. A thoughtful attitude and behavior about what elements of cultural diversity contribute to
unity, and which ones contribute to disunity, may go a long way to resolving disharmony.

The ideology of material acquisitiveness and consumerism, whereby one's identity is premised on material
possessions and hoarding, also produce strain in a family. It is easy to forsake spiritual goals for material ones.

Hardship can be a another source of strain within a family. In this connection, it is interesting to note the
Bahá'í Writings' emphasis on accustoming children to hardship (Bahá'í Education, 31). What seems to matter
most, then, is the family's positive or negative attitude towards difficulties. A positive attitude results in moral
and spiritual development.

4. THE BAHA'I FAMILY IN THE WIDER WORLD

a. The Bahá'í family in the Bahá'í Community. Bahá'í families occupy a particular niche in Bahá'í
community life. Among the "essential obligation" of parents includes "the active participation by children in
Bahá'í community life" (UHJ, Nawruz, 1974). Service to the community, Bahá'í or otherwise, is perceived as a
goal of families. In the experience of many Bahá'í families, the wider Bahá'í community acts as the wider,
extended family (Hellaby, 71).

There are many opportunities for families around the world who wish to build a Bahá'í identity. Bahá'í
families participate in Nineteen-Day Feasts and the holding of Bahá'í Holy Days. Daily prayer and reading from
the Sacred Writings constitute another means of strenghtening Bahá'í identity. Attending Bahá'í summer and
winter schools as a family promote such an identity, as well as the cultivation of the Bahá'í habit of hospitality,
consultation, and valuing diversity. Withdrawing children from school (and parents from work) on Bahá'í Holy
Days gives families an opportunity to affirm their Bahá'í identity. `Ayyam-i-Há has become a particularly
fruitful time to strengthen this identity. Some authors (e.g. Ruhe, 19) recommend that the family "associate
closely with four or five families" who share that family's values and ideals. Family travelling-teaching trips are
also helpful in that regard.

Bahá'í communities, moreover, have an obligation to strengthen Bahá'í family life; spiritual assemblies
should be "concerned with ... families whom it must constantly encourage to unite in a distinctive Bahá'í
society" (Seven Year Plan).

b. The Cultural Matrix. Because the Bahá'í community is world-wide, one can expect that response to the
Bahá'í teachings on family life to be quite varied. The presence of many different cultures in the Bahá'í world
community today prevents the development of what constitutes the ideal Bahá'í family. The Bahá'í family is an
evolving concept, because currently Bahá'í families bring much of their own culture into family life (Tanaka,
Bahá'í Studies Notebook, 138). Some cultures have a heightened sense of privacy among the members of a
family, while others eschew any notion of privacy. Yet, both cultures may perceive their relationships as
"close."

Perhaps the most significant Bahá'í teaching for family life, affecting families in all cultures, concerns the
equality of men and women: first, in their relations to each other, the parents, and second, the impact of this
teaching on children. What may be viewed as a distinctive Bahá'í element of family life is the critical
importance of educating daughters which is "more necessary than that of sons," if it is not possible to provide an
education to all. In the Bahá'í view, through educated mothers, the benefits of knowledge can be most
effectively and rapidly diffused throughout society (KA, "Notes;" BE, 30). "Mothers are the first educators of
the new generation." It will, nevertheless, take many generations for families to loosen themselves of their
cultural matrix and become more closely identified with the spirit and practice of giving primary importance to
the education of daughters. Even in countries where education is available to both sons and daughters, the
choice of educational goals may still follow traditional lines, such as encouraging sons in the technical fields,
and daughters in the humanities.
 In a wider perspective, one could argue that in the past the family was primarily an economic unit,
fostering the inequality of men and women. The Industrial Revolution has also separated men from family and
household life. The Bahá'í writings see the family in spiritual terms (Ltr from the House of Justice to NSAs, 17
April 1981), although material welfare is not discounted, destined to foster equality between the sexes. Some
scholars (e.g. Linda and John Walbridge, 1986) suggest that the Bahá'í teachings bring men back into the
family.

c. Current Trends in Family Life. The aspirations and tasks of family life are such that it is essential to
"husband" all available resources to their success. Current trends in family life, however, make such goals even
more difficult to fulfill. While many Bahá'í families may feel the urgent need to protect their members from
these aspects in contemporary society, others will also recognize that they have already "inherited" these
disintegrating trends.

Regarding family violence, the Bahá'í Writings are categorically opposed to the use of force, or the threat
of force. Such behavior is seen as a "flagrant transgression of the Bahá'í Teachings" (Ltr from Universal House
of Justice, 24 Jan. 1993). The Bahá'í Writings, however, indicate inappropriate uses of parental authority: to be
too harsh, to censure, use physical force, vilify, and to verbally abuse family members. Parents could lose their
rights as parents if they abuse children (Ltr from House of Justice to an individual, 24 Jan. 1993).

With respect to step families which are increasingly becoming the norm in Western society (often termed
"blended families"), the Bahá'í Writings urge the maintenance of family unity, whether in step-families, or not.

The Bahá'í Faith stands opposed to nonmarital cohabitation and premarital sex, or in the words of Shoghi
Effendi, "companionate marriage, infidelity in marital relationships, and all manner of promiscuity, of easy
familiarity, and of sexual vices" (ADJ, 26). As a consequence, the building of a strong family is not distracted
by relationships and behaviors that take devotion, time, and energy away from forming a family.

For Bahá'í communities there are two kinds of lone-parent families. On one hand, one finds families with
only one parent due to separation, divorce, death, or non-marital reproduction. On the other hand, one may
expect to find a two-parent household, only one of whom is a Bahá'í. In both instances, the Bahá'í parent may
experience isolation in attempting to guide her or his family along Bahá'í lines (Brilliant Stars, 91). These
attempts are greatly strengthened when the Bahá'í community provides the necessary support or when the non-
Bahá'í parent is sympathetic to these efforts (Hellaby, 118). In any event, one can note differences in whether
the mother or father is a Bahá'í. It seems that it is relatively easier for mothers to maintain a Bahá'í dynamic in
the family, than for fathers (cf. BE, 51).

The Bahá'í position on women and work outside the home is clear. The concept of a Bahá'í family implies
that woman is the primary educator of the family, and the man has the primary responsibility for the financial
support of the family. Nevertheless, this "by no means implies that these functions are inflexibly fixed and
cannot be changed and adjusted to suit particular family situations, nor does it mean that the place of the woman
is confined to the home" (W, 31). It is anticipated that fathers would would play a role in the education of
children and mothers could be breadwinners. Bahá'u'lláh makes it clear that everyone must "engage in some
form of occupation, such as crafts, trades, and the like" (TB, 26).

