The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children

The Young Child is continually withheld from many of his desires by physical restrictions. We use baby gates, fences, locks on doors and cabinets (restricted places ), cribs, playpens, leashes, and brief commands ("NO!" "indeed !"). We carefully watch the actual young child; monitoring what he or she sees, where he goes, and with whom he associates. These barriers are primarily for the purpose of protecting the child from himself - from his own desire to seek his own will prior to an age when he has knowledge, self-discipline, a fear of the Lord, or help from the actual Holy Spirit to resist that which is harmful to him. The School-Age Child is still in bondage under the aspects of the world. Gal. 4:three Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. Prov. 22 :15a Having foolishness in the heart, he is likely to behave the part of a fool - a fool hath no enjoy understanding, but that their heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he or she constantly desires to venture into the "department store" of the flesh. NOthing is more dangerous than allowing a child to "discover themself " at this age. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who are able to know it? Jer. 17 :9 Being at the beginning of his "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless from controlling his own desires; and the fleshly nature is regarded as a fascinating friend rather than observed to contain no great thing. Rom. 7:eighteen As a parent, you must protect him from his own worst enemy - his flesh, and two other predatory opponents -- the world and the devil. Childhood is the time to train your child in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As parents, you must become an external boundary that restricts the fleshly nature of the child until the time that he has established inner boundaries and has internal help from the Lord. The outside barriers must remain well past the crib-stage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the speech and actions (which arise from the thoughts). Growing up gets older, curiosity about the outer world and his body's desires increases, and the pull from the inner fleshly nature gets to be more demanding. There is each and every indication in the Bible that God expects total mental (2 Cor. 10:5 ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the kind of discipline that leads one to existing his body as a residing sacrifice (Rom. 12:1 ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as did Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in several Christian schools the disadvantages (peer influence, poor self-discipline, poor spiritual environment, and so on.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are those that greatly help to construct mental and physical selfdiscipline, and should be seriously considered by home school parents. Self-discipline in a college is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to provide books, homework, long-term assignments, etc. To school complete as well as on time. 2. The delay of the physical gratification/needs associated with walking about, bathroom break, water, etc. 3. The delay of the physical gratification of eating (only at lunch).

4. The refusal of the desire to speak so as to concentrate on work. 5. The denial of the desire to talk so as to help others work. 6. The delay from the desire to speak to cooperate during group work. 7. Assignments totally dictated by the instructor. 8. The denial of comfort to one's body (sitting upright on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (versus. Clutter, toys available, etc.). 10. A day scheduled in to definite, fixed time slots with limited time in between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech as well as behavior, should, by the teenage years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] on to Christ (Gal. 3:twenty-four ); not only in the sense of Salvation secured, but visiting Jesus Christ for assist with self-discipline. Correction from his parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ in order to save him from eternal death in Hell. Prov. 23 :13,14 Later within the teenage years, he has recognized that outward control (nevertheless some barriers and discipline, but much more guidance) combined with his own emerging self-discipline still fails to keep his skin under control. He must eventually notice that by himself he cannot "hang on" and do right - especially in regard to emotions and sexual wishes. He is coming to the knowledge of for I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but wait, how to perform that which is good we find not. Romans seven :18 Trust in his parents to assist "keep" him controlled in speech, thoughts, and measures must now be directed toward one who is able to help from within their heart. If, having achieved this during the teenage many years, he can now say i can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter personally, and a strong tower from the enemy. Psalms 61:3 The LORD is my personal strength and my shield ; my heart trusted in him, and I am assisted : therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my tune will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he once trusted in his parents, a teenager should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am along with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yes,I will uphold thee with the right hand of my personal righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all [his] heart; and [must not] lean not on to [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a mother or father, you are his guide, their protector (from the world, his flesh, and the devil), and his external barrier to that which he desires to do that would develop poor habits as well as, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a child generally lives for today as a slave to their flesh. Parents must constantly be alert for possibilities to direct the mind toward a structured, Biblically-based, inner control of thoughts, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from a knowledge of sin. I would have you wise unto that which is nice, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your son or daughter from excessive thoughts about or even interest in the things of this world. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country through whence they came out, they might

have had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all diligence ; for out of it are the problems of life. Prov. Four :23 "Keeping" a kid's heart is the parents' responsibility ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized ideas when they reflect wishes of the flesh. For as he thinketh in his heart, same with he. Prov. Twenty three :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application of self-discipline. Deut. 6:6,7 Is. 30:twenty,21 5. Point out good examples leading to success and failure - from the bible and from life. Now all these things happened on to them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends around the globe are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 kings 1:5,6 idol judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - thinking, reasoning; and memorization associated with verses, facts from topics, poems, songs, etc. Your son or daughter's education should always have a measure of difficulty. Fun in education has its place, but persistent work should be the main exercise. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good education, by necessity, will involve turmoil with the fleshly nature of the child. 2. Train your child to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time instruction him to be cautious about selecting people to follow (strangers, and so on.). Obey them that have the rule over you, as well as submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your foe the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant attitude in all things. Work as diligently on attitude as you perform on the training of physical discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents and princes, because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent barriers to unwanted actions. NEed desired actions when informed the first time! It is poor training to allow your child the "enjoyable sin" of delayed behavior training (calling several times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repetitive infractions and encouragement for success (without inflating selfesteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate in the Biblical basis for physical self-discipline and teach the practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is actually short, and the times are evil! Ep. 5 :16 You have a brief opportunity (which is sharply reduced in the arrival of the teenage many years ) to instill the mental "operating system" that will guide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "appreciate " the antics of a kid with little selfdiscipline. Should you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," you and he will pay a dear price - a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a young child is not an adult, nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but years as a child is the time to train the future grownup. View all training because preparation for future support for the Lord. Train a

