PREFACE

We live in a day and age where words are powerful tools that shape our lives. They can be used to manipulate, educate, elevate and alienate people. Words can be a source of comfort; words can also be used to condemn a man to his death. Considering this, there are also words that we choose to keep within ourselves and shelter from the attention of the world. Sacred syllables that carry our hearts deepest desires, our minds greatest secrets, and our spirits sharpest pain. Words I never said is an anthology created for the purpose of freeing these shackled words from their cerebral restraints. Speak as you think is the message. Tell the world something you have always wanted to say, but never have, because you fear the repercussions. In this anthology the wordsmiths involved will engage you in a hard hitting piece of poetry that will caress and puncture your ear drums; you will not forget what you have read. When I sent out the theme for this anthology I did not expect to get such brave responses from the writers. I had a feeling that these writers where waiting for the right opportunity...this opportunity to share these poems with the world. As much as I was surprised I was also pleased, because this was exactly what this anthology was craving. Poems of neglect, poems of loss, poems that attack the prejudices that corrupt the moral fibre of society. I feel honoured to congratulate the 11 Poets that are involved in this anthology Phoenix Adam de Silva Aneika Caynes Knox Souls Lauren James Kiri Phoenix Kamran Assadi DSoloist Zee Chapusha Catherine Labiran Ezekiel The Poet You will see a lot more from these poets in the future, but for now enjoy their words that have been expressed so beautifully. I give to you Words I never said.

Francis Xavier Labiran Founder

CONTENTS
Phoenix - Daddys lost girl Knox Souls - The old devils moon Anieka Caynes - The illicit greetings of a shackled entity Adam de Silva - Died of a natural cause Lauren James - Pause DSoloist - Rise of the dawn Kamran Assadi - This is my Blueprint! Francis Xavier Labiran - Depth of isolation Kiri Phoenix - How can a heart be breaking? Zee Chapusha - McLaren MP4-12C Catherine Labiran - Untitled Ezekiel The Poet - The longest goodbye 2 5 7 9 12 14 16 19 22 24 26 29

Daddys lost girl by Phoenix

@Damidoesnttweet Lookingoutheglasshouse.wordpress.com

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I dont want you to love me, Love me and then youll leave, Leave me just like he, Did. Scared to love, Give myself away, To another male again. Left me before I could be, Daddys Little Girl. Broke my heart before it could grow. So I suffer, Holding the broken pieces of my heart, Cutting my hands & arms, Its love I bleed, Slowly trickling down, The body of me. Giving myself to the wrong kind, Knowing wrong from right, But to their lies? I am blind. I push you away, Before you toss me away, Like the trash, Same way he left. So I leave before I am left. You wont know Im broken inside, Heart screams out crying, Daddy how could you leave me?! In and out like a revolving door, Never stayed long enough, Or gave me the chance, To know what its like, What its like to be Daddys Little Girl. Instead of love I hold, I hold discontent, Damn near hatred, So every male must face it,

-3-

The damage that you caused, The pain, I didnt face. So instead, he feels my wrath, Fireball rage, From below my surface, Covered in pain. Confused by my outburst, But all I really want is for u to Say youll stay, Love me past my past, Love me through my pain. Im just a broken heart, Trying to be whole again. Im not asking you to fix me, Im more complex than that. Just love me for me, Issues and all. Like he never did, Never gave me that chance to know, How to understand, A fathers love Instead hes made me, Daddys Lost Girl Phoenix

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The old devils moon by Knox Souls

@knoxsouls renaissancebrother.tumblr.com

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Seated with joy in the waking morning of the night The old devils moon was also shining on that night. It was a deceiving light in the, dark -So captivating. A lingering charm, yet so deceitful. Joy was snatched from our homes because death came knocking, relaying the news that our brother is missing. But the strong man that we knew you to be was fighting that call and was rather making his way home. We believe war bellows and love cries fill the rooms putting up hope that tomorrow will be a present. So we echo striving prayers for our brother: Fight! Fight! Fight! Hoping that you will make it home. Two days waiting. We pray a tacit prayer through our souls. The floorboards cry out our pain because we press on with our kneecaps, asking Our Master for a helping Hand so he will bring you home And that he may peel the fear off your back So that you may have wings to face this struggle The room is vibrating a call for help As families hearts echo barking prayers Apart from God and the angels It was only you in this dark jungle fighting for your life No one knows what it was like We hope the wind carries our cries to stir your heart to Let you know we are echoing our prayers And whatever our Master decides We know you lay in safe Everlasting Hands We are praying for you with love I even had this silly wish that I would ride a shooting star to your destination and save you. Not knowing what news the waking hours hold Leaving us black and blue Yet like a cigarette waiting to burn We were filled with hope. Wherever you stand or wherever you lay I know you are facing the cross And on that note I know you are facing heaven Now I truly understand that there is a divinity that Shapes our future and he will never depart from us Julian Knox

