Preteens and young adults embrace rude, crude online culture

By Sharon Noguchi snoguchi@mercurynews.com Posted:08/21/2011 07:57:48 AM PDT Updated:08/22/2011 04:52:30 PM PDT More social networking Latest news about Facebook, Twitter and other online social networks. Exploring the frontiers of newfound freedom, many tweens and teens quickly embrace the raunchy, rude lingo of cyberspace, casually inging insults, obscenities and taunts that make their chat room sound like a barroom. "Foul language is just what is popular," said Rachel Carrasquillo, a junior at St. Francis High School in Mountain View. "I think half of the stuff people say on Facebook they'd never say face-to-face." But now, as kids head back to school, they may nd more adults are paying attention. Educators increasingly are joining in to challenge the crude culture of social networks, which they fear unleashes cyberbullying and sexting, heightens the social drama of puberty and teaches the wrong values. Even though Facebook aming usually originates off campus, more schools are teaching "digital citizenship," how to care for online proles, deal with bullies and speak up for what's right -- a critical skill because teens often don't take problems to adults. A recent check of Formspring, an anonymous opinion site, shows what the adults are up against. On the site, Palo Alto middle schoolers chatted about the size of classmates' body parts and who was having sex. On Facebook, one boy wrote to a girl: "go away b4 u get gang raped." How is it that kids' conversation has become so nonchalantly -- and publicly -- crude? Partly, they don't have impulse control and can type whatever pops into their minds, said Caroline Knorr

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of Common Sense Media, a nonprot offering free curricula for schools on digital literacy. And partly, they're exploring their identity. "They say, OK, I'm not like this in real life, but I can be like this on the Internet," she said.

A large part is that no adult is paying attention. Slowly, that's changing. The Santa Clara County Ofce of Education has set up an anti-bullying task force. The Silicon Valley Interschool Council, composed of high school students, hopes to launch a campaign encouraging students to counter cyberbullying. Newly signed legislation, sponsored by Nora Campos, D-San Jose, enables schools to suspend students who bully others on social networks. Among others, the Oakland Unied School District is considering a policy to specically prohibit cyberbullying. In the Santa Clara Unied School District, all sixth- through 12th-grade students attend a tech literacy course, including digital citizenship and safety. And the district is piloting elementary school curriculum. Students are taught about building their online reputation, said Kathie Kanaval, educational technology coordinator. Rachel, 16, does what every parent wishes her kid would: She deletes rude posts on her Facebook wall, bars offenders from seeing her comments and bans offensive or hyperactive Facebookers who update their status too often. And yes, her mother does monitor her Facebook page. In Brentwood, Lori Cook has blocked many of her daughter's classmates from the 13-year-old's Facebook page because of their foul language. "A lot of parents don't realize what their kids are putting out there," said Cook, who works from home and checks Facebook regularly. The risks are real. Three years ago, junior Amanda Brownell hung herself in San Jose's Del Mar High School bathroom, after receiving 3,500 harassing text messages. She was rescued but suffered severe brain damage. And two years ago, Jill Naber, a Los Gatos High School freshman, committed suicide. She was distraught after she was bullied over an embarrassing photo that students circulated online. Since then, the school launched a free counseling service and started educating students about online behavior. A video made of Jill's story is part of a training program Yahoo launched Thursday for police to teach students and parents about cybersafety. "A lot of what happens on campus," Los Gatos High Principal Markus Autrey said, "starts online the night before." Oddly, the younger the Facebookers, the more foul the language. "What I post on Facebook is 100 percent different from what I posted when I was a freshman," said Eddie Estrada, who just graduated from De La Salle High School in Concord. Now, he's updating people on his life, like his plans to start college at Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles. "It's more of a connection as Facebook should be, rather than a place to go crazy."

The question is whether kids' online talk is more outrageous than what used to be said in person. Without tangible evidence, it may be perceived as worse because there's a digital footprint, said Keith Krueger, CEO of the Washington, D.C.-based Consortium for School Networking. But the ease and anonymity of online posting seem to invite rudeness. "On Facebook, it's not like they're a real person. They're a page on a screen," said Keren Hendel, a junior at Westmont High in Campbell, who said students should learn about online citizenship beginning in kindergarten. While some schools still insist that what takes place ofine is out of their purview, Kanaval said that "when something becomes disruptive to learning, then it becomes our responsibility to deal with the issue. The whole country right now is wrestling with this." In spring 2010, a New Jersey middle school principal advised his school's parents to install parental control software, monitor their children's text messaging and remove them from social networking sites. Children "are simply not psychologically ready for the damage that one mean person online can cause," Principal Anthony Orsini wrote. He sparked a national tidal wave of reaction. But he cited his observations behind his edicts: more students showing signs of depression, missing class to see counselors and wanting to hurt themselves because they thought they were friendless. For adults, Krueger said the challenge is to help alter the online conversation and not to ban the technology. "A lot of parents say, 'If you're getting bullied, just don't go on Facebook,' " said Tzvia Cahn, a senior at Kehillah Jewish High School in Palo Alto. But it's not that easy. As the basis for social and even academic interaction, she said, "Facebook is an important part of being in high school." Contact Sharon Noguchi at 408-271-3775. HELP ON THE WEB

-- For parent and educator media and technology resources, go to www.commonsensemedia.org. -- For information on the Amanda Network, an anti-bullying campaign, go on Facebook and search for "Amanda Network." -- To nd out about Jill's Ride for Hope, a walk-run-bicycle ride in Los Gatos on Aug. 27 that will raise funds for Counseling and Support Services for Youth, go to http:// jillsrideforhope2011.eventbrite.com.