INTRICATE

CIRCLES
S O U L O F A W O M A N
MAY 13, 2011

INSIDE THIS ISSUE:

re-defining ourselves
SISTERS OF 1 It’s hard to believe it has been 2 family, reachable and inspir- you again! We hope you
SOAW
years since I sent out the last ing mentors to myself, their stick around to learn, share,
MIND BODY & 2
SOUL Soul of a Woman Newsletter. I children and young women. experience the beauty of life
hope you missed SOAW as as a woman of color. A
ENDURANCE 3 I am blessed to be surrounded
much as I missed you! Provid- woman full of promise, his-
by great women, so it took me
THE LIVING 4 ing you with useful information tory and defiance not to ever
ROOM no time at all to think of the
and the tools to succeed in life settle for less!
women who would stand be-
SHATTERED 4 is the purpose that SOAW ex-
GLASS side me. With a great team We hope you enjoy the new
ists.
and refined approach; SOAW look and additional sections!
FINANCIALLY 6
FABULOUS
So I took some much needed was transformed. As always, we love to hear
time to rethink the goals and from you about ideas to
In addition to a great new
MS. SASSY’S 6 messaging for SOAW. After make us better or if you
CORNER team of women, SOAW has
speaking to women from all want to contribute your tal-
been re-focused to speak to
walks of life, I realized the mes- ents!
TIME FOR ME
7 the entire woman including
sage needed to be refocused
her health, spirituality, humor, May your month be inspiring
and refined.
and honor women who took and you continue to inspire!
My first step was to bring in life by storm and are making
Stephanie, Editor-in-Chief
women that exemplified the great leaps in their careers
women that read SOAW. and community.
Women who were experts in
It feels great to be back and
their field, the backbone of their
I’m positive we aren’t leaving

sisters of soaw
You are as strong as the women you keep
around you. I am blessed to have women who
keep me spiritually grounded, motivated to
achieve my craziest dreams including this
newsletter and focused on my purpose in life.
I am proud to share with my SOAW family the
women who keep me grounded.
Tiffanie Ellis-Niles, Esq. has been a Sister of
SOAW since it’s inception and my best friend
for over 20 years. Tiffanie’s Financially Fabu-
lous corner, covers matters affecting our finan-
cial health from repairing your credit, saving a
dollar or investing in your future. You name it
and she has great advice to offer. When Tiffa-
nie is not writing for SOAW, she is practicing
law at her law firm, Lyles and Niles where she
specializes in bankruptcy law .When not prac-
ticing law, Tiffanie is enjoying time with her
husband and two sons.
 SOUL OF A WOMAN Page 2

sisters of soaw cont.

(cont. from page 1)
Nishawnda Ellis , RN, BSN, E
MSN is a walking inspiration
for women young and old.
Nishawnda has been a regis-
tered nurse for over 11
years, specializing in mater-
nal newborn health. She is a
Best-Selling Author of Wives
and Girlfriends, Keep Secrets
Telling Lies and Mr. High
Maintenance. Nishawnda
also freelance writes
for Hubpages.com under the
name Nicole Jordan. She is
also the proud mother to her
daughter Naomi.
Nishawnda’s invaluable con-
tribution will keep us healthy
while shattering glass ceil-
ings in our careers.
Stacy Dixon is an ordained
minister that gives all her
praises and blessings to the
Father above. Stacy knows
that by putting God first
everything else in your life
will flow as it should. In
addition to keeping her
sisters grounded in God,
she is a devoted wife and
mother.
Keisha Anderson is affec-
tionately known as Ms.
Sassy. Whether it’s rela-
tionship advice or giving
you a much needed
reminder that you are impor-
tant, Ms. Sassy’s advice will
put your situation into per-
spective. In addition to be-
ing the backbone to her sis-
ters, Ms. Sassy is a loving
wife and mother of two boys.
Ms. Sassy will bless us each
month with her opinions and
make us laugh and cry.
I can’t thank these ladies
enough for their contribution to
SOAW and helping make my
dream a reality.