-6-

The illicit greetings of a shackled entity by Anieka Caynes

@_sasha_smith_ mouthypoets.wordpress.com

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Yooooo! Wasurpppp my... Spook, Spade, Snowflake, Bounty, Oreo. Aunt Jemima, Tar-baby, Illegitimate Mulattoe. Dirty Worthless Parasite, Golliwogg, Cornbread. Intellectually Childlike, Boot lipped, Nappy head. Blue-Gummed Darkie, Banana Peeling Baboon. Alabama Porch Monkey, Midnight Coloured Coon. Anieka Caynes

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Died of a natural cause by Adam de Silva

Youtube.com/Mradamdesilva

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Died of a natural cause, Well Thats what they say. I remember that day cause at that moment my heart paused All around me faded, You werent here So inside I disintegrated, I felt alone. Why put me through this torture, Died of a natural cause again There aint anything natural about a father leaving his daughter. So What are they hiding, whats with the lying? I still dont believe the truth about his death, Dont they think thatll put my mind at rest & stop me thinking. I know hes in heaven and hes bless But One year on Im still crying Dad I miss you I got to face facts: I cant just wake up and kiss you Or for you to kiss me, upon my forehead After a story, whilst in bed I remember little things like when we used to fight for the remote or when you used to tell your not so funny jokes. Even the times when I used to ask for a sandwich, you used to put two biscuits together and say Lou heres your sandwich, I used to laugh but whod have known Id miss something so daft, Something so priceless. You cant put a price on love. You cant put a price on a bond so tight, I remember those times at night, when I needed a hug, when I didnt want to be alone Dad Your presence made our house feel a home And now youre gone and Im alone You see all Ive got is memories and they play in my mind like a slideshow, Nobody knows, Because Ive got to keep strong, maybe its wrong, But with younger brother, still grieving mother, I havent been able to say goodbye to you yet father And Im sorry. Sometimes Im just there, or here. Clouds receiving my stare, Inside feeling my fears, Im full of worry. Worry that I wont do right by myself, by my life Without you dad, without you by my side.

I know I hit rocky times but Im still standing firm, Lifes a lesson, lifes a struggle, and Ive learnt, The hard way, look at me dad Im burnt. And have the scars to prove it. Its not right that I gave up.. So I woke up, out of this reoccurring nightmare where my most loved died of a natural cause, again died of a natural cause. Adam de Silva

-11-

Pause by Lauren James

@LStar092 lolojames.tumblr.com

-12-

Inactive On trial Based in The recreational smile As I breeze past Shrug my shoulders like So what! As my blood boils I am far from FINE. A second later Youre gone The cancer has come Once more It has taken me abreast But I am still mad at what you said! Its the radiotherapy Making you lame I wish I could have done more Held you closer Spent more time Never left Or not respond When you called Its my Over all regret Of Words I Never Said I am a poet With emotions left Concealed I made mistakes And now I reveal Before you leave the door I run up And said once more I LOVE YOU See you tomorrow. Lauren James

-13-

Rise of the dawn by DSoloist

@soloboogz www.dsolist.blogspot.com

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I put on a brave face and a smile Knowing that the pain still shows in my eyes. I still try to hide it but nothing seems to work. Numb from the pain so now nothing seems to hurt Its like Im in my own world where nothing seems to matter. Just a select few that were always there, no matter. The night came and the darkness surrounded me Captured by the cold air I took solace in the sharp whispers of the wind. My mind floating with the clouds not far below the moon Hoping at some point the sun will come and rescue me soon. Sin eating away at my heart We all do wrong but sometimes we take it too far. Searching for a ride on the wings of forgiveness I look up at the sky once more to check if hes still listening. Hours go by in the darkness of the night and Im not even tired Not a chance of some shut eye not even a blink. Eyes wide open in hope for the arrival of a peachy sky and cream clouds. The darkness fled as the sun awoke from slumber. The day came and the feeling of hope was replaced by relief. Down on my knees I raised my gaze to the sky and put my hands together. I noticed that I was alone at this point However I had entered the black night with other lost souls. Many had become tired and laid their heads to rest But I stayed awake, waiting for the day. The day came and I was all alone. Grateful for a new day and a chance to change my ways I uttered a thank you to the heavens above. One thing I needed in this life was love. I need to be set free God is my rehab. Like an addict on drugs. I need to be cleaned. Once again I look up, asking the Lord can you hear me? DSoloist

