The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children

The Young Child is constantly withheld from many of their desires by physical limitations. We use baby gates, fences, locks on doorways and cabinets (restricted areas ), cribs, playpens, leashes, as well as brief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the actual young child; monitoring what he sees, where he goes, and with whom he associates. These barriers are primarily for the purpose of protecting the child through himself - from their own desire to seek his own may prior to an age when he has knowledge, self-discipline, anxiety when the Lord, or help from the Holy Spirit to avoid that which is harmful to him. The School-Age Child continues to be in bondage under the aspects of the world. Gal. 4:3 Foolishness is bound down the middle of a child. Prov. 22 :15a Having foolishness in his heart, he is likely to behave the part of a fool - a fool hath no enjoy understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he or she constantly desires to venture into the "department store" of the flesh. NOthing is more dangerous than allowing a child to "discover himself " at this age. The coronary heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who are able to know it? Jer. Seventeen :9 Being at the beginning of their "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless from controlling his own desires; and also the fleshly nature is regarded as a fascinating friend rather than observed to contain no great thing. Rom. 7:eighteen As a parent, you must safeguard him from his own most detrimental enemy - his skin, and two other predatory opponents -- the world and the devil. Childhood is the time to train your child in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As a parent, you must become an external boundary that restricts the actual fleshly nature of the kid until the time that he has established inner boundaries and has inner help from the Lord. The outside barriers must remain well beyond the crib-stage; the obstacles now becoming more directed at the speech and actions (that arise from the thoughts). As a child gets older, curiosity about the external world and his body's desires increases, and the pull of the inner fleshly nature gets to be more demanding. There is each and every indication in the Bible which God expects total mental (2 Cor. 10:5 ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the kind of discipline that leads one to present his body as a living sacrifice (Rom. 12:one ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as do Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in several Christian schools the disadvantages (peer influence, poor discipline, poor spiritual environment, and so on.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are those that greatly help to build mental and physical self-discipline, and should be seriously considered by homeschool parents. Self-discipline in a school is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to provide books, homework, long-term projects, etc. To school complete as well as on time. 2. The hold off of the physical gratification/needs of walking about, bathroom break, water, etc. 3. The actual delay of the physical satisfaction of eating (only at lunch). 4. The refusal of the desire to speak so as to concentrate on work.

5. The actual denial of the desire to talk so as to help others work. 6. The delay of the desire to speak to cooperate throughout group work. 7. Assignments totally dictated by the instructor. 8. The denial of comfort to one's body (sitting up on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (versus. Clutter, toys available, and so on.). 10. A day scheduled in to definite, fixed time slots with limited time between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech as well as behavior, should, by the teenage years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] unto Christ (Gal. 3:24 ); not only in the sense associated with Salvation secured, but visiting Jesus Christ for assist with self-discipline. Correction from his parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ in order to save him from eternal death in Hell. Prov. 23 :13,14 Later in the teenage years, he has recognized that outward control (still some barriers and self-discipline, but much more guidance) coupled with his own emerging self-discipline nevertheless fails to keep his skin under control. He must eventually notice that by himself he cannot "hang on" and do right - especially in regard to emotions and sexual desires. He is coming to the knowledge of for I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but wait, how to perform that which is good we find not. Romans seven :18 Trust in his parents to help "keep" him controlled in speech, thoughts, and measures must now be directed toward one that is able to help from within his heart. If, having achieved this during the teenage years, he can now say i will do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower in the enemy. Psalms 61:three The LORD is my personal strength and my protect ; my heart trusted within him, and I am helped : therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my tune will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he once trusted in his parents, an adolescent should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yes, I will help thee; yea,I will uphold thee with the right hand of my personal righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all [his] heart; and [must not] lean not unto [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a mother or father, you are his guide, their protector (from the world, his flesh, and the devil), and the external barrier to that which he desires to do that might develop poor habits as well as, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a child generally lives for today as a slave to his flesh. Parents must continuously be alert for possibilities to direct the mind toward an organized, Biblically-based, inner control of ideas, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from an understanding of sin. I maybe have you wise unto that which is nice, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your son or daughter from excessive thoughts about or even interest in the things of this world. And truly, if they have been mindful of that country through whence they came out, they may have had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all persistance ; for out of

it are the issues of life. Prov. 4 :23 "Keeping" a kid's heart is the parents' obligation ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized thoughts when they reflect desires of the flesh. For as he thinketh in his heart, same with he. Prov. 23 :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application of self-discipline. Deut. 6:6,7 Is. 30:20,21 5. Point out examples leading to success as well as failure - from the bible and from life. Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends around the globe are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 kings 1:5,6 idol judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - considering, reasoning; and memorization of verses, facts from subjects, poems, songs, etc. Your son or daughter's education should always have a way of measuring difficulty. Fun in education has its place, but persistent work should be the main exercise. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good training, by necessity, will involve conflict with the fleshly nature of the child. 2. Train your son or daughter to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time training him to be cautious about choosing people to follow (strangers, and so on.). Obey them that have the actual rule over you, as well as submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your foe the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, looking for whom he may devour. One Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant mindset in all things. Work as faithfully on attitude as you do on the training of bodily discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents and princes, because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in knowledge and stature, and in favor with God and man. (He was 12 at that time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent barriers to unwanted actions. Demand desired actions when informed the first time! It is poor training to allow your child the "pleasurable sin" of delayed obedience (calling several times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repetitive infractions and encouragement for achievement (without inflating self-esteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate within the Biblical basis for bodily self-discipline and teach the practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is actually short, and the days are evil! Ep. 5 :16 You have a brief opportunity (which is sharply reduced at the arrival of the teenage years ) to instill the psychological "operating system" that will guide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "enjoy " the antics of a kid with little selfdiscipline. If you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," a person and he will pay a dear price - a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a child is not an adult, nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but childhood is the time to train the future adult. View all training as preparation for future support for the Lord. Train a child to become a useful servant from the Lord- strong in belief and in character! This is the parents' responsibility, and