mind, body and soul Nishawnda Ellis, RN, BSN, E MSN, Contributing Editor

Is your Birth Control Making you ill? IUD

Knowing the risks and side effects of birth control is a discus- IUD can cause infection and
sion that rarely happens in your primary care doctor’s office. more seriously infertility due to
You may see commercials advertising the newest contracep- untreated pelvic inflammatory
tive offering less blotting, less headaches, less mood swings disease. Signs and symptoms
and shorter periods, and then at the very end you will hear a that your IUD is infected include
run off of the risks and side effects if you take it. Similar to abdominal pain, fever, abnormal
the small print at the bottom of an ad, a disclaimer that the vaginal discharge and heavy
busy consumer never reads. Just because the product is FDA bleeding (not during menstrua-
approved, does not mean it’s safe to take. Women have to tion). The pain will be so bad
make informed decisions about their method of contracep- that you can’t ignore it. 3-5% of
tion but how can they when no one is talking to them about women with IUDs will suffer
the facts. Search no more, here they are: from pelvic infection. Keep this in mind when you experience
these symptoms and you blow it off as menstrual cramps,
Oral Contraceptives (OCP) bad seafood or the flu. Seek medical advice and make sure
OCP side effects include headache, nausea, vomiting, mood you inform the doctor you have an IUD.
swings and weight gain. More severe side affects are blood
clots, heart attack and stroke. If you are a smoker and have
a history of heart disease these risks become even higher. NuvaRing
Smoking and birth control are never a good combination due
The NuvaRing is just that, new. Read the fine print and do
to the levels of progestin (female hormone) in birth control
research to see how this product is measuring up with your
pills and the narrowing blood vessels caused by nicotine. other options. Limited studies on its side effects and latent
Studies show that 16 per 100,000 women on OCP suffer effects don’t mean it’s an unsafe product, it just means the
from blood clots and unknown heart disease complications, company couldn’t find enough subjects to sign up for the
leading to death. Serious symptoms include chest pain, study.
shortness of breath, difficulty breathing, and fainting. Chest
pain is a tell tale sign that something is wrong. If you are Watch for:
under 50, chest pain is abnormal and could be a number of
Sharp chest pain, coughing blood, or sudden shortness of
causes. But if you are under 50, have no serious health his-
breath (possible clot in the lung)
tory and on OCPs, go to the ER. Your oxygen saturation and
lung sounds should be checked. And if warranted, the doctor
Pain in the calf (back of lower leg; possible clot in the leg)
will order an ultrasound of your legs to check for blood clots.
Untreated blood clots loosen and cause a pulmonary embo-
Crushing chest pain or heaviness in the chest (possible
lism (blood clot in your lungs). If not acted upon and treated heart attack)
timely, will cause death.

Mind Body and Soul cont.

Sudden severe headache or vomiting, dizziness or
fainting, problems with vision or speech, weakness, or
numbness in an arm or leg (possible stroke)

Sudden partial or complete loss of vision (possible clot in
Urgent, frequent, burning and/or painful urination, and
the eye)

Yellowing of the skin or whites of the eyes (jaundice),
especially with fever, tiredness, loss of appetite, dark-colored
urine, or light-colored bowel movements (possible liver
problems)

Severe pain, swelling, or tenderness in the abdomen
(gallbladder or liver problems)
Page 3
disease)

Irregular vaginal bleeding or spotting that happens in
more than 1 menstrual cycle or lasts for more than a few
days
cannot locate the ring in the vagina (rarely, accidental
placement of NuvaRing® into the urinary bladder)

Swelling (edema) of your fingers or ankles
Difficulty in sleeping, weakness, lack of energy, fatigue, or a
change in mood (possible severe depression)
Again if you experience these side effects and symptoms it’s
worth checking out. Seek medical advice immediately.

Sudden fever (usually 102°F or more), vomiting, diarrhea,
dizziness, fainting, or a sunburn-like rash on the face or body
(very rarely, toxic shock syndrome)

Breast lumps (possible breast cancer or benign breast
In order to make better choices for your health, you
must have all the facts. Do your research. The information is
at your finger tips nowadays with the internet. Your health is
to important not to read the small print.
Until next time, stay healthy ladies.