As is already evident, society has, however minimally, responded to such situations, either by readjusting
work schedules, job sharing, reducing the hours of work outside the home, extended maternity or paternity
leaves, and the like. No doubt, other possibilities will be considered as the Bahá'í concept of family life
becomes more firmly established in the world and society attaches greater importance to household life and the
raising of children. Naturally, each family will, moreover, achieve its own distinctive approach to such matters,
to be decided through consultation and experience.

5. DEMOGRAPHIC ASPECTS OF BAHA'I FAMILY LIFE

 No scholars, whether Bahá'í or non-Bahá'í, have devoted research to the demographic aspects of families in
the Bahá'í community. Various national Bahá'í communities have collected Bahá'í census data (e.g. United
States, Canada), but they are not available or have, as yet, not been analyzed. There are at present no means to
corroborate or disprove assertions about the "high rate of failure for Bahá'í marriages in the West" (e.g. Khavari,
Bahá'í Studies Notebook, 1983: 66)

There are, nevertheless, general observations which we can glean from Bahá'í news reports. The
demographic characteristics of Bahá'í families seem to correlate with the relative age of the Bahá'í community.
For example, one is more likely to find complete Bahá'í families--where all members are Bahá'ís--in the Middle
East, where the Bahá'í community has existed longer than elsewhere.

Geography also seems a determining factor in the kind of Bahá'í families we can expect to find. For
example, it is more common in the so-called Third World to find men who are Bahá'ís, in contrast to Western
societies where Bahá'í women outnumber the Bahá'í men (cf. Hellaby, 98). These differences are bound to be
reflected in the makeup and social dynamics in Bahá'í families, whether complete or incomplete.

6. BAHA'I LITERATURE ON FAMILY LIFE

a. Bahá'í Writings. Letters from the Universal House of Justice, 28 Dec. 1980, and 24 Jan. 1993 are key
documents discussing the relationship between men and women in family life, and violence and sexual abuse of
women and children, respectively. Preserving Bahá'í Marriages (1991) is a memorandum and compilation
prepared by the Universal House of Justice. Bahá'í Marriage and Family Life (1983), Bahá'í Consultation, and
Bahá'í Education are other compilations of Bahá'í writings pertaining to family life.

b. Prescriptive and Educational Works. Education in the Bahá'í Family (Madeline Hellaby, 1987)
discusses the education of children from a Western perspective as a basic principle of family life, with particular
focus on character training and the equality between the sexes. Mothers, Fathers and Children (A. Furutan,
1980) provides, from a Middle-Eastern viewpoint, practical advice to parents. When We Grow Up (B.
Nakhjavání, 1979) explores general issues of raising children in the light of Bahá'í teachings. Guidelines for
Parents (Margaret Ruhe, 1986) provides much practical advice to parents. The Australian Bahá'í Community
published A Bahá'í Parenting Programme (1990) which presents practical suggestions and extracts from the
Bahá'í Writings on parenting. A Fortress for Well-Being: Bahá'í Teachings on Mariage (BPT, USA, 1973 and
later editions) continues to be a popular guide for those who wish to start a family. Other popular manuals
include Creating a Successful Family (by Khavari and Khavari, 1989), The Family Repair Manual (by Agnes
Ghaznavi, 1989), Bahá'í Families (by Patricia Wilcox, 1991), Creating a Spiritual Home: Mother's Book (also:
Teacher's Guide) by Deborah Christensen and Delane Hein, both published in 1985 in Nairobi.

c. Literary, Musical, and Children's Works Related to Families. There is a modest selection of literary
works dealing with family life. There is a greater selection of musical works, in the form of casette tapes, and
children's books and magazines (See "Literature, Bahá'í"). The Chosen Highway by Lady Blomfield (1967)
provides a glimpse of family life in Bahá'u'lláh's household.

d. Scholarly Works. Linda and John Walbridge ("Bahá'í Laws on the Status of Men," World Order, 1986)
discuss how Bahá'í teachings regard men as an integral part of the family. H.T.D. Rost (The Brilliant Stars: The
Bahá'í Faith and the Education of Children, 1979), based on research for a Ph.D. thesis, offers a chapter on the
"Role of the Family, Community, and School." The Divine Institution of Marriage (Bahá'í Studies Notebook,
March 1983) has a number of articles dealing with family therapy, love, parental authority, and domestic
violence. Janet Huggins in "Exploring Male Oppression from a Family-Systems Perspective" (J.B.S., 3.2, 1990:
47-55) speaks of the need to avoid the villain-victim dichotomy in attempts to resolve male oppression. "The
Impact of Religion, Socioeconomic Status, and Degree of Religiosity in Family Planning Amongs Moslems and
Bahá'ís in Iran" Ed.D., U. of Northern Colorado (1981) by Mehri Samandari Jensen constrasts Muslim and
Bahá'í fertility rates in Iran.
Sociological views

Contemporary society generally views family as a haven from the world, supplying absolute fulfillment. The
family is considered to encourage "intimacy, love and trust where individuals may escape the competition of
dehumanizing forces in modern society." During industrialization, "[t]he family as a repository of warmth and
tenderness (embodied by the mother) stands in opposition to the competitive and aggressive world of commerce
(embodied by the father). The family's task was to protect against the outside world."[21] However, Zinn and
Eizen note, "The protective image of the family has waned in recent years as the ideals of family fulfillment
have taken shape. Today, the family is more compensatory than protective. It supplies what is vitally needed but
missing in other social arrangements".[22] “The popular wisdom,” Zinn and Eitzen say, is that the family
structures of the past were superior to those today and families were more stable and happier at a time when
they did not have to contend with problems such as illegitimate children and divorce. They respond to this,
saying, “there is no golden age of the family gleaming at us in the far back historical past”.[23] "Desertion by
spouses, illegitimate children, and other conditions that are considered characteristics of modern times existed
in the past as well."[24] Still others argue that whether or not we view the family as "declining" depends on our
definition of "family." The high rates of divorce and out-of-wedlock births indicate a decline in the institution of
the family. No longer are marriages arranged for political or economic gain, and children are not expected to
contribute to family income. Instead, people choose mates based on love. This increased role of love indicates a
societal shift toward favoring emotional fulfillment and relationships within a family, and this shift necessarily
weakens the institution of the family.[25]

Oedipal family model and fascism

The model, common in the western societies, of the family triangle, husband-wife-children isolated from the
outside, is also called oedipal model of the family, and it is a form of patriarchal family. Many philosophers and
psychiatrists analyzed such a model. One of the most prominent of such studies is Anti-Œdipus by Deleuze and
Guattari (1972). Michel Foucault, in its renowned preface, remarked how the primary focus of this study is the
fight against contemporary fascism.[26]

And not only historical fascism, the fascism of Hitler and Mussolini [...] but also the fascism in us
“ all, in our heads and in our everyday behavior, the fascism that causes us to love power, to desire the
”
very thing that dominates and exploits us.

