Growing in trust

January 9, Bern Leckie

What does God say about trust?

Worldly principle

Gods principle

The primary relationship

Genesis 1:27-28 Psalm 27:14 Psalm 32:10 Psalm 34:8 Psalm 34:22 Psalm 37:3-5 Psalm 37:40 Proverbs 3:5-6 Matthew 6:31-32

Jesus and trust

John 2:23-25 John 13:34-35 John 14:1 John 20:21-23

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What builds trust, and what decreases it?

Trust accounts

+ DEPOSITS +

- WITHDRAWALS -

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Behaviours which build trust

You cant ______________ yourself out of a problem youve _________________ yourself into (Stephen R. Covey) No, but you can ______________ yourself out of a problem youve ________________ yourself into... and often faster than you think! (Stephen M. R. Covey) +Behaviour + CHARACTER Talk straight Demonstrate respect Current performance - Opposite/Counterfeit Lie, spin, tell half truths, double talk, flatter Dont care or show you care, show disrespect, or only show respect to those who can do something for you Withhold information, keep secrets, create illusions, pretend Dont admit or repair mistakes, cover up mistakes Sell others out, take the credit yourself, sweet talk people to their faces and bad mouth them behind their backs Fail to deliver, deliver on activities not results Deteriorate, dont invest in improvement, force every problem into your one solution Bury your head in the sand, focus on busywork while skirting the real issues Assume expectations or dont disclose them, create vague and shifting expectations Dont take responsibility, Its not my fault!, dont hold others accountable Dont listen, speak first/listen last, pretend listen, listen without understanding Break commitments, violate promises, make vague and elusive commitments, dont make any commitments Withhold trust, fake trust and then snoopervise, give responsibility without authority

Create transparency Right wrongs Show loyalty

COMPETENCE

Deliver results Get better Confront reality Clarify expectations Practice accountability

BOTH

Listen first Keep commitments

Extend trust

(source: The Speed Of Trust, Stephen M.R. Covey)

Bonus exercise to consider and discuss later...

How does the way we communicate affect how easy or hard it is to build trust and avoid misunderstanding? Rate out of 10... SMS text Facebook comment Email Phone call Brush-by meeting in crowd Conversation in small group One-to-one talk in person Richness of information shared Ease to express opinion Ease to interrupt or clarify Potential to misunderstand Time needed to use effectively

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Accountability
Why cant we do this alone?

What does accountability look like?

Discuss in pairs how do you feel about accountability, and what would you like to do about it?

My accountability arrangements

Our agreements with each other

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Bonus resource: accountability questions

John Wesley was an English pioneer of discipleship through high levels of accountability in a famously reserved culture. His society was experiencing massive changes in the way people were expected to work, live and relate to each other, and yet his focus was firmly on personal responsibility in whatever situation a disciple found themselves in. These questions could have a more modern wording, but they could also be very useful as a structure or at least a starting point in accountability discussions. Have you the forgiveness of your sins? Have you peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ? Have you the witness of Gods Spirit with your spirit that you are a child of God? Is the love of God shed abroad in your heart? Has no sin, inward or outward, dominion over you? Do you desire to be told of your faults? Do you desire to be told of all your faults, and that plain and home? Do you desire that every one of us should tell you from time to time whatsoever is in his heart concerning you? 9. Consider! Do you desire we should tell you whatsoever we think, whatsoever we fear, whatsoever we hear, concerning you? 10. Do you desire that in doing this we should come as close as possible, that we should cut to the quick, and search your heart to the bottom? 11. Is it your desire and design to be on this and all other occasions entirely open, so as to speak everything that is in your heart, without exception, without disguise, and without reserve? Taken from The Works Of John Wesley, Volume 9 (The Methodist Societies History, Nature, and Design), Edited by Rupert E. Davies, Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1989, pp.77-78. The following questions were asked of every member at every meeting. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. What known sins have you committed since our last meeting? What temptations have you met with? How were you delivered? What have you thought, said, or done, of which you doubt whether it be sin or not? Have you nothing you desire to keep secret? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.

Taken from Steven W. Manskars book Accountable Discipleship: Living in Gods Household, Nashville, Discipleship Resources, 2000, pp. 90-97. Source: http://ruach.wordpress.com/2007/07/29/wesleys-accountability-questions/

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PASS IT ON

Being a disciple who makes disciples

Every week in RE:SOURCE we are not aiming to fill our heads with learning, but to fill our hearts with a desire to grow in relationship with Jesus, so that we can get better at loving God, our neighbours and each other. This is not so much expressed in how we feel, but how we are ready to step out in faith. In order to do this, we have to invest time between meetings so that we can Reflect on what we have learned or been challenged with Discuss with someone else we trust e.g. a friend or an accountability partner Meet God in prayer and scripture so we grow in relationship with him and hear his guidance Work out what we are going to do in response, commit and do it

Every week: the key questions for reflection

What most grabbed my attention tonight? What did I learn about God? What difference is this going to make in my life now? Who am I going to share what I have learned with?

This week
In particular, it would be good to reflect on the importance of trust in your life, and what makes it possible to grow in trust. There may be all sorts of things you find which make it hard to grow trust with people so what do you want to do about this? What can you learn from Jesus example?

Next week...
we will share how we have been doing as we have engaged with what God is doing with us in the area of relationships, trust and accountability. Ideally you should aim to find an accountability partner and have at least a brief meeting with them to agree how you can share and grow together. As we proceed through RE:SOURCE and find some bits quite challenging, an accountability relationship will be a great help for putting things into practice. Please make it a short term aim to find an accountability partner and meet with them regularly (at least every couple of weeks.) However, you can still come to RE:SOURCE and take part fully if this isnt possible right now.

Next meeting
Monday 16th January, 7.30pm An overview of discipleship led by Tim Silk

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