“LOST IS THAT SOUL WHICH DOES NOT SHINE IN YOUR REMEMBRANCE,

CURSED BE THAT HEART WHICH HAS NO LOVE FOR YOU, BLIND IS THAT
EYE WHICH DOES NOT DESIRE YOUR VISION, USELESS IS THAT TONGUE
WHICH IS NOT MOIST IN YOUR PRAISES AND FOOLISH IS THAT PERSON
WHO SEEMS TO THINK HE UNDERSTANDS YOUR SECRET”

ALLAHUMMA SALLI 'ALAA SAYYIDINA MUHAMMAD-IN

HAA I'R RAHMATI WA MEEM I'L MULKI WA DAAL I'D DAWAAMI
AS-SAYYID I'L KAAMIL I'L FATIH I'L KHAATIMI
'ADADA MAA FEE 'ILMIKA KAAINUN AU QAD KAANA
KULLAMAA ZAKARAKA WA ZAKARA HU'Z ZAAKIROON
WA KULLAMAA GHAFALA 'AN ZIKRIKA WA ZIKRI HI'L
GHAAFILOON
SALAATAN DAAIMATAN BI-DIWAAMIKA BAAQIYATAN BI-
BAQAAIKA
LAA MUNTAHAA LAHAA DOONA 'ILMIKA
INNAKA 'ALAA KULLI SHAY'IN QADEER

AMEEN, SUM AMEEN

KHAIRUL RABUL ALAMEEN
SALAM AY UMMATH YE MUHAMMADIAH (SALLA ALLAHU TA'ALA 'ALAYHI WA
SALLAM)

ASSALAM U WALAIKUM WA REHMATHULLILAH WAH BARAKATHU

BISMILLAH IRRAHMAN IRRAHIM

RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE HUSBAND AND RIGHTS OF THE WIFE IN ISLAM

MARRIAGE IN ISLAM

IN ISLAM, MARRIAGE IS A BLESSED CONTRACT BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN, IN

WHICH EACH BECOMES “PERMITTED” TO THE OTHER, AND THEY BEGIN THE LONG
JOURNEY OF LIFE IN A SPIRIT OF LOVE, CO-OPERATION, HARMONY AND TOLERANCE,
WHERE EACH FEELS AT EASE WITH THE OTHER, AND FINDS TRANQUILITY,
CONTENTMENT AND COMFORT IN THE COMPANY OF THE OTHER. THE QUR’AN HAS
DESCRIBED THIS RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN, WHICH BRINGS LOVE,
HARMONY, TRUST AND COMPASSION, IN THE MOST, MOVING AND ELOQUENT TERMS:

( AND AMONG HIS SIGNS IS THIS, THAT HE CREATED FOR YOU MATES FROM AMONG
YOURSELVES, THAT YOU MAY DWELL IN TRANQUILITY WITH THEM, AND HE HAS PUT
LOVE AND MERCY BETWEEN YOUR [HEARTS] . . .) (QUR’AN 30:21)

THIS IS THE STRONGEST OF BONDS, IN WHICH ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA) UNITES

THE TWO MUSLIM PARTNERS, WHO COME TOGETHER ON THE BASIS OF LOVE,
UNDERSTANDING, CO-OPERATION AND MUTUAL ADVICE, AND ESTABLISH A MUSLIM
FAMILY IN WHICH CHILDREN WILL LIVE AND GROW UP, AND THEY WILL DEVELOP THE
GOOD CHARACTER AND BEHAVIOR TAUGHT BY ISLAM. THE MUSLIM FAMILY IS THE
STRONGEST COMPONENT OF A MUSLIM SOCIETY WHEN ITS MEMBERS ARE PRODUCTIVE
AND CONSTRUCTIVE, HELPING AND ENCOURAGING ONE ANOTHER TO BE GOOD AND
RIGHTEOUS, AND COMPETING WITH ONE ANOTHER IN GOOD WORKS.

THE RIGHTEOUS WOMAN IS THE PILLAR, CORNERSTONE AND FOUNDATION OF THE

MUSLIM FAMILY. SHE IS SEEN AS THE GREATEST JOY IN A MAN’S LIFE, AS THE PROPHET
(SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM) SAID:

“THIS WORLD IS JUST TEMPORARY CONVENIENCES, AND THE BEST COMFORT IN THIS
WORLD IS A RIGHTEOUS WOMAN.”