endurance Stephanie, Editor-in-Chief

Recently I was asked how I was doing. As typically my re- plishments because I was taught somewhere along the line
sponse was “I’m surviving.” But for some reason as the that you don’t highlight yourself, you let others do it. I
words flowed from my mouth something about it didn’t sit thought it would come off as conceited if I spoke of all that I
right. I had been saying I’m sur- had done. So I didn’t. I didn’t celebrate my accomplishments
viving for years but something but I did highlight my failures and that’s why I was just surviv-
about it didn’t ring true to me. ing. When in fact I was living without boundaries.
Something about simply surviv-
ing made me question myself I have created a life for my children that I dreamed of as a
as to why I was just surviving. child. I have the career I worked hard for and a law degree I
Isn’t it just as bad as saying I’m said I would obtain when I wasn’t even old enough to under-
existing when we should be liv- stand what practicing law truly meant, forget obtaining it af-
ing? I take great pride in being a renaissance woman but ter having 4 children!
what renaissance woman is just surviving!
Call me conceited but I prefer determined! I am determined
After days of questioning my response and its meaning, I re- not to let statistics dictate my life. I am determined to have
alized I was just surviving because that is what I had limited the shortest bucket list possible because if I dreamed it I
myself to; just surviving. Despite the strides I had made in achieved it. I am determined to have a life I dreamed of on
my career, the obstacles I had overcome and the many hours my terms! I am dreaming the impossible and living the
I had spent mentoring women to achieve their dreams, I dream!
failed to apply the rules of the game to myself. Like most I challenge you to dream the impossible dream and live that
women I could definitely see the strength and promise in dream. Your destiny has been pre-set but the ride to get
other women and inspire to push forward but motivating my- there is limitless. Anything is possible!
self was a challenge.

It was time for me to finally recognize myself all that I have

accomplished without feeling shameful for acknowledging
myself. I realized that I wasn’t acknowledging my accom-
 SOUL OF A WOMAN Page 4

the living room Stacy Dixon, Contributing Editor

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above tionally as well as mentally. Spiritual guidance is helpful in
rubies” Proverbs 31:10 times of transition, loneliness, loss or disillusionment.
Sometimes as mothers, But, we must go straight to the source. Think for one second.
wives, daughters, aunts When your car is not working properly, do you go to a baker
and sisters, it becomes for assistance? When you’re not feeling your best physically,
difficult to identify our do you go to your banker? In order to identify what is going
wealth. In today’s on with us spiritually, we must go to the One who created,
world it is becoming designed and blessed us to be women. We have all come
more and more evident with instructions and guidance has been provided for us as
to me as mothers, well. However, it is up to us to receive the correct information
wives and as business so that we can make informed decisions not only about our
women that spiritual lives but also about the lives that have been entrusted to us.
guidance is essential.
So Beloved, why not ask for what we are lacking from the
This guidance I find in
God’s Word. It provides One who can provide it?
healing, balance, cor- My prayer for all that is reading this newsletter is to receive
rection, instruction and and understand God’s grace so that you are made whole. But
deliverance. before I could give it, I had to also receive it – I am learning
When I first got married, I thought I had it all figured out. I that you cannot give something you do not possess.
thought it was my job to take on certain responsibilities in our Dear Father,
household. Boy was I wrong. As I matured in God’s Word, I
learnt that I was performing outside of my role as a wife, Hallowed be Your name, Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done
in and around our lives as we seek to be virtuous women and
mother and as a woman.
be made whole in You. Help us to balance our schedules and
As God brought me to my knees, He showed me that in order to become masters of our time so that it brings You glory.
to be whole I must understand the role He created me for
and start there. He also provided direction that assisted me Isaiah 50:4 says The Lord GOD hath given me the tongue of
in becoming more attuned to and aware of His presence in the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in sea-
my life. You may also be seeking answers to the purpose of son to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning,
your life or for answers or ways to fill a void. You may need he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned.
learned Please give us
spiritual guidance to reflect deeply on your experiences as Your words of wisdom, Your compassion and love so that we
you walk in your daily life. You may also need another per- will know how to comfort the weary and those who need to
spective about something that has happened in the past. I know Your grace. Morning by morning awaken us and open
am learning not to live life in rewind. It is my belief that God our understanding to Your will. Guide me to share it through
this letter. And for those who are reading this prayer, grant
is the pivotal key in moving forward.
unto them the riches of Your glory and provide the under-
So who is this virtual woman? I believe that woman is you standing needed to help us see that we need You above all.
and I. She is the woman who provides love, support and Thank You for the opportunity to commune with You and help
nourishment to others. She is the faith-centered light in her others grow in their faith in You. What we are not, make us.
family circle. However, she is waiting just under the surface What we know not, teach us and what we have not, please
for many of us. How do we bring her alive? It will be by re- give us for Your glory!
ceiving spiritual guidance and identifying your role as a
woman. It is helpful at all times as we learn to balance emo- In Jesus’ name – Amen

shattered glass

but shatter the ceiling altogether. Shattered glass will honor

Women find strength even in the darkest hours to fight for
what they believe is right and just. In the past several centu-
ries we have been able to not only punch holes in glass ceil-
ings
women who didn’t allow their gender, marital status or
choice to bear children from achieving their career goals.
These women exemplify what our ancestors envisioned when
they marched and fought hard for equal rights regardless of
gender.
Stephanie Soriano-Mills by day is a criminal attorney at Den-
ner Pellegrino, Counselors at Large but at all times is a wife,
 Page 5

shattered glass cont.

