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PRECIS
PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMME

PUBLISHED BY AEC TRAINING COLLEGE AND CENTRE PACHMARHI (MP)

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PREFACE I. This precis has been specifically designed to meet the professional requirements of the PDP Course. 2. A thorough knowledge of these subjects is of vital importance for a trainee for making his personalities effective. Well trained and dedicated instructors alone will be able to disseminate the professional ethos they have imbibed, for this they must be equipped with the knowledge and this precis is an attempt in that direction. 3. Every trainee is expected to acquire certain personal qualities along with the awareness of what is expected of him professionally. In this regard, this precis has tried to enhance his pragmatic experience & knowledge through a critical analysis which is really thought provoking. 4. This precis includes many new features on personality development which will be found useful. The quality of content reflects the dedication and hard work put in by the department of HRD. The content has been made simple & user friendly to derive maximum benefits. 5. Suggestions for improvement of the precis will be greatly appreciated.

CHIEF INSTRUCTOR

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PSYCHOLOGICAL INPUT-PDP CONTENTS Chapter I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII Topic From Johari window of group dynamics and interpersonal relationship Rational Emotive Behaviour Theory Assertiveness Personality Communication Skills Emotional Intelligence Positive thinking Anger Management Stress Management Leadership Leadership Principles Leadership Traits Leadership Case Studies (a) Bulandi Ki Ore (b) A Stitch in time saves nine (c) Problem Solving (Naya Command) (d) Lord Jim (e) Alpathar secured (f) Tryst with fidayeen 04 16 24 34 36 42 53 62 67 104 108 114 121 Page To 15 23 33 35 41 52 61 66 103 107 113 120 137

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CHAPTER - I THE JOHARI WINDOW OF GROUP DYNAMICS AND INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP Introduction 1. The Johari Window model is a simple and useful tool for illustrating and improving self-awareness, and mutual understanding between individuals within a group. The Johari Window tool can also be used to assess and improve a group's relationship with other groups. The Johari Window model was developed by American psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in the 1950's, while researching group dynamics. Today the Johari Window model is especially relevant due to modern emphasis on, and influence of, 'soft' skills, behaviour, empathy, cooperation, inter-group development and interpersonal development. 2. Over the years, alternative Johari Window terminology has been developed and adapted by other people - particularly leading to different descriptions of the four regions, hence the use of different terms in this explanation. 3. Luft and Ingham called their Johari Window model 'Johari' after combining their first names, Joe and Harry. In early publications the word actually appears as 'Johari'. The Johari Window soon became a widely used model for understanding and training self-awareness, personal development, improving communications, interpersonal relationships, group dynamics, team development and inter-group relationships. 4. The Johari Window model is also referred to as a 'disclosure/feedback model of self awareness and by some people an 'information processing tool'. The Johari Window actually represents information - feelings, experience, views, attitudes, skills, intentions, motivation, etc - within or about a person - in relation to their group, from four perspectives, which are described below. The Johari Window model can also be used to represent the same information for a group in relation to other groups. Johari Window terminology refers to 'self' and 'others': 'self' means oneself, i.e., the person subject to the Johari Window analysis. 'Others' mean other people in the person's group or team. 5. Johari windows four region.

(a) what is known by the person about him/herself and is also known by others open area, open self, free area, free self, or 'the arena'. (b) what is unknown by the person about him/herself but which others know - blind area, blind self, or 'blind spot'. (c) what the person knows about him/herself that others do not know - hidden area, hidden self, avoided area, avoided self or 'facade'. (d) What is unknown by the person about him/herself and is also unknown by others - unknown area or unknown self. RESTRICTED

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(e) The Johari window is as shown in fig.1 Johari WINDOW Known to Others Known to Self OPEN Not Known to Self Blind

Not Known to Others

HIDDEN Fig.1

UNKNOWN

6.

Principles of Change within the Johari Window are as follows :-

(a) A change in any one quadrant will affect all other quadrants. (b) It takes energy to hide, deny, or to be blind to behaviour which is involved in interaction. (c) Threat tends to decrease awareness; mutual trust tends to increase awareness. (d) Forced awareness (exposure) is undesirable and usually ineffective. (e) Interpersonal learning means a change has taken place so that Quadrant I is larger, and one or more of the other quadrants has grown smaller. (f) Working with others is facilitated by large enough areas of free activity. This means more of the resources and skills in the membership can be applied to the task at hand. (g) The smaller the first quadrant, the poorer the communication. (h) There is universal curiosity about the unknown area; but this is held in check by custom, social training, and by diverse fears. (j) Sensitivity means appreciating the covert aspects of behaviour, in Quadrants II. III. IV. and respecting the desire of others to keep them so. (k) Learning about group processes, as they are experienced, helps to increase awareness (larger Quadrant I) for the group as a whole as well as for individual members. (l) The value system of a group and its membership may be noted in the way unknown in the life of the group are confronted.

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(m) A centipede may be perfectly happy without awareness, but after all, he restricts himself to crawling under rocks.

THE FOUR REGIONS Johari Quadrant 4- Unknown self or area or unknown activity or unknown area. 7. Johari region 4 contains information, feelings, latent abilities, aptitudes, experiences etc, that area unknown to the person him/her self and unknown to others in the group. These unknown issues take a variety of forms : they can be feelings, behaviours, attitudes, capabilities, aptitudes, which can be quite close to the surface, and which can be positive and useful, or they can be deeper aspects of a persons personality, influencing his/her behaviour to various degrees. Large unknown areas would typically be expected in younger people, and people who lack experience or self belief. 8. Examples of unknown factors are as follows, and the first example is particularly relevant and common, especially in typical organizations and teams. (a) An ability that is under estimated or un-tried through lack of opportunity, encouragement, confidence or training. (b) A natural ability or aptitude that a person doesnt realize they possess. (c) An unknown illness. (d) Conditioned behaviour or attitudes from childhood. 9. "Unknown" window pane is what you and others just do not know about your influence and leadership. The Open is small in leadership and group relationship (as shown in fig 2) OPEN BLIND

HIDDEN

UNKNOWN

Figure 2: Large Black Window Pane 10. You do not communicate much to be able to influence anyone else. You have much to discover. You have unknown potential that you have yet to explore. You have yet to put yourself out there to reduce your Hidden, or make it OK for others to give you feedback to reduce your Blind spots. Perhaps you just do not want to know RESTRICTED

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the unknown you. And perhaps you do not put yourself out there by disclosing your personal story, your journey through life, the trials and successes that have made you. So others do not know you, they have to access to your personal story. You stay hidden. You are as unknown to them. All is black to you and to them. If you never take in feedback your dark side expands and you never learn about your unknown. And there is a loss of your wisdom to humanity. 11. Again as with disclosure and soliciting feedback, the process of self discovery is a sensitive one. The extent and depth to which an individual is able to seek out and discover their unknown feelings must always be at the individuals own discretion. Some people are more keen and able than others to do this. Reducing the unknown area 12. The processes by which this information and knowledge can be uncovered are various, and can be prompted through self-discovery or observation by other, or in certain situations through collective or mutual discovery, of the sort of discovery experienced on outward bound courses or other deep or intensive group work. Counselling can also uncover unknown issues, but this would then be known to the person and by one other, rather than by a group. 13. Whether unknown discovered knowledge moves into the hidden, blind or open area depends on who discovers it and what they do with the knowledge, notable whether it is then given as feedback, or disclosed. As with the processes of soliciting feedback and disclosure, striving to discover information and feelings in the unknown, is related to the process of self-actualization described in Maslows hierarchy of needs development and motivation model. 14. A note of caution about Johari region 4 , The unknown area could also include repressed or subconscious feelings rooted in formative events and traumatic past which stay unknown for life time. In a work or organizational context the Johari window should not be used to address issues of a clinical nature. Johari Quadrant 3 Hidden self or hidden area or avoided self / area or faade 15. Johari region 3 is what is known to ourselves but kept hidden from, and therefore unknown, to others (as shown in fig 3). This hidden or avoided self represents information, feelings, etc, anything that a person knows about him/self, but which is not revealed or is kept hidden from others. The hidden area could also include sensitivities, fears, hidden agendas, manipulative intentions, secrets anything that a person knows but does not reveal, for whatever reason. Its natural for very personal and private information and feelings to remain hidden indeed, certain information, feelings and experiences have no bearing on work, and so can and should remain hidden. However, typically, a lot of hidden information is not very personal, it is work-or performancerelated, and so is better positioned in the open area. 16. Relevant hidden information and feelings, etc, should be moved into the open area through the process of disclosure. The aim should be to disclose and expose relevant information and feeling hence the Johari Window terminologyself-disclosure and exposure processes, thereby increasing the open area. By telling others how we feel RESTRICTED

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and other information about ourselves we reduce the hidden area, and increase the open area, which enables better understanding, cooperation, trust, team-work effectiveness and productivity. Reducing hidden areas also reduces the potential for confusion, misunderstanding, poor communication, etc, which all distract from and undermine team effectiveness.

OPEN

BLIND

HIDDEN

UNKNOWN

Figure 3: Large Red Window Pane 17. "Hidden" spot is known to you, but you do not allow yourself to be known by others around you (Hidden is also known as the "Facade"). You keep others at a distance by having your secrets, by hiding the real and wondrous you. There are so many Hidden (invisible) people who cannot be listed. You know who you are. Your voice is silent in public. You only take the popular stand. You applaud the majority. You try not to be noticed. Or, if you speak, it is not you that speak, but some imitation of a person that you expect others want to see before them. The facade can be quite verbal, and really out there, but it is a false person that speaks. It is good to protect our inner child from harm. There are people who have hurt you. You have withdrawn to a safe place. But, since the real you is not doing the influence, your personal leadership power is not as great as it might be. You know this to be true. You feel trapped, but what can you do? You know the answer is to take the plunge, and just be yourself. There is always the risk that you might share some personal failure and violate some mega social norm that says you are now an unworthy person. 18. Kelly and McKillop (1996: 450) believe that self-disclosure of personal secrets has its dangers. If you give away your secrets, are you giving others power over you? Actually it is the secret that gives others power over you. The secrets become your personal prison. When it is not a secret, their power over you vanishes. It takes mass quantities of mental energy to maintain secrets. You end up using all your personal power to keep the Red zone big, and Green never happens. 19. Organizational culture and working atmosphere have a major influence on group members preparedness to disclose their hidden selves. Most people fear judgment or vulnerability and therefore hold back hidden information and feelings, etc, that if moved into the open area, i.e. known by the group as well, would enhance mutual understanding, and thereby improve group awareness, enabling better individual performance and group effectiveness. 20. The extent to which an individual discloses personal feelings and information, and the issue which are disclosed, and to whom, must always be at the individuals own RESTRICTED

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discretion. Some people are more keen and able than others to disclose. People should disclose at a pace and depth that they find personally comfortable. As with feedback, some people are more resilient than others care needs to be taken to avoid causing emotional upset. Also as with soliciting feedback, the process of serious disclosure relates to the process of self actualization described in Maslows Hierarchy of needs development and motivation model.

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Johari Quadrant 2 Blind Self Or Blind Area Or Blind spot 21. Johari region 2 is what is known about a person by others in the group, but is unknown by the person him/herself. The "blind" quadrant represents things that you know about me, but that I am unaware of. So, for example, we could be eating at a restaurant, and I may have unknowingly gotten some food on my face. This information is in my blind quadrant because you can see it, but I cannot. If you now tell me that I have something on my face, then the window shade moves to the right, enlarging the open quadrant's area. Now, I may also have blind spots with respect to many other much more complex things. For example, perhaps in our ongoing conversation, you may notice that eye contact seems to be lacking. You may not say anything, since you may not want to embarrass me, or you may draw your own inferences that perhaps I am being insincere. Reduce the unknown area 22. It is through authentic feedback with a buddy, that you come to know your blind (Yellow) side of yourself. Have you seen the child that covers their eyes and thinks they are invisible to the world; that no one can see them? Who is blind? Others do see them, and see right through whatever facade they enact. Figure 4 is someone with a large blind area, as they act out a Facade that is not the Open self that is caged within that facade. A buddy can help expand the Green, and lessen the person's Blind (from self), by giving authentic feedback about how you influence the world around you, and mostly how you influence your buddy. By seeking or soliciting feedback from others, the aim should be to reduce this area and thereby to increase the open area (see the Johari Window diagram below), i.e., to increase self-awareness. This blind area is not an effective or productive space for individuals or groups. This blind area could also be referred to as ignorance about oneself, or issues in which one is deluded. A blind area could also include issues that others are deliberately withholding from a person. We all know how difficult it is to work well when kept in the dark. No-one works well when subject to mushroom management. People who are thick-skinned tend to have a large blind area. 23. Group members and managers can take some responsibility for helping an individual to reduce their blind area in turn increasing the open area by giving sensitive feedback and encouraging disclosure. Managers should promote a climate of non judgmental feedback, and group response to individual disclosure, which reduces fear and therefore encourages both processes to happen. The extent to which an individual seeks feedback, and the issue on which feedback is sought, must always be at the individuals own discretion. Some people are more resilient than others- care needs to be taken to avoid causing emotional upset. OPEN BLIND

HIDDEN

UNKNOWN Figure 4: Large Yellow Window Pane RESTRICTED

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Johari quadrant 1 open self / area or free area or public area, or arena 24. Johari region 1 is also known as the area of free activity. This is the information about the person behaviour, attitude, feelings, emotion, knowledge, experience, skills, views, etc known by the person (the self) and known by the group (others). 25. The aim in any group should always be to develop the open area for every person, because when we work in this area with others we are at our most effective and productive and the group is at its most productive too. The open free area or the arena can be seen as the space where good communications and cooperation occur, free from distractions, mistrust, confusion, conflict and misunderstanding. 26. Established team members logically tend to have larger open areas than new team members. New team members start with relatively small open areas because relatively little knowledge about the new team member is shared. The size of the open area can be expanded horizontally into the blind space, by seeking and actively listening to feedback from other group members. This process is known as feedback solicitation. Also, other group members can help a team member expand their open area by offering feedback, sensitively of course. 27. The size of the open area can also be expanded vertically downwards into the hidden or avoided space by the persons disclosure of information feelings, etc about him/ her self to the group and group members (as shown in fig.5). 28. Also, group members can help a person expand their open area into the hidden area by asking the person about him/her self. Managers and team leaders can play an important role in facilitating feedback and disclosure among group members, and in directly giving feedback to individuals about their own blind areas. 29. Leaders also have a big responsibility to promote a culture and expectation for open, honest, positive, helpful, constructive, sensitive communications, and the sharing of knowledge throughout their organization. Top performing groups, departments, companies and organizations always tend to have a culture of open positive communication, so encouraging the positive development of the open area or open self for everyone is a simple yet fundamental aspect of effective leadership. OPEN ---> Ask for Feedback | | \/ Disclose and Tell about Self in Public HIDDEN

BLIND

UNKNOWN

Figure 5: Large open window Pane 30. The size of the open window can be increased by following certain methods of social skills.

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SOCIAL SKILLS 31. In Johari window, for the open quadrant to be large one should have certain social skills for personal as well as professional growth. 32. Research tells us that in not social interaction, whether personal or professional, some of the qualities that contribute to making a good first impression are. 33. Remembering Names. Requires you hear the name properly in the first place. Ask for it to be repeated if necessary. Associate it with some real or imaginary feature of the owners appearance or behaviour (Mr. Turner turns out his toes). Make an exaggerated visual image of this feature and hold it in the mind for a moment. Use the name as often as possible in conversation. Remind yourself of it several times afterwards. 34. Holding ones Own in a Conversation. Depends upon having something to say. Research shows that people who talk easily (professional and socially) dont censor as vigorously their thoughts before speaking as do the tongue-tied. Few of us are short of thoughts. Be ready to give voice to them instead of automatically dismissing them as likely to be boring or irrelevant of facile. 35. Self-disclosure. Should never be overdone in a professional relationship. The things you say could be held or used against you. But a readiness to say appropriate things about ourselves often encourages other people to open up too. And to feel they know and understand us better. 36. Praise and Encouragement. Help people feel positive about themselves. Without being fulsome, theres usually something nice to say, for example appreciation of how the other person looks, or of their punctuality or of their accomplishments. Even Nice to see you again or Thanks for comings/ help establish the relationship. 37. Agreement gives a sense of friendship and common ground. Contrived and artificial agreement is rarely advisable, but most encounters start with some small talk about the weather or the swift passage of time or the state talk about the weather or the swift passage of time or the state of the roads. Agreement over the sentiments expressed during this small talk helps prepare the atmosphere for weightier matters. Later in the conversation, agreement has more to do with seeing the other persons point of view, of acknowledging their difficulties, of recognizing joint aims and objectives. 38. Effective relationships. Other research studies suggest that long term popularity goes with fairness, consistency, loyalty, honesty, a sense of humor, warmth, sympathy, and openness. The professional does not of course set out primarily to be popular, but to be effective and helpful. Nevertheless, these eight qualities are all likely to contribute towards successful professional behaviour. More specific studies into the role of professionals in caring professions such as nursing, social work and general medical practice, suggest that those who have good relationships with clients also:(a) (b) Convey a respect for them and show an ability to listen. Put them at ease but avoid emotional over-involvement.

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(c) (d) (e)

Clarify the help that can and cannot be given. Accept justifiable criticism. Avoid undue exercise of professional power.

(f) We most of us like to be noticed .If people act as if we are not there, this suggests we are of no significance. So smile a word or two of greeting when we see a colleague reassures him or her that they matter. Sailing past them without a nod or a waive indicates to them we view their importance roughly on a par with office furniture. By verbal appreciation for their contributions to professional life. Thank you doesnt require much effort to say. 39. The good manager, the good teacher, the good social worker is the person who' can recognize and satisfy needs in others. In return, they receive maximum cooperation and loyalty from workforce, children, clients or whoever. Some needs are highly personal, but many are sufficiently general to be readily identified. For most people they include such things as the need for: (a) Appreciation - the recognition and valuation by others of our efforts abilities. and

(b) Significance - closely related to appreciation, this is the sense that we matter as people. (c) Power - related to significance, people need the power to affect decision making in key areas of their lives. (d) Usefulness - related to significance, individuals need skills and abilities that are of use to the community. (e) Acceptance - acceptance by others of who and what we are, rather than constant criticism. (f) Understanding - sympathy and understanding from others concerning our problems. (g) Direction - clear guidance when we require it. (h) Space - a necessary minimum of personal freedom and privacy. (j) Leisure - free time and the relaxation that goes with it.

(k) Companionship - friends and acquaintances with whom we can talk and share interests. (l) Stimulation - an element of variety and distraction in our lives.

(m) Progress - a sense of advance and achievement, or of working towards some identifiable goal. (n) Coherence and pattern - some consistency, structure and meaning in life. RESTRICTED

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(o) Happiness - positive emotions and a sense of being in harmony with ourselves and the world. 40. Self reflection. The questions are simply there to help self-reflection which is helpful to move to the open quadrant. The first set is' related to the general ability to get on with others. (a) Am I socially successful? A useful yardstick here is whether people are usually pleased to see me and vice versa, or whether there are people who I consistently try to avoid or: who consistently try to avoid .me. (b) With what kind of people do I get on well? Do I. relate well to most people or only to particular kinds? Do I relate best to people who are like me or unlike me, to equals or only to my seniors or juniors? To both sexes or only to one? (c) With what kind of people don't I get along well? Is there a particular kind of person with whom I'm usually at odds? What is it about them that make things difficult? Is it negative qualities in them, or do they in some way make me feel inadequate? (d) What, is it that prevents me from relating well to some people? Do I make an effort to get along with someone I dislike, or do I prefer not to bother? (e) Are there people who actively dislike me? If so, who are they? Clients? Juniors? Colleagues? Why do they dislike me? Are they justified or simply being oversensitive? Does their dislike bother me? Along (f) Are there people in my life who really understand me? Understand my aims in life and why I'm the way I am? Understand. my bad points as well as my good points. (g) Are there people in my life who really accept me? If they can't accept me, why is this? (h) Have I particular 'ways of behaving, or mannerisms, which others dislike? If so, how important are these things to me? Are they worth the dislike of other people? Can I change them? (j) Am I moody? Do people find me unpredictable and inconsistent? Do I carry problems from my private life into my professional life, and vice versa? (k) Are there people in my life with whom I'm really close? Am I close only to my family? Have I personal friends? Professional friends? If I'm close to no one, why is this? (l) Am I prepared to learn from others? Do I feel I'm usually the one who's in the right, or can I look objectively at issues? Can I acknowledge when I'm wrong? Can I accept it when people tell me unwelcome things about myself? Can I compromise? (m) Can I forgive people? If I can't, why not? Do I secretly enjoy my resentment? Or the feeling I'm punishing the other person? RESTRICTED

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(n) Do I lose my temper easily with others? Anger may sometimes be justified, but does anger always require loss of temper? Does losing my temper help? How do I feel about it afterwards? (o) Do I always look for ulterior motives behind other people's behaviour? Do I prejudge or do I try to be objective? (p) Finally, if I had to choose a best friend, would I choose me? 42. The next set of questions relates more specifically to professional life :(a) Am I fair to the people over whom I have power or responsibility? Would I like to work under myself? If not, do I expect too much from others? Do I secretly enjoy making their lives difficult? (b) Do I often feel put down by colleagues? Do I feel other people are given professional advantages over me? Promoted above my head? Do I get the blame when it belongs to others? (c) Am I nervous when meeting clients or senior colleagues for the first time? If so, what am I afraid of? Do I lack confidence in my professional abilities? (d) If I experience professional failure or embarrassment, can I talk it over with colleagues and friends? Or do I avoid discussing it through embarrassment? Or because discussing it makes me feel inadequate? Or because there's no one I trust? (e) If differences arise with clients or colleagues, do I try and resolve them there and then? Or do I prefer to escape from conflict as soon as possible? (f) When clients or colleagues want me to spare time for them above the call of duty, do I usually manage it? Or do I make excuses? Or make vague appointments I probably won't keep? (g) If I fall out with someone in professional life, do I behave coldly to them or avoid them as much as possible afterwards? Or do I try to behave normally towards them? (h) Am I really interested in other people's problems? Or do I only listen to them because it's my job? (j) When I have something unwelcome that has to be said to a client or colleague, do I say it as soon as possible? Or do I put it off for as long as I can? (k) Is doing my job effectively the most important professional consideration? Or is it being popular? Or avoiding difficulties? . 42. As with the first set of questions, these professional queries help us reflect upon certain important aspects of our professional relationships. They're not part of a scale on which we gain a score of one kind or another which compares our social skills with those of our peers. They act simply as an aid towards self-knowledge and increasing the quadrant I RESTRICTED

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Conclusion 43. One can significantly influence the size of the Arena in relating to others by the behavioural processes you choose to use in your relationships. To the extent that you make others aware of relevant information which you have and they do not, you enlarge the Arena in a downward direction reducing the Facade. The process employed toward this end has been called by Luft and Ingham The Exposure Process. It entails the open and candid expression of feelings and factual knowledge. 44. Yet it takes two to communicate and the other party must also expose in order for communication to be productive. Therefore, active solicitation by you of the information of others must also be employed. This process is known as Feedback Solicitation. As one solicits feedback, the Arena extends to the right reducing your blind spot. 45. You can establish truly effective relationships if you will engage in optimum Exposure and Feedback solicitation behaviours. The fact is you have the primary responsibility for the productivity of, and the interpersonal rewards which can be derived from, your relationships with others.

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CHAPTER - II RATIONAL EMOTIVE BEHAVIOUR THEORY 1. Rational Emotive Behaviour Theory (REBT) was developed by Dr. Albert Ellis in 1955. After coming to the conclusion that psychoanalysis was a relatively superficial and unscientific form of treatment. He experimented with several other systems. Early in 1955 he combined humanistic, philosophical and behavioural therapy to form Rational Emotive Therapy. 2. Why do we require to learn RET? The following are the some real life examples when we think irrational and that makes us to learn RET. (a) Situation 1. I happen to meet one colonel recently just before the arrival of Baggha commission. And we discussed how A.V.Singh Committee would benefit the organisation. The officer was of the belief that I dont understand why govt is favouring this commission, it will be a de-motivating factor for those who have made it to the rank of colonels with their own effort. It will be upsetting for the senior officers who really worked hard to come up. But now they will be promoted in no time, this should not happen!!!!! Feelings- Feelings of superiority, Thoughts that the system is getting partial, if I didnt get that easily why others should get it!!!! (b) Situation 2. I feel ! have done fairly good in my YOs and other courses but despite this I am given C grading, I feel after putting so much of efforts I deserved A and I should (irrational) have got it. Result-I feel sad and blame the authority and I start believing that people go on face value to give a grading which shouldnt have happened. (c) Situation 3. You get angry on your junior and you call him in your office and shout at him telling things should not be done this way but that way. Result- You are disturbed because you expected some things and these things were not up to your expectation. You want to control and things are not under your control. (d) Situation 4. Your friend always bosses you and tells to do things, which he likes and never listens to you. Result- He feels he is superior to you and you feel bad at times because he dominates you but you dont want to tell him and hurt his feelings. (e) Situation 5. One of your family members gets angry on you and warns you not to do things which is unacceptable to him. Result- You feel there is no one to listen to you. They should not behave this way with me. They should understand me. The reaction is mixed with anger and sadness. RESTRICTED

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(f)

Situation 6. You lost your very near ones suddenly. Result - You feel terrible. You feel shocked. You dont understand how could this happen. You are not ready to accept the reality. You are not able to cope up the situations. You are depressed.

3.

RET is based on simple principles. (a) You are responsible for your own emotions and actions. (i) If you decide to behave angrily you behave that way. Suppose you see your boss or a friend and you think that I feel angry when I see this person you therefore behave angrily with him. (b) Your harmful emotions and dysfunctional behaviours are the product of your irrational thinking. (i) You argue with your spouse and your belief is she should listen to you and if she doesnt you will slap her; you then tend to behave exactly what you thought! (Irrational). (c) Men are not disturbed by the things but by the view which they take of them. (i) I was conducting the first lecture of my life in 1998 and it happened to be boring and dry. One person got annoyed, got up and moved out of the hall. It was not the lecture that annoyed him but it was his belief and expectations that lecture should have been presented in a better way. He viewed it to be good but it was not what he had expected .He was disturbed and walked out. His behaviour didnt disturb me for a moment but yes! I managed to shake him up mentally. (ii) Suppose your boss gives you a task and you fail in it. Your boss humiliates you; you view your self as a worthless person and blame your self for the miserable failure. It was not the humiliation that disturbed you but it was how you reacted to that situation in your mind disturbed you. (d) Our emotions stem mainly from our beliefs, evaluations, interpretations and reactions to life situations hence the way we feel we behave.

Key Concepts of RET 4. People condition themselves to feel disturbed, rather than being conditioned by external sources. 5. People have a biological and cultural tendency to think crookedly and to needlessly disturb themselves.

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6. Humans are unique in that they invent disturbing beliefs and keep themselves disturbed about their disturbances.

7. People have the capacity to change their cognitive emotive and behavioural processes, they can choose to react differently from their usual patterns, refuse to allow themselves to become upset and train themselves so that they can eventually remain minimally disturbed for the rest of their life. 8. Lets see with some of the examples of disturbing beliefs and refusing to become upset. (a) Someone tells me I am an Idiot (disturbing). I may feel bad and get shaken up but the fact is it is his belief for me, his thought process and he may be right from his point of view but from my point of view I know I am not a fool and I prefer not to get disturbed. (b) Someone tells me you wear funny clothes or you look like a clown. I say its your belief for me but I know what I am and I wore this because I like it. (Give your self more importance). (c) A chunk of dirt is lying in front of you while you are eating something you feel YUCKS and you get shaken up. In reality its not that dirt which has shaken you but its you who has got shaken up. As a result you stop eating. (d) Similarly your dad/boss or elder one shouts at you, gets mad at you, you feel irritated, depressed, sad and angry on them. Just think in how much pain they are that they are shouting at you removing their frustration and how disturbed they are. Rather than reacting to them, understand them and be emphatic to them. On the contrary dont get shaken up by them. (e) Suppose you meet with failures in life, like not getting promoted, got divorced, you are bankrupt, you loose your nearest one. YES! To sorrow on such things are the natural phenomena but it should be to a certain extent. To get over it think, thats not the end of the world, tomorrow the sun will rise again and life will go on and it anyway goes on and at that moment its me and you to decide whether to live positively or cry over the things which were not under our control. (f) Be flexible to situations in life; dont be rigid because rigidity breaks and flexibility survives. (g) Enjoy each situation and moments.

(h) Dont try to control others, just think if you cant control your own thoughts or your own heartbeats how can you think of controlling others. Respect his/her individuality. (j) Think rationally. If you can think negative things with the same potentiality you can think positive things too. (i) If you are a failure in some field say in services, marriage, and RESTRICTED

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personal life just think how successful you had been in other parts of life. (ii) (iii) . (iv) .(v) How good a husband you had been all these years ? How good a father you are? How good a son you had been all these years ?. Somewhere there are other achievements in life that satisfies me.

