STRATEGIES FOR REDUCING STRESS

In our life, we have faced and been facing so many things called "stress" ! However, these things are not too difficult to be discarded, so dont worry too much about it ! Here are some ways that I've learnt from a good psychologist to reduce our stress, insisting that they are well enough to try ! 1/ Reframing stress: thinking of positive benefits for enhancing performance Just imagine, our lives are like motors and our minds are like engines of these motors. When stress has not reached our minds, we act so simply and easily as we want. However, when stress raises, what do we have? A feeling of anxiety and depression? Or a feeling to get crazy whenever possible? Yes, that's all right. However, why don't we think about a good effect of this? For example, we can think that stress helps us to increase our minds so as to make us solve our problems more quickly and effectively. In this thought, stress is like the "petrols" to force our engines to accelerate our motors ! If we can do that, we have just done something called "reframing stress". 2/ Facing the source: what is the stress saying to you? Just ask ourselves: what are the stresses saying to us? What are the messages we should receive from stresses as presents? Then think of the answers for these questions. Just be calm and release our minds so that we can find out the sources and faced them ! What we need now is only to believe ourselves ! 3/ Identify the problems: which triggers and contexts do the problems we have are located in? Though each of us has his/her own problem located in different triggers and context, I just wanna tell two of them: a/ Fears of failure: if we identify that we have fears of falling down, of failure or any other negative feelings, just learn to listen to every sayings and valuating all those (which we may call "the value of feedback"). Moreover, try to keep ourselves know how to learn from mistakes coz that's very essential . b/ Depression coz of being turned down, especially in love: if we are "kicked" by the one we loved, do not take it so seriously. Think of why we are so, then use our minds to check out our faults. In this case, try not to accept "I'm guilty, I'm a fool," or something like that. Always remember that everything is meant to be, not accident (at this point) ! 4/ Learning to relax: there are some ways to help us learn to relax ourselves a/ Deep breathing: how to deep breathe? That question can be answered by our gymnastics teachers, and his/her advice are something we have to practice. However, we can find out our ways, as long as we don't let any of bad feelings get in our ways coz that's not good ! b/ Training muscle relaxation: to do this we should have someone behind us; however, without them is still OK but will be more difficult. But what do we do for this training? Just calm down ... close our eyes ... and feel ... Then ... what do we feel ... and what do we hear ... Practice again and again, until we feel more comfortable ... or go into sleep ! c/ Using visual imagery: think of every things we are facing like a picture, for e.g: a path. Let us walk in this path and "put" our problems along this path like stones or holes. How we pass this path, think of it, and then return to reality. May we find a way to solve our problems?

d/ Reaching out: go and come to our friends or anyone we can believe. Listening to their sayings while telling them our fellings in certain limits. Pick and use the picked ways learned from them. Of course, we must respect them coz that's the first thing to do. e/ Self-talking: what are we saying to ourselves when stressed? What can we say instead? Try to give the answers and stand up for our answers appropriately.First thought usually best thought ! f/ Constructive escape: movies, books, music or anything like that should be something we need ! However, remember to do them all in moderation ! Over it - over problem !!! g/ Physical changes: this way is easy, so discover it yourselves ! (eg: diet, exercise, etc.) h/ Planning for relapse: that's the final and the last way. Coz you don't know where and when you will catch stress again, think of it and "draw" a map for what it'll be ! All in all, what I wanna say is that: Nothing will we gain if we havent practiced and prepared to gain. LISTENING TO OTHERS !!!! There are three levels of listening (that's what I learnt from a psychologist). Now let me introduce them all to you, guys: 1/ Fitst of first is the ability to hear the words: Yeah, we know that hearing is something so easy for us to do; therefore, we needn't talk so much about this level. However, the only thing we should notice is to pay attention to others beside the environment around and our physical health. That's all !!!! 2/ The second level is the ability to hear the meanings of words: this level contains the skill paraphrasing. But what is "paraphrasing"? This is a kind of thing that we somtimes understand "to listen and then summarize what just listened". That's not difficult, but not easy either. For example, when we listen to a short speech and when to a long speech. How much do we remember? And how much can we summarized? That all belongs to our practices to paraphrase them ! However, when we listen, try avoiding some bad habits like planning responses (coz planning answers could takes our time to listen, or even make us unable to concentrate), connecting to ourselves problems (coz that could sometimes make others uncomfortable), and prejudicing (coz that makes us impossible to hear through). Besides, at times we could raise some questions, that calls "asking back" or feedback, along with our emotions (a nod, for eg.) coz that can make others feel better. But but but this is a "two-way effect" or two-slide knife and the only thing able to make it "one-way" is up to how we do !!!!! Once else, remember to try not to interrupt others when they are saying as long as possible ! 3/ The final level is the ability to hear the emotions behind the words: This is the most important level of listening. As we know, others always have a tendency to hide their feelings when they talk to us, even a closest friend could sometimes behave like this ! In these cases, what should we do? Firstly, use our voices: Right tones, right voices and right effects !!! Whether they could tell us what they feel or not is due to our behaviours. Try to practice Empathic Listening (in Vietnamese, that means "thu cm", not "thu hiu" only !!!). Put ourselves in their places, not to guess what they feel, but to feel what they are dealing within their souls containing their minds, their loves, and others more than that. If possible, forget us ourselves and lead our heads as if we are them ! When we can do it, we can solve their problems more easily !!! After all, what I wanna say is that: Life needs someone who can listen to others when they need him. We are born to be that "someone" !!! But if we really desire that, we should practice as much as

possible. Once again I would like to say: Nothing will we gain unless we have practiced and prepared to gain !!!!! Good luck !!!!