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This is my Blueprint! by Kamran Assadi

@kamranassadi www.nupemag.com/author/kamran-assadi

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I breathe common sense in, Exhale negativity out, Im happily married, Positivity is my spouse! I have no fear, Except of Gods son, His spirit lives in me, Were both the holy ones! Poetically inclined, To open your mind, And make creative links, I do it for the love of it, My hearts the one that thinks! I grab opportunities... With both hands, Deadbeat laziness I really cant stand, I stand tall, In my talent I trust, Working hard is what I do, I dont like to make a fuss! Compliments I get daily like celebrity news, Every post I write for Nupe, Gets hundreds of page views! Breaking records, Setting trends, You can watch me from the bottom, Whilst I ascend! Some will say Im bragging, Im just being truthful, I get the tongues wagging! Gods my witness, My blessings overflow, Theyre bountiful! This I surely know! Ive been around the world, But I aint talking about flights, Im talking about the experiences that I can still recite! Wisdom and knowledge through these has been bestowed, I pass it down to the younger generations, Who feel its theirs to be owed! My friends cant do without me, And me without them, Is like the Flowerpot Men, Im bringing it back, Its Bill without Ben!

See I wasnt always this wise, I used to make mistakes, I reminisce and smile, Whilst I eat my victory cake! I dont let racism handcuff me, Because police dont be my enemy, Me a treat them as friends - you see! Smashing stereotypes, Like the Greeks smash plates, Colour used to hold me back, But now it opens gates! Windows, doors, You can see inside my soul, I let the truth be told! Open your eyes... Behold! I drop lyrical bombs... With real aplomb! Flow so fab, I leave yall on a cold morgue slab! I fly higher, Call me airborne, Its a new dawn, You haters add fuel for my FIRE! I feel sublime, I got my fine... American dime! I lead by example, Making that path for my first-born, Poetry rap to my unborn child, I drew the map for em! I make achievements, Like Im running out of time, Inspirational, Thats why the world is mine! Dont squint, Take it all in! This is my Blueprint! Kamran Assadi

-18-

Depth of isolation by Francis Xavier Labiran

@FXL_REVOLUTION Fxlrevolution.wordpress.com

-19-

Warm wet drops crept down my cheek, Leaving footprints of shame in their wake. Tears, Ive heard about them, Id seen her cry them, But never did I dream I would be so weak. Was I not the emotionless soul that was prophesized? Hardly, but she was deceived by my act. The Sun parted the Curtains that draped from my eye lids, Up until now I had not noticed its light. Or the winds glacial fingers Tracing across each and every one of my Newly born nerve endings Triggering seismic tremors that collapsed me to my knees where I should have been on my knees The day she left me, Seizing the air from my lungs Before they had learned to breathe. I used to adorn her with more Gold than Nefertiti Treated her body like a temple And when I worshipped inside her She came eye to eye with God himself. But her proclamations of Gospel I could not decipher I mistook her needs for wants She shook me off her crust And now I am a man without a world. The tears pace quicken as they race each other down my face My soul is aching My hands are shaking She is gone Now all I can do is write. My fists filled with rage but its too late to fight.

-20-

They say its better to lose love Than to never love at all But she was in love alone And now Im in loveand shes gone. And now Im here. with this gun The remedy to my unending pain Putting an end to my unequivocal shame Out of the chamber And Into My Brain The feeling is is now none. Francis Xavier Labiran

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How can a heart be breaking? by Kiri Phoenix

@Kiri_phoenix Kirigray.wordpress.com

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How can a heart be breaking? When love strokes it to sleep at night And wakes it in the morning with a kiss Locked in the grasp of lust Torn away from right & wrong. An uncertainty of where all these hearts belong My bed stores the emotion. No comfort from a pillow that changes night to night The security of the comfort in reality subsides And a need for this love aches in confusion Like its hard to breathe And all this romance is illusion Sixth sense strengthens the validation of invisible feelings. That pain to break free when kept in confinement Beauty when kept a secret, withers & transpires depression When a heart is more than it is allowed to show Miserys cloud shadows an inner smile Until the mind catches up with what the heart already knows. Kiri Phoenix

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McLaren MP4-12C by Zee Chapusha

