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MEBC MENS NIGHT

5.5.2011 ✤ 3 MODELS OF MASCULINITY


“The Art of Manliness”

NOTES:

Genesis 1:26-28 1. Hard Man (pagan, fierce, unbridled, aggressive, merciless)


26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And
let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the
heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every
creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

27 So God created man in his own image,


in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them. 2. The Soft Man (modern, passive, reluctant, self-indulgent)

28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply
and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea
and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves
on the earth.”

✤MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQUAL BUT DIFFERENT 3. The Christian Man

We are BIOLOGICALLY different Genesis 2:15


We are NEUROLOGICALLY different 15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work
We are EMOTIONALLY different it and keep it.
We are PRACTICALLY different
We are RELATIONALLY different
Suggestions For A Devotional Time Meditative Reading
Take one small passage like Psalm 23:1, Romans 8:1, Philippians 2:5-11,
Rapid Reading Colossians 3:1-4, John 6:27, or some other passage that you've come
Attempt to read 2-4 chapters in a small amount of time. Don't skim and across lately in your reading, and pore over the passage. Read it several
don't rush. But set a good pace, think through each sentence, and absorb times; to yourself and aloud. Read slowly, pausing over each word,
several chapters within 10-15 minutes. thinking deeply about it. As you read, emphasize a different word each
time through. Ask why that word was used rather than another. Think how
Suggestions: the text would be different if a certain word were left out. Then answer
Reading Plans by Crossway: these questions about the text:
www.gnpcb.org/esv/devotions/ • What is the basic truth of this text?
• What can I adore God for this?
Once you have read, write down few things that stuck out to you, and turn
• What sins occur when I forget the truth of this text? What do I
them into prayers of worship, praise, confession, or thanksgiving. Here are
hope in/rely on/trust more than Jesus that causes this sin?
some questions you may want to ask:
• How is Jesus the ultimate fulfiller of this text or answer to this sin?
• What does this text tell me about God that I can praise Him for? • What do I need from God to realize this truth in my life?
• What does this text tell me about myself that I can confess? • Why is God showing me this truth today?
• How does Jesus ultimately fulfill this text and answer this sin? • What would my life look like if this truth became explosively true
• What does God want me to ask of Him based on this text? in my inner being?

Thank Him that you are saved through the grace of Christ, not through
your performance, therefore you can believe/obey/embrace the truth of Thank Him that you are saved through the grace of Christ, not your
this text. performance, therefore you can believe/obey/embrace the truth of this
text. Then turn these truths into prayer back to God. Adore Him, confess
to Him, thank Him, and ask Him for grace to make these truths real in
your life.
Suggested Resources Parenting
• Shepherding A Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp
The Spiritual Life • Instructing A Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp
• A Praying Life by Paul Miller • Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp
• Desiring God by John Piper
• Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller Masculinity
• The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis • The Masculine Mandate by Richard Phillips
• The Pursuit of God by AW Tozer • The Silence of Adam by Larry Crabb
• When People Are Big And God Is Small by Ed Welch • The Map by David Murrow
• Humility by CJ Mahaney • The Art of Manliness by Bret McKay
• The Contrarians Guide To Spirituality by Larry Osborne
Leadership
Apologetics • Derailed by Tim Irwin
• Mere Christianity by CS Lewis • Leading With A Limp by Dan Allender
• The Reason for God by Tim Keller • Launching A Leadership Revolution by Chris Brady & Orrin Woodward
• Business For The Glory of God by Wayne Grudem
Theology
• Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem Fiction
• The Pleasures of God by John Piper • The Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis
• Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by Wayne Grudem • The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien
• The Prodigal God by Tim Keller • The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien

