The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children

The Young Child is constantly withheld from many of his desires by physical restrictions. We use baby entrance, fences, locks on doors and cabinets (restricted places ), cribs, playpens, leashes, as well as brief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the young child; monitoring what he sees, where he will go, and with whom he associates. These barriers are primarily for the purpose of protecting the child from himself - from his own desire to seek his own will prior to an age whenever he has knowledge, self-discipline, anxiety when the Lord, or help from the Holy Spirit to avoid that which is harmful to him. The School-Age Child is still in bondage under the elements of the world. Gal. 4:3 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. Prov. 22 :15a Having foolishness in the heart, he is likely to behave the part of a fool - a fool hath no enjoy understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he constantly desires to venture into the "department store" of the flesh. NOthing is more dangerous than permitting a child to "discover himself " at this age. The coronary heart is deceitful above all points, and desperately wicked: who are able to know it? Jer. 17 :9 Being at the beginning of their "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless at controlling his own desires; and also the fleshly nature is thought to be a fascinating friend rather than seen to contain no good thing. Rom. 7:eighteen As a parent, you must safeguard him from his own most detrimental enemy - his flesh, and two other predatory enemies -- the world and the devil. Childhood is the time to train your child in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As a parent, you must become an external boundary that restricts the fleshly nature of the kid until the time that he has built inner boundaries and has internal help from the Lord. The outside obstacles must remain well beyond the crib-stage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the speech and actions (which arise from the thoughts). As a child gets older, curiosity about the external world and his body's wishes increases, and the pull from the inner fleshly nature becomes more demanding. There is each and every indication in the Bible which God expects total psychological (2 Cor. 10:5 ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the kind of discipline that leads one to existing his body as a residing sacrifice (Rom. 12:1 ) and to take a determined stand for Jesus Christ (as did Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in many Christian schools the disadvantages (peer influence, poor self-discipline, poor spiritual environment, etc.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are the ones that greatly help to construct mental and physical selfdiscipline, and should end up being seriously considered by homeschool parents. Self-discipline in a school is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to deliver books, homework, long-term projects, etc. To school complete as well as on time. 2. The hold off of the physical gratification/needs associated with walking about, bathroom break, water, etc. 3. The delay of the physical satisfaction of eating (only at lunch).

4. The denial of the desire to speak so as to concentrate on work. 5. The denial of the desire to talk so as to help others function. 6. The delay of the desire to speak to cooperate throughout group work. 7. Projects totally dictated by the teacher. 8. The denial of comfort to one's body (sitting up on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (vs. Clutter, toys available, etc.). 10. A day scheduled in to definite, fixed time slot machines with limited time in between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech and behavior, should, by the teenage years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] on to Christ (Gal. 3:twenty-four ); not only in the sense of Salvation secured, but coming to Jesus Christ for help with self-discipline. Correction from his parents has, by this time, trained him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ to save him from eternal passing away in Hell. Prov. 23 :13,14 Later in the teenage years, he has realized that outward control (still some barriers and self-discipline, but much more guidance) coupled with his own emerging self-discipline still fails to keep his skin under control. He must eventually notice that by himself he cannot "hang on" and do correct - especially in regard in order to emotions and sexual wishes. He is coming to the understanding of for I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for in order to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good i find not. Romans 7 :18 Trust in his parents to assist "keep" him controlled in speech, thoughts, and actions must now be directed toward one who is able to help from within their heart. If, having accomplished this during the teenage years, he can now say i will do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter personally, and a strong tower from the enemy. Psalms 61:3 The LORD is my personal strength and my protect ; my heart trusted in him, and I am assisted : therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he as soon as trusted in his parents, an adolescent should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am along with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yes, I will help thee; yes,I will uphold thee with the right hand of my personal righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all of [his] heart; and [must not] lean not unto [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a mother or father, you are his guide, their protector (from the world, their flesh, and the devil), and his external barrier to that that he desires to do that might develop poor habits and, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a young child generally lives for today as a slave to their flesh. Parents must constantly be alert for possibilities to direct the mind toward a structured, Biblically-based, inner control of thoughts, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from an understanding of sin. I maybe have you wise unto that which is nice, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your son or daughter from excessive thoughts about or interest in the things of this world. And truly, if they have been mindful of that country through whence they came out, they might

have had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all persistance ; for out of it are the issues of life. Prov. 4 :23 "Keeping" a child's heart is the parents' responsibility ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized thoughts when they reflect desires of the flesh. For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Prov. Twenty three :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application associated with self-discipline. Deut. 6:six,7 Is. 30:twenty,21 5. Point out examples leading to success as well as failure - from the holy bible and from life. Now all these things happened on to them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 nobleman 1:5,6 idol judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - thinking, reasoning; and memorization associated with verses, facts from topics, poems, songs, etc. Your son or daughter's education should always have a measure of difficulty. Fun in training has its place, but diligent work should be the main activity. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier associated with Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good education, by necessity, will involve turmoil with the fleshly nature of the child. 2. Train your son or daughter to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time instruction him to be cautious about selecting people to follow (strangers, and so on.). Obey them that have the actual rule over you, as well as submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, looking for whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant mindset in all things. Work as diligently on attitude as you perform on the training of physical discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents and princes, simply because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent barriers to unwanted actions. NEed desired actions when told the first time! It is poor training to allow your child the "pleasurable sin" of delayed behavior training (calling several times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repeated infractions and encouragement for achievement (without inflating self-esteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate within the Biblical basis for physical self-discipline and teach the practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is short, and the days are evil! Ep. Five :16 You have a brief chance (which is sharply reduced at the arrival of the teenage many years ) to instill the mental "operating system" that will guide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "appreciate " the antics of a kid with little selfdiscipline. If you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," a person and he will pay a expensive price - a kid left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a child is not an adult, nor can he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but years as a child is the time to

