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#423 APRIL 27–MAY 10, 2011
PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Brandon Matheson
ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER & EDITORIAL DIRECTOR
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422 FREE
LETTERS
April 13, 2011 — April 26, 2011
fabmagazine.com
@fabmagazine.com
Not bowled over to IGBO-2011. Approximately nights and many more, Out and
I read your story about gay Toronto sports 600 bowlers from around the Out has an option for everyone
teams [“Playing for the Other Teams,” fab world are expected to attend Playing for the at outandout.on.ca.
#422, April 13] and noticed that our gay for competition and social other teams Another important resource
Gay sports teams want you!
bowling league was not covered. activities. If you have an to discover Toronto’s LGBT
The Toronto Historical Bowling Society established bowling average, sports scene is OutSport
has been around for 28 years and is the there is still time to register for IGBO-2011. Toronto at outsporttoronto.org.
largest league in North America. We bowl Further information can be obtained from — DelightfulDavid
three days a week and have between 300 igbo2011.org. For year-round bowling
and 400 bowlers from all walks of life. schedules: thbs.ca or igbo.org.
You might want to check out our web- — Colin J Rainsbury, Come out
site: thbs.ca. public relations for IGBO-2011 Re: “Palm Springs: The Gay Oasis” on
— Stephen Park, THBS president fabmagazine.com.
Wow. I can’t wait to get to California.
Come out — kurtpuzzle
Gutter opportunities Re: “Playing for the Other Teams” on
To add to your theme that “gay sports teams fabmagazine.com. Oops: In “Playing for the Other Teams” [fab
want you” in “Playing for the Other Teams” Out and Out is also a great option for #422, April 13] Downtown Soccer Toronto
[fab #422, April 13], we would be grateful those looking for a variety of activities (downtownsoccertoronto.org) was misidenti-
if you could draw your readers’ attention without making an ongoing commitment. fied. We hope this apology suffices and they
to the International Gay Bowling And it’s the oldest of Toronto’s LGBT sports won’t kick our balls.
Organization (IGBO) activities. and recreational groups. It’s surprising that
The Toronto Historical Bowling Society you missed it.
(THBA) is in its 28th year, and Toronto was Many members join for the hikes or to
YOUR OPINIONS
one of the original six founding cities of partake in the big summer event, Jamboree.
MATTER TO US!
Send your raves, rants and comments
IGBO in 1980. From Wednesday, May 25 With activities including inline skating, hula-
to: letters@fabmagazine.com
to Monday, May 30, Toronto will play host hooping, hiking, ball hockey, board game
EDITORIAL
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staging The view from SED
in 5
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with all Radio City... Day
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T
he response to fab’s anonymous 2011 Gay Sex Survey can chriskowal@rogers.com
only be described as epic. More than 2,500 guys took the URBAN REALTY
BROKERAGE, INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED
(office) 416-461-9900 • (direct) 416-666-4410
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time to fill out the survey online or via hard copies that
were sent to our office, some bravely including a name and return
address. A few even sent us pictures or suggested we add an
upload feature on our next survey for even more explicit details.
We more than doubled the numbers of US national gay magazine
OUT’s sex survey, and we clocked almost three times the responses
we’ve received in previous years. Clearly, gay guys want to talk
about sex — but I worry that our numbers would be smaller if A Summer that will last a Lifetime Alberta
respondents had to give their full names. July 28–31
Reading through the results elicits feelings of shock, titillation Join us this summer for fun, friendship, and amazing Saskatchewan
and the occasional “Oh my God — I did that too!” Every time we workshops at Camp fYrefly, Canada’s only national August 18-21
put out our inquiry, we’re impressed by people’s honest, raw leadership retreat for sexual minority and gender variant
responses. There’s something for everyone to identify with: from youth. Please visit our website to apply or to learn how to
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anonymous responses do not a two-way dialogue make.
www.fyrefly.ualberta.ca
Some gay men need to push their comfort levels when it comes
to talking openly (and in person) about their bedroom antics,
while others need to make that crucial first step. This year, for
the first time, we put a link to the survey on squirt.org; a surpris-
ing 45 percent of respondents identified as being closeted or
married to a woman. This survey allows those guys to share freely General and
Cosmetic Dentistry
about their sexuality and learn about gay sex in a safe forum that
we hope will break down a few closet doors. The rest of us must
lead by example: by communicating everything — and I mean
everything — out in the open we can help put to rest any linger-
ing connection of sex with shame.