(vi) Just think wherever and whatever you are how fortunate enough you have been to be here at least. There are even more unfortunate people than you are and still they are surviving. View of Emotional Disturbances 9. For example, one person's philosophy after experiencing a loss might take the form: "It is unfortunate that this loss has occurred, although there is no actual reason why it should not have occurred. It is sad that it has happened, but it is not awful, and I can continue to function." 10. Another's might take the form: "This absolutely should not have happened, and it is horrific that it did. These circumstances are now intolerable, and I cannot continue to function." 11. The first person's response is apt to lead to sadness, while the second person may be well on their way to depression. Most importantly of all, REBT maintains that individuals have it within their power to change their beliefs 12. Emotions are largely viewed as a product of human thinking. 13. RET insists that the blame is the core of most emotional disturbances. Therefore, if we are to cure neurosis or psychosis, we better stop blaming others and ourselves. We better learn to accept ourselves in spite of our imperfections. Anxiety usually stems from internal repetition of sentences, I dont like my behaviour and would like to change. And the self blaming sentences, Because of my wrong behaviour and my mistakes, I am a rotten person and I am to blame and I deserve to suffer. According to RET this anxiety is unnecessary. 14. RET contends that people do not need to be accepted and loved, even though it might be desirable. RET teaches how to feel unhurt and unrepressed even when they are not accepted and loved by significant others. 15. RET encourages people to come up from their absolutistic and musts behaviour and tries to help them to surrender this faulty beliefs. 16. Some of the main irrational Ideas that we continually internalise and that inevitably lead to self-defeat are; (a) Every one should love and approve of me (if they don't, I feel awful and unlovable). RESTRICTED

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(b)

We must prove to be thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving.

(c) When people act obnoxiously and unfairly, we should blame and damn them and see them as bad wicked or rotten. (d) I should always be able, successful, and "on top of things" (if I'm not, I'm an inadequate, incompetent, hopeless and failure). (e) People who are evil and bad should be punished severely (and I have the right to get very upset if they aren't stopped and made to pay the price.) (f) When things do not go the way I and planned, it is terrible and I am, of course, going to get very disturbed. I can't stand it! (g) External events, such as other people, a messed -Up society, or bad luck, cause most of my unhappiness. Furthermore, I don't have any control over these external factors, so I can't do anything about my depression or other misery. (g) When the situation is scary or going badly, I should and can't keep from worrying all the time. (h) It is easier for me to overlook or avoid thinking about tense situations than to face the problems and take the responsibility for correcting the situation. (j) I need someone(often a specific person)--to be with and lean on (I can't do everything by myself). (k) Things have been this way for so long, I can't do anything about these problems now. (l) When my close friends and relatives have serious problems it is oddly right and natural that I get very upset too. (m) I don't like the way I'm feeling but I cant help it. I just have to accept it and go with my feelings. 17. How many of these irrational ideas are similar to your own self-statements? How many sound pretty reasonable to you? The more of these irrational ideas you, believe, the more of these likely you are to be upset and have unreasonable feelings. However, just one irrational idea may be all you need to become distraught. 18. Just replace your should & musts with prefer and see the differences like rather than using I should always be able, successful say I prefer to be successful but If I am not that does not mean I am a failure or incompetent and I still should go on because thats not the end of the world!

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The ABC Theory of Personality

19. In case of any situation or incident it is not the event, which leads you to think negatively or positively, but it is your belief, which leads you to think so, and the consequences which follows.

Negative event (A) Irrational Belief (B) Unhealthy negative emotion (C)

Negative event (A) Rational Belief (B) Healthy negative emotion (C)

20. The example would be of an offr who lost his leg in one of the operation in J&K. When he lost his leg (negative event) he thought that life is over and theres no use living (Irrational belief). I cant walk, run, play, things are not the same & gradually he went in to depression for some time (Unhealthy negative emotion) as a matter any one would! 21. But as time passed by this person thought that life, as it is moving then why should I cry and spend life (Rational Belief). This person then started to practice, to walk without the sticks then he started to run gradually and also he went for dance classes and approached other institutions that could coach him in any adventure activities with his disability. He became a normal human being with more josh than before. (a) Activating event/Situation. For example, you are working on an important document for work or school when your spouse/roommate/cat trips on your computer cord and shut the machine down. (b) Beliefs. Your first reaction is, Dammit! Why did she have to do that? Couldn't she see I was working? She should look where shes going, and she shouldn't even come around when I'm working anyway (c) Consequences/Feelings and Actions. You get pissed off. You yell at the person who unplugged your computer. And blame them for all the work you lost. (d) Dispute. You start to Question your demanding ness: Accidents happen. God knows I'm enough of a klutz myself. It's not like she did it on purpose. It'd be nice if she'd not rush through the room when I'm working, but I can deal. (e) Effect/Realistic goals. You decide that in the future you'd like to have less risk of having your work interrupted without making your spouse/roommate angry or being unrealistic (f) Constructive options. You decide that moving the computer cord to

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make it harder to accidentally unplug and saving your work more often. 22. Challenging Irrational Ideas. Our thoughts influence our feelings. If you think people won't like you, you feel disappointed and withdraw socially. If you think nothing will work out well for you, you feel sad or passive and won't try. If you think you must have help to do something, you may feel inadequate and be dependent. If you think you are stupid and incompetent, you may feel worthless and be indecisive and self-critical. No doubt there are connections between thoughts and feelings and/or actions. 23. RET urges us to constantly use the scientific method of objective observation and experimentation, i.e. the systematic manipulation of variables to see what happens. For example, if you think no one would accept a date with you, I would give you an assignment to ask for five appropriate, interesting people. If your belief (that no one will go out with you) proved to be correct with those five people, then I would direct you to start manipulating variables, e.g. how can your appearance or approach be improved, how can you pick more receptive "dates" to approach, and so on, and observing the outcome.

24.

STEP ONE: Identify your irrational ideas. (a) Driver messages: Be perfect, hurry up, try hard, please others, be strong, and so on, reflecting unrealistic demands that interfere with our natural preferences and inclinations. (b) Stopper messages: (ideas that "stop us in our tracks" or "shoot us down and keep us from trying). (c) Catastrophizing "If I said something stupid, it would be terrible. If he/she rejected me, it would be awful."(That wont be the end of the world!). (d) Self-put-downs "I'm so dumb... boring... ugly... weak... selfish...demanding... bossy... irresponsible. Validate your Ideas/thoughts. (e) Self-restricting statements: "I'll speak up providing no ones feelings will be 'hurt." "I'd give an opinion if I had all the facts." "I'd approach him/her if I could think of something witty to say." (f) Witch messages. "Don't be yourself; they won't like you." "Don't be different... don't be like your father... like a sissy... like a pushy boss...like an egghead professor..." (g) Illogical thinking. False' or unfounded conclusions -- "If she doesn't love me, no one will, He smiled, I think she is impressed by my personality." "He/she loves me so much, he/she will make the changes I want him/her to make." -"I won't be able to find a job and support myself, it's hopeless." Some people tend to respond again and again with the same emotional response, say self-criticism, pessimism, or anger. (h) Misattribution. Often we blame our feelings on someone or something else. Examples: "You make me so mad." "I only hit you because you were trying RESTRICTED

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to make me jealous." Often we blame the victim. (j) Overgeneralization, exaggeration, or either or thinking. Anytime we use never, always, or everything, we are probably over generalizing. Many of us over-emphasize the importance of a blemish, a mistake, our looks, etc. Another problem is when vague words are used, like "success," "happiness," or "good." when, some people use either/or reasoning: "If I'm not (successful) yet, I must be a failure." that is foolish! (k) It would be better to think in terms of percentage-how successful have I been? How happy am I? How much progress have I made? (l) (m) Dont expect. Take responsibility for your distress.

(n) Recognize: that neither another person, nor an adverse circumstance, can ever disturb you--only you can. No one else can get into your soul and churn it up. Others can" cause you physical pain--by hitting you over the head with a baseball bat or can block your goals. But you create your own emotional suffering, or self-defeating behavioural patterns, about what others do or say. (o) Identify your "musts." Once you admit that you distort your own' emotions and actions, then determine precisely how. The culprit usually lies in one of the three core "musts:" (i) "Must" #1 (a demand on yourself): "I MUST do well and get approval, or else I'm worthless." This demand causes anxiety, depression, and lack of Assertiveness. (ii) "Must" #2 (a demand on others): "You MUST treat me reasonably, considerately, and lovingly, or else you're no good." This "must" leads to resentment, hostility, and violence. (iii) "Must" #3 (a demand on situations): "Life MUST be fair, easy, and hassle-free, or else it's awful." This thinking is associated with hopelessness, procrastination, and addictions. (p) Begin: by asking yourself: "What's the evidence for my 'must?' "How is it true?" "Where's it etched in stone?" And then by seeing: "There's no evidence." "My 'must' is entirely false." "It's not carved indelibly anywhere." Make your view "must"-free, and then your emotions will heal. 25. Reinforce your preferences. Conclude, therefore. (a) Preference # 1. "I PREFER to do well "and get approval, but even if I fail, I will accept myself fully. (b) Preference #2. "I PREFER that you treat me reasonably kindly, and lovingly, but since I don't run the universe, and it's a part of your human nature to err, I, then, cannot control you.

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(c) Preference #3. "I PREFER that life be fair, easy, and hassle free, and it's very frustrating that it isn't, but I can bear frustration and still considerably enjoy life. 26. Assuming that you take the above suggestions to heart and thereby greatly reduce your anxiety, hostility, depression, and addictions. CONCLUSION 27. As you can see, RET will appeal to you if you relish quickly taking control of your own life, rather than remaining dependent upon a therapist for years. By giving you tools for identifying and overcoming the true source of your difficulties, it will prepare you to act in many ways as your own therapist. And by helping you to reinforce realistic, selfbenefiting beliefs, it will enable you to eliminate present emotional and behavioural problems, and to avoid future ones.

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CHAPTER III ASSERTIVENESS Introduction 1. Imagine you are travelling by bus from place A to Place B. The fare is Rs 4.50. You hand over a Rs 10 note to the conductor and he returns you a Rs 5 note without even mentioning about the 50 paise change. What do you do? Either you dont bother to ask for rest of the money thinking it hardly matters or you accuse him for keeping the change and you demand bluntly for it. Either way it makes you either submissive or aggressive. But, suppose if you ask in the following way, I think you have forgotten to return the rest of money, if you dont have the remaining change right now, then Ill request you to give it to me before I get down. This demonstrates assertive behaviour. 2. In todays scenario, assertiveness training has become must for all of us. Its purpose is to help people stand up for themselves, to say NO inoffensively when they feel someone is taking advantage of them, to pursue their own goals in a less inhibited way, and to communicate needs and feelings better. 3. This lesson aims to :(a) Let you appreciate the differences between submissive, aggressive, and assertive behaviour. (b) (c) 4. Show you how to practice the skills of assertiveness. Familiarise you with different assertiveness techniques.

Ill be covering it in the following phases :(a) (b) (c) Understanding assertive, submissive, and aggressive behaviour. Body language and effects of different behaviours. Learning how to be assertive.

Assertive, Submissive, and Aggressive behaviour 5. The way we behave in different circumstances and conditions can be termed under three different types of behaviour Submissive, Assertive and Aggressive. We all exhibit these three types of behaviour in different circumstances, though we may tend to emphasise one of them more than the others. 6. Submissive Behaviour. Submissive behaviour tends to be exhibited by those who attempt to gain the approval of others and avoid hurting or upsetting anyone. People who demonstrate submissive behaviour:(a) Tend not to stand up for themselves. RESTRICTED

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(b) Tend to express their views in a very cautious or mild manner, or they may not express them at all. (c) Usually allow others to push ahead of them in career terms and allow others to take credit for the work they themselves have completed. They may well resent such actions but are too compliant to do anything about it. 7. Typical submissive statements are:(a) (b) (c) "Im sorry to take up your time but" "Would you be upset if we" "Its only my opinion but"

8. Aggressive Behaviour. Aggressive behaviour tends to be exhibited by those who have little or no concern for other peoples ideas, feelings and needs. Aggressive behaviour:(a) (b) (c) (d) 9. Can involve the use of sarcasm. The adoption of a patronising attitude. Placing the blame for problems and mistakes on someone else. And even verbal hostility and abuse.

Typical Aggressive Statements:(a) (b) (c) "Dont ask questions just do it" "Thats stupid." "Its nothing to do with me its all your fault."

10. Assertive Behaviour. Assertive behaviour tends to be exhibited by those who respect the rights of other people to express their ideas, feelings, and needs, while at the same time recognising that they too have the right to express and pursue such matters. Being assertive means:(a) Being honest with yourself and others.

(b) It means having the ability to say directly what you want, need, or feel, but not at the expense of others. (c) It means having confidence in yourself and being positive, while at the same time understanding other peoples points of view. (d) (e) Being able to negotiate and reach workable compromises. Having self-respect and respect for other people. RESTRICTED

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11.

Typical assertive statements:(a) (b) (c) "I believe that, in my opinion it is so and so what do you think?" "I would like to" "What can we do to resolve this problem?"

Body Language 12. The differences between Assertive, Aggressive and Passive body language. Assertive Posture Head Eyes Upright/Straight Firm not rigid Direct, not staring, good and regular eye contact. Expression the words. Aggressive Leaning forward Chin jutting out Passive Shrinking back Head down

Strongly focused Glancing away, little eye staring, often contact. piercing or glaring eye contact. Smiling even when upset. Hesitant/Soft, trailing off at the end of words/sentence.

Face Voice

fits Set/Firm.

Well modulated Loud/ Emphatic. to fit contact. Relaxed/Moving easily.

Arms/hands

Controlled Aimless/still. Extreme/Sharp gestures/finger pointing, jabbing. Slow and hesitant or fast and jerky.

Movement/Walking Measured suitable action. Effects of different behaviours 13. Aggression.

pace Slow and heavy to or fast, deliberate, hard.

Effects on you Short term: Reduces tension Gives sense of power.

Effects on others Aggression breeds aggression Others retaliate Or; RESTRICTED

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Long term: Blame others for their aggression

Others go underground and avoid you.

14.

Passivity/Submissive Beheaviour. Effects on others People may feel sorry for you. They may take advantage of you. They may restrict contact with you.

Effects on you Short term: Relieved as conflict has been avoided. Long term: Growing loss of self-esteem Less able to act assertively. Risk of more medical problems e.g. headaches and sweating of the palms. 15. Assertiveness.

Effects on you Greater self-confidence. More willing to take initiatives Increased effectiveness in your job

Effects on others People will know what you think and feel They are more likely to respect you. They will know where they stand

16. How to do it. There are three simple steps to assertiveness. It is important that individuals learning to be assertive understand and practise all three and in order. It will seem a lot to learn at first. At the start there seems so much to take in and do, but with practice it becomes your second nature. Step 1 17. Actively listen to what is being said then show the other person that you both hear and understand them. 18. Step one forces you to focus on the other person and not use the time they are talking, to build up a defence or attack. By really listening, you are able to demonstrate some understanding and empathy for their situation even if you do not wholly agree with it. Step 2 19. Say what you think or what you feel.

20. Step two enables you to directly state your thoughts or feelings without insistence or apology. The word HOWEVER is a good linking word between step one and step two. The word BUT tends to contradict your first statement and can be unhelpful. Usage of the word HOWEVER can become a routine, therefore, it is worth thinking of a number of reasonable alternatives like: on the other hand, in addition, even so, nevertheless, alternatively, etc. RESTRICTED

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Step 3. 21. Say what you want say.

22. Step three is essential so that you can indicate without hesitation. Once the three basic steps to assertiveness have been mastered there are a number of key assertive behaviours and techniques which will add to the competence and confidence of the people working with assertiveness. Learning to say No 23. Most of us do not prefer to say NO at all and commit to the request, which is beyond our capabilities. Later, we end up feeling guilty, frustrated and annoyed. Saying NO is an important part of being assertive. Its an art. Few simple tips are (a) Dont respond immediately.

(b) Assess whether the other persons request is reasonable or unreasonable. "hmm, let me see if I understand you correctly, youre saying that" (c) (d) Assert the right to ask for information, clarification or time. Give a simple no followed by one of the following: (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (e) (f) (g) I would prefer not to I would rather I am not willing to I dont want to

Apologise ONLY if you are genuinely sorry. If you prefer to give honest reasons, do so. Dont make excuses. Speak slowly and steadily in order not to sound abrupt.

Broken record 24. Children are experts in the use of the Broken Record technique and use it very effectively. It is useful to help make sure that you are listened to and that your message is received. 25. Sometimes when people are actively involved in their own concerns or needs they pay little attention to what you have to say. Broken record makes sure that your message does get through without nagging (to keep finding faults), whingeing (to complain irritably) or whining. RESTRICTED

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26. With the Broken Record technique it is important to use some of the same words over and over again in different sentences. This reinforces the main part of your message and prevents others from raising a red herring or diverting you from your central message.

27. Example of an insistent customer: "We wont be able to complete by the 15 th. I understand it causes you problems, but the hard facts are it wont be possible to complete all the work by the fifteenth. However, we can promise to finish key areas if you tell us your needs, and we will reschedule the rest: What we cant do is complete everything by the 15th." Fogging 28. When someone is behaving aggressively they tend to expect disagreement and charge ahead without listening. Fogging is used to slow them down by an unexpected response. It is a way of sidestepping their issue and still retaining your point of view by agreeing with some part of what they say. 29. It is called fogging because the effect is very like suddenly being faced with a bank of fog when everything appeared to be clear. It is necessary for the person who is fogging to hold back a bit and pay attention to what is being encountered. 30. The word yes takes them by surprise and really helps to put the brakes on. For example if someone said, Well that was a pretty stupid way to behave in a meeting and you wanted to Fog, you might say Yes, I can see that you think that it was a pretty stupid way to behave. Here, you are not agreeing that you had behaved stupidly in the meeting but you are just affirming that it is only his idea and not yours. 31. Fogging gives you time to get things on to a more even platform and can reduce the temperature in a potentially explosive situation. 32. Example: A manager says "I cant believe it, this bloody company has let me down, they wont be able to manage without me!" Personnel Manager (Fogging) "Yes, I know it must be a shock and that you feel that the company has let you down. You do have valuable knowledge and experience. But lets look at the possibilities which would be best for all." Discrepancy Assertion 33. Discrepancy assertion is used in situations where you are receiving contradictory messages. In a fast-paced, fast-changing work scenario, contradictory messages are one of the by-products. It is important to be able to be clear about what is actually expected without guesswork. Discrepancy assertion helps to clear up misunderstandings before they grow into difficult issues. It is also a useful way to point out to someone the inconsistency in their behaviour without blaming or being accusatory and it helps to move people nearer to a workable compromise. With

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discrepancy assertion it is important to be as objective as possible pointing out the known facts clearly. 34. Example: "Earlier in this month we agreed that I would be given additional resources to manage the end of the month figures. Today I got a memo from you saying we had to cut back on staff numbers. Id like to be clear about how this affects our first agreement."

35. Another example is "At my staff appraisal we both agreed I was taking on too much work and it was causing me a lot of stress. In the last few weeks my department has been given several additional new projects. Id like to discuss the implications of this extra work." Assertiveness scenarios 36. Assertiveness takes practice. A few scenarios of day to day life are projected as follows : 37. Your colleague, whom you like, has a habit of coming into your room to talk to your flatmate about shopping while you are studying. You are interested in the subject, but you are more interested in getting on with your work. He always comes when you are studying. 38. You paid out Rs 300 to have your car tuned and it was a disaster. Despite an additional attempt by the mechanic to get it right, the car is still not running satisfactorily. 39. You share a flat with a friend, with whom you get on very well, but who never does any cleaning up. How Assertive You Are 40. Now let us see how assertive are you? For the questions below, choose your options: 41. In conversations and discussions I mostly :(a) (b) 42. Ask questions Make statements

When I disagree with other peoples opinions, I usually (a) (b) Try to change the subject Tell them

43.

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(a) (b) 44.

Understand everyones ideas Make sure everyone understands you

When explaining ideas :(a) (b) Give lots of detail Try to be brief and simple

45.

I usually show emphasis by :(a) (b) Facial expression. My tone of voice.

46.

When making a point :(a) (b) Lean back. Lean forward.

47.

I like other people to :(a) (b) Give me details. Give a concise picture.

48.

In a standing conversation I hold my hands :(a) (b) Loose or behind my back. On my hips.

49.

I prefer to :(a) (b) Do a good job. Stick to the schedule.

50.

I am usually :(a) (b) Careful and deliberate. Quick.

Interpretation

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51. For each (a) as an answer count -1 and for each (b) answer count +1. Add your total. A very negative score indicates that you may need to assert yourself more. A very high score suggests that you may be overpowering others and could benefit from being a better listener and more patient. Conclusion 52. Assertiveness training may help you to be more effective in impersonal situations. It may also improve your relationships, which work best where the principle of give and take applies fairly and there is clear communication.

CHAPTER IV PERSONALITY 1. Personality. It is derived from a Latin word called PERSONA- MASK. Personality. Personality is the dynamic organisation within the individual of that psychophysical system that determines his characteristics and thought 2. Personality. (a) The core of personality pattern is the individuals concept of himself as a person as related to the world in which he lives. (b) Quality of behaviour determined by SELF- concept. (c) The Concept of Self. An organized configuration of beliefs, feelings, attitudes and values which an individual views as part of characteristics of himself. (d) SELF is a persons Inner World. 3. (b) Change in Personality. From childhood the changes in personality keep taking place till adulthood due to :(i) (ii) (iii) (iv)

Allport

Physical Changes. Environmental Changes. Changes in significant people. Changes in social pressure. RESTRICTED

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(v)

Changes in role.

(c) 4.

Changes in old people are quantitative rather than qualitative. Causes of sick Personalities. (a) (b) (c) (d) (e) (f) (g) Self-Rejection. Self-Disapproval. Self-Distrust. Feeling of Unworthy. Accepts the opinion of others without applying his option. Constantly wishes that he could be someone else. When a person boasts, he pretends to be what he is not.

(h) If self rejection is stronger then it is expressed in various forms of self destructiveness. (j) (k) There is nothing to gain but everything to loose. Un realistic expressions and goals.

(l) Gap between real self and ideal self. (real self is he in present and ideal self is what he wishes to be). (m) (n) (o) (p) (q) Emotional self. Unfavorable social attitudes Environmental Obstacles. Repeated failures : Failure Complex. (It makes him feel like a born failure). Defense Mechanisms. Mechanisms. (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) Rationalization. Trying to rationalize things. Rationalization. Projection. Projects his mistakes on others. Projection. Displacement. Shifts his anger on somebody else. Displacement. Repression. Suppresses his fellings inside. Repression. Behaves like a child like getting angry throwing

(v) Regression. Regression. things, snarling etc.

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(vi) (r) 5.

Compensation. Pretends by showing what he is not pretends. Compensation.

Due to self-rejection a person also suffers low self esteem.

Healthy Personality. (a) Self acceptance (i) (ii) (iii) Accept yourself. Talking to oneself. See as what you are first and not what you like to be.

(iv) Gap between real self and ideal self to be smaller.(think of nearest immediate goal). (v) (vi) (b) Accept criticism constructively. Be flexible. (accept change)

Acceptance of reality. (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) Know your limitations. Be in the present rather than remaining in good old days. Enjoy the day to the fullest. React to success in a rational way.

(c)

Acceptance of responsibility. (i) Accept responsibility for your self and your behaviour.(moral covrage)

(d)

Autonomy. (i) (ii) Be independent-psychologically, emotionally. Take your own decisions: Trust yourself.

(e)

Adopt problem solving and decision making techniques like :(i) (ii) (iii) (iv) Choose a problem. Make alternatives of the problem. Select positive outcomes of all alternatives. Select negative outcomes of all alternatives.

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(d) 06.

(v) Choose the one which has more positive alternatives. Be goal oriented.

Social Adjustments. (a) Be presentable to others :(i) (ii) (b) (c) (d) (e) (f) (g) (h) (j) Carry yourself well. Use appropriate body language.

Develop Social Skills. Develop heterosocial skills. (skill of talking to females) Being an extrovert : expand your horizon. Be unselfish. Be tolerant. Be emphathetic. (thinking from others point of view) Be flexible in thinking. Self Disclosure. (i) (ii) To some extent it is considered to be healthy. It shows the sign of trust.

(k) (l) (m) 07.

Overlook the weakness of others. Have unconditional positive regard for others. Have a high self-esteem for yourself .

Pleasant Personality. (a) (b) (c) (d) (e) (f) (g) Positive mental attitude. Flexibility. Sincerity of purpose. Promptness of decision. Courtesy. Tact. Tone of voice. RESTRICTED

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(h) (j)

The habit of smiling. It does not cost anything. Facial expression.

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CHAPTER V COMMUNICATION SKILLS 1. Meaning. Communication is the effective transmission of message, Idea, feeling and info from one person (Sender) to another (receiver). 2. Purpose. Not only the sender should send the message effectively but should be recd by the receiver effectively in the same context in which it was initiated. 3. Listening Skills. (a) (b) (c) (d) (e) (f) (g) (h) (j) 4. Find interest in speakers. Judge contents not delivery. Hold your fire. Listen for ideas. Exercise your mind. Keep your senses working. Suspend judgments of the speaker. Wait before responding. Maintain eye contact.

Key Points to Improve Listening Art. (a) (b) (c) (d) Listen to your whole self. Good listener is always welcomed. Be eager to listen. Develop a sensitivity (Empathy).

5.

Types of Listening. (a) (b) Informational Listening. Evaluative listening.

(c) Empathetic listening. (where you understands from the speakers point of view).

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6.

Barriers to Effective Listening. (a) (b) (c) (d) (e) (f) Feeling Anxious. Pressure of work. Use of language (technical words). Thinking much faster than speaking. Lack of interest. Preoccupied mind. Poor Listeners (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (v) (vi) (vii) (viii) (ix) Interrupt Change subjects Impetuous Inattentive Negative body lang. Easily distracted Switch off Take over conversation Too talkative Good Listeners Patient Eye contact Summarize to clarify Put you at ease Short prompts given Empathy Take time to listen Do not interrupt Open questions, interest, body lang.

7.

Idea Killer Phrases. (a) (b) (c) (d) (e) (f) (g) Thats ridiculous. We tried that before. That will never work. Thats crazy. Its too radical a change. Were too small for it. Its not practical. RESTRICTED

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(h) (j) (k) (l) (m) (n) (o) (p) (q) (r) (s) (t) (u) (v) (w) (x) (y) (z) (aa) (ab) (ac) (ad) (ae)

Lets get back to reality You cant teach an old dog new tricks. Well be the laughingstock. Youre absolutely wrong. You dont know what youre talking about. Its impossible. Theres no way it can be one. Igniter Phrases. I agree. Thats good!. I made a mistake. Im sorry. Thats a great idea. Im glad you brought. Thats up. Youre on the right track. I know it will work. Were going to try something different today. I never thought of that. We can do a lot with that idea. Real good, anyone else? I like that!. That would be worth a try. Why dont we assume it would work and go from there? 9. Getting others to Listen.

(a) (b)

Encourage Participation. Do not store knowledge.

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(c) (d) (e) (f) 10.

Express , do not impress. Get to the point. Make sure your listeners understand you. Respect the feelings and emotions of your listeners.

Speaking Skills. (g) (h) (i) (j) (k) (l) Know your listeners. Know what you are talking about. Say straight away what you mean. Be sincere. Control your gestures and tone. Do not use irritating words.

11.

Effective Speaking. (a) Body language. (b) (c) (d) Posture. Eye contact. Voice modulation. (i) (ii) (iii) (e) Lips. Jaws. Tongue.

Your message is clearly understood.

(f) You command respect because the listeners sees that you are clear headed and therefore know what you are saying. (g) You have the making of a leader since all good leaders are good communicators. 12. Points to Remember. (a) The audience has come to hear you so you already have a upper hand. Relax.

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(b) Participate public spkg when alone or with trusted friends. Tape record your voice and then listen to it. (c) Open your mouth correctly.

(d)

Deal with your fear of :(i) Being lonely :(aa) (ab) (ii) It is lonely in the spot light. (Negative). Being singled out is an honor-Do it (+VE).

Thinking about someone's intentions :(aa) What are they doing here? Have they brought rotten eggs to pelt at me? (Negative). (ab) Wow! They gave their valuable time to hear me. (Positive)

(iii)

How am I doing? (aa) People are not responding because my words are falling on deaf ears. (Negative). (ab) People generally take time to react.( Positive)

(iv)

Defending your fort :(aa) I shall continue till the end and leave no time for interaction (Negative). (ab) I shall wait for the question, answer it and clarify my position further.

13.

Fear Psychosis in Public. (a) The fear of performing poorly :(i) (b) You are not alone. The best of public speakers are afraid

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(c) The fear of the audience (i) (ii) (iii) (d) Appear confident and in control Identify with the listeners Give passion a place

The fear of fear (i) (ii) (iii) Prepare your speech with care. Work on it and polish it up Confidence automatically follows

14.

Suggestions to Beat Stage Frights. (a) Ways to reduce physical tension. (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (v) (vi) Breathe in slowly and out slowly. Yawn several times. Keep moving. Relax your throat, Jaws and shoulders. Loosen arms. Just be good and not perfect.

