Bunker 1 Amanda Bunker Eng461 Dr.

Elaine Ostry 6 May 2011 Mothers: An Important Factor Regarding the Health of Adolescent Females Adolescence is an important time in life. It can be a groundbreaking period, but it can also be a difficult time period. Adolescence affects males and females in a similar fashion; however, one part of adolescent females is that emphasis is placed on the maternal influence. Teenagers are coming of age and having experiences with which their mothers can relate to mothers have already tackled the adolescent stage. In Wintergirls, Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac, and Up a Road Slowly one can see that the events which the main characters are impacted by are directly linked to the fact that they are missing and important part of their life a mother. Without a strong maternal connection, an adolescent females well-being will be comprised such as their identity, pubertal development, family dynamics, and maternal bond. Mothers are the people we turn to in hard times. They serve as our role models throughout our lives. We turn to our mothers seeking advice about new experiences and developments. Mothers help us establish our identity spawning from their own identities and experiences. In Hope Edelmans Motherless Daughters she discusses this sameness between mothers and daughters. Edelman states that Because she has gone through adolescence herself and understands that her daughter must achieve autonomy, she pushes her daughter toward adulthood and independence (44). This can either mean that the teen is simply trying to find her own identity, or it could signal that the teen is starting to rebel against an authority figure. We can see a stark contrast in the rebellious actions and consequences in Wintergirls, and Up a Road

Bunker 2 Slowly; however, this will be discussed later. For now, I would like to focus on the idea of a teen searching for her individuality. Paul Trad believes in his article, Mothers are role models for adolescents acceptance of sexuality, physical appearance, and eventual acceptance of the motherhood role themselves (11). In Up a Road Slowly Julie doesnt have an adult to confide in and build an identity from. The only female influence in her life since Lauras move is Aunt Cordelia. Julie doesnt associate with Aunt Cordelia as a mother figure. Julie only learns from her about rules, regulations, and schoolnot about boys, hormones, or female companionship. By the end of the novel Julie ends up being more like Aunt Cordelia than she ever wanted to be. We never really get to see any healthy individualization developments from Julie herselfwe see bits and pieces of the people she affiliates with. For instance, when Julie calls Bobby and Peggy Robert and Margaretjust as Aunt Cordelia doesnt believe in nicknames. By the end of the novel Aunt Cordelia embraces her role as Julies mother and says to her I think, Julia that its time you pushed out of the nest (Hunt 184). Aunt Cordelia claims that Julie will be a younger version of Cordelia if she stays because Cordelia has been the only role model Julie has had. In Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac Naomi has forgotten everything about her life. Once she realizes that her father and mother are divorced she wants nothing to do with her mother and harbors ill feelings toward her. Not having that closeness with her mother that she remembered having as a child haunted Naomi. Instead of moving on with her life after her accident, she dwells on the past which she cant remember. She longs for the comfort of her mother. Zevin writes from Naomis perspective reflecting on herself and Chloe, the delivery was different, but the result was basically the samea love story in millimeters or a love story in miles (236). Not only until after Naomi welcomes her mother back into her life does she start making progress in moving forward. Without the influence of her mother, Naomi was more interested in friends that

Bunker 3 didnt really seem like her friends, a boy whom she didnt love, and pursuing hobbies that were totally out of her comfort zone. Mothers are needed to guide teenage females through life. The progress of adolescence is hindered without that maternal influence. During adolescence, females are experiencing bodily changes that they will have questions about. Some teens may construe the bodily changes as scary, embarrassing, and some may even go into a depressive state. Having a mother present to answer your questions is both helpful and comforting to the teen. Edelman states, Adolescence, a period of intense internal chaos even without mother loss is perhaps the only time in human developments when obsessive, phobic, and paranoid behaviors are actually considered normal (43). Within Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac, Up a Road Slowly, and Wintergirls the message is made clear that the time period of adolescence is a transitional one. In Up a Road Slowly we see how Julie is confused by the feelings in her head. Without the influence of a mother, Julie interprets those feelings wrongultimately trying to get revenge on Aunt Cordelia. With her apparent facial expressions and body movements Aunt Cordelia makes her opinion about Julie and Brett knownthat it is just and infatuation. The time that Julie spends with Brett in the novel he was leading her down the wrong path. Her feelings with Danny were a much different experience. Hunt writes that I loved Danny secretly, or thought I did, but for all my love I didnt hesitate to hurt him one evening, and act that hurt me to remember for many years (21). She suppresses her feelings for Dannythe boy who always seemed like the best friend or brother type of guy really turns out to be someone she has stronger feelings for, but doesnt know how to recognize those feelings because of a lack of a strong mother figure. In Motherless Daughters by Hope Edleman she comments that: When we detach from one person or group, we naturally want to attach to another.