People feel ashamed about discussing their sex lives for different
reasons. Some are afraid of being labelled slutty — but having lots
Dr.Martin Sterling
of safe, sane, consensual sex should be a badge of honour. Anyone Dr.Stephen Forgacs
who thinks otherwise is likely jealous. As long as you wrap your
cock there’s no reason why you can’t share it with whomever you
and Associates
choose. And the details make for stimulating conversation.
For those afraid that your sexual behaviours are atypical, take
solace: if you can think of a sexual act, sometime over the history
of human sexuality it’s already been done. While some friends
may balk at descriptions of hot fisting and piss-play sessions,
those who indulge in them certainly aren’t alone in their inclina-
tions — and our survey proves it.
You’ll never find sexual camaraderie or get any constructive
tips unless you open your lips about what happens at your hips.
You’d be surprised what people admit to when they feel safe,
and if you can’t feel safe with your friends, that really is a shame.
Let’s take this conversation off the page and into the street, boys Early Morning and Evening Appointments
— we’ve clearly got some hot stories we’re dying to tell.
2 Bloor Street West, Suite 1904 416.923.8042
Matt Thomas
editor@fabmagazine.com
dirty talk
AND Filthy
PHOTOS BY
daVid haWe
ILLUSTRATIONS
FiGures
BY Jordi
santo
hiGh-ranGe highest. • it’s cool when you can have a • Married in a relationship she thinks is
FreQuencies conversation and not only like them physically
but be turned on by their mind, too. • the more
monogamous. • single and looking for a
connection. • i’m tired of kissing frogs and toads.
31% of respondents have sex weekly,
of a slut i feel like, the better. • love the raw, • i’m trying hard to be monogamous.
followed by biweekly at 25%. A lucky
dirty, animalistic feelings of hot sex.
12% get it daily and only 7% say they’re
not getting any. Most who commented
wanted more, and a few did brag. toys
not-so-bindinG For boys
When he brings home his paycheque.
• never with my partner — maybe once
attachMents The Fleshlight is the most
Almost half of respondents are single, and desired sex toy purchase,
a month with someone else. • try to have sex
those who are attached have varied defini- according to 24%
% of respondents.
every day, and i do have days with sex twice a day.
tions of what a relationship entails. Many The dildo dominated as the toy respon-
• Annually. • twice a night on the nights we are
of the attached respondents claim to be dents most used, coming in at 39%. %.
together. • sex about twice a week and jerking
monogamous but admit they play on the Sounding rods were the least desired sex
off every day. • looking to hand in virgin card.
side — this is particularly true of toy — 20% of respondents said
the surprisingly large they’d never use one.
number of married-to-
is it hot in here? women men. Wearing i’m on my third colt
More than half — 52% — believe that white and skipping Waterproof silver rod
sexual heat is the most important part of a down the aisle does not vibrator (available at Priape).
relationship. 34% prefer companionship guarantee fidelity. i wore the first one out then
and 14% believe in romance. Many had dropped the second one and
other suggestions. it’s monogamous, it broke. • i don’t own any of
with the those because i live with my
respect. • cock and ass; nothing else understanding that if family and it’s not easy to
matters. • romance and sexual heat are something happens with hide them. • seriously, is
fine, but you do have to be able to stand to be someone else, it happens: as “would you never use?” a
around each other. • companionship sustains me, long as it’s just sex. • single, necessary option? i think every gay
but i always need to relieve the pressure in my balls. searching and kind of slutty. man encounters these at least
• companionship with my partner, but outside of my • Monogamous, but we also once in his lifetime, even those
relationship it would be sexual heat. • if love comes screw around together with other prissy twinks who don’t know any
along, the heat can be turned down a little. • if this guys at the bathhouse. • We call it better. • toys are for those with
weren’t a sex survey, i would rate companionship monogamy with a little leeway. little imagination or drive.
Middle Eastern
barnyard animal noises while he fucked me.