child to become a useful servant of the Lord- strong in faith and in character! This is the parents' responsibility, and is not to be assigned to the church or a christian school. Homeschool parents have a great advantage in character creating, but many, due to weariness or even perceived inability, are neglecting character building while focusing on child-centered academics. It will be difficult to place a barrier around your child's fleshly nature. Each child will be different; many will put up more of a "battle " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do are, perhaps, being prepared for any more difficult life of service for the Lord. Do not fail these types of children in their preparation by using excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be set by the "trainers." While you might need to let down your guard and indulge in poor character, always remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me, even as I also am associated with Christ. 1 Cor. 11 :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition of teaching and consistency in correction and discipline. Train up a child in the way he should go : and when he is old, he'll not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the actual rewards of careful work to character building are great ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 it is possible to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build a good inner restraint against the desires of the flesh - by giving consistent outer restraints as well as expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the Lord (which greatly reinforces inner restraint); and to train to obey as viewing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me : I will teach you the fear from the LORD. Ps. 34:11 The fear of the LORD may be the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for strength and direction (recognizing that help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 o LORD, I know that the clear way of man is not in themself : it is not in man that walketh to direct their steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To be accountable for the use of time. 1 Peter 4:2 2. To learn to wait to speak. James one :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. 1 Thes. 2:4 4. To learn to weigh thoughts very carefully before speaking. Ps. Thirty four :13 Prov. 13:3 ; 21:23 5. To be able to perform unpleasant tasks without stress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure difficult trials. James 1:2,3 8. To learn to perform uncomfortable habits. 9. To have physical self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :27 10. To keep thyself real. 1 Tim. 2:22 Phil 4:8

11. To keep rule over his own nature (emotions). Prov. 25:28 12. To complete a project through inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To refuse the lust of the skin (unavailable/wrong material or bodily desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to become content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to utilize no expectation of instant reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to an additional rather than to seek one's own will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set before him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To rely upon the LORD with all thine heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To refuse feelings and choose to do what is right. 1 Kings 18 :21 20. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. One Cor.8:13 21. To build up mental discipline (Disciplined thoughts Disciplined body). Two Cor. 10:5 22. To keep in work despite individual physical rebellion. Lam. Three :27 23. To be a servant rather than a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's personal name and family name (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and self-discipline with a good attitude. Prov. 3 :11; 15:10 27. To cooperate with the needs associated with others - to concede his needs for the benefit of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly value system that directs daily decisions. Gen. 24:thirty-three Col. 3:2 29. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. 1 Peter 2:18 30. To build up a mental alertness. 1 Peter 5:8 31. In order to refuse negative peer pressure. Ex. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers associated with me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, full of Israel; To know wisdom and instruction; to see the words of understanding; to receive the instruction of knowledge, justice, and judgment, as well as equity; To give subtilty towards the simple, to the young man understanding and discretion. Prov. One :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the manner he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Prov. Twenty two :6 Because sentence against an evil work is not really executed speedily, therefore the coronary heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. Ec. 8:11 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of those things, though ye know them, and be established in our truth. Yea, I think it fulfill, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you in remembrance. 2 Peter 1 :12,13 Implementing Goals For every goal that you desire to be satisfied in your child, make a specific, long-range plan to see your goal accomplished. Follow the design of: EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING. SAMPLE: Goal #1: self-discipline is needed to be accountable for using time.

Example: Be conscious of time in your own life. Display a concern for your own use of period. Be on time to church, appointments, class, etc. Don't waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to become done without stopping to experience or to talk to others. Expect schoolwork to be done without wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, etc.) As your children get older (of sufficient age to easily tell the time and own a watch), expect these phones be ready for church on time (without having to be told), get up on time (with the use of an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the actual table prior to an hired time, be in from outside perform at a certain time, and so on. Teach your child the value of your time - how to use it wisely, how to plan ahead, and how to work to meet deadlines and agendas (long and short-range). Have him memorize verses having to do with time, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, unfaithfulness, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen ) Training: Discipline in some manner when a responsibility to a certain time is avoided, overlooked, or forgotten. Let your child know that excuses such as "i forgot" will not be accepted! discipline for wasted time when he is expected to be working (set time aside from free/recess time, and so on.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical self-discipline, when necessary. He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he or she that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn blessing due to a failure in the responsibility to do that which was taught. Whenever self-discipline fails, the old character will be reinforced/encouragedbecause the pleasures of sin were allowed without any unpleasant consequences. If unpleasant consequences are not arranged by parents now, the unpleasant consequences will come once the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those unfortunate things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not immediately discovered by a parent). Attributed to God, we would also refer to this as "learning the hard way-by experience." Being assured of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good are employed in you will perform it before day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. Two :13 Jeremiah 29