What

 to  do  if  You  Find  Out  Someone  

is  Sexually  Abusing  a  Child  in  Your  Family  

by  Jane  Gilgun  &  Gwendolyn  Anderson  

P   arents  and  other  family  members  often  do  not  know  what  to  do  if  they  find  out  that  
someone  is  sexually  abusing  children  in  their  families.  This  fact  sheet  is  an  overview.  
For  detailed  information  go  to  the  CornerHouse  website  at  
http://www.cornerhousemn.org/resources.html  
 
The  following  describes  what  to  do.      
 
Contact  Police  or  Child  Protection  Immediately  
 
• Call  911  if  there  is  immediate  danger  to  children;  the  911  dispatcher  can  give  you  
other  valuable  information.  
• Call  the  police  if  the  suspected  perpetrator  is  not  a  family  member.  
• Call  child  protection  if  the  suspected  perpetrator  is  a  family  member.  If  you  can’t  
find  the  phone  number,  call  the  National  Child  Abuse  Hotline  at  1  800  422-­‐4453.  
You  can  also  go  to  
http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist/rl_dsp.cfm?rs_id=5&rate_chno=11-­‐
11172.  This  website  gives  the  numbers  of  the  reporting  agencies  in  every  state  in  
the  US.  
• Call  211  or  1-­‐800-­‐543-­‐7709  for  any  other  questions  you  might  have.  This  is  a  24/7  
service  of  the  United  Way.  
   
If  non-­‐offending  spouses  do  not  report  the  suspected  abuse  right  away,  they  can  be  charged  
with  failure  to  protect,  and  the  children  may  go  into  foster  care.    
 
Make  Sure  Children  are  Safe  
 
• The  suspected  perpetrator  has  to  leave  any  residence  where  the  child  is  or  where  
any  children  are.  
• If  the  suspected  perpetrator  does  not  leave,  then  the  mother  or  other  non-­‐offending  
parent  must  leave  the  residence  with  all  of  the  children.  If  you  want  to  go  to  a  
women’s  shelter,  there  is  a  shelter  locator  at  
http://mentalwellnessadvice.com/addiction-­‐treatment/locator.html  
• If  the  suspected  perpetrator  is  a  child,  find  a  relative  who  will  take  the  child  and  
who  does  not  have  other  children.  If  you  have  no  one  to  take  a  child  who  may  have  
sexually  abused  children  in  your  family,  ask  child  protection  immediately  to  find  
another  place  for  this  child  to  live.  
 
Failure  to  keep  children  safe  is  a  crime.  Non-­‐offending  family  members  may  face  criminal  
charges  if  they  fail  to  protect  children.  The  children  may  go  into  foster  care.  
 
Contact  Supportive  Persons  
 
• clergy,  especially  if  non-­‐offending  family  members  think  they  can  trust  them;    
• family  and  friends  who  are  trust-­‐worthy.    
  
Get  Legal  Advice  
 
• Get  as  much  information  on  what  to  expect  regarding  the  legal  issues;  if  you  can’t  
afford  an  attorney,  put  “legal  services”  in  a  search  engine  for  the  region  in  which  you  
live.    
• Find  out  about  what  kinds  of  legal  requirements  there  are  for  children.  An  example  
is  whether  the  children  will  be  interviewed  by  experts  in  court  testimony.  Another  is  
whether  children  must  have  a  medical  exam.  
• Ask  an  attorney  to  help  you  to  get  an  order  of  protection.  
 
Get  an  Order  of  Protection  
 
• An  order  of  protection  stops  suspected  perpetrators  from  having  any  contact  with  
non-­‐offending  family  members  and  with  children.  
• Follow  the  order  of  protection;  do  not  allow  the  suspected  perpetrator  to  have  any  
contact  with  children.  
 
Non-­‐offending  parents  can  be  charged  with  a  crime  if  they  allow  suspected  perpetrators  to  
have  contact  with  children.  The  children  may  go  into  foster  care.  
 
Get  Professional  Help  
 
• Local  sexual  assault  centers  have  lists  of  knowledgeable  professionals.  
• Call  211  for  information  about  services  for  survivors  of  child  sexual  abuse  and  their  
families.    
 
Know  Professionals  Must  Report    
 
The  law  requires  that  professionals  report  child  abuse  and  neglect  if  they  have  reason  to  
believe  that  children  are  being  harmed.    If  you  contact  clergy,  counselors,  therapists,  
teachers,  social  workers,  and  medical  professionals,  they  must  report  the  abuse.  
 
Do  Not  Handle  Sexual  Abuse  by  Yourself  
 
Many  people  do  not  report  child  sexual  abuse  or  other  kinds  of  abuse  because  they  are  
afraid  of  what  will  happen.    Failure  to  report  can  result  in  criminal  charges.  Children  may  
go  into  foster  care.    
 
Further  information  
 
Child  Welfare  Information  Gateway  Website  at  http://www.childwelfare.gov/  
CornerHouse  Website  at  http://www.cornerhousemn.org/resources.html  
National  Child  Abuse  Hotline  http://www.childhelp.org/pages/hotline  
 
About  the  Authors  
 
Jane  F.  Gilgun,  Ph.D.,  LICSW,  is  a  professor,  and  Gwendolyn  Anderson,  MSW,  is  a  PhD  student,    
School  of  Social  Work,  University  of  Minnesota,  Twin  Cities,  USA.  See  Professor  Gilgun’s  other  
articles,  books,  and  children’s  stories  on  scribd.com,  Amazon  Kindle,  and  iBooks.