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CHAPTER VII EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE It is with the heart that one sees rightly: what is essential is invisible to the eye. Introduction 1. To say that a person is more intelligent than another can only mean that he/she acts more intelligently most of the time. Research has continually shown that grades at school or a high IQ cannot predict unerringly who will be successful and who will not. In the day-to-day world, no intelligence is more important than the interpersonal. High IQ offers little to explain the different destinies of people with roughly equal promise, schooling and opportunity. Practical skills and the ability to handle people that include a part of the art of managing emotion contribute a lot towards any success. Dr Daniel Goleman (1995) called it emotional intelligence. 2. Our emotions are vaster than our minds. They contain our histories, every chapter and verse of energy, experience, deep understanding and relationship in our lives. Emotions make up that which we are, shapes our mind as well as the entire personality pattern. They enter our human system as a source of energy that radiates and resonates. Nature of Emotion 3. The word emotion is derived from the Latin word emover which means the spirit that moves us. That energy is the transmitter and recorder of all feeling, thoughts and actions. It determines what we dream about and what we are drawn to, believe in and committed to. In other words, emotions are the currents of energy that are within us. Emotion activates our lives, shapes our perception and behaviour, which then emanates outwards and influence others. Emotion simply deals with feelings such as anger, love, joy and sadness. On the whole, emotions are illogical- that is why they are called emotion. Hence the impasse between emotion and reason, heart and head, emotional intelligence and intelligence quotient-call it what you will. 4. Many times we read lines like Let emotion sway your duty towards your kingdom. But what is life without emotion? Dull! According to Aristotle, what is wanted is appropriate emotion, feeling proportionate to circumstances. Suppressed emotions and too much control over them become pathological as in immobilizing depression, overwhelming anxiety, raging anger, manic agitation says Dr Daniel Goleman. 5. Thus emotions are reactions consisting of physiological reactions, subjective cognitive states and expressive behaviors. Every emotion has a cognitive component and every thought is influenced by emotional factors. Both emotion and thought are basic attributes, which in the human being are intimately meshed in a dialectical unity (Thomas and Chess,1980). Differentiated psychological traits of older children and RESTRICTED ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY

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adults clearly reflect the interaction processes that involve emotion and thought. The findings of Isen and Daubman (1984) suggest that persons in good mood are able to process information effectively, but they are less motivated to do so when in a neutral mood. When emotions are guided constructively, they enhance intellectual performance. Isen (1991) has shown that when the subjects are treated warmly while being administered IQ tests, they score higher as compared to when they are treated harshly, In short, there appears to be important links between emotion and cognition, between the way we feel and the way we think. Emotional Intelligence 6. People who have control over their lives can manage and know their feelings well and read and deal effectively with other peoples feelings. While the people who do not have control over their emotional life fight inner battles that sabotage their ability to focus on work and think clearly (Goleman, 1995). Emotional intelligence is a type of social intelligence which involves the capacity for recognizing our own feeling and those of others for motivating ourselves and for managing emotion well in ourselves and in our relationship. Various characteristics makeup emotional intelligence such as selfmotivation, ability to control impulses regulates moods and keep distress away from swamping the ability to think. 7. The term was coined in 1990 by Peter Salovey, a Yale Psychologist and John Major of the university of New Hampshire. It is regarded as the prime parameter to measure an individual chance of success in life. According to Goleman (1996) an individuals success at work is 80 percent dependent on emotional intelligence and only 20 percent dependent on IQ. More recently, Solovely and Mayer (1989-1990) defined the construct of emotional intelligence as the ability to monitor ones own and others feeling and emotion, to discriminate among them, and to the use this information to guide ones own thinking and actions. Goleman (1995) described emotional intelligence as an ability that includes self-awareness, impulse control, persistence, zeal, selfmotivation, empathy and social adeptness. Berner (1996) operationalized emotional intelligence by focusing on optimal responses that result form the ability to attend rapidly, appropriately and without effort to the experienced feelings. An inability in this area leads to self-damaging emotions and behaviors. In other words, emotional intelligence refers to the skillfulness with which one can mediate and regulate the emotion of oneself and others. 8. In a descriptive study, Hatzes (1996) found emotional intelligence to be critical factor contributing to the academic and employment outcomes of this group of individuals. Emotional intelligence in Hatzes study was conceptualized to include ability to manage emotions, persistence, interpersonal skills, empathy positive re-framing and explanatory style. 9. Knowledge of person own emotions is the basic element of emotional intelligence. If people can not recognize this own emotion, it leaves them at other peoples mercy and creates feeling of distress. Persons having the quality of selfawareness know about their limitations and strengths, which allows them to exercise self control. It permits people to develop coping mechanisms during intensely emotional states. Self-aware people have a high degree of self-confidence and also knowledge of their abilities.

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10. Knowing ones own emotions and those of others is not sufficient to become emotionally intelligent; managing emotions appropriately is necessary. People who know how to manage their emotions can also channel them in useful emotions. It is an important aspect for leadership qualities. People who excel in managing emotions can bounce back far more quickly from lifes setbacks. 11. Self-motivation is necessary for emotional intelligence. A number of people are motivated by external factors such as status in an organization or achievement motivation. People having high achievement motive remain optimistic under unfavorable conditions too. People having this skill tend to be more productive. 12. Empathy is an ability to feel for other people. Persons who are empathetic in nature consider others feelings along with related factors in the process of making intelligent decisions. People who have empathy are better in profession like teaching, sales and management. They have also a deep understanding of cultural and ethnic differences. 13. Social skills or the ability to handle the emotions of other people is an essential aspect of emotional intelligence. Much of the art of relationship is emotional interactivity. It is a skill to interact with other people effectively. People who excel in such type of skills do well in anything that depends on interaction with others. Emotional intelligence yields potential for learning practical skills. Various components of these skills are given in the succeeding paras. 14. Self-awareness. Knowing ones internal state, preferences, resources and intuition is emotional awareness: Recognizing ones emotions and their effects. Accurate self-assessment: Knowing ones strength and limits. Self-confidence: A strong sense of ones worth and capabilities. 15. Self- Regulation. Managing ones internal state, impulses and resources. Selfcontrol: Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check. Trustworthiness: Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity. Conscientiousness: Taking responsibility for personal performance. Adaptability: Flexibility in handling change. Innovation: Being comfortable with novel ideas, approaches and new information. 16. Motivation. Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals. Achievement drive: Striving to improve or meet a standard of excellence. Commitment: Aligning with the goals of the group or organization. Initiative: Readiness to act on opportunities. Optimism: Persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks. 17. Empathy. Awareness of others feelings needs and concerns. Understanding others: Sensing others feelings and perspectives, and taking an active interest in their concerns. Developing others: Sensing others development needs and bolstering their abilities. Service orientation: Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting customers needs. Leveraging diversity: Cultivating opportunities through different kinds of people. Political awareness: Reading a groups emotional currents and power relationships.

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18. Social Skills. Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others. Influence: Wielding effective tactics for persuasion. Communication: Listening openly and sending convincing messages. Conflict management: Negotiating and resolving disagreements. Leadership: Inspiring and guiding individuals and groups Change catalyst: Initiating or managing change. Building bonds: Nurturing instrumental relationships. Collaboration and Cooperation: Working with others towards shared goals. Team capabilities: Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals. 19. Characteristics of People with High Emotional Intelligence. Peter Salovey(1990) has identified five characteristics of persons with high emotional intelligence. They are :(a) (b) (c) (d) (e) Knowing ones emotions. Managing emotions Motivating oneself Recognizing emotions in others, and Holding relationships

20. Some other characteristics of people with high emotional intelligence according to many psychologists are :(a) Emotional self awareness. (i) (ii) (iii) (b) Improved recognition and naming ones own emotion. Better able to understand the causes of feelings. Recognizing the difference between feeling and actions.

Managing Emotions. (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (v) (vi) (vii) (viii) Better frustration tolerance and anger management. Fewer verbal put down, fights, and classroom disruptions. Better ability to express anger appropriately, without fighting. Fewer suspensions and expulsions. Less aggressive or self- destructive behavior. More positive feeling about self, school and family. Better handling stress. Less loneliness and social anxiety.

(c)

Harnessing Emotional Productivity. RESTRICTED

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(i) (ii) (iii) (iv)

More responsible. Better able to focus on the task at hand and pay attention. Less impulsive: more self control. Improved scores on achievements tests.

(d)

Empathy: Reading emotions. (i) (ii) (iii) Better able to see another persons Perspective. Improved empathy and sensitivity to others feelings. Better at listening to others.

(e)

Handling Relationships (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (v) (vi) (vii) (viii) (ix) Increased ability to analyze and understand relationships Better at solving problems in relationship More assertive skill at communicating More popular and outgoing; friendly and involved with peers More sought out by peers More concerned and considerate More Pro-social and harmonious groups More sharing, cooperative and helpful More democratic in dealing with others.

21. Developing Emotional Intelligence. Can emotional Intelligence be developed? Yes. Emotional intelligence can be developed say many child psychologists. A child in its early years needs a role model, be it parent or a teacher, to set a good example. Yoga is another means of achieving emotional stability that many schools have introduced in their curriculum. 22. Psychologists suggest the following ways to develop emotional intelligence. Good role models- teachers, parents, etc. By observing these role models children, gradually learn how to analyze and cope with life. Direct reading classes on personality development, value education, etc Reading personality improvement books and articles are quite helpful .One can learn from his/ her own life experiences if he/she is introspective. Attending workshops and seminars on personality development and the like. Media programs (for children) can be very informative and educative. The positive aspect of religion can offer a lot of solace and guidance. RESTRICTED

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23.

Emotional intelligence can be enhanced by developing the following. (a) Self-awareness. Observing yourself and recognizing your feeling; building a vocabulary for feeling; knowing the relationship among thoughts, feelings and reactions. (b) Personal Decision-making. Examining your actions and knowing their consequences; knowing if thought or feeling is ruling a decision; applying these insight to issues such as sex and drugs. (c) Managing feeling. Monitoring self talk to catch negative messages such as internal put downs; realizing what is behind feeling ( e.g, the hurt that underlies anger ); finding ways to handle fears and anxieties, anger and sadness. (d) Handling stress. relaxation methods Learning the value of exercise, guided imagery and

(e) Empathy. Understanding others feeling, concern and perspective; appreciating the differences in how people feel about things. (f) Communications. Talking about feelings effectively; listening as well as asking questions; distinguishing between what someone does or say and your own reaction and judgement. (g) Self disclosure.: Valuing openness and building trust in a relationship; knowing when it is safe to talk about your feelings (h) Insight. Identifying patterns in your emotional life and reactions; recognizing similar pattern in others. (j) Self acceptance. Feeling pride and seeing yourself in a positive light; recognizing your strengths and weakness; being able to laugh at yourself. (k) Personal Responsibility. Taking responsibility; recognizing the consequences of your decision and action, accepting your feeling and moods. Following through on commitments (e.g. studying). (l) Assertiveness. passivity. (m) Group dynamics: to follow. Seating your concerns and feeling without anger is Cooperation; knowing when and how to lead, when

(n) Conflict resolution:How to fight fair with other children, with parents with teachers; the win model for negotiating compromise. 24. According to W.T. Grant Consortium (1992), developing the following skills can develop emotional intelligence. 25. Emotional skills.

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(a) (b) (c) (d) (e) (f) 26.

Identifying and labeling feelings Expressing feelings Assessing the intensity of feelings Managing feelings delaying impulses Reducing stress Knowing the difference between feeling and action.

Cognitive skills. (a) Self talk conducting an inner dialogue as a way to cope with a topic or challenge or reinforce ones own behavior. Reading and interpreting social cuesfor example, recognizing social influences on behavior and seeing oneself in the perspective of the larger community. Using step for problem solving and decision making, for instance, controlling, setting goals, identifying actions, anticipating consequences. Understanding the perspective of others. Understanding behavioral norms. A positive attitude towards life. (b) Self-awareness oneself. For example, developing realistic expectations about

27.

Behavior skills. (a) Non verbal communication through contact, facial expression, tones of voice, gesture, and so on. (b) Verbal making clear requests, responding effectively to criticism, resisting negative influence, listening to others helping others participating in positive peer group.

28. Cornerstones of Emotional intelligence. The four cornerstones of emotional intelligence are :Emotional literacy 29. This involves developing a clear and useful vocabulary, for emotional literacy and recognizing respecting and valuing the inherent wisdom of feelings. Emotional energy, emotional honesty, emotional feedback and practical institution contribute to emotional literacy .To experience emotional literacy/ emotional honesty a person can go for an emotional intelligence. Self audit for several days. This can be improved through monitoring thoughts and feeling; self- observation, paying careful attention to get feeling etc. 30. Some of the most effective programs in emotional literacy were developed as a response to a specific problem, notably violence. One of the fastest growing of these prevention inspired emotional literacy courses is the Resolving Conflict Creatively RESTRICTED

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Program, in several hundred New York City public schools and schools across the country. The conflict- resolution course focuses on how to settle school yard arguments that can escalate into incidents like the hallway shooting of Lan Moore and Tyrone Sinkler by their classmate at Jefferson High School. 31. Linda Lantieri, the founder of the Resolving Conflict Creativity program and director of the Manhattan- based national center for the approach, sees it as having a mission for beyond just preventing fights. She says, The programs shows students that they have many choices for dealing with conflict besides passivity or aggression. They show them the futility of violence while replacing it with concrete skills. Kids learn to stand up for their rights without resorting to violence. These are life long skills, not just for those most prone to violence .

32. In one exercise, students think of a single realistic step, no matter how small, that might have helped settle some conflict they have had. In another, students enact a scene in which a big elder sister trying to do her home work gets fed up with her younger sisters loud rap tape. In frustration the older sister turns off the tape despite the younger ones protests. The class brain storms ways they might work out the problem that would satisfy both sisters. 33. One key to the success of the conflict- resolution program is extending it beyond the class room to the play ground and cafeteria, where tempers are more likely to explode. To that end, some students are trained as mediators, a role that can begin in the latter years of elementary school. When tension erupts, students can seek out a mediator to help them settle it. The schoolyard mediators learn to handle fights, taunts and threats, interracial incidents, and the other potentially incendiary incidents of school life. 34. The mediators learn to phrase their statements in ways that make both parties feel that mediator is impartial. Their tactics include sitting down with those involved and getting them to listen to the other person without interruptions or insults. They make each party calm down and state their position, then have each paraphrase whats been said so that its clear theyve really heard. Then they all try to think of solutions that both sides can live with, the settlements are often in the form of a signed agreement. 35. Beyond the mediation of a given dispute, the program teaches students to think differently about disagreement in the first place. As Angel Perez, trained as a mediator while in grade school, put it, the program Changed my way of thinking. I used to think, hey, if somebody picks on me, if somebody does something to me, the only thing was to fight, do something to get back at them. Since I had this program, Ive had a more positive way of thinking. If somethings done negative to me, I dont try to do the negative thing back I try to solve the problem. And he has found himself spreading the approach in his community. 36. While the focus of Resolving Conflict Creativity is on preventing violence, Lantieri sees it as having a wider mission. Her view is that the skills needed to head off violence can not be separated from the full spectrum of emotional competence- that, for example, knowing what you are feeling or how to handle impulse or grief is as important for violence prevention as is managing anger. Much of the training has to do with emotional basics such as recognizing and expanded range of feeling and being RESTRICTED

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able to put names to them, and empathizing. When she describes the evaluation results of her programs effects, Lantieri points with as much pride to the increase in Caring among the kids as to the drops in fights, put downs, and name- calling. 37. A similar convergence on emotional literacy occurred with a consortium of psychologists trying to find ways to help youngsters on a trajectory toward a life marked by crime and violence. Dozens of studies of such boys yielded a clear sense of the path most take, starting from impulsiveness and a quickness to anger in their earliest school years, through becoming social rejects by the end of grade school, to bonding with a circle of others like themselves and beginning crime sprees in the middle school years. By early adulthood, a large portion of these boys have acquired police records and a readiness for violence.

38. When it came to designing interventions that might help such boys get off this road to violence and crime, the result was, once again, an emotional literacy program. One of these, developed by Carol Kusche along with Mark Greenberg at the University of Washington, is the PATHS curriculum(PATHS is the acronym for promoting alternative thinking strategies). While those at risk for trajectory toward crime and violence are most in need of these lessons, the course is given to all those in a class, avoiding any stigmatizing of a more troubled sub group. 39. Still, the lessons are useful for all children. These include , for example, learning in the earliest school years to control their impulses, lacking this ability, children have special trouble paying attention to what is being taught and so fall behind in their learning and grades. Another is recognizing their feelings, the PATHS curriculum has fifty lessons on different emotions, teaching the most basic such as happiness and anger, to the youngest children, and later touching on more complicated feelings such as jealousy, pride and guilt. The emotional awareness lessons include how to monitor what they and those around them are feeling, and most important for those prone to aggression- how to recognize when someone is actually hostile, as opposed to when the attribution of hostility comes from oneself. 40. One of the most important lessons, of course, is anger management. The basic premise children learn about anger (and all other emotions as well) is that all feelings are okay to have, but some reactions are okay and others not. Here one of the tools for teaching self control is the same stoplight exercise used in the New Haven course. Other units help children with their friendships, a counter to the social rejections that can help propel a child towards delinquency. Emotional Fitness 41. There is a key characteristic of emotional fitness. It includes authenticity/ resilience, renewal and constructive discontent. Emotional fitness refers to those qualities that illuminate our personal values and character and the feeling that enlivens and drive them. Tom Peter, a leading executive of Motorola corporation, USA says, Technique and technology are important but adding trust is the issue of the decade Francis Fukuyama, a senior analyst for the Rand corporation calls it radius of trust . It RESTRICTED

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is based upon a combination of believability and spontaneous sociabilityan aspect of emotional intelligence indicative of ones case of talking with Strangers and emulating differences with openness instead of rigidity. So if you are genuine about your accessibility, other will trust you and you will stand out from the management crowd. Emotional Depth 42. Emotional depth calls forth ones core character, unique potential, and purpose of destiny. It is the manifestation of a persons commitment, drive, initiative, conscience, and accountability. It shows ones integrity and increase his / her influence beyond authority, rank and title. Emotional depth can be developed by including selfawareness, assertiveness, empathy, communication, and by referring the role model.

Emotional Alchemy 43. It is blending of forces that enable us to discover creative opportunities and to discover creative opportunities and transform lesser ideas into greater ones. It is emotional alchemy through which we extend our creative instincts and capacity to flow with problems and pressure and to fight for the future. It throws light on the range of hidden solution and untapped opportunities. 44. There is an old fashioned word for the body of skills that emotional intelligence represents: Character. Character, writes Amitai Etzioni, the George Washington University social theorist, is The Psychological muscle that moral conduct requires. And philosopher John Dewey saw that a moral education is most potent when lessons are taught to children in the course of real events, not just as abstract lessons the mode of emotional literacy. If character development is a foundation of democratic societies, consider some of the ways emotional intelligence buttresses this foundation. The bedrock of character is self discipline, the virtuous life, as philosophers since Aristotle have observed, is based on self control. A related keystone of character I being able to motivate and guide oneself, whether in doing homework, finishing a job, or getting up in the morning. And, as we have seen, the ability to defer gratification and to control and channel ones urges to act is a basic emotional skill, one that in a former day was called will. We need to be in control of ourselves- our appetites, our passionsto do right by others, .notes Thomas Lickona, writing about character education. It takes will to keep emotion under the control of reason. 45. Being able to put aside ones self centered focus and impulses, has social benefits: It opens the way to empathy, to real listening, to taking another persons perspective. Empathy, as we have seen, leads to caring, altruism, and compassion. Seeing things from anothers perspective breaks down biased stereotypes, and so breeds tolerance and acceptance of differences. These capacities are ever more called on in our increasingly pluralistic society, allowing people to live together in mutual respect and creating the possibility of productive public discourse. These are basic arts of democracy.

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46. Schools, notes Etzioni, have a central role in cultivating character by inculcating self-discipline and empathy, which in turn enable true commitment to civic and moral values: They need to practice them, which happens as children build the essential emotional and social skills. In this sense, emotional literacy goes hand in hand with education for character, for moral development and for citizenship.

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Conclusion 47. It can be concluded that emotional intelligence refer to the ability to set a goal in life; work towards achieving it, negotiate it and feel empathetic towards others. It is learned process. A key set of characteristics makes up emotional intelligence, such as self-motivation and persistence in the face of frustration, the ability of control impulse, to regulate moods and to empathize. An individuals success at work is 80 per cent dependent on emotional intelligence quotient. Studies in the corporate world have shown that IQ gets you hired and emotional intelligence helps you climb the professional ladder. A research survey finding shows that emotional is the ability to know what emotions one has, how strong they are and the causes, management and control of emotion in productive manner. It is measures of ones ability to bring intelligence to ones emotions. Therefore, the endeavor of modern day is that the manager should develop emotional intelligence and give it a proper direction. If we are able to channelise Emotions in a productive manner, other benefits will follow.

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CHAPTER VII POSITIVE THINKING 1. People are constantly striving for more control over their lives, but they usually fail because they have no idea what they can influence and what they cannot. They believe in the old adage that life is what you make of it, but this only adds to their confusion and frustration. As pressure builds up, people will either push harder, hoping to force the changes they want, or give up completely by resigning themselves to the fact" that they are mere mortals and shouldn't be too demanding of life. Neither method, of course, will bring about the desired results. 2. Most people go through life perceiving themselves as puppets on a string being pulled by the hands of faith. This fatalistic view robs individuals of their power to reason; their will, and their right to choose. Regrettably, most people are not conscious of the first law of nature, namely that what we choose to think about today will eventually come about in the future. In other words, what and how you and I think and feel in the present will determine how we act, which in turn determines the future consequences of our behavior as a natural cause and effect relationship. 3. Our minds create our world as we know it. There is no one reality. The reality that we know and accept today is simply a product of our particular manner of thinking at this point in time, including our sense of self. The fact is that we really don't know who we are or have any idea what talents and abilities lie hidden inside us. But we think we know, and of course we act out this particular interpretation every day of our lives. But we have the option to change our assessment of ourselves at any time based on new information or by updating old information. Additionally a good deal of our present thinking involves worrying about the future. Dwelling on the past or future, however, only allows anxieties and fears to dominate our minds. 4. Our thinking in the present need not concentrate only on these aspects. We must remember that the moment at hand is the only time there is. When we concentrate on being successful in the present it is impossible to experience fear. This is the power of positive expectation in action. Optimism is simply an attitude of the mind, thinking, we will act positively and enthusiastically; on the other hand if we practice negative destructive thinking, we will act negatively and unproductively. 5. We must place immense value on our conscious thoughts in the present, for they will determine our actions and in turn the reaction of others. From this point on, our future will take care of itself. Since we control our thoughts and actions, we determine the results. It is the law of cause and effect. Good, bad or indifferent these results are a direct consequence of our current behaviour. We are today exactly where we deserve to be, and we will be at the same place tomorrow unless we decide where we want to be somewhere else. Its not so important where we are or where we have been in life, only where we are going. Remember that what you think will be, so begin thinking who and what you want to be. Learn how to exercise your personal power over your future. 6. Hence in this lecture, we will learn. (a) How to control our thoughts and emotions? RESTRICTED

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(b) (c) (d) (e) (f)

How to modify our behaviour? How to use conscious, rational thought to our advantage? How to acquire a positive mental attitude, and positive thinking? How to become the person you really want to be? How to formulate and reach goals, which seem impossible to others?

Positive Assertive Behaviour 7. One of lifes real challenges and hopes is to create and look forward to the next stage of personal development. Each of us today is exactly where the sum total of all our thoughts and actions have brought us. Everything has a beginning. In personal development, to begin is everything. Positive implies constructive affirmation. Positive and possible are also complimentary in that possible means capable of existing and positive implies confidence and assurance in this being the case. Hence a positive attitude implies confidence in other possibilities. Positive thinking is just another name for faith. 8. Assertion is simply the action of declaring yourself to others- this is who you are, what you think, and how you feel. It characterizes an active rather than passive approach to life. You make things happen when you act rather than simply react. In this way, you increase predictability and effect more control over your future. Positive assertive behaviour is evident in personal communication, that is open direct and honest. It demonstrates that you are willing to assert your rights in the proper circumstances and in an appropriate way while at the same time recognize and respect the rights of others. There is no perfect solution or cure- all for anything including failure in human relations. Positive-Assertive People 9. The term positive-assertive behaviour denotes people who have developed a positive mental attitude through a positive perception of life. They are willing to give off themselves at all times while expecting nothing in return in the unfailing faith that sometime in the future they will receive many times over. They assert their independence and sense of fair play by keeping an open mind on all matters and reserving judgment until all relevant aspects have been weighed and considered. They stand up for their beliefs and assert their positive self image and views on life in all they say and do. They accept and create challenges in their home, social and work life, and accept full responsibility for all their thoughts and actions. They add value to everything and look for good everywhere. They are capable of taking charge because they are in control of their actions and emotions. They stretch the area of the possibility, the capabilities of their mind and believe in the ability of human beings to reshape their world. They give credit to others for their contribution and thanks to their creator for their blessings.

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How to create Positive thinking and develop Positive Attitude 10. First give others what they want and they will give you what you want in return. The key word is first. As Les Giblin states in his book How You Can Have Confidence and Power :-People act or fail to act- largely to enhance their own egos. Empathize with the other person and practice treating him the same way you would like to be treated yourself. If you put giving first, you will find that getting will take care of itself. It is an attitude of mind that you need only to develop and apply in your daily encounters. In any encounter, another person can quickly sense if you have his interests in mind or your own. Dare to try, dare to believe in yourself, and dare to dream! Use your open mind to listen to other people more effectively. Consciously transform yourself in to a more positive-assertive person by thinking and acting more positively and assertively at all times. 11. You are more than who you think you are! Actively, consciously pondering your possibilities automatically activates the subconscious mind into creating the solutions. You have to be positive and assertive with yourself before you can be with others. Take Time to think 12. People talk about food for thought when it is more appropriate to talk about images for thought. Although you are what you eat, the fact that you are what you think is of more interest to many. We know that people think in images and not in words and people can become what they imagine, which probably is more fun. We know people think in images because primitive man communicated his ideas and experiences to others by drawing pictures in the sand and on the walls of his cave for thousands and thousands of years. Hence images stick. 13. Your personality is simply the outward expression of your inner attitudes and beliefs. Your behaviour is simply your attitude in action. In fact your attitudes are the real you and you function based on your attitudes 99.9% of the time. All attitudes are a function of your basic beliefs and values that are deeply entrenched in your sub conscious mind. Attitude is defined as a habitual manner of acting, feeling, and thinking that shows our disposition, opinions, and beliefs about life. Our beliefs represent our attitude profile that we have acquired during our up bringing. The attitude becomes our trade mark and the way in which the world thinks about you and what it can expect from you. When you give yourself a positive outlook on life, you are contributing to a positive mental attitude. All of this leads to a natural cause and effect relationship:When you change your thinking, You change your beliefs. When you change your beliefs, You change your expectations. When you change your expectations, You change your attitude. This new attitude in turn has an effect of its own:When you change your attitude, You change your behaviour. When you change your behaviour, You change your performance. RESTRICTED

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When you change your performance, You change your life! 14. All meaningful change begins, then, when you make the efforts to change your beliefs about who you think you are. These deliberate actions when applied over time will begin to modify your current responses and emotion into others considered more desirable and appropriate. Your emotions will always be consistent with your ingrained reality structure, the pictures you have in your head that define who you think you are. 15. By learning to acquire a positive-assertive stance in your thinking and behaviour, you are potentially reaching the first Peak in your life that will allow you to peek over and above the confusion and frustration of everyday events to see the possibility of new achievement. When you do all of this consciously, under control, and purposely, the reaction you receive is unlike any other experience in your life. Personal Development 16. Personal development is important from a personal and professional point of view. Your happiness depends on it, as does the happiness of those close to you. Your organization has a considerable investment in you as well, and stands to benefit from any new skills you can develop and apply on the job. Intelligence, specialized knowledge, experience, talent, hard work- even with all of these, without effective human relations you are not likely to be successful. Without success most people are not happy. Human relations are the art of dealing with people in such a way that everyone wins. We all know successful people who seem to relate well with others, while many people seem intent only to blame others for all their problems. Personal power plays a key role in each of our lives. 17. Creative imagination and faith, of all mans faculties are surely the most powerful. They are within everyone to use and exploit at will. The ability to see and accept other possibilities has a lot to do with personal motivation. Our notions and perceptions, which have become our biases about ourselves and our environment, are affected constantly by signals from a wide variety of external sources. Collectively, they form a mosaic and ultimate basis for our attitude profile, known as our personal belief system. One useful technique to bring about change in your ingrained reality structure involves a technique called autosuggestion. This involves repeating positive declarations and assertions to yourself about things you want to change with sincere conviction in your imagination. Newman calls this process Constructive Imagination in his revealing book Release your Brakes. He explains in detail how positive statements or affirmations bring about the harmonization of conscious and sub conscious state. Let Your Mind Work For You Instead of Against You 18. A wise man is master of his mind, a fool is its slave. Understanding the working of human mind is not an exact science, yet it is an intriguing task. Those who have studied the human mind believe that its parts in fact are infinite. Appropriate behaviour, rational thinking and proper use of your mind will create positive emotions in you that in turn will allow you to be a more effective person. Take an adventure in attitudes. Forget the way you now look at life and consider some original thinking that questions previous assumptions. Here are some attitudinal tips:

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(a) Worry about decisions only before you make them, in other words, at the time of evaluation. Once the decision is made, dont ever look back. (b) Dont jam up your circuits. Concentrate on one problem at a time in the order of priority that corresponds to your current needs. (c) Live for the moment. Use your conscious mind to concentrate on problems in present. (d) Program problems requiring creative solutions into your memory bank. Then relax and let the power of your subconscious mind take over to come up with solutions. (e) Dont expect instant results. For example, you acquire a new positive selfimage by carefully and consciously inputting new beliefs about yourself and your world into your electronic data bank. This new self image will evolve automatically over a time, followed by a modified personality and behaviour. (f) Be a good listener. Be quiet yet alert as you take in the essence of what others are saying to you, and pay attention to their body language. Maintain eye contact at all times. (g) Avoid inputting inaccurate data into your memory bank. False expectations are based on false data. Learn to listen and communicate effectively, and ask questions when in doubt. (h) Dont set up mental road-blocks. Practice keeping an open mind instead of jumping into a biased conclusion. (j) Think of what you have to do as easy , and it will become soon.