A RIGHTEOUS WOMAN IS THE GREATEST BLESSING THAT ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA

TA’ALA) CAN GIVE TO A MAN, FOR WITH HER HE CAN FIND COMFORT AND REST AFTER
THE EXHAUSTING STRUGGLE OF EARNING A LIVING. WITH HIS WIFE, HE CAN FIND
INCOMPARABLE TRANQUILITY AND PLEASURE.

ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA) ORDERED THE BELIEVERS TO "CONSORT WITH WOMEN

IN KINDNESS" (4:19) AND HE SAID: "AND OF HIS SIGNS ARE THESE: HE CREATED FOR YOU
HELPMEETS FROM YOURSELVES THAT YE MIGHT FIND REST IN THEM, AND HE ORDAINED
BETWEEN YOU LOVE AND MERCY. LO, HEREIN INDEED ARE PORTENTS FOR FOLK WHO
REFLECT" (30:21).

A WIFE'S BASIC RIGHTS REGARDING HER HUSBAND'S BEHAVIOR

NOTE: THIS IS DISTINCT FROM HER OTHER RIGHTS REGARDING LIVING EXPENDITURES,
HOUSING, CLOTHING, AND EDUCATION OF CHILDREN. AND FROM ALLAH (SUBHANAHU
WA TA’ALA) COMES ALL SUCCESS.

1. THE FIRST AND WORTHIEST CONDITION OF MARRIAGE TO BE FULFILLED BY THE

HUSBAND IS TO "KEEP THE PROMISE OR PROMISES HE MADE TO THE WIFE AT THE TIME
HE MARRIED HER." THIS IS AN ORDER OF THE PROPHET (SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA
SALLAM) ACCORDING TO THE HADITH: "AHAQQU AL-SHURUTI AN TUFU BIHI MA
ASTAHLALTUM BIHI MIN AL-FURUJ"

2. HE CANNOT ORDER HER TO DO ANYTHING THAT IS AGAINST RELIGION. THE PROPHET

(SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM) SAID: "NO OBEDIENCE IS DUE TO CREATURES IN
DISOBEDIENCE OF THE CREATOR" (LA TA`ATAN LI MAKHLUQIN FI MA`SIYAT AL-KHALIQ).

3. HE MUST EXERCISE PATIENCE AND BE PREPARED TO LISTEN TO HER ADVICE IN EVERY

SITUATION. THE PROPHET (SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM) LISTENED TO THE
ADVICE OF HIS WIVES IN MATTERS RANGING FROM THE SMALLEST TO THE GREATEST.

4. IF SHE INVITES HIM TO WAKE UP AND PERFORM THE LATE NIGHT PRAYER, IT IS
PRAISEWORTHY FOR HIM TO DO SO AND VICE-VERSA. THE PROPHET (SALLALLAHU
‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM) PRAYED FOR SUCH PEOPLE: "MAY ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA
TA’ALA) GRANT MERCY TO A MAN WHO GETS UP AT NIGHT AND PRAYS, AND WAKES UP
HIS WIFE, AND IF SHE REFUSES, HE SPRINKLES WATER IN HER FACE; MAY ALLAH GRANT
MERCY TO A WOMAN WHO GETS UP AT NIGHT AND PRAYS, AND WAKES UP HER
HUSBAND, AND IF HE REFUSES, SHE SPRINKLES WATER IN HIS FACE."