First Nation
• A straight 6’6” volleyball player asked me to treat East Indian
him like a baby with diapers, bottle, feeding, bib,
Nordic
Italian
Slavic
Black
Greek
baby powder, Vaseline and a soother. He actually
Asian
Latin
had a giant change table in his bedroom. We did
this baby scene and then he wet his diaper and
ejaculated in it. • Have sex with a boy and his
All are horny. • Hispanic, Arabic or African American: they all seem to know that an ass is for
mother. • Was asked to take two brothers and their
fucking. • If I wasn’t taken, I’d like to try them all! • Ethnicity is so far down on the list, by the
father at the same time. • To worship someone’s
time it gets to this point, someone is already in or out. • Is an Aussie considered ethnic?
car before getting to suck them off. • Once a guy
I knew got me to spend the whole day walking
round on all fours pretending to be his pet cat. I did
enjoy being his little pussy. • Once I was asked to
use popcorn butter topping as a lube because he • He wanted me to spank him with his skateboard. Get rimmed by a dog when I was a
liked the way it tasted. • Put peanut butter and Hard. I obliged. • Perform oral sex on my teenager, and fuck yes, I liked it. • Put a
marshmallow on my cock. • Let someone smell partner while he was playing Bach on the bicycle-pump hose in a guy’s ass and pumped it.
my ass through a peephole at Home Depot. I was piano. • Put a cellphone in my ass on vibrate. Did I enjoy it? He liked it, but it was difficult for me,
16 and got scared and ran. • Get married and be • Fuck my ass while yelling my mother’s name. keeping up the “This is hot” act. I kept wanting to
monogamous. • Talk about my feelings. • Dress in • Take a hamster anally. • My friend asked me laugh. • Fuck a guy’s brother while he watched.
school uniform and say, ‘Daddy no, Daddy stop’ to suck and fuck his dog. I did not, and needless Nope. • Stuck a hairbrush up my arse: fabulous!
and cry while he fucked me. • Sandpaper a guy’s to say he is no longer my friend. • Weirdest thing I’ve done was stroke and suck
cock. • Slide a custard pie inside a guy’s ass. on a horse cock. I saw it out in the field and OMG
• Shove a rubber ducky up my arse then shit it out. When it comes to weird requests becoming it was incredible — I had to have it.
• To get dressed up like a clown and fuck some actions, many of the same scatological,
dude’s boyfriend. incestuous and barnyard themes are appar-
ent — with varying degrees of enjoyment.
Where the
boys are
Most respondents preferred picking up at
bars or nightclubs, at a bathhouse or from
an internet sex site. The top three bars for
successful pick-ups were Woody’s,
The Barn and the Black Eagle. Steamworks
was by far the most popular bathhouse
destination, while squirt.org received more
than half the votes for the online sex
website of choice. To the one respondent
who got laid using Twitter, we say, “Way
to be resourceful” and #gaysexwinning.
FaVourite
Parts
39% of respondents think cocks are the
most attractive thing about naked men,
followed by chests at 25% and asses at
14%. Many respondents had more specific
examples: abs, back and areas with body
hair, such as armpits and treasure trails.
a big cock
18% me closed-fisted and give me a black eye. i
haven’t done it yet. • Have sex with all seven of
a hot body my brothers at the same time. • setting up an
island sex resort, but that probably won’t happen
since i have no money.
Many respondents said
“chemistry”; several made 11%
their choices but added that Get to knoW
a big cock never hurts.
24% 3% your Fantasy
Where is passion on this list? 3% FiGures
• change positions. stop the 72% of respondents have had sex with a man
monotony. • intimacy implies being adventurous who identified as straight, 35% with a teacher,
and every kink you can agree on. • Having a guy that 19% with a relative, 27% with a delivery boy
can handle my cock. • depends — sometimes hot, quick, anonymous sex is good, and other times — and 25% got more than an exam from their
slow sex is good. • A great money shot. doctor. 21% have had a firefighter and 26%
have worked out and then worked it with
personal trainers. Pornstars are the most
coveted and 22% have managed to turn that
fantasy into reality.
actiVe
enJoyMent i love the fab writer selection best.
• Just about my whole high school
Oral sex (giving, receiving and mutual) is (oral only), so about 450 guys over a three-year
the most frequently enjoyed sexual activity period, some more than once. • is there a fab
for more than 90% of all respondents, fol- writer available for sex? i’m hot just thinking
lowed by handjobs (giving and receiving) about it. • checking a guy’s cv takes away too
at almost 89%. Being rimmed comes in at much precious play time, skip. • A younger ted
78% and cuddling sits at 77%. Anal sex kennedy. • Barack obama, for sure!
