The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children

The Young Child is constantly withheld from many of their desires by physical limitations. We use baby entrance, fences, locks on doorways and cabinets (restricted areas ), cribs, playpens, leashes, and brief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the actual young child; monitoring what he sees, where he will go, and with whom he affiliates. These barriers are mainly for the purpose of protecting the child through himself - from their own desire to seek his own may prior to an age whenever he has knowledge, self-discipline, a fear of the Lord, or help from the actual Holy Spirit to resist that which is harmful to him. The School-Age Child continues to be in bondage under the elements of the world. Gal. 4:three Foolishness is bound down the middle of a child. Prov. 22 :15a Having foolishness in the heart, he is likely to behave the part of a fool - a fool hath no enjoy understanding, but that their heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he or she constantly desires to venture into the "department store" of the flesh. NOthing is more dangerous than permitting a child to "discover himself " at this age. The heart is deceitful above all points, and desperately wicked: who are able to know it? Jer. 17 :9 Being at the beginning of his "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless from controlling his own desires; and the fleshly nature is regarded as a fascinating friend rather than seen to contain no great thing. Rom. 7:eighteen As a parent, you must safeguard him from his own most detrimental enemy his skin, and two other predatory opponents -- the world and the devil. Childhood is the time to train your child in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As parents, you must become an outer boundary that restricts the fleshly nature of the child until the time that he has built inner boundaries and has internal help from the Lord. The outside obstacles must remain well beyond the crib-stage; the obstacles now becoming more directed at the actual speech and actions (that arise from the thoughts). As a child gets older, curiosity about the outer world and his body's wishes increases, and the pull of the inner fleshly nature gets to be more demanding. There is every indication in the Bible that God expects total psychological (2 Cor. 10:5 ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the kind of discipline that leads one to present his body as a residing sacrifice (Rom. 12:1 ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as did Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in many Christian schools the drawbacks (peer influence, poor discipline, poor spiritual environment, and so on.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are the ones that greatly help to construct mental and physical selfdiscipline, and should be seriously considered by homeschool parents. Self-discipline in a school is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to deliver books, homework, long-term projects, etc. To school complete as well as on time. 2. The delay of the physical gratification/needs of walking about, bathroom break, water, etc. 3. The actual delay of the physical gratification of eating (only from lunch). 4. The refusal of the desire to speak in order to concentrate on work.

5. The denial of the desire to speak so as to help others function. 6. The delay of the desire to speak to cooperate during group work. 7. Assignments totally dictated by the teacher. 8. The denial of comfort to one's body (sitting upright on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (versus. Clutter, toys available, and so on.). 10. A day scheduled in to definite, fixed time slot machines with limited time in between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech and behavior, should, by the adolescent years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] on to Christ (Gal. 3:twenty-four ); not only in the sense of Salvation secured, but coming to Jesus Christ for help with self-discipline. Correction from his parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ to save him from eternal passing away in Hell. Prov. Twenty three :13,14 Later within the teenage years, he has realized that outward control (nevertheless some barriers and discipline, but much more guidance) coupled with his own emerging self-discipline nevertheless fails to keep his flesh under control. He must eventually notice that by himself he can't "hang on" and do right - especially in regard in order to emotions and sexual desires. He is coming to the knowledge of for I know that within me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for in order to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good i find not. Romans seven :18 Trust in his parents to help "keep" him controlled in speech, thoughts, and actions must now be directed toward one that is able to help from within their heart. If, having accomplished this during the teenage years, he can now say i can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter personally, and a strong tower in the enemy. Psalms 61:three The LORD is my personal strength and my shield ; my heart trusted within him, and I am assisted : therefore my heart significantly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he once trusted in his parents, a teenager should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy lord : I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yes,I will uphold thee using the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all of [his] heart; and [must not] lean not on to [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a mother or father, you are his guide, their protector (from the world, his flesh, and the devil), and the external barrier to that which he desires to do that might develop poor habits as well as, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a child generally lives for today as a slave to his flesh. Parents must continuously be alert for possibilities to direct the mind toward an organized, Biblically-based, inner control of ideas, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from a knowledge of sin. I would have you wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your son or daughter from excessive thoughts about or even interest in the things of this globe. And truly, if they have been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they may have had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all persistance ; for out of it are

the issues of life. Prov. 4 :23 "Keeping" a child's heart is the parents' obligation ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized ideas when they reflect wishes of the flesh. For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Prov. 23 :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application associated with self-discipline. Deut. 6:6,7 Is. 30:twenty,21 5. Point out good examples leading to success as well as failure - from the holy bible and from life. Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 nobleman 1:5,6 idol judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - considering, reasoning; and memorization of verses, facts from subjects, poems, songs, etc. Your son or daughter's education should always have a measure of difficulty. Fun in training has its place, but persistent work should be the main activity. Thou therefore endure solidity, as a good soldier associated with Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good education, by necessity, will involve conflict with the fleshly nature of your child. 2. Train your son or daughter to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time training him to be cautious about selecting people to follow (strangers, etc.). Obey them that have the rule over you, as well as submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant mindset in all things. Work as diligently on attitude as you do on the training of physical discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents and princes, simply because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in knowledge and stature, and in favor with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent obstacles to unwanted actions. NEed desired actions when informed the first time! It is poor instruction to allow your child the "enjoyable sin" of delayed obedience (calling several times, counting to 10, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repetitive infractions and encouragement for achievement (without inflating self-esteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate in the Biblical basis for bodily self-discipline and teach the practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is actually short, and the times are evil! Ep. Five :16 You have a brief opportunity (which is sharply reduced at the arrival of the teenage many years ) to instill the psychological "operating system" that will guide your son or daughter for a lifetime. There is no time to "appreciate " the antics of a kid with little self-discipline. Should you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," you and he will pay a dear price - a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a young child is not an adult, nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but years as a child is the time to train the future adult. View all training because preparation for future support for the Lord. Train a child to become a useful servant from the Lord- strong in belief and in