mother of 4 and community activ- have to live in a ethical, true to myself way and true to
ist, recently taking on the role of God. If I do that only good things will come. If you stay on
as Legal Redress Chairwoman for the path you believe in you will do well.
the NAACP, Boston Branch.
As a mother, wife and attorney, your schedule can be
Stephanie is fresh off the cam-
very demanding. How do you balance it all?
paign trail for her husband, Cor-
In a very organized way. I always believed that my kids
nell’s run for City Council in the
thrive on organization and they thrive on habit. I make
Special Election for the 7th Dis-
sure our days are pretty much consistent. Everyday they
trict of Boston. I had a chance to
are going to wake up and see the same thing. They get
catch up with this busy sister to
up, eat breakfast go to school, come home from school.
find out exactly what motivates
With the understanding that I may have to work late or
her and makes her a true SOAW
go to a meeting when they rather I’d be home. I really try
sister. to explain to them, mommy has worked all day, just like
If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would it be you went to school all day. I wanted to be there but there
and why? are certain things going on that mommy has to be part
of. And even when I really want to be there I’m here every
Fearless. I stand behind a set of beliefs that will survive scru- night. They think that I’m more than important . I keep
tiny. A person should establish beliefs and standards they them 100% involved in what I do, so they know.
believe in 100% and stand by them.
How did you decide your career path? How do you find time for you?
I do a horrible job finding a time for me. I need to do bet-
Funny. I was going to be a Psychologist. In 1998 I was at- ter. I don't remember the last time I took a spa day or
tending Merrimack College and my daughter was entering vacation but I have little babies.
pre-school. I found a young mother’s program that would pay
for her childcare if I had a job in a particular area. I left Psy- I prioritize myself based on my stress level. You can't op-
chology and took a job at a law office in Andover. Soon I erate on a level where you're stressed. Always recognize
realized, I can do this so I said I’m going to be a lawyer. at some point, it’s alright to put yourself first.

Do you consider yourself a role model?

What advice would you give other women seeking to follow in Yes. Definitely, everyday.
your footpath?
They have to have determination. Law school is just a If you had to do it all over again what would you do differ-
pivotal career for anyone who wants to live a certain life. ently?
Go to college, don’t focus on one particular area, do psy- Nothing.
chology, sociology, or business because of those areawill
help you later on. Parting words:
Life’s short. Play hard!
The most important thing that someone told me a long
time ago and I live by is that reputation means every-
thing. Always remember no matter what you do or who
you’re around or how you represent yourself your reputa-
tion means everything. Figure out who you want to be
and stick with that. To me that means being a person
who is loyal, being a person who is credible, being a per-
son who is ethical. If you continue with those values you
will never go wrong.

Someone told me that you never know who is going to be

sitting behind that door. But i live my life even bigger
than that. i went Catholic school my entire life and raised
a Catholic. Your character isn't about what people think
it's about what you do when no one's looking. I live my
life that way. Even when no one is looking I know God is
looking. The higher power is watching how I live and so I
 SOUL OF A WOMAN Page 6