(bottom) ranks next at 70%, with 68% eager
to on top (there is a similar split in gang-
banging, with 42% enjoying being banged
and only 39% being bangers — the opposite star
of the numbers required for this event). like being rimmed, but if my partner gets off attractions
Only 4% of respondents enjoy scat play, doing it, i’ll do it. • What about consenting The pornstars respondents most
and it ranked the highest in the “don’t physical actions like punching, slapping, spitting, wanted to have sex with were
enjoy” category. Respondents would rather etc? • love naked wrestling, with lube or oil, on the Peter Twins (20%) and Brent
be fisted, flogged, sounded, spanked or Pvc bed sheets. • cFnM • Whatever happened to Corrigan (20%), followed by
receive cock and ball torture than perform plain old regular vanilla sex? • Face fucking. lots Girth Brooks (7%) and Diesel
any of these activities on another. of guys like oral sex but don’t much care for a Washington (7%). Our apol-
Bondage and gangbangs arouse the most man to grab them by the ears and fuck them ogies for not including Brent
curiosity in respondents followed by orally. not sure why they don’t like it, but hey — Everett, the most popular
electro-stim, sounding, watersports, splosh- to each his own. • Just treat me like a whore so write-in candidate.
ing and bondage. Respondents asked for a i can empty my balls. • love to be degraded and
“not interested” option and for clarification humiliated in private or public. Brent Everett (right)
on some terms, while also suggesting a few would be my choice. Brent
that could be added. corrigan — that sap has blood on
“
pleaser, so i will try anything once. i don’t
mind testing my limits. • kink isn’t essential to
my sex life. that is not to say it’s a negative thing,
either in my sex life of the lives of others. it just
doesn’t always do it for me and can easily feel
WHEN
forced. • When there’s good chemistry, the only THERE’S
limit is imagination.
Good
soMe enchanted
cheMistry,
eVeninG, THE ONLY
you Will Meet LIMIT IS
a stranGer iMaGination
When perusing online profiles, a full-body
shot is considered the best lure by 31% of
respondents. Less than 1% were charmed
by romantic text. A spread-ass shot was
considered a turnoff by 49%. 62% have
agreed to meet a potential sex partner
without seeing a photo first. Close to half
of those had positive experiences; the other
half were not as lucky.
He was fugly. • Armageddon! • He was i think it’s the entire package. if i see with some meat on it. Many compared asses
20 years older than his profile said. something interesting, doesn’t matter to fruits, especially apples and peaches.
• Horrible. He was ugly white trash. • Alfred what, then i’ll do an up and down of the entire
Hitchcock is alive and well and living in toronto. package. • First: nice face. second: nice body. tight, small, attentive and ready for
• i actually don’t know. i am about to find out for third: nice ass. Fourth: not too camp. • lunch punishment. • toned and dusted with a lot
the first time this weekend. Yay me! i hope he box. • teeth and feet to see if he’s wearing of strawberry-blond hair, the kind that is invisible
isn’t Quasimodo. • He wasn’t too bad. We went sandals. • sophistication. sometimes and other times catches the afternoon
out for four years. • i needed a place to crash for light streaming through a window and glints and
the night and was desperate. it was okay in the When it comes to what respondents think glows. • this is where you should have an upload
end. • one out of six was a keeper. • i had no other men notice about them, build was first, photo feature so i could show you. it is luscious,
expectations, so i wasn’t disappointed. • You win followed closely by eyes, smile and a shapely plump but shapely, smooth but with some lovely
some, lose most. As a joke, i was sent to the hotel ass. Many respondents had no idea what it light hair, receptive and lovely all round. • Who
room of a straight man. not funny. • Hot most of is about them that other guys check out. cares? do tops even have asses?
the time; rarely a bad egg. • Most were good but
confident demeanour. • if i’m naked,
a few awkward ones. the best people don’t put
my schlong. • confidence and my
face pics up.
cock, as i normally whip it out straight away. rackinG uP the
• My long tongue. belt notches
look at hiM, 14% of respondents have had sex with
between 20 and 30 men in their life, and
look at Me best ass 11% sleep with one man in an average year.
A majority of respondents said they notice Many respondents mentioned a variation on Only .4% manage to sleep with 365-plus
a man’s build first when cruising him in the “bubble butt” and then garnished it with men per year — they’ll eventually catch
the street. Others wished we’d included varying degrees of hair coverage. For a major- up with the 1% who have had sex with
the option of someone’s face, in general. ity of respondents, the best ass is firm but more than 5,000 men so far.
