The Yoruba people occupy some parts of the southwestern region of Nigeria, West-Africa (see shaded region ).

The word Yoruba, is used both in linguistic expression and to refer to an ethnic (cultural) group. 'Yoruba', as a cultural group, comprises of multi-dialectical groups. These groups, though different in the manner of slight variations in their language, and their geographical location, have common ways of life (culture). One of which is the topic of interest today . . The wedding ceremony.

For the Yoruba people, the wedding is a social affair which must entail rituals and ceremonies that meet social approval. Although, there are other activities that take place during this ocassion, such as dancing, singing, performing, and praying, food and its products play a central role in bringing all these activities together.

According to Ingrid Sturgis, "A wedding in the tradition of Yoruba begins with a spiritual reading before the wedding by a babalawo or high priest . . . Sometimes, marriages are governed by the orisha Obatala, who offers calmness, tranquility, wisdom, and tolerance to set the tone for the wedding." At a point in time, this was true. However, with the influence of western education and Christianity, the Yoruba people have moved from the belief in these gods to the belief in a supreme being (God). This has created some changes in the way the wedding is performed today.

The ceremony takes place in three parts, usually over the course of three days, within the same week, or before the month ends. The important thing however, is that it follows the same sequence. This paper will consider the different stages and what each entails.

The first part is the Introduction known as 'Idana': This is a formal meeting of both extended families. It is a time for both families to get acquainted with each other's beliefs, values, and background. During this arrangement, the grooms family must bring a bottle of wine, some cola nuts and other little food items. These items were formerly used for libations; that is offered to gods. In most cases, now, they are merely shared amongst the elders, bride and groom, and those considered to be well-wishers. During this time, each one says a prayer, or gives an admonition to the bride and groom.

After the prospective bride and groom, have decided on the date and time for their wedding, the grooms parents will make a formal approach to the bride's parents, informing them about their son's intentions. The bride's parents, are now expected to give their formal consent. This takes the form of a letter that is written by the grooms family to the brides family. A response is expected from the brides family at their next meeting, which is the Engagement.

The Engagement usually takes place the day before the wedding depending on the religion of the families involved. It is the longest session of all, and most people look forward to attending this part. At the start of the ceremony, the groom dances in with his friends, (and family members within his age group). He has to prostrate for every member of the bride's family (including the youngest ones). After this, the Alaga Iduro goes back and forth between both families, informs brides family of proposal and reasons for visit. After much (mock) deliberation, they decide to accept the guests.

A lot of prayers are said. At this time also, some items must be carried to the home of the woman and presented to the elders and other members of the family. This presentation, is usually accompanied by a lot of fanfare, which is thought to be the domain of women since they are believed to be good at such presentations.

The particular woman who handles this ceremony is referred to as 'Alaga iduro' (literally, a standing chairperson). She knows the right thing to say, the right song to sing, and the correct bargain to make. Since this is a long session, it is made interesting by the singing, dancing, eating, and thorough investigation of the items presented (each having its own significance). After the items have been presented, the bride to be, is now allowed to come out, accompanied by her female friends and the other wives in her father's family. Engagement vows and rings are exchanged, depending on the religion of the families involved (in place of a ring, it could be a bible).

Food and light refreshments are served. Program continues with a lot of music, dancing, drumming, and light entertainment. At the end of the program, the Bride, Groom, and their parents join hands as more

prayers are said. This symolizes a union, not only between the man and woman, but amongst the entire families.

Here is a list of some of the items required; 42 big tubers of yam 42big cola nuts 42 big bitter cola (orogbo) 10 spicy pepper (ata're) 2 bottles of honey (oyin igan) 1 engagement Bible (usually blue) 1 gold ring e.t.c.