In the family, they argue, the young develop in a perverse relationship, wherein they learn to love the same
person who beats and oppresses them. The family therefore constitutes the first cell of the fascist society, as
they will carry this attitude of love for oppressive figures in their adult life.[26][27] Kindship and family forms
have often been thought to impact the social relations in the society as a whole, and therefore been described as
the first cell or the building social unit of the structure of a society.[28][29] Fathers torment their sons.[29][30]
Deleuze and Guattari, in their analysis of the dynamics at work within a family, "track down all varieties of
fascism, from the enormous ones that surround and crush us to the petty ones that constitute the tyrannical
bitterness of our everyday lives".[26] As it has been explained by Deleuze, Guattari and Foucault, as well as other
philosophers and psychiatrists such as Laing and Reich, the patriarchal-family conceived in the West tradition
serves the purpose of perpetuating a propertarian and authoritarian society.[31] The child grows according to the
oedipal model, which is typical of the structure of capitalist societies,[9][10] and he becomes in turn owner of
submissive children and protector of the woman.[30][32][33][34][35] Some argue that the family institution conflicts
with human nature and human primitive desires and that one of its core functions is performing a suppression of
instincts,[9][10] a repression of desire commencing with the earliest age of the child.[31] As the young undergoes
physical and psychological repression from someone for whom they develop love, they develop a loving
attitude towards authority figures. They will bring such attitude in their adult life, when they will desire social
repression and will form docile subjects for society.[31] Michel Foucault, in his systematic study of sexuality,
argued that rather than being merely repressed, the desires of the individual are efficiently mobilized and used,
[26]
to control the individual, alter interpersonal relationships and control the masses. Foucault believed
organized religion, through moral prohibitions, and economic powers, through advertising, make use of
unconscious sex drives. Dominating desire, they dominate individuals.[36] According to the analysis of Michel
Foucault, in the west:

the [conjugal] family organization, precisely to the extent that it was insular and heteromorphous
with respect to the other power mechanisms, was used to support the great "maneuvers"
employed for the Malthusian control of the birthrate, for the populationist incitements, for the
medicalization of sex and the psychiatrization of its nongenital forms.

—Michel Foucault, The History of Sexuality vol I, chap. IV, sect. Method, rule 3, p.99

Inbreeding
A study performed by scientists from Iceland found that mating with a relative can significantly increase the
number of children in a family. Many societies consider inbreeding unacceptable. Scientists warn that
inbreeding may raise the chances of a child inheriting two copies of disease-causing recessive genes, leading to
genetic disorders and higher infant mortality. Scientists found that couples formed of relatives had more
children and grandchildren than unrelated couples. The study revealed that when a husband and wife were third
cousins, they had an average of 4.0 children and 9.2 grandchildren. If a woman was in relationship with her
eighth cousin, then the number of children declined, showing an average of 3.3 children and 7.3 grandchildren.
[37]

Size
Natalism is the belief that human reproduction is the basis for individual existence, and therefore promotes
having large families. Many religions, e.g., Islam, Catholicism and Judaism,[38] encourage their followers to
procreate and have many children. In recent times, however, there has been an increasing amount of family
planning and a following decrease in total fertility rate in many parts of the world, in part due to concerns of
overpopulation. Many countries with population decline offer incentives for people to have large families as a
means of national efforts to reverse declining populations.

MARRIAGE

Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. It is an institution in which
interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged in a variety of ways, depending on
the culture or subculture in which it is found. Such a union, often formalized via a wedding ceremony, may also
be called matrimony.

People marry for many reasons, including one or more of the following: legal, social, emotional, economical,
spiritual, and religious. These might include arranged marriages, family obligations, the legal establishment of a
nuclear family unit, the legal protection of children and public declaration of commitment.[1][2] The act of
marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved. In some societies
these obligations also extend to certain family members of the married persons. In cultures that allow the
dissolution of a marriage this is known as divorce.

Marriage is usually recognized by the state, a religious authority, or both. It is often viewed as a contract. Civil
marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution irrespective of religious affiliation, in
accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction. If recognized by the state, by the religion(s) to which the
parties belong or by society in general, the act of marriage changes the personal and social status of the
individuals who enter into it.

Selection of a partner
Main articles: Arranged marriage and Forced marriage

An arranged marriage between Louis XIV of France and Maria Theresa of Spain.

There is wide cross-cultural variation in the social rules governing the selection of a partner for marriage. There
is variation in the degree to which partner selection is an individual decision by the partners or a collective
decision by the artners kin groups, and there is variation in the rules regulating which partners are valid choices.

In many societies the choice of partner is limited to suitable persons from specific social groups. In some
societies the rule is that a partner is selected from an individual's own social group - endogamy, this is the case
in many class and caste based societies. But in other societies a partner must be chosen from a different group
than one's own - exogamy, this is the case in many societies practicing totemic religion where society is divided
into several exogamous totemic clans, such as most aboriginal Australian societies. In other societies a person is
expected to marry their cross-cousin, a woman must marry her father's sister's son and a man must marry his
mother's brother's daughter - this is often the case if either a society has a rule of tracing kinship exclusively
through patrilineal or matrilineal descent groups as among the Akan people of Africa. Another kind of marriage
selection is the levirate marriage in which widows are obligated to marry their husband's brother, this is mostly
found in societies where kinship is based on endogamous clan groups.

In other cultures with less strict rules governing the groups from which a partner can be chosen the selection of
a marriage partner may involve either the couple going through a selection process of courtship or the marriage
may be arranged by the couple's parents or an outside party, a matchmaker.

A pragmatic (or 'arranged') marriage is made easier by formal procedures of family or group politics. A
responsible authority sets up or encourages the marriage; they may, indeed, engage a professional matchmaker
to find a suitable spouse for an unmarried person. The authority figure could be parents, family, a religious
official, or a group consensus. In some cases, the authority figure may choose a match for purposes other than
marital harmony.

In rural Indian villages, child marriage is also practiced, with parents at times arranging the wedding, sometimes
even before the child is born.[40] This practice is now illegal under the Child Marriage Restraint Act.

In some societies ranging from Central Asia to the Caucasus to Africa, the custom of bride kidnapping still
exists, in which a woman is captured by a man and his friends. Sometimes this covers an elopement, but
sometimes it depends on sexual violence. In previous times, raptio was a larger-scale version of this, with
groups of women captured by groups of men, sometimes in war; the most famous example is The Rape of the
Sabine Women, which provided the first citizens of Rome with their wives.

Other marriage partners are more or less imposed on an individual. For example, widow inheritance provides a
widow with another man from her late husband's brothers.

Marriage ceremony
Main article: Wedding
Couple married in a Shinto ceremony in Takayama, Gifu prefecture.