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fab April 27, 2011 17
bareback stats toP to bottoM
20% of respondents have never had bare- Only 26% of respondents identify as tops or versatile tops, leaving them way out-
back sex, but 35% have gone without numbered by bottoms — and giving the versatile majority (64%) lots of choice when
protection a few times. Almost as many, they’re in top mode.
30%, have barebacked many times and 6%
do it always. However, the comments were a versatile bottom
almost all from respondents who were
concerned about the danger and felt con- a versatile top
flicted about their actions.
23.4% a bottom
26.7%
With a long term BF; still bad, i know,
a top
but we were monogamous and tested.
• i say “never” only because i’ve never had what versatile
i call full sex (start to finish) without a condom.
A few guys have maybe minimally poked around
not all of us have anal
back there before suiting up, which, i’m aware, is
sex and we still have hot
enough to transmit anything, but i haven’t ever 11.1% sex lives. • it would be nice to
had full-out, consensual, unprotected sex before.
experience the “other side” as a
• i know it’s risky but have done it with guys i’ve 15.2% top every once in a while. • i would
trusted, although this shouldn’t be relied on.
rather not top. it’s too much work.
• once i was made aware of the risk for sexually
• i fantasize about being a bottom, but
transmitted diseases and Aids, i was all, “You
23.5% i’m still learning to take it. • i’m sick of
can’t rock this boat without a raincoat” and “no
being categorized based on one aspect of
glove, no love.”
my sexual identity.
37% of respondents will have bareback sex
when in a committed relationship — but
considering respondents’ disinclination
for monogamy, perhaps this should be
rethought. 12% will never have bareback was gay, died of Aids because of unprotected
sex, but 11% will in any situation. sex, and my dad didn’t want me to die before
him. And then he said, “no dad should ever bury
Every single encounter is dealt with at his own son.”
the time. My assumption is that every
person i play with can transmit a communicable
disease to me through activities. • i am not proud creatiVe
of my bareback experiences; they were all in
moments of weakness. • Until i am in a
Places For seX
committed relationship and my partner and i both
Pitcher’s mound at riverdale Park at
know that we are not positive. And with frequent
3pm on a weekday. i was pitching, for
— and i mean frequent — testing. Wandering
the record. • A kid’s plastic playhouse. • in a
eyes don’t just take place in a public restroom or
casket at a funeral parlour. • in a Buddhist
in a locker room, honey. • Forget it, look what
temple. • in a nuclear bunker. • on the ferry to
happened.
toronto island. • in the same room as my parents
29% of respondents have had an STD. 53% while they were sleeping. • Beside the temple of
of respondents who have had an STD or an the olympian Zeus in Athens. • Halfway up a cliff
STD scare have altered their sexual behav- while rock climbing. definitely one of the most
iour because of it. exciting times, as well. • st Peter and Paul
cathedral. • dumpster. • in the bed of a pickup
i became aware that just because truck while someone was driving down the
someone is younger or clean-cut does freeway. • on a guy’s boyfriend’s grave in a
not mean they don’t have scaries lurking in their cemetery. • Mcdonald’s play place. • the irish
trousers. • Until Aids, nothing changed my Parliament, with a security guard. • if i’m having
behaviour. • Made me paranoid for life; 20 years sex some place, it’s anything but strange. • on a
later i still go to the doctor for every pimple, bump safari trip in Africa, in a Jeep at 2am, fucking my
or freckle, even if i’ve been celibate. • i’m an guide in the middle of nowhere. i’m sure there
Hiv-neg guy, and once i had to take post- were some elephants and lions watching. • in a
exposure prophylaxis, which sucked. i still love hot air balloon with a fuckbuddy. We were the last
bareback sex with my committed partner and two to go up, and as soon as it started climbing
totally fantasize about it with other dudes i sleep we stripped our shoes, jeans and undies off and
with (even verbally), but i’m committed to using sucked and fucked. When we were at the highest
condoms now. • My dad told me my uncle, who point we pissed all over each other.
“Atypical” masturbatory inspirations The fab gay sex survey 2011 was so full of exciting information that it couldn’t possibly
included several instances of straight be contained in one issue of fab. There is much, much more at fabmagazine.com. Find
porn, lesbian porn and, inexplicably, out how gay men feel about paying for sex and how much they have been paid (or have
Stephen Harper. paid); how it felt the first and the most recent time they ejaculated; what advice they
have for other gay men; what advice they have for the next survey; and how they feel
seeing the imprint of a friend’s foot in about being filmed and being watched on film...
his old sandals. • dogs having sex.
