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and if water can be used as the main supply of power, there is potentially an
unlimited amount of resources.
When it comes to concerns over the fragile state of our planet and
solving our world’s growing energy needs, the use of fuel cells may be one Comment: Here, I try to use “loaded
words” to generate support. I want the
of the answers. Imagine if we could completely move away from fossil fuels reader to feel like our planet is in big
trouble.
such as gas and oil? We would no longer have to be digging deep into planet,
running the risk of accidents. We would no longer need to worry about the
cost of gasoline to run our cars and trucks. And the reduction of carbon
dioxide from the conversion of fossil fuels would ease the pressure on
Global Warming, too. There are those opponents of fuel cell technology who Comment: I acknowledge that some
people oppose my idea.
say that the cost to develop the technology on a scale large enough to make
change is too high. Other people raise concerns about durability of fuel cells
over a long period of time, and also, they worry about how to store the
conversion units, which can be quite large. They are short-sighted in their
opposition, however. These are all problems that can be addressed over time, Comment: I dismiss the opponents
In order for that change to happen, however, the fuel cell industry will
continue to need the support of governments around the world. While former Comment: Here, I begin to lay out
ways that my idea can happen. This is
United States President George Bush enacted the Hydrogen Fuel Cell part of the “action” idea
Initiative in 2003 in order to support more research, the technology has been
slow to grow. For the most part, it will be the continued financial investment
by governments into research around alternative energies that will change
the world for the better. Universities and research facilities need the support
of the people and the elected officials if they are to lead the way into the
future. It may take some time and it will surely take some patience, but fuel
cells, along with solar and wind and other alternative energy resources,
require the support of all of us. We also need to keep putting pressure on car
companies to implement more efficient vehicles on the road, and fuel cells
might be one way to do that. Finally, schools need to do a better job of
educating young people in the fields of science and technology so that a new
generation of smart, innovative pioneers can lead the way forward for all of
us.
It’s hard to say what the world will look like in 20 or 30 years. The
pace of change is fast, and it seems to be accelerating. But we know that we
need to solving our energy issues or else we risk an uncertain future in the
world. And the energy problems we face are directly related to our Comment: As I summarize, I want to
stress that the problems of energy and the
environmental problems around climate change. If we can find a way to environment are growing. I want to instill
some “fear” in the reader.
solve both problems, we should do it. I believe that fuel cell technology,
with its efficiency and clean output of energy, deserves substantial
investment for ongoing and future research. The technology of fuel cells has Comment: I revisit my thesis statement
from the opening paragraph as I wrap up
the potential to completely change the way we view our use of energy. If we the essay.
lose this chance to invest in the future in a meaningful way, we are not only
letting down ourselves and the next generations of children. We are letting
Comment: Again, I use “loaded words”
down the entire planet. Let’s give fuel cell technology a chance. to put fear into the reader, in order to
push them into action.
Comment: You want to leave the
reader with a final thought.