5. HE MUST RESPECT HER AND PAY ATTENTION TO HER NEEDS SO THAT SHE WILL
RESPECT HIM AND PAY ATTENTION TO HIS.

6. HE MUST CONTROL HIS PASSIONS AND ACT IN A MODERATE MANNER ESPECIALLY IN

THE CONTEXT OF SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. REMEMBER THAT ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA
TA’ALA) HAS PLACED BETWEEN YOU AND HER "FRIENDSHIP AND MERCY" (MAWADDA
WA RAHMA), NOT THE GRATIFICATION OF YOUR EVERY LUST; AND THAT THE PROPHET
(SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM) ADVISED YOUNG MEN TO MARRY "BECAUSE IT
CASTS DOWN THE GAZE AND WALLS UP THE GENITALS," NOT IN ORDER TO STIMULATE
SEXUAL PASSIONS. THE HUSBAND SHOULD HABITUALLY SEEK REFUGE IN ALLAH
(SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA) BEFORE APPROACHING HIS WIFE AND SAY: "O ALLAH, WARD
OFF THE SATAN FROM US AND WARD HIM OFF FROM WHAT YOU HAVE BESTOWED UPON
US IN THE WAY OF CHILDREN" (ALLAHUMMA JANNIBNA AL-SHAYTANA WA JANNIBHU
MA RAZAQTANA). ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA) HAS CALLED EACH SPOUSE A
GARMENT FOR THE OTHER (2:187), AND THE PURPOSE OF GARMENTS IS DECENCY. THE
PROPHET (SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM) FURTHER SAID THAT HE WHO MARRIES
FOR THE SAKE OF DECENCY AND MODESTY (`AFAF), ALLAH HAS ENJOINED UPON
HIMSELF TO HELP HIM.

7. HE MUST NEVER EVER DIVULGE THE SECRETS OF THE HOUSEHOLD AND THOSE OF THE
MARRIED COUPLE.
8. HE MUST STRIVE WITH SINCERITY TO ACQUIRE HER TRUST, AND SEEK HER WELFARE
IN ALL THE ACTIONS THAT PERTAIN TO HER.

9. HE MUST TREAT HER GENEROUSLY AT ALL TIMES. THE PROPHET (SALLALLAHU

‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM) SAID THAT THE BEST GIFT OR CHARITY (SADAQA) IS THAT SPENT
ON ONE'S WIFE.

10. IF SHE WORKS OUTSIDE THE HOUSE, IT IS PRAISEWORTHY FOR THE HUSBAND TO HIRE
HOUSE HELP TO RELIEVE HER FROM TOO HEAVY A BURDEN. THE WIFE'S DUTIES DO NOT
REQUIRE HER TO FEED HER CHILD, NOR EVEN TO NURSE IT, NOR TO CLEAN NOR COOK. IT
IS THE HUSBAND'S DUTY TO PROVIDE A NURSEMAID, FOOD FOR OLDER CHILDREN, AND
SERVANTS TO CLEAN AND COOK. HOWEVER, IF THE WIFE DOES THOSE THINGS OUT OF
MERCY AND LOVE, IT IS A GIFT TO THE HUSBAND ON HER PART.

11. HE MUST AVOID EXCESSIVE JEALOUSY AND REMEMBER THAT ALLAH (SUBHANAHU
WA TA’ALA) IS ALSO JEALOUS THAT HE HIMSELF NOT COMMIT. THE PROPHET
(SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM) SAID: "DO NOT BE EXCESSIVELY JEALOUS OF YOUR
WIFE LEST EVIL BE HURLED AT HER ON YOUR ACCOUNT" (LA TUKTHIR AL-GHEERATA
`ALA AHLIKA FA TURAMA BI AL-SU'I MIN AJLIK) AND HE SAID: "ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA
TA’ALA) IS JEALOUS AND THE BELIEVER IS JEALOUS; AND ALLAH'S JEALOUSY IS THAT
THE BELIEVER SHOULD NOT GO TO THAT WHICH ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA) HAS
FORBIDDEN FOR HIM" (INNA ALLAHA YAGHARU WA AL- MU'MINU YAGHARU WA
GHEERAT ALLAHI IN YA'TIYA AL-MU'MINU MA HARRAMA `ALAYHI).

12. HE MUST PROTECT HER HONOR AND NOT PLACE HER IN SITUATIONS WHERE IT IS
COMPROMISED OR BELITTLED. THE PROPHET (SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM) SAID
THAT ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA) WILL NOT EVER LET HIM ENTER PARADISE WHO
CARES LITTLE WHO SHARES HIS WIFE'S PRIVACY. THIS INCLUDES THE HUSBAND'S
BROTHER, UNCLE, AND NEPHEW, LET ALONE NON-RELATED FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS, AND
COMPLETE STRANGERS.