A marriage is usually formalized at a wedding or marriage ceremony. The ceremony may be officiated either by
a religious official, by a government official or by a state approved celebrant. In many European and some Latin
American countries, any religious ceremony must be held separately from the required civil ceremony. Some
countries - such as Belgium, Bulgaria, France, the Netherlands, Romania and Turkey[41] - require that a civil
ceremony take place before any religious one. In some countries - notably the United States, Canada, the United
Kingdom, the Republic of Ireland, Norway and Spain - both ceremonies can be held together; the officiant at
the religious and civil ceremony also serving as agent of the state to perform the civil ceremony. To avoid any
implication that the state is "recognizing" a religious marriage (which is prohibited in some countries) - the
"civil" ceremony is said to be taking place at the same time as the religious ceremony. Often this involves
simply signing a register during the religious ceremony. If the civil element of the religious ceremony is
omitted, the marriage is not recognized by government under the law.

While some countries, such as Australia, permit marriages to be held in private and at any location, others,
including England and Wales, require that the civil ceremony be conducted in a place open to the public and
specially sanctioned by law. In England, the place of marriage need no longer be a church or register office, but
could also be a hotel, historic building or other venue that has obtained the necessary license. An exception can
be made in the case of marriage by special emergency license, which is normally granted only when one of the
parties is terminally ill. Rules about where and when persons can marry vary from place to place. Some
regulations require that one of the parties reside in the locality of the registry office.

Within the parameters set by the law of the jurisdiction in which a marriage or wedding takes place, each
religious authority has rules for the manner in which weddings are to be conducted by their officials and
members.

Cohabitation
See also: Cohabitation

Marriage is an institution which can join together people's lives in a variety of emotional and economic ways. In
many Western cultures, marriage usually leads to the formation of a new household comprising the married
couple, with the married couple living together in the same home, often sharing the same bed, but in some other
cultures this is not the tradition.[42] Among the Minangkabau of West Sumatra, residency after marriage is
matrilocal, with the husband moving into the household of his wife's mother.[43] Residency after marriage can
also be patrilocal or avunculocal. Such marriages have also been increasingly common in modern Beijing. Guo
Jianmei, director of the center for women's studies at Beijing University, told a Newsday correspondent,
"Walking marriages reflect sweeping changes in Chinese society."[44] A similar arrangement in Saudi Arabia,
called misyar marriage, also involves the husband and wife living separately but meeting regularly.[45]

Conversely, marriage is not a prerequisite for cohabitation. In some cases couples living together do not wish to
be recognized as married, such as when pension or alimony rights are adversely affected, or because of taxation
consideration, or because of immigration issues, and for many other reasons. In modern western societies some
couples cohabitate before marriage to test whether such an arrangement might work in the long term.

In some cases cohabitation may constitute a common-law marriage, and in some countries the laws recognize
cohabitation in preference to the formality of marriage for taxation and social security benefits. This is the case,
for example, in Australia.[46]

Sex and procreation

See also: Chastity and Adultery

Christ and the woman taken in adultery by Jan Brueghel the Elder, Pinakothek

Many of the world's major religions look with disfavor on sexual relations outside of marriage.[47] Many
nonsecular states, mostly with Muslim majorities, sanction criminal penalties for sexual intercourse before
marriage. Sexual relations by a married person with someone other than his/her spouse is known as adultery and
is also frequently disapproved by the major world religions (some calling it a sin). Adultery is considered in
many jurisdictions to be a crime and grounds for divorce.

On the other hand, marriage is not a prerequisite for having children. In the United States, the National Center
for Health Statistics reported that in 1992, 30.1 percent of births were to unmarried women.[48][49] In 2006, that
number had risen to 38.5 percent.[50] Children born outside of marriage, bastards and whoresons, were known as
illegitimate and suffered legal disadvantages and social stigma. In recent years the legal relevance of
illegitimacy has declined and social acceptance has increased, especially in western countries.

Some married couples choose not to have children and so remain childfree. Others are unable to have children
because of infertility or other factors preventing conception or the bearing of children. In some cultures,
marriage imposes an obligation on women to bear children. In northern Ghana, for example, payment of
bridewealth signifies a woman's requirement to bear children, and women using birth control face substantial
threats of physical abuse and reprisals.[51]

Marriage law
Main article: Marriage law

Marriage laws refer to the legal requirements which determine the validity of a marriage, which vary
considerably between countries.
Common-law marriage

See also: Common-law marriage

In some jurisdictions but not all, marriage relationships may be created by the operation of the law alone.
Unlike the typical ceremonial marriage with legal contract, wedding ceremony, and other details, a common-
law marriage may be called "marriage by habit and repute (cohabitation)." A de facto common-law marriage
without a license or ceremony is legally binding in some jurisdictions but has no legal consequence in others.[52]

Rights and obligations

See also: Rights and responsibilities of marriages in the United States

A Ketubah in Hebrew, a Jewish marriage-contract outlining the duties of each partner.

A marriage bestows rights and obligations on the married parties, and sometimes on relatives as well, being the
sole mechanism for the creation of affinal ties (in-laws). These may include:

• Giving a husband/wife or his/her family control over a spouse's sexual services, labor, and property.
• Giving a husband/wife responsibility for a spouse's debts.
• Giving a husband/wife visitation rights when his/her spouse is incarcerated or hospitalized.
• Giving a husband/wife control over his/her spouse's affairs when the spouse is incapacitated.
• Establishing the second legal guardian of a parent's child.
• Establishing a joint fund of property for the benefit of children.
• Establishing a relationship between the families of the spouses.

These rights and obligations vary considerably between societies, and between groups within society.[53]

Marriage restrictions

Main article: Marriage law#Marriage restrictions

Marriage is an institution that is historically filled with restrictions. From age, to race, to social status, to
consanguinity, to gender, restrictions are placed on marriage by society for reasons of benefiting the children,
passing on healthy genes, maintaining cultural values, or because of prejudice and fear. Almost all cultures that
recognize marriage also recognize adultery as a violation of the terms of marriage.[54]

The United States has had a history of marriage restriction laws. Many states enacted miscegenation laws which
were first introduced in the late 17th century in the slave-holding colonies of Virginia (1691) and Maryland
(1692) and lasted until 1967 (until it was overturned via Loving v. Virginia). Many of these states restricted
several minorities from marrying whites. For example, Alabama, Arkansas, and Oklahoma banned Blacks in
particular. States such as Mississippi and Missouri banned Blacks and Asians. States such as North Carolina and
South Carolina banned Blacks and Native Americans, and some states such as Georgia, South Carolina, and
Virginia banned all non-whites.