• someone eating their own feces. • looking in The fab sex survey results team learned a lot and are now in need of cold showers.
A
s we are about to leave As I make my way down to
the seventh annual Jessica the bathroom, I discover that
Massive Party at the Art and Billy are the halls of Woody’s are
class acts @
Gallery of Ontario, I discover swimming with men who
Massive Party
the “real” party. The first floor seem to have forgotten their
is filled with glamorous cultural Ryan and Greg shirts… and their pants.
consumers, art aficionados and are too fine and Slotted right before the weekly
a live performance by Mz Chawls fabulous for Marchesa Best Ass Contest, the Downtown
& The Wonderfuls, which is indeed words @ Massive Luisa Casati Swim Club is hosting its annual
wonderful. The second floor’s Hazel Party is simply fundraiser, The Pool Party. Men
cute photo booth, created by art finds a meaty marvellous @ in tight-fitting Speedo-ish gear are
duo Camilla Singh and Walter hero in Massive Party doing full runway walks and
Dolphin Boy @
Willems, causes wannabe The carnival rages into town Brazilian Ball clowning around while drag queen
models to line up for a chance @ Brazilian Ball Lulu helps them show off their goods
to have their photo taken under- Foxy guys — the swimsuits. To raise cash, as
in feathers
neath a fake shark. On a hunch, we follow the well as a few eyebrows, they are auc-
flock together
living installation, a woman portraying Marchesa @ Brazilian tioning off the suits, but the auction and
Luisa Casati (the celebrated Italian arts patron Ball auctioneer Phillip Coupal hit a snag. Few are
of the early 20th century), who, with her won- Danny and bidding. They start at 10 dollars. They
derfully costumed entourage (complete with Sammy get sell two. To the same guy. There are
large leopard puppets, no less), leads us up to in some snake two possible reasons for this. One: they
the third floor. Behold, this is where everyone wrestling need professional (hotter) models to
— like Jie Matar and fashion designer Kendra @ Massive move the merchandise. Two: they
Francis — has retreated. An indulgent attitude Party need better (hotter) merchandise. But
overwhelms the ballroom as loud business it’s not who wins or loses, it’s who
types boast about “buying” hot “babes” Rodney, Favio gets to sniff a pair of used trunks.
and Arilda are
drinks at the open bar while looped feeling the heat @
ladies in jewels rub up against what Brazilian Ball As we make our entrance into the
Albert and
they hope are gay gays. A rub is a rub. opulent dining room in the Convention
Lula don’t
I got a massive. drag down the Centre for the 45th Annual Brazilian Ball, we
team @ The realize we are in for a decadent night.
As we head up to the dancefloor, a Curtis Pool Party Huge four-foot gilt centrepieces rise high
commotion takes place at the door. and Matak above each table and walls draped in
It’s Lydia Sanz, the headline DJ for ride the Matt and regal red fabric are adorned with 18-foot
night out Eran is looking to do some
tonight’s spectacle at fly. I’ve never Bryce are feeding golden statues. The night kicks off with a
@ fly laps with the boys or just lei
their love of art @
heard of this tattooed beauty from them @ The Pool Party pulse-popping performance by dancers flown
Fire and Ice are both cool Massive Party
Barcelona, but Matinée group’s in from Brazil. Ken Shaw’s booming voice
and hot @ Brazilian Ball
Circuit Festival (which Sanz is welcomes the VIPs, who include Ivan de Souza
part of) has quite the reputation. and the Brazilian ambassador to
Circuit is an international gay and Danny, Canada, Piragibe dos Santos. During a
lesbian party festival that takes place in Miles, Matt and succulent dinner, the much-anticipated
Barcelona each year (this year from Tuesday, Angelo get ready auction takes place. Bidding starts at
to lube up the Dave, Matan
August 4 to Sunday, August 14). Each year $10,000; by the end of the night, more
dancefloor and Jose are
the event is promoted with pre-parties in @ fly than $2 million has been raised for the
ready for some
almost 20 major cities around the world. mouth-to- Royal Ontario Museum. The samba
Tonight is fly’s turn. Sanz doesn’t speak much mouth @ The parade, complete with massive cos-
English, but she manages to tell me, “I really Pool Party tumes and scantily clad dancers, winds
wanna get the boys pumping.” I really wanna through the dining room to end the
see that too — so off to the dancefloor night. Watching former Ontario pre-
I head, hoping to assist in the pump- mier Mike Harris roam through a sea of
ing of the boys. Regular fly guys like buxom women and little 90-year-old
Nicholas Silveri, Neel Rafi and Mathieu Robert Mississauga Mayor Hazel McCallion
Chantelois, however, do not seem to and Tyler dance with a buff man dressed as a
are fit and David
need my assistance to enjoy Sanz’s fine @ fly brought his half-naked Poseidon makes me smile
set. My hands go unused. big pink — and a wee bit jealous.