@Verattamor veramor.tumblr.com

-24-

My strength has gone I have lost that thing that wakes me up in the morning That thing that puts a smile on my tired face and says its a beautiful day My inner being has been left torn to pieces like an empty room in a derelict building Its four walls being held up by nothing but worn and weary wallpaper Like a cheetah after an unsuccessful hunt I sprung into you and went from a speed of 0 to 60 in under 3 seconds With every twist and turn I gained speed and momentum Feeling life pulsating through my fluid spine and limber long legs until! I could chase after the gazelle that was your love no more You have taken this once majestic creature and turned it into an empty vessel Good for carrying nothing but bitter tears and hollow breaths Once the hunted The sought after The greatly desired The I cant go a day without your touch I have become the hunter The seeker The least desired The I need a day/a week/ a month away from you I have become nothing more than a good-for-nothing-but-carrying-your-shit vessel My 100% Egyptian cotton pure white sheets are now stained with the mascara I bought to look good for you My once Sahara-desert-dry pillow now lays soaked as though sunken at the bottom of the Atlantic, forced to face the watery wrath of Poseidon and his trident My strength has gone! I love you like Romeo loved Juliet Only difference is I am NOT 12 It has not been a mere 3 days And I love you ON PURPOSE, not by chance... I needed you like the oceans need the moon Like the worlds fattest man needs a gastric bypass, I need you but You Are unattainable I put all of me into you the way an asthmatic puts all they have into a single breath My strength is gone Like a cheetah after an unsuccessful hunt My strength is gone. But my spirit is not broken And soon I will rise from these ashes like a phoenix and hunt once again And go from a speed of 0 to 70 in under 3 seconds. Zee Chapusha

Untitled by Catherine Labiran

@Cathslabiran youtube.com/clabiran247

-26-

The candles cried into their feet, My toes curled semi-circular, The smog around the moon. You reflect the son you once were and now you Sun, Because you had me, In mayBe, Possibilities of showers in the arctic of this room. But, The truth is I cannot be with U. Vowels are only together in words like air And I cannot inhale. My earliest memories of you were goodbyes And now the womb that bled red Is bleeding blues for you. And Ill check the passageway for your shoes And allow my size 6 feet to swim 6 feet under The leather of your size 10 shoes. We didnt see eye to eye We saw fist to fist. Parted fingers between the banisters of stairs I saw the suspension of glass The spectrum Then the rainbow drip. I crayola, created you. And I hope you picture me beautiful And see the bouquet wedded to my voice-box were I found keys. And see my heart, where I found locks. The apple is falling. Newton and the snakes Birthday cake to celebrate the stray Finding its way in the mist unforming.

-27-

Im proud of you is deeper than I love you Because theres a reason for it. So, Tell me your proud. Because I love you is often the regurgitation of clowns And I loved the sound of love and how it caused tongue to lick and teeth mum said; Never reject anything thats free So I took the I love yous Without knowing the expense was... ...Me. So tell me youre proud. So I can sleep. Catherine Labiran

-28-

The longest goodbye by Ezekiel The Poet

@EzekielThePoet zeeksspeaks.tumblr.com

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I wish I never had to wave you off I used to hate to admit it but running away never got rid of The words I refused to say- I still taste the bitterness of the misuse and betrayal At your soft, conniving hands. The same which undressed me and offered me pleasures which are often in high demand amongst man But now Im soaked with regret, to you it may seem the sweat of love making which transgressed sex but its the realisation I wish I held onto my abstinence But I can never go back there again. Unfortunately, my innocence is 6 feet under, deceased R.I.P. I say this so I can mourn you properly And shed a light on the truth I hid from your murderer who I invited in to ride the tide that would wash you away from me Lost at sea, left to drown You were my crowning jewel, now Ive been stripped of my riches So I wallow in the pits of squalor, chanting how Ive got issues because I no longer trust these bitches, guess Im a goner And the doctors cant revive me, my pulse has faded From the moment I consented to strap on that protection I was sending myself out, into a war and the likelihood of my return was far less than the possibility Id make it Back because sometimes its not the absence of physical scars that determine youre okay, some cut deeper than that Irreversible, unchangeable, a decision Ill have to live with for life- lifes hard That way it best teaches you I wish I never mistreated you I wish I put a little more concern and appreciation into you But all were left with is goodbyes and drowned eyes Mourning you till the ends of time Ezekiel The Poet

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Published in 2012 by Wordjar Publishing No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher except for the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. www.wordjar.tumblr.com wordjarpublishing@gmail.com Facebook: Wordjar Wordjar Publishing. London Compiled by: Francis Xavier Labiran (Wordjar publishing) Edited by: (Wordjar Publishing) Designed by: Kelvin Akposoe (Wordjar publishing

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