The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children

The Young Child is constantly withheld from many of his desires by physical limitations. We use baby entrance, fences, locks on doorways and cabinets (restricted areas ), cribs, playpens, leashes, and brief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the actual young child; monitoring what he sees, where he will go, and with whom he associates. These barriers are mainly for the purpose of protecting the child through himself - from his own desire to seek his own will prior to an age whenever he has knowledge, self-discipline, a fear of the Lord, or help from the actual Holy Spirit to resist that which is harmful to him or her. The School-Age Child is still in bondage under the elements of the world. Gal. 4:3 Foolishness is bound down the middle of a child. Prov. 22 :15a Having foolishness in the heart, he is likely to behave the part of a fool - a fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he constantly desires to venture into the actual "department store" of the flesh. There is nothing more dangerous than allowing a child to "discover themself " at this age. The heart is deceitful above all points, and desperately wicked: who are able to know it? Jer. 17 :9 Being at the beginning of his "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless from controlling his own desires; and also the fleshly nature is thought to be a fascinating friend rather than seen to contain no great thing. Rom. 7:eighteen As a parent, you must protect him from his own most detrimental enemy - his skin, and two other predatory opponents -- the world and the demon. Childhood is the time to train your son or daughter in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As a parent, you must become an external boundary that restricts the fleshly nature of the child until the time that he has established inner boundaries and has inner help from the Lord. The outside barriers must remain well beyond the cribstage; the obstacles now becoming more directed at the actual speech and actions (which arise from the thoughts). As a child gets older, curiosity about the external world and his body's wishes increases, and the pull of the inner fleshly nature gets to be more demanding. There is every indication in the Bible that God expects total mental (2 Cor. 10:five ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the kind of discipline that leads one to existing his body as a living sacrifice (Rom. 12:one ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as did Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in several Christian schools the disadvantages (peer influence, poor self-discipline, poor spiritual environment, and so on.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are those that greatly help to construct mental and physical selfdiscipline, and should end up being seriously considered by homeschool parents. Self-discipline in a college is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to provide books, homework, long-term assignments, etc. To school complete and on time. 2. The hold off of the physical gratification/needs associated with walking about, bathroom split, water, etc. 3. The actual delay of the physical gratification of eating (only from lunch).

4. The refusal of the desire to speak in order to concentrate on work. 5. The denial of the desire to speak so as to help others work. 6. The delay from the desire to speak to cooperate throughout group work. 7. Projects totally dictated by the instructor. 8. The denial associated with comfort to one's body (sitting up on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (vs. Clutter, toys available, etc.). 10. A day scheduled into definite, fixed time slot machines with limited time between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech and behavior, should, by the adolescent years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] on to Christ (Gal. 3:twenty-four ); not only in the sense associated with Salvation secured, but coming to Jesus Christ for assist with self-discipline. Correction from their parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ in order to save him from eternal passing away in Hell. Prov. Twenty three :13,14 Later within the teenage years, he has recognized that outward control (nevertheless some barriers and discipline, but much more guidance) combined with his own emerging self-discipline nevertheless fails to keep his flesh under control. He must eventually recognize that by himself he cannot "hang on" and do right - especially in regard in order to emotions and sexual wishes. He is coming to the knowledge of for I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for in order to will is present with me; but wait, how to perform that which is good i find not. Romans seven :18 Trust in his parents to help "keep" him controlled in speech, thoughts, and measures must now be directed toward one that is able to help from within their heart. If, having achieved this during the teenage years, he can now say i can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. Psalms 61:three The LORD is my personal strength and my shield ; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped : therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my tune will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he as soon as trusted in his parents, a teenager should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy lord : I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yes,I will uphold thee using the right hand of my personal righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all of [his] heart; and [must not] lean not unto [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a parent, you are his guide, their protector (from the world, his flesh, and the devil), and the external barrier to that which he desires to do that might develop poor habits as well as, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a young child generally lives for today as a slave to his flesh. Parents must constantly be alert for possibilities to direct the mind toward an organized, Biblically-based, inner control of thoughts, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from an understanding of sin. I would have you wise unto that which is nice, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your child from excessive thoughts about or interest in the things of this globe. And truly, if they have been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had

opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all diligence ; for out of it are the problems of life. Prov. 4 :23 "Keeping" a child's heart is the parents' responsibility ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized ideas when they reflect wishes of the flesh. For because he thinketh in his heart, same with he. Prov. 23 :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application of self-discipline. Deut. 6:six,7 Is. 30:20,21 5. Point out good examples leading to success as well as failure - from the holy bible and from life. Now all these things happened on to them for ensamples: plus they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends around the globe are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 nobleman 1:5,6 idol judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - thinking, reasoning; and memorization of verses, facts from subjects, poems, songs, etc. Your child's education should always have a measure of difficulty. Fun in education has its place, but diligent work should be the main exercise. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good training, by necessity, will involve turmoil with the fleshly nature of your child. 2. Train your child to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time instruction him to be cautious about choosing people to follow (strangers, etc.). Obey them that have the actual rule over you, and submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. One Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant attitude in all things. Work as diligently on attitude as you do on the training of physical discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the actual presidents and princes, simply because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent obstacles to unwanted actions. NEed desired actions when told the first time! It is poor training to allow your child the "pleasurable sin" of delayed obedience (calling several times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repeated infractions and encouragement for success (without inflating selfesteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate in the Biblical basis for bodily self-discipline and teach the practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is actually short, and the times are evil! Ep. Five :16 You have a brief chance (which is sharply reduced in the arrival of the teenage years ) to instill the mental "operating system" that will guide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "appreciate " the antics of a kid with little selfdiscipline. If you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," you and he will pay a expensive price - a kid left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a young child is not an adult, nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but childhood is the time to train the future adult. View all training because preparation for future service for the Lord. Train a