beach bucket
@ The Pool deepdish@fabmagazine.com
Gaelen and Pascal
Gairy, Gary and Mathieu Party
are all smiles @ fly Speedos for sale, hopefully still warm
are up to no good @ fly
@ The Pool Party
20 April 27, 2011 fab fab April 27, 2011 21
Know
more.
What is the Lambda study?
Lambda was a survey of 2,438 gay and bisexual men
in Toronto and Ottawa. The purpose of the study was to
collect information from men in these cities about their
sexual and other behaviours, including condom use
and HIV status. This community report presents some
of the key study findings.
The community report and full technical report of the Lambda findings are available at:
www.lambdasurvey.ca
Life is a
old chum
So far she’s hosted shows by Richard Ryder, I told her it would never work. Well, what
Carla Collins, Lea DeLaria and Sharron do I know?
Matthews. It’s a great room for music, Cassella is taking a year off from produc-
comedy — even light operetta. ing her queer comedy fest, We’re Funny
The pub side is run by the venerable That Way, so she can concentrate on making
Mackenzie, the brains behind Slack Alice, the Flying Beaver Pubaret a huge success.
The Looking Glass and Big Momma’s Boy. She mentions upcoming shows featuring
On the night I was there, a Taborah Johnson and Shawn
lively crowd belted back pints Hitchins and is considering
in the pub while a totally other acts. One such show might
unhinged lesbian birthday be Viva Cabaret, starring Yura
party tore up the cabaret. The Ruzhyev.
venue has already made its I went to a press preview of
mark; a suspected gas leak that Yura’s classy show held at the
shut down the whole street and Gladstone Hotel a few weeks
brought out a Hazmat unit back. He transforms from Ella
turned out to be some ancient Fitzgerald to Marlene Dietrich to
garbage that had been moved Liza to Cher all in the blink of
he Flying Beaver is the name of out back. I love, also, that they an eye, his quick costume
an airplane, apparently. It’s also copied the interior of a nearby changes and choreography caus-
Yura as Liza.
the name of a new hotspot at 488 Starbucks. “Hey, Starbucks ing him to work up quite a glow.
Parliament St that hosts shows pays designers so much money to do their I saw Yura perform at Grapefruit at fly
on Fridays and Saturdays, does space. Why on earth should we reinvent recently, a fun evening despite the presence
a brunch and T-dance on Sundays and the wheel?” says Cassella. of more security than at an airport during
hosts karaoke on Thursdays. It covers all This isn’t the first time Cassella has run a terrorist alert. The crowd adored Yura’s
the gay bases and is not to be confused a bar, having done it 20 years ago in Madonna impersonation, as did I. Yet Yura
with The Beaver on Queen West. This beav Connecticut. But it’s a chance for her to doesn’t consider himself a drag queen, since
is run by dyke enfants terribles Heather take a break from doing standup and from he does Elvis Presley, Charlie Chaplin and
Mackenzie and Maggie Cassella. “We see pitching ideas to unresponsive Canadian James Brown impersonations as well.
it as a destination and as a television executives. “I was The Viva Cabaret show is reminiscent
neighbourhood bar for the treated better at Showtime in of the movie Cabaret, which is no coinci-
Cabbagetown queer commu- the States than at TVtropolis,” dence. “Liza is my favourite,” Yura says.