Each of these items has its own significance and prayer attached to it in this ceremony. For instance, "Honey brings sweetness into the home. This taste is to help the sweetness in your marriage to continue to spread. Remember to treat each other with respect and love and to always have sweet words for one another."(Sturgis 106)

The final day is the Wedding proper 'Igbeyawo'. There are two parts to this. The church (or mosque as the case may be), and the reception, 'food galore': this is the best part for most people, and goes on till late in the evening.

At the church, hymns are sung, prayers are said, and the pastor/priest in charge of the ceremony gives an admonition to the couple, before they exchange vows. "This is significant because of the moving experience people go through that day. To the many married guests, the ceremony is a re-enactment of their past nuptials, but for the new couple it's an experience marked by the fulfillment of the hopes they had cherished for many years."(Ola Akande 19). This service is usually short, but it is made interesting by the signing of the wedding certificate, lighting of the unity candle; which symbolizes the union of both families, and the exchange of vows and rings.

After the first part, everyone moves down to the site of the reception. Usually a hall that has been arranged and decorated with balloons and flowers. A section 'high table' is prepared for the bride, groom, their parents, best-man, maid of honor, and the chair person. At the reception, there is some sort of hierarchy in the way people are seated and served. The older people get to seat in the best seats and they get served first. This is in line with the culture which places a lot of respect on the elders in the community.

For the Yoruba people, food is a very important part of their social and cultural life. Social events such as this one, without some certain types of food, cannot be well spoken of. Depending on what particular region the families are from, their social status, or the religion they belong to, there are certain types of food, people expect to be served when they are invited to such an ocassion. For instance, while speaking with Adejoke who recently got married, I was told how difficult it was to decide on what the menu would be, because she and her husband are not from the same village. Therefore guests were very diversified. Although foods that were indigenous to both villages such as pounded yam and egusi stew, Amala and ewedu stew were served, the menu also included other items such as Jollof rice, 'dodo' fried plantain, fried chicken, pepper soup, and fish stew. This satisfied the younger generation and the guests who were foreign to the Yoruba culture.

Once the bride and groom have been united at the engagement, food is served continuously until the last guest leaves after the reception. However, just like Megumi said about the Japanese New Year, the food cannot be eaten or served unless certain prayers or rituals have been undertaken.

The process of serving the food is usually very systematic. The groom's family, who are the more important guests are served first, then the elders from the bride's family. Sometimes though, this does not seem to work out as planned. A lot of power play and politics comes into it when the people who 'have connections', (members of the brides family) as they are referred to, are able to go up to the servers and be served earlier than planned.

After the reception, the bride and her family members go back

home, to prepare for her final departure to become a member of her husband's family. At this time, her parents, siblings and friends gather together to reminisce about their time together with her. A lot of tears are shed. Her parents continue to give her advice on how to live a happy married life. Later in the evening, the bride is escorted to her husband's home ( because of the patri-local residence in the Yoruba society Note: The groom is not allowed to come and pick her up under any circumstance), by the older wives Iyawo'le in her father's extended family. On getting there, she is received by the Iyawo'le in her husband's home. The occassion, is however, not complete unless her feet are washed with water before she is allowed entry into the home. This symbolizes some form of spiritual cleansing.

Though this is the way a Wedding is performed in a typical Yoruba society this is not representative of the different forms of weddings in the world at large. Here is Jon's analysis of an American Wedding, and the changes that have taken place as the society has evolved. Entering into the Yoruba wedding ceremony exhibition, the first thing you see, is a large placard above the door which reads: Yoruba Wedding Ceremony: Here and Now!. For anyone coming into the exhibition, there is a small pamphlet which details the different stages, and informs about the changes that have taken place in the way the ceremony is organized today as a result of the changes that have taken place in the culture of the yoruba people. This is just to ensure that nobody gets confused in their bid to understand the Yoruba Wedding Ceremony. There are floor maps which direct visitors through the ceremony.

The exhibition is theme based. the pictures and artifacts are merely to support the information given. In each section, there is a short video recording of a part of the ceremony, so that visitors can see what they are reading on the walls. Also, there is the background music of drums and Yoruba songs to give an individual an almost personal experience of being a part of the ceremony.