Bunker 4 During normal adolescence, as a girl loosens her attachment to her mother she invests more energy in her peer group and possibly in a romantic partner. Although this break is significant, its not complete: a daughter still periodically returns to her mother in times of stress (44). In Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac Naomi is a girl who puts on a different faade for the different groups of friends she has. Zevin displays this as follows, It was like they were putting on a show of having lunch as opposed to eating lunch (69). Naomi realizes that these were the people that her boyfriend was friends withso obviously they were her friends too. This originates from the idea that Naomi is still in the process of finding her identity; however, even before the accident she didnt really have an identity of her own. With help from the accident and a little inspiration from her mother Naomi learns that there are things in the world that are worth 100% of her time invested into themand the others arent really her true friends. Without the accident or reuniting with her mother Naomi may have never learned that lesson. In Wintergirls we can see how Lia tries to please everyone around her because she isnt pleased with herself. Edelman reflects of this idea of self-image that she frequently aims for a person and controlthey need to feel in command if her body or environment, addictive of self-destructive is a common [reaction] (52). There is so much pressure put on Lia in all aspects of her lifenot just her weight. The part of her life that she has the control over and the one that pleases her is that she can successfully starve herself. She knows that it displeases her dad and Jennifer. Her obsession is her last resort of how to get through to them about how unhappy she is with their rules and regulations. In a heated argument with her father Lia remarks, Youre wife watches me step on the stupid scale every week (Anderson 212). We can sense within the writing style that Lia is being sarcastic and in a constant battle with not only herself but those around her. We

Bunker 5 know how Lia tricks the scale, her father, and stepmother. We sense the growing hostility. Her obsession is thwarting her adolescent developments. Lia doesnt think about having a boyfriend, and doesnt get a period. She is trying to remain in the body of a child because that may preserve her childhood memories better for her. Jennifer isnt really living up to Lias idea of what a mother should be, and Lia doesnt get along well with her own mother. The idea that Lia has in her head about what mothers are supposed to be is fragmented because the influence that Lia gets from the two women in her life are in bits and pieces. Blended families can prove to interrupt family dynamics, especially if the teens arent completely healed from the divorce or separation and losing on parenta father or a mother. The article, Parental Expertise, Trustworthiness, and Accessibility: Parent-Adolescent Communication and Adolescent Risk Behavior states that certain parental characteristics contribute to relationships between parent and teen such as how likeable the source is and formal credentials of the source (Guilamo-Ramos, Jaccard, Dittus, and Bouris 1230). In Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac we can see this kind of behavior from Naomi when she finds out her mother left her father for another man. Out of instinct, Naomi pushes her mother away but pushes away a part of her that her body still craves. Naomi reflects, I longed for Mom in the most primitive way (Zevin 22). The memories of her mother come back to haunt her is her postaccident state. Naomi has not fully gotten over her mother and fathers divorce. She may have thought she had gotten over it before her accident, but with her memories gone, it is like she is experiencing everything for the first time again. Her father has already started seeing another woman and her mother is re-married and has another daughter. Naomi reacts to the story of her parents divorce by saying Women who cheat on their husbands and get pregnant are sluts (Zevin 33). The changes were thrown at her so suddenly. Adolescent Girls and their Mothers:

Bunker 6 Realigning the Relationship states that there needs to be realistic goals established for integrating a new family structure (Trad 13). No one in Naomis family sat down and communicated about what was going on because all of them were trying to forget the past, but Naomi was living in it. Naomi is spending so much of her time and energy thinking about her mother that she feels lost in her own adolescence. She needs both the support and communication from her mother and father in order to move forward. On the other hand, in Wintergirls we can see the Lia makes it known that she dislikes Jennifer for trying to take care of her like her mother was supposed to. Lia was expressing the pent up hostility toward Jennifer for trying to run her life just like she is trying to run Emmas. A healthier way to establish a relationship with Lia would have been for [step] mother and daughter [to] both confront certain emotional conflicts before negotiating an adaptive relationship (Trad 15). In Wintergirls there was a lack of communication between the two blended families causing Lia to feel fragmented. Lia lacked the strong maternal influence needed to grow up both emotionally and physically healthy. This fragmentation may be the source of her eating disorder. Edelman says that when stepmothers enter the picture within two years of divorce the daughters feelings of anger and betrayal often prevented her from accepting her stepmother as a viable, feminine model (187). Lia is angry at Jennifer but wont admit it. Jennifer knows that Lia is angry and wont confront her. With a stronger and healthier relationship between them as a family Lia would be a healthier person. A mothers influence and love is carried on throughout a childs entire life. It is the unbreakable bond between mother and child; however, there are some aspects of that bond that need to be broken. Edelman comments that for a teenage daughter to have mood swings and harboring both positive and negative feelings toward her mother is a normal part of adolescence.