young child to become a useful servant from the Lord- strong in faith and in character! This is the parents' responsibility, and is not to be assigned to the church or a christian school. Homeschool parents have a great advantage in character creating, but many, due to weariness or perceived inability, are ignoring character building while concentrating on child-centered academics. It is going to be difficult to place a hurdle around your child's fleshly character. Each child will be different; many will put up more of a "fight " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do tend to be, perhaps, being prepared for a more difficult life of service for that Lord. Do not fail these children in their preparation by using excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be arranged by the "trainers." While you might need to let down your guard as well as indulge in poor character, always remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me, even as I also am associated with Christ. 1 Cor. Eleven :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition of teaching and consistency in correction and discipline. Train up a child in the way he should go : and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the rewards of careful attendance to character building are great ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 it is possible to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build a good inner restraint against the desires of the flesh - by giving consistent outer restraints as well as expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the Lord (which greatly stands for inner restraint); and to train to obey as viewing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me : I will teach you the fear from the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD may be the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for power and direction (recognizing which help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 o LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself : it is not in man which walketh to direct his steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To be accountable for the use of time. 1 Peter 4:2 2. To learn to wait to speak. James 1 :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. 1 Thes. 2:4 4. To understand to weigh thoughts carefully before speaking. Ps. Thirty four :13 Prov. 13:three ; 21:23 5. To be able to perform unpleasant tasks without distress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure hard trials. James 1:2,3 8. To learn to perform uncomfortable habits. 9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :27

10. To keep thyself real. 1 Tim. 2:22 Phil 4:8 11. To maintain rule over his own nature (emotions). Prov. 25:28 12. To complete a project from inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To refuse the lust of the skin (unavailable/wrong material or bodily desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to become content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to utilize no expectation of instant reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to an additional rather than to seek one's personal will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set prior to him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To trust in the LORD with all thine heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To refuse feelings and choose to do what is right. 1 Kings 18 :21 20. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. 1 Cor.8:13 21. To build up mental discipline (Disciplined thoughts Disciplined body). Two Cor. 10:5 22. To keep in work despite individual physical rebellion. Lam. Three :27 23. To be a servant rather than a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's personal name and family title (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and self-discipline with a good attitude. Prov. Three :11; 15:10 27. To cooperate with the needs associated with others - to acknowledge his needs for the benefit of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly worth system that directs daily decisions. Gen. 24:thirty-three Col. 3:2 29. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. One Peter 2:18 30. To develop a mental alertness. 1 Peter 5:8 31. In order to refuse negative peer pressure. Ex. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers associated with me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, full of Israel; To know knowledge and instruction; to see the words of understanding; to get the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, as well as equity; To give subtilty towards the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion. Prov. One :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the manner he should go: and when he's old, he will not go away from it. Prov. 22 :6 Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the coronary heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. Ec. 8:eleven Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of those things, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth. Yea, I think it fulfill, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you within remembrance. 2 Peter one :12,13 Implementing Goals For each goal that you desire to be fulfilled in your child, make a specific, long-range plan to see your objective accomplished. Follow the pattern of: EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING.

SAMPLE: Goal #1: self-discipline is needed to be accountable for using time. Example: Be alert to time in your own life. Display a concern for your own use of time. Be on time to church, appointments, class, etc. Don't waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to be done without stopping to play or to talk to others. Anticipate schoolwork to be done with out wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, and so on.) As your children get older (old enough to easily tell the time as well as own a watch), expect these phones be ready for church on time (without being told), get up on time (by using an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the table prior to an appointed time, be in from outside perform at a certain time, and so on. Teach your child the value of time - how to use it wisely, how to plan ahead, and how to work to meet deadlines and agendas (long and short-range). Get him to memorize verses having to do with period, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, disloyality, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen ) Training: Discipline in some manner when a responsibility to a certain time is avoided, ignored, or forgotten. Let your son or daughter know that excuses such as "i forgot" will not be accepted! selfdiscipline for wasted time when he is expected to be working (take time off from free/recess time, etc.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical discipline, when necessary. He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he or she that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is sure in the heart of a child; but the fishing rod of correction shall generate it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn blessing due to a failure in the obligation to do that which was taught. When self-discipline fails, the old nature will be reinforced/encouraged-because the joys of sin were permitted without any unpleasant consequences. In the event that unpleasant consequences are not organized by parents now, the actual unpleasant consequences will come when the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those regrettable things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not instantly discovered by a parent). Attributed to God, we would also refer to this as "learning hard way-by experience." Being confident of this very thing, that he that hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is God which worketh in you both to may and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. 2 :13 Jeremiah 29