It is a relatively new practice that same-sex couples are being granted the same form of legal marital recognition
available to mixed-sexed couples. In the United States, the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) explicitly
defines marriage for the purposes of federal law as between a man and a woman and allows states to ignore
same-sex marriages from other states (though states arguably could do this already).[55][56] Forty-one US states
currently define marriage as between a man and a woman. Three of those states have statutory language that
pre-dates DOMA (enacted before 1996) defining marriage as such. Thirty states have defined marriage in their
constitutions. Arizona is the only state that has ever defeated a constitutional amendment defining marriage
between a man and a woman (2006), but it subsequently passed one in 2008.[57]

Societies have often placed restrictions on marriage to relatives, though the degree of prohibited relationship
varies widely. With few exceptions, marriages between parents and children or between full siblings have been
considered incest and forbidden. However, marriages between more distant relatives have been much more
common, with one estimate being that 80% of all marriages in history have been between second cousins or
closer.[58] In modern times this proportion has fallen dramatically, but still more than 10% of all marriages are
believed to be between first and second cousins.[59] In the United States, such marriages are now highly
stigmatized, and laws ban most or all first-cousin marriage in 30 states. Specifics vary: in South Korea,
historically it was illegal to marry someone with the same last name.[60]

Many societies have required a person to marry within their own general social group, which anthropologists
refer to as endogamy. An example of such restrictions would be a requirement to marry someone from the same
tribe.

Restrictions against polygamy have been common. Opposition to the recognition of Deseret as a State by the
Federal government was founded on opposition to the once-practiced polygamous marriages of Mormons

MARRIAGE AND RELIGION

All mainstream religions have strong views relating to marriage. Most religions perform a wedding ceremony to
solemnize the beginning of a marriage.

Abrahamic religions

In the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament)

Rembrandt's depiction of Samson's marriage feast

A Jewish wedding, painting by Jozef Israëls, 1903.

The Hebrew Bible (Christian Old Testament) describes a number of marriages, including those of Isaac,[Gen 24:49-
67]
Jacob,[Gen 29:27] and Samson.[Judg 14:7-12] Polygyny, or men having multiple wives at once, is one of the most
common marital arrangements represented in the Hebrew Bible,[61] yet scholars doubt that it was common
among average Israelites because of the wealth needed to practice it.[62]

Betrothal (erusin), which is merely a binding promise to get married, is distinct from marriage itself (nissu'in),
with the time between these events varying substantially.[61][63] Since a wife was regarded as property in those
days, the betrothal (erusin) was effected simply by purchasing her from her father (or guardian);[61][63] the girl’s
consent is not explicitly required by any biblical law.[63] Like the adjacent Arabic culture (in the pre-Islamic
period),[64] the act of marriage appears mainly to have consisted of the groom fetching the bride, although
among the Israelites (unlike the Arabs) the procession was a festive occasion, accompanied by music, dancing,
and lights.[61][63] To celebrate the marriage, week-long feasts were sometimes held.[61][63]

In biblical times, a wife was regarded as chattel, belonging to her husband;[61][63] the descriptions of the bible
suggest that she would be expected to perform tasks such as spinning, sewing, weaving, manufacture of
clothing, fetching of water, baking of bread, and animal husbandry.[65] However, wives were usually looked
after with care, and bigamous men were expected to ensure that they give their first wife food, clothing, and
sexual activity.[Ex 21:10]

Since a wife was regarded as property, her husband was originally free to divorce her for any reason, at any
time.[63] A divorced couple were permitted to get back together, unless the wife had married someone else after
her divorce.[Deut 24:2-4]

Judaism

Main article: Jewish views of marriage

In Judaism, marriage is viewed as a contractual bond commanded by God in which a man and a woman come
together to create a relationship in which God is directly involved.[Deut. 24:1] Though procreation is not the sole
purpose, a Jewish marriage is also expected to fulfill the commandment to have children.[Gen. 1:28] The main focus
centers around the relationship between the husband and wife. Kabbalistically, marriage is understood to mean
that the husband and wife are merging together into a single soul. This is why a man is considered "incomplete"
if he is not married, as his soul is only one part of a larger whole that remains to be unified.[66]

Christianity

Main article: Christian views of marriage

Christian wedding in Kyoto, Japan.

Christians believe that marriage is a gift from God, one that should not be taken for granted. They variously
regard it as a sacrament, a contract, a sacred institution, or a covenant.[67] From the very beginning of the
Christian Church, marriage law and theology have been a major matter.[68] The foundation of the Western
tradition of Christian marriages have been the teachings of Jesus Christ and the Apostle Paul.[29]

Christians often marry for religious reasons ranging from following the biblical injunction for a "man to leave
his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one,"[Gen. 2:24][69] to obeying Canon Law
stating marriage between baptized persons is a sacrament.[70]

Divorce and remarriage while generally not encouraged are regarded differently by each Christian
denomination. Most Protestant Churches allow people to marry again after a divorce. The Eastern Orthodox
Church allows divorce for a limited number of reasons, and in theory, but usually not in practice, requires that a
marriage after divorce be celebrated with a penitential overtone. In the Roman Catholic Church, marriage can
only be ended by an annulment where the Church for special reasons regards it as never having taken place

Financial considerations
The financial aspects of marriage vary between cultures and have changed over time.

In some cultures, dowries and bride prices continue to be required today. In both cases, the financial
arrangements are usually made between the groom (or his family) and the bride's family; with the bride in many
cases not being involved in the arrangement, and often not having a choice in whether to participate in the
marriage.

In Early Modern Britain, the social status of the couple was supposed to be equal. After the marriage, all the
property (called "fortune") and expected inheritances of the wife belonged to the husband.

Dowry

Main article: Dowry

A dowry was not an unconditional gift,[in Early Modern Britain?] but was usually a part of a wider marriage settlement.
For example, if the groom had other children, they could not inherit the dowry, which had to go to the bride's
children. In the event of her childlessness, the dowry had to be returned to her family, but sometimes not until
the groom's death or remarriage.

In some cultures, dowries continue to be required today (for example, in Sudan), while some countries impose
restrictions on the payment of dowry. In India, nearly 7,000 women were killed in 2001 over dowries,[98] and
activists believe that figures represent only a third of the actual number of such murders.[99]

Bride price and dower

Traditional, formal presentation of the bride price (also known as "sin sot" or "dowry") at an engagement
ceremony in Thailand

In other cultures, the groom or his family were expected to pay a bride price to the bride's family for the right to
marry the daughter, or dower, which was payable to the bride. This required the groom to work for the bride's
family for a set period of time.

In the Jewish tradition, the rabbis in ancient times insisted on the marriage couple entering into a marriage
contact, called a ketubah. Besides other things, the ketubah provided for an amount to be paid by the husband in
the event of a divorce or his estate in the event of his death. This amount was a replacement of the biblical
dower or bride price, which was payable at the time of the marriage by the groom to the father of the bride.[citation
needed] [Exodus 22:15-16]
This innovation was put in place because the biblical bride price created a major social
problem: many young prospective husbands could not raise the bride price at the time when they would
normally be expected to marry. So, to enable these young men to marry, the rabbis, in effect, delayed the time
that the amount would be payable, when they would be more likely to have the sum. It may also be noted that
both the dower and the ketubah amounts served the same purpose: the protection for the wife should her support
cease, either by death or divorce. The only difference between the two systems was the timing of the payment.
It is the predecessor to the wife's present-day entitlement to maintenance in the event of the breakup of
marriage, and family maintenance in the event of the husband not providing adequately for the wife in his will.
Another function performed by the ketubah amount was to provide a disincentive for the husband
contemplating divorcing his wife: he would need to have the amount to be able to pay to the wife.