Bunker 7 She writes that Feelings of love and security connect her to a vital source of nurturing and support, while anger and resentment help her establish and maintain the distance she needs to begin to venture forth alone (44). In Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac the bond was severed when Lia found out about her mother having a new and improved family. In Paul Trads article he tells of a study done on a blended family. He writes that [The mother] Cheryl was closely attached to Lena and she appeared to derive pleasure from interacting with the infant (15). Naomis mother didnt hesitate about being intimate with another man and leaving Naomi and her father. When Naomi calls her mom and Emma answers the phone, her new family seems so much happier. Since the onset of Naomis amnesia she was hit with the news of her parents divorce, her half-sister, and stepfather that her anger was released onto her mother. In the study that Trad conducted he noted that [the daughter] Mary-Beths entire attitude towards me changed. The disrespect began slowly, but increased steadily (16). These behaviors sound quite similar to the behaviors and emotions that Naomi expressed towards her mother. This shows that her behaviors originate from her anger and the disrupted bond with her mother. In both Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac and Wintergirls the main characters have step families. Trad says, Stepfamilies are notoriously at risk because family members often are unsure of the permanence of their bonds of filiation (19). Naomi doesnt want to get attached to her mother because her mother so easily left her when she was younger. If her mother abandoned her in the past, then she is capable of it now. In Up a Road Slowly, Although Laura poses as the second mother that Julie longs for, there is no replacement for a biological mother. Julies next mother-figure is Aunt Cordelia. Aunt Cordelia provides Julie with stability, rules, and regulations. The book Surviving the Early Loss of a Mother: Daughters Speaks review says, Teachers emerge as a strikingly significant, sometimes acting as mother substitutes, sometimes acting unfeelingly

Bunker 8 (Tracey 1). Aunt Cordelia tries to guide Julie down the right path but doesnt provide that nurturing daughters require. Like I said, adolescence is a transitional period. Readers can see Julie mature throughout the book. One of the reasons that Paul Trad says that mothers may have a hard time bonding with their daughters is because they are forced to retrace the painful experiences of her own past and possibly arouse feelings of jealousy in herself (18). When Julie finds out the Aunt Cordelia was in love with Jonathan Eltwing she develops respect for Aunt Cordelia and sees her as a softer person who has hardened over the years. Raising a teenager who is much like herself must be hard for Aunt Cordelia. Julie has the time to fall in love and have the experiences that Aunt Cordelia couldnt. That places a strain on their relationship but also strengthens the bond between them. A mother is a friend and a protector for children and teenagers. Teenage females especially need their mothers because they need someone who has already experienced what they are going through. They not only need a friend and a protectorthey need a leader. In Wintergirls Lias wellbeing was comprised because her lack of a maternal influence was feeding her desire for control in her life and with her eating disorder. In Up a Road Slowly Julies wellbeing was compromised because she was able to develop an identity of her own without understanding the importance of mothers as leaders. In Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac Naomis wellbeing was compromised because her idea of a family and mother was fragmented when her family was torn apart at a young age and the pieces were jumbled all together. Mothers play an important role in teens lives. Without a mother it is easy to get led astray in the journey of adolescence.

Bunker 9

Works Cited Anderson, Laurie Halse. Wintergirls. New York. NY: Penguin, 2009. 212. Print. Edelman, Hope. Motherless Daughters The Legacy of Loss. New York. NY: Dell, 1994. 43, 44, 52, 187. Print. Guilamo-Ramos, Vincent, James Jaccard, Patricia Dittus, and Alida M. Bouris. "Parental Expertise, Trustworthiness, and Accessibility: Parent-Adolescent Communication and Adolescent Risk Behavior." Journal of Marriage and Family. 68. (2006): 1230. Print. Haley, Beverly. "The "Fractured Family" in Adolescent Literature." English Journal. 63.2 (1974): 70. Print. Hunt, Irene. Up a Road Slowly. New York, NY: Berkley, 1986. 21, 184. Print. Tracey, Anne. "Book Review: Surviving the Early Loss of a Mother: Daughter's Speak." Mental Health, Religion, and Culture. 12.5 (2009): 1. Print. Trad, Paul. "Adolescent Girls and their Mothers: Realigning the Relationship." American Journal of Family Therapy. 23.1 (1995): 11-9. Print. Zevin, Gabrielle. Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac. 1. New York. NY: Square Fish, 2009. 22, 33, 69, 236. Print.