train the future grownup. View all training because preparation for future support for the Lord. Train a child to become a useful servant of the Lord- strong in belief and in character! This is the parents' responsibility, and is not to be delegated to the church or a religious school. Homeschool parents possess a great advantage in character creating, but many, due to weariness or even perceived inability, are neglecting character building while focusing on child-centered academics. It will be difficult to place a barrier around your child's fleshly character. Each child will be different; many will put up more of a "battle " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do are, perhaps, being prepared for a more difficult life of service for that Lord. Do not fail these types of children in their preparation by using excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be set by the "trainers." While you might need to let down your guard as well as indulge in poor character, remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11 :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition training and consistency in modification and discipline. Train up a child in the way he should go : and when he is old, he'll not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the rewards of careful attendance to character building are great ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 you'll be able to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build an inner restraint against the wishes of the flesh - by giving consistent outer restraints and expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the Lord (which greatly reinforces inner restraint); and to teach to obey as viewing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me personally : I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total believe in in the Lord for strength and direction (recognizing which help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not really unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 o LORD, I know that the clear way of man is not in himself : it is not in man which walketh to direct his steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To become accountable for the use of time. One Peter 4:2 2. To learn to wait to speak. James 1 :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. 1 Thes. 2:4 4. To understand to weigh thoughts carefully before speaking. Ps. 34 :13 Prov. 13:3 ; 21:23 5. To be able to carry out unpleasant tasks without stress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind in order to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure hard trials. James 1:2,3 8. To learn to perform uncomfortable habits. 9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :27

10. To keep thyself pure. 1 Tim. 2:twenty two Phil 4:8 11. To maintain rule over his own spirit (emotions). Prov. 25:28 12. To complete a project from inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To refuse the lust of the flesh (unavailable/wrong material or physical desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to become content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to work with no expectation of immediate reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to another rather than to seek one's own will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set before him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To rely upon the LORD with all thine heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To refuse feelings and choose to do what is right. 1 Kings 18 :21 20. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. One Cor.8:13 21. To develop mental discipline (Disciplined mind Disciplined body). 2 Cor. 10:5 22. To keep in work despite individual physical rebellion. Lam. 3 :27 23. To be a servant instead of a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's personal name and family title (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and discipline with a good attitude. Prov. 3 :11; 15:10 27. To cooperate with the needs of others - to concede his needs for the advantage of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly value system that directs every day decisions. Gen. 24:thirty-three Col. 3:2 29. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. One Peter 2:18 30. To develop a mental alertness. 1 Peter 5:8 31. To be able to refuse negative peer pressure. Former mate. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers associated with me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, full of Israel; To know knowledge and instruction; to see the words of understanding; to get the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man understanding and discretion. Prov. 1 :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the manner he should go: and when he's old, he will not depart from it. Prov. 22 :6 Because sentence towards an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the coronary heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. Ec. 8:eleven Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to place you always in remembrance of those things, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth. Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you in remembrance. 2 Peter one :12,13 Implementing Goals For each goal that you desire to be fulfilled in your child, make a particular, long-range plan to see your objective accomplished. Follow the pattern of: EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING.

SAMPLE: Goal #1: self-discipline is needed to be accountable for using time. Example: Be alert to time in your own life. Show a concern for your own use of period. Be on time to church, appointments, class, etc. Don't waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to become done without stopping to play or to talk to others. Anticipate schoolwork to be done with out wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, and so on.) As your children get older (of sufficient age to easily tell the time as well as own a watch), expect them to be ready for church on time (without having to be told), get up on time (by using an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the actual table prior to an hired time, be in from outside perform at a certain time, etc. Teach your child the value of time how to use it sensibly, how to plan ahead, and how to work to meet deadlines and schedules (long and short-range). Get him to memorize verses having to do with period, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, disloyality, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:14 ) Training: Discipline in some way when a responsibility to a particular time is avoided, overlooked, or forgotten. Let your child know that excuses such as "i forgot" will not be accepted! self-discipline for wasted time whenever he is expected to be working (set time aside from free/recess time, etc.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical self-discipline, when necessary. He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is sure in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall generate it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn benefit due to a failure in the obligation to do that which was taught. When self-discipline fails, the old nature will be reinforced/encouraged-because the pleasures of sin were allowed without any unpleasant consequences. In the event that unpleasant consequences are not organized by parents now, the unpleasant consequences will come once the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those regrettable things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not immediately discovered by a parent). Attributed to God, we would also make reference to this as "learning the hard way-by experience." Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it before day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. Phil. 2 :13 Jeremiah 29