Morning gifts, which might also be arranged by the bride's father rather than the bride, are given to the bride
herself; the name derives from the Germanic tribal custom of giving them the morning after the wedding night.
She might have control of this morning gift during the lifetime of her husband, but is entitled to it when
widowed. If the amount of her inheritance is settled by law rather than agreement, it may be called dower.
Depending on legal systems and the exact arrangement, she may not be entitled to dispose of it after her death,
and may lose the property if she remarries. Morning gifts were preserved for many centuries in morganatic
marriage, a union where the wife's inferior social status was held to prohibit her children from inheriting a
noble's titles or estates. In this case, the morning gift would support the wife and children. Another legal
provision for widowhood was jointure, in which property, often land, would be held in joint tenancy, so that it
would automatically go to the widow on her husband's death.

Islamic tradition has similar practices. A 'mahr', either immediate or deferred, is the woman's portion of the
groom's wealth (divorce) or estate (death). These amounts are usually set on the basis of the groom's own and
family wealth and incomes, but in some parts these are set very high so as to provide a disincentive for the
groom exercising the divorce, or the husband's family 'inheriting' a large portion of the estate, especially if there
are no male offspring from the marriage. In some countries, including Iran, the mahr or alimony can amount to
more than a man can ever hope to earn, sometimes up to US$1,000,000 (4000 official Iranian gold coins). If the
husband cannot pay the mahr, either in case of a divorce or on demand, according to the current laws in Iran, he
will have to pay it by installments. Failure to pay the mahr might even lead to imprisonment.[100]

Modern customs

In many countries today, each marriage partner has the choice of keeping his or her property separate or
combining properties. In the latter case, called community property, when the marriage ends by divorce each
owns half. In many legal jurisdictions, laws related to property and inheritance provide by default for property
to pass upon the death of one party in a marriage firstly to the spouse and secondly to the children. Wills and
trusts can make alternative provisions for property succession.

In some legal systems, the partners in a marriage are "jointly liable" for the debts of the marriage. This has a
basis in a traditional legal notion called the "Doctrine of Necessities" whereby a husband was responsible to
provide necessary things for his wife. Where this is the case, one partner may be sued to collect a debt for which
they did not expressly contract. Critics of this practice note that debt collection agencies can abuse this by
claiming an unreasonably wide range of debts to be expenses of the marriage. The cost of defense and the
burden of proof is then placed on the non-contracting party to prove that the expense is not a debt of the family.
The respective maintenance obligations, both during and eventually after a marriage, are regulated in most
jurisdictions; alimony is one such method.

Some have attempted to analyze the institution of marriage using economic theory; for example, anarcho-
capitalist economist David D. Friedman has written a lengthy and controversial study of marriage as a market
transaction (the market for husbands and wives).[101] In the past the economic status of women was enhanced
through marriage; however, as more women work nowadays, men gain more economically than women.[102]

Taxation

In some countries, spouses are allowed to average their incomes; this is advantageous to a married couple with
disparate incomes. To compensate for this somewhat, many countries provide a higher tax bracket for the
averaged income of a married couple. While income averaging might still benefit a married couple with a stay-
at-home spouse, such averaging would cause a married couple with roughly equal personal incomes to pay
more total tax than they would as two single persons. This is commonly called the marriage penalty.

Moreover, when the rates applied by the tax code are not based on averaging the incomes, but rather on the sum
of individuals' incomes, higher rates will definitely apply to each individual in a two-earner households in
progressive tax systems. This is most often the case with high-income taxpayers and is another situation where
some consider there to be a marriage penalty.

Conversely, when progressive tax is levied on the individual with no consideration for the partnership, dual-
income couples fare much better than single-income couples with similar household incomes. The effect can be
increased when the welfare system treats the same income as a shared income thereby denying welfare access to
the non-earning spouse. Such systems apply in Australia and Canada, for example.

Other considerations

Sometimes people marry for purely pragmatic reasons, sometimes called a marriage of convenience or sham
marriage. For example, according to one publisher of information about "green card" marriages, "Every year
over 450,000 United States citizens marry foreign-born individuals and petition for them to obtain a permanent
residency (Green Card) in the United States." While this is likely an over-estimate, in 2003 alone 184,741
immigrants were admitted to the U.S. as spouses of U.S. citizens.[103] Many more were admitted as fiancés of US
citizens for the purpose of being married within 90 days. Regardless of the number of people entering the US to
marry a US citizen, it does not indicate the number of these marriages that are convenience marriages, which
number could include some of those with the motive of obtaining permanent residency, but also include many
people who are US citizens. One example would be to obtain an inheritance that has a marriage clause. Another
example would be to save money on health insurance or to enter a health plan with preexisting conditions
offered by the new spouse's employer. Many other situations exist, and, in fact, all marriages have a complex
combination of conveniences motivating the parties to marry. A marriage of convenience is one that is devoid
of normal reasons to marry.
Some people want to marry a person with higher or lower status than them. Others want to marry people who
have similar status. Hypergyny refers to the act of seeking out those who are of slightly higher social status. In
most cases, hypergyny refers to women wanting men of higher status. Isogyny refers to the act of seeking out
those who are of similar status.

Termination
In most societies, the death of one of the partners terminates the marriage, and in monogamous societies this
allows the other partner to remarry, though sometimes after a waiting or mourning period.

Many societies also provide for the termination of marriage through divorce. Marriages can also be annulled in
some societies, where an authority declares that a marriage never happened. In either event the people
concerned are free to remarry (or marry). After divorce, one spouse may have to pay alimony.

The absolute right of two married partners to consent to divorce was only recognized in western nations in
recent decades. In the United States no-fault divorce was first recognized in California in 1969 and the final
state to recognize it was New York in 1989.[104]

Temporary marriages
Several cultures have practiced temporary and conditional marriages. Examples include the Celtic practice of
handfasting and fixed-term marriages in the Muslim community. Pre-Islamic Arabs practiced a form of
temporary marriage that carries on today in the practice of Nikah Mut'ah, a fixed-term marriage contract. The
prophet Muhammad sanctioned a temporary marriage—sigheh in Iran and muta'a in Iraq— which can provide a
legitimizing cover for sex workers.[105] Muslim controversies related to Nikah Mut'ah have resulted in the
practice being confined mostly to Shi'ite communities.