(k) Consciously maximize positive inputs and minimize negative ones from your environment. Your mental health and attitude can be measured by your disposition to find good everywhere. (l) Learn to let your subconscious mind brainstorm for you and work to solve tomorrows problems, while you consciously deal with todays. (m) Develop work-play activity patterns. After a period of concentration and effort at home or at the office; take a break specifically to relax. (n) Assemble brainpower to brainstorm as a group with supportive friends and associates. (o) Never personalize your mistakes. A mistake is an event and has no relevance to you as a person. (p) Decide to make two days free of worry in the present. Make one of these days yesterday and the other one tomorrow. (q) Dont try to do too much at a time. Break the task up into chewable portions. RESTRICTED

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(r) Always have a personal project on the go, something you have a keen interest in. It will stimulate your mind and help you to relax. 19. Positive feelings such as gratitude, trust, empathy and respect result in the generation of energy, whereas negative feelings such as jealousy, hostility, anger and revenge result in the dissipation of energy. Medical science has confirmed this fact with studies that show we consume energy at three times the normal rate when we are upset or angry. Foster a well-balanced emotional outlook on life, and you will be able to conserve your energy and direct it towards more productive ends.! Mankind stumbled along for a long time knowing he possessed a thinking brain, but not knowing how he could control his thought processes. Today, however we know we can condition our brains to do our bidding; we can manage and control this resource just like any other tool. Be happy with yourself and your environment 20. Happiness is the state of mind. It is simply having pleasant thoughts. Happiness is an acquired attitude of the mind. Pleasant thoughts can only be produced by rational thinking in the present. You must be happy now, for hoping to be happy in the future, is merely wishful thinking. Practiced as a daily habit, it enables a person to rise above the petty problems of everyday life, freeing valuable time and energy for more important activities. Learn to respond only in ways that lead you to your goals including successful human relations. Decide to be optimistic, enthusiastic, cheerful, appreciative, helpful and friendly and you will be directing more of your energy and talents towards the achievement of current goals. Defeat is only an attitude of the mind. Learn from your mistakes and keep on keeping on. You are never defeated until you accept defeat as a reality, and decide to stop trying. People can discourage you; people can laugh at you; but only you can kill your dream and give up. If you think positive thoughts you will become positive; if you think happy thoughts you will become happy; and if you think enthusiastic thoughts, you will become enthusiastic. In this way, you are controlling your emotions and overall state of mind. 21. For those who use prayer and find it successful, assume you already have the attributes, qualities and abilities you desperately desire. Answered prayers are the realization of your minds desire. A prayer is a sincere, heart-felt desire for change or help to solve a problem. In fact, it is the harmonious interaction of the conscious and subconscious mind towards a common purpose. Let your Greatest Defeat be The Reason for your Greatest Success 22. Your attitude when you lose will determine how long it will take until you win again. Many people take several years to fully recover from a major defeat without realizing that rational thought and clear thinking could have greatly assisted them in viewing the event in a completely different light. It is important to understand that the feelings of fear, anxiety and failure are not decreed by fate. They do not have to be a punishment. They represent neither facts nor absolute truths about you, only perceptions or conclusions about an event that has happened to you. In such a situation, you must simply try to keep an open mind on the matter and regroup your

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forces. The most effective way to replace negative feelings is to concentrate repeatedly on positive images such as past successes.

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Imagination, Wealth and a sense of Morality 23. You cant buy a new attitude with any amount of money. By thinking wealth health and happiness you will attract them into your life. True power is the realization that you are in control of your own destiny. As before, we are talking about positive assertive behaviour between your conscious and subconscious minds. You must consciously transmit the possibility and idea of wealth and success to your subconscious mind in terms of specific thoughts with sincere feelings. The utility and acceptability of wealth is a personal matter involving individual perceptions. We know our inherent need for ego gratification includes the desire for recognition, status and opportunities to demonstrate high achievement, competence, creativity and a degree of personal autonomy. Wealth and freedom are a natural means to this end and are available for the asking. There is undeniable psychological evidence that shows that it makes good sense to be good and of good moral character. With moral freedom comes commensurate responsibility to exercise it within limits. There must be some fundamental rules if people are to live together in harmony in society. Our values cannot be compromised without paying a heavy prize. Our subconscious mind is the repository of our personal value system and cannot help but notice what is going on. Positive-Assertive Behaviour 24. Positive-assertive people are well placed to act effectively and in harmony with each other in this liberated society. Freedom necessarily requires people to think carefully about their behaviour, and to view their immediate concerns and desires in light of future consequences, including their effect on others. Positive-assertive people operate in this manner sharing needs and reward fairly and in mutual respect in one-onone encounter. They recognize and accept the view that one of lifes real challenges and hopes is to create and look forward to the next stage of personal development. Principles of Motivation based on Positive Assertive Behaviour 25. People in general have positive expectations about life. Most people believe that they have a reasonable understanding of what it takes to achieve an average level of success professionally, personally and socially. The principles of motivation based on positive-assertive behaviour are as follows: (a) (b) (c) (d) (e) (f) (g) A positive self image Positive perception of external events A positive mental attitude Possibility thinking Personal commitment Unquestionable belief in self Creative use of the subconscious mind

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(h)

An intense, sincere desire to succeed in cooperation with others

These principles represent interrelated and progressive steps in order to acquire selfmotivation. Do Common things uncommonly Well 26. If you learn to do the following common things uncommonly well, there is no limit to what you can accomplish in life. It is only limited by your imagination. (a) Have faith that you have within you the necessary personality traits, qualities and abilities. (b) Perceive yourself and external events in such a way that they make you a more effective person (c) Exchange rewards in one-on-one encounters fairly and evenly, and in mutual respect. (d) Learn and apply creative imaging techniques to input appropriate artificial experiences into your subconscious mind. (e) Learn to use your conscious mind in the present for coping with present problems and keep your subconscious mind on stand-by for creative problem solving for the future. Think Positive 27. The process of thinking is what differentiates man from animals. It is a wonderful faculty provided by the God to human being. The only thing that makes us a higher animal is the ability to think. Our best friends and our worst enemies are our thoughts. Thoughts make the whole dignity of man. Every action begins with a thought. It is making the most of what you have to deal within life. It is to look at the positive side of your life and dwell on it. It is to look at the filled half or a half empty glass. We all have positive points in life even in the most gloomy conditions and if the mind can be turned to these, the positive thinking will start by itself. So if you feel that you are defeated and have lost confidence in your ability to win, sit down, take a piece of paper and make a list, not of the factors that are against you, but of those that are for you. If you think constantly of the forces that seem to be against you, you will build them up into a power far beyond that which is justified. They will resume a formidable strength which they do not possess. But if, on the contrary, you mentally visualize and affirm and reaffirm your assets and keep your thoughts on them emphasizing them to the fullest extent, you will rise out of any difficulty regardless of what it may be. 28. True, the blows of life, the accumulations of difficulties, the multiplication of problems tend to sap your energy and leave you spent and discouraged. In such a condition, the true status of your power is often obscured and you yield to a feeling of discouragement that is not justified by the facts. The secret is to fill your mind with thoughts of faith, security and confidence. There is no point in regretting the past. Never do it. However, the mistakes of the past, if any are to be converted into opportunities for RESTRICTED

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the future. And that is what you call positive thinking. There is always a way to handle your difficulty or problem. A summarized step-by-step approach is as follows:(a) (b) Thank God you have difficulties. It is a sign of life. Learn to stand back from your troubles and calmly survey them.

(c) Use your full mind power to analyse your difficulties. Then systematically chip away at it, bit by bit. (d) (e) Think positively about your difficulties. Believe that you can overcome it. Work persistently.

(f) Calmly take life as it comes. Deal with your difficulties with a controlled Mind. (g) Never build a case against yourself.

29. Positive thoughts can be induced in everyone momentarily but that does not help, if they are not sustained. Positive thinking required training and study and along perseverance. You have to be willing to work at it sometimes for long. It is like food. It must be taken daily and in healthy doses to keep the body going. You must remember that there is much more power in your personality that has ever been used up. Release it through the process of regular positive thinking and maintaining a positive attitude all the time.

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CHAPTER VIII ANGER MANAGEMENT FOR EVERYONE Meaning 1. Anger is an emotion. In fact, anger is just an emotion - it is neither right nor wrong to feel it. Anger only becomes a problem for people when it is repressed. Unresolved anger can lead to serious physical and mental health problems such as heart disease, stroke, depression and anxiety. Purpose of Anger 2. The purpose of anger is to alert us to danger and in doing so produce the flight or fight response. In other words, anger is meant to protect us from harm. All of the physical effects you experience when you are angry are there to tell you that something is wrong. It can motivate us to make positive changes in our community or advocate for others. For example, Martin Luther King was motivated by outrage over racial prejudice (some of which he experienced first hand) to start a civil rights movement in America. With this in mind, you can see that anger, in and of itself, is not negative. It is, however, a complex emotion. Anger is usually considered a secondary emotion. When we get behind our anger, we discover that there is always a primary emotion such as fear, sadness or frustration at root of it. Understanding the emotions behind the anger is one way of expressing anger appropriately, but we will discuss this later. Where does anger come from? 3. Anger is usually caused by some kind of perceived or actual injustice, selfish or thoughtless act, hurtful remark, etc. But this is not where anger comes from. Anger comes from inside of you. It is a natural response to dissatisfaction with your environment. Types of Anger 4. According to John Lee, writer of facing the Fire Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, there are basically two main types of anger Present Anger and Suppressed Anger. Present Anger 5. This type of anger is caused by immediate circumstances such as somebody cutting you off while driving, the frustration you experience after missing your plane, or being forced to deal with someone who is being verbally aggressive. The emotional response is in proportion to what has happened. This anger is only a problem as long

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as the circumstances persist. Once the circumstance passes the anger subsides quickly and everyone is able to go on with his or her life as normal. Suppressed Anger 6. This type of anger is destructive. It is left over anger from experiences that we were either unable or refused to deal with at the time. We often express this type of anger inappropriately. Present day events remind us of the experience or some aspects of it which brings back our old feelings of anger. Unfortunately, because this anger is not based in the present and has been allowed to build up over a period of time (sometimes for years) our emotional responses will not likely to be in proportion to the triggering event. As a result, we might overreact or take our anger out on somebody who had nothing to do with the original anger-producing event or trigger. This anger is misplaced. It usually continues to trouble us long after the reminder has passed. You might obsess over it or become extremely depressed by it. Why do people suppress anger? 7. As we grow up, we learn about anger and how to respond to it. Some people learn that anger is bad. In their minds, anger is directly associated with pain or violence and therefore must be avoided. They dont understand that anger, in and of itself, cannot cause someone to act violently. Violence is a conscious choice. Only you can decide to hurt someone else not your anger! Suppressed anger can often be traced back to some type of trauma that we have experienced in our lives such as emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. Bullying during childhood is another form of trauma that often contains suppressed anger. Victims of natural disasters and crime are partially susceptible as well. Other life changing events such as the loss of a loved one, divorce, child custody battles, job loss, etc are other sources of suppressed anger. However, suppressed anger does not necessarily have to be related to a huge traumatic event in your life. For some people, the intense feelings of loss and anger at never having a chance to say goodbye, after a close friend moves away, remain with the person well into adulthood. It is important not to dismiss these types of experiences as being silly or unworthy of exploration. Why do some people seem addicted to anger? 8. Some people are anger junkies. They enjoy or need to experience the short-term pay-offs of aggression in order to get through their everyday life. A definition of addiction which I find useful is that it is "a short term kick followed by a longer-term kick in the teeth"--a reward followed by a punishment. 9. Here are some of the short-term rewards of anger:(a) (b) (c) (d) Creates an adrenaline rush. Provides a sense of power. Provides excitement. Relieves boredom.

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(e) (f) (g) (h) (j) (k) (l) (m) (n)

Makes people listen to you. Enables you to avoid crying or showing vulnerability. Keeps you from facing feelings of sadness or fear. Gets people to do things for you through intimidation. Establishes superiority over others (Im better than you). Puts the blame on someone else, other than yourself . Shows other people that you are not a wimp . Scares other people into submission. Motivates you to get things done.

If you are an anger junkie, try to identify the pay-offs you are getting out of it. Then think about the long-term effects of your aggressive or passive aggressive behavior (e.g. loss of relationships, opportunities, etc.). Now decide if the short-term benefits are worth suffering the long-term punishments. How can I manage my anger appropriately? 10 You can manage your anger and express it appropriately! Here is what you will accomplish once you learn how to manage your anger: 'Healthy' Anger 11. Because anger is not a negative emotion it can be a healthy emotion! Healthy anger lets you problem-solve, not blame. It gives you control, allows you to think and to accept your feelings. With healthy anger, you accept responsibility for your anger. You do not blame others. How do you make anger healthy? 12. Know you are angry. Your body will tell you that you are angry. Pay attention to the sign:(a) (b) (c) (d) (e) Increased heart rate. Red, hot face. Sweaty palms. Wide Eyes (pupils dilated). Knotted stomach. RESTRICTED

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(f) (g) (h) (j) (k)

Tight jaw. Clenched fists. Tense or shaky body. Yelling. Tightness of the throat.

13. Know what is making you angry. What type of anger you are dealing with (present or suppressed anger)? 14. Hint: You can tell what kind of anger you are experiencing by comparing your degree of emotional response to the situation. If you are annoyed, frustrated, mildly bothered, flustered, taken aback, you are likely responding to Present Anger. However if you are ticked right off!, vengeful, or ready to hit someone youre responding to Suppressed Anger. Of course, some Present Anger situations can make you extremely angry. For example, if you experience a major injustice such as losing a child to murder. With this in mind, you will also need to take the situation into account. Ask yourself if your emotions are in proportion to event taking place. Be honest with yourself about this. If the situation doesnt warrant the degree of emotion you are experiencing try to figure out where your Suppressed Anger is coming from. Here are some strategies for emotional release of anger 15. Take a few deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose for five seconds and out through your mouth for five seconds. Repeat the process until you feel calm. 16. Write a letter to the person you are angry at that you never intend to send. Be as irate as you wish, but try if you can to express the secondary emotions behind your anger in the letter. After you are done, you can either tear the letter up or burn it, depending on how you feel. 17. Talk to a close friend who has nothing to do with the situation. One cautionary note, check with the person before you begin to be sure they are prepared to listen. If it is not a good time, ask when would be a better time and make an arrangement to talk then. You will also need to be sure the person is a good listener and is willing to put up with your ranting and raving! 18. If you are coping with a lot of historical anger it might help to write a list of all the people you are angry at and why. Remember you are not planning to share this list with any of the people on it. 19. Scream in the Car - If you do this, be sure that the windows are rolled up and doors are closed. Make sure nobody is around. 20. Twist a Towel Tightly twist a towel using both hands. As you twist, express your anger verbally, say Im angry, I hate you, or whatever else you are feeling. Let the towel absorb your anger.

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21. Dance and Music This is a great way to release anger but it is a bit noisy so you may want to wait until you are alone. If you live in an apartment that has poor sound proofing you may prefer to take it to some other location, such as a secluded woods. Play a piece of music that expresses your anger. Now start dancing in a primitive, passionate style. Stomp your felt on the floor and shake your body. If you have one, you can add a drum or tambourine to the mix. Feel the anger flowing out of body. When you stamp the floor say, Boom, this Anger, Boom, Boom, (name the person you are angry at here). 22. Get back to nature Go to your local forest or wildlife park. Walk or run on the trails what ever you prefer. Use what nature has to offer such as a rocks for throwing (be sure nobody is in its path!), dead branches for beating on the ground, etc. 23. Exercise go for a walk or run to unwind. Only one precaution here Be sure you are not using exercise as a distraction. The object of this exercise (no pun intended!) is to release your anger not suppress it. 24. Beat a Drum Get a drum and pound on it. Please note, all the cautionary notes mentioned in Dance and Music (above) also apply here too! 25. Punch a Pillow Dont forget to verbalize your anger. Yes, you have my permission to yell at your pillow. _________________________________________________________

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CHAPTER IX STRESS MANAGEMENT 1. Introduction. 2. Stress: Historical Perspective. 3. Stress: The Thunderbolts. 4. Stress: Concept. 5. Stress: Definition. 6. Mind, Body And Environment Relationship. 7. Perception Of Stress. 8. Stress Tolerance Level. 9. Classification Of Stress. 10. Biochemistry Of Stress. 11. Myths And Facts. 12. Who Is Vulnerable To Stress. 13. Why Are We So Susceptible To Stress. 14. Is It Possible To Have A Zero Stress Level. 15. Causes Of Stress. 16. Effects Of Stress. 17. Symptoms & Manifestation Of Stress. 18. Coping Mechanism & Management Of Stress. 19. Stress Management Techniques. 20. Quick Ways To Relieve Stress. 21. Conclusion.

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STRESS MANAGEMENT Introduction 1. The transition of India from nomadic tribe to monarchy, democracy & computer age has brought drastic changes which have glory attached to them. These changes have been welcomed with open arms but on a deeper speculation it has been found what achievement we had in the previous ages cant be found in the present era. Life would be simple indeed if our needs are automatically satisfied. Since the dawn of human consciousness, mankind has been engaged in the pursuits of happiness, peace & stress free life. But, expectation explosion & increased complexities have given a hold to the much pursuing mankind with an irrevocable loss of peace, calm & tranquility. The most affected one are the youngsters & children. Few heart shaking examples of this are:(a) If I die tomorrow what changes? Ashwini, 12, asked her psychiatrist.

(b) At Bangalores NIMHANS, one six year-old being treated by child psychiatrist Shoba buries a doll in the sand & runs over it. (c) A seven-year-old boy in Mumbai draws a picture of his family & his eyes looking at them. Those eyes are his : his family never has the time to be with him. (d) There are kids coming to doctors & saying itd be better if they were not there in this world. When asked to show with their hands how much mummy or daddy loved them, most of them have too little space between their little hands. (e) Ronak, an active 10 years old, started packing his things & threatened to run away from home. His school counsellor found that the over-scheduling of his life had left him feeling like a rat on the run. Ronak care close to breaking point. {Source: Outlook, 15 Dec 2003 p 67} In a nutshell, born into a confused new world of unbashed consumerism, transient value system & elevated stress levels, Indias next generation finds its wonder years have slipped away to nowhere land. Growing up is usually a painful adjustment with realities and many to cope which brings rejections falling, grades, psychosomatic aches, self-destructive behaviour, extreme anxiety and poor self-esteem followed by stress & depression. 2. Stress : Historical Perspective. (a) Stress In Ancient Period. A number of concepts developed by ancient Indian scholars related to the phenomenon of stress. Some of those are dukha (pain, misery or suffering), klesha (afflictions), kama or trishana (desires), atman & ahankara (self & ego), & prajnaparadha (failure or lapse of consciousness). (b) Feeling of dukha or stress is experienced by the individual in the course of his interaction, with the world around him. This dukha is of 3 types :RESTRICTED

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(i) Personal Stress (Adhyatmik). Personal stress can again be of 2 types:(aa) Physiological stresses are born out of imbalances between the three fundamental physiologic constituents, namely, vata, pitta & kaph. (ab) Psychological stresses are caused by emotional state of lust, hatred, greed, fear, jealousy and depression. (ii) Situational stresses:- Situational stresses are usually caused by unwholesome interpersonal transactions which may include conflicts, competitiveness, aggression etc. (iii) Environmental stresses:- Occasioned extremes of temperatures, storms, etc. by natural calamities,

It is interesting to note that the body-mind relationship, characteristics of modern stress studies, is emphasized in the Aurvedic (Indian) system of medicine. It has come into wide use in behaviour study only within the past two decades. (c) Stress In Modern Period. The existence & importance of stress was first recognized in USA in 1956. A machine operator called James Carter in Detriot had a nervous breakdown and he sued the company, claiming that the stresses of his job had contributed to his condition. Cartor won. Most of us treat matters of stress as trivial problem & laugh it out ignoring that there could be a link between problems in mind & problems affecting the body. (d) Further the word STRESS is borrowed from physics & engineering because it is said that Stress is pressure per unit area and since stress puts pressure on the human body the word STRESS was adopted in Biology too. 3. Stress The Thunderbolts. In one of the survey conducted by WHO, United Nations children fund following discouraging truths came into the light:(a) One in five of the worlds children suffers mental or behvioural problems. The rapid Socio-economic changes and/or poverty are to blame. (b) Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death in children between the ages of 10 and 15 yrs. (c) Suicide is the third leading cause of death among adolescents & young adults (15 25 years. It is note worthy that suicidal adolescent patients are perfectionist or high achievers. (d) Among 15 to 19 year-olds, suicide rates have quadrupled over the last four decades.

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(e) 140 million people suffer from depression, 24 million suffer from schizophrenia and every year 20 million attempted suicide of which one million succeed in their first attempt. (f) Every 9th person in India suffers from Hypertension. One in every three school children of public school Delhi is also a case of Hypertension. (g) A survey carried out by Maharashtras PTA united forum across Mumbai schools found that 26 out of 100 children between 8 to 10 showed signs of depression. These burning facts are alarm for mankind towards their mental health. 4. Stress : Concept. Stress originates from the French word estrece meaning narrowness, i.e. constriction or limiting of power. The basic opinion of stress is that it is fundamentally a psychological phenomenon with immediate and direct psychological manifestations as well as an experience of discomfort. There are actually two stress concepts: (a) (b) Physiological stress (systematic stress). Psychological stress. (i) Physiological stress. All of us have some potential & capabilities. We also have certain aptitude & attitudes. Demands are made on us by society. We as teachers/parents make demands on our children. Most of the time, when we make demand on our children, we have a tendency to forget that our children have their own capabilities. The result is nothing but an imbalance between the potential of the child and our expectations and all this results in a stressful situation. This may lead to damage to heart, kidney, liver, blood vessels, bones, and skin has been produced by normally non-pathogenic factors intensified through stress exposure. Therefore, in simple words, stress can be stated as a state of imbalance between demands made on us from outside source and our capabilities to cope with them. (ii) Psychological Stress. This stress refers to a state of the individual and the experienced stress is complex. This stress has been used sometimes to designate arousal conditions. There are major differences between individuals in their responses to stress. Psychologically the individual might feel anxious, tense, alienated, depersonalized and frustrated. It is negative experience, which concerns distress, discomfort, dysfunction and negative consequences. 5. Stress : Definition. words:Stress has been defined by various people in different

(a) In the year 1992 Dr. Hans Seyle, a physiologist defined stress as the Non-specific response of a human being to any demand made upon the body. (b) Dr. Peter Tyrer opines that the best definition is- it is the reaction of mind and body to change.

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(c) Many regarded stress as something, which put us under, increased pressure and forces us to act and think more quickly and intensely than we would like. (d) From the various definitions as mentioned earlier we can conclude that stress can be defined in three ways:(i) As a stimulus, which focuses on events or circumstances, which are stressors? (ii) As response which concerns itself with the persons psychological & physiological response to the stressors and is often called strain and (iii) As process which involves stressors and strain but also adds the important dimension of transactions between the individual and the environment. (e) This man-environmental interaction mode of stress suggests that stress can be most adequately described as part of a complex and dynamic system of transaction between the person and his environment. There are five recognizable stages in this system:(i) The first stage is represented by source of demands relating to the person & is part of his environment. (ii) The individuals perception of the demand & of his own ability to cope form the second stage. (iii) The third stage is of Psycho-physiological changes and represents the response to stress. (iv) The consequences of the coping responses comprise the fourth stage and (v) The fifth and last stage is that of feedback. Thus stress results due to gaps between expectations & their fulfillment as a result of trying to achieve too much, too soon, without enough energy. 6. Mind , Body and Environment Relationship. The diagram shows the way in which the three realms-body, mind & environmentrelate with one another. Note that the arrows form circles. These return loops provide the brain with feedback on the impact of its commands through the body (and on the outside world as well). This feedback loops are very important to the coordination of body and mind, in a couple of ways. One way can be troublesome, causing the mind to continue maintaining the body in a state of stress even after the stimulus is long gone. Heres how this happens:-

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(a) The mind perceives a threat, and arouses the body to meet this challenge by releasing chemical messengers. (b) These messengers also have the effect of stimulating the brain itself.

(c) The stimulated brain may then continue to sound the alarm, even though the original threat is gone. (d) If the feedback loop isnt interrupted some way (such as by a relaxation technique or taking a walk), then this self-perpetuating stress reaction may have harmful effects on the body, as well as jamming the circuits of the mind. (e) But feedback performs a very vital function, as well. It keeps the mind in touch with the world, both inside the body and outside. The loops on the map show how the brain monitors and self-corrects its actions. Simply as the mind goes, so goes the body. 7. Perception of Stress (a) (b) (c) (d) 8. Stress is too much work & too little relaxation. Stress is hostility from others. Stress is too little income, to chasing too many outgoings. Stress is feeling bad due to trouble beyond our control.

Stress Tolerance Level. (a) Stress is a part of life and a certain degree of stress is necessary to make us live an active and productive life. It is only when it exceeds the optimum stress level or the individual stress tolerance threshold level that it affects our psychobiological system which if unattached to. sooner or later manifests in the form of one or more multiple diseases. (b) The stress levels experienced are different in different people and depend on individual permanent traits and their threshold levels to stress tolerance. As a common guide, the following individuals are prone to stress :(i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (v) Over sensitive. Over ambitious people/careerists. People who are overly attached with their families. People who are not adequately motivated. Those people who lack job satisfaction. STRESSORS OR

STRESSORS OR LOADS LOADS

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ORGANISATIONJOB &

ORGANISATION JOB &

SOCIAL

INTRAPSYCHIC

SOCIAL

INDIVIDUAL EQUIPPED WITH S.T.L. * MAJOR SURFACE DISINTEGRARATION * STRESS TOLERANCE LIMIT (c) General Adaptation Syndrome.

I NDI VIDU

A L

REAKDOWNS AND CRACKS

Our adaptation to any stressful situation depends on two factors:(i) (ii) Level of resistance. Duration of exposure to stress.

(iii) Stress is manifested through the symptoms of a General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS-Hans seiye; 1930) the characteristics pattern of GAS includes three stages:(aa) (ab) (ac) Alarm Stage. Resistance Stage. Exhaustion Stage General Adaptation Syndrome

Resistance Stage

Level of Resistance

Alarm Stage

Exhaustion Stage

Normal Level of Resistance

Duration of Exposure To Stress RESTRICTED

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(aa) Alarm Stage :- An alarm reaction includes an initial shock phase of lowered resistance and a counter shock-phase in which defense mechanisms begin to operate .The alarm reaction shows early (in its shock-phase) an autonomic excitability, adrenaline discharge and such symptoms as an increased heart rate , decreased body temperature and muscle tone, anaemia (decrease in blood), acidosis ( an acid condition of the blood as it occurs in diabetes), transitory blood-sugar ( temporary increase of sugar in the blood), transitory blood leukocyte (temporary increase in the number of white corpuscles in the blood), followed by an increase and gastro intestinal ulcerations. If these stimulations continue, counter shock appears. This second phase of the alarm reaction is marked by an adrenocortical enlargement and hyperactivity and rapid thymus and other lymphatic involution. (ab) Resistance Stage. A stage of resistance in which adaptation is optimal. Here the symptoms of the alarm reaction seem to disappear. It is possible, however, that they might be hidden by an adaptive systemic response (as of the pitutitary-adrenocartical system). (ac) Exhaustion Stage. If the noxious stimulation still continues, it gives way to the final stage of exhaustion in which the symptoms present in the alarm stage reappear It is marked by the collapse of adaptive responses. Here the person is not able to cope with any kind of defenses. Thus, Selye (1930) operationally defines stress as a state manifested by a syndrome which consists of all the non-specifically induced changes in a biological system. 9. Classification of Stress. Stress can be classified in following different ways:(a) Classification 1. On the basis of time span required for building up of stress we can classify it under two headings: (i) Acute Stress. Stress. (aa) Stress that builds up suddenly is called Acute

Reasons :(aaa) Telephone calls & doorbell ringing in the middle of the night. (aab) Telegrams. (aac) Boss calling you to his office suddenly (aad) Terrorist attack or explosion of IED in vicinity etc.