13. HE MUST EXERCISE PATIENCE AND FORGIVENESS IN THE CASE OF DISAGREEMENT OR

DISPUTE, AND NOT RUSH TO DIVORCE. THE DECLARATION OF DIVORCE IS A GRAVE
MATTER INDEED, AND THE PROPHET (SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM) SAID: "OF
PERMITTED MATTERS THE MOST LOATHESOME BEFORE ALLAH IS DIVORCE" (ABGH`AD
AL-HALAL `IND ALLAH AL-TALAQ). IN ANOTHER HADITH HE SAID THAT DIVORCE IS SO
GRAVE THAT BECAUSE OF IT ALLAH'S THRONE IS MADE TO SHAKE. HE SAID: "THE BEST
INTERCESSION [I.E. INTERVENTION OF A THIRD PARTY] IS THAT WHICH BRINGS BACK
TOGETHER THE HUSBAND AND THE WIFE." WOMANIZING -- DIVORCE FOR THE PURPOSE
OF MARRYING ANOTHER WOMAN OUT OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION INCURS ALLAH'S CURSE
ACCORDING TO THE HADITH: "ALLAH'S CURSE IS ON THE WOMANIZING, DIVORCING
MAN" (LA`ANA ALLAHU KULLA DHAWWAAQIN MUTALLAAQ). FINALLY, EVEN IN THE
MIDST OF AND AFTER DIVORCE, ALLAH HAS PRESCRIBED KINDNESS UPON THE MAN:
"(AFTER PRONOUNCING DIVORCE) SHE MUST BE RETAINED IN HONOR OR RELEASED IN
KINDNESS" (2:228).

FOR THE ABOVE-MENTIONED REASON (I.E. TO PREVENT THE QUICKNESS OF DIVORCE), IN

HIS TIME, IBN TAYMIYYA GAVE THE IJTIHAD (JURIDICAL OPINION) BY SAYING THAT
THREE TALAQS IN ONE SITTING CONSTITUTED ONLY ONE. HE DID THIS TO INTERDICT
THE PREVALENT CUSTOM OF SUDDENLY GIVING THREE TALAQS, WHICH IN HIS TIME
WAS ON EVERYONE'S LIPS, (I.E. HAD BECOME SO COMMONPLACE AS TO BE A HABIT).
HOWEVER THE OTHER FOUR SCHOOLS OF FIQH HAD THE OPPOSITE OPINION IN THIS
MATTER.
14. HE MUST NOT DWELL ON WHAT HE DISLIKES IN HIS WIFE, BUT ON WHAT HE LIKES.

15. THE HUSBAND IS NOT TO STAY AWAY FROM HIS WIFE OR KEEP HIS WIFE IN A STATE
OF SUSPENSE, WHETHER AT HOME OR ABROAD, FOR A PROTRACTED PERIOD OF TIME
EXCEPT WITH HER CONSENT. ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA) SAID: "TURN NOT AWAY
(FROM YOUR WIFE) ALTOGETHER, SO AS TO LEAVE HER HANGING. IF YOU COME TO A
FRIENDLY UNDERSTANDING AND PRACTICE SELF-RESTRAINT, THEN ALLAH
(SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA) IS OFT-FORGIVING, MERCIFUL" (4:129). PROTRACTED
SEPARATION (6 MONTHS OR MORE IN THE SHAFI`I SCHOOL) WITHOUT PRIOR OR
SUBSEQUENT ARRANGEMENT WITH THE WIFE, WHETHER THE HUSBAND IS AWAY
WILLINGLY OR UNWILLINGLY (FOR EXAMPLE DUE TO WAR, IMPRISONMENT, OR ILLNESS)
IS SUFFICIENT GROUNDS FOR HER TO OBTAIN DIVORCE FROM THE JUDGE.

16. THE PROPHET (SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM) SAID: "DO NOT BEAT YOUR WIFE."
HE ALSO SAID: "DO NOT STRIKE YOUR WIFE IN THE FACE." THE EXPIATION FOR STRIKING
ONE'S SLAVE IN THE FACE IS TO SET HIM OR HER FREE ON THE SPOT, BUT WHAT
EXPIATION IS THERE FOR STRIKING ONE'S WIFE? THE PROPHET (SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI
WA SALLAM) CONDEMNED THE MAN WHO BEATS HIS WIFE IN THE DAY AND THEN
APPROACHES HER AT NIGHT. AND TO BEAT HER TO THE EXTENT OF INFLICTING SERIOUS
INJURY IS ENOUGH GROUNDS FOR HER TO OBTAIN DIVORCE FROM THE JUDGE.

