Bullying Bullying is the general term applied to a pattern of behavior whereby one person with a lot of internal anger,

resentment and aggression and lacking interpersonal skills chooses to displace their aggression onto another person, chosen for their vulnerability with respect to the bully, using tactics of constant criticism, nit-picking, exclusion, isolation, teasing etc with verbal, psychological, emotional and (especially with children) physical violence. In simple terms, it is when someone keeps on doing or saying things to have power over another person. These are some ways they bully other people: - Calling names or labeling - Saying or writing nasty or bad things about them - Leaving them out of activities - Not talking to them - Threatening them - Making them feel uncomfortable or scared - Taking or damaging their things - Hitting or kicking them - Making them do things they dont want to do. Reasons why some people bully: They see it as a way to be popular They think that they are making themselves look tough and in charge or has power over others They do it to get attention and to get things They do it to make other people afraid of them They may be jealous of the person they are bullying They are experiencing frustration. They are impaired in some way and is frustrated and resentful because the source of their difficulty has not been identified. They are being bullied. The responsible adults have repeatedly failed in their duty of care, so they slowly and reluctantly starts to exhibit aggressive behaviors because that's the only way to survive in this bullying-entrenched climate. They have no role model or they have a poor role model at home. They may be abused at home. They are being abused and expressing their anger through bullying They are being neglected at home. Bad influence from other classmates or group of fiends. Why are some young people bullied? Sometimes because they are different in some way. (diff in physical appearance, way they talk, their name, their skin color) Because they look like they wont stand up for themselves Why is bullying harmful? Bullying can make young people feel lonely, unhappy and frightened. Makes them feel unsafe and think that there must be something wrong with them. May lose confidence They may not want to go to school anymore What can you do if you are being bullied? You have a right to feel safe and secure. If you are different in some way, BE PROUD OF IT! Spend time with your friends. Bullies hardly pick on people if they are with others in a group. If someone is bullying you, you should always tell an adult you can trust.

 Even if you think you've solved the problem on your own, tell an adult anyway, in case it happens again. If you find it difficult to talk about being bullied, you might find it easier to write down what's been happening to you and give it to an adult you trust. What can you do if you see someone else being bullied? Try to stop it. If you do nothing, it means that bullying is okay with you. It's always best to treat others the way you would like to be treated. You should show the bully that you think what they're doing is stupid and mean. Help the person being bullied to tell an adult they can trust.

Are you a bully? Remember, it's best to treat others the way you would like to be treated. It seems that children bully for a variety of reasons and when dealing with child bullying it's essential to identify who is the bully at the centre of the violence - there's usually one person who's the gang leader - and the reasons for bullying which include: Studies show that people who are abused by their peers are at risk for mental health problems, such as low self-esteem, stress, depression, or anxiety. They may also think about suicide more. Bullies are at risk for problems, too. Bullying is violence, and it often leads to more violent behavior as the bully grows up. It's estimated that 1 out of 4 elementary-school bullies will have a criminal record by the time they are 30. Some teen bullies end up being rejected by their peers and lose friendships as they grow older. Bullies may also fail in school and not have the career or relationship success that other people enjoy. Bullying Survival Tips Here are some things you can do to combat psychological and verbal bullying. They're also good tips to share with a friend as a way to show your support:

Ignore the bully and walk away. It's definitely not a coward's response sometimes it can be harder than losing your temper. Bullies thrive on the reaction they get, and if you walk away or ignore hurtful emails or instant messages, you're telling the bully that you just don't care. Sooner or later the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother you. Walk tall and hold your head high. Using this type of body language sends a message that you're not vulnerable. Hold the anger. Who doesn't want to get really upset with a bully? But that's exactly the response he or she is trying to get. Bullies want to know they have control over your emotions. If you're in a situation where you have to deal with a bully and you can't walk away with poise, use humor it can throw the bully off guard. Work out your anger in another way, such as through exercise or writing it down (make sure you tear up any letters or notes you write in anger). Don't get physical. However you choose to deal with a bully, don't use physical force (like kicking, hitting, or pushing). Not only are you showing your anger, you can never be sure what the bully will do in response. You are more likely to be hurt and get in to trouble if you use violence against a bully. You can stand up for yourself in other ways, such as gaining control of the situation by walking away or by being assertive in your actions. Some adults believe that bullying is a part of growing up (even that it is character

building) and that hitting back is the only way to tackle the problem. But that's not the case. Aggressive responses tend to lead to more violence and more bullying for the victims. Practice confidence. Practice ways to respond to the bully verbally or through your behavior. Practice feeling good about yourself (even if you have to fake it at first). Take charge of your life. You can't control other people's actions, but you can stay true to yourself. Think about ways to feel your best and your strongest so that other kids may give up the teasing. Exercise is one way to feel strong and powerful. (It's a great mood lifter, too!) Learn a martial art or take a class like yoga. Another way to gain confidence is to hone your skills in something like chess, art, music, computers, or writing. Joining a class, club, or gym is a great way to make new friends and feel great about yourself. The confidence you gain will help you ignore the mean kids. Talk about it. It may help to talk to a guidance counselor, teacher, or friend anyone who can give you the support you need. Talking can be a good outlet for the fears and frustrations that can build when you're being bullied. Find your (true) friends. If you've been bullied with rumors or gossip, all of the above tips (especially ignoring and not reacting) can apply. But take it one step further to help ease feelings of hurt and isolation. Find one or two true friends and confide how the gossip has hurt your feelings. Set the record straight by telling your friends quietly and confidently what's true and not true about you. Hearing a friend say, "I know the rumor's not true. I didn't pay attention to it," can help you realize that most of the time people see gossip for what it is petty, rude, and immature.