(ab)

Symptoms:(aaa) Sometimes blackout in front of eyes. RESTRICTED

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(aab) Heart functioning is not proper. (aac) Excessive sweating all of sudden. (ii) Chronic Stress. builds up gradually. (aa) Reasons:(aaa) Difficult Boss who is authoritarian in attitude. (aab) An unmanaged spouse who criticizes everything and quarrel every now & then. (aac) Environmental pollution which affects our physical & mental health. (ab) (aad) Separation from family for a long time. Symptoms:(aaa) Rise in blood pressure. (aab) Anxiety & anger. (aac) Abnormal heart functioning. (aad) Excessive eating or lack of appetite etc. (b) Classification 2. On the basis of degree & effect of stress we can classify it under two headings:(a) Eustress. This can be there because of over joy. Infact, it is a stage of happiness. Eustress keeps us alert about duty and motivate to face challenges. The prefix Eu is picked from EUPHORIA, meaning a sensation of well being. Eustress, therefore, is not harmful as it brings about a sensation of well being. This is positive stress. (ii) Distress. This stress can be there because of sadness. It is caused because of the demands of modern life and anxiety to cope with them. For instance, you go home and mother informs you that one of your cousin is in the hospital with a double fracture. This is negative stress & results in feelings of inadequacy, nervousness, lack of concentration, weakening of immune system etc. It is also hereditary to some extent. (c) Classification 3. On the basis of intensity & frequency of activities done by an individual, we can classify stress under two headings: (i) Hyper Stress. This type of stress is caused because of the hyperactivity and attempt to meet deadlines etc. Anxiety to achieve target and the eleventh hour rush causes hyper stress. As against acute stress, CHRONIC STRESS

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(ii) Hypo Stress. This type of stress is opposite of the hyper stress. This stress is caused by less than optimum activity. Retired persons suffer from this type of stress as well as those who have been denied legitimate work by the organization. (iii) So, whatever an individual does or doesnt, there is always some amount of stress on him. Stress is omnipresent. None can escape stress. That is why, stress is known as Non-specific response of the body to a situation. 10. Biochemistry of Stress. (a) Recent discoveries say that on a typical day in the brain, trillions of messages are sent and received. The messages that are happy, up beat messages are carried by the brains, happy messengers technically known as Biogenic Amine/ Endorphin System. Other messages are Somber & quieting. They are carried by the brains Sad Messengers. Most nerve centers receive input from both types of messengers. As long as this input is balanced, everything runs along on an even keel. (b) Stress, however causes problems with the brains Happy Messengers. When life is smooth, the happy messages keep up with demand. But when too much stress is placed on the brain, the Happy messengers begin to fall behind on their deliveries. As the stress continues, the happy messages begin to fall. Important nerve centers than receive mostly sad messengers and the whole brain become distressed. Consequently the person enters a state of brain chemical imbalance known as overstress. (c) Overstress makes people feel terrible. With sad messages overwhelming the happy messages, a person feels overwhelming by life. People complain of being tired, unable to fall asleep or to obtain restful nights sleep. They have players of aches & pains, lack of energy, lack of enjoyment of life. They feel depressed, anxious or just unable to cope with life. (d) In brief, as long as you can make enough happy messengers to keep up with the stress in your life, you will find stress to be fun, exciting, enjoyable, challenging. In fact, without it you can be bored. (e) However, when the amount of stress in your life is so great that you begin to run out of happy messengers, then bad things begin to happen. You may have sleep disturbances, aches and pains, lack of enjoyment of life & even panic attacks. Now, let us look about Happy Messengers. There are three Happy Messengers: (i) (ii) (iii) Serotinin. Noradrenalin. Dopamine.

(f) Serotinin. The Happy Messengers, Serotinin, is responsible for making sure that your bodys physiology is set for sleeping. If Serotinin doesnt do its job

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properly, you will not be able to obtain a respectful sleep, no matter how hard you try. (g) Noradrenalin. Noradrenalin is concerned mainly with the setting of your energy levels. Proper functioning of Noradrenalin in the brain is essential for you to feel energized. Without enough brain Noradrenalin you feel exhausted, tired, droopy and without energy. (h) Running brain with low Noadrenalin is akin to running your car with a failing battery. Sooner or later, it just wont start. (j) Dopamine. Third Happy Messenger, Dopamine, seems to be concentrated in areas of the brain immediately adjacent to where the major Endorphin [Natural pain killer] releasing mechanism lies. When Dopamine function declines, Endorphin function also declines. Hence, when too much stress failure of Dopamine function, it also causes loss of your bodys national pain killer. (k) Dopamine also runs your bodys pleasure Center. This is the area of your brain that allows you to enjoy life. When stress interferes with your Dopamine function the pleasure center becomes inoperative. Normally pleasureful activities no longer give any pleasure. With severe Dopamine/Endorphin malfunction, life becomes painful & devoid of any pleasure. 11. Myths and Facts. Some common myths and facts about stress are: Myths Stress level of every Individual is the same Stress is always bad for you Status Wrong Wrong Fact Stress varies according to each individual. What is stressful for one individual may not be stressful for another person. Stress is to the human condition what tension is to the violin string: too little and the music is dull and respy; too much and the music is shrill or the string snaps. The issue is how to manage it. Managed stress makes us productive and happy; mismanaged stress can hurt us. You can plan your life so that stress does not overwhelm you. Effective planning involves setting priorities and working on simple problems first, solving them, and then going on to more complex difficulties. When stress is mismanaged, its difficult to prioritize. All your problems seem to be equal and stress seems to be everywhere. No universally effective stress reduction technique exists. We are all different, our lives are different, our situations are different, and our reactions are different.

Stress is everywhere, Not so so you cant do anything about it.

The most popular technique for reducing stress is the best ones.

Not so

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Only a comprehensive program tailored to the individual works. Stress is a mental illness Only major symptoms of stress require attention Wrong Stress is a natural reaction people have due to excessive pressure and competition or other types of demand placed on them. This myth assumes that the minor symptoms, such as headaches or stomach acid, may be safely ignored. Minor symptoms of stress are the early warnings that your life is getting out of hand and that you need to do a better job of managing stress.

I wish this were true

12.

Who is Vulnerable to Stress?.

Researchers have established that there is a definite link between various types of stress & ill health. Now, it is possible to link specific occupations with specific types of stress inducted disease. No one is immune to stress. Only degree and amount of stress may vary. Generally those requiring continues work with the people, e.g. teachers, politicians, lawyers, salesman, doctor, social workers, personal managers etc. Now a days even kids and young children have laid claim to it, making it a universal complaint which cuts across all genders, ages and socio-economic levels. Stress is inescapable for the winner, for the loser and even for those who decide to bask in the Sun and not run at all. In this competitive age, an insulted existence is a non-viable option and is in itself a likely source of stress. Men as well as woman are equally prone to stress. It is seen that materials of stress are much more prominent in urban life as compared to rural life. One can say that stress is omnipresent. 13. Why are we so Susceptible to Stress these days?

Although there is no doubt that stress is killing people, disabling many more, there is one important question that has to be asked. Why are we so susceptible to stress these days? The answer is simple. Our bodies were designed a long, long time ago. We were not designed for the soul of world in which we live today to cope with physical confrontations with saber, Originally we were toothed tigers where 'fighting' or 'running away' were useful practical solutions to every day problems. But now, our environment has changed far more rapidly than we have evolved. We have changed our world far faster than our bodies have been able to adapt. Revolutionary changes in social order, economic set up, life style, attitudes, working ethics and ideas have transformed our world. But our bodies are still the same as they were tens of thousands of years ago. As a matter of fact stress has its origin in the body chemistry, which has remained unchanged since the man came into being. Let us take the example of the 'cave man' of Stone Age. For him to survive was either a ' Flight' or a 'Fight' mechanism. For either he required additional burst of energy. Whenever there was any action of 'Fight' or 'Flight', Pituitary gland would give appropriate signals for secreting adrenalin in the blood stream. This resulted in creation of additional energy for the body to either 'fight' or 'flight'. This way the body could protect itself from the danger within a few microseconds. Over millions of years, the life style has changed. However the body chemistry has not changed. In present day context, whenever a superior scolds a RESTRICTED

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subordinate, the latter's body chemistry acts in the same way, as it did in the cave man, when he was threatened by a tiger. Any stimulus of threat results in secretion of adrenalin, which provides additional burst of energy, to meet the emergency. But there is no physical emergency. This additional burst of energy is not only useless for him but is harmful. He can neither fight physically with his superior nor run away from this world. This results into the ill effects of stress. It is important to remember that the body chemistry does not distinguish between the anxiety causing, pleasant or unpleasant situations. In any of these situations, body response is the same, i.e., secreting additional adrenalin in the blood stream and its causative actions inside the body resulting into various stress induced diseases. Stress is like electric power. It can make a bulb glow. However if the voltage is higher than what the bulb can take, it burns out the bulb. Likewise the phenomenon of 'Burn Out' is the harmful effect of stress. Burnout can be defined as the end result of stress experienced, but not properly coped, resulting in symptoms of exhaustion, irritation, ineffectiveness, inaction, discounting self and others and also the health problems like hypertension, ulcers and heart ailments. Our spouse, friend or colleagues will often indicate to us whether we are under stress or not. 14. Is it Possible to Have a Zero Stress Level?

Unfortunately no. Some amount of stress is necessary for any activity to be successful furthermore what salt is to food, stress is to life. Stress is an important stimulus of human growth and creativity, as well as an inevitable part of life. Stress below Stress Tolerance Level adds anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines, competitions, confrontations, and even our frustrations and sorrows add depth and enrichment to our lives. Therefore goal is not to eliminate stress but to learn how to manage it and how to use it to help us. So, zero stress level is not desirable. 15. Causes of Stress. Causes of stress vary from individual to individual due to uno interaction between the individuals personality & environment available to him. Stress can arise in any area of life at work in family relationships, financial affairs, and sexual relationships or in ones relationship with oneself. (a) Causes of stress with respect to:(i) (ii) (iii) 16. Students. Professionals And Army Personnel. Normal Indian Adult Population.

Causes of Stress With Respect to Students (a) Parents/Family. (i) Over expectations.

(ii) Nuclear families result in unbalanced emotional & social development. (iii) Uncaring of childs interest , capabilities & aptitudes. RESTRICTED

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(iv) (v) (vi) (vii) (viii) (b) (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (v) (c) (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (v) (vi) (vii) (viii) (ix)

Comparison among siblings. No time to spend with their wards. Brought up by aayas or in crche. Social status of family. Bad parenting.

Teachers. Lack of patience & tolerance. Faulty methods of teaching. Neglect of individual differences. Corporal punishment hurts to childrens self. Biased behavior of teacher. Gloomy Side of Higher Education. Unplanned and rigid curriculum. Corruption like linkage of exam papers cause stress among sincere students. Cut throat & blind competition. High fees structure put stress on economically deprived students. Overcrowded classes. No time to play and other recreations. Increasing tendency of tuition classes. Lack of vocational grounds. Overload of home assignments.

(d) Examinations. Every psychiatrist says that because of increasing competitions parents want to fulfill their own ambitions through their children. Every parent expects top rank is quite a status symbol. There cant be 50 toppers in a class of 50 students. These all expectation drama act as stressor for a child. Therefore parents need counseling.

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(e) Uncertainty of Jobs. More than 294 universities, 11831 college, 4.26 lakh teachers and 88.2 lakh students but their future is in dark due to lack of vocationalised aspect in education ,act as a great stressor among youths. (f) Media. The learning process of a child is accelerated to a great extent by the media resulting in their pre-mature maturation that are resulting in serious behavioural changes. (g) Social Transition. Society is a dynamic force that is for man, of man & by man, wherein with time old values get transacted for new . Children are the most malleable elements of any society. Any social change for the better or worse leaves a lasting impression on them. Often they are not able to decide whether to go with the tide or follow the value systems of the gone days. This tug of war causes great psychological stress on the children leading them to take extreme measures & untold consequences :(i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (v) (vi) Lack of tolerance. Lack of sports and games activities. Lack of positive thinking. Ego problems. Lack of creativity. Intake of junk food and junk thoughts.

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CAUSES OF STRESS WITH RESPECT TO PROFESSIONALS AND ARMY PERSONNEL 17. The causes of stress among the professionals & army ( officer cader & PBOR) are manifold & apply in varying degrees. causes of stress may be divided into four categories:(a) (b) (c) (d) 18. Professional. Organizational. Personal/ family. Environmental.

Professional. (a) Bad Boss. A person who lacks compassion and is in sensitive to the feelings of his subordinates, who promotes his own personal agenda at any cost, is intolerant to any dissent, is vindictive, lacks transparency, faith and trust in his subordinates and derives sadistic pleasure in keeping his subordinates under consistent pressure and fear thereby causing a lot of stress amongst his subordinates. (b) Indecisive Boss. Worse than a bad boss is an indecisive boss, who keeps his subordinates on tenterhooks, in a state of suspended animation, thereby generating unfathomed tension. (c) ACRs. It particularly effects the officer cadre. In order to allay feelings of uncertainty and apprehension in the minds of officers, there is a need to eliminate ambiguities of any sort in the system of reporting and assessment. (d) Career Courses. The requirements to qualify in career courses like staff college, which is perceived to make or mar ones career puts an officer under tremendous pressure. (e) Supers -session. There are a large number of officers who are unable to take supers session in their stride. As a result, they become victims of depression. (f) Loneliness. A senior officer often leads a lonely life. It is more pronounced in field areas, where he does not even have his family with him to share his personal problems or break his loneliness. (g) Zero Error Syndromes. A person works is bound to make mistakes. No work no mistake. Unfortunately, a zero error syndrome has started to set him in the armed forces. This curves the initiative of the subordinates due to a fear of making mistakes.

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(h) Excessive work on staff. We have over the years become paper tigers. Junior officers on staff are hard pressed and often spend up to ten to twelve hours a day in the office. This leaves them with little time to socialize or be with their families. Physical and mental exhaustion of officers on staff is quite common. (j) Inability to cope with responsibility. When officers, JCOs and NCOs are entrusted a task for which they are not trained a groomed they come under pressure for fear of not coming up to the expectations of their superiors and subordinates. (k) Negative staff. A negative and insensitive staff, which revels in saying NO and thrives on quoting rules and regulations, rather than taking a proactive and positive stance, can generate lot of frustration and stress within rank. (l) Lack of Recognition. Lack of Recognition of ones efforts in service leads to stress, tension and frustration, further leading to lack of interest in ones job and tensions at home. Recognition of ones efforts and an occasional pat at the back is a very big stress reliever. 19. Personal /family. (a) Marital discord. Most officers wives are well educated and want to pursue a career, which the service conditions of their husbands do not permit. Separation and the restricted environment of the service to which they are not used to at times gives rise to mental problems. (b) Financial Problems. Most of the army officers today hail from a middle class background, and are not well off financially,. Some, in trying to keep up the living standard fall in to a debt trap, which leads to tension and stress. (c) Separation from the Family. Prolonged separation from the family is a major cause of stress at all levels. Lack of regular news from home and constant anxiety about the welfare of their family adds to the psychological stress of the soldiers. (d) Retirement Blues. The uncertainty of the future at the time of retirement causes deep anxiety. It may be due to: (i) (ii) (iii) 20. Ailments suffered by self\family. Education of children. Marriage and settlement of children.

Organizational. (a) Lack of adequate accommodation and education facilities. Our officers, JCOs and Jawans are equally concerned in providing proper education and upbringing of their wards in order to prepare them for the highly competitive RESTRICTED

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world. Frequent postings\moves with their associated problems of accommodation and education impose a major constraint on all ranks in fulfilling their obligations towards their families. (b) Self Respect. The modern generation officers and OR are highly aware and conscious of their self-respect. Trampling with their self respect by way of inflicting humiliation, adversely affects their psyche leading to stress related disorder. (c) Fair Play\ Justice. The subordinates expect their superiors to be fair, just and even handed in their dealings including providing equal opportunities for professional advancement. (d) Annual Medical Board. The stringent medical norms which can mar an officers career if found unfit in the annual medical board is a source of tension particularly amongst the senior lot. (e) Poor Living Conditions. The general living conditions of the Jawans in most of the stations is poor and in operational areas they are substandard. Message gets reinforced on the psyche of the soldier that no body cares for his welfare. They feel that while they are psychologically more conditioned to face hardships in operational area, there is no justification for the inadequate and poor living conditions in peace areas. (f) Leave Management. Management of leave particularly in respect of Jawans is a vital function of command. Mismanagement of leave leads to a lot of frustration and avoidable tensions. (g) Unfulfilled Promises False promises, assurances, indecisiveness and unpredictability on the part of leaders, delay in meeting our justice and denial of legitimate dues of individuals, are some of the other causes, which can spread dissatisfaction and stress amongst Jawans apart from causing loss of faith and trust in the organization and superiors. (h) Peace Station Routine. There is a general feeling that the routine in peace station is characterized by employment of troops on unproductive activities, leaving little time to attend to their domestic requirements and professional\intellectual advancement. There is a discernible lack of job satisfaction leading to avoidable frustration and stress. In fact most of the other ranks prefer tenure in difficult areas to a peace station despite the physical hardships and the problems of separation. 21. Environmental Factors. (a) (b) (c) (d) Administrative Factors. Management Factors. Operational Factors. Social and Psychological Factors.

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(e)

In CI Environment.

22. Causes Of Stress In CI Environment. Today a significant component of the Army is deployed in CI environment incl High Altitude Area. Prolonged exposure to a CI environment makes everyone, whether officer or Jawan, susceptible to stress. Stress factors peculiar to CI environment are given as under: 23. Operational Factors. (a) Inhospitable Terrain and Climate. In most of the field areas the terrain and climate in which troops are employed to counter insurgency is inhospitable and harsh. Operations are conducted under adverse weather conditions without adequate logistic and special eqpt. Communication is a major problem and some of the parts remain cut off due to which the soldiers stay under stress. (b) Lack of Mental Respite. Combating insurgency is a 24 hour job. Militants can strike at any time and therefore the level of alertness required at all times is very high. The routine on post, Quick Reaction Teams, Road Operation Parties and move at short notice give the man no respite during the period he is deployed in such ops. This leads to fatigue and exhaustion and affects his psyche. (c) Fear of the Unknown. The possibility of getting killed any time and a constant threat of losing a limb, puts tremendous pressure on the soldier. Fear of the militant who is indistinguishable from the locals and can strike at any time in any manner creates a feeling of insecurity in the minds of the tps. 24. Prolonged Deployment. (a) Change in Duration of Tenure. Many a times move of a unit deployed In CI area is delayed due to local operations, thereby causing uncertainties and building up of stress. (b) Induction of Addl Bns. Due to requirement of troops in CI environment, at times units undergoing peace tenure are inducted into operations. Such tenure tends to affect the morale of tps and also drastically reduces hard earned peace tenures. (c) Inadequacy of Eqpt. Lack of special equipment to combat militancy has a demoralizing effect on the tps and erodes their confidence. Officers and men are generally under stress as to why authorized items are not being made available in time even in operational areas. (d) Frustration due to No Results. No amount of hard work is recognized in CI environment unless accompanied by few dead bodies of militants and some weapons. This kind of attitude breeds frustrations in troops especially when there is no contact with militants for weeks. RESTRICTED

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(e) Response to Casualties. It is generally seen that while casualties inflicted on the militants are a cause for publicity and celebrations, response to own casualties is different. Many times senior officers add to the agony by instituting avoidable inquiries of such incidents. As it is, the soldier is already under stress, and inquiries of this nature further compound the problem. (f) Loneliness at Posts. This factor is more pronounced in the HAA where posts are isolated. A prolonged spell of loneliness eventually affects the mental state of the individual. (g) Inaction. This factor again particularly applies to HAA, where inaction coupled with extreme cold leads to mental stress. 25. Social & Psychological Factors. A soldier is always worried as to what would

(a) Compensation to casualty. happen to his family if he got killed.

(b) Lack of Recognition. The soldier feels that he is doing everything for the country, but once he steps into the civil street nobody has a word of praise for him. The civil administration is completely unsympathetic and unresponsive. He is then filled with a sense of frustration, helplessness and anger at the apathy displayed by the public. (c) Individual Psyche. A few individuals are weak and have a very low breaking point. Such persons are easy victims of stress related incidents. (d) Pressure of Human Rights Violation. The fear of perpetuating a human right violation and judicial harassment impose restrictions on the actions of the men and also make them vulnerable to militants during operations. (e) Lack of Conviction Towards the Cause. Most of the soldiers are fighting militancy just for the sake of ijjat and iqbal of their unit. Todays militant is very often tomorrows leading politician. Lack of understanding of politico-military aim coupled with a hostile local population and lack of support from society adversely affects the motivation of the Jawan and he comes under stress. 26. Causes of Stress to Normal Indian Adult Population. S. Dubey conducted a study on stress producing life events and identified 52 life events experienced by normal Indian adult population. Those life events, which threaten the basic biological, needs have been ranked higher than events, which create socio-culture conflict. These life events (stressor) are as below: -

RANK 1 2. 3. 4. 5.

LIFE EVENTS Death of spouse Marital separation Death of a close family member Significant increase in income Sent to jail RESTRICTED

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6. 7. 8.

Marriage (of self) Disappointment in love Difference in sexual relationship

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RANK 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16 17 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44.

LIFE EVENTS Spouse unfaithful A major theft in the house Serious personal illness Academic failure Demolition Son daughter running away Losing of job Loss of business Retirement from job Marriage of daughter Being pregnant Criminal or legal offence Criminal or legal offence against family members Menopause Exit of close family Marital reconciliation Illness of a close family member Death of close friend Significant increase in income unexpectedly Borrowing money (Rs. 2,000/- or more) Marriage of son Argument/fight with spouse Trouble with employer/boss Trouble with in-laws Partition of the joint family Moving to another city Change of religion Birth of a child Child getting married Leaving home for spirituality Promotion Close family members starting work. Wife starts of leave work Close family member stopped working Leaving school Moving to house in the same city

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RANK 45. 46 47. 48. 49. 50. 51. 52.

LIFE EVENTS Getting too much dowry Admission of child to school/college Grand child born Getting too little dowry Minor violation of law Forecasts of important future changes Celebration of major festival Death of cow or dog in household

Thus, stress is the result of a misfit between a persons skills & abilities & demands of the job and a misfit in terms of a persons need supplied by the job environment. (French, Rogers &,Cobb ,1973) 27. Effects of Stress / Individual Glow (up and Burn Out Syndrome). Dr. Udai Pareek coined the terms, glow up and burn out to refer to two consequences of stress. . For the burn out syndrome he drew the analogy with a burning light which when excess energy is applied to it results in a burn out, particularly if the energy is limited and there is no safety device like a fuse. He defines burn out, as. the end result of stress experienced, but not properly coped by the individual, resulting in symptoms of making blunders, absenteeism( social withdrawal) road rage, exhaustion, irritation, ineffectiveness, inaction, discounting self and others, and problems of health (hypertension, ulcers, heart problems/ailments) and drug use. 28. Symptoms and Manifestations of Stress. Depending on the personality traits and each individuals level of stress tolerance, all ranks experience stress at different levels. When it crosses the threshold level, it reveals itself in the form of physiological and behavioural manifestations; which, if unchecked, could lead to actual and lasting physiological or psychological ailments. Some of the common symptoms exhibited by persons under acute stress, which could be psychological behavioural or physiological or both, are highlighted as under :(a) Psychological/Behavioural Manifestations. (i) Rarely laughing or smiling, or forced smile. (ii) Suffering from nervous tics.

(iii) Incoherence in speech, repetitiveness in talk or performance, highpitched voice.

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(iv) Becoming increasing short-tempered and irritable; extremely sensitive to criticism. (v) Developing explosive ranges or violence, reckless aggression against source of stress. (vi) (vii) (viii) (ix) (x) Eating when not hungry. Driving fast and dangerously. High pitched voice. Displays total lack of interest towards primary duties. Reduced communication with others (withdrawal symptom).

(xi) Lack of concentration; mental confusion; feeling unable to cope; difficulty in making decision; constantly having gloomy pessimistic thoughts. (xii) Depression.

(b) Physiological Manifestations. Physiological manifestations which may follow behavioral response could be in the following forms :(i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (v) (vi) (vii) (viii) (ix) (x) (xi) (xii) Headache. Backache and other body aches. Nausea. Diarrhea. Insomnia or disturbed sleep. Skin diseases. Intestinal troubles, digestive problems, acidity. Anxiety, tension, mood fluctuations, restlessness. Constantly feeling tired and lethargic. Increased blood pressure or hypertension. Effects due to excessive smoking and drinking. Diabetics.

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(c)

Less Commonly Experienced Health Problems. (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) Heart Problems Heart Burns/Strokes. Psychosomatic Diseases. Eye Strain. Asthma

29.

Coping Mechanism and Management of Stress. (a) Mechanism of Stress Management. Al Siebert, author of The Survivor Personality (Perigee, 1996); who notes: There is no stress in a job; its just stuff happening. The distress; that you may feel is not a result of what actually exists objectively in the job. It is a result of how you perceive what is happening. Siebert believes there are two types of people resilient people and less resilient people. The former type thrives on challenge. These are people who actually become stronger in pressure situations, he notes. Less resilient people wither from challenge. Sieberts recommends, When we experience something upsetting, identify one or two things we can do immediately to minimize the impact of the event, he suggests, this helps us to avoid feelings of helplessness. When less resilient people experience problems, their first reaction is to get upset. Then they try to find ways come down. Resilient people ignore these two steps. While they may experience a temporary, minor emotional reaction to a problem, they immediately move to the problem-solving mode. They see such situations as learning opportunities, rather than as stressors. Stress cannot be banished but measures can certainly be taken at the organizational and individual level to contain or reduce the level of stress. (i) Organizational Measures for Reducing Avenues of Stress. (aa) Motivation. It is essential on part of Commanders at all levels to ensure that all entitlements of men are met and hardships shared equally by all concerned to keep the motivation levels high. (ab) Increase Communication. One of the important methods of reducing stress is to encourage vertical and lateral communication. Commanders must be open to suggestions and keep their avenues of communication open. (ac) Quality of life. While frequent postings and disturbances are inevitable in service life, measures should be taken to improve quality of life, accommodation and allied facilities including schooling and higher education facilities. (ad) Improve Working Environment. There is a need to create a healthy working environment. Inculcating proper time RESTRICTED

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management must discourage working in haste. Poor time managers create unhealthy stress with serious long-term repercussions.