nity,” says Cassella. she laments. Cassella and I Darling, Liza is everyone’s favourite. But I
The Flying Beaver is also a pitched a couple of show ideas enjoy the fact that he dares to do Edith Piaf
pubaret, a made-up word that years ago and got CBC devel- and Shirley Bassey as well. Yura is present-
Cassella has already trade- opment money for a project ing his full two-hour show at the Gladstone
marked. That means it’s a pub called Up Late (set in a caba- on the first Wednesday of May and June
on one side and a cabaret on the ret, no less), but it was her and is doing a Pride show at Buddies on
other. The cabaret space is very reality show idea, in which Thursday, June 29.
nice, with a stage in front of fatsos lose weight, that might So if I learned anything, it’s that Yura
huge windows that open out to Maggie Cassella have clicked. “I just thought can rock and beavers can fly.
the street, ideal for window picks the talent at it was too mean,” she com-
the Flying Beaver.
shows. Cassella books the room. ments. That, plus the fact that paul@fabmagazine.com
Leighton-Anthony Miller
FAT brainchild
Vanja Vasic.
EXHIBIT #1: An incredible group of students The 70 members of the group are less like
at Scarborough’s Wexford Collegiate School TV’s Glee club cast and more like their on-
for the Arts. The Wexford Glee (Yes, glee screen rivals, the Warblers. They exist in a
clubs exist in real life as well as on TV) very positive environment (Wexford is
recently won the Show Choir Canadian basically a musical theatre school), where
Nationals. Their 15-minute performance glee club members are cool and celebrated.
started with an explosive mashup of “Lady Ann Merriam, the artistic director, boasts:
Marmalade” mixed with “There Is Nothin’ “[We have] every kind of kid you can imagine.
Like a Dame” from the musical South Black, white, poor, rich, gay, straight, tall,
Wexford Glee is gleeful after their triumph.
Pacific. “True Colours” and a medley of short. That’s what makes the Wexford gleeks
Rent songs sealed the deal, and now these so special. What they all have in common is
theatrical superstars are champions. a sense of community, heart and talent. There where we are free to do what we love to do,”
“We try to stay original and avoid songs are no divas; it’s about the team.” Mahjoori says proudly. “We have a great
previously performed on Glee,” Kabir These are kids who at any other school gay-straight alliance and a no-tolerance
Mahjoori explains. “We love to do our wouldn’t have a chance to shine as bright. policy for discrimination of any kind. No
musical theatre ballads. “ “We are in a completely safe environment slushies in the face here.”
EXHIBIT #2: Hunx and His Punx comprises group pop and loose, noisy garage rock.
an extremely gay Californian garage rocker Bogart’s careless attitude and effort-
and his all-girl band, the Punkettes. lessly greasy style is very sexy. We talked
String-bean lead singer Seth Bogart is on the phone from his touring van; in the
the ridiculously raunchy Hunx. His self- middle of our conversation he
confidence allows him to wear mesh needed a snack, so our call continued in
underwear onstage, showcasing what he a Quickie Mart.
refers to as a less-than-glamorous package. Though the overtly queer Hunx show
“Shannon, one of the Punkettes, looked over is something most crowds drool over,
at me onstage the other night and said my Seth Bogart is a hunk. Bogart says some US crowds don’t get it.
dick looked disgusting,” Bogart laughs. “She And that turns him on. “I kind of prefer
said it was all curved up and white. And They quickly decided the deliciously sleazy it when the crowd doesn’t like us because
they started playing a song without me.” Bogart himself should front the band. it turns me into a raging alcoholic and
Bogart and his ex-boyfriend had been They’ve been touring non-stop ever since, comedian,” he says.
writing songs tailored for a “teen girl group.” delivering their crunchy mix of ’60s girl- What kinds of men do Hunx and His
Punx love to see in the audience? Their
ideal is a beefy boy with a “hairy chest,
I asked beyond-sexy host/DJ Miss Margot to share her big hands and shitty jail tattoos.”
favourite songs to bump uglies to at her various parties:
Goth Drag: “Sex Dwarf” by Soft Cell Hunx and His Punx play Wed, April 27
Big Primpin’: “Ignition” by R Kelly at the Horseshoe Tavern, 370 Queen
Eurovision: “Just a Little” by Liberty X and “Paris (Vocal Edit)” by Friendly Fires St W. Look for a review and photos on
Moose Knuckle Disco – “You” by Steed Lord fabmagazine.com.
To get sexy, check the Gay Agenda at fabmagazine.com for info on Miss Margot’s events. tunes@fabmagazine.com
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• To change the folio, unlock the folio layer, open up the fly-out menu of the Pages palette and select “Override All Master Page Items”.
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