Post-marital residence
Early theories explaining the determinants of postmarital residence (e.g., Lewis Henry Morgan, Edward Tylor,
or George Peter Murdock) connected it with the sexual division of labor. However, to date, cross-cultural tests
of this hypothesis using worldwide samples have failed to find any significant relationship between these two
variables. However, Korotayev's tests show that the female contribution to subsistence does correlate
significantly with matrilocal residence in general; however, this correlation is masked by a general polygyny
factor. Although an increase in the female contribution to subsistence tends to lead to matrilocal residence, it
also tends simultaneously to lead to general non-sororal polygyny which effectively destroys matrilocality. If
this polygyny factor is controlled (e.g., through a multiple regression model), division of labor turns out to be a
significant predictor of postmarital residence. Thus, Murdock's hypotheses regarding the relationships between
the sexual division of labor and postmarital residence were basically correct, though, as has been shown by
Korotayev, the actual relationships between those two groups of variables are more complicated than he
expected.[106][107]

In modern societies we observe a trend toward the neolocal residence.[108]

Controversial views

See also: Anti-miscegenation laws, Interracial marriage, Transnational marriage, Interfaith marriage, Mixed
marriage (disambiguation), Same-sex marriage, Divorce, Polygamy, Child marriage, and Arranged marriage

Many controversies have arisen over the centuries in relation to marriage - including issues relating to the
suitability of partners of different denominations, faiths, tribes or races, the acceptable number and minimum
age of wives, the rights of partners, especially wives, and wider family obligations. For example, a
contemporary controversy of particular significance in the USA concerns the exclusion of homosexual
relationships from legal and social recognition and the rights and obligations it provides. Social conservatives
opposed to same-sex marriage in some countries claim that any attempt to define marriage to include anything
other than the union of one man and one woman would "deprive the term of its fundamental and defining
meaning."[109] In other countries, polygamy is a "socially conservative" practice.[citation needed] Advocates of same-
faith marriage and same-race marriage may criticize the legalization of interfaith marriage[110] and interracial
marriage,[111] respectively.

Currently 37 U.S. states have passed laws which define marriage as limited to a union between one man and
one woman: 33 state legislatures have passed statutes to that effect, and 4 states (Alaska, Hawaii, Nebraska and
Nevada) have, by popular vote, passed Defense of Marriage Acts (DOMAs) as constitutional amendments; the
Ohio state legislature is currently debating a Defense of Marriage Act. Thirteen states, therefore, do not
currently have laws on their books which limit marriage to a union between one man and one woman.[112]

The state of Massachusetts has sued the U.S. federal government over its definition of marriage. The lawsuit,
brought by the first state to legalize gay marriage, said the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) infringed on
a state's sovereign right to define marital status. The lawsuit alleges that DOMA infringed on a state's sovereign
right to define marital status and is unconstitutional.

TPYES OF MARRIAGE

CIVIL MARRIAGE

Civil marriage is marriage performed by a government official and not a religious organisation. Every country
maintaining a population registry of its residents keeps track of marital status, and most countries believe that it
is their responsibility to register married couples. Most countries define the conditions of civil marriage
separately from religious requirements. Certain countries, such as Israel, only allow couples to register on the
condition that they have first been married in a religious ceremony recognised by the state, or were married in a
different country

SAME-SEX MARRIAGE

Same-sex marriage (also called gay marriage)[1] is a legally or socially recognized marriage between two
persons of the same biological sex or social gender. Since 2001, ten countries and various other jurisdictions
have begun legally formalizing same-sex marriages, and the recognition of such marriages is a civil rights,
political, social, moral, and religious issue in many nations. The conflicts arise over whether same-sex couples
should be allowed to enter into marriage, be required to use a different status (such as a civil union, which either
grant equal rights as marriage or limited rights in comparison to marriage), or not have any such rights. A
related issue is whether the term marriage should be applied

COMMON –LAW MARRIAGE

Common-law marriage, sometimes called sui juris marriage, informal marriage or marriage by habit and
repute, is a form of interpersonal status that is legally recognized in some jurisdictions as a marriage even
though no legally recognized marriage ceremony is performed or civil marriage contract is entered into or the
marriage registered in a civil registry. A common-law marriage is legally binding in some common law
jurisdictions but has no legal consequence in others. In some jurisdictions without true common-law marriages,
for example, Hungary, the term "common-law marriage" is used as a synonym for non-marital relationships
such as domestic partnership or reciprocal beneficiaries relationship. A Sui Juris Marriage might only apply in
the United States in this form.[1]
Common-law marriage is often contrasted with the ceremonial marriage.

Essential distinctions
The essential distinctions of a common-law marriage are following:

1. Common-law marriages are not licensed by government authorities, although they may be recorded in
the public records of some governmental entities, but do not need to be registered at all.
2. Common-law marriages are not solemnized.
3. Cohabitation alone does not create a common-law marriage; the couple must hold themselves out to the
world as spouses (Saskatchewan, Canada, excepted); and
1. There must be mutual consent of the parties to the relationship constituting a marriage
(Saskatchewan excepted).
2. Both parties must be of legal age to enter into a marriage or have parental consent to marry.
3. Both parties must be otherwise qualified to enter into a marriage, including being unmarried
(Saskatchewan excepted), of sound mind, and, in many states, not sentenced to or serving a term
of life in prison.
4. In some jurisdictions, a couple must have cohabited and held themselves out to the world as husband
and wife for a significant period of time, not defined in any state, for the marriage to be recognised as
valid.[1] With the exception of Saskatchewan, Canada, no Western World legal jurisdiction is known to
allow common law marriages to be created while one or more of the cohabitants are civilly married and
not divorced.

MANOGAMOUS MARRIAGE

Monogamy refers to a form of marriage in which an individual has only one spouse at any one time. However,
monogamy may also refer to the more general state of having only one mate at any one time and as such may be
applied to the social behavior of some animals.[1] In current usage monogamy often refers to having one sexual
partner irrespective of marriage or reproduction.

Aspects of monogamy
• Social monogamy refers to two persons/creatures who live together, have sex with each other, and
cooperate in acquiring basic resources such as food, clothes, and money.
• Sexual monogamy refers to two persons/creatures who remain sexually exclusive with each other and
have no outside sex partners.
• Genetic monogamy refers to two partners that only have offspring with each other.
• Marital monogamy refers to marriages of only two people.