(ae) Create Transparency. There should be a clear and transparent policy on matters such as postings and promotions. (af) Educating Spouses. Wives of Officers and men must be made aware of all aspects of army life including certain inherent compulsions. It is important to impress upon her that life in the army is totally different and domestic harmony will depend a lot on her ability to adjust. (ag) Safeguard the Rights of the Jawan. Soldiers face many problems in their home towns related to land, property or aspects concerned with their families. Commanders should interact with the civil administration to solve the problems of serving soldiers. (ah) Leave. Denial of leave when due adds to frustration of troops. Leave planning must be done meticulously to ensure that leave is granted to all ranks as and when due. (aj) Introduce Formal Education on Stress management. Formal education on stress management will go a long way in making individual aware of the causes and means to over come various problems connected with this malady. (ak) Realistic Medical Standards. Medical standards need to be realistic and commensurate with age of the individual and the job requirement. (al) Reduce Stringent Qualitative Requirement (QR) for Appointments. Some of the officers can serve in certain appointments and stations due to stringent QR attached to some of the appointment. We need to be rational and practical in laying down QRs. (am) Build Self Esteem. Respect of the soldier has grown tenfold after the recent Kargil War. The soldier should be made to feel proud of wearing the uniform and for the task he is performing. The media hype though difficult to sustain at the present level should not be permitted to die down. (ii) Useful Tips At Individual Level To Minimise Risk Of Stress. It is the individual himself who can overcome his stress. Just as there are many sources of stress there are many possibilities for its management. Hence the measures which an indl can take are more important, which are given as under: -

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(aa) Do Not Create Stress for Self. Most daily stresses we undergo are self created. Do not be over concerned with trivial issues and lose sleep over nothing. (ab) Financial Security. Learn to live within your means. A little bit of financial planning with contingencies to take care of unexpected emergencies is a must. (ac) Be Yourself Out of Uniform. Develop outdoor hobbies, interact with people from other vocations so that you are not talking shop at all times. (ad) Dont Compare. Do not compare yourself, your wife and your children with someone elses. Almost all of us have images of how life should be? God has made every individual different. (ae) Improve Your Ability to Communicate. Misunderstandings often arise due to lack of communication. If any apology is required to resolve a tangle, do so. Speak, clarify and make yourself understood. It will help you get along better with your colleagues. (af) Forgive and Move on. Holding a hurt over days and weeks is very stressful and affects both mind and body; learn to forgive and move on . This is extremely important for mental peace. (ag) Learn to Accept Criticism. In the army most criticism is constructive and should be accepted as such. If you are subjected to the other type namely harsh and destructive, learn how to control your emotional reactions by adopting a calm and rational attitude. (ah) Seek Help When Under Stress. Facing stress alone is much more damaging than facing it with the support of people who care. Hence, you must open up. (aj) Do What You Desire. Earmark a minimum of 2 hrs a day to yourself to do what you desire. (ak) Dont Brood. Constantly brooding about the past or worrying about the future events increases the amount of stress in your life. It is pointless to think about events over which you have not control. (al) Do Something New. New activities and events add variety to life, reduce stress and help you stay healthy. (am) Time Management. Tension often builds when we are unable to complete a task in time . Dont waste valuable time on regrets of the past and worries of future because only present is eternal. According to Zen philosophy past is history future is mystery and present is the only reality. it is gift i.e. present of God . Make its best use . Live for today as every thing happens Today. RESTRICTED

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So do daily auditing. Time management is a very important facet of command. (an) Socialize. Dont be a loner. Isolation has been tied to failure to cope adequately with stress, heightened vulnerability to illness and even premature death. (ao) Be decisive. Indecision prevents you from taking action, causing a loss of a sense of control and thus intensifying stress. (ap) Be Assertive. Stand up for your decisions, express your feelings, disagree with others when you feel differently, give, as well as accept, compliments. (aq) Get Some Sleep. Lack of adequate sleep can make you moody, angry and more vulnerable to illness and the daily stressors that stalk you. Take 7-8 Hrs sleep every night. 30 Mins sleep in the afternoon is very good to charge your brain and will reduce fatigue. Try to maintain consistency in your sleeping schedule. (ar) Adapt Your Environment. Color, lighting and noise are all elements that engage and influence our senses. They can work against you, adding stress- or for you, as environment stress reducers. (as) Encourage Yourself. If you are inclined to blame yourself for your problems- even when they are not your fault- you may be guilty of negative self-talk, which is a great stress maker. Those who accept mishaps as largely routine and normal occurrences in life and who talk to themselves in positive terms about these events have higher self-esteem and much lower stress levels. (at) Choose Winners. Seek the company of those who are optimistic and have high self-esteem. They tend to have low stress levels and contribute to lower stress levels to those around them. (au) Reward Yourself. Go to the movies, browse in a bookstore. Those who reward themselves by engaging in something pleasurable realize a boost in the disease-fighting quality of their immune systems for several days. (av) Establish Rituals. People who have high stress in their lives tend to live surrounded by mental and physical chaos. Establishing rituals can help prevent and reduce stress by saving time. It can be a comfort factor in times of stress when predictability and certainty reassure us that no matter how bad conditions get, some things remain constant. (aw) Nurture Your Spirituality. Religious or spiritual beliefs give us a context larger than ourselves, which can provide us with perspective when we are deeply stressed. Spirituality neednt take place in a formal place of worship. It may mean no more than RESTRICTED

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communing with nature or taking quite, reflective time out of your day to contemplate something more than lifes mundane stresses. (ay) Take Note. Writing down your feelings in a dairy may help relieve emotional stress. This is especially helpful for those who have trouble talking about problems. In a study conducted by psychologist James W. Pennebaker, Ph. D., of Southern Methodist University, participants wrote for 20 minutes a day over four consecutive days about issue or emotions that were causing them stress. Those who stuck to the exercise showed improved mental health and were better able to cope with stress. (az) Play Around. The next time you are feeling anxious or stresses, take a break and do some thing childish : find crayons and draw a picture, rent a favorite childhood movie , borrow some fun childrens book or find a few old favorite toys. (aaa) Slow Down. Try moving, talking and behaving in a relaxed, slower manner and see if it doesnt let some of your stress ebb away. For instance, drive ten miles per hour slower; pause at the table before you eat ; take an after-work shower etc. (aab) Get A Pet. Pets are great stress busters. After heavy work if you see your pet it will act as anti stress tonic and you would immediately smile & start playing with the pet. A John Hopkins Medical Center study found that fifty out of fifty three people with pets were alive a year after their severe first heart attack, while only seventeen of thirty-nine of those without lived a year. {source: stress (causes, prevention & cure} by Dr. Subramanium p.7.} (aac) Take Vacations. Its an ideal time to gain perspective on your day- to day life and to put aside the stress load for few days. Its important to get a total change of scenery, a new environment. Workers who use their vacations to work at home are not recharging nearly as well as they would if they were away from home for the same period. Therefore go on short leave & take breaks. (aad) Take up a Hobby. If you pursue a hobby you genuinely like, youre apt to get absorbed in it that you dont notice time passing. youll forget stress and reach a level of total relaxation. (aae) Delegate. Those who dont learn to delegate become overloaded with unfinished tasks, making them stressed, less productive and isolated by their excessive expectations. (aaf) Be In Control Of Your Finances. A survey of 11,000 adults in prevention magazine showed the number-one source of stress is worry over personal finances. Research also shows that

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people trying to maintain lifestyles they cant afford are more likely to have health problems. (aag) Dont Procrastinate. It lessens productivity, not only compounding stress but also causing the stressful by-products of guilt, anger and low self-esteem. and the worse stress gets, the greater the tendency to procrastinate becomes. (aah) Live By Lists. Having a daily written list of what you expect to do will help you become more realistic about your schedule and remind you of tasks you do not want to forget .By listing a task, you also relieve stress by removing the thought from your mind, which helps to lessen mental over load, a common occurrence in stressed people. (aaj) Eat Right. What you eat can promote or relieve stress and help or hinder the body in how it handles the physical stress response. Stay healthy and stress-resistant by taking time out for meals, eating at regular times, avoiding sugars and fates. If you are stressed out and need a break from anxiety, try foods low in fat and protein and high in complex carbohydrates for a calming effect. If youre looking to concentrate your energy to help get you through a stressful day, look for food that enhances alertness. (aak) Happiness. To avoid stress, it is very important to be happy and contented in life. Happiness is a state of mind, which has its origin in the attitude towards life. The greatest and simplest way to be happy is to make other happy. You are happy when you: (ai) (aii) (aiii) (aiv) (av) (avi) Avoid unhealthy worries. Feel satisfied in life. Minimize your materialistic desires. Trust in God. Take notice of simple things. Be friendly to all.

(avii) Show care for others. (aviii) Appreciate yourself. (aix) Live in present and not on past achievement.

(aal) Laugh. It is of the healthiest antidotes to stress. When we laugh, even smile blood flow to the brain is increased endorphins (pain killing hormones that give us a sense of well-being) are released, and levels of stress hormones drop. Smile, laugh & to be cheerful are very essential to minimize risk of stress. RESTRICTED

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Even Gandhiji could laugh. He has said, He would have committed suicide if he did not have a sense of humor. Sarojini Naidu called him, Mickey Mouse. Someone asked Gandhiji, Why do you travel by third class? He replied, Because there is no 4th class. (aam) Control on Relationship. Real human happiness does not lie in material pleasure. Material pleasure is temporary/transient pleasure.- which means SADHNA Meditation. Therefore learn to achieve creative happiness by control on relationships as relationships give rise to expectations & expectations always reduces joy. Try to find happiness in actions. (aan) Uproot Jealousy. Jealousy is a basic emotion like love, hate, anger. So therefore it has to be controlled for healthy self. There are six ways to keep jealousy away: (i) Accept yourself: - What you are! No point in comparing others pains, beauty, length, figure (girl) & professional competency. Avoid it. (ii) (iii) Know your potentials & accomplish your dreams. Be proud of what you do get satisfaction.

(iv) Let contentment come: Never look for material gains all the time. Always enjoy what you have. (My kids are my biggest achievement. money cant buy for you great kids.) (v) Healthy competition- Strengthen desire & attain achievable goals. (vi) Take pleasure in others success- this will keep negative thoughts automatically away. However the positive aspects of jealousy is Creative Jealousy which means mild jealousy. It gives birth to aspirations & one start working hard to acquire & fulfill his/her aspirations. (aao) Make your life regular as clock work. If you suffer from overstress, you have disrupted the function of your Body Clock. Re-setting your Body Clock is vital if you are to feel, sleep soundly, and awake refreshed. Give yourself a definite wake up and sleep time. This sets a frame of reference for your Body Clock. It will take two or three weeks to synchronize your Body Clock to your schedule. So, stick to your schedule! (aap) Be Realistic Unrealistic beliefs can add to your stress. Dont expect everyone to like you or share your opinion. Dont expect to be right

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all the time. Dont expect to be all things to all people. Moderate your expectations of yourself and others. Be willing to be human. (aaq) Manage Anger:- Anger is a normal and necessary emotion. How we deal with it makes all the difference J.kenfield morley once said , the size of a man can be measured by the size of the things that makes him angry An angry man becomes known by his anger, and not by his accomplishments. Apart from impairing social relationships, anger also causes damage to the body and mind. Though anger is natural, controlling anger is not natural & must be learnt. This is important because, if you dont control anger it will control you. We must express anger but in productive way. (aar) Learn To Juggle. For many couples, the biggest challenge is to balance work and home life. Here true partnership is critical. In the bad situation, both partners should negotiate and arrange for work, maximize desire, such as building up of large bank account, arranging for one person to be home more for the kids, prepared to make changes, even scarifies if , say, child can a perpetual problem or if one person is in a terrible job. (aas) Eat more vegetables. Eating more vegetables can increase brains serotonin production. This increase is due to improved absorption of the natural & safe amino acid L-Ttryptophane. (aat) Use Of Pick -Me Ups. When we fell ill, we naturally try to do to make our self-feel better. Nature has provided us a lot of this pick-me ups that we can eat, drink, or inhale. Some of the common pick-me-ups that overstressed people use are: Sugars: --glucose (honey), lactose (milk sugar), fructose (fruit sugar), & sucrose (cane sugar) etc. Caffeine: -- in chocolates, sodas, teas, & coffee etc.

All these pick-me ups work by chemically boosting of one or more of our happy messenger levels, thus, thus helping to temporarily restore balance to over overstressed brain. A Pick-Me Ups can temporarily let us sleep better, help relieve an ache and give us energy. (aau) Stop Your Put Me Downs. Tranquilizers & calmatives will prevent your body from restoring its happy messengers. Unlike Pick-Me RESTRICTED

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Ups, which can usually be taken in modest amounts without harm, put-me downs should be avoided altogether. Before stopping any prescription medicine, however, always, check with your doctor as many of the Pick-Me downs must be tapered off very slowly, rather than stopped abruptly. (aav) Burn Calories. A research says that, those persons are more prone to stress that are suffering from obesity. For a stress free life burning of calories is a must. Therefore one has to be active. The details of burning calories for a person having 60 kg weight in one minute would be:(ai) (aii) (aiii) (aiv) (av) (avi) Sitting Standing Desk Work Walking Dancing Swimming 1cal 2cal 3 Cal 2-4 Cal 6-6.5 Cal 12 Cal 10-11 Cal 7-8 Cal 40 calories.)

(avii) Jogging/Running (aviii) Tennis ( 1 sugar cube contains

30. Stress Management Techniques. There is no magic remedy to control stress, but the best medication comes from within. Anything that helps you to relax is helpful. Relaxation and not worrying constantly about minor problems will ensure that you lead a healthy and stress-free life. Hence the best way to avoid stress is to stay cool. Some of the techniques or methods recommended for stress management are given in the succeeding paragraphs: (a) Yoga. In Sanskrit yoga means joining or union between the individual and divine. It is 5000 years old. It is a form of exercise based upon the premise that the body and breathing connected to mind. It increases blood flow in the arteries of brain and helps in reduction of stress along with increase in level of concentration and controlled emotions. Yoga acts as a valve to open the higher nature of man. The commonsense will start flowing through the intellect, mind and body, percolating into the thinking, feeling and acting processes so that the persons slowly transform into better individuals. Thus the inhuman becomes human. Mismanager becomes Manager & distressed person becomes happy & contented person

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Yoga practices like: Asana (i.e.. Posture), Pranayamas (i.e Breathing Practices Intended To Influences Vital Forces), Kriyas (. i.e. Cleaning of the internal organs), Mudras(i.e. movement of facial features. Bandhas (i.e. neuron-muscular locks. All these practices are intended to develop a certain type of awareness within oneself. This in turn is expected to bring about a change in the emotional and visceral functions and through them, a change in the intellectual and somatic functions of individual. Some of the asanas recommended for control of stress are Trikon Asana, Virbhadra Asana, Padma Asana, Sheersh Asana, Shav Asana and deep breathing exercises. (b) Meditation. Term meditation is originated from Latin word meditari means to reflect upon. The meditative state is one in which there is a deep centric and focusing upon the core of ones being. The aim is to concentrate on a thought in such a way that the thought itself disappears and the source of thought is reached. There is the quieting of the mind, body and emotions The meditative state can be achieved through daily practice of structured activity. It automatically leads to physical and mental muscular relaxation, a slower heartbeat and more regular breathing.

(c) (i) (ii) (iii) (d)

Acupuncture As A Relaxation Response. Stress leads to psychosomatic disorders, since Emotional states are often expressed in terms of bodily reactions. Acupuncture does help in tranquillization and psychic elation and allows one to relax. Acupuncture does not depend on drugs; it is a safe, simple, economical and yet effective therapy with hardly any side effects. Exercise. (i) Physical exercise is necessary in order to keep the body healthy both physically and mentally, and is the best antidote for stress. It provides recreation and mental relaxation. (ii) Emotional strength is a by-product of regular exercise, and self-confidence is a natural consequence. Exercise eases nervous tension and anxiety by providing an outlet for pent-up feelings of aggression and hostility. (iii) Today after nearly 2000 years, modern medical researchers are demonstrating that Hippo crates, The father of medicine was right when he said that walking is mans best medicine. Walking is the most efficient form of exercise and the only one an individual can safely follow all his life. Sufficient walking is as important for the circulation of blood as sufficient motion for a stream of water.

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(e) Tune Out Tension. Research with hospitalized patients has shown music can alleviate pain and anxiety. The calming is threefold: we are distracted from worries, transported by images and memories we associated with specific tunes and able to cue a relaxed mood by playing music that has calmed us in the past. The right music can take you from highly intense state to relaxed state in a short time. The right music is generally instrumental rather than vocal and tends to be performed by instruments, such as flute, harp, and piano or string instruments. Many people finds the sounds of nature combined with musical harmonies to be very relaxing. A sample of such music is presented hereby through an audiocassette. Audio - cassette (f) Auto Suggestions. Giving assertive suggestions to own help an individual to prepare for and to deal with stressful situations. Such statements reduce stress by strengthening cognitive skills by decreasing level of cartisole hormone. Level of cortisole hormone is inversely related with level of confidence. Some of the statements for auto suggestions may be- I will win; I am happy: wonderful: great: Everything will be fine; life is great; make the most of it; Things dont get better by worrying about them; I want to be sure to stick to what s really important etc. (g) Social Support. Interpersonal conflict is the most common stressor in daily life. Steiner (1986) revealed that the feeling of being cared about, valued and loved by others can help to make people less vulnerable to stress. Social support by parents, friends and society encourage people to develop new ways to discharge emotions & cope during highly stressful period. (h) Imagery. It is the use of pleasant or relaxing images to calm the mind and body. By controlling breathing and visualizing a soothing image, a state of deep relaxation occurs. (j) Transcendental Meditation. Population in west By Maharshi Mahesh Yogi (1960) TM in which mediator has to repeat a special sound (mantra) while sitting in a relaxed position for 30 seconds in a single sitting. During meditation, the heart rate slows down and reduces muscular tension and stress. (k) Relaxation Response. The repetition of a word or phrase after completion of each cycle of breathing in and out for 20 minutes daily evoke the opposite body reaction to the stress. It reduces blood pressure and stress very sharply. Time and daily practice are required to elicit the desired relaxation state. (l) Taichi. Taichi is a meditation in motion. It is a material art. Soft, flowing movements that stress precision and force characterize it. Since this technique involves physical exertion, check with your doctor before beginning. (m) Magical Aromatherapy. Aromatherapy is the use of essential oils from plants, flowers or wood resins to normalize mood, reduce stress and promote health. Treatment includes sniffing, ingestion and application to skin usually with massage. Bio-electrical energy (non-physical and natural) merges with scent and is programmable by visualization.

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(n) Toning. Toning is a practice which refers to the intentional elongation of a vowel sound using the voice. When one can do this for a long period, the vowel sounds stimulate the limbic area of the brain to reduce stress. Toning lead us to a state of contentment in a safe and fully and aware state of mind by synchronizing the brain waves and balance within 3 to 5 minutes. Toning can be done either individually or in a group. (o) The Shri Yantra. The Shri Yantra is an ancient symbol from the Hindu tradition called the YANTRA of Creation. A YANTRA is a visual representation of resonate sound frequencies, used as a tool for developing a state of attunement between individual consciousness and universal consciousness. It has been found that the sacred Hindu syllable OM when correctly intoned into a modern device called tonoscope (a machine that transforms sounds into three dimensional visual representation on a computer screen). produce a circle which is then filled with concentric squares and triangles, finally produced when that last trace of the M have appeared an image of SHRI YANTRA. (p) Bio Feed back. A modern technological version of meditation is Biofeedback. . i.e. Machine assisted meditation. Involuntary psychological responses could be voluntarily controlled through the information about bodily processes. Feedback device lights up every time our heart beats, brain waves, muscle activity and body temperature on a screen. Clients undergo through a training session in which they learn to regulate their heart rate even when they are no longer getting the electronic biofeedback. Biofeedback people learn to control internal processes by using self-statements or specific mental images; these in turn trigger specific physiological reactions.

(q) Massage: - Massage therapy is used geriatrically as well, based on the assumption that when tension causes your head to pound ,you rub your temples or press hard into the muscles at the back of your neck. Massage is thought to improve sluggish circulation. Massage is useful to realign a body that has become Badly organized through life stresses & strains. It can relax muscles, ease muscle spasms and pain, increase blood flow in the skin and muscles, relive mental and emotional stress, and induce relaxation. And, it just feels good. There is no psychology only physiology, which favors the strong relationship between mind & body. (r) Practice FENG SHUI It is the traditional art & science of living in harmony with our natural surroundings. FENG SHUI can recognize problems in a home or office that have a negative impact on our health & well being. It also helps in the accumulation of positive energy around us. 31. 20 Ways to Relieve Individual Stress. Apprehension and anxiety are the most common causes of internal stress in this modern era. Most people feel that they have too little leisure time and too much daily stress, as they juggle a career, family, friends, never-ending to-do lists and society But in spite of lifes demands, here are some simple and effective steps which can reduce daily pressures.

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(a) Power Questions. Begin the day with power questions. Rather than jumping out of bed and rushing to start your day, take a few minutes to ask yourself these questions. (i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (v) What am I happy about in my life now? What am I excited about in my life now? *What am I proud of in my life? *What am I enjoying most in my life right now? *What am I committed to in my life right now?

Answer these questions to yourself you can answer them out loud, or write the answers down- to start your day in the right frame of mind and to remind yourself of how perfect today is. (b) Recharge yourself. Go some-where else for lunch. Get out of the office and enjoy your noon meal in a park. Use this time to be with nature. Try this once or twice a week. Enjoy basking in the sun in winter, while you are having your food. Try the cool shadow of a tree in summer. Eat slowly, enjoying your meal and letting the fresh air rejuvenate you. (c) To err is human. Remember, you will make mistakes. They are called lessons. And you learn from lessons. Many people are for ever beating themselves up because they forgot a meeting, forgot their lunch, only worked out for 20 minutes, had a piece of coffee cake or did not complete their to-do list. The important thing to remember is that we all make mistakes, and that we will make mistakes. It is our job to focus on solving or learning from the problem or mistake and not wallow in quit or self-pity. (d) Serenity prayer. Carry a serenity prayer with you. Choose it for yourself. If you find that a problem, start with this one: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Carry these words with you and memorize them. (e) Appreciate yourself. Give yourself a much-deserved pat on the back. Each day, take a moment to pat yourself on the back, for all the things you have done. This will shift perspective, helping you to appreciate the great balancing act you pull off daily while, working, parenting, volunteering, maintaining social life, caring for elders, etc. (f) Image of peace. Create an image of peace in your mind. Several times during the day, pause briefly to create a peaceful image in your mind. For example, picture yourself flying not in a plane, but you yourself flying like a bird over mountains, meadows, forests, and oceans, gently gliding across the sky admiring the view below. The more you practice this technique, the easier it will be for you to relieve daily stresses.

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(g) Read. Reading is a great way to escape, educate yourself and to expand your horizons for personal and professional growth. If your life is hectic, this is a great way to relieve stress. You are now doing something for yourself. Read at lunchtime, in the evening (instead of watching TV), and in bed before you go to sleep. Consider using audio books that you can listen to on your way to and from work. (h) Smile. Greet everyone with a smile. This will make others feel good about being with you. In turn, smiling will give you a deep sense of ease calm and peace. smile is a curve which makes everything straight. (j) Check how you breathe. Are you breathing deeply? When we are relaxed, our breathing is slow and even. However, when we are anxious or upset, our breathing becomes shallow. When you noticed yourself becoming stressed, say to yourself, Stop. As you breathe in, repeat the word, Shaanti (peace) or say something that brings peace to you. As you breathe out, smile. While letting your shoulders drop and your hands relax. Repeat this sequence several times. It certainly helps. (k) Exercise is a must. Experts note that exercise is effective in burning the excess adrenaline that fuels feelings of anxiety and stress. Exercise also releases the bodys natural chemicals, which block anxiety and pain. There are many benefits from taking exercise. These include improving our physical and mental health, stress- busting, anger control, weight control, reducing depression and enhancing our self-esteem. Avoid over doing it! By grading training program into manageable chunks and avoid setting difficult goals. So, take brisk walk during your lunch hour or get your butt to the gym for a stress-busting weightlifting workout. Head to the gym after work to work off the stress of your day. (l) Think positively. During a day, when you face a crises, think, Challenge. Remember, it is all in your perception of the situation that determines how stressful it is. Approaching any stressful event in this manner will boost your energy positively. So, the next time you face a conflict, think in positive terms. When you face an obstacle, thing of it as an opportunity. (m) Respect others point of view. Put yourself in the other persons shoes. Try to see a conflict or difference of opinion from the other persons point of view. Remember, the other person is right too. When you see a situation from the other persons view, you gain a different perspective, and, quite possibly a solution. Most of the time you will find your anger disappearing. (n) Beware of what you drink. The coffee or soda you drink throughout the day, can be disastrous for your mental health. Too much caffeine can cause shaky hands, restlessness and irritability, all of which increase stressful feelings. (o) No one is perfect. Do the very best you can, right now. This is another way of learning to be less-than-perfect. Trying to be perfect leads to destructive behaviour and procrastination. So do not try to be perfect. Just try to give your best. In other words, commit to completing your task or project by giving your all. That is excellence the commitment to completing, Just do it.

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(p) Offset negative energy. Interrupt your disruptive habits with peace habits. As soon as you begin to feel angry, hostile, cynical, skeptical, irritable or impatient, repeat a word that can offset the negative energy. Some examples include peace, love, hope, faith, joy, and patience. (q) Reminisce over happy memories. In a time of stress, look back and remember a pleasant experience or a satisfying moment that brought you great joy. Your wedding, the birth of child, a time when you were publicly recognized for an achievement or something similar release them for the purpose of helping yourself feel better. (r) Listen to music. The right music can take you from highly intense state to relaxed state in a short time. The right music is generally instrumental rather than vocal and tends to be performed by instruments, such as flute, harp, and piano or string instruments. Many people finds the sounds of nature combined with musical harmonies to be very relaxing. (s) Simple living. Simplify your life. Permanently cut out, say three projects, tasks, responsibilities, should, could, goals, wants, habits or routines that are not necessary. Delegate or systematize twelve tasks, activities and habits that you do not think much about, but that waste your life away. Go deep with this. Even go as far as tossing out your personal to-do list. Remember it takes time. Be patient but locust. (t) Do not bring work problems home. Leave your cares behind at the office. You and your family will feel better, and you will return to work refreshed, energetic and more creative. (u) Power question to end. End your day with these power questions: What have I given today? What did I learn today? How has today added to the quality of my life or how can I use today as an investment in my future? What can I do at once to turn myself or the situation around ? Allow yourself to evolve, as you explore and discover your own techniques to reduce stress during the workday. Start by humming the song Hum Honge Kaamyaab..Ek Din. (We shall overcome. one day). 32. Conclusion. To conclude the symposium Ladies and Gentlemen, All of us undergo stress at sometime in our life. Having stress is not unnatural and in fact some amount of stress motivates us and helps us do better in our lives since we do things more deliberately when we are under stress. But having stress more than our tolerance limit has adverse effects on the health, hence should be avoided. Being human beings we should not only stay stress free ourselves but it should also be our endeavor to

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make a stress free environment for others and assist those who are under stress by helping them in whatever way we can. 33. Complete prevention of stress is neither possible nor desirable, because stress is an important stimulus of human growth and creativity, as well as an inevitable part of life. The best form of prevention appears to be parental modeling of healthy attitudes and behaviors within the family. 34. It is important to know and recognize the signals of stress. As it is easier to resist the negative effect of stress by eating properly and getting sufficient sleep and exercise. 35. The best stress reduction system is the one that works for the individual. Whether stress can be relieved by laughter, mellow music, repetition of a single word, self massage, vigorous activity, or simply by doing everyday chores in a mindful state of heightened awareness, it is important that stress be recognized and managed every day. Studies have shown that regular relaxation eventually makes the body less responsive to its stress hormones and acts as a sort of natural tranquilizer. We all can build their own immune defense against the stress response and all relaxation-based therapies to reduce stress are virtually free of serious risk. lastly, I would like to say that we all are instruments in the hands of God. We make our daily plans and when these plans do not work, we are stressed. These days, people have to be taught to accept and be grateful without forgetting the theory of , Karma- nishkam,-as the Bhagwat Gita has taught us :KARMANYA VADHIKARASTEY MAA FALESHU KADACHANNAHA Keep Working Without Worrying About The Results.