The first stage is the Introduction Hall. The placard reads: Introduction 'idana'

During the introductory phase of the wedding ceremony the bride is escorted by friends and family members. She is veiled to add a little thrill and drama to the event (To see if the groom recognizes his bride). Members of the grooms family introduce themselves to the bride.

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The engagement phase of a Yoruba wedding is very involved and detailed. Proposals are exchanged and letters are written. Placards show the process of engagement. Engagement

Below is a Sample Proposal Letter.

P.K.Onibode. 4, Lane Road,Mushin. 3rd May, 1969.

MR. Felix Abidoye, 14, Lexicon Street,

Lagos.

Sir, My son, Joseph K. Onibode, told me of his love and affection for your daughter, Comfort Funmi, Abidoye. After having courted each other for so many years, both of them have agreed to marry each other now.

In light of this, I will like to ask you as the head of your family to grant this request so that your daughter, Comfort Funmi Abidoye, can be married to my son, Joseph K. Onibode. While hoping to read a favourable reply from you very soon, I send my warm greetings to the members of your entire family. I am, Yours Faithfully, P.K.Onibode.

Bride's sister reads letter of acceptance (with the assistance of the Alaga Iduro ) to proposal from grooms family. Bride acknowledges receipt of gifts. NOTE: suitcase of clothes, Basket of fruits, and Dishes of food. Bride, groom, and their parents join hands as a representation of the union of both families, as opposed to just the bride and groom.

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The last stage, brings us to the final day, which is the Wedding Proper ' Igbeyawo'. This is usually a very bright day, and it is divided into two sections. The first is the Church Wedding and the second is the Reception.

This is the most sacred part of the ceremony. It is planned in a religious setting, a lot of prayers are said. It is not only important for the bride and groom, but for the entire congregation because it renews one's focus on commitment. CHURCH WEDDING

Bride and groom exchange vows, under the direction of the pastor, in the presence of God and men. Bride and Groom sign marriage certificate.

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RECEPTION.

Bride and Groom about to cut the wedding cake. High table adorned with satin, ribbons and flowers. NOTE: Bride and Groom sit at the center in high chairs. Guests enjoy a typical reception dish of Jollof rice, Moin-moin (bean cake) and fried chicken.

Click to enlarge. .

Below is a recipe of Jollof Rice. SAMPLE RECIPE.

Jollof Rice

* 4 cups uncooked rice * 1 medium onion, chopped * 1 small onion, sliced * 5 ripe tomatoes, chopped * 3 ripe tomatoes, sliced * 3 large red bell peppers, chopped * 1 small chile pepper or 1 teaspoon ground chile * 2 to 3 cups chicken stock * Salt, thyme and curry powder to taste * 2 tablespoons butter or vegetable oil * 1 cup dried shrimp (optional) If using dried shrimp, pulverize in blender; set aside. Combine the 5 chopped tomatoes, the bell peppers, chile pepper and medium onion and, working in batches, puree together in blender. Set aside. Bring 5 cups of water to a boil, add rice and enough chicken stock (about 2 cups) to cook rice. Add salt to taste. Cook on medium flame till rice is slightly softened (about 10 minutes).

While rice is cooking, pour tomato-pepper mixture into saucepan and add butter or vegetable oil, salt, curry powder and thyme to taste. Then add 3 sliced tomatoes, small sliced onion and dried shrimp, (if using) to sauce and cook about 6 to 10 minutes. Pour sauce into rice, mix together and simmer until rice is fully cooked, about 10 minutes. Rice should be dry and fluffy when done.

Makes 6 servings. The Yoruba Wedding. The Nubian Wedding book. NY: Three Rivers press, 1997

Tao is one.

It is the perfect harmony of the universe.

Two divides itself into heaven and earth, or yin and yang.

