Volume I, Issue II January/February 2012

JEAN LESLIE, MA, LPCC-S

Nuggets of Wisdom
Change is hard
Have you ever noticed that when you think about changing your life, you feel resistant? Many people say that they not only feel resistant, but they actually do things to keep their lives familiar. They do things like start a diet and then eat a candy bar on the first day, or quit smoking and then sneak a puff. There are some things you can do to make yourself less resistant. Here are 6 effective strategies: 1. ELIMINATE CLUTTER. Clutter can be viewed as a sign of uncertainty. Accumulating stuff might be stopping you from committing to an important thing. If you keep a lot of half-started projects around, it makes it difficult to zero in on the really important things. 2. START SMALL. Thinking of your overall goal can be overwhelming. So manage your resistance by choosing one small part of it and attacking it today. What is one thing, you can do right now that will move you one step closer to your goal. Now do it. Lets say your goal is to lose 20 pounds. That can certainly seem like an impossible thing to accomplish. It will seem more doable if you tell yourself, Im going to lose one to five pounds by (date). 3. DISPROVE YOUR DISEMPOWERING BELIEFS. In Reinventing Your Life, authors Jeffery Young and Janet Klosko suggest that you identify the beliefs that keep you from succeeding. They offer a way to dispute those beliefs by asking, Is there really an evidence today that this belief is true? They suggest making a list of the evidence. Continued pg. 3

Gratitude Corner
Thoughts have the power to effect the way you feel. Notice how you feel when you think about the last time you cried; the last time you smiled. If even the simplest negative thought has the power to provoke a change in your mood, why not use a grateful thought to make a positive change. A grateful thought does not have to be elaborate. It can be as simple as, I dont have a headache today or my socks are keeping my toes warm right now. Or it can be as complex as reflecting on the myriad of events that lead you to your current joyful situation. Large or small, thoughts have power. Take a moment right now and be intentionally grateful for something. Look on the brighter side and change the way you feel by what you choose to think about right now.

Winter Blues or something more?

As you read this after the holiday season, how are you feeling? Did the holidays leave you feeling stressed out or are you excited to get out and begin to enjoy wintertime activities? Winter is often a season that polarizes people, either you love it or hate it. For some, winter brings sledding, skiing, and enthusiasm. For others, it can bring the blues. If you are one of those who feel blue in the wintertime there may be reasons for it, and help to be found with managing it. Post-holiday: For some, the holiday stress may continue on into the New Year. This is often caused by left over feelings of disappointment during the holiday season and being physically exhausted. Often some intentional self-care, rest and gradually resuming a normal schedule can help get you back on track. Year in review: The blues also happens for some people because the start of a new year is a time of reflection which can produce anxiety. When you find yourself getting stuck in your thinking about the past or future gently return your thoughts to the present. The past has already happened, the future is still to be written, all we have is now. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) People who live in northern states (like Ohioans) may experience depression during the winter because of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD results from fewer hours of sunlight as the days grow shorter during the winter months. A combination of light therapy, counseling, Continued page 2

Nuggets of Wisdom
Page 2

Winter blues or something more

and/or medication can help you manage the symptoms of SAD during the winter months. Clinical depression. Depression is more than just feeling sad for a few weeks. Depression is a serious illness, not harmless winter blues. Depression is a complex disorder with a variety of causes. It is never caused by just one thing. It may be the result of a mix of factors, including genetic, chemical, physical, and sociological. It is also Thinking distorted thoughts; having an unrealistic view of life Weight loss or gain without dieting Change in appetite Change in sleeping patterns Recurrent thoughts of death Suicidal thoughts A specific plan for committing suicide A suicide attempt Feelings of restlessness or being slowed down When a person is suffering from depression, these symptoms cause significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. This means that the persons family and social relationships, as well as work life, are impaired. Greif, Sadness and Depression. Depression may include feelings of sadness, but it is not the same as sadness. Depression lasts much longer than sadness. While depression involves a loss of selfesteem, grief, disappointment and sadness do not. People who are depressed function less productively. People who are sad or disappointed continue to function. Signs That Professional Treatment Is Needed. If you or someone you know is depressed and exhibits any of the following signs, it is extremely important to seek the assistance of a medical or mental health professional. 1. Thinking about death or sui-

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cide. This is always dangerous and you should see a professional help immediately. 2. When symptoms of depression continue for a long time, you may need professional help. Acute responses to events are normal, but they should not last beyond a reasonable time. 3. Your ability to function is impaired by your depression. Seek help before your life situation deteriorates to a serious level. 4. You have become so isolated that you have no one with whom to check reality. Seek out someone to share your thoughts and feelings with. 5. Depressive symptoms have become severe. Winter blues are manageable and will pass as days get longer and weather gets warmer. A little TLC, support from family and friends, and doing the things you enjoy will cure most winter blues. Depression is something very different. Dont wait, get help it you need it. Additional information: American Psychological Association: www.apa.org Depressive and Bi-polar Support Alliance: www.dbsalliance.org National Mental Health Association: www.nmha.org Emergency Services: Netcare: 614-276-CARE (2273) Local Hospital Emergency Room Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK

On surface, winter blues and depression can look very similar. But the ways to manage them can be as different as the causes themselves.