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CHAPTER X LEADERSHIP WELL THOUGHT OUT GUIDELINES BY FIELD MARSHAL KM CARIAPPA, FIRST INDIAN C-in-C DONTs (An address delivered by Field Marshal Sir William Slim. GBE, KCB, DSC, MC, the then Chief of the Imperial General Staff, to the Officers at Fort Knox, USA.) 1. I have chosen to speak to you on leadership, but I am little diffident for two reasons. The first is, that in any body who has had any command talks about leadership, he is awfully inclined to talk about himself and that gets horribly boring. I try not to, but I probably shall. The second thing is that I shall very often sat where you are now sitting, and to get up at this time in the morning to come and listen to a foreign general talking about something that a lot of people have talked to me about already is not really my idea of a happy morning. 2. I have been very lucky in my service. In getting on for 40 yrs of service, I have commanded every thing from a section of six men to an army group of a million and a quarter and believe me while it gets sometimes more difficult and sometimes easier, the bigger your command, the essentials of command leadership are always the same. It doesnt matter whether you command ten men or ten million men. If you are going to be a leader you have got to have certain things. 3. Leadership is a mixture of example persuasion and compulsion. If you ask me to define what leadership is, I should say it is the projection of your own personality so that you get men to do what you want them to do even if they arent very keen on doing it themselves. Leadership is the most intensely personal thing there is in the world, because leadership is plain you. I have told you that leadership is the projection of your personality, so it is not much good starting off to be a leader unless you have got personality and you have got to have a certain qualities. The first of these is courage, the next is will-power, the third is initiative. 4. First of all, courage, we all thank God, you and I, come of races which have not failed for want of courage. We can look back on our history and we neednt fear for the courage of the race, or our races, but an officer must accept the greatest hazards. In addition to the ordinary physical courage, an officer is required to have a courage of two kinds, much more than the men he leads. Now the first thing that an officer must have is the courage that goes on. You have to go on being brave, any body can be brave for five minutes, but it takes something to go on being brave for five weeks. That is what the officer has to do, that is what his men look for when things are bad, they look to the officer, we can all get along all right when we are winning. There always comes a time when things go wrong-when your aeroplanes are shot out of the sky; when your guns run out of ammunition; when it is cold and its wet and your men are hungry, and when a RESTRICTED

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chaps heart sinks down into his empty belly. When that happens, it doesnt matter whether you are the general commanding an army or the officer commanding a platoon or section, you will find-a lot of you have found it-you will find there comes a pause and your men just look at you. They want to know what to do, and they want to know how to do, and they look to you to tell them, to lead them. That is the test unless you have thought of it and practiced it. Sometimes it is very difficult. It has happened to me men have looked at me to see what I was going to say and I havent known what to say. 5. I stepped out of a tank once which was the only means of communication I had, and standing outside that tank there were three of my subordinate commanders, a couple of staff officers and one or two other chaps. The situation was bad. We had got a division cut off and nothing to get it out with. It didnt look as if we should last very long, as I stepped out, I saw these fellows waiting, They did not do anything- They just looked at me. I did not know what the hell to say. But I had to say something to cheer them up, So I said well Gentle men, it might be worst, and on of those fellows said How?. The only thing I could think of answering was, Well, it might be raining and by golly in an hour it was. Well, I dont hold that up to you as an example of leadership, but it is the sort of thing that does occur, the sort of thing you have to steal yourself against-that moment when the courage and morale of the men you lead falters, and you, the officer, it doesnt matter whether you have one bar on your shoulder or a couple of eagles-you are the man who has got to put that courage and that morale back into them. For that you need long-term courage. 6. The other kind of courage that you have got to show as an officer is moral courage. Moral Courage, believe me, men I have known who have had moral courage have had physical courage as well. I can give you a very small example of morale courage in your every day life. A junior officer passes an enlisted man who ought to have saluted him, but he doesnt say anything because, first of all, perhaps he is bit shy and he doesnt say anything because he is afraid that if he stops this big husky doughboy, he may get a bit of lip from him, and then there is trouble. The real reason why he doesnt do what he knows he ought to do, is because he is frightened, because he hasnt got the moral courage to do it. You want to start young and practice it, because unless you have got moral courage, you wont be much good as an officer. 7. The second quality I talked about was will-power. Your job as an officer, is to make decisions, to tell people what to do. Well, it is not very difficult sometimes to know what you want to do, the difficulty is to see that it is carried out. when you give an order or make plans that you want carried through, you will find there are an awful lot of things that will turn-up to oppose it. First of all, there is the enemy. Well, that is all right; you expect them to be like that. I remember a long time ago in the First World War, in 1915, when they kept on asking us for reports. We were up in a front line trench and they sent us up a big form to fill in. One of the question was What is the attitude of the enemy?. One of the young officers in my regiment filled that in as hostile. The form was sent back to him with a reprimand, and he was told to fill it in again. He sent it back altered to still hostile. 8. You expect opposition from the enemy, but you will get it from all sorts of other places as well. You will get opposition from your own side; you will get opposition from people who want to do it in another way; you will get opposition from your own staff, especially your administrative or logistical staff, who in my experience, jolly good chaps as they are, always tell you anything you want to do is quite impossible. Of course too, you will get opposition from your allies. When you fight in the next war, you will probably RESTRICTED

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fight with allies, and some of them will be worse than the British. Allies are frightful people. They are narrowing minded. They cant see the big picture. They have extraordinary ways of doing things and really they dont appreciate how broadminded, how sound, and how big hearted you are. When you begin to feel like that and you will-I used to sometimes when I was discussing things with JOE STILWELL-when you feel like that just remind yourself that you are an ally, too. All you have got to do is to walk around and sit on the other side of the opposite you. When you have realized that, start again, and you will get all right. As a commander you will have all this opposition, opposition of every kind, and you have to have the strength of will to break it down and force your plan through. Without strength of will, a commander is no use at all. But there is a trap in it. I have seen some very good fellows fall down on it. You have got to distinguish between plumb obstinacy and strength of will. You must keep a flexibility of mind so that trickiest things to do, and when you solve the problem of keeping a balance between strength of will and determination and flexibility of mind, you are well on the way to being quite a big a chap. But will power is an essential of any commander. 9. The next thing I said you need is initiative. Now initiative is very simple. It simply means that you dont sit down and do nothing and wait for something to happen, because, if you do that in war, it will happn all right, and it will be most mighty unpleasant. The way an officer shows initiatives really depends on how much he thinks ahead. Your job is to be several jumps ahead of your men. If you are a platoon or section commander, You probably think only half hour ahead. If you are a company commander, it may be matter of hours; a battalion commander, perhaps a day, and if you are an army commander, you are probably thinking three months ahead. The higher you go, the farther ahead you must think, but whatever you are, whatever your rank, you have got to think ahead of your men. That is the only way you will get initiative, that is the only way you will make things happen instead of just have them happen to you. So think ahead, and keep the initiative. 10. The fourth quality is knowledge. Now you and I set ourselves up to be officers. You have got bars and leaves and stars on your shoulders, and I have a thing on mind you have never seen before, but it all means that we are officers. We have no business to set ourselves up as officers at all unless we know more about the job than the men we are leading. If you are a junior officer commanding a small sub-unit, you ought to be able to do everything that you cant. Just go out behind the hut and practice until you can. 11. You will see here in this school of yours all sorts of things which will make you more efficient killers and more efficient soldiers, but the whole lot isnt worth two-pence if the men who handle it arent right and if the men who handle it are not properly led. The first bit of knowledge you have got to get if you set yourself up as a leader is how to deal with men. Get to know your men, learn which man is the sort of fellow that needs a little encouraging: which responds when you go around your posts at night, and put your hand on his shoulder and talk to him about his home town: which men wants barking at: and which is occasionally the sort of fellow who wants a good kick up behind. Know your men. The basis of all leadership is knowledge of men. 12. If you have those qualities that I have given you those qualities of courage, willPower, initiative and knowledge- you will be a leader. People will follow you, but there is something else that you have got to have something that will make men follow you when things go wrong. If you have these four qualities you will be a leader, but you RESTRICTED

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wont be a good leader for good or for long. You have got to have one more quality, and that is self-sacrifice. If you have the quality of self-sacrifice, your men will follow you not only in good times, that is easy, but in bad times. 13. I remember after a bit of a battle- one of the many battles I lost- I was told that a particular battalion had not done well, and so I went along to see why. I found this battalion just behind the battle line, where they had been brought out. The men were sitting about, they were very, very tired, were very dirty, a lot of them were wounded. They were hungry and miserable. I looked around, walking amongst those men, and I could not see any officers amongst them. I went around a corner and I found little bunch of officers. They were sitting there fed. Then I knew why that was a bad battalion. You as officers, you will put the honour of your own comfort, your own well-being last, and last all of the time. 14. If ever you have that kind of leadership with that ingredient of self-sacrifice in it, then your men will follow you anywhere. The sort of men you lead are worth their weight in gold.

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CHAPTER XI LEADERSHIP PRINCIPLES Introduction 1. Leadership principles are guides which an officer should observe for exercise of leadership. These principles have emerged from practice and experience over the years and enable to become effective and successful leader. Possession of leadership traits simplifies application of leadership principles. The method of applying leadership principles is known as leadership technique. The leadership technique is dependent on factors like the personality of the commander and the type of the situation. Aim 2. To teach leadership principles.

Leadership Principles 3. Know Your Job. (a) Seek a well rounded military education through attendance at schools of instruction and thorough independent reading research and study. (b) Seek out and foster association with capable leaders. Observe and study their actions and application of leadership techniques. (c) Broaden your field of knowledge through association with officers and men of other arms and services. (d) Seek opportunity to apply knowledge through the exercise of command. Real leadership is acquired only through constant practice. 4. Know Yourself and Strive for Self Improvement. (a) Analyse yourself objectively to determine the strong and weak points of your character. (b) Recognise your weak points and make an effort to overcome them.

(c) Ask, when appropriate, the candid opinions of others as to how you can make the most of your desirable qualities and eliminate the undesirable ones. (d) Profit by studying the cause of the success or failure of other leaders, past and present. (e) Develop a genuine interest in people, acquire the human touch.

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5.

(f) Cultivate cordial relations with members of the other arms and services and with civs. Know Your Men and Attend to Their Welfare. (a) See the members of your command and let them see you. Be friendly and approachable. (b) Develop an intimate knowledge and understanding of your subordinates through personal contact and available records. (c) Take interest yourself in the living conditions of the members of your command, including their family environment, food clothes and accommodation. Give personal attention to the personal service especially those concerned with the personal welfare of individuals. (d) Provide for the spiritual welfare of your command, by supporting religious activities. (e) Protect for the health of your command by active supervision of hygiene and sanitation. (f) Determine mental attitude of members of your command by frequent informal visits, and by using fully all available sources of information. Administer justice impartially to all without fear or favour. Where punishment is necessary, award it:(i) (ii) (ii) (iv) Be fair, consistent and impersonal. Punish in private, with dignity, and with human understanding. Never award degrading punishment. Avoid punishing a group for the fault of an individual.

(v) Always make the individual feel that the punishment is temporary and that improvement is expected from him. 6. Keep Your Men Informed. (a) Explain to your principle subordinate why any particular task must be accomplished and how you propose to do it. (b) Assure yourself by frequent inspections and visits that subordinate are transmitting the necessary information to men. (c) Keep your principal subordinate informed of plans for future operations, subject only to security restrictions. (d) Disseminate information concerning the capabilities of your weapons compared to those of an active or potential enemy. Where the enemy has an initial advantage, show how this can be overcome.

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(e) Ensure that the troops are informed of the capabilities and limitation of supporting units, arms and services. (f) Be alert to detect the spread of false rumours. Counter rumours with truth. (g) Build confidence and esprit-de-corps by exploiting all information concerning successes of the command. 7. Self Example. (a) Be at all times physically fit, mentally alert well groomed and correctly dressed. (b) Master your emotions. The commander who is subject to intemperate bursts of anger to periods of depression will have difficulty in gaining and holding the respect and loyalty to his subordinates. (c) Maintain an optimistic outlook. The will to win is infectious. The leader fosters it by capitalising on the capabilities and successes of his command, not on its failures and limitations. Maintain an air of outward calmness. The more difficult the situation the more important this becomes. (d) Conduct yourself so that your personal habits are not open to censure. Coarse behaviour and vulgarity are the marks of an essentially weak and unstable character; these together with unpunctuality and a tendency towards selfishness and self indulgence in luxuries not available to the command in general, are inevitably resented to by all ranks. (e) Cooperate in spirit as well as in fact. Cooperation must work in two directions. It arises from a whole hearted desire by all members to further the effective operations of the team. (f) Exercise initiative and promote the spirit of initiative in your subordinates.

(g) Be conspicuously loyal to those below you as well as to those above you. Support those under you as long as the individuals concerned have been discharging, their duties completely. The commander, who seeks however, to protect an incompetent subordinate from correction by a higher commander, is being himself disloyal. Loyalty is a primary trait of leadership and demands unqualified support for the policies of superior officers, whether the individuals concerned personally favours them or not. (h) Avoid the development of a clique of favourites. While it is difficult to avoid being partial to subordinates who have rendered loyal and superior service over a period of time; the temptation to show partiality should be vigorously resisted. (j) Be morally courageous. The commander who fails to stand his principles where the welfare of his command is concerned or who attempts to avoid the responsibility for mistakes of his command, will fail to gain or hold the respect of associates or subordinates.

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(k) Share danger and hardship. A leader who has elements of his comd subject to danger or hardship of any kind, should visit them as often as possible to demonstrate without ostentation his willingness to assume his share of the difficulties.

8.

Ensure the Accomplishment of the Task (a) Through study and practice develop the ability to think clearly and to issue clear, concise and positive orders. (b) Encourage subordinates to seek immediate clarification about any point in your orders that they do not understand perfectly. (c) Check with your subordinates and assistants to determine if there is any doubt or misunderstanding about the task to be performed. (d) Supervise the execution of your orders.

(e) Make every means possible available to your subordinates to assist them in accomplishing their mission. 9. Train the Men. (a) Ensure by inspections and training exercises that your command is being trained in accordance with training programme and doctrine prescribed by higher authority. (b) Ensure that battle drills and procedures are perfected.

(c) Ensure that all training is carried out with a purpose and the reasons for it are stressed and understood by members of the team. (d) Ensure that each element of the command is acquainted with capabilities and limitations of all other elements, thereby developing mutual trust and understanding. (e) (f) Ensure that team training is carried out under realistic conditions. Demand the highest standard of discipline and team work in all training.

(g) Avail of opportunities to train with other units, both of the arms and services. 10. Make Sound and Timely Decisions. (a) Develop a logical and orderly thought process by constant practice in making appreciations. This should not be restricted to military problems but also to those of every day life.

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(b) As far as circumstances permit, plan for every contingency that can be reasonably foreseen. (c) Consider the advice and suggestions of your subordinates before making your own decisions. (d) Announce your decisions in time to allow your subordinates to make necessary plans. 11. Seek Responsibility. (a) Learn the duties and responsibilities of your immediate senior.

(b) Seek different kinds of assignments which will give you responsibility and command experience. (c) Take advantage of any opportunity which offers increased responsibility.

(d) Perform every task, large or small, to the best of your ability. Your reward will consist of increased opportunity to demonstrate your fitness to perform higher more important tasks. (e) Tell your subordinates what to do, and how to do it; hold them responsible for results. Delegate and supervise but do not intervene except when urgently necessary. Avoid usurping the prerogatives of your subordinates. (f) Provide all possible personnel with frequent opportunities to perform duties of the next higher subordinates. (g) Be quick to recognise accomplishments of your subordinates when they demonstrate initiative and resourcefulness. (h) Correct errors in the use of judgement and initiative in such way as a encourage the individual. Avoid public criticism or condemnation. Be liberal however, in openly giving praise which is deserved. (j) When requested by those under your command, give help and advice unstintingly. (k) Ensure that your subordinates are assigned position commensurate with their demonstrated or potential ability. (l) Be prompt and fair in backing subordinates to the limit until convinced otherwise, have faith in each subordinate. (m) Demonstrate to your command that you are ready and willing to accept responsibility. 12. Employ Your Command According to its Capabilities. (a) Know, understand and apply the tactical doctrine laid down. RESTRICTED

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(b) Keep yourself informed as to the relative operational various elements of your command. (c) Be sure that the tasks assigned to subordinates are reasonably possible of accomplishment but do not hesitate to demand their utmost effort when necessity dictates. (d) Analyse any task assigned. If means at your disposal appear inadequate inform your immediate commander and request for additional means. (e) Make every effort to equalise tasks proportionately over appropriate periods of time, among the several elements of your command. 13. Accept Responsibility for Your Action. (a) Remember that you are responsible for all that your command does or fails to do. (b) (c) Accept justified criticism. Adhere to what you think is right; have the courage of your convictions. CONCLUSION 14. In small units the leader can influence and direct his men through close personal contact. The application of leadership principles will vary with the personality of the commander, the size of his command and the situation.

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CHAPTER XII LEADERSHIP TRAITS INTRODUCTION 1. The effectiveness of a ldr can be measured by the amount of influence he is able to exert on the activities of a gp in an effort to mov towards a pre-determined goal. The style of leadership may vary with the gp or the sit in hand. There are, however, certain indl characteristics or attitudes of a person which enable him to ex influence in an eff manner. These are known as traits and incl qualities like courage, endurance etc. 2. The conventional apch to the study of leadership has been gen based on traits. Certain qualities of the indl like initiative were supposed to be inherent and transferable from sit to sit. This seemed to imply that those indls who lacked certain inherent attributes initially could not be considered as potential ldrs. Consequently, the very idea of imparting leadership trg to indls who did not have dormant leadership traits was itself questioned in certain circles. This, in fact was the basis of the often discussed question, "Are ldrs born or are they made?". 3. While the possibility of inculcating certain traits in indls who did not possess them earlier, may be a debatable issue, it is a fact that all great ldrs of history have come to be associated with some predominant trait or the other. eg when one thinks of Gandhiji, the characteristic of selflessness comes to one's mind. Similarly Churchill can be associated with tenacity and Shivaji with courage. 4. Biographical studies of ldrs through the ages help us to iden certain traits which go with leadership. This does not imply that all ldrs possessed all the reqd traits to the max extent. Nor does it means that certain predominant traits were possessed by them to the highest deg within the their gp. To cite an example, while ldrs are gen found to possess more than average intelligence, they may not necessarily be the most intelligent in the gp. 5. What is true in the case of well known ldrs is that the handicap due to lack of certain traits was more than compensated for by their str in other traits. It is also evident that different traits have been brought into play in varying deg depending upon the nature of the msn, the composn of the gp and the reality of the sit. 6. The advantage of the trait oriented apch to leadership trg at this stg is that it will enable us to make a conscious effort to iden the dormant traits in ourselves. There is a need for us to appre what these traits are and in what they can contribute towards one's ability to lead. AIM 7. The aim of this lesson is to enable the trainees to appre the significance of imp leadership traits.

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Leadership Traits 8. The imp leadership traits are discussed in the following para, alphabetically.

Alertness 9. Alertness means quick mental reaction to a sit. Expl of opportunities as and when they occur on a battlefd contributes in a large measure to success. Bearing 10. Bearing denotes physical appearance and deportment. Bearing has nothing to do with physical size and str. In the armed forces, it refers particularly to soldierly bearing, conduct, physical fitness and smartness. Ldrs are invariably emulated by their followers and a ldr's bearing exercises a dominating and permeating influence on them. 11. Your appearance and manner must indicate confidence. The confidence which you are able to exhibit in a comb sit, is reflected in your men also. When your tps see that your bearing is one of confidence, despite an unfavourable sit on the battle front, it contributes to their gen morale to a large extent. Too much severity and strictness of manner towards your men will tend to minimise the sympathy and confidence which you must have from them. Self control is an imp aspect of your bearing. You should remember that you have to control yourself first before you can hope to control others. Courage 12. Both physical and moral courage are imp for a ldr. Physical courage makes a man disregard personal danger and impels him to undertake tasks even in the face of death. We have no dearth of instances in our history when physical courage has been displayed by tps in battle. 13. Moral courage on the other hand is the will to do or say something which you are convinced is right, w/o worrying about consequences. It springs from a human beings spiritual aspect who does not attempt to pass the blame on others. He is the one who has moral courage. This type of courage helps you to rise in the esteem of your men and makes you acceptable to them as a ldr, in the normal course. 14. What are the methods of cultivating courage? The psy of fear has been extensively studied and the following measures are suggested:(a) (b) (c) Analyse and control the emotion of fear through self discp. Force yourself to prac doing those things which cause you fear. Do not let yourself exaggerate the circumstances leading to fear. RESTRICTED

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(d) Stand for what you consider as right in spite of any unpopularity which might result. (e) Admit your mistakes and take the full blame for your action.

Decisiveness 15. A person who gen avoids taking decisions and is inclined to postpone them as along as possible, is not likely to generate any confidence as a ldr . Battles are never won by those who lack the ability to make sound and quick decisions. Indecisiveness would be perhaps the greatest handicap on the battle fd. Even a wrong decision may be better than no decision at all. 16. Some of the methods of cultivating decisiveness are given below :(a) Analyse facts, decide on a plan and issue orders with confidence. decisions under similar

(b) Study how great ldrs have made circumstances and apply the underlying principles. (c)

Avoid hesitation and take the best courage available.

Dependability 17. Dependability is the same as reliability. You are considered dependable if you can be relied upon to complete a task entrusted to you. Dependability reduces and almost eliminates the need for supervision. 18. Dependability can be built up by deliberate effort. Make a prac of carrying out all instructions of your superiors to the best of your ability in time. 19. Always be willing to shoulder resp, even if it interferes with your convenience. Let business before pleasure be your motto. Endurance 20. Endurance, both physical and mental, is an essential characteristic of a ldr.

21. The old age saying "Sound mind in a sound body" still holds good. A ldr who is not able to keep up his men in a comb sit will not be able to sustain their confidence physical endurance is the ability to push one's body beyond its normal fatigue level. Mental endurance on the other hand is the ability to push one's thinking process beyond one's normal capacity. In battle, there comes a time when both sides come to a stg of physical and mental exhaustion when what matters most is who will endure just that much longer. 22. Endurance at higher levels of comd differs from that at lower levels. What matters for a sr cdr is the spirit and determination even under prolonged tension - a refusal to buckle under a long period of stress. RESTRICTED

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Enthusiasm 23. Enthusiasm is the display of genuine interest and zeal in the performance of one's duties. Even in a hum-drum job it should be possible to spot some face or the other which excites one's interest and imagination and thereby generates enthusiasm in him. Initiative 24. A ldr doesn't wait for things to happen he takes the bull by the horns. In other words, he seizes up a sit sufficiently well and acts w/o delay w/o being forced to react to a sudden devp. Even in the absence of orders, a ldr with initiative will either act or offer well considered recommendations. 25. Apart from possessing initiative yourself, it will also be desirable to devp this trait in your subordinates. This can be accomplished by delegating resp and auth to subordinates and guiding them only where necessary. Integrity 26. Integrity implies a sense of honesty towards one's own conscience and towards fellow-workers. No one wants to wk for a liar, a dishonest boss or a fake. You cannot be a part time honest or a part time truthful ldr and get away with it for long. A ldr who has integrity will not play one subordinate against another. He will not create cliques in the gp to serve his ends. He will have no false front and will be transparently honest and straight fwd in his dealings with his followers. Judgement 27. Judgement refers to the ability of the mind to weigh and analyse various factors related to a problem and to arr at a rational solution. A mil ldr may often be called upon to ex his judgement under difficult conditions in the battle fd, against and w/o the luxury of a sec opinion. It is quite possible under the circumstances that judgements are sometimes erroneous. This, however, should not make a ldr feel shy of exercising his power of judgement. As a matter of fact it is only by experience and prac that the ability to judge can be cultivated. Some of the methods by which the power of judgment can be developed are given below :(a) (b) (c) Acquire more professional knowledge. Apply a commonsense apch to problems. Analyse problems in a logical manner.

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(d) (e)

Prac solving hypothetical problems. Study the methods used by successful ldrs.

Justice 28. Justice is the quality of being impartial and consistent in the ex of one's comd. A ldr who is biased is not likely to retain the confidence of his subordinates for long. It is imp to ensure that personal prejudices are suppressed when tackling the human problems in one's gp. It is as imp to administer justice quickly as it is to do so impartially. Remember "Justice delayed is justice denied." The following pts should always be kept in mind by a ldr :(a) (b) (c) (d) Knowledge 29. The knowledge that a ldr possesses should gen be of a higher level than that of his gp. What is ref to here is not knowledge in a gen sense but that pertaining to the fd of duties which a gp is entrusted with. Mil profession demands a great deal of study and thought, prac and experience in the fds of weaponry, tac, drills and procedures. There is yet another aspect of knowledge that a ldr has to keep in mind. It is the knowledge of his men, their capabilities and characteristics. Acqn of knowledge is a never ending process. Rethinking about the same problem often opens up new vis as of knowledge. A feq guidelines for improving one's knowledge are given below :(a) (b) (c) Loyalty 30. The term `loyalty' is a much discussed one today. To be loyal is to be faithful. The question is often asked, "Faithfulness to what or to whom? The cause? The nation? Indl?" 31. As an offr, you have the right to express your opinion in r/o any question involving your own unit but once a decision has been taken in r/o any op or task, it is incumbent on you to faithfully carry it out as if it was your own decision. RESTRICTED Devp healthy reading habits. Take interest in your men their trg and welfare. Derive max benefit from courses experiences. Be scrupulously honest. Be consistent and impersonal in your punishments. Be impartial in your dealings. Avoid collective punishments.

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32. Again, loyalty is not only to your superior offr but also to your subordinates. Loyalty begets loyalty. If you can stand by your tps in times of difficulty, you are displaying a high sense of loyalty. 33. Abetting a criminal act by your superior or subordinates cannot however be termed as loyalty. Sense of Humour 34. The ability to see humour even in a grim sit is a great asset to a ldr. Humour is infectious and the cheerful morale of the subordinates even under trying conditions. 35. Humour and wit should however be natural and spontaneous and not crude and artificial. 36. The traits described in the preceding paragraphs are not the only ones which contribute to successful leadership. A total of more than fifty traits have been identified in the fd of leadership. We have discussed 14 imp ones among them so far. Given below are eight more traits with brief explanations :(a) Truthfulness. The quality of upholding truth in word and action even against odds, along with honesty in one's dealings. This is closely related to integrity explained earlier. (b) Esprit-de-Corps. This is the same as team spirit. It manifests itself in the form of pride, loyalty and a sense of belonging to one's unity. A ldr who is able to display espirit-de-corps generates cohesion and team spirit among his men also. (c) Unselfishness. A ldr who places the well being of his subordinates above his own comforts under all circumstances will have willing followers. An unselfish ldr passes on the credit to his subordinates when his unit is commended for outstanding wk. He will not take sole credit for the accomplishment of his unit and will assume resp for any failure of his team. (d) Tact. Tact is the ability to deal with others w/o creating unpleasantness. It involves the under standing of human nature and consideration for the feeling of others. Tact in handling a subordinate implies courtesy. A courteous but firm tone will have greater impact than "barking" out orders. (e) Self confidence. The ldr must be a man who can keep his head even in an emergency. The air of self confidence which the ldr displays has a tremendous positive influence on the moral of his tps. In a way the selfconfidence of the ldr is reflected in his bearing, which has been discussed earlier. (f) Maturity. Maturity is that quality which enables a man to face any problem or crisis in a cool and calm manner. Chronological maturity is a matter of age and wisdom arising out of experience. A person can also attain psy RESTRICTED

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maturity which does not necessarily depend upon his age. Immature behaviour in a ldr tends to lower his image in the eyes of his followers. (g) Humility. Humility endears a ldr to his followers, especially when they are aware of his other traits which he displays. A proud and arrogant attitude estranges one's followers and results in one's own isolation in times of crisis. Contrary to popular belief humility is not a sign of weakness. Ashoka was a picture of humility after the Kalinga War and yet the remained an undisputed ldr of his people. (h) Patience. While a sense of urgency may be appropriate for certain occasions which wt it, getting into a `flap' on every occasion w/o the least provocation shows lack of maturity. A man who shows patience coupled with tolerance in his dealings with his subordinates earns their respect and thereby increases his effectiveness as a ldr. Patience is not to be confused with a sense of lethargy in the accomplishment of one's task. Conclusion 37. Even though the latest theories on leadership lay greater emphasis on inter action between a ldr, a gp and a sit than on the traditional `trait' apch, the imp att to the study of traits cannot be minimised, especially the context of mil leadership. Certain traits may appear to be easier to devp than certain others. An effort has, however, to be made to appre the value of various traits, in the fd of mil leadership and to devp them. 38. The ultimate aim of a mil ldr is to create sufficient faith and confidence about himself in his men, so that they will follow him anywhere, in any dangerous sit. These traits help the ldr to create such a faith in his men. His personal example in all these traits will help his men to adopt these for themselves. Every ldr must occasionally ask himself a question "What do I lack which I must devp or wk for or acquire".

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CHAPTER XII LEADERSHIP CASE STUDIES BULANDI KI ORE Introduction 1. The organisational effectiveness of the unit, and upward is the extent to which it succeeds in creating a positive working environment which incorporates:(a) Ability to harmonise professional demands and individual needs.

(b) Establishing sound working relationship through open and supportive interpersonal communication between all ranks. (c) Allotment of clear objectives and tasks at all levels.

(d) Delegation of adequate authority, commensurate with responsibility at all ranks. (e) Encouragement of innovative and creative potentials in individual at all levels. (f) Fair and just system of rewards and penalties.

2. Studies have indicated that working environment plays an important role in motivation of individuals. If the working environment is conducive, the motivational level is likely to be negatively affected even if the values held by individual soldiers are the same as thOse required by the unit and the Army. (See Appendix A for details for understanding of DS only). Bulandi Ki Ore Basic Concept 3. Bulandi ki Ore is a concept where commanders at all levels involve their respective commands in a totally integrated collective efforts towards improving quality of military performance in every sphere and at every level. It must form an important component of ideological motivation. 4. Bulandi ki Ore is a potent amalgam of many highly effective technical, tactical, training as well as individuals potential improvement technique. It is not a short term, one time programme. It aims at integrating the commander and his command in a collective effort to create an environment in which the human potential may be best realised. No matter how much improvement is made there is always a scope to make forward towards Buldandi ki Ore.

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5. The concept aims at generating motivated all round improvement of military standards at individual, sub unit and unit level, based on formal and informal interaction between the commander and his command. It has three cardinal principles:(a) Generation of ideas and suggestions for identification on areas of improvement. (b) Active involvement and participation of the entire command for achievement of these objective. (c) Continuous self improvement by all ranks.

[[Use if Bulandi ki Ore Concept in Daily Routine Matters 6. Bulandi ki Ore concept has an in built flexibility which, with certain modifications, in both the organisation and process, can be utilised in the day to day routine functioning in the unit. For example, it can be utilised fruitfully in daily training. At the end of the days training, the individuals undergoing training are gathered together, along with the instructors, by the Company Commanders and the strengths and weakness of the days training are discussed. Suggestions to improve to improve the training are solicited from the soldiers themselves and practical suggestions that can be implemented immediately, should be incorporated the next day itself.. Experience has shown that the soldiers after they have picked up confidence in the system, will themselves recommend modification to the training programs and the methodology. 7. Some areas for achievement of military excellence are:(a) (b) (c) (d) (e) (f) (g) (h) Operational effectiveness. Training standards. Military motivation. Equipment maintenance. Economy of resources. Junior leader development. Quality of life. Unit administration.

8. Excellence in the above areas will result in enhanced overall operational effectiveness along with personal job satisfaction. Organisation

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9. The basic internal structuring and ethos of the Army units and sub units is already very well suited for achievement of group excellence. Commanders merely have to deliberately and consciously utilise it towards achievement of Bulandi ki Ore. A few elaborations of organisational aspects are:(a) The Commanding Officer. The Commanding Officer is the overall planner of quality improvement activity in the unit. For greater involvement, he should include, in the decision making process, the individuals who attend the commanding officers routine conferences. They would normally be:(i) (ii) (iii) (iv) (v) (vi) (vii) Second-in-Command. Company Commanders. Adjutant. QM. Mechanical Transport Officer (MTO). Subedar Major. Any other coopted members.