character! This is the parents' responsibility, and is not to be delegated to the church or a religious school. Homeschool parents possess a great advantage in character building, but many, due to weariness or perceived inability, are neglecting character building while focusing on child-centered academics. It is going to be difficult to place a hurdle around your child's fleshly character. Each child will be different; some will put up more of a "battle " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do are, perhaps, being prepared for a more difficult life of service for the Lord. Do not fail these children in their preparation by utilizing excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be arranged by the "trainers." While you might desire to let down your guard and indulge in poor character, remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me personally, even as I also am associated with Christ. 1 Cor. Eleven :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition training and consistency in correction and discipline. Train upward a child in the way he should go : and when he is old, he'll not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the rewards of careful work to character building are great ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 you'll be able to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build an inner restraint against the wishes of the flesh - by giving consistent outer restraints and expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body system, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the Lord (which greatly reinforces inner restraint); and to train to obey as seeing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me personally : I will teach you the fear from the LORD. Ps. 34:11 The fear of the LORD may be the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for strength and direction (recognizing which help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not really unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 to LORD, I know that the clear way of man is not in themself : it is not in man that walketh to direct their steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To become accountable for the use of time. One Peter 4:2 2. To learn to wait to speak. James 1 :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. 1 Thes. 2:4 4. To understand to weigh thoughts carefully before speaking. Ps. Thirty four :13 Prov. 13:three ; 21:23 5. To be able to carry out unpleasant tasks without stress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind in order to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure difficult trials. James 1:two,3 8. To learn to perform unpleasant habits. 9. To have physical self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :27

10. To keep thyself real. 1 Tim. 2:twenty two Phil 4:8 11. To keep rule over his own spirit (emotions). Prov. 25:28 12. To complete a project from inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To refuse the lust of the flesh (unavailable/wrong material or bodily desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to become content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to work with no expectation of instant reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to an additional rather than to seek one's own will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set before him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To trust in the LORD with all thine coronary heart ; and lean not on to thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To refuse feelings and choose to do what's right. 1 Kings eighteen :21 20. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. One Cor.8:13 21. To develop mental discipline (Disciplined thoughts Disciplined body). Two Cor. 10:5 22. To continue in work despite individual physical rebellion. Lam. 3 :27 23. To be a servant rather than a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's personal name and family name (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and discipline with a good attitude. Prov. Three :11; 15:10 27. In order to cooperate with the needs of others - to acknowledge his needs for the advantage of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly value system that directs every day decisions. Gen. 24:33 Col. 3:2 29. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. One Peter 2:18 30. To build up a mental alertness. 1 Peter 5:8 31. In order to refuse negative peer pressure. Ex. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers of me, even as I also 'm of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the actual son of David, king of Israel; To know knowledge and instruction; to see the words of understanding; to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, as well as equity; To give subtilty towards the simple, to the young man understanding and discretion. Prov. 1 :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the manner he should go: and when he's old, he will not go away from it. Prov. 22 :6 Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is actually fully set in them to perform evil. Ec. 8:11 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to place you always in remembrance of these things, though ye know them, and be established in our truth. Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you upward by putting you in remembrance. 2 Peter one :12,13 Implementing Goals For each goal that you desire to be satisfied in your child, make a specific, long-range plan to see your goal accomplished. Follow the pattern of:

EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING. SAMPLE: Goal #1: self-discipline is needed to be accountable for using time. Example: Be conscious of time in your own life. Display a concern for your own use of period. Be on time to church, appointments, class, etc. Don't waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to be done without stopping to experience or to talk to others. Expect schoolwork to be done with out wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, etc.) As your children get older (of sufficient age to easily tell the time and own a watch), expect them to be ready for church on time (without being told), get up on time (with the use of an alarm clock), plan ahead to be ready for a specific bedtime, set the actual table prior to an hired time, be in from outside perform at a certain time, etc. Teach your child the value of time - how to use it wisely, how to plan ahead, and how to function to meet deadlines and schedules (long and shortrange). Get him to memorize verses having to do with period, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, disloyality, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:14 ) Training: Discipline in some way when a responsibility to a particular time is avoided, overlooked, or forgotten. Let your son or daughter know that excuses such as "we forgot" will not be accepted! selfdiscipline for wasted time whenever he is expected to be working (set time aside from free/recess time, etc.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical self-discipline, when necessary. He which spareth his rod hateth his son: but he or she that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is sure in the heart of a child; but the fishing rod of correction shall generate it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn blessing due to a failure in the obligation to do that which was taught. Whenever self-discipline fails, the old character will be reinforced/encouragedbecause the pleasures of sin were allowed without any unpleasant consequences. If unpleasant consequences are not organized by parents now, the actual unpleasant consequences will come when the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those unfortunate things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not immediately discovered by a parent). Attributed to God, we would also make reference to this as "learning hard way-by experience." Being confident of this very thing, that he that hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. 2 :13 Jeremiah 29