NIKAH ‘URFI MARRIAGE

Nikah 'urfi is a kind of muslim marriage. It is similar to the nikah ceremony. An 'urfi marriage is a marriage
without an official contract. Couples repeat the words, "we got married" and pledge commitment before god.
Usually a paper, stating that the two are married, is written and two witnesses sign it. Most islamic countries do
not recognize 'urfi marriages and no partner can get a 'legal' divorce since the government does not recognize
the legality of the marriage in the first place

MARRIAGE COUNSELLING
Long lasting, successful marriages can be hard work and it’s normal for couples to encounter rough waters at times. In
fact, it’s inevitable. As a relationship therapist, I’ve seen enough struggling couples in my office to know that it’s very
common for people to run into trouble and need a little outside assistance. It’s an act of bravery for people to drag their
weary selves - and their personal issues - into a therapist’s office and lay them at his/her feet. Reality dictates that not
everyone will be able to salvage their marriages. Sometimes the tangled weeds of resentment are too thick or the love as
it once was is truly gone. However, I believe in the counseling process to help those really wanting it. Having witnessed all
types of couples with all sorts of attitudes, I’ve been able to identify some things that people pondering marriage
counseling should consider prior to beginning the process. If you’re considering marriage counseling these points will help
you and your partner get the most out of your time, effort and money!

Here are my five tips to get the most out of marriage counseling that apply to both you and your partner:

1) Acknowledge A Problem Exists: How do each of you define the problem? Believe it or not, it’s not uncommon for one
of the partners to deny there’s an issue. Or, the partner says something like, “Well, if he’s upset about….then it’s his
problem.” Guess what… If your partner has a problem that is relationship-related then it is your problem because it’s a
problem of the marriage.

2) Acknowledge You Might Contribute to the Problem: It’s helpful to view a marriage as a system – where there’s a
certain homeostasis or balance occurring between the two elements of the system (the partners). The two parts can’t help
but impact and interrelate with each other. When one of you behaves in a certain way there’s a reaction by your mate –
and vice versa. It’s a rare day when one person is solely responsible for all of the problems in a marriage. There are
cycles or dances occurring constantly. As they say, “it takes two to tango.”

3) Be Willing to Consider Behavioral Change: A willingness to make adjustments in how you each act with each other
for the sake of the marriage will take you far in the counseling process. By taking this position you’re saying, “You’re worth
it. This marriage is worth it. I’m willing to meet you halfway.”

4) Monitor Your Expectations: Be aware of your expectations of the therapist. I know the look. A couple sits before me
on the couch, eyes pleading, “Fix me.” Or I will be asked directly, “Tell us what you think we should do.” If I had a magic
wand next to my chair, I’d pull it out and use it but I don’t! My role of a marriage counselor is to guide, explore, increase
awareness and educate about aspects of healthy relationships. The most powerful change occurs between the couple –
not as the direct result of a fancy trick I’ve pulled out of my bag.

5) Be Patient: The amount of time marriage counseling takes is dependent on a number of factors including amount of
resentment built up, length of time being unhappy and willingness to do things differently, to name just a few. It’s definitely
an investment of time, effort and hard earned money which can be frustrating and stressful for some people. This is totally
understandable. Try to stay focused on the goal – which is to get you and your partner on track again with a solid
relationship foundation. Remember, this is a life long investment.

Marriage counseling can be a number of experiences to different people; powerful, stressful, enlightening, emotional,
insightful, connecting, upsetting and so on. If you feel your marriage might benefit from it, I encourage you to discuss the
previous points with your partner. Ideally, you agree with all of them but if you don’t, this doesn’t necessarily mean
marriage counseling isn’t for you. These are only suggestions to assist you in increasing the odds of getting the most out
of the process. A skilled marriage counselor can still help you navigate through the murky waters – if that’s what you both
want.

Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual
development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the activity of raising a child rather than
the biological relationship.[1]

In the case of humans, it is usually done by the biological parents of the child in question,[2] although
governments and society take a role as well. In many cases, orphaned or abandoned children receive parental
care from non-parent blood relations. Others may be adopted, raised by foster care, or be placed in an
orphanage

What is Good Parenting

 • Saturday, December 4, 2010, 13:26
• Parenting, good parenting
• 1,034 views
• Add a comment

Fundamentally, good parenting is common sense. Whenever you want your children to grow successfully, then
sit and think of your past. What aspect of your life do you want to reflect in your children life as parent?
Although, raising children is not an easy task as parents. In as much that you know that raising your children
will give them a good structure in attitudes and personalities, and then it is advisable to do this good parenting
with love. This will motivate your children the more to yield to the task.

For your good parenting to materialize in your children, the first thing you should do is to gradually make your
children feel, think or behave in the exact way that you want. When you make your children feel, think or
behave in such manner, stay away from any negativity and concentrate on positive things although, it is not an
easy task. Do not insult your children so that you will not reduce their confidence. Try to set up and maintain a
raising method that is positive because when parents’ reaction is negative to children, it will instill distrust and
fear in the children’s mind.

Another method you can use in good parenting is your way of communication with your children. Be positive in
your mode of speaking when talking to your children. For instance, when you are disturbed in your spirit,
control yourself and do not let your problem affect your children because they are not the cause. Do not degrade
your children but rather create a true affirmative communication and reveal your problem to your children. Let
them know that they are not the cause and counsel them on the way to behave in this situation or period so that
you will not beat them. When you do this, the children will not disturb you and you will have sufficient time to
think and get the solution to your problem.

Let your children have enough time to know you better and give them grace to behave as member of the family.

Courtship is the period in a couple's relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage, or
establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind. In courtship, a couple get to know each other
and decide if there will be an engagement or other such agreement. A courtship may be an informal and private
matter between two people or may be a public affair, or a formal arrangement with family approval.
Traditionally, in the case of a formal engagement, it has been perceived that it is the role of a male to actively
"court" or "woo" a female, thus encouraging her interest in him and her receptiveness to a proposal of marriage.
In the western world, this concept of gender roles in courtship is changing, or has changed, in many societies.

Courtship may include the couple going out together in public, (often known as dating), for a meal, movie,
dance, sports or other social activity. Courtship may also involve private activities which usually include much
talking together, perhaps by telephone or by electronic means such as text messages or e-mail. There is often
exchange of letters, gifts, flowers and songs.

Duration
The average duration of courtship varies considerably throughout the world. Furthermore, there is vast
individual variation between couples. Courtship may be completely left out, as in cases of arranged marriages
where the couple do not meet before the wedding.

In the United Kingdom, a poll of 3,000[1] engaged or married couples resulted in an average duration between
first meeting and accepted proposal of marriage of 2 years and 11 months,[1][2] with the women feeling ready to
accept at an average of 2 years and 7 months.[1] Regarding duration between proposal and wedding, the UK poll
above gave an average of 2 years and 3 months.[
References
1. ^ http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats
2. ^ State of the World's Children, 2005, UNICEF
3. ^ Martin Ravallion, Shaohua Chen and Prem Sangraula, Dollar a day revisited, World Bank, May 2008
4. ^ http://abcnews.go.com/Business/page?id=4019746
5. ^ a b c Lino, Mark, Expenditures on Children by Families, 2006 (Miscellaneous Publication Number 1528-2006),
United States Department of Agriculture, Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion

WILL. C. van den HOONAARD

University of New Brunswick

DEBORAH K. van den HOONAARD

6. St. Thomas University