They would be responsible to identify and prioritise Key Result Army (KRAs) as also to set tasks and objectives for development activities and specify terms of reference in terms of quantity, quality, resource and time. (b) The Second-in-Command. The Second-in-Command would be the coordinating officer of the Bns/units quality improvement activities. (c) The Company Commander. The Company Commander would coordinate the quality improvement activities within their respective sub unit based on policy and planning of the CO . (d) Break-Through Action Teams (BATs). These teams must be based on existing platoon and sector organisations and working under their respective platoon and section commanders, to preserve small unit identity, cohesion and participation. The sub unit BAT constitutes a group of soldiers of various ranks, experience trade and service profile who are nominated as an action team to solve a particular problem. Within a unit, there may be more than one such team functioning on the same problem or on different issues. Experience indicates that the strength of a BAT should approximately correspond to that of an infantry section or its equivalent in other arms or services (ie. approximately 5 to 25 individuals). Functional Process 11. Generation of Ideas and Suggestions. This is the basic step in the entire performance improvement process which must be strongly encouraged and emphasised if the system is to succeed. All ranks must be encouraged to identify RESTRICTED

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problems as well as suggest ideas, innovations, identification of problem areas through intensive interaction amongst all ranks of a unit or sub unit - a system that is already well existing avenues of formal and informal inter-personal communication within the Army eg Sainik Sammelane and discussions at all levels. Roll Call parades, formal interviews as well as informal interaction. Religious assemblies within the unit are well established occasions which must also be utilised for this purpose, wherever feasible. 12. Planning. To begin with, the Comman-ing Officer or any one in some way critical for the unit lays down the KRAs. The KRAs are prioritsed and terms of reference in terms of Quality, Quantity, Resource and Time are laid down. For example, a Commanding Officer wants to improve the shooting standards of his unit; he then states that he would like to increase the number of marksmen (Quality), by three percent (Quantity), within the training year (Time) with the authorised training ammunition (Resource). 13. BATs. The company commander along with the platoon commanders and the detailed sections are then given the problem to solve. Having considered the problem one or more BATs, based on platoon or sections of the sub unit is nominated to solve the problem. It must be ensured that the nominated BAT possesses the necessary qualitified personnel. In this case, perhaps there may be requirement of some JCO/NCOs with Instructor grading/experience on Platoon Weapons Course. The section commander and his sec then, through brainstorming and discussions among themselves evolve a solution that will help them to solve the problem. It would be advisable that the platoon commander meets his section at regular intervals, (but not every time they meet) to provide help or guidance and mid course corrections as and when required. The company commander also often meets the BAT along with the guide. 14. Resolution. When the problem is finally resolved and approved by the CO, the BAT concerned should be asked to present it to the entire unit, may be during a Sainik Sammelan. The CO should also publicly compliment and where feasible formally reward a BAT which has successfully solved any assigned problem. Enhancement of Unit Efficiency and Self-Esteem 15. Some obvious advantages of the Bulandi ki Ore concept are:(a) Encourages participative culture amongst all ranks in the decision making process for accomplishment of the tasks, goals and objectives with the aim of all round improvement of the unit. (b) Induces personal involvement, initiative and more effective team work, which in turn enhances military motivation. (c) Develops quest for excellence.

(d) Gives an opportunity to all ranks to train in problem identification and analysis, thereby improving personal and professional development. (e) Promotes cohesiveness within sub units and units as also improves officer-men relationship by encouraging communication amongst all ranks. RESTRICTED

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(f) Reduces weakness and enhances quality of military performance by inculcating a zeal for striving for military excellence. (g) (h) Gives all ranks a sense of accomplishment. Builds up self esteem of all ranks.

(j) Provides job satisfaction and thereby ensures commitment to the unit. (k) Helps commanders in the identification and subsequent selection of prospective junior leaders. Dos and Donts 16. Some DOs and Donts are:(a) Do not expect to get immediate result.

(b) Do give the BAT enough time to identity the problem, analyse it and give their recommendations. (c) As commanders, do not give your view on how to solve the problem. Natural tendency of the soldiers of the BAT will, in that case, be only channelised in one direction. (d) Do not expect perfect results the first time. As scope for improvement will always be there, oversee how the problem can be overcome or resolved. (e) Do encourage all members of BAT to give their views - no matter how absurd the proposal may sound. (f) Do not severely criticise the recommendations but do point out any flaws in the proposal. (g) Do be positive and open minded when the problem is given and when recommendations are given. Do not let your prejudices come in the way. (h) Do publicly appreciate members of the BAT that successfully completes a project.

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A STITCH IN TIME SAVES NINE 1. 23 Sep 84 was another typical hectic day at 457 Med Regt. Calm weather prevailed but Col AB Chopra, CO of the Regt was restless. He was pacing up and down in his office when the Adjt walked in. He was muttering to himself, how can it happen, what has gone wrong and where? Only a day prior, during the inspection of the unit, all his bty cdrs and SM had assured him that the unit was in top gear. Then how Gunner Seva Singh, a sincere and motivated soldier, could write directly to the COAS and that too about the unit and his comd. Something wrong some where. He had to brace up and do something before his illustrious career was blotted. (Pl ref to Appx att for Colonel AB Chopras profile). 2. Colonel AB Chopra had been in comd of the unit for more than two yrs. He was a well qualified offr and had held prestigious appts before assuming comd of the Med Regt. He perceived to have a bright future and wanted to succeed at all cost. The unit activity had increased many folds during his comd. 3. He supervised most of the wk, even those being undertaken by sec in comd and bty cdrs. He told his subordinates what to do, how to do and when to do. He did not give any autonomy even to his Bty Cdrs. They had to seek his permission even for granting casual lve to their men. He wanted implicit obedience to his orders which were usually passed through his Adjt and SM. He did not appreciate any discussion/advice unless sought for. He had humiliated many offrs including the 2IC in public when they voiced their opinion on their own and that too contrary. The subordinates thus became very cautious and they started playing his tune. 4. Col AB Chopra was an extrovert but did not distinguish between an office and the mess. He often ticked off offrs in front of ladies for official lapses. He was usually late for the functions but did not tolerate late arr of offrs. Even the ladies had to be punctual. He commanded awe instead of reverence. 5. Gunner Seva Singh came from rural background and had ten yrs of service. He was a typical rustic soldier but was very hard working and always strived hard for excellence. He was a motivated, sincere and honest soldier who commanded respect in the unit. He had taken part in three regtl teams viz. Cross Country, Boxing and Kabaddi. He was instrumental in unit winning Bde X country Championship. Even professionally he was much ahead of his colleagues. He was, however, forthright and never hesitated to put across his point of view. 6. SM Vakil Singh had joined the Med Regt on promotion only about a yr back. He was hard working and had done good wk to the entire satisfaction of the CO. He was, however, very short tempered and had a very foul tongue. He was only looking upwards and was COs yes man. He did not care for values and sentiments of his subordinates. Interestingly mess bill of most of the JCOs had gone up since he had joined the unit. 7. One day Gunner Seva Singh received a letter from his wife who requested his immdt presence in the house because his landed property had been forcibly evicted. But he could proceed on lve only after Comdg Offrs approval and he could thus proceed on lve after three days. Seva Singh requested for extension of lve , which was

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also sanctioned. He, however, failed to join duty on the due date but joined after 37 days leave, incl enhancement, and 13 days absence. 8. He was summoned by the Sub Maj who shouted and called him all sorts of names without even asking reasons for his late arr. Gunner Seva Singh tried to explain his problem and the trauma that he had gone through in his village. But the SM was not interested in his personal problems. His main concern was that the mil discp had been violated and the CO was very annoyed. Gunner Seva Singh did not keep quite, instead quoted earlier instance wherein many others had violated the mil discp but nothing happened because they were his yes men. 9. The SM was furious, lost his cool, accused him to be argumentative and a Big Liar. He used abusive and threatening language. He said, You are a big liar. You are fabricating stories. I know people of your kind. You think too much of yourself. You will repent. I will sort you out. He even used abusive language. The pitch and tone was so insulting that it could hurt any self respecting person. Unconfirmed reports also indicated that, even man handling was resorted to. Gunner Seve Singh was baffled and did not understand reasons for such a treatment. The entire episode took place in playfd where sportsmen as well as Seva Singhs jr were present amongst whom he had commanded respect. He was thus perturbed and lost his equanimity. 10. The SM reported the late arrival to the CO. He gave his version of the evening episode and convinced him that Seva Singh had to be dealt with strictly, not only for coming late but also for insulting him. 11. Gunner Seva Singh went everywhere to explain that he had been a sincere soldier all his life. He had brought lauds more than once. He had gone through mental as well as physical trauma and the reasons for his absence were beyond his cont. He was on the verge of loosing his landed property. He narrated the way he was humiliated. But no body could help him. All his pleas were ignored and every thing fell on deaf ears. 12. Next day he was marched in front of the CO's Office. Here again he tried his best to explain the reasons for his absence. But the CO did not hear anything. He was already convinced that Seva Singh was a bad egg. He was awarded 28 days RI in Mil Custody. 13. Gunner Seva Singh was hurt very badly. He could not bear it any more and probably was instigated by someone. He decided to redress his grievances to the highest auth in the Army - The Chief. He wrote a detailed letter giving facts of the case. His main theme was that the soldiers were not being treated like human beings in the unit. He said that the CO was not taking judicious decisions and was influenced by SMs biased opinions. He wrote that order of the day in the unit was JEE HAZZOR and not the profession. He pleaded that an independent enquiry be instituted to investigate the functioning of the Regt. He bypassed all chains of comd and addsd the letter directly to the Chief of Army Staff. It is worth mentioning that the letter was posted while the indl was still in QG. The CO and the SM were not aware of this fact. 14. The CO came to know of the letter only on Sep 84 and was perturbed. He was, however, assured by his confidents that the indl needed to be handled firmly and the matter would be easily resolved. Maj KL Sharma another Yes Man discussed the issue with Gunner Seva Singh, but nothing came out of the discussion. On the contrary RESTRICTED

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the indl refused to talk and make any statement to anyone. Col AB Chopra did not feel appropriate to either interview or counsel the indl.

15. The CO managed to get the indl posted to a different unit. Gunner Seva Singh, however, refused to accept the movement order till he was given the justice. A bd of offrs was ordered to hand over the mov order to Seva Singh but did not succeed and the CO was accordingly informed. 16. Col AB Chopra was very furious and ordered implementation of his orders at any cost. Even by use of force if reqd. Gnr Seva Singh was finally physically lifted, put in a one ton veh and sent to rly stn on way to his new unit.

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Appendix (Ref to para 1) PROFILE OF COL AB CHOPRA 1. A graduate of DSSC, ( He secured a competitive vacancy in the entrance exam). Col AB Chopra was well read, intelligent and imaginative. He was sharp and analytical. He prided himself in his professional competence. He had secured instr grading in LGSC, SC as well as JC course. Most of his course reports had A grading and C grading was missing from his career profile. 2. He had held instr as well as staff appts. He was GSO-3 of an inf bde, with four years service. He had a small stint as GSO-2 at AHQ before assuming comd.

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PROBLEM SOLVING (NAYA COMD) 1. Lt Brown, a newly commissioned offr reported to his Bn and was assigned the tasks of No 4 Pl Cdr of B Coy. From the beginning the men in the platoon displayed an unfriendly attitude towards him, and they did not co-operate with him. Although they obeyed his orders, they responded to them rather slowly. Almost reluctantly, he decided to take a closer look at his subordinates. He conferred with the Coy Cdr and checked the indl service records. He found his pl Hav was an old soldier and had been in Comd of the pl for eight months prior to the arr of the new Lt. 2. It soon became obvious to Lt Brown that the Pl Hav felt he was still in Comd and the Lt had been assigned merely to Learn the ropes. It was also possible that he had the impression that Lt Brown had been assigned to Shape up the Pl. This caused a feeling of resentment. 3. At the end of the second week Lt Brown held a pl roll call and complimented the pl on the work they had done since his assignment. He urged him to continue their performance and emphasised the imp of teamwork to achieve unit proficiency. 4. The following week, the Bn participated in an Ex. B coy was given an important task and Lt Browns pl was given this task. Lt Brown imdt took command of the sit, analysed it and issued clear orders to the Sec Cdrs. Lt Brown assigned a specific task to his Pl Hav that was an important one. In the critique that followed the Ex Lt Brown and the 4 Pl were rated superior in the accomplishment of their assigned tasks. Lt Brown voiced praise on the manner in which the Pl Hav and men performed. Subsequently, the Pl displayed a high degree of esprit de- corps and continued to be the best in the Bn. 5. Lessons Learnt. (a) (b) (c) (d) (e) Know your men. Know your job. Tact. Decisiveness. Courage- Mental.

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LORD JIM 1. Jim was one of five sons of an English pastor. After initial schooling, when his longing for the sea had declared itself, he was sent on a training ship for becoming an officer of the mercantile marine. 2. He dreamt of a life where he would shine in the midst of dangers. But after two years of training when he went to sea, entering the regions so well known to his imagination, he found them strangely barren of adventure. He made many voyages and the only reward he sought was perfect love of his work. However, this reward eluded him. Yet he did not go back because there was nothing more enticing than the life at sea. With thorough knowledge of his duties, at the young age of 24, he became the chief mate of a fine ship, a local steamer named Patna, plying in the East. 3. Patna was commanded by a renegade German, who brutalised all those he was not afraid of. The Chief Engineer was a man who loved the battle and young Jim found it pretty uncomfortable in their company. Onboard, she had embarked a motley crowd of 800 ethnic Arabs who were on pilgrimage and was heading for the Arabian Sea, when off the Somali Coast she was hit by a floating derelict. 4. Jim who kept the middle watch was ordered by his Captain to go forward and ascertain if there was any damage. He was told to call no one and to make no noise for fear of creating a panic. On inspection, he found that the forepeak was more than half full of water. This matter was reported to the Captain. The second engineer opined that the collision bulkhead, which separated the forepeak from the free hold, was rotten and would give way in minute. Jim who has also inspected the collision bulkhead knew that it was rusted. 5. The die was cast and the Captain was convinced that the ship would soon go down like a lump of lead. He ordered the engineer officer to stop the engines. 6. Jim was caught in a trance. The crew and passengers were sleeping on deck. He was tempted to wake them up but he did not. He was afraid. He was not afraid of death, but he was afraid of the emergency. His confounded imagination had evoked for him all the horrors of panic, the trampling rush, the pitiful screams, boats swamped all the appalling incidents of a disaster at sea he had ever heard of. The ship had 800 people onboard and just seven boats. The extreme weariness of emotions and the vanity of effort had taken its toll on Jim. 7. The Captain and the Engineers(all white men) soon got to work to lower one boat, but Jim refused to join them. He was torn between his duty and his state of helplessness. Astern of the ship, he could see a silent black squall, which has already covered about one third of the sky. 8. The other white men beckoned Jim to join them. Said the Engineer You silly fool ! Do you think you will get the ghost of a chance when all that lot of brutes are in the water? Why, they will batter your hear for you from these boats

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9. Yet he made no move when the boat was being lowered. A fourth white man came up from the engine room and tried to make his way towards the davit. He soon slumped in the vicinity and died of cardiac arrest. Jim made his way to the davit to look at the dead man and the loud cries of the Captain and the other two beckoning the dead man to jump into the boat rang in his ears. The squall had hit the ship and it seemed the ship was taking a slow plunge. Something overcame Jim and he jumped into the boat. Questions/Points For Discussions 1. How do you see Jim? Was he a product of romanticism, an escapist or one who held his personal honour above everything else? 2. Was Jims approach the right path to follow to conquer fame?

3. Jims jumping from the ship was an error of judgement. Do you think such errors should compel an individual to retreat from the world and drive himself to extreme limits to prove a point? LORD JIM : NOTES Q-1. How do you see Jim? Was he a product of romanticism, an escapist or one who held his personal honour above everything else? 1. Jim was a product of romanticism, he dreamt of life where he would shine in the midst of lurking dangers. After many voyages to the sea he sought for an elusive reward of his perfect love of his work. He wanted to be an epitome of perfection in his work but yet was in a trance of indecisiveness when caught in a catch 22 situation. 2. It was but a small decision to make when he already knew that the collision bulkhead was rusted and the ship had to go down like a lump of lead. His escapism from the real world comes to forefront as he wants to be in a trance when all the horrors of panic, the trampling rush, the pitiful screams, and all the appalling incidents of disaster at sea had taken its toll on Jim. This lead to extreme wariness of emotions that overcame Jim. He was torn between his duty and his state of helplessness. Jim was an example of a perfect romanticist whose duty was a mere figment of imagination when subjected to a practical situation his romanticism took over to become an escapist. Q-2 Was Jim`s approach the right path to follow to conquer fame?

1. Jim`s approach to conquer fame was not right. To acquire fame you require to perform your duty above all. Every body has a part to play whether small/big in a battle. In moments of crisis specially one has to react to be stimuli than going into a trance. Rather than combating with an emergency he was afraid of it. His feelings could not get translated into action when confronted with an approach like Jim`s.

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Q-3 Jim`s jumping from the ship was an error of judgement. Do you think such errors should compel an individual to retreat from the world and drive himself to extreme limits to prove a point? 1. Yes, Jim`s jumping from the ship was an error of judgement. According to his feelings he was a person with no fear of death but yet when he saw his mate die of cardiac arrest on his way to the boat, he no longer was in a trance and he jumped into the boat. 2. No, such errors should not compel an individual to retreat from the world and to drive one to extreme limits just to prove a point . It is good to be a hero but no good to be foolhardy, and impractical . In a sinking ship his captain had ordered him to lower the boat and to get into it. His captain knew the chances of survival for all in the ship was remote. Q-4. What were the various options available to him? Why did he took to jumping of the ship. 10. He had indeed jumped into an everlasting deep hole. He had tumbled from a height he could never scale again The boat with the four white men drifted away in the belief that Patna had taken the plunge. 11. The next day , before sunset, they were picked up by another steamer and they told their story. The story was the same from everyone-Stopped the ship, ascertained the damage, took measures to set the boats out without creating a panic, as the first boat was lowered, the ship went down in a squall and sank like lead. 12. But unknown to the Captain and the officers of Patna, the old steamer had survived and a French gunboat enroute to reunion towed her safely to Aden. This set the stage for an investigation. 13. Many thoughts ran down Jims mind. Suppose I had stuck to the ship? Well, how much longer? Say, a minute or thirty seconds and I would have been overboard, I would then have laid my hands to the first thing that came my way oar, buoy, grating, anything? 14. During the course of he hearing, sympathetic members of the court who had been privy to Jims story, offered Jim money and recommended that he execute a vanishing act and lead a new life without any stigma attached, in some far away land. But Jim refused to tread that path. 15. The day of reckoning finally arrived and the court pronounced its judgement. It said In utter disregard to their duty, and abandoning in the moment of danger, the lives and properly confided to their charge --------- went on the order, and therefore, the court rules that Gustav so- and so, erstwhile master of Patna, Jim so and so erstwhile chief mate of Patna --------- have their certificates cancelled. 16. Jim was guilty and done for. He tried to take comfort from the fact that he may have jumped and deserted his ship. But did not run away from justice. He preferred to make a clean breast of everything. Better men have found it expedient to run, but not Jim. Given a certain combination of circumstances, fear is found to grip even the

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bravest of the brave. This fear of themselves manifests in unknown ways and Jim was a victim of the fear. 17. One may get on in life knowing that courage does not come of itself. There is nothing much in it to get upset about. One may not die of being afraid but Jim had to live down the fact that he had deserted his ship and men. To Jim, life was worth very little when honour was gone. 18. Jims well wishers found him a job as a water clerk, a ship handlers representative. It was a job not invested with any glamour. It was something to do, to keep body and soul together. His adventurous fancy was suffering and people who knew him felt distressed. But he tackled it with stubborn serenity. 19. He had loved to imagine himself a glorious racehorse and now he was condemned to toil without honour like a donkey. He did it very well. He shut himself in, put his head down and never said a word. His incognito was not mean to hide a personality, but a fact. Unfortunately, the scandal of the Eastern seas would not die out. When the fact broke through the incognito, he would leave suddenly the port where he happened to be at the time and go to another generally further east. He kept to ports because he was a seaman in exile. 20. In the course of years, he was known successively in Bombay, Calcutta, Rangoon and Penang and proved an asset to his ship handler bosses. But the fact followed him casually and inevitably and when his keen perception of the intolerable drove him away from seaports and white men, he found a home for himself in the jungles of Malay, where he had elected to conceal his deplorable identity. 21. Destiny took him to Patusan a remote district of a native ruled state in the Indonesian archipelago. He wanted refuge and refuge at the cost of danger had beckoned him. At Patusan, there was a totally new set of conditions for his imaginative faculty to work upon. He was a deeply romantic person and left his earthly failings behind him to begin a new innings. 22. He was despatched to Patusan to take charge of a trading outpost that had fallen on bad times owing to the ineptitude of the lone white man on the island, a half Portuguese named Comelius. 23. Jims arrival at Patusan was a blessing to the oppressed people of the remote district. The local Rajah was a tyrant and the situation was complicated by an Arab half breed, Sherif Ali, who was inciting the tribals on religious grounds. On arrival in Patusan, he was arrested by the Rajah but escaped from his clutches and found himself in the midst of the rival Bugi community. Fortunately for Jim, he had with him a letter of introduction to the chief of the Bugis and he was soon accepted into the heart of the community. 24. He endeared himself to the Bugis and helped them to overcome the onslaughts of the Rajah and Sherif Ali. The islanders had gifted him with supernatural powers. He earned their rust and gradually became the virtual ruler of the land . The people referred to him as Tuan Jim or Lord Jim. 25. He had renounced the Western World and fell in love with a local half caste girl. He had finally got what he wanted most in life. He wanted to be loved , trusted and RESTRICTED

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admired with a legend of strength and prowess forming round his name. In short, he wanted to be a hero and that is what he had become. 26. All this soon changed when a stolen Spanish schooner with a British renegade Captain named Brown and his bunch of pirates arrived in Patusan. Jim rallied the islanders behind him and the renegades backed off. Jim was gracious enough to grant Brown and his men a safe passage to the sea. This he did in the face of much opposition from the local people. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. 27. He told his people that he had lived amongst them, fought with them and would never deceive them. He told him that he was ready to answer with his life if any harm came to them from the English Pirates, whom he was granting safe passage. He thundered- Have my words ever brought suffering to you? I, whom you have tried and found always true ask you? I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go! I am responsible for every life in this land. 28. He was now once again at his romantic best. The ability to carry his will through, made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeceable men who never fall out of the ranks. 29. But destiny willed otherwise. The half born Portuguese Cornelius who nursed a grudge against Jim for dethroning him from the trading outpost saw an opportunity to get back at Jim. He convinced Brown that it was foolhardy to back off without a fight and with his intricate knowledge of the archipelago arranged for an alternate route for Brown and his men to withdraw and catch Jims team by surprise. 30. The plan hatched by Cornelius worked. Jim had asked his men not to attack the pirates when they withdrew. The men obeyed Jim but were dumbfounded when from a most unexpected direction Brown and his pirates sprayed fire on to them. Many lives were lost including that of the son of Chief of the Bugi community. It was a most cruel treachery. 31. On hearing of the treacherous act when he ordered his faithful servant to go out immediately and inform others, the servant very apologetically said, It is not safe for thy servant to go out amongst the people. 32. Jim now understood the situation. He had retreated from one world for a small matter of an impulsive jump and now the other, had fallen in ruins upon his head. For Jim, everything was lost. He who had been once unfaithful to his trust had lost again everybodys confidence. Even for the poor people of the island, Jim was now under a cloud. 33. The girl he loved and his faithful servant Tomb informed him that the village gates were closed and that they will have to fight for their lives. They suggested that by audacity and cunning, they will be able to make good their escape from Patusan. 34. Jim was inflexible and said, Fight for what? There is no escape. The girl clung to him and begged of him to defend himself for her sake because he had promised her that he would never leave her. In a flicker of superb egoism Jim had said, Nothing can touch me He had decided to prove his power in another way and conquer the fatal destiny itself. RESTRICTED

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35. Jim unclasped himself from the girl by force and headed for the place of the Bugi Chief where his sons body was lying in state. He took the whole incident upon his head and told the Chief I have come in sorrow and I have come ready and unarmed. 36. The old Chief got up, with rage and pain clearly visible in him and looking at Jim straight in the face, shot him through the chest. Jim gave a proud and unflinching glance at the crowd and breathed his last. 37. That was the end. He passed away under a cloud, inscrutable at heart, forgotten, unforgiven and excessively romantic.

ALPATHAR SECURED 1. In 1993, 15 MAHAR was dply in OP MEGHDOOT (North Glaicer), their relief had already reached the Base Camp and were to commence handing taking over the posts in less than a fortnight. 2. Maj PP Singh was the Coy Cdr of a fwd Coy. Lt DS Dhaliwal was the satellite Post Cdr of Alpathar, which was under constant Pakistani Arty fire. Lt Dhaliwal was very spirited and had est himself well among the tps. He info his Coy Cdr that his post is likely to be attacked by the en within a week to a fortnight and that he wanted permission to go across the AGPL and destroy en prep for the attack. 3. The Coy Cdr, thought the YO was wanting glory for himself and was making up fictitious info of Pak buildup, besides the Bn would unnecessarily suffer cas due to the proposal of Dhaliwal, who had just put in one yr of service. The Coy Cdr spoke to the CO and insisted that the post be relieved at the earliest, least the Bn suffers cas during the fag end of its tenure. In the evening Lt Dhaliwal was info, that the CO and the Bde Cdr had refused permission to cross the AGPL and he is to hand over the post to the next bn within a week and return back to Base Camp. 4. Lt Dhaliwal was very upset with his coy cdr and CO, on their response. He discussed the likelihood of en attack on his post with the post JCO and NCOs, who were in agreement with the post cdr. He once again tried to convince his Coy Cdr but failed to do so. 5. On a subsequent cloudy day, he along with two volunteer NCOs descended towards the en side. The radio set in the post was switched off and the JCo was ready with the QRT to assist Lt Dhaliwal, if reqd. 6. To Lt Dhaliwals dismay, his info was true, complete prep of buildup for attack on his post was in place. With the help of his 84 mm RL and LMG he destroyed the FGH, burnt the planks, ropes etc. While returning they carried some live amn of Pak ordnance factory, rope and so on, the party got back to their post safely. 7. He reported the success of his msn across AGPL to his Coy Cdr who shouted back at him and he was also pulled up by the CO and the Bde Cdr. He was told to hand RESTRICTED

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over the post to another offr and was marched up to the CO. He info the CO that his mov saved his post, as the en was prep in every way to attack his post in str within that week. 8. The report was sent up to GOC and to the Corps Cdr, who thought the offr had done a good job and suggested his citation be put-up for an award. The offr was later decorated with SM.

TRYST WITH FIDAYEEN 1. Sub RS Bakshi, SM, after two yr tenure in Wpn Wg at Inf School, Mhow, was posted back to 92 SIKH, dply in South Kashmir. All Coy Cdrs were vying to get Sub Bakshi because of his past record. Sub Bakshi had represented Services in athletics, participated in all games and professional competitions. He had always remained trustworthy and devoted towards the betterment of the Bn and well being of his subordinates. Due to his devotion to duty he was popular and everyone wanted to rise up to his level of professional efficiency. 2. On the strong recommendation of the SM, Col CS Mann, the CO appointed Sub Bakshi as the Bn SA. 3. On 18 Jun 2001, the Bn was involved in a Bde level Op in which contact with militants was est at two locs and addl rfts were mov from the Bn HQ. Late in the ni a source came to the bn HQ and info the RP of the likelihood of a fidayeen attack in the ni on the Bn HQ, from the jungles on the steep mtn to the North. 4. On receipt of the info, the SA, the only JCO besides SM, present in the post went from tent to tent prepared an ambush party of himself and twenty ORs. Shortly the ambush party moved up the hill and contact with the militants was est, in the ensuing fire fight, four militants were killed and two escaped. Sub Bakshi with a few OR chased the militants, who started throwing grenades and escaped into the jungle. Two of the boys recd splinter injuries and were evac to the Bn HQ. 5. On receipt of the info about the contact of SAs ambush party with the militants Adjt returned back to the Bn HQ, he did not view the action of the SA favourably as he felt the post was denuded, besides the Adjt castigated the JCO for the injuries suffered by two pers of his party. 6. However, on return of the CO, Adjt and SM briefed him about the incident. Immediately an Offr JCO conf was called where the CO asked Sub Bakshi to standup and praised his initiative and presence of mind, he info the gathering that but for the action of Sub Bakshi, the Bn HQ could have come under attack.

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NOTES (a) (b) (c) (d) (e) High motivation is only possible by having a high std of trg. Should have great initiative and be able to motivate your Decisions made should be sound and timely. Know your job well and be sincere and loyal towards it. Be courageous and appreciate the sit in front of you. subordinates.

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