Marriage Overcoming Sexual Sin


• When Sinners Say I Do by Dave Harvey • Closing The Window by Tim Chester
• Intimate Allies by Tremper Longman and Dan Allender • Crazy Good Sex by Les Parrot
• Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas • Detox E-Book: www.challies.com/christian-living/sexual-detox-the-e-
• What Did You Expect by Paul D. Tripp book
• Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God by CJ Mahaney • Sex and the Supremacy of Christ by Justin Taylor
The Gospel Versus Religion THE GOSPEL: When I am criticized I struggle, but it is not critical for
me to think of myself as a ‘good person.’ My identity is not built on my
At MEBC we want to consistently push back against religion by record or my performance but on God’s love for me in Christ. I can take
proclaiming and upholding the Gospel. Biblically speaking, religion is criticism.
rarely used in a positive way (see James 1:27). Some of the most graphic
language in Scripture is used, not to describe evil, but to describe moral RELIGION: My prayer life consists largely of petition and it only heats
uprightness that lacks any real love for God or people (see Amos, up when I am in a time of need. My main purpose in prayer is control of
Matthew 23). Religion is basically self-salvation. We attempt to make the environment.
ourselves worthy before God and others through moral effort (right living)
and performance (prayer, church attendance, giving.). The Gospel is THE GOSPEL: My prayer life consists of generous stretches of praise
something entirely different. Here is how you might compare the two. and adoration. My main purpose is fellowship with Him.

RELIGION: I obey-therefore I’m accepted. RELIGION: My self-view swings between two poles. If and when I am
living up to my standards, I feel confident, but then I am prone to be proud
THE GOSPEL: I’m accepted-therefore I obey. and unsympathetic to failing people. If and when I am not living up to
standards, I feel insecure and inadequate. I’m not confident. I feel like a
RELIGION: Motivation is based on fear and insecurity. failure.