It manifests in men and women as subtle yin/yang energies.

Men and women complement each other, and each contains an integeral part of the other.

As students of the Integeral Truth, a man and a woman build their earthly relationship on the refinement of thier subtle energies. They cultivate together to reach a state of perfect harmony.

Therefore, their relationship remains untouched by the constant changes of earthly life.

They unite their virtue in Tao and their union is everlasting.

Their lovers' hearts transform to be rainbows, that join each other in perfect harmony.

The golden ribbon on (bridegroom's name) neck represents the sun. The silver ribbon on (the bride's name) neck represents the moon. When the great symbols of yin and yang harmonize, all beautiful creations come to earth.

In recognizing one another as husband and wife, (bridegroom's name) and (bride's name) wholeheartedly join each other to become one.

This beautiful marriage shall be fulfilled by the witness of all your friends.

I pronounce you husband and wife, and sanctify your marriage to become a perfect union in Tao.

The Shrine of the Eternal Breath of Universal Essense offers three bells to celebrate this beautiful marriage.

The three prayers of the traditional chinese wedding ceremony contained elements of Taoism.

The chinese were mainly Taoists or ancestor worshipers before foreign religions such as Christianity, Muslim or Buddhism entered ancient China.

Taoists believed in the power of heaven and earth to witness important events on earth. It was also believed that a parent or family elder must acknowledge a union for it to be official.

An official at the wedding would direct the bride and groom to pray to heaven and earth first, then to the groom parents or family elders and

lastly to bow to each other.

The official would then declared the ceremony completed successfully and asked the wedding guests to escort the couple into the bridal chamber, the equivalent of the bridal room, to consummate their marriage.

African Wedding Traditions

Africa is a large and varied continent containing some of the oldest civilizations on earth. It is home to a wide diversity of religions and cultures, and this colorful diversity is reflected in its diverse and colorful weddings traditions.

If any one wedding tradition might be said to be indicative of the African continent it would be the importance of family. An African wedding is, more than anything, the bringing together of two people as a single family, or the combining of two families or even the mixture of two tribes into one family unit. The concept of family is one of the unifying ideas of the African continent.

There are more than 1,000 cultural units in Africa and each culture, each tribe has its own wedding and marriage traditions, many of which can trace their origins back hundreds or even thousands of years.

There are also many different religions represented in Africa. Many northern Africans, especially, have been influenced by Muslim traditions, while further south there are more Christian, Hindu, and even Jewish traditions interspersed with more ancient traditions.

In many places in Africa young girls are trained to be good wives from an early age. They may even learn secret codes and secret languages that allow them to talk with other married women without their husbands understanding what is being said.

Depending on which part of Africa you are in, wedding ceremonies can be extremely elaborate, some lasting many days. Often huge ceremonies are held during which many couples are united at the same time.

In Sudan and in other areas along the Nile a man must pay his wifes family in sheep or cattle for the loss of their daughters labor in support of the family. A wife may cost a man as many as 30 to 40 head of cattle. Often it is difficult to pay the family yet still have enough cattle left to support his new wife.

In Somalia a man is allowed to have as many as four wives if he can support them all, and it is not uncommon for a girl to be engaged before she is even born.

Bright festive colors, song, dance, and music are vital elements of many African wedding ceremonies. Common to all wedding ceremonies is the concept of transitioning between childhood and adulthood. In many African cultures children are encouraged to marry as young as 13 to 15 years of age, as soon as they have reached physical adulthood.

Divorce is rare in African marriages. Problems in a marriage are often discussed with both families and solutions found. Often entire villages join in to help a couple find solutions to their problems and keep a marriage from failing.

Marriage is sacred the world over, and that is definitely true in Africa, no matter which region or which culture you come from, and no matter what your religious beliefs. In fact, many cultures have a special totem that is designed to remind a couple that cultural and tribal differences must be allowed for in order to make a marriage succeed.