17. CARING FOR ONE'S WIFE'S SEXUAL FULFILLMENT IS AN OBLIGATION OF RELIGION.

THE PROPHET (SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM) WARNED AGAINST RUSHING TO
GRATIFY ONE'S PLEASURE AND FORGETTING THAT OF ONE'S WIFE. HE ALSO DISLIKED
THAT THE HUSBAND SHOULD QUICKLY WITHDRAW FROM HIS WIFE AFTERWARDS, AS IT
IS A STRAIN UPON THE WIFE. IF SHE ASKS FOR INTERCOURSE, HE SHOULD NOT REFUSE.

CONCLUSION

THESE ARE ONLY SOME OF THE BASIC DUTIES OF THE HUSBAND IN ISLAM. THE STATE OF
MARRIAGE IS PART OF ONE'S ADHERENCE TO THE SUNNA AND AN EXALTED STATE OF
LIFE INDEED. IN THE WORDS OF THE PROPHET (SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM), IT
PERMITS ONE TO MEET ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA) "PURE AND CLEANSED"
(TAHIRAN MUTAHHARAN). ONE'S BEHAVIOR TOWARDS ONE'S WIFE IS THE MEASURE OF
THE PERFECTION OF ONE'S BELIEF AS THE PROPHET (SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM)
SAID: "THE MOST COMPLETE OF THE BELIEVERS IN HIS BELIEF IS HE WHO PERFECTS HIS
MANNERS, AND THE BEST OF YOU IN MANNERS ARE THOSE WHO ACT BEST TOWARDS
THEIR WIVES." MARRIAGE MUST BE APPROACHED WITH UTMOST SERIOUSNESS,
ENTERED WITH THE PUREST INTENT, AND CULTIVATED RELIGIOUSLY AS IT DOES NOT
COME CHEAPLY AND IT CARRIES IMMENSE REWARD. THE PROPHET (SALLALLAHU
‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM) CALLED IT "HIS WAY" (AL-NIKAHU SUNNATI) AND "HALF OF
RELIGION" AND HE ALSO SAID: "TWO RAK`AT (PRAYER-CYCLES) OF THE MARRIED
PERSON ARE BETTER THAN SEVENTY RAK`AT OF THE UNMARRIED." HE ALSO WARNED
THAT AMONG THE GREATEST OF RESPONSIBILITIES THAT HAD BEEN PLACED UPON MEN
IS THAT PERTAINING TO THE TREATMENT OF THEIR WIVES.

YAH UMMATH YE MUHAMMADIAH (SALLA ALLAHU TA'ALA 'ALAYHI WA SALLAM)

TODAY OUR MARRIAGE LIFE’S ARE NOT HAPPY AND NOT IN GOOD RELATIONSHIP,
BECAUSE OF LACKNESS OF LOVE AND MIS UNDERSTANDING.

FOLLOW THE SUNNAH OF OUR BELOVED AND TRY TO MAKE YOUR MARRIED LIFE AS
HEAVENLY. THE RESPONSIBILTY OF OUR FAMILY IS HUGE BURDEN ON OUR SHOULDER,
BUT PROPER UNDERSTANDING AND LOVE CAN MAKE EASIER, SO SIT TOGETHER AND
DISCUSS, SO YOU CAN FIND THE SOLUTION.

IF THERE IS A PROBLEM, THERE SHOULD BE A SOLUTION FOR THAT PROBLEM, AND WITH
OUT DISCUSSION YOU CAN’T FIND SOLUTION.

ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA) PROTECT US FROM ALL BAD DEEDS AND MAKE US
OUR FAMILY LOVEABLE AND LET US FOLLOW THE SUNNATH OF OUR BELOVED SO WE
CAN BE JUDGED PROPERLY ON THE AQIRATH…..YAH ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA)
ACCEPT OUR DUA THROUGH THE LOVE OF YOUR BELOVED AND FORGIVE OUR ALL
SIN’S…..AMEEN..SUM AMEEN….

AND MAY ALLAH'S (SUBHANAHU WA TA’ALA) BLESSINGS AND PEACE BE UPON OUR
BELOVED PROPHET MUHAMMAD (SALLALLAHU ‘ALAYHI WA SALLAM), HIS FAMILY AND
ALL HIS COMPANIONS AND HIS FOLLOWERS, AND PRAISE BE TO ALLAH (SUBHANAHU WA
TA’ALA), LORD OF THE UNIVERSE

KHAIRUL RABUL ALAMEEN

BADSHAH KHAN

(MRS. BADSHAH KHAN)