THE GOSPEL: Motivation is based on grateful joy. THE GOSPEL: My self-view is not based on a view of my self as a
moral achiever. In Christ I am “simul iustus et peccator”—simultaneously
RELIGION: I obey God in order to get things from God. sinful and yet accepted in Christ. I am so bad he had to die for me and I
am so loved he was glad to die for me. This leads me to deeper and deeper
THE GOSPEL: I obey God to get to God-to delight and resemble Him. humility and confidence at the same time. Neither swaggering nor
sniveling.
RELIGION: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I am angry at God
or my self, since I believe, like Job’s friends that anyone who is good RELIGION: My identity and self-worth are based mainly on how hard I
deserves a comfortable life. work. Or how moral I am, and so I must look down on those I perceive as
lazy or immoral. I disdain and feel superior to ‘the other.’
THE GOSPEL: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I struggle but I
know all my punishment fell on Jesus and that while he may allow this for THE GOSPEL: My identity and self-worth are centered on the one who
my training, he will exercise his Fatherly love within my trial. died for His enemies, who was excluded from the city for me. I am saved
by sheer grace. So I can’t look down on those who believe or practice
RELIGION: When I am criticized I am furious or devastated because it is something different from me. Only by grace I am what I am. I’ve no inner
critical that I think of myself as a ‘good person’. Threats to that self-image need to win arguments.
must be destroyed at all costs.
RELIGION: Since I look to my own pedigree or performance for my • Who or what do you desire the most? Or, what desire makes you most
spiritual acceptability, my heart manufactures idols. It may be my talents, angry or makes you despair when it is not satisfied?
my moral record, my personal discipline, my social status, etc. I
• Who or what do you most delight in, your greatest joy and treasure?
absolutely have to have them so they serve as my main hope, meaning,
happiness, security, and significance, whatever I may say I believe about • Who or what captures your greatest zeal?
God. • To whom or for what are you most thankful?
• For whom or what great purpose do you work?
THE GOSPEL: I have many good things in my life—family, work, • What are you most afraid of?
spiritual disciplines, etc. But none of these good things are ultimate things
• What do you long for most passionately
to me. None of them are things I absolutely have to have, so there is a
limit to how much anxiety, bitterness, and despondency they can inflict on • Where do you run for comfort? Anger?
me when they are threatened and lost. • What do you complain about most?
(Taken from Tim Keller: Preaching To The Heart, Ockenga Preaching • What angers you most?
Series, 2006) • What makes you happiest?
• How do you define yourself to people?
• What has caused you to be angry with God?
Discovering Idols
All of us value something. We all have something in our lives that, if • What do you brag about?
attained, controlled, or received, will contribute to our overall worth and • What one thing do you want the most
identity. The problem is that nothing, except Jesus, can truly satisfy us and • What do you sacrifice for? (sacrifice = worship)
provide the kind of security and hope we long for. But because we are • If you change one thing in your life, what would it be?
sinners, our hearts set their affections and desires on other things, other
• Who’s approval are you seeking? Is it anyone other than Jesus?
gods or idols. Here are some questions to reflect on to help you discover
the idols in your life. • What do you want to control or master?
• What comfort do you treasure the most?
• What do you most highly value? • What do I worry about most?
• What do you think about by default? • What, if I failed or lost it, would cause me to feel that I did not even
• What is your highest goal? want to live?
• To what or whom are you most committed? • What do I use to comfort myself when things go bad or get difficult?
• Who or what do you love the most? • What do I do to cope? What are my release valves? What do I do to feel
• Who or what do you trust or depend upon the most? better?
• Who or what do you fear the most? • What preoccupies me? What do I daydream about?
• Who or what do you hope in and hope for most? • What makes me feel the most self-worth? Of what am I the proudest?
For what do I want to be known?
• What do I lead with in conversations? Exercise:
• Early on what do I want to make sure that people know about me? Now take one or two of these idols and spend some time in prayer with
• What prayer, unanswered, would make me seriously think about turning God. Confess to him how you place your hope and joy in this idol, rather
than in Him. Think of how Jesus can be all and more than this idol could
away from God?
ever be! Look at the Cross. Think of all that God has done for you there.
• What do I really want and expect out of life? What would really make Picture Jesus hanging there all alone, beaten, bleeding, for you. Reflect on
me happy? the fact that it took that to save you. But rejoice that He wanted to go
• What is my hope for the future? through that to save you! Meditate on Romans 8:31-39. Rejoice that God
has given you His Son, freely justified you, and will never take His love
from you.
Circle some of the things that were revealed to you in these questions:
security, comfort, success, control, power, relief, wealth, approval, 31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be
acceptance, hatred, lust, greed, possessions, job, spouse, kids, hobbies, against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us
friends, religious performance, sex, ambition, accolades, politics, all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who
father, mother, self-image, freedom, race, talent, skill. shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies.
34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that,
Uprooting and Replacing Idols who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is
Now that you’ve identified some of the idols in your life you must do interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall
something with them. The only way to deal with your idols is to uproot tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or
them through confession and repentance, and replace them through danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,
worshipping and rejoicing in, Jesus. Tim Keller says, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
“Idolatry is not just a failure to obey God, it is a setting of the whole heart 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who
on something besides God. This cannot be remedied only by repenting that loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor
you have an idol, or using willpower to try to live differently. Turning from rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height
idols is not less than those two things, but it is also far more. “Setting the nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us
mind and heart on things above” where “your life is hid with Christ in from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
God” (Colossians 3:1-3) means appreciating, rejoicing, and resting in
what Jesus has done for you. It entails joyful worship, a sense of God’s Resolve to see Christ as your success, comfort, hope, security, peace,
reality in prayer. Jesus must become more beautiful to your imagination, wealth, and treasure. Find ways to worship Him throughout the day. Aim
more attractive to your heart, than your idol. That is what will replace to glorify and honor Him in all you do.
your counterfeit gods. If you uproot the idol and fail to “plant” the love of
Christ in its place, the idol will grow back.” (Counterfeit Gods)
Battling Pornography • Don’t watch late-night television—put a timer on your TV for 10:30pm
• Cancel catalogs with lingerie and swimwear sections
Tim Chester offers up five key ingredients that must be present and in • Avoid shops or locations that create temptation
place for someone to win the battle with pornography. • Refuse to participate when colleagues exchange crude jokes or comment
on the physical appearance of women
1. An abhorrence of porn. You have to hate porn itself (not just the shame
it brings), and long for change. None of these is a high price to pay—not when eternal glory is at stake.
Job said, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young
2. You must adore God. Why? Because we can be confident that He offers woman” (Job 31:1).
more than porn.
(taken from Tim Chester’s Closing the Window)
3. You must be assured of God's grace. You are loved by God and are
right with God through faith in the work of Jesus.

4. You must avoid temptation. Be committed to do all you in your power


to avoid temptation, starting with the controls on your computer.

5. You must be accountable to others. You need a community of


Christians who are holding you accountable and supporting you in your
struggle.

Here are some strategies to avoid sexually provocative images:

• Install an Internet filter, such as covenanteyes or x3watch


• Give up your movie rental card or let your wife have it
• Let your friend check your hard drive or mobile
• Set an appropriate verse or a picture of your family by your screen as a
reminder of what matters
• Manage without internet access
• Put internet access in a public spot in the house
• Never have a television or computer in the bedroom
• If your spouse is routinely out one evening of the week, find an activity
you can do regularly on that night
• Have diversion strategies in place—read a good book, watch sports or a
movie when you’re feeling tempted
• Go to bed at the same time as other people in the house

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