financially fabulous Tiffanie Ellis-Niles, Esq. Contributing

Being Intentional About Your It’s time to get sexy with your finances! To start, set the mood
with candles burning and a nice glass of wine. Create a finan-
Finances! cial workspace at home and start recording all of your
It takes a lot of intention and monthly bills in one place, be it in a journal, an excel spread
commitment to stay on top of sheet or online using mint.com (a free budgeting web site
your financial game, however it that tracks an graphs your spending, income, balances and
is not impossible. We have to net worth). I suggest doing this twice a month.
make the decision to keep our
To be really intentional about your finances, sign-up for on-
finances in order today! Finan-
line banking and put your monthly bills on automatic pay-
cial institutions have made it
ment. This way once you have determined what you abso-
extremely easy for us to stay on
lutely must pay each and every month, you can start making
top of our finances with today’s gadgets. From online bank-
those payments automatic, thereby lessoning the chance of
ing, to mobile banking, it has become increasingly easy to
pay just about anything automatically. Gone are the excuses miscalculating and overspending.
of not having a check book on you or forgetting when a pay- Also to help keep you on track, consider setting up an ac-
ment is due. With today’s technology we can just about calen- count from which you ONLY make monthly bill payments,
dar anything. Putting your finances on autopilot has become such as gas, cable, electric, student loans. If possible have
the new way to not only pay your bills on time each month money deposited into this account weekly or bi-monthly for
but also a means to paying yourself first, with no excuses. those automatic payments only and consider opening up a
separate what I have termed “ME” account, which you can
To get started on becoming “Financially Fabulous” right now,
use to treat yourself to something special every now and
I want you to start by setting priorities and being intentional
with your follow-up. Stop paying bills in the dark and start then.
taking a serious look at what you have to pay each month Once you have determined what you have to pay each and
and how much you are going to bring home to pay it. It every month without fail, start tracking the unexpected and
sounds so simple but many of us do not literally know what often unnecessary purchases we tend to make daily by liter-
we pay each month, we simple pay bills when they come due ally writing down every purchase you make for the next 30
and although that is better than doing nothing, it is so impor- days to get a good idea of ways to eliminate unnecessary
tant to create a spread sheet of what your monthly expenses spending.
are, so that you know up front whether or not you can afford
to splurge on that weekend get-a-way or those fancy shoes. Good Luck!
No more Monday morning “oops I’ve miscalculated” ladies.

ms. sassy’s corner Keisha Anderson, Contributing Editor

Welcome to Ms. Sassy’s corner
where we discuss any and every-
thing that is on your mind from
relationships, latest fashion, to
good ole gossip. Nothing is off
topic.
Dear Ms. Sassy,
“Every life is a story make yours a best seller!!” My husband
wants to go into to business with his long term friend who
doesn't have the cash upfront to put into the business. My
pea brain husband thinks he is going to put up all the cash,
his friend will work the business and he will sit back and col-
lect the interest. I've been shaking my head since he told me
and I don't know how to tell him without coming off as con-
trolling that this is poor decision. Its his money at the end of
the day, but I know in the end if this business goes belly up, it
will become our problem. What should I do?
Ms. Sassy: Well Ms. Lady I would suggest you do some re-
search for your husband. Look into contracts and business
plans.
Once you've gathered up enough information that makes you
feel comfortable as if you were exploring your own con-
tracts, I would make it a point to have a nice sit down with
hubby! Over a comfortable dinner or lunch discuss his busi-
ness idea being very positive and encouraging, offer ideas
and finally tell him you think it's great that he trusts his friend
and wants to go into business with him but you think it's very
important that he get a clear business plan in place and with
detailed contracts before he and his friend move forward sort
of like a pre-nuptial agreement (smiles).
Your husband will appreciate your interest and the fact that
you took the time to research for his business because at the
end of the day his business is your business as well!
As far as his long term friend he should have no problem with
having everything laid out on the line because clearly he's
genuine seeing that he's your hubs long term friend, so if ever
the business goes belly up your husband will have held his
friend accountable from the jump!
Please send your questions and/or comments to Ms. Sassy at
intricatecircles@yahoo.com
 Page 7
VOLUME 2, ISSUE 1

time for me
♦ Clear your house and watch a movie or two. Grab a pil-
low and head for the sofa. It’s just you and the TV. Grab
some popcorn while your add it...it’s your cheat day.

Upcoming events

♦ Wednesday, May 18th—President Barack Obama will be

in Boston (Cyclorama, 539 Tremont Street, Boston, MA)
3pm

♦ Wednesday, May 18th– Revolve: A Project Hip Hop Pro-

Every renaissance woman needs a day off to rejuvenate. motion (Milky Way Lounge at Bella Luna Restaurant, 284
Make it a point once a month to enjoy to simply find time for Amory Street, Jamaica Plain, MA) 6:30pm-9:00 pm
me.
♦ Thursday, May 19th– Starting a Business and Real Estate
Below are a few suggestions and local events going on this Informational (Lyles and Niles, LLP Law Office, 1191 N.
month for you to pencil in yourself. Main Street, Suite 209, Randolph, MA) 6:00pm-8:00 pm
♦ Get a pedi/manicure. Your feet have been trapped under
layers of leather (albeit fashionable leather), time to let
them breathe! Try a bold new color. Your feet with thank
you! No matter what you do remember you deserve it! Until next
month ladies...continue to be inspired and inspire!
♦ Meet your girlfriends for some good conversation and
food. Balancing all that we do leaves little time to catch
up with your girlfriends. Plan to be away at least 4 hours,
time flies when your surrounded by good company and
great food.

intricatecircles@yahoo.com

INTRICATE CIRCLES

A woman’s endurance deserves exceptional treatment.