FAWNICATION..EXCUSE ME!

For an occasion such as this, it is traditional that the best mans speech should las

I'm standing up here tonight representing the catergory for "Best Man". A term that is unjustly appointed to me and not deserve

Being asked to be Best Man is a bit like being asked to sleep with the Queen.it's a great honour, but something you really wo

With the honour of this role comes the responsibilty of writing this speech! And to be honest with you, I turned to the internet for

The obvious place seemed to be the internet, so with a multitude of resources at my fingertips I began searching the web. After

David was born on 8th August 1973. I tried to link this to some major world event, but it seemed that nothing else happened tha David and I first meet at playschool back in Windsor. Unfortunately David was a slow starter. At playschool David was different

David has always been a man of method and preparation, highlighted by his career within the library sevice. In fact, he is the on

David is Godfather to my children and has always been a part of their lives. When my eldest daughter, Amy, was about 3, she h

David and Sarah are both great individuals, and together they make an awesome couple. They are both caring, strong willed an

I've had the privaledge of witnessing David and Sarah's romance blossom from the very beginning.and in many ways, it has b

I remember one time, on a trip to Florida, I happened to walk past David coming out of a steam filled bathroom, with nothing mo

The great thing about David and Sarah is that they have planned far more than their wedding. they have planned their marria

David is always excellent in everything he does, be it school, friends, career, sports..even if was always the last one to be pic

And since I'm married, I think I should give you a little marital advice. One thing that Louise and I never do is go to bed angry

I haven't got long left, and as I'm not getting paid for this.I hope you found me worth every penny.I'm going to end with a sm

"The perfect groom is gentle, never harsh, cruel or mean. He has a beautiful smile and keeps himself so clean. The perfect gro

I don't want to keep you too much longer, so at thyis time I would like to mention what a great job the bridesmaids have done an

hat the best mans speech should last as long as the groom makes love! Thank you Ladies and Gentleman (sit down)

tly appointed to me and not deserved. Although David has asked me to be the Best Man, I'm not really the Best Man.just a good guy!

honour, but something you really would rather not do! As I was saying, I'm not the Best Manthe Best man here tonight is David Godleme

st with you, I turned to the internet for a bit of help!

tips I began searching the web. After a couple of hours of searching, I found some pretty good stuff! But then I remembered I was supposed

emed that nothing else happened that day.although the Upton Park Maternity Staff still refer to that day as Ugly Wednesday!

er. At playschool David was different from all the other 4 year olds..he was 11.

he library sevice. In fact, he is the only man I know that organises his pornography in the Duei decimal system!

st daughter, Amy, was about 3, she had a nickname for David.."David Dirty Hands". Funny enough, that's one of Sarah's nicknames for

They are both caring, strong willed and intelligent. And their love for one another is clearly apparent to all of us here today.

eginning.and in many ways, it has been like watching a Disney fairytale unfold. One particular classic springs to mind.Beauty and the Be

eam filled bathroom, with nothing more than a hand towel to cover his modesty.I haven't been able to watch Gorillas in the Mist since th

ng. they have planned their marriage. In fact David has already found out that a married man is one who replaces the money in his wallet w

n if was always the last one to be picked! But I'm sure he will be a wonderful groom for Sarah, even though he was the last one she picked to and I never do is go to bed angrywe usually just stay up and argue!

y penny.I'm going to end with a small poem I've written for David and Sarahno, its good.

eps himself so clean. The perfect groom likes children, and will raise them by your side. He will be a good father and husband to his bride. Th

eat job the bridesmaids have done and how beautiful they all looked (applaud)..and of course Sarah, who looks stunning! And David, who

man (sit down)

he Best Man.just a good guy!

st man here tonight is David Godlement (fake sobbing)..I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding, it's really me!

then I remembered I was supposed to be looking for some ideasfor the speech! I did find a couple of speech ideas, but unfortunately none o

y as Ugly Wednesday!

that's one of Sarah's nicknames for him now! of us here today.

springs to mind.Beauty and the Beast!. Not just because of David's frightful looks, but also because he is such a hairy man! to watch Gorillas in the Mist since that day!

who replaces the money in his wallet with a picture of his wife!

ugh he was the last one she picked too!

d father and husband to his bride. The perfect groom loves cooking, cleaning and laundry too. He will do anything in his power to show his lo

who looks stunning! And David, who just looks stunned! So, without further a do, please be upstanding and join me in a toast to the most imp

peech ideas, but unfortunately none of them were about a couple called David and sarah who lived in Winchester!

e is such a hairy man!

o anything in his power to show his love for you. The perfect groom is sweet, writting poetry to your name. He's your best friend and lover and

and join me in a toast to the most important people in this room (raise glass)......THE BAR STAFF! No, no....I'm sorry. Ladies and Gentleman

e. He's your best friend and lover and kisses away your pain. He will never make you cry or hurt you in any way. And if this poem stands to be

o....I'm sorry. Ladies and Gentleman..........DAVID and SARAH!

ny way. And if this poem stands to be true, then David......you really are gay!"