influenced by behavior patterns learned in the family and by cognitive distortions. When a person suffers from depression, it can affect every part of his or her life, including ones physical body, ones behavior, thought processes, mood, ability to relate to others, and general lifestyle. Symptoms of Depression People who are diagnosed with clinical depression have a combination of symptoms from the following list: Feelings of hopelessness, even when there is reason to be hopeful Fatigue or low energy Much less interest or pleasure in most regular activities Low self-esteem Feeling worthless Excessive or inappropriate guilt Lessened ability to think or concentrate Indecisiveness

Volume I, Issue II
Page 3

Change is hard to do
4. REMIND YOURSELF OF ALL YOUR AVAILABLE OPTIONS. You always have alternatives and the power to choose among them. 5. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT YOU WANT. Look for signs that you are blaming your situation on others or not admitting past mistakes. Acknowledge them and move on. 6. VISUALIZE THE FUTURE. Author Barbara Sher suggests one way to do this: Write an imaginary press release about yourself. The

Conti. from page 1

date is todays date, two years in the future. The press release is announcing the most extraordinary event you can think of. It doesnt matter whether this event seems only vaguely possible to you. The important thing is that it is exciting to imagine.

Eight Self-Confidence Builders

There are many concrete, specific things you can do to feel more confident in challenging life situations. Make note of those that will help you develop your own sense of self-confidence. Follow your strengths. Selfconfidence comes from being the best you possible. It doesnt come from trying to be someone else. It is the result of following paths like these: * Do what comes naturally * Develop your talents * Follow your convictions * Express your own style Plan ahead. Many people are surprised to hear that selfconfidence comes from something as ordinary as planning. But think about it; lets say you are going on a job interview, almost always an anxiety-producing experience. When you are prepared, you feel more confident. Take action. Confidence comes from taking action. Break your challenge down into small steps and take that first step, no matter how small it seems. Study. The more you know about your subject, the more confident you will feel. In fact, the lack of self-confidence almost always stems from a lack of information. Weve all had that sick feeling that we dont fully understand what we are talking about. Act the part. The following tips will help you begin to present yourself in a positive way. Find a role model. Look for someone who is already successful in your field. Observe him or her and identify for yourself what behaviors convey self-confidence. Look and act powerful. Watch people who create a powerful impression. It could be a TV anchor, a character in a movie, or a coworker. Imagine yourself behaving in a similar way. For an example, watch the movie Top Hat. Fred Astaire exudes confidence. Be aware of nonverbal behavior that detracts from presenting yourself with confidence. Ask for feedback from a trusted friend or watch yourself on videotape. Rehearse for success. One of the most important ways to boost your self-confidence is by rehearsing important conversations and presentations. You can never be too prepared. These ideas will help you practice so that you really understand your subject: Manage your anxiety. Feeling anxious is normal when you are in a challenging situation. The key is learning to manage anxiety so it doesnt paralyze you or diminish your effectiveness. Get organized. When your materials are prepared and wellorganized, you will feel better about your ability to access them. Having information scattered in too many places makes you feel out of control and undermines your self-confidence. Persist. Self-confidence is the result of a lot of hard work. The process takes time. It has been said that success is 99% persistence and 1% talent. Enjoy your success. When you reach your goal, dont forget to give yourself credit for working hard. Be proud of what youve accomplished. Here are some ways you can do this: * Look in the mirror and say to yourself, Good work. Im proud of you. *Think of a way to reward yourself. * Tell others about your success. * Write yourself a letter or explore your accomplishment in your journal. * Draw a picture expressing your achievement. What suggestion resonated with you? What can you do right now to begin to make it happen more often. Taking a moment to consider it means you have already started.

Rediscover Your Inner Wisdom

Jean Leslie is a licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and supervisor in JEAN LESLIE, MA, LPCC-S Gahanna who specializes in helping individuals reconnect with their inner wisdom. As a trauma therapist, she helps individuals move beyond the painful experiences in their lives to reconnect with themselves and others. As infants we dont have to be taught how to feel or know what we want, we are born knowing it. Over time our interactions with others along with lifes challenges can create disconnections from ourselves, making it more difficult to know what we want, need or even feel. Counseling can assists individuals in rediscovering that inner wisdom in knowing what we already knew when we first got here.

261 West Johnstown Road Gahanna, OH 43230 Phone: Fax: 614-216-0547 855-875-6734

Website: JeanLeslieCounseling.com

Please pass this newsletter along to a friend. Or call 614-216-0547 to request additional copies.

One thing..right now

I often ask the question, What is one thing you can do right now, that will move you one step closer to your goal. This encourages people to focus on the here and now, on what is possible and on doing.
Q: How do you eat an elephant? A: One bite at a time.

Goals are a lot like elephants. When we break a goal down into smaller bites it can make it easier to swallow. What do you want to accomplish? After you have defined what it is you want to change consider how would you tell someone else how to achieve it? What would be the step by step instructions to get it done? If you get stuck on a step, break it

down even more. For example, if you want to go back to school but cant decide what to study, call 3 schools in the area and find out what programs they offer. The first step can be about getting information and finding out what is available. Thinking about each step and what you need to accomplish it can help provide you with a clearer focus and more motivation to reach that elusive goal.

Many of us dont struggle coming up with what we want to change, we struggle with accomplishing it. The age old question of How do you eat an elephant? reminds us to take it one bite at a time.