Why Do Bullies Act That Way? Some bullies are looking for attention. They might think bullying is a way to be popular or to get what they want. Most bullies are trying to make themselves feel more important. When they pick on someone else, it can make them feel big and powerful. Some bullies come from families where everyone is angry and shouting all the time. They may think that being angry, calling names, and pushing people around is a normal way to act. Some bullies are copying what they've seen someone else do. Some have been bullied themselves. Sometimes bullies know that what they are doing or saying hurts other people. But other bullies may not really know how hurtful their actions can be. Most bullies don't understand or care about the feelings of others. Bullies often pick on someone they think they can have power over. They might pick on kids who get upset easily or who have trouble sticking up for themselves. Getting a big reaction out of someone can make bullies feel like they have the power they want. Sometimes bullies pick on someone who is smarter than they are or different from them in some way. Sometimes bullies just pick on a kid for no reason at all. Gemma told her mom that this one kid was picking on her for having red hair and freckles. She wanted to be like the other kids but she couldnt change those things about herself. Finally Gemma made friends at her local swimming pool with a girl who wished she had red hair like Gemma's. The two girls became great friends and she learned to ignore the mean girl's taunts at school. School Approaches To Bullying To many adults, bullying is viewed as an unavoidable right-of-passage through childhood. However, as educators and parents become more aware of the negative effects of bullying, they are trying to find more (pro)active approaches to reducing it's presence in schools.

Increasingly, communities are exploring school-based bullying intervention programs to help reduce bullying or eliminate it all together. There are many strategies that effectively counter bullying. In addition to providing warnings and protection to all, a good anti-bullying program implements immediate disciplinary consequences for intimidation and aggressive behavior. However, the program cannot succeed unless adults and children are aware that bullying is occurring their settings, and learn how to prevent, detect, and react to bullying. Many of the strategies found below are derived from the Colorado Anti-bullying web site at http://www.nobully.com INTERVENTIONS Once it is established that a child is a bully, it's important for parents, teachers, and members of the community to promote positive pro-social behaviors and decrease anti-social ones. Strategies For School Administration It is paramount for school administrative personnel to increase awareness of the effects of bullying and reduce it's presence in their schools. The first step is to create a bullying prevention committee. The committee should contain teachers, counselors, paraprofessionals, parents, administrators, and perhaps students. How to deal with bullying: The committee should assess the prevalence of bullying in its schools by: -Having students complete surveys -Conducting naturalistic observations (non-intrusively observing settings) -Reviewing records -etc. After the committee has gathered information about the level and types of bullying in its school, it should search for an anti-bullying program that is suited to the needs and characteristics of this particular school setting. School administration should also try increasing awareness of bullying in the local community. This approach might involve holding a conference day that involves staff, parents, local merchants, community leaders, police, and students. This instructional event could help people understand the effects of bullying, how to recognize it's presence, and how to intervene when they witness it. Students might devise realistic presentations or engage in other activities that help to promote awareness of bullying. Bullying is most likely to occur during unstructured times of the days (i.e., transitions, recess, lunch, hallway passing to next classes, etc.). Supervision of students should be increased on the playground and in the cafeteria and hallways. Having more supervision during these times will not only help to reduce bullying, but also improve intervention response time if an incident should occur. Finally, it is important to remember that parental participation is an integral part of successful anti-bullying programs. Parents should be informed of the bullying program used by the school (or under consideration). Also, inform parents about how the administration handles bullying incidents. The school administration should also encourage parents to become involved in the program (and in the school in general). Classroom Strategies Teachers serve on the front line in the campaign against bullying. Here are some tips you can use to keep bullying at bay:

-Discuss the rules with the students, or better yet, involve them in making the rules. Students are more likely to abide by and promote rules they helped to create. -The rules should be written in a positive manner. Instead of focusing on what the students should NOT do, give them rules that identify the desired behavior. (See the home page link titled: "Creating you own behavior management plan") For example, instead of "Don't disrespect others", word the intent as "Talk nicely to others". -When making rules, it's also a good idea to discuss the consequences for failing to follow them. Create consequences that will help the bully learn pro-social skills. The consequences should be something functional. For example writing: "I will not hit Jane." 250 times on a sheet of paper is not functional. While indicating what not to do, it provides no description of the desirable behavior. In that case, the bully doesn't really learn anything new. It neither identifies nor promotes an alternative behavior (such as "When I'm angry, I will use I messages to express my feelings."). The bully should be taught to accept responsibility for his/her actions. (Perhaps through Life Space Crisis Interviewing...see the home page link on that procedure) alternate behaviors (perhaps through social skills training...see the home page link on that procedure) -Hold regular classroom meetings so that students and teachers can clarify or change bullyrelated rules if necessary. This gathering can also help students and teachers become more aware of bullying and what they should do if it happens to them. Every classroom dynamic is unique and that factor should always be considered when creating rules and consequences. Sometimes rules also have to be modified because of that uniqueness. -Develop and/or use a curriculum that actively promotes positive assertiveness, communication, respect for others, camaraderie, friendship within the classroom. -Talk regularly with parents and inform them of how their child is behaving and performing school. Inform parents of any bullying occurring to or from their child, and discuss how actions taken to help their child are or are not working.