MISS STAPLETON and the VAMPIRES by T. W.

Brazeau

She came bounding toward me, screaming. I really dont like screaming. Im not that kind of a being.

Theyve taken Raoul! she shrieked. I dont like shrieking either. I dont know which is worsescreamin shriekingand now shes doing both. I almost called her in and bit her. It was one of Them! still shrieking. They absorbed him!

I had seen this one before. She was one of the bloodsuckers. Vickie, I think she was called. I eat a few of th time to time, but generally dont like to.

Its after me right now! she shrieked. I was getting tired of this. Its right behind me, coming here! Help you hate Them, too!

This was true in its way, and was the main reason I was tolerating the screaming and shrieking. That and be preferred not to bite her. Vocal shrieking is bad enough, but this was both vocal and mind-penetrating. These bloodsuckers are seriously telepathic, you know. Not to the extent we are, but enough. And I was stuck here,

There was no way I could leave. It takes me years to get anywhere and to get burrowed in and re-situated w stones and dirt and leaves and stuff in place. It had taken the better part of ten years to get really comfortable with the nice little path right in front of me. Recently young trees have been growing up on top of me, which particularly nice touch. Calm down and be quiet, I told her. You make any more noise and Ill ensnare you.

I couldnt tell if she turned pale at that, these vampires are always so pallid, but she did quiet down. Now, what your problem is and why youre here screaming and shrieking at me.

One of Them is here. Right here in the City, she said, more quietly but still tense. I dont know how it g what it is doing with the Humans, but it absorbed Raoul. We were innocently prowling around as usual in the and alleyways, looking for a nice meal. Thats what we do. Then the Thing suddenly appeared out of nowher absorbed him! It was awful! There was nothing I could do! She was starting to get loud again.

Calmly, quietly, I told her. What is it you expect me to do? Im pinned to this spot. I cant go anywhere

Its after me now! she exclaimed, trying to whisper. I could feel It behind me, getting closer and closer got distracted and grabbed a Human. You know how They are. Itll come after me in Human form now and th worse. But you can stop It! she went on. You can seize It and consume It, Human and all! Rid the world of It! ItIt absorbed Raoul!

If I get a chance to, I will, I told her and I would, gladly. Ingesting one of Them expands my being in ma worthwhile ways. Besides, I was starting to get hungry again. It had been at least a couple of years since my l meal. Hunger wasnt a real problem. There were any number of nice meals traveling back and forth on this p time. After all, that was why I had chosen the location in the first place. But if one of Them were available, it

worthwhile to wait, especially if it came in Human form. Kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. Not actu though. I tried one of them once. Ick.

This situation was not totally unexpected. Jones, one of my few Human contacts, had come by earlier and t had reports of one of Them being around but he didnt have many details. I get along pretty well with Jones. quite a lot. He was a minor league serial killer in his youth, long ago indeed, but got religion or something an Now he comes around every couple of years and helps me out. Bite that one, hell say. Itll be a better wo do. Hes become quite the do-gooder. Sometimes Id ask why. Well, hes a serial rapist, starting to cut on t to go. Hed tell me things like that if I asked, but generally Id just go ahead and take his advice.

Jones wasnt entirely Human, I didnt think. He could sense certain things that Humans usually couldnt. A he was far too ugly. You know, I dont really think Humans are all that attractive, but my friend Jones is way pale. I think he may be one of those creatures I vaguely remember from centuries past. Trolls, I think they we me they were all called Jones. You dont see many of them around any more. Apparently they have mostly d

Abruptly, Vickie was joined by another of those bloodsuckers. He seemed to just suddenly appear. Thats o many things I dont like about them: theyre way too twitchyjump over here, zip over there. Why cant the one place like normal beings? Everything comes to she-who-waits. Especially food, but theyve never learned

Oh, George, Vickie said, trying not to shriek. The Thing absorbed Raoul, poor sweet Raoul! He was so Hed share his last drop of blood with you anytime. Now hes gone. And now one of Them is after me, too! W do?

I know, George said. One of Them grabbed at me, maybe the same one. I just barely managed to get aw hoping that Miss Stapleton here could help us. Could you? he asked, addressing me.

If you get It over here where I can get at It, Id be glad to, I told him. But Im not going jumping and jer like you two, forget that. All this talk about moving around was starting to make me hungrier. Nervous, too. tempted to gobble up one of these bloodsuckers, but knew Id regret itthey almost always give me at least of diarrhea and an acid stomach. Must be all the jumpiness.

I sensed a Human coming down the path. He wasnt in sight yet, but I could feel him coming and could fee was wobbling in an unusual way. It must be the individual they were talking about, the one that was infested Them. I dont know why, but They could never do a good job of operating those stolen bodies, always clums staggering around, running into things, falling down. Disgusting.

He came into sight, weaving his way in our direction. Both the bloodsuckers saw him and now I had two o shrieking and screaming. I would have to do something, just to put a stop to all the noise and disturbance, and get my life back. Miss Stapleton! Help! Do something! George wailed.

I winced at the volume. Get over here, closer to me, I told them. And be quiet. The closer the Human ge chance Ill have of getting them both. They were hesitant and not a little fearful of getting any closer to me a teeth, but I had no intention of snaring and biting them. The Human with one of Them in it was a much tastie and wouldnt give me diarrhea either.

The Human with the Thing inside stumbled closer. When he was close enough, he raised his arm, the finge extendedhe was about to point the finger at the vampires. Above all, I couldnt permit that!

If he, and It, succeeded in finishing that point, terrible things would happen, and not just to my vampire nu them it would be horrible. They would, first of all, revert to being Human, frightening enough in itself. But th then both become conduits and receptacles for hordes of Them pouring through from whatever hellish place T

home.

That would be intolerable. Delicious as The Things are, even I and the other Stapletons cant eat that many gluttons, you know.

I lashed out just in time. The moving finger froze as I seized control. I carefully extracted the Thing from th and immediately began to digest It. Tasty.

The Human, now back in his own mind, was looking around, confused. He looked at me and screamed. Wh the screaming today?

Teeth, I think it was he was screaming about. Well, I guess thats understandable. I have three rows, each sharp ones and my mouth was wide open. It was open because I was going to bite him. And I did. Three time it took.

I spit out the big belt buckle and some of those little round things, the coins. I just never did develop a taste especially iron. Too spicy. Now, these new electronic things I sometimes ingest nowadays are not too bad. I k have metal in them, but theyre more mellow.

Oh, thank you, thank you, Miss Stapleton, youve saved us all! they both said, gushing foolishly. They e a kiss, not an attractive sight, and off they went hand in hand, flitting around the treetops, Raoul already forgo

Well, I thought, I wont be seeing them for a while. Not until the next crisis. Do they ever come by to visit? just pass by and wave? No. Such ingrates. Shallow, too. On the other hand, I dont actually want them to com dont really like them and theyre not even good to eat. The diarrhea, you know. Ill get back to my meditations on The-Meaning-of-it-All. I had everything almost worked out when I was interrupted. Ill see you aroundif you take the right path. Bye for now...