is not to be assigned to the church or a religious school. Homeschool parents possess a great advantage in character creating, but many, due to weariness or even perceived inability, are neglecting character building while concentrating on child-centered academics. It will be difficult to place a barrier around your child's fleshly character. Each child will be different; some will put up more of a "battle " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do tend to be, perhaps, being prepared for any more difficult life of service for the Lord. Do not fail these types of children in their preparation by using excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be arranged by the "trainers." While you might desire to let down your guard and indulge in poor character, always remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me personally, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. Eleven :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition training and consistency in modification and discipline. Train up a child in the way he should go : and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the rewards of careful work to character building are great ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 it is possible to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build an inner restraint against the wishes of the flesh - by giving consistent outer restraints and expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the Lord (which greatly reinforces inner restraint); and to train to obey as viewing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me : I will teach you the fear from the LORD. Ps. 34:11 The fear of the LORD may be the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total believe in in the Lord for strength and direction (recognizing which help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 o LORD, I know that the way of man is not in themself : it is not in man which walketh to direct their steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To become accountable for the use of time. One Peter 4:2 2. To understand to wait to speak. James one :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. One Thes. 2:4 4. To learn to weigh thoughts very carefully before speaking. Ps. Thirty four :13 Prov. 13:3 ; 21:23 5. To be able to carry out unpleasant tasks without distress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind in order to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure hard trials. James 1:2,3 8. To learn to perform uncomfortable habits. 9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. NIne :27 10. To keep thyself real. 1 Tim. 2:22 Phil 4:8 11. To maintain rule over his own nature (emotions). Prov. 25:28

12. To complete a project through inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To deny the lust of the skin (unavailable/wrong material or physical desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to be content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to utilize no expectation of immediate reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to another rather than to seek one's personal will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set prior to him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To trust in the LORD with all thine heart ; and lean not on to thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To refuse feelings and choose to do what's right. 1 Kings eighteen :21 20. To give up a freedom so as not to offend another person. 1 Cor.8:13 21. To build up mental discipline (Disciplined mind Disciplined body). 2 Cor. 10:5 22. To keep in work despite individual physical rebellion. Lam. Three :27 23. To be a servant rather than a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's individual name and family name (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and discipline with a good attitude. Prov. Three :11; 15:10 27. To cooperate with the needs associated with others - to concede his needs for the advantage of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly worth system that directs daily decisions. Gen. 24:33 Col. 3:2 29. To submit to an unpleasant master. 1 Peter 2:18 30. To build up a mental alertness. One Peter 5:8 31. To be able to refuse negative peer pressure. Former mate. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the actual son of David, king of Israel; To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding; to get the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man understanding and discretion. Prov. One :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the manner he should go: and when he's old, he will not depart from it. Prov. Twenty two :6 Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the coronary heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. Ec. 8:11 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of those things, though ye understand them, and be established in our truth. Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you within remembrance. 2 Peter one :12,13 Implementing Goals For every goal that you desire to be satisfied in your child, make a particular, long-range plan to see your objective accomplished. Follow the pattern of: EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING. SAMPLE: Goal #1: self-discipline is needed to be accountable for using time. Example: Be alert to time in your own life. Show a concern for your own use of period. Be on time to

church, appointments, class, etc. Don't waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to be done without stopping to play or to talk to others. Expect schoolwork to be done without wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, and so on.) As your children get older (of sufficient age to easily tell the time and own a watch), expect them to be ready for church on time (without being told), get up on time (with the use of an alarm clock), plan ahead to be ready for a specific bedtime, set the actual table prior to an hired time, be in from outside perform at a certain time, and so on. Teach your child the value of time - how to use it sensibly, how to plan ahead, and how to work to meet deadlines and agendas (long and short-range). Get him to memorize verses having to do with period, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, disloyality, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen ) Training: Discipline in some way when a responsibility to a certain time is avoided, overlooked, or forgotten. Let your son or daughter know that excuses such as "we forgot" will not be accepted! discipline for wasted time whenever he is expected to be working (take time off from free/recess time, etc.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical discipline, when necessary. He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he or she that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is sure in the heart of a child; but the fishing rod of correction shall generate it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn benefit due to a failure in the responsibility to do that which was taught. When self-discipline fails, the old character will be reinforced/encouragedbecause the joys of sin were allowed without any unpleasant consequences. In the event that unpleasant consequences are not organized by parents now, the unpleasant consequences will come once the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those regrettable things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not immediately discovered by a parent). RElated to God, we would also refer to this as "learning the hard way-by experience." Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for this is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. 2 :13 Jeremiah 29